Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Full Episode: "Fix My Broken Family, Part 2 (Ep. 407)" | Iyanla: Fix My Life | Oprah Winfrey Network

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I HAD AN EXTRAMARITAL AFFAIR

WHICH AFFORDED ME TO HAVE A SON OUTSIDE OF MY MARRIAGE.

HE BETTER BE GLAD

HE'S STILL GOT HIS PIECES AND PARTS IN THE PLACES

THAT GOD PUT THEM.

I ALLOWED MY MOM

TO MANIPULATE SOME THINGS IN OUR LIVES.

I BROUGHT MY FAMILY TO YOU.

-BACK UP. -I AGREED.

-WATCH IT. -NO, YOU WATCH IT.

MY DAD AND I DO NOT GET ALONG.

IT'S LIKE A DARK CLOUD IN THE HOUSE.

I DON'T GO THERE WHEN MY DAD'S THERE.

YOUR HUSBAND HAS A SUBSTANCE-ABUSE PROBLEM.

-I KNOW. -WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS?

-IT'S COCAINE. -OH.

BEFORE YOU CAN RE-ENGAGE TOMORROW,

YOU WILL HAVE TO TAKE A DRUG TEST AND A BREATHALYZER.

TELL ME THE TRUTH. DON'T LIE TO ME.

I WANT TO GET OUT.

SO I'M HERE AGAIN WITH THE HENRY FAMILY.

A FAMILY IN TOTAL BREAKDOWN.

A HUSBAND WHO IS BEHAVING BADLY, A WIFE WHO HAS NO VOICE,

AND CHILDREN WHO ARE TRAUMATIZED BY THE FATHER'S BAD BEHAVIOR.

MY HOPE TODAY IS THAT HE, AS THE KING OF THE CASTLE,

WILL BE ABLE TO RECLAIM HIS THRONE

AND DO THE WORK THAT'S REQUIRED, FIRST, TO HEAL HIMSELF,

AND THEN TO PROVIDE LEADERSHIP AND SUPPORT FOR HIS FAMILY.

I'VE ALSO GOT A WIFE WHO SAYS, RIGHT NOW, SHE WANTS OUT.

SO MY HOPE IS THAT I CAN GIVE HER

THE SUPPORT AND THE TOOLS THAT SHE NEEDS

TO BE ABLE TO STAND IN THAT DECISION,

NO MATTER WHAT SHE CHOOSES TO DO.

STILL A LOT OF WORK TO BE DONE HERE.

A LOT OF WORK.

BUT WE'LL GET IT DONE.

Iyanla: I AM IYANLA VANZANT,

AND I AM HERE TO HELP YOU DO YOUR WORK.

-- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS

SO, AS YOU KNOW, YESTERDAY, IYANLA REQUIRED --

ASKED YOU TO TAKE A BREATHALYZER AND A DRUG TEST.

Iyanla: BEFORE YOU CAN RE-ENGAGE TOMORROW,

YOU WILL HAVE TO TAKE A DRUG TEST AND A BREATHALYZER.

OKAY.

ALL RIGHT. GO AHEAD.

[ BLOWING ]

SO, PULL THAT OFF.

WE CAN TRASH THAT WHEN WE GET TO THE TOP.

YOU GOOD? YOU READY FOR IT?

YOU SURE?

I FEEL LIKE I'M BEING HUMILIATED.

YOU'RE NOT. IT'S A PART OF THE PROCESS.

WE CAN GO THIS WAY.

[ CHUCKLES ]

THERE IS STILL A LOT WORK TO BE DONE HERE.

YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES WHEN THINGS GET BROKEN,

NOT ONLY CAN THEY NOT BE FIXED,

THEY HAVE TO BE TOTALLY RELEASED

SO THAT SOMETHING NEW CAN BE CREATED.

MR. DWIGHT!

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

GOOD MORNING. HOW ARE YOU?

I'M GOOD.

IS IT POSSIBLE THAT YOU'D BE WILLING

TO PUT YOUR PHONE AWAY?

YES, MA'AM.

I'M GONNA PUT YOU BACK IN YOUR SEAT.

[ LAUGHS ]

HOPEFULLY, TODAY WE CAN GET A LITTLE FURTHER

THAN WE GOT YESTERDAY.

Iyanla: THE LAST 24 HOURS

HAVE BEEN PRETTY HARD ON DWIGHT AND HIS FAMILY,

SO I'M VERY INTERESTED TO SEE

IF HE'S A BIT MORE CLEAR-MINDED THAN HE WAS YESTERDAY.

IF YOU WANT TO BE ENGAGED IN THE PROCESS,

I NEED YOU TO COME BACK HERE TOMORROW

WITH NO ALCOHOL ON YOUR BREATH

AND NO MIND-ALTERING DRUGS IN YOUR SYSTEM.

SO, MR. DWIGHT, I'D LIKE TO TALK ABOUT YESTERDAY

SO THAT WE CAN BE CLEAR,

BECAUSE I'M AWARE THAT ONE OF THE THINGS

THAT YOU SAID IS A CHALLENGE FOR YOU

IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR WIFE

IS THAT THINGS HAPPEN AND THEY'RE NOT TALKED ABOUT.

SO LET'S JUST TAKE SIX MINUTES AND SPEAK ABOUT THAT.

I FEEL LIKE IT WAS A WASTE, YOU KNOW,

TO COME THIS FAR AND RESPOND THE WAY I DID.

I BROUGHT MY FAMILY TO YOU.

-NO, YOU DIDN'T. -I DID.

-YOUR FAMILY BROUGHT YOU -- -I BROUGHT MY FAMILY TO YOU.

-WATCH IT. -NO, YOU WATCH IT.

THAT OPENED MY EYES TO MY OWN BEHAVIOR.

CAN I SHARE WITH YOU MY PERSPECTIVE OF YESTERDAY?

PLEASE.

I DON'T THINK IT WAS A WASTE AT ALL.

I THINK THAT THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN NO WORDS

I COULD HAVE SPOKEN, MISS THELISHA COULD HAVE SPOKEN,

ANYBODY COULD HAVE SPOKEN

THAT WOULD HAVE GIVEN YOU A DEMONSTRATION

OF WHAT WE SAW YESTERDAY.

SO I THINK YESTERDAY WAS ABSOLUTELY DIVINE.

THE OTHER THING YESTERDAY DID WAS

IT GAVE US AN OPPORTUNITY TO GET CLEAR

ABOUT YOUR RECREATIONAL DRUG USE.

MM-HMM.

SO, ONE OF THE BOUNDARIES THAT I CREATED FOR THIS MORNING

WAS THAT YOU HAD TO TAKE A DRUG TEST AND BREATHALYZER.

MM-HMM.

AND THE BREATHALYZER...

[ BLOWING ]

...WAS NEGATIVE.

THANK YOU.

THE DRUG TEST, HOWEVER,

HAS COME BACK POSITIVE FOR MARIJUANA AND COCAINE.

[ CRYING ]

ARE YOU AWARE THAT YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH SUBSTANCES?

I MEAN, I DON'T --

IT'S ONLY WHEN CIRCUMSTANCES ARISE

THAT DO I RESULT TO THOSE THINGS.

UM...AND I USE IT AS A CRUTCH.

SO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM.

'CAUSE PEOPLE DON'T USE CRUTCHES UNLESS SOMETHING'S BROKEN.

RIGHT.

CAN YOU OWN THAT YOU HAVE A PROBLEM?

YEAH.

HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED TREATMENT?

I HAVE CONSIDERED IT.

AND WHY HAVEN'T YOU DONE IT?

IT'S JUST, AT THIS POINT, FINANCIALLY,

IT WOULD BE OUT OF THE QUESTION.

DO YOU BELIEVE YOU NEED REHAB?

IT WOULD BE DEFINITELY HELPFUL, YES.

WHAT IF IT DIDN'T COST YOU ANYTHING?

AND EVERYTHING AT HOME WOULD BE OKAY?

I'D GO TOMORROW.

EVERYTHING AT HOME IS OKAY

WHEN YOU GO BINGEING FOR FOUR AND FIVE DAYS

AND YOU'RE NOT HOME AND YOU DON'T CALL.

THIS IS ABOUT COMMITMENT.

MM-HMM.

'CAUSE WHAT I HEARD YOU SAY WAS

IF YOU KNEW IT WOULDN'T COST YOU ANYTHING

AND THAT HOME WOULD BE OKAY, YOU'D GO TOMORROW.

I HEARD YOU SAY THAT.

I DID.

-IS THAT TRUE? -YES.

WHY DO YOU NEED REHAB?

IN A NUTSHELL, I'M DESTROYING MY FAMILY.

LOOK AT ME,

'CAUSE I REALLY WANT YOU TO GET THIS.

LET'S SAY I'M A SOUL SURGEON, RIGHT?

MM-HMM. AND YOU'RE MY PATIENT.

AND YOU JUST -- YOU JUST GOT SHOT.

I DON'T CARE WHY YOU GOT SHOT. I REALLY DON'T.

WHAT I CARE IS THAT YOU GOT A BULLET HOLE IN YOUR LIFE.

I WANT TO KNOW, IS IT NEAR ANY VITAL ORGANS?

I WANT TO KNOW IF THERE'S ANY INTERNAL INJURY.

AND I WANT TO KNOW IF I CAN STOP THE BLEEDING

UNTIL I CAN GET THE BULLET OUT.

AND WHAT I'M LOOKING AT

IS A MAN WHO HAS A GAPING HOLE NEAR VITAL ORGANS,

AND SOME VITAL ORGANS, MR. DWIGHT, HAVE BEEN DAMAGED.

DO YOU KNOW WHICH ONES?

MY CHILDREN... AND MY WIFE.

YES.

YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM IS IN CRITICAL CONDITION.

YOUR MARRIAGE IS ON LIFE SUPPORT.

YOUR LIFE AND YOUR FAMILY AS YOU HAVE KNOWN IT IS OVER.

THIS STUFF THAT'S BEEN GOING ON --

IT'S OVER.

HOW DID IT START?

UM...

WHEN I LOST MY COUSIN IN 2006.

YOU LOST YOUR COUSIN, AND DO YOU REMEMBER?

HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT

"WHY DID LOSING MY COUSIN PUSH ME TO THAT BAD BEHAVIOR?"

IT WAS DURING THE PERIOD AFTER MY INFIDELITY,

AND JUST FOR SEVEN YEARS WITH MY WIFE,

IT WAS REALLY ROUGH.

BEING A FAITHFUL HUSBAND, DOING EVERYTHING THAT --

AFTER YOU HAD BEEN UNFAITHFUL AND BROUGHT HER HOME A BABY.

-RIGHT. -DO YOU GET THAT?

I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.

YOU GOT TO GO THERE.

I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.

AND HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU DONE THAT?

-50. -50.

YEAH.

DO YOU GET WHAT THAT DOES

TO YOUR SELF-RESPECT AND DIGNITY AS A MAN?

YES.

THEN CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT IT DOES

TO HER VALUE AND WORTH AS A WOMAN?

YES.

IF YOU DON'T REMEMBER NOTHING ELSE I SAID TO YOU,

IF YOU DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING ELSE

THAT COMES OUT OF OUR TIME TOGETHER,

I WANT YOU TO REALLY HOLD THIS --

[ BREATHES DEEPLY ]

THAT I WORTH MY OWN TIME, ENERGY, AND ATTENTION.

BECAUSE UNTIL YOU BELIEVE THAT,

YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO DO ENOUGH IN THE WORLD

TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL WORTHY.

AND WHEN YOU KNOW THAT,

THEN YOU KNOW THAT WHAT YOU HAVE TO GIVE TO OTHERS IS VALUABLE.

BUT IF YOU'RE GIVING FROM A PLACE OF WORTHLESSNESS,

WHAT YOU'RE GIVING IS TRASH.

DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?

-IT DOES. -YEAH, YEAH.

YEAH.

SO, I'M GONNA GO TALK TO YOUR FAMILY.

AND THEN THERE'S A BIG CONVERSATION

THAT Y'ALL HAVE TO HAVE.

SO THAT YOU CAN, TOGETHER,

MAP OUT THE NEXT MOST APPROPRIATE STEPS.

Iyanla: I HAVE HOPE FOR DWIGHT'S FAMILY,

BUT I STILL KNOW THAT HIS LIFE AND HIS FAMILY AS HE KNEW IT

WILL NEVER AGAIN BE THE SAME.

I HOPE HE CAN MAKE IT THROUGH THIS NEXT STEP.

Dwight: FEELS LIKE SOME KIND OF LOCK.

ANYTHING, LIKE, LOCKED UP? EVER HAD THAT EXPERIENCE?

I WAS INCARCERATED.

I VOWED TO MYSELF I WOULD NOT GO THROUGH THAT,

BUT I ENDED UP WITH THAT.

-WITH WHAT? -WITH MY HUSBAND, DWIGHT.

WHEN THINGS ARE NOT GOOD WITH TWO OF YOU,

I FEEL LIKE I GET THROWN TO THE WOLVES.

-DO YOU TRUST HIM? -MNH-MNH.

DO YOU TRUST HER?

THIS THING HERE IS DONE.

Iyanla: SO, MR. DWIGHT IS GONNA BE JOINING US.

HERE HE COMES.

COME ON IN, MR. DWIGHT. COME ON.

I'M HAVING DWIGHT AND THELISHA DO AN EXERCISE

THAT WILL BRING THEM FACE TO FACE

WITH THE UNDERBELLY,

THE REASONS BEHIND THE CHOICES THEY'VE MADE.

MY GOAL IS FOR THEM TO TRULY UNDERSTAND

THAT HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE

AND THAT THEY MUST ACKNOWLEDGE AND ACCEPT

THE ROOT OF THEIR HURT

IN ORDER TO COMPLETE THIS HEALING PROCESS.

WHAT I NEED Y'ALL TO DO --

TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES AND GET IN THE DIRT.

[ CHUCKLES ]

TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES.

OR GET IN THERE WITH YOUR SHOES ON.

IT'S UP TO YOU.

BECAUSE THAT REPRESENTS

THE FOUNDATION THAT Y'ALL BEEN STANDING ON.

SO DOWN IN THERE, THERE'S A LITTLE GIRL.

I WANT YOU TO FIND HER.

AND OVER HERE SOMEWHERE, THERE'S A LITTLE BOY.

I WANT YOU TO FIND HIM.

GO DOWN AND SEARCH FOR IT?

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

YOU GOT TWO HANDS. YOU GOT TWO FEET.

THERE'S A BOY IN THERE. THERE'S A GIRL IN THERE.

FIND IT.

AND YOU, MR. DWIGHT, ARE DOING WHAT?

OH, YOU SAID --

THERE'S A LITTLE BOY DOWN IN THERE.

I WANT YOU TO FIND HIM.

YEP, THERE YOU GO. LOOK AT THAT.

SO THAT'S THE TWO OF YOU COMING TOGETHER

TO BEGIN TO PUT TOGETHER A WHOLE NEW FOUNDATION.

SO, MR. DWIGHT, I WANT YOU TO TAKE THAT END,

AND, MISS THELISHA, I WANT YOU TO TAKE THAT END.

YEAH.

NOW HE HAD SOME EXPERIENCES, RIGHT, MR. DWIGHT,

THAT WEIGHED HEAVY ON YOU, DIDN'T THEY?

YES.

WANT TO TALK ABOUT THEM?

ROUGH TIME, HARD LIFE.

SO WHAT DID HE BRING WITH HIM?

-BAGGAGE. -LIKE WHAT?

THE NEED FOR THE ATTENTION OF A MOTHER.

AND?

THE LACK OF AFFECTION OF A MOTHER.

AND? ANYTHING ELSE?

BEING NEGLECTED.

BEING NEGLECTED.

BUT THAT'S THE WEIGHT HE BROUGHT IN.

WHAT WEIGHT DID SHE BRING IN?

BEING OVERWEIGHT.

BEING OVERWEIGHT.

SO SHE BROUGHT THE WEIGHT IN WITH HER.

SHE DID.

AND BOTH OF YOU, I THINK,

BROUGHT IN A DISCONNECT FROM A FATHER, YEAH?

RIGHT.

AND HOW DID THAT AFFECT YOU?

I DIDN'T KNOW HOW LIFE WENT. I MADE MY OWN RULES.

ALL I SAW WAS A BUNCH OF WOMEN.

YEAH.

AND THEY WERE STRONG AND THEY WERE OPINIONATED.

YEAH. AND WHAT ABOUT YOU?

GUYS THAT I'M RUNNING WITH

WERE MEASURING UP TO EACH OTHER.

SO I'M NOT GETTING MANHOOD.

I'M GETTING CHILDHOOD ALL OVER AGAIN.

MM.

SO THERE'S SOMETHING DOWN IN THERE

WHICH REPRESENTS CHILDHOOD.

I WANT Y'ALL TO FIND IT.

NO, NO. YOU DON'T PUT YOUR FOUNDATION DOWN

'CAUSE YOU TAKE THAT WITH YOU WHEREVER YOU GO.

YOU HAVE TO USE WHAT YOU HAVE

TO DIG DOWN IN THERE AND FIND IT.

BOTH OF YOU.

SOMETHING OVER HERE FOR CHILDHOOD?

YEAH, MM-HMM. YEAH.

YEAH, THAT WOULD BE IT.

[ CHUCKLES ]

WHEN YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN PLAYING AND HAVING FUN,

YOU WAS OUT THERE

DOING ALL MANNER OF WONDERFULNESS.

AND THEN THE TWO OF Y'ALL COME TOGETHER.

NOT SOUL MATES, BUT WOUND MATES.

THERE'S SOMETHING DOWN THERE IN THAT DIRT

THAT REPRESENTS THAT.

I WANT YOU TO DIG DOWN IN THERE AND FIND IT.

THESE TWO SOULS WERE WOUNDED

LONG BEFORE THEY EVER MET EACH OTHER,

AND THESE ITEMS ARE REPRESENTATIONS OF THEIR PAST.

THE MIRROR IS REMINDING THELISHA

OF THE FAT, UNATTRACTIVE YOUNG WOMAN SHE IDENTIFIED WITH,

AND THE NIGHTGOWN REPRESENTS

THE PIECE OF HERSELF THAT YOUNG WOMAN GAVE AWAY.

AS FOR MR. DWIGHT, IT'S A COFFIN THAT REPRESENTS

THE EFFECT THE DEATH OF HIS FATHER HAD ON HIM.

UH-HUH.

AND WHAT IS THAT, MISS THELISHA?

WHAT'S THAT?

-IT'S A SCALE. -[ LAUGHS ]

AND WHAT DOES THAT REPRESENT?

SOME WEIGHT THAT I'VE SHED.

YEAH.

THE PERSON I'VE BECOME.

YOU BROUGHT THAT IN.

WOW. NOW, WHAT IS THAT, MR. DWIGHT?

WHAT IS THAT?

LOOKS LIKE SOME KIND OF LOCK.

HUH, A LOCK. ANYTHING, LIKE, LOCKED UP?

EVER HAD THAT EXPERIENCE?

YES.

YEAH? LET'S TALK ABOUT THAT.

I WAS INCARCERATED.

OH. SO, WHAT HAPPENED?

I WAS SELLING.

CAUGHT WITH SOME ILLEGAL NARCOTICS.

OKAY. NOW, WHAT'S YOUR EXPERIENCE WITH BEING LOCKED UP?

MY FATHER WAS IN PRISON.

OH, YOUR FATHER WAS IN PRISON.

YEAH.

AND I HAD TO, UM, VISIT HIM, INCARCERATED.

I VOWED TO MYSELF

THAT I WOULD NOT GO THROUGH THAT,

BUT I ENDED UP WITH THAT.

WITH WHAT?

GOING TO PRISON TO VISIT.

VISIT WHO?

MY HUSBAND, DWIGHT.

NO. 'CAUSE I AIN'T BEEN IN NOBODY'S PRISON.

-JAIL. -OKAY, THAT'S DIFFERENT.

WERE YOU LOCKED UP?

I WAS INCARCERATED.

DID YOUR WIFE HAVE TO BE SEARCHED

TO COME IN TO SPEAK TO YOU?

IT'S NOT EVEN IMPORTANT TO ME WHETHER SHE WAS SEARCHED OR NOT.

KEEP DIGGING.

AS THEY CONTINUE TO SORT THROUGH THEIR DIRT,

MORE SYMBOLS OF THEIR DESTRUCTIVE PATTERNS

ARE BEGINNING TO SURFACE.

FOR DWIGHT, HE FINDS RUNNING SHOES,

WHICH REPRESENT HIS TENDENCY

TO RUN AWAY FROM UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS,

AND A CRUTCH,

WHICH REPRESENTS HIS DEPENDENCY ON DRUGS AND ALCOHOL.

NO, NO.

YOU HAVE YOUR BAGGAGE,

'CAUSE I'M SURE THAT YOU HAVE YOUR WAY

THAT YOU BEAT UP ON HIM.

THELISHA IS HAVING A PROBLEM FINDING HER BAT,

WHICH IS A REPRESENTATION OF HOW SHE TENDS TO BEAT UP ON HIM.

BECAUSE UP UNTIL NOW,

WE'VE BEEN FOCUSING MOSTLY ON DWIGHT'S SHORTCOMINGS,

AND IT'S TIME TO SHED A LITTLE LIGHT

ON HOW MISS THELISHA HAS CONTRIBUTED

TO THE BREAKDOWN OF THEIR FAMILY LIFE.

I NEED --

YOU NEED WHAT? ASK FOR WHAT YOU NEED.

-WHAT DO YOU NEED? -I NEED SOME HELP.

I'M GONNA GET YOU SOME RIGHT NOW.

WAIT HERE. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

I'M GONNA GET YOU SOME HELP. I'M GONNA GET YOU SOME HELP.

HOPEFULLY, IT'S BEGINNING TO DAWN ON DWIGHT AND THELISHA

JUST HOW INAPPROPRIATE THEIR BEHAVIOR HAS BEEN

BY INVITING THEIR CHILDREN INTO THEIR MARITAL DYSFUNCTION.

COME HERE. YOUR MAMA NEEDS SOME HELP.

INSTEAD OF THESE YOUNG WOMEN GROWING AND THRIVING,

THEY'VE BEEN BURDENED BY THE WEIGHT AND RESPONSIBILITY

OF CARRYING THEIR PARENTS' BAGGAGE.

THE NEXT DEMONSTRATION SHOULD BE THE WAKE-UP CALL

DWIGHT AND THELISHA HAVE BEEN NEEDING FOR SO LONG.

THIS IS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE.

THEN YOU DECIDE THAT YOU'RE GOING OFF.

SO WHY DON'T YOU DO THAT? GO ON.

YOU COME ON OFF. I TELL YOU WHAT --

NO, YEAH. YOU FIGURE OUT HOW TO CARRY YOUR END AND HIS END.

Y'ALL MOVE THIS WAY. YEAH.

'CAUSE THAT MEANS YOU HAVE TO HOLD IT UP.

YEAH.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

WHEN HE'S GONE, DON'T YOU PICK UP HIS SLACK?

SO YOU COME ON OVER HERE AND GET THIS.

NO, NO. YOU GOT TO HOLD --

NO, NO. YOU -- GIVE HER HIS END.

OH, YEAH. THAT'S WHAT IT LOOK LIKE.

NOW YOU GO ON DOWN THERE ON YOUR END.

GO ON.

WHEN YOU SEE YOUR WIFE AND YOUR DAUGHTERS

STANDING ON THE FOUNDATION

THAT YOU AS A MAN BUILT FOR THEM --

YOU BUILT THAT.

HOW DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL

WHEN YOU SEE THAT MAN YOU LAID WITH AND MADE THESE BABIES

NEVER PICKED UP THE HAND TO HELP YOU?

-HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL? -ANGRY.

YEAH. THIS IS HOW Y'ALL HAVE BEEN LIVING.

AND YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO FEEL IT AND TALK ABOUT IT

AND TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

REMEMBER, I TOLD YOU YESTERDAY --

YOUR LIFE AS YOU KNOW IT IS OVER.

THAT MEANS YOU DROP ALL OF THAT. JUST DROP IT.

SO, MR. DWIGHT AND MISS THELISHA,

WE NEED TO HAVE A CONVERSATION.

A GROWN-FOLK CONVERSATION. OKAY?

IT'S ABSOLUTELY NO ACCIDENT

THAT MISS THELISHA CANNOT FIND HER BAT,

BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT SHE DOES.

SHE HIDES HER RAGE.

AND IT'S THAT THAT INFURIATES MR. DWIGHT.

ALTHOUGH IT'S HARD TO LOOK AT,

I DO UNDERSTAND MR. DWIGHT'S TOTAL SHUTDOWN IN THIS MOMENT

BECAUSE SOMETIMES WHEN YOU SEE YOUR STUFF LAID OUT BEFORE YOU,

IT IS VERY, VERY DIFFICULT TO OWN IT.

HE CAN'T OWN THIS.

COMING UP...

LET'S JUST GO THERE.

DO YOU TWO EVEN WANT TO BE TOGETHER?

WHEN YOU SAY YOU AIN'T GONNA DO IT AGAIN,

I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH DEPRESSION TURNED UP,

DON'T DO IT AGAIN.

BECAUSE WHEN YOU WANT ME TO BE A WIFE,

YOU WANT GOD RIGHT THERE WITH ME.

WHY IS HE NOT WITH YOU?

ARE Y'ALL TALKING TO EACH OTHER?

I'M MAKING AN EFFORT.

WELL, GLORY, GLORY.

'CAUSE I WAS GETTING READY TO BE CONCERNED.

[ LAUGHS ]

COMMUNICATION IS KEY IN ANY RELATIONSHIP,

BUT THELISHA'S TENDENCY TO SHUT DOWN

AND NOT COMMUNICATE HOW SHE'S REALLY FEELING

HAS BEEN A LONG-STANDING ISSUE IN THIS MARRIAGE.

THOUGH DWIGHT'S ISSUES HAVE BEEN AT THE FOREFRONT

OF THE FAMILY'S DYSFUNCTION,

MISS THELISHA IS FAR FROM BLAMELESS

AS A CONTRIBUTOR TO THIS FAMILY'S BREAKDOWN.

IT'S TIME TO EXPLORE HER ROLE IN ALL OF THIS.

DO YOU TWO EVEN WANT TO BE TOGETHER?

LET'S JUST CUT TO THE CHASE. LET'S JUST GO THERE.

YEAH.

-EXCUSE ME? -YES.

-NOT WITH ALL THE BAGGAGE. -NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

'CAUSE, SEE, WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS,

"IF THIS CHANGES, IF THAT CHANGES,

IF HE DOES THIS, IF HE DOES THAT."

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW YOU'VE CONTRIBUTED

TO THAT MESS OUT IN THE BACKYARD?

YEAH. YEAH. TO BE HONEST, YEAH.

I'M NOT LOOKING AT BLAME. I'M LOOKING AT OWNERSHIP.

LET'S TALK ABOUT IT.

Thelisha: IN OUR CONVERSATION IN THE KITCHEN YESTERDAY,

SHE SHOWED ME A VIVID PICTURE

OF THE THINGS THAT I DID TO WOUND YOU.

SO I KNOW THE THINGS THAT I HAVE DONE.

AND EVEN THAT OUT THERE,

THAT DEMONSTRATION WITH THE DIRT,

SHOWED ME THE THINGS

THAT I KNOW YOU TRIED TO TELL ME YEARS AGO,

WHAT I WAS DOING TO THE KIDS,

BUT IT REALLY SHOWED ME WHAT I HAVE DONE.

I DON'T COMMUNICATE

BECAUSE WHEN I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU HOW I FEEL,

IT FEELS LIKE YOU DON'T LISTEN TO ME.

ARE YOU OPEN TO RECEIVE SOME FEEDBACK

ABOUT MY EXPERIENCE OF YOU?

-SURE. -YEAH.

MY EXPERIENCE OF YOU IS

THAT WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS YOU SOMETHING

THAT EITHER YOU'RE IN RESISTANCE TO, DENIAL OF,

OR THAT YOU CAN'T RECEIVE,

WHAT YOU DO IS THEN YOU TURN THE CONVERSATION

AND MAKE THE OTHER PERSON WRONG.

AND WHAT I KNOW THAT TO BE IS

THAT YOU SET IT UP IN A WAY

WHERE PEOPLE WILL NOT TELL YOU THE TRUTH.

I'M SORRY YOU FEEL THAT WAY.

-I'M SORRY, BUT -- -YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SORRY.

I'M JUST SHARING MY EXPERIENCE.

-DO YOU TRUST HIM? -MNH-MNH.

DO YOU TRUST HER? NO.

AND THIS IS WHAT LETS ME KNOW THIS THING HERE IS DONE.

IT'S DONE.

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM THIS MAN?

TRUTH AND HONESTY.

FOR YOU, WHAT DOES TRUTH LOOK LIKE?

THE TRUTH I WANT FROM YOU IS...

THE TRUTH I WANT FROM YOU IS ACCOUNTABILITY, HONESTY.

WHEN YOU SAY YOU AIN'T GONNA DO IT AGAIN,

I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH DEPRESSION TURNED UP,

DON'T DO IT AGAIN.

BECAUSE WHEN YOU WANT ME TO BE A WIFE,

YOU WANT GOD RIGHT THERE WITH ME AT ALL TIMES.

WHY IS HE NOT WITH YOU?

IS THERE SOME TRUTH YOU WANT TO SHARE WITH HER AT THIS TIME?

I GOT SOME TRUTH I WANT TO TELL.

AS FAR AS THE DRUGS, YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT I'M OUT THERE

DOING THE DRUGS AND THE ALCOHOL, SPENDING MONEY.

BUT THERE ARE INFIDELITIES THAT I HAVE HAD OUT THERE.

IS THERE A TRUTH THAT YOU WANT HIM TO KNOW?

[ Voice breaking ] I LIVE IN FEAR EVERY DAY.

BUT I KNOW ONE THING -- I CAN'T TAKE NO MORE HURT.

I CAN'T.

I JUST --

I JUST CANNOT TAKE NO MORE HURT AND PAIN.

I CAN'T DO IT. I JUST CAN'T DO IT.

WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WANT TO ASK OF MISS THELISHA?

I DON'T FEEL LIKE I HAVE A RIGHT TO ASK YOU

TO GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE

UNLESS I TAKE FULL OWNERSHIP.

AND HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?

BY GOING TO REHAB.

I WANT Y'ALL TO TAKE THE TIME YOU NEED

TO GET CLEAR ABOUT THAT STUFF.

YOU DON'T HAVE A LOT OF TIME.

YOU GOT A 17-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER THAT'S IN JEOPARDY.

YOUR BABY GIRL IS IN TROUBLE.

TELL HIM WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A BIG GIRL.

TELL HIM.

YOU OPEN YOUR LEGS QUICKLY BECAUSE HE NOTICES YOU.

YOUR BABY GIRL IS IN TROUBLE. I'M TELLING YOU.

YOU MAY NOT LIKE IT, BUT YOU MAY HAVE TO SWALLOW IT

BECAUSE IF YOU OPPOSE IT, YOU'LL PUSH HER AWAY.

THESE TWO HAVE BEEN AT OPPOSITE ENDS OF THE FAMILY TABLE

FOR FAR TOO LONG.

NOW IT'S TIME TO SET SOME OF THEIR DIFFERENCES ASIDE

SO THEY CAN JOIN FORCES

AND FOCUS ON HOW BEST TO RIGHT THE WRONGS

THEIR BEHAVIOR HAS HAD ON THEIR CHILDREN.

TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

COMING UP... GOOD MORNING!

-WHY, HELLO. -HELLO, MY DARLING.

Dwight: WOW.

WHEN THINGS ARE NOT GOOD WITH TWO OF YOU,

I FEEL LIKE I GET THROWN TO THE WOLVES.

I NEED Y'ALL'S SUPPORT, AND I NEED Y'ALL'S RESPECT.

Iyanla: GOOD MORNING!

-WHY, HELLO. -HELLO, MY DARLING.

COME ON IN.

AH! [ CHUCKLES ]

WELL, HELLO.

MOTHER DEAR.

YOU GONNA HELP YOUR MOTHER DOWN THE STEPS?

Iyanla: I'VE INVITED DWIGHT'S MOTHER INTO THIS CONVERSATION,

BECAUSE SO MANY OF HIS DEEP-SEATED ISSUES

SEEM TO BE STEMMING FROM THEIR LACK OF A RELATIONSHIP.

HOPEFULLY, BRINGING THEM TOGETHER

WILL OPEN UP A WELL-NEEDED CONVERSATION

BETWEEN A WOUNDED SON AND HIS MOTHER.

IF DWIGHT CAN'T GET PAST HIS MOMMY ISSUES, HE'S STUCK.

WHY DID YOU WANT TO BE HERE TODAY?

BECAUSE I DON'T WANT THEM TO BREAK UP.

AS FAR AS I CAN SEE,

AND MAYBE I WAS ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN,

I'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS THE MODEL WIFE, YOU KNOW.

BUT THE PROBLEM IS NOT BETWEEN DWIGHT AND THELISHA.

THEY HAVE THEIR MARRIED PROBLEMS.

DWIGHT'S PROBLEM IS WITH YOU.

I KNOW THAT.

I HAVE APOLOGIZED FOR THE THINGS THAT I'VE DONE TO HIM

THAT HE FELT LIKE WERE WRONG.

DWIGHT, HAVE YOU EVER TOLD YOUR MOTHER

HOW MUCH YOU MISSED HER LOVE AND COMFORT?

Dwight: NO, I HAVEN'T.

WHAT I WANT YOU TO KNOW IS I NEED YOU,

STILL TODAY,

JUST AS I NEEDED YOU AS A KID.

[ Voice breaking ] I STILL NEED YOU.

DWIGHT, PLEASE FORGIVE ME.

IT'S NOT ABOUT AN APOLOGY.

WHAT ARE YOU ASKING OF HER?

I NEED THE AFFECTION OF MY MOTHER.

DWIGHT, I WANT TO BE A MOTHER TO YOU,

BUT YOU GOT TO OPEN THE DOOR AND LET ME.

I TRIED.

I HAVE TRIED EVERY WAY I KNOW HOW

TO LOVE YOU.

AND I SAID -- DWIGHT, I WAS SO HAPPY

WHEN Y'ALL LET ME COME TO THE HOUSE ON CHRISTMAS.

LET YOU COME TO THE HOUSE ON CHRISTMAS?

I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW THEY HAVE CHRISTMAS WITHOUT GRANDMA.

THAT JUST AIN'T RIGHT. SOMETHING WRONG WITH Y'ALL.

THAT'S WHAT'S WRONG WITH Y'ALL.

Y'ALL BE HAVING CHRISTMAS WITHOUT GRANDMA.

THAT'S WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU.

IS THIS A TIME THAT YOU WANT TO TALK TO HER ABOUT THE MONEY

THOSE MANY YEARS AGO

THAT STILL SEEMS TO BE AN ISSUE FOR YOU?

NO.

WHAT'S YOUR UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT YOU DID?

I USED HER CHARGE CARD. YOU DID.

AND DIDN'T PAY IT OFF IMMEDIATELY LIKE I SAID I WAS.

TELL ME WHAT YEAR THAT WAS, PLEASE.

19 YEARS AGO. THAT'S ALL I KNOW.

'97.

HAVE YOU EVER APOLOGIZED TO HER?

NO.

WOULD YOU DO THAT?

I'M SORRY, THELISHA. I AM SO SORRY.

-FORGIVE ME. -PLEASE FORGIVE ME.

-FOR WHAT? -FOR MISUSING YOUR CREDIT.

-I FORGIVE YOU. -AND VIOLATING YOUR TRUST.

AND VIOLATING YOUR TRUST.

'CAUSE I FELT THAT SHE NEVER COULD TRUST ME AGAIN.

Dwight: SHE SAID, TO MY WIFE,

THAT "WELL, IF DWIGHT WOULD HAVE LET ME USE HIS NAME,

THEN YOU WOULDN'T HAVE HAD THAT DEBT.

IT AIN'T MY FAULT. IT'S HIS FAULT."

AND THAT WAS SO CRUSHING. AND I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.

SO I'M NOT HERE COVERING ANYTHING,

AND I REALLY DON'T WANT ANYTHING IN THE UNDERBELLY.

I REALLY DON'T.

DWIGHT, WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE IT BETTER NOW?

I'M NOT GONNA DISCUSS THE SITUATION --

THE CONVERSATION LIKE THAT.

I'M NOT.

YESTERDAY, YOU BROUGHT IT UP.

YOU GAVE ME AN ACCOUNT OF WHAT YOUR MOTHER DID

AND HOW IT AFFECTED YOU AND HOW THAT IMPACTED YOUR MARRIAGE,

AND I SAID TO YOU, "HAVE YOU EVER SAID THAT TO YOUR MOTHER?"

YOU SAID NO. YOU'RE SITTING HERE NOW.

YOUR MOTHER, AN ELDER,

GOT OUT OF HER HOME FROM IN FRONT OF HER SOAP OPERAS

TO COME HERE AND BE WITH YOU,

AND SHE'S ASKING YOU -- HOW CAN SHE MAKE IT BETTER NOW?

WHAT WOULD YOU ASK OF HER?

I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T. I MEAN, HONESTLY, I DON'T --

WELL, THEN SAY THAT TO HER. "I DON'T KNOW IN THIS MOMENT."

I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW IN THIS MOMENT.

CAN YOU GIVE HER YOUR HEART, DWIGHT?

THAT'S WHAT I AM MAKING AN EFFORT TO DO.

YOU WANT TO TELL YOUR MOTHER WHAT YOU'RE GETTING READY TO DO?

IN 48 HOURS...

MM-HMM.

...I'LL BE COMMITTING MYSELF TO A REHABILITATION CENTER.

I HOPE SO.

OH.

LET ME ASK YOU, MR. DWIGHT.

WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE WANTED YOUR MAMA TO SAY?

"I'M HAPPY TO HEAR THAT."

-BUT THAT'S WHAT -- -THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAID.

OKAY. I KNOW I GOT TO WORK ON ME.

-YEAH, YEAH. -AND I DON'T HAVE TACT.

AND -- AND I DON'T HAVE AN EXCUSE.

-YOU'RE GONNA USE A SKILL. -I'M GONNA USE THE SKILL.

Iyanla: I DON'T CARE HOW BIG HE GETS.

THE 7-YEAR-OLD IN HIM

ALWAYS NEEDS ONE OR TWO THINGS --

AFFIRMATION.

"YOU DID GOOD."

APPRECIATION.

"THANK YOU."

OR CORRECTION.

"COME HERE. LET ME TELL YOU WHY YOU CAN'T DO THAT."

OTHERWISE, HE'S GONNA HEAR YOU MAKING HIM WRONG.

AND IF YOU MAKE HIM WRONG,

THE KRYPTONITE TO A MAN'S SOUL...

I AGREE.

...IS DISAPPOINTING HIS MOTHER.

-THOSE ARE SKILLS. -I AGREE.

AND YOU USE THOSE TOOLS.

THAT'S WHAT YOU CAN DO NOW TO REBUILD THIS RELATIONSHIP.

Y'ALL GOT ONE MORE CONVERSATION TO HAVE --

WITH YOUR CHILDREN.

COMING UP...

[ Voice breaking ] I DIDN'T KNOW THAT MY BEHAVIOR

WAS CAUSING YOU GUYS SO MUCH PAIN.

I WOULD NEVER HAVE INTENTIONALLY DONE THIS.

I ASK YOU TO PLEASE FORGIVE ME.

-HOW Y'ALL DOING? -I'M GOOD.

THIS IS AN OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU

TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH YOUR PARENTS.

AS I TOLD YOU YESTERDAY,

YOUR LIFE AS YOU'VE KNOWN IT -- IT'S OVER.

THE FAMILY AS YOU'VE KNOWN IT IS OVER.

NOW, WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE GOING ON, I CAN'T TELL YOU.

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO CREATE.

BUT IT STARTS WITH THESE TWO RIGHT HERE.

AGAIN, COMMUNICATION SEEMS TO BE AN ISSUE

WITH THIS ENTIRE FAMILY,

SO IT IS MY INTENTION TO PUT THEM IN FRONT OF EACH OTHER

IN A SAFE SPACE

SO THEY CAN OPEN UP AND SPEAK THEIR PAIN

TO THE PARTIES WHO MOST NEED TO HEAR IT.

I JUST HOPE EVERYONE IS HONEST, OPEN, AND RECEPTIVE

TO WHAT'S ABOUT TO BE SAID.

SO, MISS LAKESHA,

USE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO CLEAR THE DECK FOR YOURSELF.

DADDY...

SOMETIMES YOU HURT ME, AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

LIKE, WHY DID YOU, LIKE, LEAVE

AT CERTAIN TIMES YOU DID WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING?

AND I WISH YOU WOULD HAVE CAME AND TALKED TO ME ABOUT IT.

DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING YOU NEED TO SHARE WITH YOUR MOM?

NO.

YOU DON'T WANT TO TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL?

NOTHING? YOU SURE?

BUT YOU DO FEEL. YOU JUST DON'T WANT TO TELL HER.

YEAH.

OKAY.

MISS AVANT.

WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SAY, AND TO WHOM?

Avant: I'LL START WITH MY MOM.

[ Voice breaking ] WHEN IT CAME DOWN

TO ME AND DADDY AND OUR RELATIONSHIP,

I JUST FELT LIKE YOU JUST DIDN'T PROTECT ME.

I FELT LIKE YOU DIDN'T STAND UP FOR ME.

WHEN THINGS ARE NOT GOOD WITH TWO OF YOU,

I FEEL LIKE OUR BOND, YOU KNOW, IT'S SUPER STRONG.

YOU KNOW? WE'RE FINE. EVERYTHING IS FINE.

BUT WHEN IT'S LIKE THE TWO OF YOU ARE BACK ON THE SAME PAGE,

IT JUST FEELS LIKE I GET THROWN TO THE WOLVES.

AND THEN THE SAME FOR YOU.

I FEEL LIKE WHEN Y'ALL ARE ON BAD TERMS,

YOU'LL CALL ME.

BUT WHEN Y'ALL ARE ON GOOD TERMS,

MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, WE'RE ON BAD TERMS.

I FEEL LIKE YOU FEEL LIKE

WE GANG UP ON YOU WITH OUR FEELINGS SOMETIMES.

AND THAT'S NEVER THE CASE.

I NEVER, EVER WANT TO TURN ANYBODY AGAINST YOU.

I NEED Y'ALL'S SUPPORT, AND I NEED Y'ALL'S RESPECT.

AND LIKE I WAS TELLING MISS IYANLA,

IT AFFECTS ME IN MY RELATIONSHIP

BECAUSE I LASH OUT JUST LIKE YOU,

AND IT'S NOT FAIR TO MY BOYFRIEND

FOR ME TO DO THAT.

WHICH IS WHY I REALLY WANT TO FIX THINGS WITH YOU.

THAT PLAYS A HUGE PART IN MY RELATIONSHIP.

I DO WANT US TO BE IN A PLACE WHERE, MOVING FORWARD,

WE CAN ALL BE ABLE TO SIT DOWN AND TALK TO EACH OTHER.

FROM YOUR MOM, WHAT WOULD YOU ASK OF HER?

I FEEL LIKE SOMETIMES YOU PUT A LOT OF PRESSURE ON ME.

BECAUSE YOU TELL ME ALL THE TIME THAT

"YOU NEED TO DO THIS AND YOU NEED TO DO THAT

AND YOU NEED TO DO THIS AND YOU NEED TO DO THAT."

AND IT'S LIKE I'M GETTING LITTLE DIGS AT ME ALL THE TIME.

"YOU NEED TO DO THIS."

"OH, YOU NEED TO GO BACK TO CHURCH.

YOU NEED TO TAKE YOUR BUTT TO CHURCH ON SUNDAY."

LIKE, THINGS LIKE THAT. LIKE --

WE KNOW I STRUGGLE WITH MY FAITH.

I DON'T NEED A CONSTANT REMINDER.

WHAT WOULD YOU ASK OF YOUR DAD?

DON'T SHUT ME OUT.

I CAN'T DO THIS WITHOUT YOU.

[ SNIFFLES ]

MISS LAKESHA, IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WOULD REQUEST OF YOUR MOM?

JUST THAT WHEN I'M HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH HER,

LIKE, DON'T SHUT ME DOWN.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT SHE MEANS WHEN SHE SAYS YOU SHUT HER DOWN?

YEAH. OKAY.

IS THERE SOMETHING THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO ASK OF YOUR DAD?

I JUST NEED YOU TO TALK TO ME MORE.

SPEND MORE TIME TOGETHER.

AND WHAT DO Y'ALL WANT TO SAY

TO YOUR YOUNG LADY AND YOUR YOUNG ADULT?

FORGIVE ME.

FOR NOT PROTECTING YOU AS I SHOULD HAVE.

FOR EXPOSING YOU TO MY ISSUES,

MY UN-DEALT-WITH ISSUES.

BECAUSE I WAS TRYING TO COPE WITH MY OWN PAIN.

YOU WERE MY FIRST. WE GREW UP TOGETHER.

SO, YEAH, FORGIVE ME FOR YOU BEING MY SISTER

WHEN I DIDN'T HAVE NOBODY TO TALK TO.

FORGIVE ME.

FORGIVE ME FOR LAYING THE PAIN ON YOU.

I'M SORRY.

[ CRYING ]

ARE YOU GOOD, MISS AVANT?

YOU SURE? OKAY. ANYTHING ELSE

YOU WANT TO SAY TO THEM?

I DO HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU ALL.

AND I REALLY JUST HOPE THAT YOU JUST ACCEPT IT

AND JUST RESPECT ME FOR BEING AN ADULT.

JUST IN YOUR MAJESTY, YOU'RE GONNA SPEAK IT.

I AM...

Avant: I DO HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU ALL.

AND I REALLY JUST HOPE THAT YOU JUST ACCEPT IT

AND JUST RESPECT ME FOR BEING AN ADULT.

JUST IN YOUR MAJESTY, YOU'RE GONNA SPEAK IT.

I AM MOVING OUT,

AND I AM MOVING IN WITH MY BOYFRIEND.

AND I WOULD LIKE FOR YOU ALL TO BE ABLE TO COME TO MY HOUSE

AND NOT HAVE A PROBLEM,

AND I WOULD LIKE FOR YOU ALL TO COME OVER

AND NOT FEEL AWKWARD.

I WOULD LIKE TO NOT FEEL AWKWARD.

I KNOW THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU ALL WANTED FOR ME.

BUT I BELIEVE THAT THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO DO.

[ SNIFFLING ]

I'M SORRY.

[ CRYING ]

I'M SORRY. PLEASE FORGIVE ME.

AND EVEN THOUGH I DO NOT AGREE WITH YOU MOVING OUT,

I WILL SUPPORT YOU.

MAMA? MAMA?

LET GRANDMA HOLD THE BABY FOR A MINUTE.

AND YOU GO OVER THERE TO THE BABY GIRL.

KESHA...

STAND UP.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE MY GIRL.

BUT I DIDN'T PROTECT YOU, EITHER.

FORGIVE ME FOR STANDING UP AND NOT BEING A MOTHER TO YOU.

TEACHING YOU WHAT YOU NEEDED.

I LOVE YOU.

BE PATIENT WITH ME.

SO THAT I CAN BE WHAT YOU NEED ME TO BE

BEFORE YOU GO OFF AND MAKE ANY BAD DECISIONS.

I WILL OPEN UP AND TALK TO YOU

AND MAKE MYSELF AVAILABLE AS I HAVE NOT IN THE PAST.

AND I WILL BE OPEN

TO HEAR THE THINGS THAT I DON'T EVEN WANT TO HEAR

BUT THE THINGS I NEED TO HEAR THE MOST.

ALWAYS KNOW I LOVE YOU ALL THE SAME.

AND I'LL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU.

NO MATTER WHAT.

-DO YOU FORGIVE ME? -YEAH.

-I LOVE YOU, KESHA. -YOU, TOO.

[ SIGHS ]

SO, MR. DWIGHT, WHAT DO YOU NEED TO SAY

TO YOUR BABY GIRL OVER THERE?

[ SNIFFLES ]

I APOLOGIZE.

IT'S IMPORTANT TO ME THAT YOU UNDERSTAND, KESHA,

I WAS UNAWARE OF MY ACTIONS

AND HOW IT WAS AFFECTING YOU.

BUT IT'S VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU KNOW

IT WAS NEVER INTENDED FOR ME TO ABANDON YOU

OR TO LET YOU DOWN.

'CAUSE I LOVE YOU.

[ SNIFFLES ]

Iyanla: DADDY. [ CHUCKLES ]

I LOVE YOU.

[ LAUGHS ]

YOU GO. IT'S ALL RIGHT.

IT WAS NEVER MY INTENT.

I DIDN'T KNOW THAT MY BEHAVIOR

WAS CAUSING YOU GUYS SO MUCH PAIN.

I WOULD NEVER HAVE INTENTIONALLY DONE THIS.

[ SNIFFLES ]

BUT IT'S VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU BELIEVE

THAT I AM TOTALLY AWARE OF THE HURT THAT I'VE INFLICTED

UPON YOU AND YOUR SISTER.

I ASK YOU TO PLEASE FORGIVE ME.

[ SNIFFLES ]

I LET YOU DOWN.

IT'S SO IMPORTANT THAT YOU UNDERSTAND.

Avant: THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

FOR?

-[ SNIFFLES ] -GET YOUR BABY.

I WANT YOU TO BE REAL CLEAR ABOUT WHAT NUMB LOOKS LIKE.

-I SEE IT. -YOU SEE IT?

IS IT HEARTBREAKING?

YEAH.

THAT'S WHAT I FOUND WHEN I MET YOU YESTERDAY.

I WANT YOU TO BE REAL CLEAR ABOUT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE.

I WANT YOU TO TELL YOUR DAUGHTERS

WHAT'S GETTING READY TO HAPPEN WITH YOU

AND FOR YOU AND FOR YOUR FAMILY.

THE LIFE THAT YOU USED TO KNOW WITH YOUR FATHER IS NO MORE.

THANKS TO IYANLA,

I'M GOING TO A REHABILITATION CENTER

AND GET THE HELP THAT I NEED,

THAT I MAY BE ABLE TO FULFILL

THE COMMITMENT THAT I'M MAKING TO YOU ALL TODAY.

SO...

YOUR DAD'S GONNA GO INTO REHAB.

TANGU, INC. RIGHT HERE IN ATLANTA --

THEY'RE GONNA GIVE HIM 30 DAYS AT NO COST.

Iyanla: THIS FAMILY HAS BEEN IN A STATE OF TURMOIL

FOR A LONG, LONG TIME.

BUT NOW THAT THERE IS A PLAN IN PLACE,

I FEEL LIKE MY WORK HERE IS DONE.

BUT THEIR WORK IS JUST BEGINNING.

WHAT THEY HAVE TO DO NOW

IS TAKE EVERYTHING THAT THEY'VE HEARD AND SAW AND FELT

AND MAKE A COMMITMENT TO DO SOMETHING NEW.

SOMETHING THAT WILL GROW YOU, HEAL YOU.

AND THEN THAT WAY, YOU'LL FIX YOUR OWN LIFE.

The Description of Full Episode: "Fix My Broken Family, Part 2 (Ep. 407)" | Iyanla: Fix My Life | Oprah Winfrey Network