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All right, ladies.

And Michael.

The Willie T. Ribbs Racer Cheerleaders

are about perfection, hard work, sweat, tears...

and pain.

If you can't take a five-story fall...

( echoing ): and bounce right up...

you better bounce out of here now.

( distressed murmuring )

Dang, can't you all take a joke?

Dijonay, can we just get on with it?

Look, if anyone doesn't like the way I'm running this tryout

you can break now.

( murmuring )

Dang, can't any of y'all take a joke?

Now, the Racers only need one more body on the squad

and it has to fit

into this uniform.

( all laughing )

Oh, now you all got a sense of humor.

Well, I'm not joking

because this is the last uniform we've got.

Okay, let's do this.

Uh, go, go, go, Ribbs Racers.

Yay!

Next.

Racers spread peace.

Racers spread love.

Racers spread happiness.

Come on, everybody.

Cheer for the Racers. Whoo!

Next.

U-G-L-Y

You ain't got no alibi

You ugly, uh, uh

You ugly, uh, uh. ♪

Next.

We're not here to do some stupid cheer

So just empty your pockets

And put the money in here

Now! ♪

Dang, they got us again.

Who invited them, anyway?

The Proud Family

What? ♪

You and me will always be tight

Family, every single day and night

Even when you start acting like a fool

You know I'm loving every single thing you do

I know that I can always be myself

I love you more than anybody else

And every day as I'm heading off to school

You know there's no one I love as much as you

Family, a family

Proud Family

They'll make you scream

( doorbell rings )

They'll make you want to sing

It's a family thing, a family

Proud, Proud Family

The Proud Family

They'll push your buttons

And make you want to hug them

Family, a family, ♪ Proud, Proud Family. ♪

BOY: Yo, this is Sticky Webb

with the next episode of The Racer's Edge.

Today's hot topic:

Is it true that homie-ism has infected

the Willie T. Ribbs Middle School tryouts?

Let's watch.

If you're not a winner, you better go home

♪ 'Cause I'm Penny Proud, I'm cute and I'm loud

And I got it going on. ♪

What she's really trying to say is

"If you're not a friend of Dijonay

you'd best be on your way."

That's my girl.

And I think we got a wi--

Is this the tryouts for the Racers?

Sorry, but the tryouts are...

Lacienega?

Dijonay?

Who's that?

Mm-mmm.

Are the tryouts still open?

Yeah, girl, come on.

Who was that?

Lacienega?

We go back all the way to the sandbox.

But you just said I was the winner.

No. I said, we had "a wi--."

Relax, you're in.

I'm just doing an old friend a favor.

She's not going to beat you.

Racers to the left.

Racers to the right.

Racers up the middle.

Fight, fight, fight.

Wow!

She's worse than me.

See? You have nothing to worry about.

Let's do this for real.

( techno song plays )

Are you ready? ♪

( song ends )

( cheering )

( whispering )

This is Sticky Webb at the cheerleader tryouts.

The votes have been counted, recounted and counted again.

And we still don't have a winner.

Is this any kind of way to pick a cheerleader?

It's certainly not the way

you pick your friend.

Relax, Penny. You were great.

And besides, no one is tighter than you and Dijonay.

You're a shoo-in.

LACIENEGA: She's right, you know?

You were great. I was terrible.

Are you kidding? You were fantastic!

I've never seen moves like that before.

There's no way you're not going to...

Uh... I-I think I hear

somebody calling me.

I hate to admit it

but tree girl has got a point.

You think so?

I know so

Ms "I'm cute, I'm loud, I'm Penny Pathetic"!

Oh, you were good...

if you were trying out for the circus freak show.

And the jury's back, with the decision.

All right, ladies...

and Michael, we have a tie.

Between me and who?

Calm down, ugly boy, and let me finish.

It's between my girl, Penny Proud

and my other girl, Lacienega Boulevardez.

So, who made the squad?

Well, since I am captain, I make the final decision.

And I've decided...

( drumroll )

...to have a cheer-off!

Wow, guess you two aren't that tight

after all, are you?

( cooing )

You need help?

No, I got this.

Stay still, BeBe.

( tires screech )

Honey, get over here! They're here!

Oscar, get away from there.

Those people are going to think we're nosy neighbors.

Trudy, people who move in the middle of the day

want you to be nosy.

so they can show off all their stuff.

And wow, check out the wife.

( clears throat )

I mean, the wide-screen TV.

Whoo-whee!

One of our neighbors sure is ugly.

Good guga muga!

Who are you calling ugly?

Standing there with a face

only a mother could love.

And I don't.

That's cold, Mama.

The truth hurts, boy.

Trudy? I was just next door talking to the family moving in.

I think I just met Caesar Romero.

Mama, Caesar Romero's dead.

Shoot, I know dead when I see it.

Heck, I'm darn near dead myself.

But that man made me feel things I haven't felt since I was...

Mama, please... stop!

Well, Sugar Mama!

Why don't you two try and get together?

We are, tonight. I invited them over for dinner.

Here?

"Them" who?

The new neighbors.

The Boulevardez Family.

Boulevardez?

Oh, no.

No way. This cannot be.

Penny, what is your problem?

Who are you talking about?

Lacienega Boulevardez.

I can't stand her.

Excuse me, young lady?

I'm sorry, Mom

but I'm competing with Lacienega

for the last spot on the cheerleading squad

and she's really mean to me.

Plus, she's acting like she's Dijonay's best friend

and everybody knows Dijonay and I are best friends.

Anyway, it's just not fair.

I told you to ditch that Dijonay a long time ago.

Maybe if you get to know her better

you two just might become good friends.

Doubting it.

Well, I know one thing.

We won't be having company with people who have

a bigger TV than ours.

Be right back, honey.

May I leave, too?

No. I'm going to need some help getting dinner ready.

But, Mom, I don't want to...

That's enough.

You're going to help me, and when our guests arrive

you're going to be on your best behavior.

Understood?

Yes, Mama.

( grunting )

Oscar, what is that?

It's the new, 84-inch Man's Screen 8000, fully equipped

with a satellite dish and pizza-maker.

It's got everything a guy needs to watch TV.

Big deal. You'll still fall asleep on the couch watching it.

Not anymore.

I love this thing.

( doorbell ringing )

Penny! Suga Mama!

Company's here.

Okay, I'm coming!

( toilet flushing )

( dog whining )

Oh, stop acting a fool.

Who left this open?

( shrieks )

Welcome, everyone.

I'm Trudy Proud, and this is my husband...

Oscar Proud

owner of Proud Snacks.

Oh, you're the guy.

Felix Boulevardez--

Boulevardez Construction.

We use your snacks as landfill.

This is my wife, Sunset, my daughter LaCienega

and my pops, Papi.

TRUDY: And you already know Suga Mama.

( growling )

( speaking Spanish )

Child, I don't know what you said

but you sure put a smile on my face.

I brought Penny a present, Mrs. Proud.

Where is she?

Penny!

Get your behind down here.

I'm down.

So, Felix

I saw them bring in your big screen.

What is that little beauty, an 80-inch?

Yeah, yeah, it is but...

but this is my daughter's television.

I watch my TV in a home theater.

Wow.

Want to check it out?

Can I?

Hey!

Hey, Oscar!

Come in here and fix this thing.

Me and Cesar want to watch wrestling.

( laughing )

So after I pulled him over

I told Felix he had a choice

of walking the line or walking down the aisle.

And he went for that?

I'm a cop and I'm strapped.

Mrs. Proud, this smells so good.

What is it?

It's chitlins.

So, LaCienega, I hear you and Penny

are trying out for cheerleaders.

I know I'm not going to make it.

Penny is much better than I am.

I'm just honored to be mentioned

in the same breath as Penny.

Oh, my.

You have the Ultra Megatron

HDTV with the P-In-P and the DVD.

I'm in L-U-V.

Oh, no, no, no.

Now you're about to fall in love.

( boxing bell rings )

( boxing bell rings )

This is great.

When I want to get away

I tell my wife I'm going on a business trip.

I double back and I kick it right here.

Really? How do you get away with that?

Well, this baby is soundproof.

Nothing gets out, and nothing gets in.

TRUDY: Oscar! Felix! Dinner's ready!

Except my wife.

Felix, it was great meeting you.

We'll have to take that trip

we talked about earlier.

What trip?

Uh, the camping trip.

You know, the one during the weekend

of the big boxing match.

Oh, yeah. Sure.

So you're coming

to our women's self-defense class

next week, right?

Keep Oscar in his place.

You bet.

Dinner was delicious, Mrs. Proud,

and your house is beautiful.

Oh, why, thank you, LaCienega.

Hey, Penny, now that we're neighbors

I guess we'll be hanging out together.

That would be... not happening.

Kidding.

That would be fun.

( speaking Spanish )

Ooh, Oscar, your new stepdaddy sure can talk.

I don't understand what you were talking about, Penny.

LaCienega seems like a very nice girl

and she really seemed to like you.

She was playing us, Mom.

Oh, just give her a chance, baby.

She seems to be trying.

Why can't you?

Okay, Mom, I'll try.

You better

because Felix Boulevardez

is the best thing that ever to happened to me

and if you mess that up, I swear I'll...

( clearing throat )

I mean, listen to your mother.

Hey, LaCienega.

Look, maybe we got off on the wrong foot.

I'm really sorry.

Let's be cool, okay?

Save it, cornball.

I'm already cool by myself

and your house stinks.

Hey, guys, I've saved seats for you.

Penny, why don't you sit with us, too?

I don't think so.

I'd rather sit with the Gross sisters

than sit with you.

Come on, Sticky.

Wait a minute, Penny.

Let's think about this.

The Gross sisters are...

Well, well, they're gross.

Come on!

What has gotten into that girl?

I don't know.

I was just trying to be nice to her.

Maybe she's not getting enough roughage.

Come on, Penny, don't.

Sit, Sticky.

( loud crunching )

You know, you got guts coming over here, but it's cool.

I mean, just because we take your money

doesn't mean we don't have feelings.

Speaking of which....

Uh, why are we paying

to be with people we don't like

when we can be with people we do like for free?

Because I don't like LaCienega.

She's turning my best friend against me.

I wish she would just go away.

Oh, really?

She didn't mean that.

That was just a figure of speech.

I do mean it.

I wish I never had to look at her ever again.

As in, you would never want

anything bad to happen to her, right?

I just wish she wasn't around ruining my life.

I can't eat, you guys. I'm out.

I've got to get ready for the cheer off. Woo-woo.

Where you going, three eyes?

I like that big-head girl.

You know, we ought to help her out

and I got an idea.

Oscar, where are you going?

Camping with Felix.

We're going to do that male bonding thing.

So what is this for?

You're taking a TV schedule for reading?

Oh, I don't read it, I just look at the pictures.

Tell her, Mama.

Oh, yeah, the boy's simple.

Well, I got to run.

I'm going to miss the big bout--

I mean, uh, going to fish for the big trout. Bye.

( cooing )

No, you can't go with Daddy.

When I get back

I'll take you fishing in the sink.

( giggling )

Trudy!

Come on, babies.

Let's go play with your daddy's new TV.

What's the long face for?

I'm going to make the cheerleading squad.

Oh, why not? What happened?

Dijonay, my so-called best friend

is selling me out for LaCienega.

Stop all that whining, girl.

Your name is Proud, not Punk.

Now, if you want to win that cheerleading thing

you need a gimmick.

You know anything about twirling?

What?

Just watch what I do with my cane.

A few moves like this

and I guarantee you'll win.

The trick is to never...

( plunk )

drop your baton.

Get up, Puff, and find my cane.

Yay! Yay!

Dada! Dada!

Daddy?

Where's Daddy?

Yo, Penny

you better check your girls.

The Gross Sisters are straight trippin'.

What are you talking about, Sticky?

The Gross Sisters.

The three big ashy girls.

They're going to ruin LaCienega's cheer.

Good.

No, not good.

They're going to straight jack her.

And it's all because of you.

Me? I didn't tell them to do anything.

But they think you did.

And you're the only one that can squash this.

Please, they just talking mess.

Oh, yeah?

Well, peep this.

I programmed my pager to pick up a signal

from the government spy satellite.

Why?

Because I got it like that.

Wow.

What are they going to do?

They're going to make LaCienega look fly...

but it's not going to be pretty

if you know what I mean.

What are you talking about, Sticky?

The Gross Sisters turned the entire stage into a giant CD

and when they hit play

I believe LaCienega's going to be singing

"I Believe I Can Fly."

The Gross Sisters did this by themselves?

Are you kidding?

I'm the one who came up with the flying dish idea.

Do you know how long it took me to calculate

the critical velocities...

Sticky!

Look, Penny, the Gross Sisters

held me captive for the past two days.

You have no idea

what they did to me in there.

I'll never be the same.

But forget about me.

You got to stop this madness

before LaCienega lands on La Luna.

Penny!

Okay, okay.

Well, it's all taken care of, Penny.

LaCienega won't be saying any cheers today.

You guys, what are you doing?

We just helping you out.

You got me all wrong.

I would never do something like this.

Of course you wouldn't.

This is what we do.

All we have to do is pull this lever

and LaCienega's cheerleading career

will be la history.

Ooh, that's really cool.

I mean, no.

I can't let you do this.

And how do you plan on stopping us?

Oops.

There it is.

We out.

What are we going to do now?

LaCienega, watch out!

No, my scooter!

Get off the stage, LaCienega.

Back up. Wait your turn.

I'm first.

If you don't get off the stage

you're going to be the first cheerleader in outer space.

Are you threatening me, Proud?

I said get off!

No!

Wow, I didn't think it would go that high.

ANNOUNCER: Introducing this year's Willy T. Ribs-- Sparkplugs.

Go Ribs' Racers!

Go Ribs' Racers!

Well, Proud, I guess I really owe you a big thank you

for taking that little spin for me.

It's the least you can do.

Sorry, can't do it.

That's it.

Ow, ow, ow, ow.

That was not right.

She did not have to go there.

Oh, now you get it.

I'm sorry, Penny.

I didn't know she was like that.

The LaCienega I knew was a very nice person

someone you could depend on

someone who...

Was four years old.

But you know what, I'm the one who should be apologizing.

I put a lot of pressure on you.

I felt like I was losing my best friend.

You know I got love for you, girl.

You'll always be my best friend.

Really?

Know that.

So we still cool?

Like the other side of the pillow.

( both laugh )

So, Dijonay, let me ask you something.

Sure, girlfriend, anything.

If I wasn't hurt, who would you have picked?

Me or LaCienega?

Uh... honestly?

Honestly.

For real?

For real, for real.

For really, really, for real, for real?

Dijonay!

( bell rings )

Camping.

Does it get any better than this, my friend?

No kids, no noise and the best part:

no nagging wife.

Pass the popcorn.

Thank you, Trudy.

Trudy!

Sunset?

Camping trip, huh?

Nagging wife, huh?

Baby, I can explain.

We weren't talking about our nagging wives...

Yeah, we were talking about the nagging wives on TV.

FELIX: Sunset, don't do it.

OSCAR: I can explain.

( Sunset speaking Spanish )

FELIX: Not my TV, please.

No! No! Oh!

Not again!

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