- [Cindy] I also love gemstones,
crystals and whatnot.
You need a tourmaline.
- What's a tourmalie?
- [Cindy] What it does is,
it looks like a piece of coal
but when you put it in your pocket,
all the negative energy that goes to you
the stone pushes back against them.
- But I'm doing that naturally.
- Well, that'll help, Gary. (audience applauds)
- What's it called?
A touma, a what?
- [Cindy] Tourmaline.
- I might be a human tourmaline.
- [Cindy] You are but,
- Hey. - Hey.
- [Gary] You've got your perspective.
I just wanna be happy.
Don't you wanna be happy?
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you guys.
Really excited to be here.
So, lot of things to talk about.
And I'm lookin' forward to the Q&A.
So, really the context of what I wanna talk about tonight
through the lens of parents and children.
Obviously, as I get to sit up here
and look around the crowd,
it's a lot of fun to see the mix of the audience
going so high and low
in age group
and it really speaks to a lot of things
that are extremely near and dear to my heart.
What's really interesting
about the day and age that we live in right now
is entrepreneurship is cool.
Entrepreneurship is a viable options.
It's a path that a lot of people are choosing,
aspire to choose
and that is wildly different than what it was
when I was the age of a lot of the youngsters in this room.
Being 43 and growing up in the '80s and '90s
for my school years, kid years,
there really was only one option
which was go to the best college you can
and that is the leverage point to the job.
And I'm sure a lot of people here,
call it 38 and older,
that makes a lot of sense.
That was our framework.
What's interesting about that framework was
so much of my happiness and so much of what I talk about
is predicated on the circumstances of my upbringing
which were quite humble being a Russian immigrant
and going to Queens and Jersey
and really like grinding out that lifestyle.
And number two, just remarkable parenting.
I am completely the byproduct
of really, really great parenting
which, more than anything else, allowed me
to not be suffocated by the fact
that I was an atrocious student
and allowed me to lean into that I had hustle.
It's crazy to me to think back
and think about all the teachers
and all my friends parents
who told me I was gonna be a loser
or I was not gonna be successful
even though I was making $800 a weekend
as a 12 year old slinging baseball cards.
And I guess in a lot of ways
there's a lot of things I wanna touch on tonight,
including the reverse of everything I'm saying.
I think one of my great fears currently
is that entrepreneurship is cool
and it is a viable option
and I believe that 90% of the people
that sit in here and think they're gonna be an entrepreneur
are not gonna be successful at it
'cause it's ridiculously hard.
And not that I wanna say that to crush a dream.
I wanna say it to give people permission to fail
and then to adjust once they get older
or even for the parents in here
who decide to start an entrepreneurial career
instead of a job
and when it fails,
I really am scared that entrepreneurship
takes the place of a Harvard degree that I grew up with.
There is no exact right way of anything.
if there's anything that I wanna get across tonight
You need to figure out who you are,
not try to be like somebody else.
And then more importantly,
and in parallel
because I'm gonna jump back and forth
of things that seem like contradictions,
I think one of the things
that we have to really talk about in the business world
and definitely in the parenting world
is actually meaning it
when we say that happiness needs to be the North Star.
I'm outrageously sensitive to the current state
of the human race
and definitely the context I understand,
which is a lot of different cultures
but definitely the American culture,
there's way too much unhappiness in our society
and it's predicated on a lot of different variables
but the biggest one is,
or not the biggest one
but some of the things that dramatically stand out
is over valuing other people's opinions,
The amount of ambition coming out of people's mouth
that does not match the work ethic that they're puttin in
is the funniest thing for me in society.
The amount of people who,
i don't think people understand what they're saying.
It's very hard to be a millionaire.
The top 1% earners in America,
top 1% starts at $430,000 a year.
If you make $430,000 a year in America
you are in the 1% earners in our country,
yet people throw around millionaire
like that's just the beginning
'cause I'm gonna be a billionaire.
And so, tonight,
what I want,
this is fun for me.
Taking advantage of the context of this room,
given kind of this beautiful setting
and this amount of people in it.
I tend to like this kind of environment
much more than some of my bigger speeches
and more than let's say five people.
This is a very sweet spot for me.
And so, I'm excited about tonight.
how are we doing Q$A?
Are we gonna be running mics or we gonna be setting up mics?
Do we know from the back?
Because I might even go to it a little bit earlier
because I have a funny feeling a lot of you know
where I'm gonna go with a lot of this stuff
and I wanna milk as much interaction as possible
and even seeing how you guys are collectively reacting,
I will definitely be doing that.
Are you gonna run mics?
- [Event Staff Member] The host can ask the questions.
- You've got the questions from the audience?
- [Event Staff Member] Yes.
- Can I break the system a little bit and play?
- Of course. - Great.
All right so,
I'll be taking questions.
So, I'm gonna play here a little bit.
I'm gonna talk about a couple more things
but we're gonna go into,
when you ask your question I'm gonna ask you to go loud
and I'll repeat it so everybody hears it
but look, I mean, I think this is a very special time
in the world and I think,
you know, it's really funny,
I always talk about don't be in the middle,
don't be half pregnant.
I pull from opposite directions.
a lot of what is interesting about me
is I see very, very different people
associate with my message,
people that genuinely don't agree
on a single thing politically or socially
because they're hearing different things from me
and I bounce around
and I've been thinking a lot about it.
Parenting philosophy, entrepreneurship philosophy,
obviously political philosophy.
We are pulling further and further apart from each other.
People are pulling in such opposite directions,
yet I feel like there's so many merits
and so many different nuanced points of view
and I just think that we've become so one dimensional
and so absolute.
I think we have to start talking more
about allowing people to change their mind.
I think if we make changing your mind
something that is put on a pedestal
instead of demonized
I think that would really help us.
I talked about recently,
I think I tweeted
and I looked at it very carefully
of how it was interacted with
that changing your mind is the ultimate strength.
You know, it's funny.
I was with my dad the other day.
I would change my mind all the time.
I change my mind all the time now.
And it use to drive my dad crazy.
My dad's super old school and he kinda thinks
like if you said something then that's it for life.
And I just remember that quite a bit
growing up building the business,
the wine store that my dad had
and I helped build to a big level.
He's like, three weeks ago you said
that we had to put liquor in the front.
And I'm like, I changed my mind.
I listened more to the customer.
I tried the liquor in the front.
I don't like what it did.
And I think a lot about that now with my content,
which is why am I so comfortable trying things?
I posted a video yesterday
that was upside down on Instagram.
I don't know how many of you saw it.
And then a couple days earlier I made a video
where I just said like this post like 58 times in a row.
And I've been using this hashtag in the two posts
that you know, always be testing.
And it's really my way to give you a nod
of giving you permission.
The like, like, like video did okay.
The upside down video yesterday did not do well
and that excites me
and I'm excited to spend more time
over the next year or two
of trying things completely left field
to hopefully inspire people to,
what I'm so unbelievably concerned about
for everybody in here who's creating content,
whether on YouTube or Instagram or other places,
is you've become so obsessed
with the number associated with the post
that you're not actually even
putting out anymore what you wanna put out.
You're putting out what you know is gonna work.
And that leads to real insecurity.
There are people still showing way too much skin
'cause they know that does better.
There's people that are flexing when they can't afford to
'cause they know that does better.
There's people regurgitating other people's quotes
'cause they know that does better.
I mean, it just,
it's not working
and it's going to continue to decline in value
and I'm sure if you know anything about me
my number one thesis is producing content
that's scale right now.
It is such an opportunity.
I'm gonna beat this horse til not only is it dead
but it's buried and I throw a bomb on it.
This is the,
for everybody in here who's nowhere close
or not at where they want to be,
it is absolutely the most cost effective way
to start the process to whatever you want.
It is about producing content.
Producing content at scale
for as many platforms as possible.
So many people in this room
could have all the things that they've wanted to happen
on YouTube and on Instagram
for the last three and a half years that has not happened
actually happen if they get serious about Tik Tok
for the next six months.
I'm already seeing it.
How many people here have posted
their first post on Tik Tok in the last two months?
Raise your hands.
How many of you that the hands just put up
actually got a lot of views on a post
that you would have never expected?
It's a high percentage.
And this is what happened on Twitter
and YouTube and Facebook and Instagram in the early days.
And obviously Tik Tok's not early days
'cause it's musically, then reformatted Tik Tok
but the scale of users on it
and the attention it has
is not still filled with enough content.
For all the content that's out there
there's still more attention than there is content,
which is why on day one,
anybody here get real views on their first actual post,
by any chance?
Like some of the people are getting this
and they're like email,
obviously I've been on a,
this is what I do.
If you followed my career or you wanna know,
every one, three, five years I get hot.
I've been analyzing for six months, a month, five months.
I feel firm and I'm ready to cheer lead a new platform
because I think it's cross the chasm of my filter
to saying, okay,
this actually is a good use of your time period.
And so, this is what happens in my career
but I've never seen a platform,
given how it got big
and then got bought and then got big,
I've never seen a platform reward creators
with so much free attention on their first post, ever.
And so, back to a lot of the micro things.
If you leave with anything,
whether you're nine or 99
I think Tik Tok needs to be taken serious
because it has the potential
to be completely mainstream for every age for years now.
It may not.
It may go the route of social camera, Vine.
But if it goes the route of Facebook and Instagram
you're gonna get so much more dividends.
And the other thing.
Everyone's always like, Gary, I don't wanna waste my time.
Or like, I don't have enough time.
The up side is so much greater than the time,
especially if you have a lot of ambition.
Again, this is what continues to baffle me.
Gary, I wanna build something,
I wanna leave my job that I don't like
and I wanna start this side hustle around Star Trek
or soccer or cooking
but I don't have time to post on Tik Tok too.
I just will never be able to figure that out.
Unless you're working
and you're with your family 20 hours a day, 18 hours a day,
you do have time.
You're just not willing to sacrifice the time or the energy
that's needed to actually have a life
that is based on your own terms.
a word that I have not used historically
that I'm starting to use
I'm fascinated by people's inability to sacrifice luxuries.
Gary, I don't have money
but I buy $7 Starbucks.
You don't need a $7 coffee.
You don't need a $12 scrunchie.
Like you don't need a $80 hoodie.
You don't need it.
You're more than welcome to have it
but please don't come to me and cry
that you don't have money for Facebook ads
when you buy dumb shit.
And so, I think about that.
I think about it a lot.
And so, these are the themes that I'm thinking about.
I think it's never ever, ever, ever been a better time
to build a business or to build something for yourself
than right this second.
It has never existed.
This is the,
right now as we're in here,
this is the single best time ever
because the internet continues to grow in its scale,
which means nobody's actually stopping you.
The internet's the offset to bad behavior by humans.
There's no gatekeeper.
There's nobody who's making a prejudiced decision,
a sexist decision.
Nobody's stopping you from creating,
signing an account on Tik Tok or LinkedIn
or Facebook or YouTube and making.
It really is the great equalizer.
I was havin' a conversation with somebody
over the weekend at the football game
and they're like, man,
it's crazy how many of these female rappers are poppin'.
Meg the Stallion, Cardi.
A lot of them are winning.
I'm like, it's not confusing.
The industry only allowed one woman to be on top
15 years ago when they had control.
Now the internet has control.
There's no confusion.
This was always the way it should have been.
But, and I think we can all agree,
but politically there's this understanding of suppression
and things of that nature.
People are confused.
The internet isn't playing
within the ecosystem that we live.
And so, to me that's inspirational.
It's crazy to me
that we all have these abets.
By the way, you may be confused.
That's my story.
The way I present myself, the way I roll,
the education I had, the way I curse, the ideas I have,
the establishment never believed in them.
No internet, no me.
Wall Street Journal wasn't gonna be writing about me.
And so, I think that if you leave with anything tonight,
that the second you actually truly start realizing
that if you don't have the success you want
that that's you.
The second you actually genuinely stop blaming anything
and the second you start taking on 100 accountability
is the second you start getting happy.
What I'm really excited about,
especially with such a young crowd
is thinking about the young entrepreneurs in here
who I wanna talk to.
To me, the fact that you're even here,
whether you wanted to be here
or you parent dragged you out
is something I think a lot about.
you know, I'm so grateful for entrepreneurship.
One of the things that,
one of the things about starting a YouTube channel
and not having a lot of views
or trying to sell some slime
and only selling zero on your Shopify,
one of the things
that the kids in this room don't understand yet
is that no and losing are their best friends.
I unfortunately, and this is just the truth,
kids in this room, you're growing up in a time
where grown ups wanna stop you
from feeling losses and pain more than ever
we've now lived through 70 years of prosperity
and our parents can actually spend time
worrying about that stuff
instead of putting food on the table.
But not to get too heady here,
for the kids in this room,
the number one thing about starting a business
or tryin' to build a profile
is that you're gonna lose a lot.
A lot of people are gonna leave comments
that you stink and you should stop and you're not good.
You're gonna try to sell something
and nobody's gonna buy it.
I think back to one story I never tell
that I just got inspired to tell in this room,
was I actually sold stuff door to door
a lot more as a kid than I remembered.
I just thought about it the other day.
I use to just find things in my house
that might have not even been mine
and I use to just walk around Edison, New Jersey
(laughs) ringing people's doorbells
and asking them if they wanted to buy it.
Do you wanna buy this weird T-shirt or this pencil?
And when you're selling ridiculous stuff
that nobody wants outside of the one person every 50 homes
that just thought you were a cute kid and gave you $1,
you just got a lot of nos.
And one of the reasons I think so many people are struggling
and are unhappy in they're early 20s
is we're coming into a place
where people are hitting their 20s
that were parented of a generation
that tried to over protect
and I think losing is awesome
'cause you deserved it.
Means somebody was better than you
and that's good for you to know
'cause that's real life.
That's how it's gonna be.
And I think getting somebody to say no is awesome
'cause that's real life.
It doesn't mean you suck.
It means what you tried to do right now didn't work.
And I think that we have to have
a much bigger conversation around that
and I'm happy a lot of you are listening to it right now
because it's very real
'cause I will tell you, kids,
and parents for that matter,
that I sit up here tonight extremely happy
because I was losing so much and got so many nos as a kid.
'Cause now that I'm a grown up,
it doesn't scare me
and unfortunately for a lot of grown ups
it continues to scare them.
They cared about what kids in high school
thought about their dress.
They cared about opinions
and they were over protected
and it made 'em incapable.
I really believe in the zoo animal thing.
We go to the Central Park Bronx Zoo right now
and release those animals into their natural habitat,
they're dead in 10 seconds.
And I think we have to be very thoughtful
for the parents in this room,
especially who brought their kids tonight,
you have to let them lose.
Fake environments are destroying their actual confidence,
It's the great disservice of parenting
to eliminate merit and the truth from your kids.
So, I really like entrepreneurship for that.
My mom didn't micromanage.
She let me live,
which means the system said no to me a lot.
I did a lot of card shows that I didn't do well on.
I had a lot of bad things happen.
When I was 13, 40 year old dudes were rippin' me off
'cause they just imposed their old man will on me
and scared me.
Like, all sorts of stuff happened.
All of which allow me the great luxury
to be in front of you tonight.
So, really ultimately, here's what I would say
and then I'll go into Q&A
'cause I think that'll bring the most value.
I desperately need you guys to leave here
understanding how ridiculously lucky we are
to be alive during this era.
This internet thing is no joke.
And I just,
and by the way, for everybody
who gets a trillion followers and makes it,
I mean, Justin Bieber, YouTube,
it's now been awhile since this has been happening
I think for a lot of this room,
you may not go on to be Bieber or build a YouTube channel
that makes $80 million selling toys
but the real conversation that isn't being talked about
is I do believe almost everybody in this room
is uncomfortably capable
of producing $100,000 a year business
if they put in a lot of time and a lot of effort
and have skill,
whether that is through making a channel
and having brands subsidize that
or selling stuff or starting a product.
And I hope that everybody who watches this
that's not in here or even the people in here
realize that that's a big statement.
That's a lot of money.
It just is.
And I say it so simply
but it's not simple at all
but the fact that you can
in a way that you never could before
and I think all the people you look up to
or you admire
or you've watched build real businesses
or real influence on these platforms,
they're the preview not the anomaly.
And not everybody's gonna have my natural talent
or work ethic or the chips fall the way they did
but I don't,
I want people to love their game the way I love it,
not get the accolades or success that I have.
'Cause the happiness is way more fun than the byproduct.
And I know a ton of people
who are unbelievably happy
and make $49,000 a year
and I know an enormous amount of people
who are deeply unhappy and sick
who make $7 million a year.
And something I've been saying a lot
and I wanna say more often,
there was always that joke that people talked about
around always valuing money
and they talked about I'd rather cry in my Ferrari.
That saying always pissed me off.
This notion that okay, you're crying,
you're deeply unhappy.
And the Ferrari verses a Toyota
is suppose to be some sort of variable there.
It's such insane bad talk.
Everybody should aspire to be smiling in their Toyota.
If you find out and understand yourself
and you've put yourself in the best position
and you happen to have talent
and you put in a ridiculous amount of work,
then you might be able to smile in your Ferrari.
And that's amazing too
but these are the things that are running through my head
and I appreciate you having me here tonight.
(audience applauds) (audience cheers)
So, let's do some Q&A.
Who's got a question?
Stand up and ask away.
Oh you have a mic.
Gonna try to play a little bit?
Yeah, we'll do the best we can.
- [Male Event Staff Member ] Are we gonna get this one on?
- [Female Event Staff Member] Yes.
- Try your best.
We'll bounce around.
- [Male Event Staff Member] Who's got a question?
- This young lady right over there.
- [Rifca] Hey, wow,
lucky number one here. - I love you.
- I love you too.
What's your name?
- My name is Rifca
and first I wanted to say,
thank you so much for everything you give to us
through all your content that you provide
and to the whole community that you built.
- [Gary] Thank you.
- My question is,
okay so, just a little background
about me - Go ahead.
- is that I have a jewelry business
and I design and I sell on a website.
- [Gary] Awesome.
- And I'm 23.
- [Gary] Awesome.
- So, I wanted to know
how you separate your personal life,
your business life and your social life
and everything that comes outside the business
and then separate it
when it comes to once you're in the office?
Or even a step further.
When one thing happens to your business
how do you get out of that mindset
and move on to the next thing
without being distracted and staying focused?
You know, some days something happens in the office
and even though I'm going to a family holiday dinner,
I just can't get over it
because I haven't figured out the solution yet.
For me, I've got a lot of experience
and I also, to be frank, am wildly
not that concerned about money/my business.
I'm really not.
I just don't know what else to say.
And that's not because I've done well.
I was that way when I was grinding and building.
I just don't put business,
it's my greatest passion
and it means nothing to me.
I'm being dead serious.
Because I know that if I built a billion dollar,
trillion dollar thing, bought the Jets
and my family dies in a plane accident,
I'm not a happy person.
So, perspective really helps me.
It's, if everyone's alive I'm good.
I struggle with taking people's judgment,
both cheers and boos.
So, that's good.
So, I'm just kinda cruising
but the answer I'm giving to you
that I think will help you,
is not necessarily where I'm at at 43 years old
with 37 years of practice in my mind.
It's where you're at.
And to me the answer is,
don't over judge yourself if you can.
It's only one day.
If you have something goin' on in a personal relationship
that's screwed up you day at work
'cause you couldn't get going,
That's not only okay if you screw up a day.
It's okay if you waste a week.
It's also okay if you waste a month.
My biggest thing is why are we over judging ourself?
We're just all livin' out here.
- [Rifca] Mm-hm.
- [Gary] You know?
- I mean, it's so much more easier to say,
oh, it's just perspective
but on the daily when things are happening
and you're in the middle of doing something
let's say, for your business,
- Who do you love the most in the world?
- My family.
Who in your family?
All of them.
- You're very politically correct.
like literally, once a day,
generally sit there for five minutes
and make pretend one of 'em got shot in the face.
I'm being dead serious with you.
Every single day, I almost,
I said this today earlier.
I probably once a week to four times a week
sit there truly in the shower, on a flight,
when I wake up,
some people meditate, some people work out,
to deal with whatever anxieties or thoughts they have.
I actually sit and truly try to convince myself
that I have lost
one of the five most important people in my life
and that is the biggest thing I do
that leads to the biggest happiness I have.
Like, what, you didn't sell enough earrings today?
Like, seriously though, people lack perspective.
It's actually remarkably easy
if it becomes the way you see the world.
Like, what, what?
We have completely lost perspective as a society.
Do you know how many people on Earth
have it way worse than you?
- [Rifca] I know but you can't,
- I just wanna remind everybody
we're sittin in Manhattan right now.
We have completely lost perspective.
So, it is easy for me
because I've practiced that perspective
because I grew up hearing the stories
of my mom losing her mom at five,
my dad losing his dad at 15,
them being in the Soviet Union.
I remember sitting in a studio apartment
with eight family members and having nothing.
I don't know.
It's very easy.
- I know.
I have your quote on my phone
that says you could go hard for 10 years
and do everything wrong and get up and still,
- It doesn't mean that you're not trying
to do the best you can
and what have you
but you have to quantify that emotion.
My biggest thing to you
is you have to make sure that you eliminate judgment.
Where everyone's losing
is they're worried about what other people think.
Everyone's losing that game.
Because the reason I can deal with losses every minute
is I don't care what you're sayin' about my loss.
I love this when athletes get to this level.
The reason they're doing well
is they don't care what ESPN said
or what you said on Twitter.
You're in the seats.
And that's how I think about everybody.
What you gonna say I had a bad idea
or it didn't work?
Well, I'm playing.
And so, I think that may help you too.
- I feel like at this day and age nothing is private.
It's like everyone knows everyone's business.
So it's like - That's not true.
- I'm minding my own - That's not true.
- business but no one else is - you guys know nothing about,
you know nothing about my family.
- What people put on social media.
you pay the consequences,
- Everyone thinks they know about you
even though they don't.
- That means you're worried about their opinions.
- No, I mean, I personally don't.
So, then go back to you question so I can help you
'cause I'm enjoying this.
What? (audience laughs)
You know, what's easier said than done for you?
- [Rifca] No, 'cause I feel like,
- What bothers you?
- I feel like I constantly am getting distracted.
- By just being 23
and that life outside of business
there's - Makes sense.
- There's just so much ahead
but you feel like there's
- [Gary] Like you're missing out?
- No, no not at all.
But like you feel that,
like there's a lot of time but there's not.
You're in your 20s.
You have all these good years
and it's really like I'm 23,
- Let me tell you about your 40s.
They're fuckin' good.
I get it.
I get it.
And you'll appreciate this.
And I'm glad we did this.
That's why I talk about patience.
Because what you're actually saying
is you're impatient.
And that's okay.
- No, no, I'm not.
(audience laughs) You are.
But that's okay.
Go ahead. - No, I'm patient
but now it's gonna sound like I care what people think
but I feel like everyone is always in my business
like, oh, when are you doing this
and when are you doing that.
- Why are you listening?
- And then it makes me inpatient,
even though I'm patient.
- No, no.
It makes you impatient
because you're valuing other people's opinions.
You just literally made both of my points.
You said I don't care what anybody thinks
and I'm patient
and then your answer to it was
people are in my business sayin' shit
which makes me impatient.
Let's move on.
- This feels like a Dailyvee coming to life.
- [Male Audience Member] So, first off, I wanna say,
it's a small world.
I grew up in Flemington, well Summerville before that.
- Love it.
You grew up in Somerville and Flemington
and for all you hard core New Jersey connoisseurs,
both of them have a circle,
which is very rare in Jersey.
- [Male Audience Member] That's annoying.
But anyways. (Gary laughs)
So, my dad's actually been following your content
before I even knew about you
and he knew you before,
when you were the wine guy,
so I'm gonna embarrass him
but he's like, oh,
he doesn't know what he's talkin' about
for business. (Gary laughs)
But anyways, now we're starting a farm
and there's a lot of vineyards that are popping up
in Hunterdon County.
And it's actually - Yeah, I heard.
- [Male Sud Member] kinda struggling.
The Union Hotel, it's in really bad disrepair.
So, I'm tryin' to see what I can do for the town
and I've stayed loyal.
I actually got kicked out of high school
for something I'm not gonna talk about here
but I basically stuck up to the super intendant.
I'm like, go ahead kick me out,
I'll go to North Hunterdon and I'll still get my diploma
and you're gonna have a bad name
when I make something of myself
and I've auditioned for Shark Tank,
I've met so many people,
like David Meltzer came out to one of our events.
I do event coordination at Microsoft
at the Times Square
and even before I started all of that,
came to your lobby and like took a picture on Instagram
and I'm like, all right, guys I need this to blow up.
So, I was tryin' to me you.
And you're like, I'm sorry I'm busy with the family
but is this an emergency?
I'm like, ah, not really.
(Gary laughs) (audience laughs)
- Thanks for tellin' the truth.
- [Male Audience Member] Yeah so, even meeting David.
It was kinda crazy
'cause he was talking
and my mind instantly went to you
before he even mentioned you
and when I went to meet him after
I'm like, sorry, I'm gonna talk about Gary this whole time
but that's just been such a huge inspiration for me.
- Thank you. - It's like,
I'm just saying with my story more so
because I'm living proof
that I actually was able to get somewhere.
Starting out with a clothing line,
watching Taylor's video
of like 20 something year olds trying that
and you're like, what are you doin' different?
So, that made me think even more.
- What's really great about you saying making something
is just how early you are in it.
a lot of my friends or people they get frustrated with me
when I talk about buying the Jets
and they're like,
when they ask me when and I say things like, 25 years,
they're so disappointed.
And for me, it's so remarkable.
Coming here with nothing
and not even being able to own a jersey
to like, if I buy the Jets at 68 years old,
that's an all time accomplishment.
People are so impatient.
You know, to your point.
To me, I'm so excited
because you feel accomplished
and yet, you literally are about to live
four more full lives.
Just the sheer amount of damage that can be done.
Back, 'cause I wanna put this in your mind.
You're literally, very likely,
I know you could get hit by lightning
but it's very likely that you're gonna live
four more full lives of what you've already lived.
And when you start putting it in that perspective,
that's why I say things like that
'cause it helps people slow down.
One of the places I'm spending a lot of time right now
is on people that are 60
because if you're 60,
you grew up in an era where 60 was like where people died
when you were 18 and 12 and things of that nature.
Yet, it's likely you have 30 more years.
So, you're acting like you're wrapping it up
and you still have a real chunk.
It's very real.
And so, I think humans really struggle quantifying time.
And it's funny, I just said something,
I use to do this all the time.
I was so,
you know it's funny,
I associate with lack of patience
'cause my ambition was so high.
So, I can respect where that comes from
from a lot of people
and I use to do something,
when I first got into my dad's business
I was like, three years in I was already crushing
and I'm like, oh, I've only been doin' this for three years.
And at three years I'll only be 28.
I'd get excited
and then I'd have like seven years into it at 29
and I was like, man.
And at that point I'd really already made it
at some level for the family
and I was like, oh, in seven years I'm only gonna be 36.
And even to this day
it blows my mind that I'm sitting up here
and I've only been in my career,
all my careers for 21 years.
And for me to say, from this moment in 21 years,
I'll be 64 and that's young.
There's a lot you can do.
And now I'm starting it here.
At 22 I was starting with a liquor store.
You know what I mean?
So, I'm glad you feel that way,
which triple excites me
'cause you haven't started.
- [Male Audience Member] I know.
I make website and I get like 90% there
and then for whatever reason
that other 10% - You get bored.
- just never clicks.
- 'Cause you got bored.
It's the same reason you and I sucked at school.
Or hated school or whatever you did.
- [Male Audience Member] I was,
I'm sorry but I was like a straight A student
but I didn't care.
- Whatever it was,
you were breaking the system
and that comes out of boredom.
- [Male Audience Member] No, like I wanted to be a singer
at a young age and my mom kinda like yours.
She sat me down and she's like, that's not realistic,
focus on what you can actually accomplish.
So, I was an immigrant too.
Moved here when I was two years old.
- I love it.
Thanks for comin'. - So, it's just like
too much. - Thank you.
- [Male Audience Member] Thank you.
- [Russ] Hello, Gary.
My name is Russ
and I've waited a long time to say hi to you.
- Thank you Russ.
- [Russ] I watched you for the last eight to 10 years
and I now am co-founder of an education company
here in New York City and around the country.
And my one question to you is,
and it's not that I'm having problems getting sales.
Schools all over right here in New York City,
all the boroughs, they have our program.
It's called The Web Guys program.
And we teach kids entrepreneurship
and we give them tools to create their own companies online
completely free of change in the public school system.
- [Russ] My question to you though,
and it's been racking my brain,
how would I use social media to target teachers
and principals and staff of schools,
not necessarily that I don't want to target kids,
- I got it.
By creating content for them on LinkedIn
and then running ads against people
that hold those jobs.
- [Russ] That's a good idea.
- Thank you. (audience laughs)
- [Russ] And also,
how would you frame,
and this a problem I don't struggle with all the time
but I teach kids every single day
and I have a staff of 15 to 18 people
that also I hire as teachers.
How would you frame entrepreneurship to 13 to 15 year olds
in a classroom setting?
What would be the best?
What do you think?
- You know, I think it's interesting.
The things that are running through my mind
is number one, making them realize that entrepreneurship
is more like sports.
So, that would be something I would tell kids.
I'm like, hey, kids, we're gonna talk about this
but I want you to know this is like sports,
meaning I could sit here for the next hour
and teach you how to play basketball,
I can show you what a shot looks like,
what some of the best players did about it,
but then we're gonna go to the court
and some people are just not gonna be good at it.
And entrepreneurship only plays out in real life,
not in a classroom.
So, I wanna,
A, that would be the first place I would start
because there's nothing about the rest of school
that maps to the reality of entrepreneurship.
So, that would be one.
The other things I would talk about,
probably I would start talking about
the loneliness of it now
because I think that's something that we don't
and didn't talk about a long time
that a lot of people are struggling with.
What really sucks about being an entrepreneur
is when you lose you can't blame someone else.
It's really fun to work at a company
because when you stink you blame the boss.
When you're company fails it's your fault.
And so, accountability.
I would talk a lot about accountability
and not being able to hide
and I would talk about a lot of mindset stuff.
And then I would put 'em in the field
and let them sell lemonade.
- [Russ] Well, we have them create little apps and companies
within the classrooms.
So then they have to market it to the rest of the school.
- Yeah, I mean, I love that
but I think, as you know,
that's a little contained environment
and it's nice.
But I would,
I would interject some of the bigger truths
for the ones that go on to actually do it.
- [Russ] Awesome
and is it a possibility I can take a photo with you
at some point?
- Yeah, we'll do it at the end.
For sure. - Awesome, thanks.
- Let's keep it goin'.
Don't worry we got time.
I see the emphatic hands.
We'll get to you.
I see you guys over there.
- [Nick] So, first off,
I'm on the moon right now 'cause I'm talkin' to you
and barely like 10 feet away from you.
- Yes, I see you.
- [Nick] So, this is insane.
So, I'm actually,
I don't know if you remember
but I was the kid that you kinda roasted on Twitter.
- I remember.
- [Nick] So, I'm Nick Anderson,
a kid that was like, hey, can I intern for you this summer
and you were like, yeah.
What did I say?
I was like oh, yeah.
You're like, when
and I was like, oh, this summer.
And then you said, oh, what's DRock,
- I said hit up DRock.
- [Nick] Yeah.
And then I was like, what's his email?
- And that's when I got excited.
- [Nick] And that's when he said,
when you want to intern for me
and can't figure this out frowny face.
And that was probably
one of the most important reality checks of my life.
- Nick, you know what's super interesting about this story?
This so amazing to me because,
and I'm gonna play with you here a little bit
because this is really good
'cause I really admire you
because we continued the conversation later
and then you emailed me, which is in my inbox.
This is super fun for me too
'cause I'm so behind on email
but I'm flying to Miami tomorrow.
I'm like, You know what, I need to catch up on email.
And literally, when I thought that today
I was like, okay, my book publisher's in there,
this is literally what went through my mind
a couple hours ago.
This is so fun to meet you in person.
I was like, okay,
my book publisher reached out to me in my inbox,
they wanna give me a new big deal,
I should probably find out what they're offering
and I was like, oh crap,
that Nick Anderson kid is in my inbox
because I told him to email after we talked on text.
Nick, there's, even more interesting part of this story.
So, I tweeted that out, as you know. (laughs)
And I remember because your name was Nick Anderson,
I was like, you know what, I'm not gonna black out the name.
Sometimes I black out the name.
But I'm like that's such a generic name
like Nick Anderson the three point shooter for the Magic
and a bunch of other,
There's a lot of Nick Anderson's so I'm gonna put that out.
It actually got picked up in the advertising rags.
- [Nick] Ad Age.
- [Nick] Yeah, I didn't know about that
til a call with Andy.
- And Ad Age took a really negative approach
at the way I handled that
and we're basically trying to tell me
that I'm a bad person for doing that.
And I understand.
And now you are actually the human involved in it
and you thanked me behind the scenes
and now you're standing here
and saying it's one of the best things
that's ever happened to you.
- [Nick] Right.
'Cause the ingenuity.
You talked about the ingenuity
of being able to find an email address.
- It's also a complete and actual real life example
of what I'm talking about
in the first 10 minutes of this talk,
which is Ad Age decided to take a snarky point of view on me
and try to paint me as a bad guy
when what I was actually tryin' to do
is bring you value.
We live in a world right now
where everybody wants everything over coddled
and then it leads to kids being depressed
because they're incapable.
You took it the way 90% of people took it,
which is you're happy it happened
and I'm completely convinced that it's the kind of thing
that's gonna change the way you do things going forward
in a positive way.
I meant what I said.
I wasn't saying,
there was no tone of, you're a loser and you're and idiot.
you know, my team's hard core.
We go hard
and if you can't find DRock's email,
this is probably something you wanna understand
as a prerequisite.
- I do want to put it into context.
I was at,
again, I was on the moon when you replied to me.
So, I was like, oh my god, oh my god,
like, oh my god, what's his email?
- I totally get that.
- I was like oh my gosh.
- And the good news is,
I'm not so overly worried about,
that makes sense to me.
If Randy the Macho Man Savage text me in 1987
- It's literally the same thing.
(audience laughs) I woulda lost my mind.
So, I think,
none the less, I just wanted to give the room context
because it's crazy that this is happening
when it's the living proof
of what the first 15 minutes of this talk was about.
So, keep going.
So, I just wanted to kinda touch on a little bit before,
I wanna do a little bit of a plug.
So, I have my college,
I go to Nichols College and I, as a freshmen,
well, before that I was impacted by cancer in my life.
I had several people in my family
and my best friends father passed away
our freshman year of high school.
So, I went to Nichols College
and I actually joined one of his replay for life teams.
It's by the American Cancer Society
and I came to Nichols
and I realized there wasn't an event there.
So, I decided, hey, you know what,
I'm just gonna start this from the ground up.
I went door to door.
I got over 200 signatures.
so we did this thing too,
you're gonna fucking love this one.
So, we did this thing called Suck for a Buck.
And don't mind the name.
- Be careful there's a lot of kids in here.
- Marketing, marketing.
We would vacuum people's rooms for $1.
- Love it.
- So, I would go and say,
and I wanna get a Go Pro or something
on my chest for one of these days that I do it
and say, hi,
would you like to participate in Suck for a Buck?
- And, oh my god.
- Yeah, of course. - The people.
It is just awesome.
So, what we would do
is my roommate here, Brian,
Brian McLaughlin by the way.
Wink, wink. - Love it.
- [Brian] I tried to hack Brian's Instagram so many times.
- Just so everybody knows what's happening here.
- [Brian] McLaughlin.
- McLaughlin is also an agent at Vayner Sports.
The same name, just not this one.
- [Brian] Unfortunately.
Maybe one day.
- That's awesome.
- Right so, long story short,
we set our goal for 10,000.
And we actually had some people in administration
that said, hey, you know what,
you should lower the goal to 7500.
And we firmly said, nope, not doin' that.
Hit to now, there's 10,000, two weeks before the event.
We raised it to 15.
Hit that the day before the event.
Raised over 16,500.
And to date we've raised over $40,000
for the American Cancer Society.
- That's awesome.
- And that was even before I met you.
- So, now it's 400 million.
- Now, it's literally all of the money.
- All the monies.
- Right yeah.
- I apologize
'cause I know there's a lot of people who wanna get there,
- I understand. - No, I just wanna,
is there a question?
It's okay if there isn't.
- Well, I would,
if you have any sort of time
'cause I know it's really,
maybe after we could kinda talk,
- I will definitely email you on this flight tomorrow
and we're gonna offer you an internship.
That was a real conversation we had.
you may not take it.
So, we'll have time this summer to talk.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome. - Thank you.
- Let's go to more.
You stand up.
I apologize, brother, give me one second.
I'm gonna bounce around.
You'll be next.
Go ahead, yep, her.
Yep, I'm pointin' to you.
- [Ms. Self Love] Me?
- [Ms. Self Love] Hi, Gary.
- How are you?
- [Ms. Self Love] I'm Ms. Self Love.
I have a podcast
'cause you told me to start a podcast on Anchor.
It's about helping people heal from their breakups.
Anchor.fm/breakups is my podcast.
- I love it.
- [Ms. Self Love] This is my shirt.
- I see it.
- [Ms. Self Love] I'm on all platforms.
I'm on Tik Tok.
So, I have a question about LinkedIn.
- [Ms. Self Love] So, my podcast is personal.
So, LinkedIn is business
so how do I promote my podcast
on a business site like LinkedIn.
I really don't know how to,
- Just post it.
- [Ms. Self Love] Post it.
- LinkedIn is not business.
LinkedIn has now become Facebook.
- [Ms. Self Love] Okay.
- Like, yes LinkedIn has the component of recruiting
but the content in LinkedIn,
if you watch it carefully,
looks more like Facebook five years ago.
There is more business content
but LinkedIn has completely crossed the chasm
to be a general social network
when it comes to posting on LinkedIn
and so, you should just post it there.
- Thank you, Gary. - You're wlm.
- I listen to your podcast everyday.
I can't wait to take a picture with you.
- Thank you.
Before we go to that dude
I wanna go to this kid
'cause he was next.
- [Male Audience Member] Hi.
So, I have a question about starting a business.
I'm tryin' to start sneaker resale.
I was wondering what the best way to get into it is.
- You're lookin' to start a what?
- [Male Audience Member] Sneaker resaleing business.
- So, sneaker resale is super easy
because you know,
are you looking to build a platform
or you just tryin' to sell sneakers?
- [Male Audience Member] A little bit of both.
- So, I think platform's hard,
especially in the world of GOAT and StockX and Ebay.
Everybody wants to build like the Uber or the StockX.
To me, flipping is easy.
It's grinding, it's hacking.
It's figuring out the website culture.
It's figuring out Instagram culture.
It's figuring out staying in line for four and a half hours.
But to me, the question is,
if you're just reselling, I think you know the answers.
Now, it's really just about bleeding and putting it,
If you're lookin' to build something,
I think it's a very difficult time to compete on platform
unless you're raising five to $10 million
because the cost of entry now in a StockX, GOAT,
Sneaker Con, there's so much.
Everybody wants to be the platform
where people flip sneakers.
Not to mention Ebay gets an uncomfortable amount.
Instagram Direct only.
So, that's my point of view on those two.
- [Male Audience Member] Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- [Ky] Hi, Gary.
My name is Ky.
I'm from Vienna in Austria
and I've just flown one week in New York.
And I have to see you.
- I'm glad.
Thanks for being here. - I'm so glad to see you.
My question is,
I was wondering have you ever been so highly positive
or when or what was the point in your life
that you realized that positivity is the fucking game?
- Yeah, I've always been very, very positive.
But I do think it's a DNA trait
that I share with my mom.
And so, yes I think that comes natural to me.
I think I'm starting to get to the point in my life
where I'm also really fascinated about the advice I gave
to the first question about
why was I so scared about losing family as a kid.
I've been thinking a lot lately
about the only recurring nightmare I ever had in my life
when I was seven to nine
I mean, I had it a lot,
which was we would go back to Russia on a flight
and the plane would go down.
And I'm just really thinking a lot about it.
I'm thinking about what made me so scared.
Why did I love my parents so much?
All those things.
And what did that do to my perspective
and why did it put things into perspective.
I didn't realize being happy or positive as a kid
was a business advantage
but I definitely believe that
without optimism you can't be an entrepreneur.
you have to believe.
'Cause it's super hard.
So, I do think optimism and positivity
are incredible ingredients
but I think people have to be very careful
because the other thing is
I'm extremely practical and lack delusion.
And being optimistic and positive
leads to delusion for a lot of people.
This is where self-awareness
and accountability really matter.
Just saying it isn't gonna get it done.
And so, yes, positivity is the absolute game
but so is practicality.
- [Ky] Understood.
Thank you. - You got it.
You got it.
- [Cindy] Hi, Gary.
- How are you?
- [Cindy] I'm great.
My name is Cindy.
And I am here because my son was awarded tickets
by your team First In Line.
So, - I love that.
- [Cindy] Thank you.
- [Cindy] Two things.
I have one question.
First of all, I love acupuncture.
That's what I do.
- Love that. - I also do antique auctions.
I have an auctioneers license.
- [Cindy] But that's not going so great.
That's just kinda slow.
Not much with auctions.
My side hustle, which I want to become my main hustle,
is channeling, psychic greetings.
And so, what I'm trying to do is do Facebook Lives for free
so I can give value
- [Cindy] I actually told a couple people here about them.
And so, is there anything else I could do
just to kinda,
I wrote a book but,
- I have an idea.
I think you should do it for free in real life
- And film it. - Wherever it
doesn't get you arrested. (laughs)
(audience laughs) - Yes.
- And I think you should film them
if people allow you to.
And I think that's the content you should put out.
- [Cindy] Okay and I totally agree with you.
So, thank you.
- And then if you think about,
and a lot of you know this
and I think of lot of you have seen
the Gary Vee content model deck
and if you haven't you should look for it.
Once you film it,
then you post produce it contextual to LinkedIn.
Then you take a clip and put it on Tik,
you never know which piece of content
really starts the process
but I think that would really work
because then people can see it.
- [Cindy] Exactly.
One more thing?
- [Cindy] I also love gemstone, crystals and whatnot.
You need a tourmaline.
- What's a tourmalie?
- [Cindy] What it does is,
it looks like a piece of coal
but when you put it in your pocket
all the negative energy that goes to you,
the stone pushes back against them.
- But I'm doing that naturally.
(audience laughs) - Well, that'll help, Gary.
That'll help. - What's it called?
A tome, a what?
- [Cindy] Tourmaline.
- I might be a human tourmaline.
(audience laughs) - You are but
sometimes you need a break.
- Listen, I'll get one
but I'm gonna give you a real preview.
- [Cindy] I'll send you one.
- I will take it
and now I'm gonna give you the preview.
- [Cindy] Thank you.
- No, no, let me give it to you.
- Okay. (audience laughs)
- I will 100% lose it within 48 hours.
Do you know that the biggest reason I don't wear jackets
is 'cause I lose all of them.
I lose everything,
except my wallet and my phone
because I always am touching them
because I lose everything.
So, thank you so much.
- [Cindy] Thank you very much.
- My man, my man.
Right in the corner there.
He knew who Nick Anderson was
so I was hopin' he was gonna have a question.
- [Manny] How you doin', Gary?
- I'm well, brother.
- [Manny] My name is Manny Digital.
I have a couple podcasts
but I'm mostly,
well, fatherhood being one of them.
I'm here with the Fatherhood is Lit crew.
- I see 'em. - We're like 40 deep.
- I know that man.
I saw him.
- [Manny] So, my question to you is
just given the context of podcasts and sports,
'cause I have one that's about basketball,
my conflict is being audio first
and not really finding a place for video just quite yet
just because it's so ominous to me
to have to do the audio piece,
use clips to push everywhere
and then take the same toll with video.
I know it sounds like an excuse
and it's lazy but, - No, no.
No, that's not necessarily - how would you approach it
- where I'm going.
- [Manny] in order to scale
and try to get the listenership up?
- It's just content and guests.
- [Manny] So, just keep doin' what I'm doin'?
- Yeah, but I think, a couple things.
Like, you'll love this.
Like it's like, ready?
How do you become a better basketball player?
- [Manny] Practice.
- you practice the reps.
And so, for me the way to build awareness for one's show
is practice the reps
but I wanna give you all the best moves
by not putting out video clips and images
you're not developing your left hand.
- [Manny] Gotcha.
- Got it?
- [Manny] Makes sense.
Another question for you.
- Damn that was good if you understand basketball.
If you really understand basketball,
that was one of my better ones.
- [Manny] What size are you, shirts?
I got you.
- [Manny] Black attack. (audience applauds)
- Got it.
I'll rock it.
And I will rock it.
I will support.
And that's, by the way,
this is the other way.
You find somebody that you know will probably rock it.
You know that's gonna get attention
and you get 800 more.
Let me go back to guests.
You should DM every single person
that is in the top 1000 of your dream guests.
And three are gonna say yes
and that's gonna give you leverage.
I say it.
- [Manny] I do that already.
- More, more.
Larry Bird only made the league
'cause he did a lot of shooting.
Magic Johnson literally every morning
before the bus came and literally shot 1000 shots as a kid.
That's real life.
That's real life.
- [James] What's up, Gary.
How you doin'?
I'm James from Fatherhood is Lit.
- I know, baby.
- [James] I know you for a long time.
- I know, man.
- [James] I been Jabbin' since we been doin' the fat startup
and I got my son with me over here.
He's gonna be 13
and he's been livin' off of all the jabs,
where now he's getting all the fruits of my labor
but it's not the money.
It's the perks.
How do I teach him not to pimp himself out
for the free stuff
and actually get some money?
- So, I think you teach him by,
first of all, you still have an uncomfortable amount of time
to ask for the money, you know?
Like before we start worryin' about him,
this is really important to me.
How old are you?
- [James] Right now, 39.
- You know, the fact that your tonality is
that resigned to the fact that all the jabbing,
and AKA for everybody who doesn't know what we're saying,
giving you've done
that you ran out of time.
So, I think the way you teach him
is by you doing it,
by showing him.
And I also think that the biggest thing
that you need to pay attention to,
'cause I know you well,
I know you well which means I like you
and I know you're a good guy
but I don't know how you were jabbing
so I don't know this about you.
I think one of the things that I wanna make sure,
especially when people start looking at my framework
and they're like, it's give, give, give and then ask.
I'm watching a lot of people
that are trying,
you know, they tag me in it
and I think people are very confused by giving.
I think people think they're giving,
and I don't know if this is what you're doing
but I just wanna go here
'cause it's gonna bring value to everybody
and it may allow you to think,
here are the reasons why people are good at giving
and then get sad that they didn't get,
here are the reasons.
Number one, they literally didn't ask.
Some people are actually uncomfortable with selling,
which is amazing.
Nothing wrong with.
Means you need to hire somebody who sells.
Number two, they weren't giving,
they were manipulating.
There are so many people that think they're giving
but they're giving with expecting.
I mean, people roll up at me,
they're, Gary, I gave you.
You gave me what?
You didn't give me.
You rolled up on me and handed me something
that I had no interest in
so that you could then ask me
for two hours of my fuckin' time.
You didn't give me.
You manipulated me.
So, this is again, 'cause I know you're a good guy,
I don't necessarily think that
but of lot of you are doing it subconsciously.
You're actually not bad people at all.
You're just so hungry for what you want
you don't even realize that you're not giving.
You're setting up your ask.
That's why I work.
I work because the content I'm putting out is giving.
I could care less about anything that happens after.
I don't need that,
I don't monetize my audience that way.
I'm not looking for anything from you.
And anytime I even get close to it
it's in the form of something that you may,
you wear sneakers
so if you think mine look good,
I'll take it over Reebok.
You drink wine but I don't want you to buy it if you don't.
And that's why I like those kind of things
verses a mastermind for 30,000 a month
to teach you more.
And so, I think you show,
you teach him by showing.
There was a great quote that always really stuck with me,
mainly because I work a lot
and I fear the time allocation to my kids,
and it spoke about,
it was a quote of something like
my father showed me how to live
he didn't tell me how to live.
That's what I think you need to do
'cause you've got so much time.
- [Luck] What's up, Gary, Luck here.
How you doin', man?
- Really well.
- [Luck] So, I got my three boys here.
- I see 'em.
Good lookin' crew.
- [Luck] So, me and the Mrs.,
we have two complete,
we got here on two complete different separate roads,
not even close.
- Yeah, makes sense.
- [Luck] She has a typically Serena story,
the Tiger Woods where her father drilled in here
since she was five years old
that you're gonna be a singer songwriter,
you're gonna be a singer songwriter.
16 years old, boom, signed major record label.
Successful singer songwriter.
- [Luck] I'm the opposite.
Son of immigrants that came here.
You're not gonna do it.
You're not gonna do it.
You're not gonna do it.
More Ls than wins
but I'm here now.
- They were telling you you couldn't succeed
or the world was telling,
- [Luck] The world. - Respect.
- Didn't have the opportunity. - Yep, understood.
- [Luck] So, now we're at a place
where those Ls are in our past.
They're in the rear view mirror.
And we feel like we're in a great place now
but the common denominator for us
is that we both didn't go to college.
So, for us, we wanted to give them
the best chance for success
so we're doing,
- You don't think that's college?
- [Luck] No, well, we're doing the opposite now.
We're like, you know what, it's not worth the struggle.
You shouldn't have the struggles your mom did.
You shouldn't have the struggles I did.
So, you're gonna go to this school,
you're gonna go to that.
And now we feel like where's the balance
of teaching your kids this is what you have to do,
give them the best opportunity
but staying away, - You know this
is the most cliche thing ever, right?
Like parents always wanna give their kids
the things that they didn't have
but that often is exactly the thing
that makes them not be able to do the things
we want them to be able to do.
- [Luck] So, what are you gonna say to your kids
when they say,
- Well, first of all, let's get real serious about this.
All three of those dudes are wickedly different.
- [Luck] They're all,
not even the same kid.
- You know what I mean?
Like, they just are.
So, one of them should go to college
and do that.
One of them should,
the first thing,
I don't think about kids in a master thesis.
I think about one, two, three.
So, the number one thing that I think we all need to do,
especially with kids in that age group
is we need to watch.
Parenting is a game of listening,
It's very cute that the two of you came up
with this master thesis of what you want.
What you really want is for them to be happy.
- [Luck] Facts.
- Right? - Facts.
- And so, I think you need to be thoughtful about that
and watch it.
Now, you ask kids that age what makes them happy,
it's like candy and doing nothing.
You know, you gotta guide
but I think you can't put,
you shouldn't put entrepreneurship on a pedestal.
You shouldn't put school on a pedestal.
You should put your ears on a pedestal
and really watch and listen to them.
The number one,
what am I gonna do?
I'm gonna desperately try to put my two children
in a position to love their process the way I love mine.
And if that comes in the form of
they look at daddy's success
and they wanna save the elks in Peru
and go that route and they're passionate about that,
I'm fired up.
I'm not gonna pay for their shit.
I'm being serious.
You're not gonna save the elks in Peru
wearing a fuckin' $50,000 watch.
You're not gonna have a fancy New York apartment.
You decided to save the fuckin elks in Peru.
You're fulfillment's coming in heart, not cash.
- [Luck] What's gonna be your biggest advice
if they decide to follow in your footsteps though.
- I apologize?
- [Luck] What's gonna be your number one advice,
your number one pro tip
if they wanna say, Dad I wanna do what you do?
- I'm gonna say go.
I mean look, my kids even from day one
are already in a better position
because I plan on not giving them money
but I plan on giving them an opportunity
and when I say that,
I'm not gonna be a hypocrite.
My dad let me come into his business
but my dad didn't give me the business.
I built my dad's business for him and left with nothing.
Let's just, one more time, drill the story home
for everybody who's lookin' for a fuckin' excuse.
Walked in my dad's business at 22,
worked every fuckin' day until I was 34.
Built it from three million to 60 million
and left with nothing.
Why did Vayner Media start in Buddy Media's conference room?
'Cause I had no money.
So, that's what I'll do.
You wanna come and work at
whatever the hell I'm doin' at the time?
But I'm not gonna undermine all the employees in there
and just put you on 'cause your last name's Vaynerchuk.
You wanna be in the music business?
I'll call the number one person and let them work
and then when I'm talkin' to them I'm like,
listen, don't put my kid in a fake environment,
if they're good, cool,
if they need to be fired, better.
I don't want my kids to make money.
I want them to be happy.
Do you know how unhappy,
the unbelievable amount of 34 year olds
that have a senior job right now at some company
'cause their mom asked for a favor?
They feel like losers.
So, then they buy things to make them feel better
that mean nothing.
We need to start having the real conversation
in our society.
I'm actually very comfortable with it, as you can tell
and I think it's because I'm willing
to deal with the reality of it
instead of the ideology of it.
I don't have those thoughts.
I have the macro thought you guys have,
which is you love 'em and you want them to be good.
But what process they go through,
I don't put what I went through
or the counter to what I went through on a pedestal.
Not Harvard, not entrepreneurship, is good.
Them is what's interesting to me.
Who you are right now at this time,
do know what world they're gonna live in?
You don't 'cause nor do I.
It's a listening game.
- [Luck] Cheers to that.
Thanks, man. - Cheers.