- If only your name was Tim.
- Oh yeah,
- Jen Tam.
- Tin Jen.
- Chitty Chitty Jen Jen.
- Hey everybody.
Happy Coming Out Day.
Coming Out Day is a wonderful day
where we celebrate people coming out of their shells.
So coming out can encompass all different types of things,
it doesn't necessarily have to mean your sexual orientation.
It can mean your gender identity,
it can mean types of relationships,
your romantic style, all this stuff.
This is a space where you can come, you can watch,
you can hear about things, and then you can talk
in the comments and talk about your stuff
and Tweet at us and it'll be a good time.
We have a very special guest today to talk about coming out.
She's a good friend of the show, Tania's here.
Come here Tan, come on in.
- Crawl in through the side door of the closet.
Hey buddy, how ya doing.
- Hey mates.
- Yeah we might have to be thigh to thigh a little bit.
You know how tall you are in centimeters?
- Yeah about 185 centimeters I'm pretty sure.
- Wow so Tania is this tall.
- About six feet.
Hey my name's Tan, I'm australian, gay,
and so excited to be here today.
Happy Coming Out Day, it's awesome.
- What pronouns do you use?
- She and her.
Is my elbow on your knee okay like this?
Are you comfortable with that?
- Yeah that's fine.
- Quick question, lightning round.
How long have you been gay?
- Ever since I can remember,
which is you know going back to being like two maybe.
When I was about 14 or 15,
I was in love with my best friend.
We were kinda of together, kinda kept it on the DL
because we went to a really strict school,
we even had boyfriends on the side.
Niki had a boyfriend too, but he wasn't a beard.
You were just figuring that out.
- No I was just dating.
- I also had a boyfriend and he also wasn't a beard.
But he also wasn't really a boyfriend.
- Yeah that yeah.
- Let's talk a little bit about coming out.
- There was one time where I had like a hickey on my neck.
And my mom asked, "What's that from?"
And I was like oh its from Natalie.
And she kind of was taken aback.
And it was maybe a few months after that
where she asked me whether I was gay.
And I had just said yes.
And I was probably about 16 or so,
and she reacted really really badly to that.
Her and I are fine now,
but back then she completely lost it.
And it was really quite a sad, scary time
for me, to be completely honest.
She said everything under the sun
that you hear about or watch movies about, right.
And we've actually had some family members
completely disown all of us
as a collective, immediate family.
So I feel like if you're not going to love me for who I am,
then I can't give you the same love.
So I'm actually at a place in my life right now
where I feel really good.
- So you and your mom are at an okay place right now though?
- Yeah we're pretty tight now,
and I honestly never thought this day would come.
There were like years where we didn't speak at all.
What's your story?
- I realized when I was really young I was gay,
and then I had a very tortured, sad, depressiony
period of time.
There were some people that I told
because it felt natural and some people I told
because I felt like they forced it out of me.
It wasn't until I got a little bit older
that I was actually really comfortable being out.
I mean I don't know Niki, your story.
- I probably came to the realization
when I was like 13 or 14.
I only came out to my family last year
after the Supreme Court ruling.
Something that kind of made me wait that long,
like if my family knows, they have to come out for me
everytime they talk to their friends.
- That is very nice
that you were thinking about other people.
- Well cause my family being Asian
had something to do with it, right.
- That's the thing I was gonna say,
we all have different family values.
It comes down to culture,
it comes down to tradition, religion.
There's so many factors, whereas for me
I was just this rebellious asshole teenager
who just didn't give a (bleep).
- I have tips for coming out.
- Tips from Tan.
- Tips from Tan.
Wait Tan, say that.
- Tips from Tan.
- She looks so mad.
- Coming out is very different for everyone.
For some people it's incredibly dangerous
and I wouldn't recommend it.
And for others, it's a walk in the park.
I think only you know whether it's safe or not.
And if your gut is saying not yet or not at all.
Go with that.
There's no one way to live or come out.
Online resources are really handy, youth forums,
going to like LGBTIQA groups if you can,
and realizing that you're not alone.
We literally have all gone through this.
It takes a lot of courage but you will get there.
- For people that want some links to places
where they can find information or community,
we've included some links in the description of this video.
So you can check some of those out
and hopefully get some answers or even some friendship.
- Ah, friendship.
Now we're going to play a little game
that I think Niki made up,
but we're here for it.
- I didn't make it up.
Tan's Tim Tam Slams.
- Tan's Tim Tam Slams.
Tim Tams are the quintessential Australian biscuit.
You're in for a treat.
Are you ready?
- Yeah, yes.
- A Tim Tam slam is when you bite the corners
off the Tim Tam diagonally
and you suck through like a hot tea, coffee, hot chocolate.
And so it melts the inside, it becomes this
really silky smooth chocolaty goodness.
And then you just shove it all in your mouth.
- So we now have hot chocolate.
- I'm so excited for you.
- Thank you.
- Are you?
Okay just well
- Got it.
- Tin Tans.
- Yeah I had a girl call me Tim Tan once
because I bought her a box of Tim Tams as a gift.
- Did it work out?
- So you bite the corners,
get your hot tea.
- It'll work.
Then eat it.
- Oh my god, it's melting.
Did you just lose it?
- Should we leave the closet Tan?
- Alright, let's bounce.
- I love you.
We're going this way.
- [Niki] Side door.
- Side door, sort of similar to side boob
but we can say it on T.V.
- [Niki] I love side boob.