Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Testing Weird Love Spells

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(rooster crowing)

(roaring)

(wheel spinning)

- Welcome to Good Mythical More.

- 10 word story.

- Dude.

- You.

- Are.

- So.

- Perfect.

- In.

- A.

- Somewhat.

- Imperfect.

- World.

- Aw. Happy pre-Valentine's Day, buddy.

That was nice. - Dude, you are so perfect

in a somewhat imperfect world.

Whoa, that was good, Link.

That's the best story we've ever told.

- Was it a compliment for me, or--

- It was a compliment for us both.

- It's like we, we both backed into a compliment.

- Dude, you are so perfect in a somewhat imperfect world.

You know, it's like a,

fortune. - Speaking of which,

Ellie and Will are coming in here,

two perfect people in an imperfect world.

- Yeah, wow thank you.

- Um, I am told that-- - Welcome.

- Thank you.

- That you guys have learned love spells.

- Yes. - Oh ya. Oh ya.

We are experts in the divine black arts.

- I'm not the same,

what she taught me changed who I am in my soul.

- Where do you go to learn this sort of witchcraft?

- Sounds like Will - The internet.

learned from Ellie.

- Ya, Van Nuys.

(laughing)

- Tell us whatcha wanna do.

- So we are going to instruct you both

through a couple love spells.

I'm gonna start with Rhett,

and these both have different shades,

they have different purposes.

So for you,

the love spell I'm gonna instruct you through is called

To Get a Lover.

I don't know if it has like a Latin name somewhere.

But this is just straight and to the point,

no questions here.

Obviously you have a lover currently.

- Right, so is this to get another lover,

or is this-- - I feel like this is,

I feel like this is to get another lover.

- Oh it is? That might be a problem.

- Well, hear me out. - I think I might need to

enhance the love,

Maybe. - Question--

- Let's be real, is the fire out?

(crew laughing)

Do you need to get the lover you used to have?

I'm just trying to make this work.

- I've heard that like--

- I had to install a fire ladder the other day

because it's so hot.

- Wow.

Ooh!

- A fire ladder.

- It's coming off of him, right?

- Sometimes she has to leave the room from the second story.

'Cause she gets--

- Many times she sprints and flees out

the bedroom window. - 'Cause she gets so

worked up.

- You can do this spell for Jessie if you want,

I love Jessie.

- Okay, this will be for Jessie.

- Okay.

But I also hear that married couples have hall passes;

like completely unattainable people

that they could never sleep with.

That it's like,

if you happened to run into them

then that's the one time it's okay to sleep with them.

- Yeah, her's is Jason Mamoa.

- Oh really?

- Oh yeah.

- I feel like she could meet him at some point.

- She's watching, she's gonna use this on Jason.

- Link, will you hand the pot, the sharpie,

and the onion over?

- Yeah, I just happen to have those.

(chuckling)

- Okay.

So first things first is,

on this onion you have to write the name

of whom you wish to have as your lover,

in addition to your wife.

Or your wife, whatever you wanna do.

I'm not gonna force it one way or the other.

- Don't write Rihanna.

No one wins.

- Okay.

- I don't know why I'm looking away like I shouldn't know,

or something.

Uh...

- Wow.

Okay, so it's Jessie and RiRi.

I don't believe

that that's the legal name. - Tryin' to double up on this.

- I don't know if you can do that.

You do kinda have to go with

the social security legal name.

- Yeah, what's on her green card from Barbados?

- Yeah.

- Robyn Fenty?

- Yeah.

- Okay. - So why don't you just write

Robyn Fenty on there. - Is that her name?

- Mm-hm.

- Did you know that? - Is it with a y?

- O-B-Y-N, yeah.

- You got a thing for RiRi too,

or you just know her name? - Who doesn't?

Yeah!

Betta' have my money. - Yeah, he's alive.

- I'm alive, I'm male.

- He has a pulse.

- We have blood coursing through our body.

- She's a living goddess.

- Okay, so we've got--

now Rihanna is taking up so much more real estate

than your wife and I think that's funny.

(laughing)

- It's not funny,

my wife just has a short name.

It's actually Jessica.

- Should you also write that too?

- Jessica.

- Okay.

- You know what?

It has five Cs.

- You're gonna get the wrong Jessica.

- Jessica. - Now,

next you have to plant it in this pot, okay?

So it's the perfect size for that onion,

as you'll see.

You have to really dig it in there.

And as you do that,

you have to add a drop of your own blood.

I did not bring a sterilized needle with me today,

so you could just spit in it,

or we could pluck a beard hair or a head hair.

- That ain't gonna make me bleed.

- No, well I think it just needs some part of your body,

you know.

Like, to call to her. - How 'bout some nose hair?

- Oh, gross.

- Ew! - Oh my gosh.

- That was so much.

- How you got that many?

Is that what being a man is?

(Rhett laughing)

- It was two inches long.

- Do I have that much nose hair?

- No, you're not me. (all chuckling)

- Oh, God.

Okay, so while you're doing that,

and you can just keep on trying to bury it

in the right sized pot,

you should repeat the name of your intended,

or your multiple intendeds aloud.

- This is a little awkward.

- Jessie,

Rihanna.

Jessie, Rihanna. - Us too?

- Jessie, Rihanna.

- At the same time.

- Jessie, Rihanna. Jessie, Rihanna.

Jessie, Rihanna. - Okay, and then

you water the plant every day - Rihanna.

at sunset and sunrise and you say the words,

"As this root grows, so shall the love

"of Jessie and Rihanna grow for me."

So, oh my God, look at the time!

It's sunset.

You're gonna have to say it now.

- As this root grows, so shall the love

of Jessie and Rihanna grow for me.

- Wow! (clapping and chuckling)

- So you're growing an onion?

- And then it says that you just water it every day,

and it doesn't give you a stopping point.

You just water it every day,

sunset and sunrise.

So you're waking up-- - Never give up.

- And then what?

does Rihanna follow the smell - Really early. of the onion?

What happens next?

- No it's like, the spirits,

they check where it says she lives on her driver's license,

they send her mail through the US post,

and then she will consider,

and then she will let you know if she's attracted to you.

- Okay.

- So hopefully you get a lover.

- I'm very very excited about the possibilities.

- Yeah.

- Will, whatcha' got for me?

- Oh man. Look, dude.

I got,

Look, I was in Van Nuys,

I was going to this guru and he taught me, he's like,

this is how you can get kissed on the lips finally

for the first time.

(laughing)

So I got it for you.

Step one, I need to gather my ingrediums.

- I've been--

you don't think I've ever been kissed on the lips?

- No, Will hasn't. - No!

Well I mean,

you got a wife so I know you did it at least once.

- Yeah, that's how you had your baby, right?

- Yeah. - Right,

that's how you have a baby. - Little lip kissing

plumps the belly. - So I just need my--

Oh, there are my ingredients! How'd they get there?

- Because I keep cinnamon sticks,

rose petals,

and honey bear honey.

- This seems a lot better - You need it.

than my spell already.

- Oh yeah. - Yeah, it is.

- You're not wrong.

- This one's expensive. (Rhett laughing)

- No onions.

This is to be kissed on the lips?

- Yeah, this is so you can get kissed on the lips.

- Okay, okay.

- Mine is called the Aphrodite Love Tea,

for romance and attraction.

- Now, this isn't like a aunt kiss,

'cause I would always kiss

my aunt directly on the lips. - Oh,

No way.

Oh, and you're okay?

- No, no. (laughing)

He contracted something,

somewhere. - No, he's not okay.

- My aunt always tried,

I was like no. - My nana, my aunt.

Directly on the lips.

My dad lots of times, directly on the lips.

- Uh uh. Well this will stop all this.

- It was a whole Neal thing.

- This will help you forget.

(Rhett laughing)

- You're trying not to say something.

- No, no! (all laughing)

- It's true! - I'm sweating.

(laughing)

Not my granddad.

- Is that my boiled water over there?

- Yeah. - Okay, yeah.

- Boil the water, pour it into a teacup.

I guess we got the teacup already.

- Yup, we did that.

- Oh, old school. - Now,

I need you to cast a circle with the rose petals,

and invite Aphrodite into your circle.

- Oh yeah, naturally. - Okay.

- So the thing about Aphrodite is that sh--

- So my aunt, that was her name.

- No, no, no.

- No, make the circle - This is not your aunt.

around the mug.

- Okay.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Perfect.

Aphrodite,

she's a very dangerous goddess.

Sometimes she takes the lives of those

who try to take love unnaturally,

so be careful.

- Okay, yeah. - Dangerous.

- You got the rose petals perfect.

- I believe in consent, absolutely.

- Yes.

Brew your potion by placing the remaining roses

and cinnamon into the water.

Place some of them roses.

- Brew my potion

by putting the remaining petals

and cinnamon - And cinnamon.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa. into the water.

Wait, hold on.

Just dip that in there.

(tapping)

- Okay. - Is that part of it?

- Yeah.

Well, you have to touch it to know that it's working.

- It's got that-- - You have--

(Rhett laughing)

- Wow, I've never seen...

I've never seen a warlock (tapping)

rub himself with water like that.

- Wow. - So,

Should I also do that?

- I think you should. - No.

- Were you just...

- No, you definitely shouldn't.

- It's part that the guru taught me, how like,

as the person helping I gotta get it--

Sorry, one more. (tapping)

- You're so dewy. (wet smack)

- You're spilling a lot...

- And it's on me now.

- You might be in this love spell a little bit.

- Please! - Okay.

I welcome it. - Will, you have the,

the most exquisitely long fingers

I've ever seen - I really do.

on a human being.

- That's what she has said to me.

(all laughing)

When the color--

- Not me. (laughing)

When the color appears in the water,

drizzle some of that honey into it

and stir it six times clockwise.

- When the water starts turning color.

Let's just see.

- Tap it, you're not tapping it right, tap all fingers.

There you go. (tapping)

- Your fingers aren't long enough.

- There you go. Yeah, you gotta get long fingers.

- Let's isolate the sound and see what it reminds us of.

- Nope.

- That does smell good.

- It does smell good! - And then, a little honey.

- You drizzled perfectly.

That is great drizzling technique.

- Oh, that's,

that's a little honey.

- That's a little honey.

- And then stir.

- Six times, clockwise.

- And if you do it wrong, the world will end.

- Aphrodite will know.

- One, - One.

two,

three,

four,

five,

six.

- You did it right.

You did it right, okay.

- Are you here, Aphrodite?

- Hello?

- It's not a seance. keep going.

- Chant over the tea, or recite a line of love poetry.

So I have a poem that I'd like for you to read,

it's by William Shakespeare.

- Okay great, heard of him.

- Highly acclaimed author.

Go ahead and give that a read.

- Love is not love,

which alters when it alteration finds

(tapping) or bends with the remover

to remove. (Ellie laughing)

Oh no.

It is an ever-fixed mark that looks on tempests

and is never shaken.

It is the star to every wandering bark,

whose worth's unknown although his height be taken.

What does this mean?

I have no clue. - Oh she's

so gonna kiss you on the lips.

And I have to read one too, for my love.

Ariana Grande, please notice me.

(all laughing)

Life without you is like life with no teeth.

If I could see you in my life, my life would be complete.

Please slide in my DMs with a place we could meet.

Please, please.

Aphrodite, I am on my knees!

Ariana Grande is more than a queen,

I'd quit this job for one moment with you.

Please, please; Aphrodite, please!

- Did you just quit your job?

(tapping) - For Aria Gra--

- Is that what you said?

Cool, great.

Now, close your eyes--

- He did that for himself, I think.

- Yeah, I thought this--

- It's half you, half me.

Come on, you got a wife.

- I feel like we're gonna just have to kiss.

- In a couple minutes.

Now, close your eyes--

- I mean I complimented your fingers.

(all laughing) What else do I have to do?

- So close your eyes,

and imagining opening your heart like a rosebud.

That's not a rosebud.

That's a daffodil.

Perfect.

- Wow.

- It's definitely gonna work.

- I hope you're ready to have another baby.

(Rhett laughing)

- I'm not gonna lie Link, that was sexy.

That was really sexy.

Whoa your heart's two rosebuds.

Is that Aphrodite?

Link!

- Is that how you gonna kiss?

- I feel like I should go...

- Close the circle up by cleaning up

and burying the rest of the ingredients.

I don't really have anything to bury 'em,

just throw them in that trash can.

- You could use our onion pot

if you want. - Give it a sip!

- Oh!

- Give it a sip.

You really would drink it, I was about to say.

(laughing)

- I'm following your directions.

I mean you did touch it with your fingers.

- Aw, you're gross!

- It's not bad.

It's very cinnamony and William-fingery.

- Lil' bit fingery.

That's what she had also had said.

(all laughing)

- So now you're gonna get kissed or something.

(laughter and applause)

- [Rhett] If you missed the Tour of Mythicality,

have no fear.

The all new tour of Mythicality Special is here.

Available now on YouTube, iTunes, Amazon,

and a wide variety of platforms

including most cable TV providers.

The Description of Testing Weird Love Spells