Come on over Brad.
Yeah, come over, have a seat, play some Hitman.
Yeah, you come here, you come here
Wait, no, Brad wants to sit there. He wants to sit next to me.
What are you drinking right now? It looked like Knob Creek
Yeah, it's Knob Creek
Knob Creek, handsome, and some water to counteract that it's 10:30 in the morning
It's Beldingford Manor right, remember? With the *censored*
to the *censored* (James) What'd you say?
Well, that's a British name
Uh, I always love when it's somebody new here... is playing hitman with us because I get to explain what we're doing
Let's also explain who's here with us?
Well I don't care about that! (James) My name's James Willems
Oh, sorry, my name's Bruce green, it doesn't matter about that. Brad, what's your name?
I'm -I'm Brad. This is our friend Brad. He's gonna join us for some Hitman and right just before we started
He said he's not usually on camera and then asked if we had hard liquor.
Well, I'm not usually on camera without hard liquor
Oh, okay. It's part of your persona
Well Brad, this is a game called Hitman contracts
And we are playing as a bald man who kills people
It's interesting too because there's the option to be silent generally
but as you can see Adams already killed two men and taken their clothes
That's true, you did it silently. He had a silencer on the pistol.
Normal dudes all- Wait okay! Four guys, two beds
Alistair is ready to order whiskey just like- Oh no! They suspect you already
They already figured it out. I mean these guys are all friends.
Yeah yeah, they notice that one dude isn't the same as he was before.
They went to uni together
They also were all sharing a bed. They're like the grandparents from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
What was that cinematic? I have no idea.
Well it said Alistair wants an alcohol
Yeah, I'll bring it to him. So Alistair must be the guy he's trying to kill
In Hitman the goal of the hitman is to kill someone
I know, I play it all the time. No Adam, not you.
You gotta pick up a whiskey. Pretend you're delivering a whiskey to Brad
Brad if dogs- if you lived in an English manor where would you keep the whiskey?
Wouldn't you have like a whiskey cellar?
Yeah, you would have a whiskey cellar.
Would you kill dogs- *laughter* on your manor?
I mean, if I had a Manor I'd you know I'd kill anything
His name's Brad!
I'd kill anything.
We've infiltrated the manor *clears throat* I was waiting for it
*clears throat more* I heard a little gravel there
I need some of that whiskey. Do you want me to get you a glass?
No, I don't want any its 10:30
"And who might you be?"
You hear that, he had an English accent too! - "Who might you be?"
I don't know, I'm not a hitman!
Brad how many naked women would you keep in your Beldingford manner?
Wait, how is she...?
She's not (Bruce) BRAD, HOW MANY NAKED WOMEN?
(Brad) She's showering in her clothes! Answer the question!
She's got a bonnet on
Put her back in the shower. She's filthy.
Wait, what the fuck? Is that a fake door? Mirror?
Oh yeah, that's a mirror
Wait, that's a glitch. That's a- secret door
Yeah, it's a glass door. Oh, so you can spy on her
That's probably a two-way mirror. It's a secret door.
What? What is he- what is he doing?
He just sat in nothing
Holy shit look at the core strength on that man
Can you do that?
Twist on one leg.
Come on, sit down. Sit down, James!
Brad can you do that? I feel like I can
Well, he's been drinking. Do it with the whiskey in your hand.
Alright, Adam's got the target in his sights. -Yeah.
That other guy's still having the conversation!
Rescue something Northcutt. Oh, I gotta find him.
Is that him? Uh oh.
Why didn't it say mission failed?
I'm guessing the guy is like in the basement or something right? That's typically where you keep somebody?
Oh, yeah, you're right, you're right. Like in the dungeon? -Yeah.
How is this- this one- this guy's gotten everywhere, too
They all dress this way in England. Brad, you just went on a tour of Europe
Do they all look like this? -With the little hats and guns?
I mean maybe during, this- this probably looks how it looked during communism
Wait. Was England ever communism?
Well, I wasn't in England. I was in like Budapest. -Oh.
This actually looks very similar to the place I went in- in Budapest where they like
He's bragging. The executed a bunch of people.
He's bragging right now. They executed a bunch of people down there?
Oh yeah, oh yeah, cause of communism
I'm so tired of Brad bragging about his Europe trip
I'm supposed to go over here.
Do I have to go around? You have to push that.
There's a secret door for sure
Or climb over that. You're supposed to be a hitman, you can't climb over it?
What's the point of interest?
Is that the thing you can't get to? -Yeah.
That's what I'm saying, the guy might be behind this cage
Like I need a key
Oh just shoot the barrel! Oh, is that the whiskey that I was supposed to pour?
Oh, yeah you're probably right. Dammit! Nevermind.
They do have a whiskey basement, just like you said!
Yeah, he was right
I mean, he did go to Budapest for eight weeks or who cares
Bro, I didn't do that! Whoa!
You're dead. -Yeah.
Whoa, that's awesome!
*Laughter* He wasn't even doing anything
That guy didn't even know what was going on
He's like, "You know what? I'm gonna sleep on top of my sheets tonight."
In this game do you ever like, do you ever like have like a
Do you ever kill someone and then find out later that they were really nice people?
Uh yeah, I'd say most of the times. -Most of the time.
Usually you go through their wallet and you see pictures of their family
then you go "Oh man, this guy had a family."
*sad piano music*
But then you go on and you just put another bullet in somebody else's head and move on
That's the life of the hitman
*more sad piano*
So I gotta kill that guy. -I like, so Adam sees the two of them talking and goes
"wait" and then pulls out his iPad so he won't...*laughs*
"Is this the guy I'm killing?"
He has to compare the picture
Look at that butler go! This other guys keeping his cool, though.
*cartoon boing* Haha, nice- whoa!
And then he Jackie Chan'd *Bruce laughing*
Alright so this is a butler with a giant shotgun
I like that he puts it in his pocket
Here's the graph. You're gonna try and poison whiskey?
Here you are, sir!
Wait until Alistair is ready for a drink. -Oh!!
Not thirsty, eh? Well, that's why, they're drunk, okay I see
This guy, I like this- let him live
Drag the body onto him
Oh yeah that's a good idea, that's a really good idea
Let's see how far we can push this
Wacky party! -This is a good night he's having
I mean he doesn't know, maybe this is something he normally does with his friend
Maybe the butler comes in drags the body around and he's like
Guards now looking for a suspicious butler
Wait, how do they know? -Because they found a dead butler
That guy is no threat whatsoever
Whoa, there he goes. Oof, oh boy here they come
You don't need to be the butler, just go in and shoot him -Yeah, you don't need to be the butler
I guess I have to kill the butler though, sadly
That's okay, alright yeah, everyone else can sorta stay alive
*laughs* that drunk guy...
He's gonna wake up with a killer headache and a big surprise
So how do I get in here? I don't know, look for Giles?
It says get into the stables and find the room with the TV, which is in the western section of the stables
That's sweet. -Take the stable key hanging on the wall beside the TV
Oh my god, don't- don't shoot the horses! -The horses have warned the guards.
Well it's because they saw your gun. Those horses betrayed you!
Yeah, who's that?
He's winning- winning, is it called?
Whinnying . -Winninging
Don't rat me out, you son of a bitch! -He's looking for Giles!
Don't kill him, make him watch you kill the horses first
I think hes gone
Dammit, the horses gave away my location
What do you mean, the horses gave away your location?
He's in here!
You- shut the fuck up
There we go, finally put 'em down. -Oh, that's rude!
*sad piano from earlier*
Oh, where's he going? -Leading me to the TV room
There's the TV room! -Thank you, go to bed.
Oh, you broke his nose
Fuck you, asshole!
I'm a Northcott, you understand? My father is rich, he's very- Is that Woody Allen?
That is not an English accent
I don't know how I got in the stables! I'm a Northcott, you understand?
There's nobody here, Soon-yi! Get me out of this stable
For those of you watching, Woody Allen is a director
and a pedophile -an actor
and a pedophile
And potential accused pedophile who made movies that none of you have seen
Okay escape. Disable satellite transmissions? -Oh yeah do that too for fun
Ah, my TV's broken! Yeah, good luck seeing the game
What the fuck? Why would- who cares?
They're all dead
Can you do silent takedowns in this, like, like with Assassin's Creed? -Ohhhh.
Watch, he'll do one for you right now, Adam demonstrate.
Oh dear, look the other way!
I don't think he's noticed, play it cool. -Really?
Play it cool
Weird, right? Oh shit
Oh boy Fuck!
He got ya, he got ya! -Oh man
Sorry, I- I screwed up Adam -You thought you were so cool
He really caught on when you shot him in the face
What the fuck!?
This is it? Yeah. -What are you talking about?
He just needs to get on his raft, yeah? There's your bodies.
That's like BioShock Infinite
I did it, mission accomplished. -All right!
But you killed the guy? -We won.
Brad we won, look. Your reward is a cinematic, opening the rich world that is Hitman
A lot of times people feel as though
that a good story needs a charismatic lead
Well, Hitman proves the opposite
Next time on Hitman
Did you see my cool Matrix move?
Ooh, what'd you get? CZ-2000??
It's a gun
There's a bunch of guns in here
Hold on, check for other stuff- Ohhh!!
Oh boy, oh boy, how'd they know?
The screaming probably
What time is it?
Oh well alright alright, so you can't do that I can I just have to-