Hey, it's Mark here from Make Him Yours and today I was inspired to do a video by a
story that happened to a client and also something that happened to me. I'm going
to show you one sign of true confidence in a woman. Stay tuned!
I was inspired to do this video by a couple of client stories that have come
up in recent weeks. The first one was last night. It was a client who had been
messaging a man online, but about a week ago the conversation had fizzled. Now, she
showed me the conversation and the conversation fizzling was kind of her
fault. She hadn't really continued it and the man had stopped replying. Now, in this
case, she really liked the guy. She really liked his profile and she really did
want to meet up with him, but it had now been a week and I said to her "you need
to message him again," and she said "no, I don't want to, like I
don't want to risk that rejection," and she was very hesitant. The second client
was a client who came to me a couple of weeks ago for her discovery call. She was
a beautiful young woman and she said "I think that my boyfriend or the guy that
"I've at least been seeing for a few months, who things had been going great
with, he's about to break up with me. He's taken space for the last week or so and
now he's called me saying he wants to meet up and that we need to chat." She
said, "I'm pretty sure... my intuition is telling me that he's going to end things.
How do I handle this conversation?" She said, "Here's what I think I should do. I
should go at there, go up to him, show him my self-respect and before anything else
happens I should say I wouldn't want to be with anyone who doesn't want to be
with me and that I should jump the gun to show
him my self-respect." What do these two clients have in common? You'll notice
that the one thing that was the same between both of them, even though the
situation's were very different, was that they were both trying to avoid rejection.
It's a pattern of our society. We're all in the business of trying to avoid being
rejected, avoid being hurt, of avoiding putting ourselves out there. None of us
wants to be the more vulnerable one, anymore. We all say, "well, I
don't want to be the one that gets hurt. I need to put up the shield first." The problem
is that when you put up shields, people's instincts are to put up shields back
with you. What it really is rather than self-respect, is self-preservation. And
because we're all so scared of getting rejected, we don't risk vulnerability and
risk forming a connection that leads to love. So, the first client I told her, "No.
Send him a message. Send her a message that says, 'hey I actually loved your
profile' I'd love to hear more of your stories. This is my number. Give me a call."
For the second client, I said, "No. Don't jump the gun. Don't go in
there and tell him, 'I wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with
me.' that will come through in your actions. Instead, let yourself get
rejected. Show that you're sad." There's no shame in that. There's no shame in being
vulnerable. Put yourself out there to be rejected and if it happens, then you have
the self-respect to walk away. But we're not jumping to putting up our shield.
We're not jumping to defending ourselves. The mark of true confidence... the mark of
a truly confident woman is the fact that she's the one who's okay being rejected.
She's not jumping to defend herself. She knows that she wants to form a deep
intimate and loving connection and she's brave enough to be the one that shows
interest first to risk that, to risk love. I applied this concept in my own life
just a few nights ago. Now, I haven't spent a lot of time myself in the dating
relationships realm for the past 12 months or so. I've been very focused on
the business, but every now and then I'll find myself out at a club and I did so
just a few nights ago. During this time, I made eyes with a particular woman. She
made eyes back and we had a little bit of a dance. It was pretty clear
throughout the night that we were eyeing each other off. Later on in the night,
I walked over to her and we danced more. We spent some time together. And then
suddenly at one moment, and I'm not sure why, she turned, spun around and walked
away;. I was a little confused, but it felt cold. My intuition was telling me
something was off, but I liked this woman. I was attracted to her and I definitely
wanted to get a number and see her again. And so I beckoned her over a couple more
times over the next hour or so, and each time, she wouldn't come. And I was then
put at a cross roads. Had I been rejected? I really wasn't sure. And this is the
point, where most of us will go, "well, I don't want to risk it. I don't want to
risk getting rejected. So I'll just go do my own thing." But no, I wanted to see this
woman again. So I decided, this is it. Put your neck on the line. I walked straight
over to her, beelined halfway across the club and I said, "would you like to dance
with me? I'd love to keep dancing with you." She looked at me and she shook her
head and I said, "thank you," and I walked away
very fricking happy because I knew that I wasn't going home with a single doubt.
I knew that I'd put myself on the line and I knew that I'd never have to wonder.
And just like my client who sent this guy a message online, just like the other
client that called me up and showed her man honesty and integrity and showed
that she didn't want things to end, none of us walked away with any doubts.
None of us walked away with any wonders and we all knew that we gave it our all.
Embrace rejection in your life. Embrace it in your dating. Don't keep putting
yourself out there to the same person and throwing your interest at someone
who doesn't deserve it. But never be scared to embrace rejection and to tell
someone how you really feel. The mark of a truly confident woman is
to risk being vulnerable and is to risk rejection. You just still have to have
the self-esteem to walk away when it isn't reciprocated. Well, that's the video.
Thank you! What do you think? Thoughts, comments, questions. Let me know.
All below. Give the video a thumbs up and hit that big red subscribe button.
Share it around with your friends, if you agree with this concept and agree that
we all need to be more vulnerable and put our necks on the line a little more
in our dating. Thank you again for watching and I'll see you in the next
video very soon.