Where's my wig?
For God sakes--
I just heard that you go there.
I'm at Wilshire Wig, like, at least once a month.
I was just in there a week and a half ago.
What do you do there?
What don't I do there?
This is all built around a wig.
No, every time I start a movie, I start with a wig.
And I want to know what she looks like,
so I go to Wilshire Wig.
Lenia is there.
That's who helped me last time.
Is that her name?
I think-- I think--
Like Kenya-- oh, oh.
Lenya like Kenya.
OK, that's helpful.
And I tried on, like, a million wigs.
And then I find one.
I'm like, oh, it's like this but this color.
And then I do a hybrid, and then we make one.
Well, that's a good idea, because it really
does change your personality when you put a wig on.
It really does.
And that short curly one you had on, I'm a big fan.
I don't-- I would take that and just perm it and let it ride.
I permed this bef--
I mean, when I was, like, 16, I permed it.
Did you do ever a perm?
Did you do a perm?
My Aunt Linda permed my hair, and I
was very short around-- in the fourth grade.
Not like the giant I am now.
And she gave me--
You really shot up.
I really shot up, guys.
The camera messes with it, but I'm 7' 2".
She gave me a short--
I wanted, like--
I don't know.
Because I have poker-straight Marcia Brady hair,
and I wanted something different, and I got it.
Because I had a short, tight, curly perm.
And I was a little round.
And so then this went round.
And there's just a lot of pictures of me
in, like, Terry cloth shorts, like--
Do you have a pic--
you don't have a picture?
Not on me.
(LAUGHING) My God!
You don't carry it?
I wish I did.
How weird would that be?
I'm told I have mine.
They keep mine handy.
This is my perm picture.
Of your perm?
It's kind of like that wig.
And look how happy I was with it too.
The regret is on my face immediately.
Oh, and I love that 45 degree angle
that you had going on there.
It's a lot.
I love it.
So can you--
20 times, you've been on this--
20 seems cra-- oh, wait.
I want to commemorate.
Oh, a bag!
Don't be-- It's--
It's the finest of China.
That's for your 20th.
That's the gift for 20.
That's so nice.
And it may not be China, but it's--
Is this you?
So 20 times-- besides this, obviously,
because you put it on a mug, what is your--
I have a favorite time that you've been on,
but what is yours?
I would have to say--
I mean, one of the--
I think the last time I was on is, to me,
what I like to consider my first heart attack when Billie
Eilish came out of that thing.
And I watched it back, because I--
and I just kind of was like--
I don't think I looked as crazy as I felt,
because I was so panicked.
Because I was like, "I'm going out.
I'm going out."
And I was so sparkly and jittery that I really--
I was like, I'm going to go down.
I'm going to hit the cup, then I'm going to hit the table,
and I'm going to break out all my teeth.
Oh, that's not what we were going for.
And that's all I was thinking about.
And then later I watched it and I was just like--
so I guess that's how I panic.
That was-- it was one of my favorite things
that we've ever done.
Billie Eilish-- and she--
Billie Eilish is-- like, you're a huge fan of her.
She loves you.
And she was about to go on tour.
And she came here just to scare Melissa.
And, like, crawled under the stage--
Crawled under the stage to get-- and was in that box
for so long waiting for the cue.
This is Billie Eilish scaring Melissa.
Her mom was my first improv teacher--
--Maggie Baird, who is amazing.
So they were-- I think when this came out, they were on tour.
Do you know that if she probably--
Oh, my God!
We got those two also.
We got to Elizabeth--
Yeah, everybody was like--
And I would like to think that my instincts of,
like, if I'm really scared, I'd like
to think that I'd be like--
like, do something kind of amazing instead of just like--
Like, I just shut it down.
I shut it down, and I did nothing.
That's what most people do.
Most people-- there are few people that pull their--
and they look like they're going to punch somebody.
And I always worry that that's going to happen,
that our poor, little guy that's in there--
He's someone's kid.
--that he's going to get punched one day.
So we pay him extra.
I mean-- I don't mean poor like he's a little guy.
I just mean--
(LAUGHING) Oh, God.
Just poor, poor, poor guy.
Just a poor, little guy.
Well, he's not a huge guy.
He's in a box.
He's got to be little.
We're not going to put a--
It's getting worse.
--giant guy in there.
Corey is a normal sized man.
For a box.
All right, so-- wait, we're going to take a break,
and then we'll talk about this.
We'll take a break.
I'm so new to this.
We'll be back.
You gave it to Ben--
This was how I say--
--for a birthday present.
--I love you and I'm glad you were born.
OK, do you always give him-- before we show this,
do you always give him strange birthday gifts?
Because it's hard when you're together that--
Yeah, it's been like--
we've been together over 20 years.
So I mean, I feel like his gifts get nicer and more thoughtful,
and mine tend to be getting weirder.
Also because he doesn't want to--
like, he doesn't want to--
if I give him cute clothes or I'm like,
"Oh, you'll look so cute in this," he's like, "Oh, pants."
And there's a visible--
and I can't get him guitars--
Because he has to pick them out.
So then my mind starts to wander and--
So this is where it wandered to.
So this is what she got--
This is the natural jump.
So they painted a portrait-- you gave them a picture of the two
And someone made both of you--
And I said, "What about sad, sad clowns?"
And they did such a good job.
My only note about halfway through,
I was like let's go sadder.
And I said, really, let's darken some of those lines
and let's put a tear here or there.
And Ben just made a very strange wheezing noise
when he opened it.
He was like-- [LAUGHING WHEEZE]
And the girls wanted noth-- they were like, (DISGUSTED)
And Georgie was like, "No!
It's not hanging!
It's not hanging!"
It's about to be.
And I swear I'm going to--
now since I feel like there's been
a challenge, because Georgie really dislikes it, so I
want to have them paint it.
And I want to hang it next to it.
What a great mother you are.
OK, so you've been on the show 20 times,
and this is your 20th time, and you've never done this before.
So today is the day.
We are sending you to Milt & Edie's Drycleaners.
I'm going to put the thing in your ear.
You have to say--
It seems like a terrible idea, right?
It's going to be so good.
So it is going to be Ellen in your ear.
You're going to go to the dry cleaners--
You have to say and do everything I tell you to do.
All right, we're going to send you--
before we go to break, I want to give you a gift
and then you'll head over to the dry cleaners.
But I got something to hang in your home.
Georgette is going to love it.
Oh, my God!
And I'm happy.
I'm a happy clown!
I mean, that's a happy clown.
We'll be back!