Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Jim Gaffigan Explains MAGA Madness as a Fable

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OUR FIRST GUEST IS A HUGELY POPULAR STAND-UP COMEDIAN,

ACTOR, AUTHOR, AND COMMENTATOR ON "CBS SUNDAY MORNING."

WHAT A JOY TO TALK TO HIM TODAY.

AND WE NEED HIM NOW MORE THAN EVER, PLEASE WELCOME MR. JIM

GAFFIGAN IS ON THE SHOW, JIM T IS NO NICE TO SEE YOU, IT HAS

BEEN A CRAZY DAY WITH EVERYTHING GOING ON.

HOW ARE THE GAFFIGANS HOLDING UP?

>> OH MY GOSH, YOU KNOW, I DON'T-- YOU KNOW, WE-- I GUESS

WE HAD THESE NAIVE EXPECTATIONS THAT ONCE 2021 WOULD START THAT

IT WOULD JUST BE ALL, YOU KNOW, GRAVY.

AND LIKE YOU KNOW, CONTEMPLATING WHAT WE ARE GOING TO DO ONCE THE

PANDEMIC IS OVER.

BUT IT IS GETTING CRAZY AND CRAZY AND TODAY IS JUST ABSURD.

IT'S A LEVEL OF ABSURDITY AND LIKE EVERYONE, I WAS WATCHING

SAYING-- THINGS HAPPEN ON THE NEWS.

AND I WAS READING ALONG ON TWITTER.

AND WHAT I THOUGHT OF, WAS BECAUSE HERE I AM KIND OF RIDING

OUT THE PANDEMIC WITH MY FIVE CHILDREN.

I WAS THINKING HOW AM I GOING TO EXPLAIN THIS TO MY KIDS.

OR HOW IS HISTORY GOING TO EXPLAIN IT.

SO MANY PEOPLE WERE DOING SUCH AMAZING COMEN TEAR STUFF ON

TWITTER.

SO I JUST DECIDED TO, I TALKED ABOUT IT FROM A HISTORICAL

PERSPECTIVE, KIND OF LIKE YOU KNOW IN MY MIND, WE'VE ALL

WALKED THIS SLOW BUILD OF THIS CHAOS, YOU KNOW, AND SO WHAT

CAME TO MIND WAS THIS IDEA.

AND THEN THE TRUMP SUPPORTERS STORMED THE CAPITOL BUILDING,

AND THE REPUBLICANS STILL DID NOTHING.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

IT'S JUST THIS WEIRD THING.

YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT, EVEN WHEN YOU DID MAYBE I'M

AMAZED, I MEAN THATS WITH A LIFETIME AGO, YOU KNOW WHAT I

MEAN.

>> IT WAS A DECADE AGO.

YOU ARE RIGHT, BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE THERE HAVE BEEN SO MANY

INSTANCES OVER THE PAST, CERTAINLY 12 MONTHS.

ACTUALLY FOUR YEARS, REALLY, WHERE I'VE HAD THE FEELING OR I

HAVE HAD THE CONVERSATION WITH MY LIFE, HOW DO WE EXPLAIN THIS

TO THE KIDS.

BECAUSE THEY'LL SEE SOMETHING GOING ON.

AND I THINK THAT'S QUITE AN INTERESTING WAY TO DO IT REALLY

IS TO THINK ABOUT IT AS BEING IN THE PAST.

AND THEN THIS HAPPENS, DO YOU KNOW, WHICH IS HOW YOU EXPLAIN

TERRIBLE ATROCITIES THROUGHOUT HISTORY TO CHILDREN.

AND.

>> YEAH, SO I DID, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU WANT ME TO READ THESE, IT

IS FUNNY BECAUSE I WAS, YOU KNOW, BEFORE THIS I HAD DINNER

WITH MY KIDS AND I ENDED UP READING THEM TO THEM.

BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY, WE'RE ALL KIND OF GOING THROUGH THIS.

AND WHATEVER -- HOWEVER WE DIGEST THIS OR THE LEVEL OF CAR

THAR SIS WE CAN GRASP ON TO IS WHAT WE ARE HOLDING ON TO.

AND THEN THE TRUMP SUPPORTERS STORMED THE CAPITOL AND THE

REPUBLICAN PARTY STILL DID NOTHING.

AND THEN SOMEONE COMMENTED THEN WHAT HAPPENED, DADDY.

THIS GUY JOE REYNOLDS, THEN WHAT HAPPENS, AND SO THEN I JUST KIND

OF PLAYED OFF IT.

THEN WHAT HAPPENED, DADDY, WELL, THEN TRAITORRIST COWARDLY

REPUBLICAN PRAISED THAT PEOPLE WOULD FORGET ABOUT THEIR

SEDITIOUS BEHAVIOR, DADDY, DID PEOPLE FORGET THAT REPUBLICANS

CAVED TO EVERYTHING TRUMP WANTED?

OUT OF FEAR OF FACING A PRIMARY CHALLENGE?

WELL, SON, THAT IS WHY WE TELL THIS STORY.

SO PEOPLE KNOW THE REPUBLICAN PARTY WAS REBRANDED.

THEY HAVE TO BE.

DADDY, WHAT IS REBRANDED.

>> IT IS WHEN A PRODUCT OR IN THIS CASE A POLITICAL PARTY IS

SO TOXIC THAT THEY MUST HIDE WHO THEY ARE.

WOW, THOSE REPUBLICANS WERE COWARDLY, DADDY.

>> YES, SON, THEY WERE, AND THEY STILL ARE, BUT THEY WERE ALSO

WILDLY AMBITIOUS, TED CRUZ, MARCO RUBIO AND JOSH HAWLEY ALL

KNEW BETTER, BUT THEY WERE CONSUMED WITH AMBITION.

AND AMBITION FOR WHAT, DADDY, TO BE PRESIDENT.

THAT'S RIGHT, SON, THEY WANTED TO TAKE OVER THE REPUBLICAN

PARTY WHEN TRUMP WENT TO JAIL.

OR THEY WANTED TO BE A BIG JOB ON FOX NEWS.

>> DADDY, WHAT WAS FOX NEWS, WAS THAT A NETWORK.

>> WELL, FOX NEWS WAS THE PROPAGANDA ARM OF THE REPUBLICAN

PARTY FILLED WITH CRAZY MEN AND MOSTLY BLOND WOMEN.

>> DADDY S THAT WHY PEOPLE MAKE DUMB BLOND JOKES.

>> HA HA HA, NOT ALL BLOBDS ARE.

>> I USED TO HAVE BLOND HAIR.

>> YOU HAD HAIR WHEN TRUMP WAS PRESIDENT.

>> A LITTLES WITH AND IT GOES ON AND ON.

AND IT'S JUST, IT WAS SOMETHING THAT WAS CATH ARTHIC TO KIND OF

DIGEST THIS CHAOS BECAUSE WE ALL HAVE KNOWN ALL THESE-- IT IS SO

WEIRD TO WITNESS THIS, AND SEE IT HAPPEN AND SEE THESE PEOPLE

THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO KEEP HIM IN CHECK NOT DO IT OUT OF WHAT I

BELIEVE IS FEAR.

AND IT IS JUST, IN THE END YOU HAVE TO HAVE SOME PRINCIPLES.

>> James: WHAT IS STRANGE, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT KIND

OF IN THE SORT OF MAYBE MONTH LEADING UP TO THE ELECTION, I

FIND MYSELF HAVING CONVERSATIONS WITH PEOPLE AND THEY SAY THINGS

LIKE IT'S GOING TO GET REALLY UGLY.

YOU WATCH, IT'S GOING TO GET REALLY UGLY.

THERE'S GOING TO BE SOME REAL CIVIL UNREST.

AND THEN THE ELECTION HAPPENED AND OBVIOUSLY IT TOOK LONGER

THAN PERHAPS PEOPLE THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO.

AND BY THE SUNDAY WHEN BIDEN WAS ANNOUNCED, IS IT GOING TO, IT

SORT OF DIDN'T.

AND THEN NOW WITH THE RUNOFF IN GEORGIA, SEEING WHAT HAS

HAPPENED TODAY, PART OF ME FEELS LIKE, WELL, WHO COULD HAVE

PREDICTED THIS, OH, THAT'S RIGHT, EVERYONE.

LIKE WE KNEW THAT IT WAS-- IT WAS COMING AT SOME POINT.

IT WOULD JUST SORT OF BUBBLE UP IN THAT WAY, YOU KNOW.

>> WELL, I THINK IT'S INCREDIBLE BECAUSE I'M NOT A POLITICIAN, I

USED TO DO STANDUP COMEDY, I WOULD LIKE TO RETURN TO IT

EVENTUALLY ONE DAY, I LIKE TO ACT.

BUT THE THING IS, THE REASON I'M NOT A POLITICIAN IS BECAUSE I AM

A COWARD.

THE REASON I RESPECT THE MILITARY IS BECAUSE OF THEIR

BRAVERY.

AND THE POLITICIANS ARE SUPPOSED TO STAND UP FOR THE PRINCIPLES

THAT THEY BELIEVE IN.

THEY WANTED TO SERVE THE GREATER GOOD.

AND SO I AM NOT SAYING THAT POLITICIANS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE

PERFECT BUT LIKE AT LEAST DO SOME OF IT.

YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE I UNDERSTAND THAT THESE PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO

BE PRIMARIED OR THEY WANT TO BE ABLE TO GO TO THEIR COUNTRY CLUB

AND NOT BE HARASSED.

BUT LIKE YOU GOT TO DO YOUR JOSH.

YOU GOT TO DO YOUR JOB.

IT'S LIKE ALL THESE PEOPLE THAT ARE PROTESTING, I DON'T

NECESSARILY BLAME THEM.

I BLAME THE INABILITY OF PEOPLE JUST TO STAND UP TO WHAT WE KNOW

IS A BULLY.

AND IT IS WEIRD, AS A PARENT AND BEING TRAPPED WITH MY FAMILY FOR

TEN MONTHS, IT ONLY HEIGHTENS THE RESPONSIBILITY.

IT'S LIKE OUR KIDS ARE WATCHING.

IT'S LIKE, IT'S NOT AS IF HISTORY IS NOT GOING TO REVEAL

THAT TRUMP WAS WILDLY CORRUPT, THAT THESE REPUBLICANS THAT

WHATEVER, THAT MITCH MCCONNELL SPEECH WAS THE RIGHT THING TO

DO, THAT IT WAS RIGHT FOR ROMNEY TO STAND UP AND SAY WHAT HE SAID

IT IS LIKE HISTORY IS GOING TO SHOW THIS.

SO ARE YOU DOING IT SO YOU CAN ENJOY YOUR APPETIZER AT A

COUNTRY CLUB?

IT IS LIKE HOW SHORT SIGHTED CAN YOU BE.

ANYWAY, THAT IS WHY I AM RUNNING FOR SENATOR.

NO, I'M NOT.

I DON'T WANT TO BE A POLITICIAN.

IT IS WEIRD BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE YOU AND I, NOT ONLY ARE WE, YOU

KNOW, WE'RE KIND OF LIKE YOUR BRITISH VERSION OF ME AND--

THERE IS PART OF ME THAT I FEEL THERE IS A CERTAIN, I DON'T

WANT TO YOU KNOW LIKE-- I LIKE OBSERVING POLITICS.

I DON'T WANT TO BE INVOLVED.

I AM A FAN OF DEMOCRACY, I'M A FAN OF PEOPLE THAT SERVE,

PEOPLE, THE MILITARY, THESE POLITICAL LEADERS THAT GIVE

THEIR LIVES TO SERVE THEIR COMMUNITY.

I HAVE RESPECT FOR THAT BUT I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT.

I WANT THE NEWS TO BE BORING AGAIN.

AND IT IS ALMOST AS IF, AND I'M SPEAKING TO YOU, IT IS LIKE WE

KEEP GETTING DRAGGED INTO THIS.

STAND NOT KIND OF IN MY PERSONALITY,.

>> James: NOT IN ANYWAY.

THAT IS HOW I FEEL ALL THE TIME.

I MEAN LOOK, WE'RE DOING THIS SHOW IN MY GARAGE BECAUSE OF AN

ABSOLUTE LACK OF LEADERSHIP AND CLEAR MESSAGING, THAT IS WHAT IT

IS DOWN TO.

ALL OF IT.

YOU WOULD THINK, YOU WOULD THINK THAT, IT WAS INTERESTING YOU

SAYING THAT, ABOUT THE MITCH MCCONNELL, THE RUBIO, THE TED

CRUZS.

YOU WOULD THINK THAT THEY WOULD LOOK AT, YOU KNOW, SOMEONE LIKE

STACEY ABRAMS AND WHAT SHE HAS MANAGED TO DO.

AND THE VOLUME OF SUSPECT THAT IS COMING HER WAY AND RIGHTLY

SO.

AND SHOULD CONTINUE TO DO SO BECAUSE OF DECADES FOR WHAT SHE

HAS DONE FOR, YOU KNOW, ON THE GROUND, GROUND ROOTS POLITICS.

YOU WOULD THINK IN A WAY THEY WOULD LOOK AND GO OH, I

SHOULD-- I SHOULD BE MORE LIKE THAT, THAT-- I SHOULD HAVE-- I

SHOULD STAND FOR SOMETHING.

>> RIGHT?

IT'S-- FOR ME IT'S JUST MADNESS BECAUSE I DON'T BELIEVE THE 74

MILLION PEOPLE THAT VOTED FOR TRUMP, I DON'T THINK THEY WANTED

THIS.

THEY DIDN'T WANT PEOPLE STORMING THE CAPITOL.

BUT THEY WERE PRESENTED WITH A DECISION AND THEY CHOSE WHAT

THEY THOUGHT WAS THE LESSER OF TWO EVILS.

I DISAGREE COMPLETELY.

BUT IT'S JUST LIKE, YOU KNOW, IT BOTHERS ME, IT KIND OF LIKE,

DURING THIS PANDEMIC I HAVE HAD TO BECOME THIS MORNING PERSON

WHERE I HAVE TO WAKE EVERYONE UP.

I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT BUT THAT'S MY RESPONSIBILITY AS A

PARENT.

AND THE FACT THAT LIKE YOU KNOW, I DON'T WANT THIS, USE MY SOCIAL

MEDIA TO KIND OF TAKE THESE SWIPES AT THESE COWARDS.

I WANT TO DO FOOD JOKES.

I WANT TO, YOU KNOW, TALK ABOUT BEING LAZY.

I WANT TO ROMANT SIZE THE DORM ANSI OF WHAT I ASPIRE TO.

BUT IF NO ONE ELSE IS GOING TO DO IT, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN,

IT'S STRANGE.

YOU KNOW, THIS WHOLE PANDEMIC HAS CHANGED ME COMPLETELY.

I AM SOMEBODY WHO RAILS AGAINST VEGETABLES AND THEN DURING THE

PANDEMIC I GREW A GARDEN.

I AM SOMEBODY WHO CRITICIZED AND MADE FUN OF HIKING BUT DURING

THE PANDEMIC IT IS THE MOST SAFE FORM OF EXERCISE OUTSIDE YOU CAN

DO.

AND YOU CAN DO IT WITH YOUR KIDS.

AND YOU KNOW IT'S LIKE I DID FIVE MINUTES ON WINTER

ACTIVITIES AND HOW RIDICULOUS THEY ARE AND MADE FUN OF

CANADIANS FOR HAVING OUTDOOR FESTIVALS.

AND YOU KNOW, IN EARLY DECEMBER I BOUGHT A PAIR OF CROSS COUNTRY

SKIS BECAUSE I AM ESSENTIALLY, I'M DISMANTLING MY WHOLE ACT.

>> James: HANG ON, WHY WOULD YOU BUY CROSS COUNTRY SKIS.

>> BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN WAITING OUT THIS PANDEMIC WITH MY

FAMILY.

AND TO GET OUT AND TO HAVE SOME KIND OF, SOME TIME ALONE.

IT'S JUST SOMETHING THAT IT IS STRANGE.

AND THERE IS SOMETHING PEACEFUL ABOUT IT, HAVE I ONLY DONE IT

TWICE.

I DID IT AS A TEENAGER AND DES PIESED IT.

BUT LIKE I DON'T KNOW, THIS IS, LIKE IF THIS PANDEMIC GOES ON

FOR ANOTHER THREE MONTHS I WILL PROBABLY BE A VEGETARIAN.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN.

>> James: BUT THE CROSS COUNTRY SKIING MAKES NO SENSE TO

ME.

BECAUSE IT FEELS LIKE IT'S SLOWER THAN WALKING.

I FEEL LIKE THE SKIS DOWN HILL I UNDERSTAND.

SOMEONE AT ONE POINT WENT WE NEED TO GET DOWN THERE FAST.

>> WELL, IF WE SLIDE DOWN ON THESE IT WILL BE FASTER.

BUT KRS COUNTRY SKIS IT JUST SEEMS TO ME TO JUST BE GOING-- ,

IS EXHAUSTING.

>> IT IS THE ELLIPTICAL T IS THE NORDIC TRACK, THAT IS WHAT CROSS

COUNTRY SKIING IS, BUT THERE IS SOMETHING KIND OF PEACEFUL AND

YOU KNOW, DURING THE PANDEMIC, YOU KNOW, I NORMALLY TRAVEL

CONSTANTLY.

I'M NORMALLY GOING OUT TO DINNER AFTER A SHOW, THAT IS MY BIG

REWARD, EATING 10,000 CALORIES.

AND SO I HAVE BEEN KIND OF HEALTHY.

AND SO CROSS COUNTRY SKIING IS A GREAT FORM OF EXERCISE.

OF COURSE THE SNOW ALL MELTED SO YOU KNOW, WE HAVEN'T HAD THAT

MUCH OPPORTUNITY FOR IT BUT IT IS A GOOD FORM OF EXERCISE TOO.

BUT I'M LOSING MY MIND.

>> James: IT GETS YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE, BECAUSE YOU LIKE I, I

HAVE THREE CHILDREN, YOU HAVE FIVE CHILDREN, HOW IS THAT WITH

THE ONLINE SCHOOLING?

HOW IS THAT GOING IN YOUR HOUSE.

>> WE'RE DONE WITH CHRISTMAS BREAK.

AND WE'RE DOING DISTANCE LEARNING BECAUSE WE WANTED IT TO

BE AS HARD AS POSSIBLE.

AND ALSO MY WIFE IS HIGH RISK.

AND AS SHE DESCRIBES IT, I'M A FAT OLD GUY, SO I AM HIGH RISK

TOO.

AND SO IT IS SO ABSURD, LIKE WHEN WE-- WAS HAPPENING I

REMEMBER BACK THE PREVIOUS YEARS WHERE IT WAS LAKE ARE THE KIDS

GOING TO MAKE IT UP TO MIDNIGHT.

AND MY KIDS DON'T GO TO BED UNTIL LIKE 1 IN THE MORNING.

I'M TALKING ABOUT MY EIGHT YEAR OLD.

AND THIS IS ME TRYING TO GET HIM TO SLEEP BECAUSE MY OLDEST IS 16

AND MY YOUNGEST IS EIGHT.

SO THEY ALL ERR ON THE OLDEST WORK HABIT.

THEY ARE TOTAL NIGHT PEOPLE.

SO NOW WE'RE GOING BACK INTO DISTANCE LEARNING, SO IT IS LIKE

GET OUT OF YOUR BED.

SIT IN THE CHAIR AND TRY AND, YOU KNOW, IT'S A HARD THING TO

ASK ANY 15 YEAR OLD TO DO.

BUT I DON'T KNOW, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO.

YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST GROUNDHOG DAY OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

>> James: THE 15 YEAR OLD, THE PARENTS OF 15 YEAR OLD, 15 TO

SORT OF-- 14 DO 17, 18 ARE THE PARENTS THAT I FELT MOST FOR IN

ALL OF THIS, BECAUSE OUR KIDS ARE 9, 6 AND 3 WHICH IS I WHICH

I THINK, WE'RE JUST OKAY.

BUT THE NOTION OF BEING 16 AND APPROXIMATING TOLD YOU JUST HAVE

TO STAY IN THE HOUSE WITH YOUR PARENTS, IF I THINK BACK, I

WOULD DO ANYTHING TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE.

I WOULD SIT ON A WALL OUTSIDE A SHOP WITH MY FRIENDS DOING

NOTHING JUST TO BE SOMEWHERE ELSE.

HOW HAS THAT BEEN?

HAS THAT BEEN-- .

>> IT IS REALLY, YOU KNOW, IT IS A SACRIFICE.

I MEAN WE ARE ALL ABOUT, IT IS A BALANCING ACT.

PAUSE YOU DIDN'T WANT THEM, YOU DON'T WANT THEM TO SPEND, LIKE

PRIOR TO THE PANDEMIC YOU DIDN'T WANT THEM TO SPEND ALL THIS TIME

JUST ONLINE.

BUT NOW THAT IS HOW THEY SOCIALIZE AND THAT IS THE SAFEST

WAY TO SOCIALIZE.

AND SO THERE IS SOME OF THAT, PU THEN THERE IS ALSO, AND IF THEY

ARE GETTING THE GRADES HOW CAN YOU STOP THEM.

YOU KNOW, YOU WANT THEM TO HAVE SOME MENTAL STABILITY.

SO MY 15, MY 16 YEAR OLD IS LIKE A SAINT.

SHE'S PERFECT.

MY 15 YEAR OLD SON HAS THE NEW PS5.

SO HE SHOULD BE GOOD TILL LIKE MARCH MAYBE.

BUT THEN I DON'T KNOW.

IT IS AMAZING ANYONE, ANY RELATIONSHIP IS SURVIVING THE

PANDEMIC.

PRIOR TO THE PANDEMIC WHEN YOU HEAR ABOUT A COUPLE BREAKING UP,

YOU WOULD BE LIKE THAT'S SO SAD.

AND NOW YOU HEAR ABOUT PEOPLE BREAKING UP AND YOU ARE LIKE OF

COURSE, OF COURSE THEY BROKE UP.

THEY'RE DEALING WITH THE PANDEMIC, WHAT ELSE WOULD

HAPPEN?

NO ONE WANTS TO SPEND THIS MUCH TIME WITH ANYONE.

>> James: BUT YOU MANAGE, YOU SHOT A MOVIE DURING LOCKDOWN,

YOU SHOT THE FILM LINOLEUM WHICH I'M REALLY EXCITED TO SEE, IT

COMES OUT LATER THIS YEAR WHAT IS IT ABOUT, WHO DO YOU PLAY IN

THIS MOVIE?

>> IT WAS AN AMAZING OPPORTUNITY.

ST A REALLY, FIRST OF ALL I GOT TO WORK WITH RAY SEE MORE AND

HE'S AMAZING, THERE ARE A GREAT BUNCH OF GREAT ACTORS BUT I PLAY

THIS GUY WHO IS SOMEONE WHO ALWAYS ASPIRED TO BE AN

ASTRONAUT AND HE HAS HIS CHILDREN'S SCIENCE SHOW AND HE

ESSENTIALLY LOSES HIS JOB ON THIS KID'S SCIENCE SHOW TO THIS

GUY WHO WAS AN ASTRONAUT WHO LOOKED EXACTLY LIKE HIM SO I GET

TO PLAY BOTH PARTS AND THEN THAT GUY HAS, HE ACTUALLY HAS A

ROCKET LAND IN HIS BACKYARD, OUR MAIN CHARACTER, SO HE DECIDES TO

BUILD HIS ON OWN ROCKET T IS ABSURD BUT IT WAS SO FUN TO

WORK.

BUT IT WAS WEIRD BECAUSE EVERYONE HAD MASKS.

I'M SURE THAT, YOU KNOW, THESE SAFETY PROTOCOLS THAT ARE VERY

KIND OF THOROUGH WITH WHERE EVERY COUPLE OF DAYS YOU ARE

TESTED.

BUT NONE OF THE PERFORMERS, YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU WERE ACTING YOU

DIDN'T HAVE TO WEAR A MASK BUT OTHERWISE EVERYONE WAS TOTALLY

MASKED.

SO IT WAS A LITTLE BIT LIKE ACTING, LIKE IT WAS LIKE THE

ENTIRE CREW WHAT WAS IN A BERKA SO YOU DIDN'T KNOW IF PEOPLE

WERE HAPPY OR SAD WITH YOU.

IT WAS INCREDIBLY EFFICIENT BECAUSE EVERYONE FOCUSED ON

THEIR JOB.

THERE WASN'T EVEN KIND OF-- IT WAS STRANGE.

>> James: I DON'T ACTUALLY MIND, I DON'T MIND THE MASK IF

I'M HONEST.

I TELL YOU WHY I LIKE THE MASK BECAUSE YOU CAN STIEF EL A YAWN.

YOU CAN JUST, LIKE THAT IS MY WORST PART OF IF I DAY IS IF I

AM TALKING TO SOMEONE, THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT THEY ARE

SAYING, THEY COULD BE FASCINATING BUT I FIND MYSELF

DOING THAT SORT OF-- THE YAWN.

NOW WITH THE MASK ON, I AM FREELY YAWNING BUT STILL WHRIS

ENING, NO ONE IS OFFENDED.

I DON'T MIND IT.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH THE MASK?

>> MY PROBLEM WITH MASKS ARE THAT I HAVE A HUGE HEAD THAT IS

NOT MASK FRIENDLY.

SO IT IS VERY-- LIKE THIS IS, I DON'T KNOW WHAT SIZE THIS IS,

LIKE 3XL.

AND THIS BARELY COVERS IT.

I USUALLY, MOST MASKS MY BEARD IS DOWN LEER AND IT IS ALWAYS

KIND OF COMING BACK.

BECAUSE WHEN I WAS, YOU KNOW, I PLAYED AMERICAN FOOTBALL IN

MIDDLE SCHOOL AND HIGH SCHOOL AND IN MIDDLE SCHOOL, THEY HAD

TO GO TO THE HIGH SCHOOL TO GET ME A HELMET THAT FIT BECAUSE MY

HEAD WAS SO BIG.

METAPHORICALLY AND ACTUALLY.

SO IT WAS-- IT'S JUST A GLAMOROUS EXPERIENCE WITH THIS

HUGE HEAD.

YOU KNOW, LIKE EVEN KNIT CAPS LIKE WHEN YOU GET A RAV PARTY

THEY WILL GIVE YOU A KNIT CAP, MINE DOESN'T FIT OR THE BEANIE

THAT SAGS IN THE BACK, MINE NEVER SAGGED BECAUSE IT COULD

BARELY REACH OVER, IT'S VERY SAD.

>> James: WELL, IT'S A BEAUTIFUL HEAD, AND WE'RE SO

THRILLED THAT IT IS HERE ON THE SHOW.

STICK AROUND, EVERYBODY

The Description of Jim Gaffigan Explains MAGA Madness as a Fable