Practice English Speaking&Listening with: The BUILD Show with JP - John Peitzman Ft Brett Murray

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(upbeat music)

-: Hello everyone, and welcome to The BUILD Show.

I'm John Peitzman, JP,

Certified High Performance Coach

and creator of The BUILD Framework.

I help individuals all over the world

thrive in their personal and professional lives.

And as the host of this show,

our aim is to transform lives one guest at a time,

and we do that by having amazing guests.

And today is no different,

we have with us Brett Murray.

Brett is an author, he's a producer, he's an activist.

He is the CEO of the world's most effective bullying,

education and prevention charity, SAFEHEART Foundation.

Brett authors books that are distributed internationally

and he has written and produced television series

and documentaries for Australian Television Network.

And as if all of that is not enough,

he is also, and this is huge,

a five time nominee for Australian of the Year.

It's truly an honor to have him with us here today.

Brett, welcome to The BUILD Show.

-: JP thank you for having me.

-: Five time nominee.

-: Yeah.

-: Congratulations.

-: Yeah, haven't got the gong yet, but--

-: Yeah, but we're going to bring it home, right?

-: Absolutely.

-: So, that must be huge honor.

-: It is, it's huge.

It's been Australia's highest honor

and to be nominated once was amazing,

but to have five nominations in the last 11 years

is pretty special.

-: Yeah, that is amazing.

So what are you excited about right now as we sit here?

-: Oh, wow.

What isn't there to be excited about?

I mean COVID is sort of been one of those things where

it's thrown everyone into a bit of mayhem,

but it's given us a new opportunity to really focus on

where the direction of the charity is going,

and that's really, we call it going upstream.

You mentioned that

we're a bullying education prevention charity,

and we deal with domestic violence as well.

And all the research points to one common denominator

and that is the influence that men have,

or the lack of influence that men are having.

So positive male role modeling and fathers

lost in this modern society.

We've got up to three generations of young people

growing up without a positive male role model.

Most kids who are victims of bullying or are bullies,

don't have a positive male role model or a father figure

in their life and--

-: Right, so that's the causation mostly?

-: That's the causation, yes.

So we're going upstream.

And majority of perpetrators of domestic violence

are male and men.

So we've decided,

well let's instead of putting a bandaid on a bullet hole,

let's go upstream, go to ground zero

and help men be better men.

And so what we're doing now is

we've really shifted our focus over the last two years

to now work with men and help men be men of courage,

character and conviction.

-: That's so important and so amazing.

And if I may ask, how did you get into this stream

of profession?

-: Oh, wow.

Well, as a kid growing up in school,

I was chronically bullied.

JP: Really?

-: I wasn't six foot one, and you know almost 90 kilos

sitting before you now.

I was the runt of the litter.

I was a littlest kid in my year.

I only went to year 10 in school,

which is, I don't know what that is equivalent

in American high school terminology.

It probably end of middle school.

-: But yeah, it didn't go into year 11 and 12

because I was chronically bullied, bashed every day.

I was the kid who was just the punching bag for everyone.

And, and I was a late developer.

So when boys are hitting puberty at 15, 16, I wasn't.

And so they're much stronger.

They got the strength of a man

and I've got the strength of a boy.

So I couldn't fight my way back.

And yeah, it was just something that I just...

It literally destroyed my education in that sense.

I left school as soon as I could, got out of there.

-: Did you know then that you would do something

in your life to help this very important issue

or did that come later?

-: I don't think so.

Well, life is a journey,

it's never a destination, as we know.

And the journey just sort of...

I made this decision that I had been so badly treated

by the guys that I thought were my friends

or my peer group,

that when I left school and then I left home,

I moved out of home at the age of 16

and I wanted a clean slate.

I wanted to get away from my neighborhood

where everyone knew me.

And so I moved to the south coast of New South Wales

to a place called Wollongong, just South of Wollongong.

And it was actually a place called Kiama, beautiful place.

And started all over again,

really had a clean slate.

And I just made a decision that

I knew what it was like to be mistreated.

So I would never allow someone to be mistreated.

So I sort of had this mantra if you like,

that anyone who came into contact with Brett Murray

had to walk away feeling valued

through a positive experience.

So I just want it to be one of those...

you know when you have a conversation with someone

or you have an interaction with someone

and you just walk away going,

"Man, they're awesome.

I'd love to catch up with them again."

I want it to be that guy.

-: People remember how they feel and not what you said.

-: Exactly, yeah.

So I just wanted to make people feel awesome

because I knew what it was like to feel horrible.

And so I wanted to be that guy that everyone liked.

And just life's journey, just sort of unfolded.

I just found myself volunteering in a lot of youth work

through surfing.

Surfing was a passion and an escape, so--

-: Yeah, are you still a surfer?

-: Yes.

-: Yeah, okay.

-: Very very passionate.

I was actually a sponsored surfer for about 20 years, so.

-: Awesome, look at this.

Australian of the year, sponsored surfer.

-: Yeah, yeah.

-: You got it all going on.

-: Being able to do a lot of things

which you look back and go,

"Oh, wow, isn't that amazing?"

But I mean, I think what I love about what you're doing JP

it's the relationships you build along the way,

which matter the most.

That's not the accolades.

-: So, yeah.

And life's journey just...

You know I started to win surfing competitions

and then our local youth leader sort of said to me,

"Hey, my nickname's Chipper."

So he was out in the water and he said,

"Hey, Chipper, the kids locally,

"they don't talk about you much at the parties,

"the party scene."

I said, "Well, no, I want to become a world champ.

"Like I'm not going to go and get smashed."

-: I'm practicing.

-: And he goes,

"I speak at schools, can you come in and just share that?"

And I said, "why would I do that?"

And he goes, "I'll buy your lunch."

I went, oh okay, I'm in.

(laughs)

-: Anything for free lunch?

-: Yeah anything for a free feed.

And so I went and spoke to these year 11 and 12 kids.

And I would have been in year 11.

So these are kids that are older than me, bigger than me.

And I walk in and they're just silent

and they're hanging on every word I said.

And I'm like, this is really cool.

-: Right, they're listening to me.

Brett: Yeah, normally people who would bash me.

Are now listening to me.

-: And respecting you.

-: Because of my ability of surfing.

They knew me as Chipper,

the guy who worked in the local surfboard shop.

I was a spray painter at the time,

that's why I moved out of home,

got the job at the south coast in a surfboard factory

spraying and designing surfboards.

And so that was like the dream job

and living on the gold coast.

And so now I'm the guy who's spraying

some of the custom boards that these kids are ordering

plus on the guy who's beating them all in competitions,

we should listen to him.

And it was like, this is ama...

I'd never experienced anything like it before.

So every opportunity I got to speak.

Can I do that again?

Can I do that again?

And this guy was like, yeah, you can come speak here

and then I'll go to a different school.

We go to a different school.

And that just sort of became something I liked to do.

And I ended up volunteering in a lot of youth work

and speaking, ah, for probably 14 years

before I ever got paid to do it.

So it was just passionate.

And I just found young people.

-: But you got good at it then so you could demand a fee?

-: Yeah, yeah.I mean in that time.

the recession hit in Australia in the early nineties.

So my work with the surfboard industry dried up,

I had to move back to Sydney where the work was.

I used my skills as a spray painter

to become a vehicle painter.

And so working in a panel shop or a body shop.

-: Vehicles that look like surfboard, right?

Brett: No, no.

-: No, not quite, not yet.

Brett: No, and it was just an amazing journey.

And this time round, it was like,

Oh, okay, so I've got to do education

with this apprenticeship.

I have to go to TAFE.

Wow, if I really focus I could do really well.

And so I became apprentice of the year

in New South Wales in my first year,

and then a number two in new South Wales in my second year.

And then I thought, now I've got to be number one.

So I knuckled down and studied and did all my homework

and all the practical,

and I became apprentice of the year in my third year

in theory and practical.

So I was the best spray painting apprentice in the state.

And yeah. So then in my fourth year,

my accolades weren't translating into pay rises at work.

I'm like, hey, I'm this apprentice of the year,

what's going on?

-: Come on, show me the money.

Brett: Exactly. So I went

and found another job closer to me.

I was working in the city, but I'd moved to Western Sydney,

so Northwestern Sydney. So I

decided I want to work closer to home.

And so I found a job that was only 10 minutes drive away.

And as a fourth year apprentice,

you finished your four years

and then you become a tradesman,

you're a qualified tradesman.

But as a fourth year, I was running a shop.

I was, because of my accolades,

they said, okay, well, you run the workshop.

I had guys who had been spray painting

for 20 years under me,

and I've been doing it for four years.

And so I learnt leadership really quickly.

And then through there that timeframe got married

and I was still 21, I got married very young.

And then a couple of years later,

an opportunity opened up in 1999

for me to work at something that I never thought

would be possible.

It was a panel shop that actually

helped disadvantaged youth.

And I'm like, how does this work?

This is unreal.

JP: Perfect.

-: So I became a spray painting teacher.

And so the kids we worked with,

were kids who had a rap sheet,

as long as your arm.

You know they are passionate about cars,

but it was more like stealing them.

And so we would turn their passion into an apprenticeship.

And so I became a spray painting teacher there.

The place was called Handbrake Turn,

giving young people a hand, breaking their predicament,

turning their life around.

JP: Love it, love it.

-: So I worked there from '99,

worked my way up to become the manager.

And in 2000 we were judged by

the International Youth Foundation

as the best working course of its kind in the world.

And we had a 79.25% success rate of kids

who would come in last chance,

if they didn't turn their life around, they go to jail.

And--

-: So, because that's huge, just repeat that.

What was the success rate?

Brett: 79.25%.

-: That's outstanding.

Brett: Yeah, well that's was why--

-: Nothing else has that, right?

-: It was the best in the world.

Anything in the world that was similar,

had less than 30% success rate.

And it was just an amazing experience

and seeing lives turned around and I still now,

you know, all those years later, now, 20 years later,

I have young people, well they're men now,

stopping me in the street saying,

"Brett, you trained me and Handbrake Turn."

I'm like, "Do I know you?"

"Yeah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

"And I'm married now and I've got my own business.

"And thanks mate you saved my life."

And I'm like, wow, that's, you can't--

JP: Nothing else is more important, right?

-: You can't put a dollar value on that.

Yeah, so that was just amazing.

And then from that, got invited to get into politics

because I was on the TV a lot

and the federal member for Parramatta at the time

where we were stationed, he said,

"Ah, you need to get into politics at a state level?"

So I thought, yeah, why not? I'll have a go.

I had no idea what politics was about

and just had to go, didn't win.

And thank goodness, because I'm not a politician.

-: You're a surfer.

(laughs)

-: Yeah, yeah. I speak my mind.

And during that time, funnily enough,

this whole thing about bullying was still there.

I still was dealing with bullies,

but I was dealing with something internally myself.

So I actually got into boxing.

And became a state champion in boxing.

JP: Of course you did.

-: As you do.

And so, I've always sort of had that sort of mentality

life's not a spectator sport, you just got to have a crack.

And so yeah, just was able to overcome

that inner fear inside of me of do I have what it takes.

Because my parents got divorced,

separated when I was nine divorced when I was 11.

Didn't see my dad until I was, from the time I was 11

to the time I was 19.

So I was one of kids who didn't have

a positive male role model.

I'm one of those guys.

And I was a victim of bullying because I didn't have a dad

who was instilling into me my sense of identity,

which is what dads do.

-: So on that, I'm just interested.

Because when I hear that there's no positive role model,

I'm thinking that the kind of framework is that

that provides an environment for them,

the children to become bullies.

But when you're saying it's also the other way

that when there's not a positive role model

from a male standpoint,

then you can also become a victim?

Brett: Yeah, it's an amazing--

-: So it goes both ways?

Brett: Yeah, its an amazing common denominator we found

with the research.

Kids with positive male role models that are involved,

tend not to be victims of bullying

because they have a self confidence.

They just have an air about them

that they're not worried about stuff.

They're not worried about what people think.

They're not worried about trying to fit in

because they know their identity

and they don't want to bully anyone either.

Because people who are confident

are too focused on going after

their dreams, goals, and aspirations

to worry about what else everyone else is doing.

And so that common denominator

of the bullies and the victims

usually having the same traits, was quite amazing.

-: So by addressing that, you're addressing both sides.

Brett: Absolutely, yeah, yeah.

-: And that's what SAFEHEART Foundation--

Brett: SAFEHEART does. -: Is all about.

Brett: Yeah, that's what we do.

Is building safe people and safe places.

And I mean, it's a bit of a throwback to the medieval days.

You look at The Code of Chivalry,

which is over 600 years old

that developed around the time of Knights and maidens.

The only law in The Code of Chivalry

that is repeated twice is respect women.

People don't know this, is a 600 years old.

They had it right back then.

Yet we have domestic violence and family abuse

becoming rampant globally because men are behaving badly.

They don't respect women.

And so we need to change that.

We really need to do that.

And going back to that medieval analogy as well,

whenever a village was under attack,

where would the townspeople go?

They go into the fortress, into the castle

and the knights, The Code of Chivalry,

would be the protectors.

And the men in a nuclear family, father, mother, children

really should be the protectors.

As well, the guardians.

-: Providing a safe place.

Brett: The fortress.

And so, yeah, we want men to become fortresses

for their families.

And so they're not dictatorial autocratic,

horrible taskmasters.

They're servant leaders that love their family

and were willing to give up their lives for their families.

JP: I love that.

And I love the journey you've been on

and I want to go back through it now

in the context of BUILD, right?

Brett: Yeah.

-: So as all of you know, hopefully if you don't,

I'll share it with you right now,

BUILD is an acronym it stands for,

Build Relationships, Understand the Business,

Implement Strategies,

Lead and Inspire and Deliver Excellence.

And what I love about this show and the guests

and the unique insights that come

as we just walk through BUILD,

and we talk about what that means to you

and what insights you want to share

in those different categories with our listeners.

So, and you've talked a lot about it,

you know, along what we did right now,

but I think if we dive more specifically into "B"

to start with 'Build Relationships',

what are some of the most important relationships

that you've had in your life

that have allowed you to become so successful?

-: I think second to none.

Or, yeah, second to none.

I'm a guy of faith.

So I developed a relationship with God

and people are at different levels

and different walks near spirituality,

and I think it's something that Western society

neglect too much is the spiritual side of life.

We are spiritual beings.

And you just look at the different types of spirituality

that are out there.

People are hungry, they're searching, all over the world.

-: Absolutely.

-: Whether it's through different religions

or even different experiences,

there is a spiritual need in our life.

And I believe I found that

through a relationship with Jesus Christ.

And I did a lot of research on it

and made sure it wasn't a quack thing

and the proof is overwhelming.

And so that was the paramount relationship I've developed.

But then secondarily to that would be my wife.

Because we got married so young,

I've never been the perfect husband.

I've made many many mistakes,

but I've learned that you're not an Island unto yourself.

And many times my marriage could have ended,

but I learned a key in that relationship was humility.

And if I'm prepared to say, I'm sorry, I've stuffed up.

Instead of being defensive, like most men do,

and I've been there done that.

But my marriage could have ended many many times,

but it was almost like that just shut up and own it.

-: Like what's more important, right?

The relationship or this particular issue?

Right, wrong or indifferent,

who cares if at the end of it,

you lost the war because you won some stupid battle.

About whatever.

Brett: And here I am now over a quarter of a century,

have been married almost 27 years.

To the same gorgeous woman who I don't deserve.

And we're more on fire now for each other

than what we ever have been.

And there's been some rocky times,

there's been some heartache

that I've made some major mistakes.

And you hear in society,

Oh, you know, once you get married, that's it, fun's over.

It's like, no, what an adventure.

JP: It's the beginning, right?

-: It's a life partner.

And so, yeah that would be the two key relationships,

I would say, a paramount to my life,

had to be right off the beginning, yeah.

-: Love it, thanks for sharing.

So let's move right into "U",

'Understand the Business'. So

certainly you have an amazing understanding of the business,

but as it relates to sharing with our listeners today,

any key elements of understanding the business

that you think are appropriate?

What would that be from your journey?

-: For me, for our charity and for what we do,

we've been in the space now, anti-bullying space

and domestic violence for 17 years.

JP: 17 years.

-: So to understand, I think first and foremost,

the issue of bullying.

People misunderstand what bullying is

and what bullying is not.

And so we had to understand that,

but then understand both the victim and the perpetrator,

because in modern day society, we tend to be victim focused.

Let's stand up for those who don't have a voice,

and that is needed, I'm not dismissing that.

JP: But there's another side?

-: But there's another side, there's perpetrators.

So why?

And in business, we all know that the why is important.

So why do people do what they do?

Why is corporate bullying so rampant?

I mean, the federal productivity commission two years ago

stated that in Australia,

workplace bullying costs our entire economy

almost $36 billion in lost profit.

JP: 36 billion. -: Billion.

So you think of workplaces

where people actually despise their coworkers

because of the way they're being treated.

The morale is low.

Low morale.

JP: The environment, I mean, it just ruins everything.

-: Low morale, low turnover.

And businesses are about usually bottom line.

If you want high turnover, you want high productivity,

you need to have high morale.

So if people are being bullied at work at any level,

they're not going to enjoy coming to work.

They're not going to perform at their peak.

So understanding what bullying does to people as well.

And it's not just a schoolyard thing,

it goes from the school room to the boardroom.

And so I'm--

-: And what does it?

Because earlier you said it's important to understand

what it is and what it isn't.

So how would you educate our audience

so that they can understand what it really is?

-: Well, bullying is longterm, ongoing violence,

threats of violence or antagonisation

where a person or a group of people are disempowered.

There becomes a power imbalance.

So the key words though are longterm, ongoing.

If it's one off, incidences of inappropriate behavior

there incidences, they could be conflict.

-: Still not good, but it's not by definition bullying.

-: Yeah, absolutely.

It's not habitual or there's not a pattern.

And a lot of people flip the script on this,

particularly in the corporate sector,

if they're into say performance-based management.

And if someone's not performing,

so their senior manager comes in says,

"Hey, look, we're reviewing your contract.

"You're not performing well.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think we're going to rehire you

once the contract comes to an end."

Oh, stop picking on me, you're bullying me.

No, it's called accountability.

We need to be adults.

We need to grow up and take responsibility for our actions.

-: So people use that kind of as a shield

to inappropriately shield themselves.

-: Absolutely, and this is where

a lot of businesses fall over

because they don't realize, particularly here in Australia,

that the legislation changed in 2014,

that if you employ more than three people

and you haven't done specific acute anti-bullying training,

you're at risk.

Because a lot of people think,

when we do our induction, that's, you know,

we don't put up with bullying.

We don't put up a sexual harassment, sign here.

JP: We said it, yep, here we go.

-: That's not training.

You haven't told anyone what bullying is.

You haven't even told anyone what sexual harassment is.

So when it actually happens and the victim says,

"Well, we never had any training.

"So I'm just going to go for the juggler."

The law is geared to protect the employee

rather than employer.

But if the employer has provided acute training,

which with what we provide,

then you usually find there's no accusations

and there's actually no complaints.

Because everyone knows,

okay, we have this clear understanding

of what this behavior is,

and why it's not acceptable and what it does.

I want my workplace to become the most awesome place

on the planet to go to work.

So bullying literally just dissipates.

So that's something that we love doing

in the corporate sector.

-: And that's a great understanding for everyone to have,

so hopefully you wrote that down.

So let's move into Implement Strategies now.

So in the category of 'Implement Strategies',

I'm sure you've implemented obviously

a lot of strategies in your lives.

What would you like to share with the audience today

and the listeners about implementing strategies?

-: I think having a clear defined goal

and a strategy towards that goal.

We started off as I said,

anti-bullying or bullying education prevention,

but then we realized bullying was broader

than what we originally thought it was.

Domestic violence became the huge thing,

the whole white ribbon campaign

really made the global community stand up and go,

wow, this isn't good.

And so we had to develop strategies to go,

okay, how do we then educate young people on that?

And so we had to really start to work backwards.

What's the end goal,

we want to build healthy relationships.

JP: So begin at the end in mind in a way.

Figure out what you want to do.

-: And so what we did, and this is really my wife,

I can't take credit for this.

Teresa, my wife, she's the strategist.

I'm sort of like the face and the mouthpiece.

JP: You're the talent.

-: Yes.

But she is the genius behind what we did.

And she said, look,

if we want to stop men being brutal fathers

or husbands or partners, get them while they're young.

So we started to develop a program

and implement the strategy to create a program

that was palatable for high school students

to teach them what a healthy,

positive relationship look like.

Because they're getting all this brutality

through the mainstream media.

JP: Oh, right and everything they watch.

-: Video games. -: Video games.

-: So they're seeing what brutal, horrible,

nasty relationships look like every single day,

but very rarely are they seeing amazing relationships.

Like the divorce rate in Australia is over 52%

and it has been that for quite a long time.

So if you look at 52% of marriages in Australia

end up in divorce,

and 80% of those that have children,

the custody goes to the mother.

So we're having kids growing up void

of any positive male role modeling.

They're not seeing what a really healthy,

positive relationship looks like.

And you know, they watch all of the soap operas on TV.

If they still do that,

or there they've got all the YouTube shows

or all the streaming TV things you can binge on now,

and they're all about "Drama".

It's not about unity.

JP: Because that's what sells.

-: Drama sells,

but unity is boring in a TV sense,

in an entertainment sense,

but to live it it's amazing.

And so we thought, well the strategy was,

how do we implement this strategy of teaching kids?

Well, let's go to the end in mind.

And what we did, we figured out

what an unhealthy relationship was, so we flipped it.

So what's the opposite.

And so we started just sharing with kids

this is what a healthy relationship looks like.

And it was all started with knowing your worth.

If you know what you're worth,

you'll know how to be treated.

And you won't allow yourself to be mistreated.

And most kids grow up in domestically violent families

these days, so they just think that's norm,

that that's just the norm.

So implementing that strategy of

we've got to educate them earlier

was really, really important.

And then from that,

educate the schools as to why we're providing this service.

And then it spun off into okay,

well then let's work with men.

So we can't just sort of shut the gate the horses bolted,

people can change.

Your own life story shows that you can change.

You can grow.

There's always hope.

And so we then implemented the strategy we'll then okay,

we're talking with the kids

and let's go upstream again,

let's start talking to men and saying, okay,

you may have been like this,

you may have experienced this,

but it doesn't have to stay the same.

My dad was violent to my mum,

but I've never been violent to my wife.

I drew the line.

At some stage, I stopped blaming my past,

drew the line and said,

"Okay, well that's a strategy in itself,

"in a personal sense."

-: There you go, stop the cycle.

Brett: Stop the cycle.

-: Take accountability.

Brett: Yeah, and I think implementing strategies

is about making decisions and sticking to them.

It's not about, I'd love to do that.

Oh, what about this?

Oh, squirrel, you know?

Shiny Toy Syndrome

Brett: Yeah, exactly.

It's it's more about,

okay, having a clear defined goal

and then making a decision to implement that strategy

and then sticking to it.

Having a bit of resilience and a bit of tenacity

in saying, look,

we're going to get this thing done.

So I'd say that would be what I've learned.

JP: I love that.

And I love how it's comprehensive too.

It's like, you begin with the end in mind,

but then you make it broader.

And the depth and really expands to include things

that you might not even see in the first issue

of your insight or the vision that you have

-: And that's what life, life will unfold things.

And we don't know everything.

We don't know what we don't know.

But as life, you know,

you start to head towards that goal.

It's like, oh, wow,

as you get closer to the to a destination,

it's like, oh well, I'm going to more--

-: You go deeper and you get more impact then.

No matter if it's domestic violence and bullying or

whatever topic people might be embracing out there

in their own professional journey, that's great.

And that leads to leading and inspiring of course,

obviously you 'Lead and Inspire' I everything you do.

Brett: I try.

-: But what do you have to share

with our listeners about leading and inspiring,

as you sit here today?

Brett: There's an American artist,

singer who I can't claim credit for this.

JP: Are you going to sing a song for us?

-: No way,

but he has a line in a song that I heard

when I was about 16.

He said, you can't lead where you won't go.

You can't teach what you don't know.

And I thought that is so cool. It sounded cool.

It's rolled off the tongue.

But I thought that is so true in leadership.

You can't lead where you won't go.

You can't teach what you don't know.

I mean, isn't that classic.

The joke about physical education teachers,

PE teachers is those who can't do teach.

And those who can't teach do PE.

I didn't want to be one of those guys

and everything I've ever done.

When we started running boot camps for bullies,

we'd take them away and we would wake them up and teach them

that discipline is not a dirty word.

And one of the things I went through boxing was the more

disciplined are the more successful you'll be.

There's that saying...

I think it was Muhammad Ali said,

"The more you sweat, the less you bleed".

You have to live by example.

And as a young person when I started to realize

back in that 'school room' situation as a 16 year old,

these people are listening to me.

Why?

Because I wasn't doing drugs and I was successful in their

sphere of knowledge and influence,

it might've been just local board riders' comps.

JP: But you were role modeling the way.

And they wanted to attain that, so they listened.

Exactly

-: And in that, just personally,

I wanted to be someone worth following.

And you can't say, oh, I'm a leader,

but no one is following you.

You're just a person with a badge or a title

and a badge or a title doesn't make you a leader.

I believe it's a life example.

If you live a life of example and show the way people will

understand that you know the way.

JP: I love that. There's a song in that.

You can coin on that one, right?

"Know the way, show the way."

Brett: Feel free to use it.

-: I'm going to use that.

Brett: So back to that, you can't teach

what you don't know, you can't lead where you won't go.

So yeah, that's my philosophy.

-: Love it. And finally 'Deliver Excellence'.

How do you deliver excellence in everything that you do

and what does excellence mean to you?

-: For me, it's the continual pursuit of becoming better.

Every time I speak, I mean,

I've spoken to well over a million people face to face

in my career, but every time I take the stage,

whether it's something like this or whether it's something

a bit more broad spectrum,

an audience of 5,000 people or a hundred kids

in the classroom,

I want my next presentation to be better than my last.

Always want to be better for, if people say,

we want to engage you to deliver this service,

I want them to say, wow, I would have paid you double,

Because it's so good.

I want to give bang for buck.

I want people to feel valued through an experience with

Brett Murray, with SAFEHEART

to the point where they become your raving fan,

because you've over-delivered.

And that's something I learned through my short political

career is you always under-promise, over-deliver.

JP: Yes, don't the opposite

-: Because there's nothing worse.

You hear about it, go to a restaurant,

you hear about, oh, they've got the best stakes in the world

and people are in and they might even advertise.

We've got the best steaks in the world.

You'll never have a better stake.

And you go there it's like, I cook better than this at home.

They've over promised, under delivered.

And it's just then you don't feel like

you've had an excellent experience.

JP: Because the expectation was here

and they delivered here.

-: But if you flip it and you say, they're pretty good.

This service isn't too bad and you get there and they look

after you like a king or a queen.

And you feel like a million bucks just by the way they place

the cutlery in front of you.

And then the atmosphere is unreal.

The food is brilliant.

You just, I wasn't expecting this man.

I'm coming back.

That's excellence.

And I think with everything we do,

if you do what you're passionate about,

you'll never work a day in your life. That's an old saying.

But these truisms,

these sayings that we all know

throughout the business community and throughout life.

They are sayings that are popular

because there's truth to them.

And when we hold onto them, study them and implement them,

that's how you can deliver.

And I think a key point of delivering excellence

is don't ever think that you've arrived.

I'm the best.

I'm unreal. I've been there.

JP: Or your growth stops, right?

-: I had my own TV series back in 2006.

And I thought that, you know, my crap didn't stink.

I thought I was unreal.

People are going to be knocking down my door

to have me come and speak because I'm on TV.

And after filming the show and the production went

for 12 months and we'd finished production,

I had an empty diary.

And for six months had nothing

and spiraled into financial ruin

because I didn't save my money

or wasn't diligent.

I was believing my own press.

I thought I was unreal.

I've arrived, I'm the guy.

I've got my own TV series.

JP: Guess what?

-: Your reality hits pretty hard.

So, always, always aspire to be better.

Always learn, always glean from others.

And I think a key in that is stay humble.

JP: Yes, love it.

I could talk all day, we could.

As we wrap up,

are there any final words of wisdom

or other thoughts that you'd like to share

with our listeners today?

-: I think the biggest thing for anyone is just to believe in

yourself, believe in yourself and be yourself.

The greatest advice I think I ever received

was as a 16 year old newly out of home,

and I had a kind of a mentor and he just said, mate,

you know, you know my nickname's Chipper, Chipper,

you just got to figure out who you are.

And as a 16 year old without a dad, I'm like, who, who am I?

And yeah, life is a journey, as I've said,

but believe in yourself and who you are because no one has

your perspective on life.

And another great saying is don't try and be anyone else

they're already taken.

Like if I tried to be you, I would fail miserably.

And likewise, if you tried to be me,

you would fail miserably because you've got your skillsets

that are unique to you.

And I've got my skill sets that are unique to me.

And we teach people from the school

into the boardroom, that you are unique.

There's three characteristics that every human being

has that are unique to them.

That's their retinal scan,

their DNA strand and their fingerprint

that makes them unique.

And the word unique when you look at it means that you are

beyond compare, you're beyond measure.

There's there's no amount of wealth could be put on you

that could be, so that's what you're worth

because you're you, what can we compare you to?

And so when we understand that each and every one of us

are unique or have a unique take on life,

a unique story to tell a unique view to share.

Then that helps us value ourselves

and understand that we have something to offer this world.

-: Without that comparison of trying to be better

than someone else, because in that judgment

it lets you down.

Brett: And when we live in that world,

Instagram, what is it? It's a comparison with someone else.

-: How many likes, how many this, how many thats?

So finally, how can people get ahold you?

Your website? How do they reach out?

Brett: Safeheart.tv

And we also have our old website,

which is makebullyinghistory.org.

But safeheart.tv is our new website.

Look up SAFEHEART Foundation on Facebook

or Brett Murray on Facebook.

And, yeah, I would love to hear from people.

-: Thank you so much.

It's been such a privilege and honor to have you with us

here today.

Brett: Thank you.

-: Thank all of you for joining us as well.

For more great resources to help you become your best self,

including free worksheets and downloads,

make sure to check out TheBUILDFramework.com.

That's it for this episode. I'm JP.

We'll see you next time, on The BUILD Show

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The Description of The BUILD Show with JP - John Peitzman Ft Brett Murray