- Crashing through the crowded halls
Dodging girls like Ping-Pong balls
Just to reach the bathroom on time
Leaping over laundry piles
Diapers you can smell for miles
Guy's got to do what he can to survive
- In the Loud house
In the Loud house
- Duck, dodge, push, and shove
Is how we show our love
- In the Loud house, in the Loud house
- One boy and ten girls
Wouldn't trade it for the world
- Loud Loud Loud
- The Petoskey Open comes down to this.
In the first tournament of her college career,
Lori Loud has a chance to win it all for Fairway U.
And the crowd goes wild!
Whoo-hoo, hoo! [laughs]
- Great shot, babe.
I think? It's kind of dark.
Maybe you should call it a night.
- I can't. I need to keep practicing.
I'm the only freshman on the team
and if I don't do well, I could lose my scholarship.
- Sorry I'm not there to give you a big hug.
- Aww, thanks, Boo-boo bear. - Hey!
Youse two love birds finished?
I've been waiting for 15 minutes.
My spumoni's melting!
- Aw, sorry, babe. I gotta go.
Don't worry. You're gonna do great.
Did you do this?
Hello? Anyone here?
Maybe I've been practicing a little too much.
Okay, and these are all the books you have
on putting greens?
I need to know every blade of grass
on that tournament course.
I'm under a ton of pressure! - Shh!
I'm a librarian, not a counselor.
- [gasps, yelps] - Shh!
- [grunts, sighs]
[coughs] What is happening?
[screams] Oh, my gosh!
Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh!
- [sighs] I know, I know.
It wasn't me!
It's just nerves.
A little iced tea, a little lemonade,
and I will be fine.
Hello? Anyone here?
I just wanted to get an Arnold Palmer.
No ghost is jumping out of my mini fridge.
[alarm clock beeps]
- Lori? Everything okay in here?
- There was a mosquito on it. [nervous laughter]
- [chuckles] Okay.
You're losing it, Loud. You need help.
Think! Who you gonna call?
- Arggh, this is one tricky ghost.
If I'm going to catch it, I'll need
my officially licensed Hunter Spector phantasmal glasses,
my trusty spirit translator,
and of course, my Ghost Phaser!
[gasps] Look out!
[phone buzzes] - [screams]
This is Clyde. - Clyde, it's Lori.
I have a big time problem on my hands
and I need your help.
- Lori, I think you have the wrong number.
This is Clyde...McBride. - I know.
And also, I know you're the brains
of the Clincoln McCloud operation,
which is why I called you and not Lincoln.
- Um, Lori, you're on speaker.
- Oh, sorry. I guess you can help too.
Listen, I think there's a ghost on campus
that's haunting me, and I need your ghost-hunting expertise
to get rid of it. - A ghost?
We've been waiting our whole lives for this call!
- I can't tell anyone here
'cause I don't want them to think I'm losing it,
Which is why I'm gonna need you guys to be discreet.
- Don't worry, discreet is what we're all about.
[heavy metal music]
[both grunt] - Let's go get that ghost.
- Wait, let me try one.
That ghost...is gonna be toast. [both grunt]
- Lincoln, you left one of your blasty toys!
- Be cool, Dad. It's called a ghost phaser.
- Hey, there's my girl! - Hey, Dad.
Okay, Dad. Time to go.
- Okay, okay, bye kids. Have fun.
Lori, there's a lasagna in Lincoln's toy bag.
- [groans] Dad, it's not--
- You guys are literally saving my life!
I'm so freaked out that I'm starting to lose my hair.
- [forced chuckle] I noticed.
- We need to get rid of this ghost quickly and quietly
so I can focus on the tournament.
Clear. No spectral activity over here.
- [screams] - [huffs]
- My new caddy! [forced laughter]
So this is the first place that I saw the ghost.
- [gasps] Clyde!
I found something over here.
- [sniffs, gags]
It's even grosser than I thought.
Awesome! - What is it?
- Ectoplasmic residue!
- I'll take some for further study.
- Huh? [screams]
- We need to go.
- So he blows the putt for bogey,
and then I'm all like, "Scrap the blade and use the rest--"
both: [grunt] Clear!
- Would you put those away? There are people in here.
This is the spot where the ghost Arnold Palmer-ed me.
- All I'm getting is floor wax and...
Oh, somebody stepped in something.
- The spectral evidence has obviously been mopped away.
We'll have to recreate the splash patterns
to see what type of ghost we're dealing with.
Did it splash you like this? - [gasps]
- Or more like this? - Neither!
It didn't throw the drink at me.
- Ah, so maybe more like this.
- [forced laughter] We were just leaving.
- Guys, remember, this is a library,
so I need you to be extra quiet.
- [whispers] Got it.
- [gasps] [equipment beeping]
Guys, what did I just say?
- Shh! - Hi, again.
This is where the ghost started hurling books at me.
Yeah, just like that. - I'll save you, Lori!
- [gasps] No!
Don't shoot me, Clyde! Shoot the ghost!
[grunts] - [gasps, grunts]
- [grunts, yelps]
- [gasps] There it is!
- We've got you now, ghost. Ready, aim...
- [screams] It's in nonfiction.
Now it's in biographies.
[both grunt] - [yelps]
It's headed to the romance section.
No, wait! It's coming back!
both: That was awesome!
- Oh, it's getting away. Follow it!
[alarm wailing] Huh?
Uh, so sorry.
Maybe this will help? Gotta go!
Seriously, it had to go into the dark and creepy woods?
- Here, Lori.
This spirit protection cloak will keep you safe!
- This is just an "ARGGH!" hoodie.
Oh, well, it's worth a shot.
- I think it's trying to communicate with us.
- I'll use the spirit translator.
- Don't forget to watch "ARGGH!"
- That can't be right. - Less talking, more blasting.
- Ready-- - Aim.
[ascending tone, descending tone]
- Our batteries must have died! - That's it.
Listen up, ghost.
You need to leave my sister alone!
You're really scaring her.
It's super messed up
and you should feel awful about yourself!
- It's working!
The ghost responds to shame and guilt.
Just like me!
- Leave Lori Loud alone! - Leave Lori Loud alone!
both: Leave Lori Loud alone! Leave Lori Loud alone!
- [gasps] - We did it!
- We drove the ghost away! - Aw, thank you!
I knew you could do it, Clyde!
Lincoln, I had my doubts, but you really pulled through.
- Thank you...I think?
- Finally I can focus
on getting ready for the tournament.
- Hey, where did you get that cookie?
- It was in the pocket. - That's where I put that!
[yelps] - Sorry about that, Lori.
Everyone's game is a bit off today.
[whistle toots] - Ow, good heavens!
I don't know what's going on with you people,
but the Petoskey Open is tomorrow
and we positively stink!
- It's Shanks, coach.
He hasn't been around all day
and it's really messing with our game.
- Um, who's Shanks?
[both chuckle nervously]
- Um, come with me, Lori. Have a seat.
Usually we wait until after the first tournament
to tell freshmen about this.
Shanks Bogey is Fairway's golf whisperer.
He's like a good luck charm, an advisor,
caddie, and friend all in one.
The year was 1900.
Fairway U was in the national championship and losing badly.
That is, until their caddy, Shanks, rallied them.
He carried six golf bags at a time that day.
He knew exactly which club to use on every hole.
He would do anything for the team.
He was such a fixture at the school
that they offered him a full-time gig as caddy
And he's been helping the golf team at Fairway ever since.
Even in the afterlife.
- So wait. You're saying Shanks is a--
- That's right. He's a ghost.
- [gasps] - I know.
It sounds crazy, huh? - Not exactly.
- He didn't come to practice today
and that's very unlike him.
We really depend on Shanks, Lori.
I'm afraid that if he doesn't show up,
we might never win again!
- Oh, no! What have I done?
[phone chimes] - Hmm?
Go for Linc. - Lincoln!
I need you and Clyde to come back to Fairway.
And can you get Mom to drive you?
Dad kind of made a scene last time.
- You're on speaker phone. - [groans]
Why does everyone keep doing that?
- What's the crisis, Lori?
- You know that ghost you guys drove away?
I need him back.
Apparently, he's like the team's good luck charm.
- Well, we'd love to help,
but we're in the ghost-busting biz,
not the ghost-friending biz.
- Lincoln, without him,
my team is gonna lose The Petoskey Open
and every other tournament we play!
My golf career will be over,
which means I lose my scholarship!
Not to mention my hair is still falling out!
- [screams] - I think my teeth are next.
One of my molars feels loose. - Lori, you're spiraling.
- I know! I literally need help!
all: Light as a feather, stiff as a Boris.
Light as a feather, stiff as a Boris.
- Hmm, I might know a few people
who could bring back your ghost.
[screams] - Did you say ghost?
[sinister piano music]
- [nervous laughter] Newer caddies.
- Good morrow, Sister.
- Can we, like, hurry this up and get inside?
- Gasp. We lost Boris.
- Huh, This does not look good for Boris.
- OMG! That was, like, so awesome!
- Many apologies for interrupting
your human stacking ritual.
Boris will leave now. - Don't go!
We need a new flyer.
- Wow, you have, like, totally amazing balance!
- Oh, thank you.
It must be my hollow bones.
- I think I found your ghost.
I was able to dig up this old Fairway yearbook from 1900.
- [coughs, gasps]
Shanks Bogey! That's him!
- Armed with this most intimate info,
it's time we make contact with Shanks
and let him know he's dearly missed at Fairway.
'Tis a time to putt, a time to play through.
Dear spirit of Shanks, we summon thee back to Fairway U.
all: 'Tis a time to putt, a time to play through.
Dear spirit of Shanks, we summon thee back to Fairway U.
- Look! Is that Shanks?
[all sigh] - Sigh.
- Ugh! [coughs]
This smells worse than Lynn's feet.
- That's the fermented bean meal.
Doctor Flickenlooper's Dyspeptic Bread was
a dietary staple at the turn of the century
when Shanks was alive.
- It's a peace offering.
Shanks lists it as a favorite food.
That and pigs in a blanket.
- Why didn't we just make those?
- When Shanks comes for the bread,
this will alert us to his presence.
Now we wait.
- Hey, where's Boris?
- Oh, hey! [vocalizes]
- I'm sure he's just resting in his coffin.
[bell chimes] Hmm?
The bell has tolled. The peace offering worked.
- Our bread!
- Wow, you made this, Lori? It's really good.
- Dante! - Yeah, it's delicious.
Oh, I'm afraid a dark storm is brewing in my belly.
[toots] [all groan]
- Lori, what did you do to us?
- It's not your fault, Lori. It's the bean-meal.
According to the yearbook,
Shanks was part of a campus theater group called the YIPS.
I even had Dante learn his favorite song.
Now grab your cane, Lori.
If we party like it's 1900, Shanks will surely show up.
[upbeat piano music]
[chuckles] This is actually kind of fun.
- This is a good sign. Keep dancing.
It must be working.
He has arrived!
Speak to us, Shanks!
[lively music] Hiss.
Uh...uh... - [hisses]
- Oh, no!
This must be some normie sacrifice ritual!
Boris got spirit. How about you?
- Clearly we've summoned the wrong kind of spirit.
- Ready? Break!
[grunts] [all cheer]
- What was that? - Is everyone okay?
[disco ball jingles] - [screams]
- [sighs] Well, this is a bust.
- Sadly, sister, this was my last idea.
- [sighs] That's it.
Shanks isn't gonna show up tomorrow.
I'm going to have to tell everyone what I did
and they're going to kick me off the team!
[whirring] - Wait.
Look at the ball. Do you see that?
- Huh, that's literally the same glow
that I saw from the ghost!
- Of course!
Fractured mirrors are the best way
to see into the spirit world!
- So where in the spirit world is Shanks?
- The spirits are showing me a cemetery.
With a strange affinity towards...golf?
- That looks like the old cemetery near campus!
- This school is so creepy. I want to go here.
- Now that we know where he is,
we can convince him to come back.
- Wait. Maybe I should go alone.
- What? You're terrified of ghosts.
- I know, but I'm the one who drove Shanks away.
I must have really offended him,
and I have to make things right.
So I'm just gonna face my fears and go into the dark, cold,
spooky, desolate cemetery.
- It's fine. It's fine.
It's all gonna be fine. Nothing scary here.
[screams, sighs] Hey, little buddy.
Have you seen any spirits around here?
Hello, Mr. Bogey? Can I call you Shanks?
I'm not quite sure of the proper way to greet a ghost.
I just came here to tell you I'm sorry.
I had no idea how important you were to Fairway,
and I never should have scared you off,
so I guess this is me asking you to please come back.
[sighs] Well, that didn't work.
But as long as I'm here,
might as well play a hole.
Huh, this pitching wedge ought to do it, right, Shanks?
Oh, am I using the wrong club?
Would you suggest I try something else?
Nine iron, huh?
Whoa, good call on the nine iron.
Yeah, I literally have no idea
how to play this one.
Play it off the tree? If you say so.
Yes! Nice caddying, Shanks!
Okay, that was terrifying.
But I still got a hole in one! [chuckles]
So does that mean that you're coming back to Fairway?
Look, Shanks, the thing is,
the Petoskey Open is tomorrow morning
and the team really needs you.
If you don't want to come back for me,
at least come back for them.
Okay, then. Sorry I bothered you.
- It all comes down to this.
Everything rests on the shoulders of Lori Loud.
Can a freshman with zero tournament experience
win it for Fairway?
- [nervous laughter, gulps]
- Ooh, I just jinxed her, didn't I?
- [huffs] Come on, Loud.
You can do this. [groans]
How am I supposed to make this shot with the sun in my eyes?
[cheers] - She did it!
It's a miracle shot! Fairway wins the Petoskey!
Lori Loud will be allowed to show her face around campus
- Huh? [whirring]
[gasps, sighs] Thank you, Shanks.
- Yeah, that was the best shot I've ever seen!
- Yeah! - That's my daughter!
- I've got spirit, yes, it's true!
Let's give it up for Fairway U!
- Sigh, I don't think Boris is coming home with us.
- Cramped inside this tiny space
May sound bad but ain't the case
In the Loud house - Loud house
- Duck and dodge and push and shove
That's the way we show our love in the Loud house
- Loud house
Laundry piles stacked up high
Hand-me-downs that make me cry
Stand in line to take a pee
Never any privacy
Chaos with 11 kids
That's the way it always is
In the Loud house