LOOK AT YOU.
>> THANK YOU.
>> James: LOOK AT CHER.
WE'RE SO HAPPY YOU ARE HERE.
HOW ARE YOU DOING?
>> I'M GOOD.
>> James: YOU LOOK STUNNING, AS USUAL.
YOU SMELL LIKE A MILLION DOLLARS.
>> THANK YOU.
>> James: YOU DO.
>> I KNOW SWRZ I FEEL LIKE-- HONESTLY, I FEEL LIKE, IF
I HADN'T HAD SAT DOWN IT WOULD HAVE KNOCKED ME OVER WITH JUST A
WAVE OF WHAT I CAN GET AS SORT OF ROSE PETAL BERGAMOT.
>> YOU ARE SUCH AN IDIOT.
>> James: I'M SERIOUS, I'M GETTING THIS FRAGRANCE.
>> OKAY.
>> James: AM I NOT?
>> YES, YOU ARE.
>> James: WHAT IS IT?
>> IT'S CALLED ODE DU COUTURE.
>> James: THAT YOUR OWN.
>> YEAH.
>> James: FANCY FRAGRANCE.
DIDN'T IT WIN A PRIZE.
>> YES.
>> James: IT WON THE OSCAR OF SMELLS.
>> YES.
I ALWAYS HAD THIS, IF YOU SMELL LIKE DESSERT, MEN WON'T FORGET
YOU.
>> James: IF YOU SMELL LIKE DESSERT, MEN WON'T FORGET YOU.
>> NO.
AND IT'S WORKED.
>> James: THAT IS TRUE.
AND IT DOESN'T WORK THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
>> NO.
>> James: I HAVE REALIZED.
BECAUSE IF THERE IS A FOOD I SMELL LIKE, IT'S DESES SETTER.
I SMEM LIKE A PROFITEROLE.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
>> YEAH.
>> James: DO YOU KNOW THE BEST SMELL FOR A MAN,I A MAN SMELLS
LIKE A FIRE, A LOG FIRE.
WOULD YOU AGREE WITH THAT?
>> NO.
>> James: WHY.
>> BECAUSE I JUST THINK-- .
>> James: A MAN BUILDS A FIRE, A CAVEMAN.
>>A MAN WHO CAN BUILD A FIRE ISN'T A MAN WHO SMELLS LIKE A
FIRE.
>> James: HE WILL BY PROXY SMELL LIKE A FIRE.
>> YOU'RE CRAZY, OKAY.
WHY AM I DOING THIS SHOW AGAIN?
>> James: EVERY TIME YOU ARE ON THIS SHOW, YOU ASK ME WHY YOU
ARE DOING IT.
THAT IS THE TRUTH.
LAST TIME WE WERE NP LONDON, SPILL YOUR GUTS OR FILL YOUR
GUTS, SHE WALKED ON THE STAGE, SHE GAVE ME, SHE HANDED ME A
NOTE.
NO ONE HAS DN THIS IN THE HISTORY OF THE SHOW.
HANDED ME A NOTE, I SAID WHAT IS THIS, SHE SAID READ IT, AND
WALKED AWAY.
I OPENED THE NOTE AND SHE WENT, I DON'T KNOW WHY I HAVE AGREED
TO PLAY THIS STUPID GAME.
SHE SAID I DON'T WANT TO DO IT.
I DON'T WANT TO PLAY THE GAME.
BUT I LOVE YOU.
AND I HOPE WE CAN STILL BE FRIENDS.
BUT THERE SAY REALLY STRONG CHANCE I'M GOING TO WALK OUT
NOW.
AND I GRABBED THE PAPER AND I READ IT AND I WAS LIKE ARE YOU
OKAY, AND SHE SAID NO, I THINK I'M GOING TO LEAVE.
>> I DONE REMEMBER.
I JUST REMEMBER BEINGS TERRIFIED.
AND I WAS THINKS WELL, THERE CAN'T BE A QUESTION THAT I
WOULDN'T RATHER ANSWER THAN EAT A GRASSHOPPER.
AND THEN I WAS WONDERING IF THEY WERE REALLY REAL.
AND THEN I LOOKED AT THEM AND THEY WERE REAL.
AND THEN YOU ASKED ME SOME QUESTIONS AND I WENT [BLEEP] OH,
YOU CAN'T SAY THAT.
>> James: LET ME TELL YOU THIS, CHER.
YOU [BLEEP] YOU WANT TO.
>> ANYWAY, SO I ATE IT, IT WAS THE CRICKET AND I THOUGHT BETTER
THIS THAN WHATEVER THE ANSWER WAS.
>> James: I THINK THE QUESTION WAS SAY SOMETHING NICE ABOUT
PRESIDENT TRUMP.
AND THAT WAS THE ONE THAT IT STUMPED YOU, THAT WAS IT YOU'RE
SO GOOD, YOU UNDERSTANDEV WREE-- EVERY FACET OF
ENTERTAINMENT AND TELEVISION.
I DON'T KNOW IF I KNEW THIS OR WE TALKED ABOUT IT BEFORE.
BUT YOU SHOT ALL OF THE SONY AND QUHER COMEDY HOUR HERE IN THESE
STUDIOS.
>> YES.
>> James: DO YOU STILL GET THE SOUND CHECK WHEN YOU WALK INTO
THE BUILDING?
>> IT DOESN'T LOOK ANYTHING LIKE IT LOOKED WHEN I WAS HERE.
IT IS A COMPLETELY-- WE HAVE LIKE HUGE SOUND STAGES
EVERYWHERE.
AND LIKE CAROL BURN ET WAS ACROSS FROM ME HERE.
AND DOWN THE HALLWAY WAS ALL IN THE FAMILY.
AND SO WE WERE KIND OF ALWAYS-- SOME WOULD PLAY TRICKS
WITH EACH OTHER WITH CHICKENS.
I DON'T KNOW HOW IT GOT STARTED BUT SHOW IT DID.
BUT WE WERE JUST LIKE HANG OUT, YOU KNOW, YOU JUST WALK, ARE YOU
BOARD.
YOU WALK ON TO SOMEBODY'S SET.
YOU ABOUT I DON'T RECOGNIZE IT BECAUSE OUR SETS WERE, YOU KNOW,
HUGE FOR PUTTING ON VARIETY.
>> James: NO WONDER WHEN YOU HEAR IT LIKE THAT, YOU SUDDENLY
REALIZE WHY SO MANY PEOPLE WHO WORKED HERE ARE REALLY DE
PRESSED.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
IF YOU THINK ABOUT, WHAT IS THE BEST THING THAT CAN HAPPEN.
YOU BUMP INTO ME OR SOMEONE FROM YOUNG & THE RESTLESS.
YOU USED TO COME OUT, YOUR ROOM, YOU BUMP INTO CHER, CAROL BURN
ET, NOW IT IS LIKE ME AND DREW CAREY IN A LIFT, LIKE OH BEEP
BLEEP-- [BLEEP] NOW YOU RECENTLY SWEET TWEETED, I WANT TO ASK YOU
ABOUT THIS.
>> OH GOD, I HATE WHEN THIS HAPPENS.
>> YOU SAID THE OTHER NIGHT CHRISTOPHER MELONI IS EXCELLENT,
A KRAR IS MATTIC ACTOR.
THISES WITH A LATE NIGHT TWEET, WHAT WERE YOU DOING, WERE YOU
WATCHING SVU, WHAT BROUGHT THIS ON.
>> I THINK I HAD SEEN HIS NEW SHOW.
AND I LIKE THAT SHOAVMENT I THINK THAT IT IS AN EXCELLENT
SHOW.
AND UNDERRATED AND THE ACTION IS REALLY GOOD.
AND I THOUGHT THAT HE ADDED SOMETHING TO THE SHOW THAT KIND
OF LEFT, SO WHEN I SAW HIM I THOUGHT WELL GOOD ON YOU, AND
YOU'RE GOOD AND I'M GLAD YOU ARE BACK DOING THE SHOW.
>> James: YOU'RE NOT SAYING HE IS A.
>> I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO SAY THAT.
>> James: HE'S A DISH.
>> WELL, JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE IS AN EXCELLENT ACTOR DOESN'T MEAN
YOU WANT TO JUMP ON THEIR BOAJSES AND ROLL THEM AROUND IN
THE CARPET.
>> James: WOW.
SOUNDS LIKE YOU'VE REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT THIS.
>> NO.
, NO.
>> James: I DIDN'T-- NO ONE HERE MENTIONED CARPETS, EVER.
YOU-- YOU MENTIONED JUMPING ON HIM, I DIDN'T SAY-- YOU WENT
STRAIGHT TO.
>> NO, NO, NOT EVEN FOR A MINUTE.
>> James: OKAY.
>> WHO.
>> I'M NOT TELLING YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE A BIG BLABBER MOUTH.
>> James: I PROMISE YOU, PLEASE DON'T WORRY, NO ONE IS
WATCHING.
>> I'M NOT TELLING YOU BECAUSE I CAN'T THINK.
>> James: WHAT DO YOU.
>> HAVE I HAD MY TYPE.
>> James: WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR.
>> WELL, I'M NOT TELLING YOU, IT IS TOO PERSONAL.
>> James: WHERE AM I ON THAT.
>> FAR FAR, FAR AWAY.
>> TANZANIA.
YOU ARE IN TANZANIA.
>> James: I WAS FEELING SOMETHING.
IT FELT LIKE THERE WAS A-- LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR BRILLIANT
DOCUMENTARY CHER AND THE LONELIEST ELEPHANT.
THIS IS SUCH A WONDERFUL STORY.
FOR ANYONE WHO DOESN'T KNOW, TELL THEM WHAT IT IS ABOUT.
>> IT IS ABOUT, ALL RIGHT, I JUST WILL TELL YOU QUICKLY, ON
MY TWITTER, I STARTED GETTING THIS TWEETS THAT FREE KEVAN AND
WHEN I SAW THE PICTURES AND I KNEW IT WAS AN ELEPHANT, AND I
THOUGHT WELL, IF I DON'T ANSWER, IF I DON'T SAY ANYTHING, IT WILL
STOP.
BUT IT DIDN'T.
AND THEN I THOUGHT OH MY GRKSD GOD, I CAN'T DO THIS, I'M JUST A
CELEBRITY, MORE THAN A CELEBRITY, I'M AN ENTERTAINER.
BUT I THOUGHT THERE IS NO WAY.
AND STOP IT AND JUST GET IT OUT OF YOUR MIND.
BUT THEN I REMEMBER I MET THIS MAN, AN ENGLISHMAN AND HE SAID
THAT HE LIVED IN SOUTH AFRICA, AND WOULD SAVE ELEPHANTS.
HE WAS BOB GEL DAFL'S MANAGER.
SO I KAWRLED HIM, AND THIS IS YEARS LATER.
AND I SAID HI, YOU MAY NOT REMEMBER ME BLUE THIS IS CHER.
AND WE WROTE IN THIS CARD, CAN YOU HELP ME SAVE AN ELEMENT.
AND HE SAID OF COURSE.
AND HE SAID WHERE IS IT I SAID IT IS IN ISLAMABAD.
HE SAID I WILL GO RIGHT AWAY AND HE DID.
AND THIS ELEPHANT HAD BEEN SHACKLED HIS ENTIRE LIFE.
HE IS 37.
AND SO HE WENT THERE.
AND HE SAID TAKE THE SHACKLES OFF.
BUT PUT WATER IN THERE, PUT A TOP ON HIS LITTLE AREA THAT HE
LIVED IN.
AND THAT IS HOW WE STARTED.
IT TOOK US FOUR YEARS.
TWO ADMINISTRATIONS AND THEY MADE, THEY WOULDN'T LET-- THEY
WOULDN'T RELEASE HIM UNLESS I CAME TO GET HIM.
AND I THINK THEY THOUGHT I WOULDN'T GO TO GET HIM.
BECAUSE THEY SAID.
>> James: THE PAKISTANI GOVERNMENT SAID THE ELEPHANT
COULDN'T GO UNLESS YOU PERSONALLY FLEW THERE.
>> YES.
>> James: WELL, WHAT DID THEY WANT FROM YOU WHEN YOU GOT
THERE?
>> NOTHING, WELL, THAT'S NOT EXACTLY TRUE.
A ONE POLITICIAN WANTED ME TO BE AN AMBASSADOR FROM ISLAMABAD TO
PLARYK, FROM PARK STAND TO AMERICA.
I SAID I CAN'T DO THAT BUT IT IS SUCH A BRILLIANT THING THAT YOU
HAVE DONE.
IT REALLY, REALLY IS.
IT IS FANTASTIC.
