- Wake up and smell the bacon snacks.
- Let's talk about that.
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- Good Mythical Morning.
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- But today we're talking about something almost
as exciting as our secret society.
We're talking about bacon. - Yeah!
- Which I've always thought bacon is a lot like lovemaking.
Even when it's bad, it's still pretty good.
You know what I'm saying? (chuckles)
But since snack makers have yet to find a way
to make 50 Shades of Grey flavored FUNYONS,
we're gonna stuff our faces with bacon-flavored snacks.
- But which bacon-flavored snacks actually taste
like bacon and which are just fakin'?
It's time for Super Snack Flavor Match: Bacon Edition.
- This is how this is gonna work.
Right here we have perfect, crispy bacon.
This is gonna be the representation of bacon
in its purest form. - Mm-hmm.
- And this is gonna serve as our baseline
for bacon-flavored snack comparison.
- Yep, and we're gonna rank each snack on a scale
of one to 10 based solely on how close it tastes
to actual bacon, not on how much we like the snack,
and then we're gonna add up our scores.
At the end, the highest overall score will become
the king of all bacon snacks
and be named bacon Brian. - Mm.
- Let's get to the first snack.
- First up, RITZ Crisp & Thins, bacon flavor.
Now ironically, these are part of the healthy line
of snacks from RITZ.
50% less fat 'cause they're oven baked.
Have you ever tried this?
I have not. - I haven't.
I do notice that it says they have natural flavors.
I hope that's natural bacon flavor.
- Well it didn't say that.
Now, the first thing you get is just like
a RITZ Crackery bakeyness.
But then you get hit with the smoke.
- And here's my theory.
I've tasted a lot of bacon-flavored things.
- [Link] Mm-hmm.
- Very few of them have actual bacon
but they go for an approximation
of bacon using liquid smoke.
They're not bad.
- They're not great.
- The second one-- - I will say that
I don't like 'em that much.
- But the second one got more bacony.
- It did. - The third one.
- It did.
This one started out as what I thought was a one.
Of course we'd just eaten the real bacon.
- You started as a one?
- And then it's creeped up to a three.
Coming gently to rest at no more than a four.
- I don't actually think this is bad.
It really leveled out into a good place for me.
But I'm not comfortable with going any higher
than a five.
- Okay that's a nine total.
And next we got JD's BaconPOP
bacon-flavored microwave popcorn.
On the back it says, it's the continuing story
of two bacon fanatics, Justin and Dave,
on a never-ending quest to make everything taste like bacon.
Is this a story book or popcorn?
- Justin and Dave.
- It's safe for vegans and vegetarians.
- Again. - 'Cause you know vegans
and vegetarians love bacon.
- Yeah. - They just can't eat it.
- They just want the flavor of bacon.
- [Link] There's no outward signs
that this is bacon-flavored popcorn.
- Well there's no inward signs either once you put it
in your mouth based on what I'm just tasting.
- We sure we got the right popcorn, guys?
- I mean--
- Oh. - It's subtle.
- Super subtle.
- It's good.
I think I might say that about most of them.
- And I wouldn't describe the subtlety as a smokiness,
interestingly enough. - But it's too subtle
to really get, to get high marks.
- It's like you're eating popcorn but breathing bacon in it.
- Yeah, right.
Somebody's eating bacon next to you.
- Yeah it's in the back of my throat kind of a thing.
It's like I'm breathing it, mm.
I'm just not getting enough bacon.
- I don't think, it doesn't help the popcorn a whole lot.
- No it doesn't.
- I'm giving this a four.
- Two. - Oh.
- [Link] That's a six total.
- Next up, Crunchsters Beyond Bacon
Sprouted Mung Bean Vegan Snack.
That's a mouthful.
Okay now the mung bean-- - These can be a mouthful.
- It may sound like a severe testicle hernia,
but it actually is just a-- - When it sprouts.
Mainly cultivated in India, Pakistan, and Southeast Asia.
- Okay, um, it's got a--
- A munginess to it. - A cereal-like grainy smell.
- [Rhett] Just poppin' one.
- Very crunchy, very sweet.
- Yeah, super sugary.
- It's weird that it's so sweet.
- There's not much sugar in it.
- But bacony?
- No. - No.
- It almost has a, it's a little floury.
Sugary, floury, this tastes like old cereal.
- I'm trying to find the bacon and not in there.
Maybe it's left the testicle.
- It's not registering bacon at all.
I'm getting a lot of mung though.
I mean, I feel like I'm being overwhelmed with mungness.
- Which I like.
I like these.
- This might be my favorite thing we've snacked on so far.
- Yeah it's a fun little crunchy snack.
- Five grams of fiber. - It's like eating pills.
- In a serving, 20% of your daily value.
- But I've gotta give it a zero.
I mean, I don't even have a hint of bacon.
It says Beyond Bacon, so far beyond it
that it's no longer there.
Zero for me.
- Just because I appreciate the mungness,
I'm gonna give it a one.
- All right that's a one total.
Next up, Accoutrements Bacon Gumballs.
Now, I think these are intended as a gag gift
but maybe there's genius in the madness.
- You think it's a gag gift?
- Yeah people on Amazon love these things.
Here's a couple reviews.
If you're looking for the most disgusting thing ever,
give these a try.
Or, the smell could knock a buzzard off a meat wagon.
- Oh gosh. - Do they stink?
- I'm not a buzzard and I don't know what a meat wagon is,
but oh man.
This has got that-- - Ooh.
- That nasty, they tried so hard.
Oh, I can't finish it.
Yeah. - Ah!
- There's a lot of things, like bacon-flavored soda,
like when they try to put bacon flavor into things
that shouldn't have bacon flavor,
it ends up tasting like this.
- It's very chemically.
- But I'll tell you one thing. - Forward.
- It registered.
It really registered.
It doesn't taste anything like bacon,
but it wasn't like the popcorn or the mung
in which point I thought I was completely missing
the bacon altogether. - Yeah I'm getting hit hard.
- I mean like maybe like rotten bacon flavor.
Bacon left out for a few days flavor.
- If you really commit to chewing it as I have--
- I didn't. - It starts to,
I mean, if it's like an indigestible chunk of bacon
that you just keep running around in your mouth hole,
all of a sudden-- - It gets more bacony?
- It starts to level out.
Whatever this powder in the first layer is,
once that's gone, you kinda settle into something
that I believe is a reputable mark.
Yeah, I'm gonna give it that.
I'm gonna give it a five.
I think that-- - Okay.
You scared me there for a second.
- It's halfway to bacon.
Perfect bacon. - Halfway to bacon.
Like I said, it did really register and it could taste
like compromised bacon so I'm gonna also give it a five.
- [Link] Oh that's 10 total.
- Next one is Fisher Smoke and Bacon Flavored Almonds.
Now I'm excited about these because in the ingredients
they have a few things that are very relevant.
Natural bacon flavor which includes pork stock,
bacon fat, natural smoke flavor.
Also has brown sugar, some more natural smoke flavor,
They're really doing some things that get close to bacon
at least in theory.
- First of all, they taste great.
The almond woodiness really complements
what they're trying to do with bacon.
But how well have they matched the bacon part?
- Well I feel like we kinda need
to isolate the bacon flavor.
We might need to break out the lick daddies.
- Oh, bring in the lick daddies!
- Here! - Oh that's us.
- I've got the suck daddy right now.
Okay, I'm finding things now.
Lick daddy found something.
- It gets, I mean-- - Suck daddy found more.
- It's really strong.
It's really strong.
- Hey, that is a good approximation of bacon.
- And a great complement to an almond.
- Wanna make sure I'm not going crazy and get a real bite.
Oh-- - Can you tell--
- Smooth transition.
Oh I could get completely mixed up here.
- What about a bacon-wrapped almond?
That's what I'm gonna do.
You know you can do this with dates.
- That's good. - Which sounds stupid.
- But don't do it on a date.
- Bacon-wrapped almonds, y'all.
- You attach a little crunch to your bacon.
I'm giving this an eight.
Eight, so that's 16.
Last snack, Purina Bacon Beggin' Strips.
Boy they look just like real bacon,
except when you look at it besides real bacon.
- Yeah but if you're a dog,
I don't even think they can see color,
so just think that this all blends together.
Again, these are dog treats.
- Okay now this is the only product with actual pork
slash bacon listed in the ingredients,
which could be cheating except these are for dogs.
Wow, there's a lot of them in this pack,
and I'm willing to bet it's not actually bacon.
It's other parts of pork.
- But meat is the number one ingredient so.
- Oh gosh.
Oh, it looked chewier than I thought it would be.
Yep, there's no crunch.
Dogs got it rough, man.
- Oh oh oh oh oh oh.
- Man-- - What the heck?
What is in this crap?
- What are they trying to do to dogs these days?
- [Link] It's like a sweet protein powder.
- 'Cause the thing is dogs also like bacon.
If you give a dog bacon, you shouldn't,
but if you did, they like that.
So I think they do have good taste,
we just don't reward 'em for it.
- Here's what they're betting on.
That you, the owner, will not taste this.
It looks like bacon and then,
you get so happy giving this to your dog.
Look, I'm giving you bacon, you're fooled.
They taste it and they're like crap no.
This is not bacon.
There's no discernible baconness to this.
- But they don't stop eating it.
They eat it,
I guarantee Barbara would gorge on these things.
- I'm not-- - I mean I keep eating it.
I'm trying to taste the bacon.
- I can't taste anything that approximates meat.
- No I taste a meat flavor.
I don't taste real meat.
At least not the kind of meat that I'm normally eating.
- They haven't added anything that we humans get tricked
into thinking it's bacon like the smoke flavoring
or like a maple sugar type thing that would accompany bacon.
They haven't added any of that.
- It just looks like bacon so it gives you,
like you said, it gives you the sensation
that you're feeding bacon to the dog.
- I was really excited about this but my--
- I'm gonna give it a two. - My hopes have been dashed.
- I'm giving it a two.
- I'm gonna give it a one. - Oh wow.
- That is a three total, but we are gonna keep eating it.
- And what that means is that we have officially named
by a wide margin. - Yes.
- Fisher's Smoke and Bacon Flavored Almonds
as the most bacon-flavored snack that we could come up with
and we're gonna officially crown it
Bacon Brian. - Bacon Brian.
- Thanks for liking, commenting and subscribing.
- You know what time it is.
- Hi I'm Carly. - And I'm Tina.
- And I'm Cam.
- And we're at the--
- [Together] Tour of Mythicality in Toronto, Ontario
and it's time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality.
- Thank you for that.
Click the top link to watch us taste bacon-flavored beer
and vodka in Good Mythical More.
- And to find out where the
Wheel of Mythicality's gonna land.
- [Rhett] Hey pin freaks.
We got some Mythical pins for you at Mythical.store.
Also I'm sorry for calling you freaks.
I went too far.