Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Super Mario Galaxy: Getting Real - PART 3 - Game Grumps

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Arin: Hey I'm Grump!

Dan: I'm not so Grump!

Arin and Dan: And we're the Game Grumps!

Arin: Hey, babies.

Dan: 'The Good Egg Galaxy'.

Arin: Yeah, it's so good.

Dan: "What? What now? What now?"

Dan: Huh-plrpp!

Arin: Nah, I'm just gonna jump on his head, that's 'What now'.

Dan: Yeah. My, um...

Arin: Don't test me, I'm a fucking plumber.

Dan: Oh, my mom...

Dan: The Good Egg Galaxy reminded me, my mom, uh...

Dan: I- Is a teacher, uh, of young children.

Arin: Yeah.

Dan: And uh...

Dan: I guess there's, like...

Dan: One British kid in the class named Charlie.

Dan: And the mom...

Dan: His mom everyday, like, when she drops him off at school... Uh, is like,

Dan: [British accent] Charlie, be a good egg! Be a good egg at school!

Arin: Really?

Dan: Yeah. How cute is that?

Arin: That's adorable!

Dan: I know, so, like, every now and then my mom'll be like...

Dan: Uh, like when I'm leaving for California I'll go visit her.

Dan: A- And, uh, as I'm leaving she'll be like...

Dan: [British accent] Bye Dan! Be a good egg!

[Arin laughing] Dan: I'm like...

Dan: "No!"

[Arin laughing]

Arin: "I won't listen to you."

Dan: "Don't tell me what to do!"

Arin: "Argh!"

Dan: "I'm almost fifty!"

[Arin and Dan laughing]

Arin: "Shut up!"

[Dan laughing]

Arin: "You don't know anything!"

Dan: "Urgh!"

Arin: "How long have you been around? Argh."

Dan: "Urgh."

Arin: "I've been around the block a couple times."

Dan: "Yeah, once or twice."

Dan: "I came back, obviously."

Arin: 'My friends are ahead.' Dan: "To live in your basement for some more."

Dan: "To live in your basement for some more."

Arin: I gotta do a little bwoogle to get to that one and then do a little more bwoogle.

Dan: Whoaa! Nice! Arin: I gotta do a little bwoogle to get to that one and then do a little more bwoogle.

Dan: Can you..? Oh, okay it brings you there automatically.

Arin: Yeah, it's a- It's-

Dan: You can't just rocket off into the void of space forever?

Arin: That would be something... Dan: You can't just rocket off into the void of space forever?

Arin: That would be something...

Arin: That would be a sight to behold.

Dan: It'd be hilarious.

Arin: It would be so hilarious.

[Dan snorting]

Arin: I would love it.

Dan: You'd truly, truly die.

Dan: Like, you'd just get sucked into the black hole.

Arin: Yeah.

Arin: [Mario voice] Waaaaahhhhh!

Dan: [Mario voice] I'm-a compressed! [Arin singing the Mario death music]

[Arin laughing]

Arin: [Mario voice] I can see different years!

[Dan laughing]

Arin: [Mario voice] Wahoo!

[Arin and Dan laughing]

Dan: [Mario voice] Time and space meaningless! Ho-kay!

Arin: [Mario voice] Wah-ha! Yippee!

Dan: Whoa! Arin: [Mario voice] Wah-ha! Yippee!

Arin and Dan: Oh God!

Dan: Ohh, Jesus!

Arin: Why is there, like, a red crystal in the middle of these?

Arin: I bet it's because I can destroy them if I hit the red crystal, watch this.

Dan: Ohh, really? Arin: I bet it's because I can destroy them if I hit the red crystal, watch this.

Dan: Ohh, really?

Arin: Watch this.

Arin: Hi-yah!

Arin: Oh, well, nevermind.

Dan: Oh! Wah- Oh! Oh! Oh! Okay! Okay! Arin: Oh, well, nevermind.

Dan: Oh! Wah- Oh! Oh! Oh! Okay! Okay!

Arin: How about- How about I just... Dan: Oh! Wah- Oh! Oh! Oh! Okay! Okay!

Arin; How about I just leave that. Dan: Yeah, maybe don't do this.

Arin: Leave that business alone.

Dan: Yeah. Arin: Leave that business alone.

Arin: That is not a business that I'm willing to invest in.

Dan: Yayyyy!

Arin: And now I'm on the... The like,

Arin: "Mmmrgh" Planet.

Dan: Mmm. Arin: "Mmmrgh" Planet.

[Dan laughing]

Arin: Mmmrgh.

Dan: Hrm.

Dan: Yeah, just two little googly eyes is all you need.

Arin: Yeah.

Dan: Hrm.

Arin: I got 'em right-

Arin: Whoa!

Dan: Yeah, you fucking died, bro.

Arin: Holy crap!

Dan: 'Cause you fucking around with roly crystals.

Arin: I guess so.

Arin: Yeah, I need to take this a little bit more seriously.

Arin: If I want to survive.

Dan: If I want to [Laughs] survive.

Arin: You gotta- You gotta take the test, bro.

Arin: And if you pass if you're good, but if you fail...

Arin: ...Then, um...

Arin: You will not become the plumber that you thought-

Arin: Your mom thought that you would be.

Dan: Yeah.

Arin: She will not be proud of you.

Dan: "It was always my dream for my son to unclog hairballs from shit-tanks."

Arin: "Okay, have a good day at school!"

Dan: Yeah, yeah.

Dan: [British accent] Be a good egg!

[Arin laughing]

Arin: Oh, Good Egg.

Dan: Yeah.

Arin: That's great that you have a 'Good Egg' story for Good Egg Galaxy.

Dan: Yeah.

Arin: I'm hoping that when we get to, like, Parsnips Place you're like,

Arin: "Y'know, actually..."

Dan: Yeah.

Arin: "Uhh, my- My great-great-great-great grandfather's uncle's son...

Arin: ...Uhh, was from a place called Parsnip Place.

Dan: Oh, you could have just said "My great-great-great uncle."

Dan: Stupid.

Arin: I could've added an extra 'great', yeah, you're right.

[Dan laughing]

Arin: I don't know, I wasn't thinking. I was trying to make it as obscure as possible.

Dan: No, it's fine.

Arin: Whoa, how did I get hurt?

Arin: Oh, it's 'cause fuckin' things on me! I didn't even see that that time!

Dan: Jesus.

Dan: What, were they just, like, barnacled on you?

Arin: Yeah. I was just, like, randomly getting hurt in my vision.

Dan: Uh oh.

Dan: I think I sense the first comments a- At our- 'Arin sucks at Mario Galaxy' coming!

[Arin laughing] Dan: I think I sense the first comments a- At our- 'Arin sucks at Mario Galaxy' coming!

Arin: "It's the first level! C'mon!" Dan: I think this might be the episode!

Dan: Yeah.

Arin: The third episode? Yeah. That's when- That's when it starts.

Dan: Yeah.

Dan: Once we've completed the tutorial.

Arin: Yeah, well, whatever.

Dan: Only died once on that tutorial, by the way.

Arin: I'll get used to it. Dan: Only died once on that tutorial, by the way.

Arin: I'll get used to these controls.

Dan: Are they weird?

Dan: They seem like they'd be a little weird.

Arin: Uh, ehh...

Arin: No...

Dan: No?

Arin: Yeah, like...

[Dan laughing]

Arin: Jesus... [Dan laughing]

Dan: "Nah, it's easy! Poarh!"

[Arin laughing]

Arin: I mean, it's- It- It- It make sense.

Arin: There's never a point where you're like,

Arin: "Ew, that doesn't make sense."

Dan: Right. Arin: I feel.

Dan: Cool.

Arin: Personally.

Dan: 'Cause with... Arin: Get the fuck off me! Get the fuck off me!

Arin: Get the fuck off me! Get the fuck off me!

Dan: Yeah, there you go.

Arin: Help me with these Star Bits, brah.

Dan: Oh, right! Sorry, I keep forgetting I can do this.

Arin: You can get all the Star Bits, even the ones, like, way over there. Dan: Oh, right! Sorry, I keep forgetting I can do this.

Arin: You can get all the Star Bits, even the ones, like, way over there.

[Dan singing]

Arin: Yeah, you gotta start wigglin' your shit around. [Dan singing]

Arin: Yeah, you gotta start wigglin' your shit around.

Dan: Bro, not a problem.

[Arin laughing]

[Dan snorting]

Arin: "You know me and shit wigglin'."

Dan: Yeah. [Laughs] 'Shit...'

Dan: "I'm a shit wigglin' fool."

Arin: Whoo!

Dan: I would really love... Um...

Dan: ...To be in a band called 'The Shit Wigglin' Fools.'

Arin: "We are the Shit Wigglin' Fools in Baltimore! One! Two! Three! Four!"

Dan: Yeah.

Arin: [Singing] Shit Wigglin' Fools, Shit Wigglin' Fools.

Dan: And the woman... The- The, uh...

Dan: The female back-up singers are like,

Dan: [Singing] Shit Wigglin'! Ooh, Shit Wigglin'!

[Arin laughing] Dan: [Singing] Shit Wigglin'! Ooh, Shit Wigglin'!

[Arin and Dan laughing]

[Dan laughing]

Arin: It's when you- It's when you're takin' a...

Arin: When you're taking a particularly, uh...

Dan: I don't like where this is going, go on.

[Arin laughing] Dan: I don't like where this is going, go on.

[Arin laughing]

Arin: It's when you're taking a particularly...

Arin: ...Um... Difficult shit.

Dan: Right.

Arin: And, uh... Then you got that little dangler...

Arin: ...And, like, pinching it, you can't get it far enough.

Dan: That is disgusting.

Arin: The pinch. Dan: That is disgusting.

Dan: I- I...

Dan: Dude, you have so many bathroom tales that I just do not relate to at all.

Arin: Really? Dan: Dude, you have so many bathroom tales that I just do not relate to at all.

Arin: Oh come on, you guys at home have to relate to that. Dan: Yeah.

Arin: Oh come on, you guys at home have to relate to that.

Dan: 'You guys at home.'

Arin: When you're trying to-

Arin: When you're trying to pinch it...

Arin: ...And then it's just- It's not enough,

Arin: So you have to, like...

Arin: "Ehhhh!"

Arin: Like, wiggle your...

[Dan laughing]

Arin: ...Your ass, but you don't want it to, like...

Arin: ...flap back up into your cheeks.

[Dan laughing]

Arin: 'Cause then that would just...

[Dan laughing]

Dan: You are disgusting.

Arin: It's- It's gross, I know. But it's- It's life.

Dan: It is life. We get real, here on Game Grumps.

Arin: Yeah.

Arin: I- If nobody's gonna talk about that stuff then who will?

Dan: Nobody.

Dan: By my math.

Arin: That's my point

[Dan laughing]

Arin: That's exactly my point.

Arin: Nobody's gonna talk about poopy if I don't.

Dan: You're right.

Arin: And it's something we can all-

Arin: Literally all of us can relate to, is pooping!

Dan: It's probably a little too high-brow for most people to get into.

Arin: Look man, I don't- I don't subscribe to that- That...

Arin: ...Comedy fuckin'...

Dan: Ooh!

Dan: Did you- Are- Are you a baby?

Dan: I mean, are you a momma?

Dan: Did you just give birth to a dinosaur?

Arin: Yeah, I did.

Arin: Hold on, I gotta hit his tail.

Dan: This is adorable.

Arin: Yawh!

Arin: Bam!

Dan: Awww-Ohhhh God no!

Arin: "Bwahh!"

[Arin laughing]

Dan: Not nearly as cute as I thought it would be.

Arin: It's Peewee Piranha.

Arin: C'mere, baby.

Arin: And whap!

Dan: Jeez.

Arin: Yeah, why am I being so me- Mean to this child?

Dan: Yeah, he- He- Arin: Yeah, why am I being so me- Mean to this child?

Dan: He's like, "I've existed for eight seconds."

[Arin laughing]

Arin: "And already I'm feeling the doldrums of..."

Dan: Already Mario's like, "Quit hitting yourself! Quit hitting yourself!"

[Arin laughing]

Arin: Fucking complicated, like, joke for a baby!

Dan: Yeah. [Laughs]

Dan: Yeah. "How do I know these colloquial jokes? "

[Arin laughing]

Arin: Ah, get over here. Get over here with your fuckin' walnut tail.

Dan: Ahh. Arin: Ah, get over here. Get over here with your fuckin' walnut tail.

Arin: Ah, get over here. Get over here with your fuckin' walnut tail.

Arin: Done.

Dan: Nice.

Arin: "Oh no! Now I'm dead!"

Dan: "Finally, the warm embrace of death!"

Arin: [Laughs] Yeah!

Arin: "Twenty seconds after my birth!"

[Dan laughing]

Dan: "God, life is a duplicitous fuckin' piece of shit.

[Arin laughing] Dan: "God, life is a duplicitous fuckin' piece of shit.

Arin: And nobody thinks of that shit because it's cute and Mario and "Ha ha! Colors!"

Dan: No, you murdered a baby.

Arin: Yeah.

Dan: Let's not mince words.

Arin: Straight up...

Dan: Call space babe.

Arin: ...Murdered a baby.

Arin: For W- Which is like...

Dan: [Mario voice] Infanticide!

[Arin laughing]

Arin: YOU'RE the alien!

Dan: Yeah!

Arin: Like, that baby was born on that planet!

Dan: Yeah, he was just hanging out.

Arin: And you just showed up on his fuckin' planet and wrecked him for no reason!

Dan: Yep.

Dan: Chocolate Chip's like,

Dan: "Did you kill a baby?"

[Arin laughing]

Arin: Just kinda turns the other way.

Dan: "You got that look on your face like you just killed a baby."

Arin: Yeah.

Arin: Welp... Next mission.

Dan: Let's do it.

Arin: 'These stars are Star Bits.'

Dan: "Dear Abby, what's the best time of day to shake a baby?"

Dan: "No, don't shake your baby."

Arin: [Laughs] Yeah! Dan: "No, don't shake your baby."

[Arin and Dan laughing]

Arin: You just rig all your questions to be, like, like she has to answer them.

Dan: Yeah. Arin: You just rig all your questions to be, like, like she has to answer them.

Arin: You just rig all your questions to be, like, like she has to answer them.

Dan: Yeah. Arin: You just rig all your questions to be, like, like she has to answer them.

Arin: Like, "I'm gonna murder somebody tomorrow, what should I do?"

Arin: She's like, "Not murder them! Next letter!"

Dan: Jeez...

Dan: Feel like I shouldn't even have to say these things.

Dan: 'That's the ticket!'

Arin: Yeah.

Arin: I'm gonna feed 'em those Star Bits.

Dan: 'Mmmm, tasty!'

Arin: 'My fee for this lesson.'

Arin: Mmm...

Dan: "Yeah, I'll eat your fuckin' stars."

[Arin slurping]

Dan: Meanwhile, Mario's like,

Dan: [Mario voice] I could put you on IHOP Funny Face Pancake you little chocolate chip bastard.

[Arin laughing] Dan: [Mario voice] I could put you on IHOP Funny Face Pancake you little chocolate chip bastard.

Arin: [Mario voice] Little chocolate chip bastard.

Arin: Ooh.

Arin: [Mario voice] HERE WE GO!!

Dan: Whoa, alright.

Arin: Uh, Good Egg Galaxy once more but this time I'm doing, uh...

Arin: 'A Snack of Cosmic Proportions'.

Dan: Arghh, God. Arin: 'A Snack of Cosmic Proportions'.

Dan: Arghh, God.

Arin: I can not. I had a fuckin'-

Arin: I went to Bob's Big Boy last night.

Dan: Did you really?

Arin: Yeah.

Dan: I haven't been there in many years.

Arin: Argh, first of all, who the fuck is Bob?

Dan: It- Isn't he that, like, big, fat kid out in front?

Arin: No, that's the Big Boy.

Dan: Ohhh.

Arin: That's Bob's Big Boy.

Dan: B- Bob must be the owner.

Arin: Yeah. So what does he look like?

Arin: And is- Is Big Boy his son? Dan: I- I don't know, I'm guessing by the food, not thin.

Dan: I- I don't know, I'm guessing by the food, not thin.

[Arin laughing]

Arin: Did he give birth to Big Boy? Rather, did he inseminate somebody?

Dan: Yeah, I think- Urgh, God, can you imagine...

Dan: ...Fuckin' giving birth...

Dan: ...Through your dickhole?

Arin: To this-

Dan: Urghh... [Arin laughing]

Dan: Yeah, twelve hours of labor, please.

Dan: "Gotta eat the epidural!"

Arin: [Laughs] Especially...

Arin: Especially to that, like, weird, over-sized head kid.

Dan: Urgh...

Arin: With his, like, greasy pompadour.

Dan: Yeah.

Dan: And you just turn to your wife and you're like,

Dan: "You did this to me!"

[Arin laughing]

[Arin and Dan laughing]

Arin: And she's like, "I did nothing. I did nothing."

Dan: "Yeah. Jeez, it's natural."

Dan: "Baby, please, baby."

Arin: 'Yum, yum.'

Arin: I just wasted all those Star Bits.

Dan: Good job.

[Arin singing along to the music]

Arin: [Singing] Gotta go over here~

Arin: [Singing] And feed this fuckin' Lumaaaa!

Arin: 'Don't mind sharing your snacks, do ya?'

Arin: Whoa!

Dan: Yeah, whoa, beautiful!

Dan: Wow!

Dan: This is a really creative Mario game, I do have to say.

Arin: Yeah, it's pretty rad.

Dan: It's, like, very, very different and unique.

Arin: I'm alright with Mario Galaxy.

Dan: Was it a hit?

Arin: [Splutters] You kidding me?

Dan: Really?

Arin: Yeah.

Dan: Okay, cool.

Arin: It was a huge hit.

Arin: Well, it's weird because, like, yeah, it was a huge hit and all...

Dan: Mm-hm.

Arin: But whenever they release a Mario that's like the older Marios it does, like, way fuckin' better.

Dan: Right.

Arin: Like New Super Mario Bros. was, like, a gigantic hit.

Dan: Oh, yeah-yeah, I'm sure.

Arin: Whereas this was just, like, a big hit.

Dan: There's something very pleasant about side-scrolling, man.

Arin: Yeah.

Arin: I agree.

Dan: Yeah.

Arin: You don't have to tell me twice, I'm the fuckin'...

Arin: I'm the- I'm the retro... Uh...

Arin: What do they call it?

Arin: Like a- Like a dude who's all, like...

[Dan laughing] Arin: Like a- Like a dude who's all, like...

Dan: "I'm like the, uh... The, um... The, uh..."

[Arin laughing] Dan: "I'm like the, uh... The, um... The, uh..."

Dan: "The ma- The, uh, mas- Master. I'm the master."

Arin: Yeah, I'm, like, I'm the guy. [Dan laughing]

Dan: I got my, uh... My, um...

Dan: What is that together?

[Arin laughing] Dan: I got it- I got it tog- The shit. I got my shit together.

Dan: I got it- I got it tog- The shit. I got my shit together.

Arin: I'm the- I'm the retro king, dawg.

Dan: Yeah.

Arin: I don't want to say 'king' 'cause that's arrogant.

Dan: Oh, next time on, uh... Uh...

Arin: Yeah, what is it? Uh... The game... The game... Dan: The... The... The angr- The angry...

Arin: Game...

Dan: The- Ah fuck, um...

Dan: The Angry Players.

Arin: Yeah, I don't...

Arin: Ne- Well- It- Next- The point is, next time.

Dan: Yeah, next time. Arin: Ne- Well- It- Next- The point is, next time.

Dan: Next time.

Arin: On, uh...

Arin: Grrrruuu...

Arin: Grumpy?

Dan: Yeah, that's it, Grumpy Gamers.

Arin: Grumpy Game- Grumpy Gamers!

Dan: Got it.

Arin: Next time.

Arin: I'm gonna feed this guy.

Dan: 'Got any fuck-'

Dan: 'Hey you! Yeah, you! Got any tasty fuckin' Star Bits?'

Arin: Then you just hor- Just,

Arin: "HOARGHH!"

Dan: Yeah, look at him. Arin: In his mouth.

Dan: He's like,

Dan: "I am hiiigh on ecstasy!"

[Arin laughing] Dan: "I am hiiiigh on ecstasy!"

Arin: "I can eat these ones but I'm saving them for later!"

Dan: "SHROOOOOMS!"

Arin: "They sparklin' for a reason."

[Dan laughing]

Arin: "It's 'cause they drugs."

Dan: Right.

Arin: Is what I meant.

Arin: "Just thought I'd explain the joke a little bit."

The Description of Super Mario Galaxy: Getting Real - PART 3 - Game Grumps