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Practice English Speaking&Listening with: CHIPS - ralphthemoviemaker

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Ralph? Ralph?

it's CHiPS day.

CHiPS? yes!

The time is here, the time is now, it's time for CHiPS.

What's CHiPS? whats CHiPS? Dude dude what isn't CHiPS okay. CHiPS was this amazing TV show in the 80s

and then they've remade it now right. Dax Shepard, Michael Pena, they remade it together.

*RalphOrgasmsoverCHiPs*

They made a hilarious comedy that I have not seen actually. This is truly rare because I

usually

see movies first and then start making reviews of them, but I haven't seen chips.

So we're gonna watch it together. Do you want to know what heaven looks like do you really want to know?

This what it looks like. Ready?

Like this. This is what it looks like.

Oh yea.

We looked up a bunch of drinking games for chips online. We came up with a few.

Do you wanna drink too?

Um i really shouldn't

I have work to do.

Oh my fucking god, you're such a pussy!

We decided on this:

nudity or sex joke you take a drink. Chevy product placement take a drink. And car chase take a drink.

Those are the three things you take a drink for.

Hey drink it up!

Jermey Janhs sucks

This is gonna be one of my

more controversial

Videos I hate to say it guys. I know you were all really looking forward to me watching chips and just loving it

Right, but I have to say

This movie stinks on ice

It was even worse than I was imagining. It would be wait. I was expecting a stupid comedy

That wasn't funny and what I got was like she ate your ass

Did you eat her ass of course everyone's eating everyone's ass now

total dog shit

Why does this movie exist so a long time ago

21 Jump Street came out it was actually pretty damn good Channing Tatum, and Jonah Hill had great chemistry

it was incredibly funny and

creative and knew exactly

What it was and it used the fact that it was a dumb remake of a show from the 80s to its advantage

same thing with 22 Jump Street

Which constantly makes fun of the fact that it's a sequel to a dumb remake of a show from the 80s

Hollywood executives being the geniuses they are see that these two films did well

And what they took out of it was if we take an old property and add dick jokes in it

It'll be a hit. First. We got Baywatch, which is okay listen

I can't say anything about it because Alexandra Daddario is in it and I love Alexandra Daddario okay, hit me up Alex

But then we got chips from writer-director Dax Shepard who only seems to be able to make movies in Hollywood cuz he has friends in

Hollywood and that's it Dax Shepard has written and directed nothing but flops his entire career, and is currently working on

Scooby so let's go back for a second and and let's talk about chips right. I don't mean the movie chips

I don't mean potato chips. You know what I'm saying chips is an action crime drama show from the 80s

It's over the top got like car chases in it 48 minute show from the 80s

It's corny and dated and bad why even remake the show unless they had a really good idea

I swear most people I talked to don't even know what chips is

They didn't know it was a show in the 80s did Hollywood think that people would see chips, and they're like oh my god

Honey, they're remaking chips we have to go see it

I was looking as to why they made this movie, and this is an interview I found with Dax Shepard

They asked him so why chips why make a chips movie?

Which is a great question a very good question because I'm always looking for something that will hold both comedy and motorsports

I'm looking for anything that I think can combine these two things and that someone will make

So this movie's got the safety net of being a global brand a global property

I couldn't have gone into any studio and said the movies called

Oh eat my dust and it's me and Michael Pina and were on motorcycles. They'd go No

Thank you it had to have a safety net and the safety net I thought

And the safety net I found was chips

It wants to be a comedy and a serious cop movie, and it feels it being both

So this is a good opportunity to recommend a good movie to you Edgar Wright's Hot Fuzz excellent movie excellent excellent excellent movie

This film is both a parody of over-the-top cop action movies with ridiculous shootouts, and whatever

But it's also on its own a really good cop action movie the action is fun

The plot is unique and interesting and has lots of twists and turns

It succeeds in every way because here's the thing Edgar Wright has talent and is

Intelligent and knows how to do these things and what a thing to be able to first of all write

The movie is its own thing, but having to say I want to direct this movie

I'm going to star in this movie on a reproduce this movie, and it's and it turned out great

And thank you a big budget it will take on a television show we love and yes

He's the writer and director of this film

This is his vision his unadulterated vision and his vision is dogshit the film starts with this. It's like

They're robbing a bank

Oh, and of course he's driving a Chevy the Chevy's are cool

Okay

so for product placement and

Then once they get there Michael pina reveals that he's actually an FBI agent, okay, so this is for when

all the Chevy cop cars come

And he goes up to this guy like yeah

I hung out with your family for a year dude and your wife is cheating on you with me, dude

That's how much of a ladies man. I am me Michael Pina nerdy

So then there's a training center for California Highway Patrol Dax Shepard is there?

He's a trainee and he also used to be a motorcyclist

Like like a stunt guy and because he's really good at riding motorcycles. They're like you know what you're gonna be a chip

This is how you show that he's been in motorcycle accidents, this is ended so horrible another car chaser

Then Michael Pina and Dax Shepard become partners, there's this really awful scene, dude

Much you're homophobic or whatever that's cool no no no what I mean

It's not cool to be homophobic

but I totally respect your right to be wait you think I'm homophobic because I won't embrace a man in his underpants that I just

met

Then they get a car chase car chase

So there was that she's seen earlier in the movie with the bad guys right and then one of them for some reason jumped out

Of this helicopter, and I guess this was a cop, but apparently he wasn't really a cop

He was a bad guy undercover as a cop working from the inside

You know so they go to this guy's house right to give their condolences

But they're really there to do some investigative work even though

There's just supposed to be ch peas Dax Shepard looks around the house right he sees a cat and this is

So what's the joke here is he grossed out by the smell of the cat?

Is he grossed out by the litter box is he grossed out because the asshole of the cat

Yeah, I hope you got closure in there closure. Yeah, because I almost lost it when that cat went face-first in the litter box. Oh

What kind of dude use the word closure? What are you a therapist?

Then they leave the place the doc Shepherds like there weren't any pictures of him hanging around the house

And he didn't have a gun safe. There's no commendations on the wall. No pictures of him and his buddies fishing

No tools use a helicopter pilot without a workbench or a toolbox

And no gun safe so that means he must have had another house

Somewhere else yeah find out of TJ on another property and that's where he kept pictures of himself and his gun safe

If you're zoning out, I don't blame you. I'm zoning out too, but that's because I'm getting drunk. I miss I forgot to record

The best part it was like all three and one

so I didn't record it it was a car chase a sex joke and

Chevy product placement all in one all of the cars on the road

Every single car was a fucking Chevy

So then there's a car chase don't worry. I'll drink to in a minute

Let me just get through what the hell goes on in this scene

Stuff blows up at that Shepherd gets in the hospital because he gets hit in slow motion

Car chase Chevy two the alcohol is really kicking in now

That Michael Pina is sitting in his house while doc Shepherds in the hospital

Doc Shepherd gets back from the hospital he's in his bed

He can't get up and his medications in the bathroom

So he calls Michael Pina so Michael Pina can come over to pick him up and bring him to the bathroom

And this is the scene you've all seen in the trailers where this happens

I don't know Lisa brought me a genuine laughs

But that's nudity

For the record I didn't really find that scene funny, I was just so drunk

I I'm losing my mind Chevy Chase is gonna. Have a cameo in his Chevy

Chevy

So bunch of stuff happens that doesn't matter with the plot at all

but what I didn't talk about earlier was that Finn sent d'Onofrio's the bad guy in and he has a son and

His son dies during this car chase sequence with Dax Shepard getting in the hospital that whoa

Oh, hey excuse me. What are you kidding me right now?

Harvey Weinstein makes it

No its father and son

unless Kevin Spacey wrote the scene in which case

Now I'm just taking shots for no reason actions happening on screen doc Shepherds trying to save his wife

And I just have no clue what's going on

Vincent D'Onofrio dies they save the day there was an awful Back to the Future reference all them criminals are caught Dax Shepard

Realizes he doesn't really love his ex-wife and loves this girl who he met him in the CHP

They make out in the car Erik Estrada shows off Michael Pena and Erik Estrada laughs bad the movies

Empty oh no it isn't Michael Pena and Dax Shepard are

Horribly miscast in this movie Michael Pena is playing the attractive handsome like ladies

Man he's not attractive

He's like a short um

Chubby fucking Mexican dude if he was white he looked like me I

Mean if Michael Pena is so hot then I could just just non-stop girls

Just looking at Michael Pina in this movie get wet instantly just like imagine the girls watching my videos right they see this confident

Handsome good-looking funny intelligent guy with a huge audience, and I'm like wow Ralph

I would have them inside me in an instant. I mean just look at this

Let's let's see how the fans respond to this right like that the characteristics of these characters make no sense

like in 21 Jump Street

It's fairly simple Jonah Hill is smart, but he's ugly and Channing Tatum is dumb as a sack of bricks

but he's handsome and strong and this Michael Pina is like a good cup and

He's smart, and he's attractive and dak Shepherd isn't any of those things

But he can ride a motorcycle well when I pitched it

I said they said well who would play punch

And I said there's only one person I would want to make the movie with playing punch, and that'd be Michael Payne

Yeah Let's see what the girls wrote right?

That's exactly what a gay man in a relationship would say I used to be a single - then

I took my crush on a date to see chips now

We all do is so 95% of these comments are just calling me gay, and then 5% are

chips jokes

So this proves my point right then Michael piñas

He's now a ladies man in that sense

in either mine because that's the

Chips more like cheap. This is one of the cheapest looking movies. I've seen all year

It's lit like a sitcom the production design is horrible look at this set look at it

And then I go online to look at the budget, and it's 25 million dollars

25 million dollars for this

Not even the action is shot well and has no style to it

Just look at this car chase from the rain right so much style. It's like watching people do kung-fu with cars. They get this

staying character

I'll make a hole and then on top of that you have this really cheap sounding music sounds like it's from a stock music

Website let's listen to this track from the stock music website

Know what's great about that wasn't stock music that was from chips who wrote the music for this anyway. Oh there we go

Hey guys. It's me Dax Shepard. I'm an action director. I know how to make action scenes intense

I'm just gonna shake the camera for no reason

That's eg blood I looked great that looked awesome great job Dax Shepard, then there's this robbery scene with Vincent D'Onofrio

It's like oh my god

Is that's not him Vincent D'Onofrio is a big guy does this look like the same fucking guy?

And then they have like a close-up of his face, and he lifts up the mask for a second just to show it's him

But it's clearly an insert shot

Shot later in some parking lot and then there's like little things there's little things that annoy me it was David Martin

That was the guard that was being held at gunpoint when TJ jumped was now am I hate earlier in the film

Dax Shepard is like my right upper arm is made of titanium his humerus basically and at the end of the film

They're supposed to be this scene where a bullet is fired at him and and it bounces off his titanium humerus

Except they shoot him in the left arm and it ricochets off and kills the guy

And I have a titanium humerus from like here to here

Did you give a shit all you had to do was flop this fucking image

And it would have been fine or flop this entire scene or just fucking

Remember that it's your right arm and not your left the action is a hundred percent real

The explosions are real the jumps are real

The fights are almost real of course. This movie is mostly improv when it's not focused on the boring story, but the actual scripted scenes

Here's my answer. I'm the senior officer here

You're the rookie that doesn't know his mom from his asshole let alone the definition of homophobia so from here on out you're just gonna

Shut the fuck up and wait patiently for me to ask all the questions understood

I got that just listen to the dialogue first of all you're all dis fuck

second of all no one wants to hear about your marriage troubles k

So maybe you just want to get over yourself a little bit, I will power

Best way of me showing you how bad it is is to just show you scenes like this

Jesus dude you eat more pills than Elvis

Hey, I know you were just joking back there, but I want you to know I don't abuse my medication

You know oh, I wasn't joking

No, I'm like okay. How often do shit often noise shit? Yeah?

Okay, so my guess what happened there

Is that they shot a scene that was bad, but there was one joke that had to do with?

Him eating pills. I know you were just joking back there

but I want you to know I don't abuse my

Medication so they cut that scene and added a little bit of ADR in the beginning so that when Dax Shepard

Referred to the part with the pills it would make sense to the audience

Jesus do you eat more pills in Elvis

Nudity

explosions

great stunts

Some pretty good comedy

The comedy is fucking awful, so you have this awful simplistic plot

That is so just devoid of any substance. I don't even think it would fit in a normal Chips episode

It would be shorter than 47 minutes

So they have to pad the runtime with these awful scenes of improv

Let's just take a look at this scene she ate my money

I'm sorry. She did why Shaima but the scene goes on forever. She ate your ass?

Did you eat her of course cool, I'm talking about dude. That's dead standard you think that standard to eat some

Please absolutely you think that standard yes

That is not standard know what it is. You've been married for way too long

Everyone's eating everyone's ass now. Oh my god. There is no way everybody's everyone's eating

It's possible everyone is not eating everyone they are

What about hygiene? Oh easy? Oh my god? Yes, baby? What hey hey you do you eat ass. No, I don't need s

But you can go did you know that people eat people's ass no way people eat people's asses

Yeah, I eat ass you e - yeah, no way you don't need yes

Yes, I you - no way yeah way. I eat ass you eat ass. Yeah deal way

Really people eat. I don't eat asked. You don't mean ah yes, it goes on

forever

Sometimes that's evidence of past childhood trauma, and I just wanted you to feel safe. There's there's been no trauma

Okay, and my goal in life

Isn't to feel safe talking to you what I do, and how many times I do it in the bathroom. That's personally guys

It's me Ralph the movie maker on my spaceship right now exploring the universe

I'll try to find good the Joe up if something did happen

Do you guys see that you open it where let's check this corner therefore nothing

Down here nothing happen. Oh, don't see the joke anywhere in the scene, okay?

oh well I'll have to find the joke somewhere else

peace out

It's like they went okay

Let's improv all these scenes and then when we're done filming the movie the editor can take all these hilarious

Em probs and put them in the movie to pad out the runtime sadly though

There's no good improv, so all we have left are scenes of people going you. Yeah, that's you you know. I don't have

100% motorcycle driven I I love motorcycles I'm always looking

Little movie hitting wrong that was a car chase

A motorcycle chase movie, I can't even think of one you know

That's a pretty "great" movie i gotta say.

Everybody the Wild West the state that's untouchable like Eliot Ness the truck it's hit your eardrums

Like a slow tear chest pack of us for you Jimmy in the city of sex weed in the Sunshine State with bomb ass hemp

The state where you'll never find a dance floor empty and pimps be on a mission to find the grains lanes beans

Making money machines serving fiends I have been in the games for 10 years

Nik and rock tunes ever since honey was wearing so suits now the same 95

They stuck me with the diamond shining looking like a rubbery Liberace

It's all good from Diego to the bay

Your city is the bomb if your city they can pay more per finger if you feel the same way dry pulling it down for

California a out on bail for a shadow jail

California dreamin soon as I set up off the scene I'm hearing who she's screaming feeling for money and alcohol with life and Westside prints

We're cowards die and it's all our Valley calling me Cali where the we riot

they live and die in LA we would show you does not Ballet's dressed in Lux and Cali suit and ride faucet and

caution we got allied with the pit babies people we program worldwide let him recognition from a Long Beach to

rosecrans bumpin and grindin like a slow jam in the twist side so you got a don't down row bow down load you've got to

Save that's where you say give me a bum, but Pete Dre

Let me say rain from Oakland to segregate the Bay Area to pack that

Kelly where they now you throw the back down give me love

Knowledge good is the first purse, but I'll begin there. Oh, yeah, yeah

Won't be cheap in the house. Oh, yeah

That's pretty good

The Description of CHIPS - ralphthemoviemaker