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I'M GOING DOWN TO SOUTH PARK

GONNA HAVE MYSELF A TIME

FRIENDLY FACES EVERYWHERE

HUMBLE FOLKS WITHOUT TEMPTATION

GOING DOWN TO SOUTH PARK

GONNA LEAVE MY WOES BEHIND

AMPLE PARKING DAY OR NIGHT

PEOPLE SPOUTING "HOWDY NEIGHBOR" ♪

HEADED ON UP TO SOUTH PARK

GONNA SEE IF I CAN'T UNWIND

♪ ( MUMBLING ) ♪

COME ON DOWN TO SOUTH PARK

AND MEET SOME FRIENDS OF MINE

( SCHOOL BELL RINGING )

YOU GUYS ! YOU GUYS !

WE CAN FINALLY DO IT !

WE CAN FINALLY LEAVE THIS CRAPPY TOWN

AND LIVE THE LIFE WE'VE ALL DREAMED OF !

WE CAN ?!

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, DUDE ?

HAVEN'T YOU ASSHOLES BEEN WATCHING THE NEWS ?!

PIRATING IS BACK, MY FRIENDS.

SWASHBUCKLING ADVENTURE ON THE HIGH SEAS.

THE STUFF WE'VE ALL DREAMED ABOUT !

AND IT'S ALL HAPPENING RIGHT HERE !

SOMALIA.

SOMALIA ? WHERE'S THAT ?

NORTH AFRICA.

JUST PICTURE IT, GUYS.

CLEAR-BLUE WATER WITH SKULL ISLANDS.

WATERFALLS AND JEWELED TREASURE UNDERNEATH.

WHOA !

I'VE WORKED IT ALL OUT ON EXPEDIA.

WE CAN TAKE SOUTHWEST AIRLINES TO MIAMI

THEN DUBAI AIR HERE TO CAIRO.

THEN IT'S JUST A 49-HOUR BUS RIDE INTO MOGADISHU,

WITH ALL THE BOOTY AND PLUNDER A PIRATE COULD WANT.

WOW, YOU KNOW, CARTMAN, THAT IS AN AWESOME IDEA.

YOU SHOULD TOTALLY GO TO SOMALIA.

RIGHT AND--

WAIT A MINUTE.

YOU NEVER THINK MY IDEAS ARE GOOD, KYLE.

NO, I'M BEING TOTALLY SERIOUS.

THAT IS THE BEST IDEA YOU'VE EVER HAD.

YOU SHOULD RUN AWAY TO MOGADISHU.

YOU SHOULD GO THERE RIGHT AWAY !

I'LL EVEN HELP PAY FOR YOUR TICKET !

WOW, COOL !

WAIT A MINUTE-- THE FUCK ?

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT ?

UNLESS, YOU'RE TRYING TO TRICK ME SOMEHOW...

NO, NO, YOU'RE RIGHT.

SOMALIA IS AN OASIS OF TREASURE AND WATERFALLS !

IT'S TOTALLY THE PIRATE'S LIFE !

THEN WHY DON'T YOU WANNA GO ?

WELL, 'CAUSE, DUDE, I'M JEWISH.

AND, YOU KNOW...

JEWS CAN'T BE PIRATES.

JEWS CAN'T BE PIRATES.

THAT'S TRUE.

WELL, I'M GLAD YOU'VE FINALLY COME TO TERMS

WITH YOUR DISABILITY, KYLE.

GENTLEMEN, I'M OFF TO START PLANNING.

PLEASE, PLEASE LET HIM GO.

( BOY ON PA ) GOOD MORNING, STUDENTS.

THESE ARE THE MORNING ANNOUNCEMENTS.

TEACHER-PARENT CONFERENCES

HAVE BEEN RESCHEDULED TO NEXT TUESDAY.

PLEASE INFORM YOUR PARENTS.

THE GYM IS BEING REPAINTED,

AND IS CLOSED UNTIL TOMORROW AFTERNOON.

AND NOW FOR A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT...

( CARTMAN ) AVAST THERE, MATEYS !

DO YOU HAVE A THIRST FOR ADVENTURE

ON THE HIGH SEAS OF LIFE ?!

ARE YE' SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR PARENTS AND TEACHERS

TELLIN' YE' WHAT TO DO ALL THE TIME ?!

THEN JOIN CAPTAIN CARTMAN'S PERFECT PIRATE CLUB !

ARGH !

JUST IMAGINE IT, ME' HEARTIES !

A LIFE WITHOUT RULES, WITHOUT HOMEWORK AND CHORES !

YOU CAN LIVE THE PIRATES LIFE IN SOMALIA ME' FRIENDS,

EVEN KYLE SAID SO.

OUR FIRST OFFICIAL PIRATE MEETIN' WILL BE 4:00 P.M. TODAY

AT KEVIN STOLEY'S HOUSE !

AT MY HOUSE ? WHY MY HOUSE ?

THERE WILL BE REFRESHMENTS SERVED !

SO MAKE SURE YOUR MOM GOES TO THE GROCERY STORE, KEVIN !

SO COME ONE, COME ALL !

THE INVITATION IS OPEN TO ANY STUDENT

WHO WANTS TO BE A PIRATE

AND WHO ISN'T JEWISH, MEXICAN OR GINGER.

ARGHGHGH !

( BOY ) AND FOR LUNCH TODAY, THE CAFETERIA WILL BE SERVING

TACO SALAD OR HOAGIE SANDWICHES.

THANK YOU.

"AHOY, FELLOW CLUB MEMBERS !

"CONGRATULATIONS ON LEAVING YOUR MEANINGLESS LIVES BEHIND

"TO BECOME PIRATES.

"YOUR LIFE OF BOREDOM IS AT AN END

"THANKS TO CAPTAIN CARTMAN !

ALL HANDS ON DECK !"

( BLOWING WHISTLE )

ATTEN-TION !

ALL RIGHT, YE' BOOTY-LUBBERS !

SO YOU'VE DECIDED TO JOIN CAPTAIN CARTMAN, DID YE--

UH, GUYS, WHO LET IN THE G-I-N-G-E-R ?

WELL, THERE'S REALLY NOT THAT MANY OF US.

WE FIGURED WE SHOULD LET HIM JOIN.

BUT, GUYS, G-I-N-G-E-R'S

CAN'T BE PIRATES 'CAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE SOULS.

PLEASE GET IT OUT OF HERE.

FINE, I DON'T WANNA BE A PIRATE ANYWAYS !

OKAY, ANYWAYS.

NOW ENOUGH SMALL TALK, LADS !

IT'S TIME FOR US TO START RAPIN' AND PLUNDERIN' !

YEAH !

WE SET COURSE TOMORROW !

I PURCHASED EVERYONE'S TICKETS ON-LINE

USIN' ME' MUDDER'S CREDIT CARD !

AND YOUR MOM IS OKAY WITH THAT ?

DUDE, I'M A PIRATE !

WHAT THE DEVIL DO I CARE WHAT ME' MUDDER THINKS ANYMORE ?!

NEAT-O !

ALL RIGHT, LADS !

GO HOME AND WRITE YOUR FAREWELL LETTERS TO YOUR FAMILIES !

THE LAND OF PIRATES AWAITS !

PIRATES HO !

PIRATES HO !

PIRATES HO !

HO !

KEVIN, GODDAMN IT.

HAVE A GOOD FLIGHT.

NEXT, PLEASE ?

WE BE HEADIN' TO SOMALIA, BY WAY OF MIAMI TO CAIRO.

AND TAKE CARE YE' PUT US IN AN EXIT ROW, YE' LANDLUBBER.

I SEE...

YOU FIVE BOYS ARE ALL BOOKED THROUGH

TO CAIRO BY YOURSELVES ?

THAT WE BE, LASS.

IT'S ALL PAID FER' ON ME MUDDER'S CREDIT CARD.

OH, JEEZ, I DON'T KNOW IF

I CAN REALLY GO THROUGH WITH THIS.

WHAT ?!

IT'S JUST LEAVING EVERYTHING BEHIND--

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M ACTUALLY DOING IT.

YEAH, MAYBE WE SHOULD THINK ABOUT THIS.

YOU GUYS-- THE FUCK ?!

ARE YOU FORGETTING HOW CRAPPY YOUR LIVES ARE ?!

ALL THE HOMEWORK ? THE RULES ?

BUTTERS, DO YOU REALLY WANNA JUST GO BACK TO SCHOOL,

WHERE PEOPLE JUST MAKE FUN OF YOU ?

- WHO, YOU MEAN YOU ? - YES !

DO YOU REALLY WANNA GO BACK TO THAT ?!

NO, I'M SICK OF IT !

WELL, ALL RIGHT THEN, FAG !

WE CAN'T TURN BACK NOW !

THE PATH TO ADVENTURE LIES JUST BEYOND THIS TICKET COUNTER

AND IF YOU FOUR HAVE REALLY COME ALL THIS WAY

JUST TO TURN BACK NOW, THEN SERIOUSLY, YOU GUYS--

THE FUCK ?

HE'S RIGHT, LADS !

TO ADVENTURE !

THIS IS SOMALIA ?

WHERE'S ALL THE WATERFALLS AND SHIPWRECK LAGOONS ?

THE FUCK ?

EXCUSE ME, WHERE ARE THE PIRATES ?

EH ?

HEY, HEY, WE'RE LOOKING FOR THE PIRATES ?

WHERE CAN WE FIND THE--

BUTTERS, GET THE PHRASE BOOK OUT.

ASK THESE PEOPLE WHERE THE PIRATES ARE.

UH...

( SPEAKING IN SOMALI )

( SPEAKING IN SOMALI )

OH, HE'S SAYS THEY'RE IN THERE.

AH, NICE !

COME ON, MATEYS !

YES, BLAH BLUBBB BLAH BLAH-- THANK YOU.

AVAST !

THESE AREN'T PIRATES.

THEY'RE JUST A BUNCH OF BLACK PEOPLE.

I AM CAPTAIN CARTMAN AND THIS HERE BE MY TERRIBLE CREW !

WE BE LOOKIN' FER A SHIP TO PIRATE WITH !

YES, VERY NICE.

APPARENTLY THESE ARE THE PIRATES.

AH, EXCELLENT !

THEY'RE TAKING US TO A SHIP !

ONCE WE COMMANDEER A VESSEL

THE PLUNDERING WILL BE EASY INDEED, LADS !

THIS IS YOUR PIRATE BOAT ?

DUDE... THE FUCK ?

ALL RIGHT, SERIOUSLY, YOU GUYS,

WHAT KIND OF PIRATES ARE YOU ?

I MEAN, REALLY, THE FUCK, DUDE.

THE FUCK ?

ALL RIGHT, LADS, GUESS WE'LL HAVE TO SETTLE

WITH THIS MEAGER SHIP.

TWO OF YOU SIT AFT AND TWO OF YOU SIT IN THE FRONT.

I GOTTA SIT MIDDLE 'CAUSE I GET MOTION SICKNESS.

KEVIN, JESUS CHRIST.

HARD TO STARBOARD, LADS !

THERE'S SURE TO BE LOTS OF BOOTYS OUT HERE !

( CRYING )

CLYDE, THE FUCK ?

YOU SAID THERE WAS GONNA BE CRYSTAL-CLEAR LAGOONS

AND TREASURE AND PLUNDER !

CALM DOWN, CLYDE !

EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE OKAY !

NO IT'S NOT, YOU MADE ME RUN AWAY AND BE A PIRATE

AND THERE'S NOT EVEN ANY TREASURE !

IKE, WILL YOU DO SOMETHING ABOUT CLYDE PLEASE ?!

VERY NICE, IKE.

ALL RIGHT, ME' HEARTIES !

KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN FOR BOATS TO PLUNDER !

( ALARM BLARING )

DUDE, DUDE !

YOU'RE DOING IT ALL WRONG.

LET ME HANDLE THIS.

ALL RIGHT, YA' SCALLYWAGS !

SURRENDER YOUR PLUNDER

LEST WE START FIRING SHOTS ACROSS YER' BOW !

YEAH, THAT'S GOOD BUT NOW GO, "ARRRRGH !"

ARRRHGGHGH !

YEAH ?

HE'S NOT JUST STAYING AT THEIR HOUSES ?

NO, DUDE, EVERYONE'S CHECKED.

I THINK CARTMAN REALLY RAN AWAY TO SOMALIA.

YES !

I CAN'T HELP BUT TAKE SOME CREDIT FOR THIS.

I HELPED CONVINCE HIM TO GO !

YOU REALLY THINK HE'LL DIE IN SOMALIA ?

OH, FOR SURE, DUDE.

IT'S THE MOST GODFORSAKEN PLACE ON THE PLANET.

THINGS ARE FINALLY GONNA BE NORMAL AROUND HERE.

OH, GOD ! OH, GOD !

WHAT DID WE DO WRONG, GERALD ?!

TAKE IT EASY, WE'LL FIND HIM !

I'LL CALL YOU BACK.

OH, KYLE, HE'S GONE !

YOUR LITTLE BROTHER'S RUN AWAY FROM HOME !

WHAT ? ARE YOU SURE ?

HE LEFT A NOTE SAYING HE'S NEVER COMING BACK !

"DEAR MOMMY AND DADDY, I AM RUNNING AWAY.

"I AM SORRY, BUT I CAN NO LONGER HANDLE

"THE MONOTONY OF MIDDLE-CLASS LIFE.

"EVERYONE AT SCHOOL IS A FUCKING IDIOT

"AND IF ONE MORE PERSON TALKED TO ME ABOUT

"THAT SUSAN BOYLE PERFORMANCE OF 'LES MISERABLE'

"I WAS GOING TO PUKE MY BALLS OUT THROUGH MY MOUTH.

"I LOVE YOU ALL, BUT I HAVE TO MOVE ON.

"I'M GOING TO SOMALIA TO BE A...

TO BE A PIRATE ?!"

OH, SHIT !

OH, GERALD, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ?!

IT'S ALL RIGHT, HE COULDN'T HAVE GONE FAR.

LET'S CALL THE OTHER KIDS' HOUSES.

OH, GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE ?

THE FUCK ARE YOU PIRATES DOING ?!

ARE WE GONNA PLUNDER THEM OR NOT ?!

ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO! !

QUIET, YE' SONS OF BISCUIT-EATERS !

THIS BOAT IS NOW PIRATE PROPERTY !

NOW GET YE' TO YER' LIFEBOAT, LEST YE' WANNA BE SHARK BAIT !

PLUNDER THE BOOTY, LADS !

THIS SHIP IS OURS !

OKAY !

I SAID GET OFF MY BOAT !

AHGHGHGHGGH !

AHGHGHGHGGH !

( SPEAKING FRENCH )

THAT'S IT !

GET IN THERE, YA' SWARMY DOGS !

LOWER 'EM DOWN, IKE !

HAVE A GOOD DAY !

HARD TO PORT, LADS !

HARD TO PORT !

WHAT'S PORT ?

JUST MAKE THE BOAT GO THAT WAY, KIND OF.

( HORN HONKING )

THAT'S GOOD ! NOW BRING 'ER AROUND TOPSIDE !

NOW THAT'S A PIRATE SHIP.

A FINE DAY OF PLUNDERIN' WE HAD, BOYS.

WHAT ABOUT YOURSELVES ?

HERE YA ARE, LADS !

PLENTY OF BOOTY TO GO AROUND !

A ROUND OF GROG FOR ME BOYS.

A ROUND OF GROG FOR EVERYONE !

THE FUCK IS THIS ?

THIS IS WATER IN A DIXIE CUP !

ALL RIGHT, GODDAMN IT,

REALLY, YOU GUYS, WHAT KIND OF PIRATES ARE YOU ?!

LOOK AT YOURSELVES !

YOU'RE A DISGRACE TO BLACKBEARD !

I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU PEOPLE GET OFF

CALLING YOURSELVES PIRATES--

LITTLE BEAT-UP BOATS WATER IN DIXIE CUPS--

I MEAN, I MEAN, LOOK, LOOK AT THIS GUY ?!

LOOK AT THIS GUY, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE !

I MEAN, HOW HARD IS THIS, PEOPLE ?!

I TELL YA', LADS, IF WE'RE GONNA BE

THE MOST FEARED PEOPLE ON EARTH

THEN THERE NEEDS TO BE SOME GODDAMN CHANGES AROUND HERE !

WE DRINK AND WE PILLAGE

AND WE DO WHAT WE PLEASE

WE GET ALL THAT WE WANT FOR FREE

WE'LL KICK YOUR ASS THEN RAPE YOUR LASS

SOMALIAN PIRATES WE

SO WITH A YO HO HO -- ♪

UH, GODDAMN IT, PEOPLE.

WITH A YO HO HO

YO HO HO

AND WITH A YEE HEE HEE

YEE HEE HEE

WE TAKE TO THE AFRICAN SEA

WE'LL BRAVE THE SQUALLS AND BUST YOUR BALLS

SOMALIAN PIRATES WE

SOMALIAN PIRATES WE

WE LEFT OUR HOMES AND WE LEFT OUR MUDDERS

TO GO ON A PILLAGIN' SPREE

WE'LL CUT OFF YOUR EARS AND BREAK YOUR TOES

AND MAKE YOU DRINK OUR PEE

AND IF YE' SAIL INTO OUR WATERS

YOU BEST HEAR THIS DECREE

WE'LL TAKE YOUR BOAT AND SET YER ASS AFLOAT

SOMALIAN PIRATE WE

NICE ! ♪ WITH A YO HO HO

YO HO HO

AND A TRICK A LOTTY DO

TRICK A LOTTY DO

WE'LL SHOOT YOU IN THE FACE WITH GLEE... ♪

OKAY, OKAY, LET'S STOP THERE FOR A MINUTE.

REMEMBER ON "TRICK A LOTTY DO"

THAT'S A LOTT Y DO.

OKAY, I REALLY NEED YOU GUYS TO ENUNCIATE THE LOTTY.

UH, NADIF ?

IF I CAN YOU AND ABDIKARIM

TO SING THE HARMONY ON THE SECOND "YO HO."

AND, UH, HASHMISH, IS IT ?

I'M SORRY, BUT YOU'RE A LITTLE FLAT.

REMEMBER TO SING OUT, DON'T CLOSE YOUR THROAT, OKAY ?

SO LET'S GO FROM, UH, BAR 14.

WE'LL PICK UP AFTER THE QUARTER REST.

IKE ?

SOMALIAN PIRATES WE

BETTER ! ♪ WITH A YO HO HO

YO HO HO

AND A TRICK A LOTT Y DO

TRICK A LO TTY DO

WE'LL SHOOT YOU IN THE FACE WITH GLEE

THEN WE'LL CUT OFF YOUR COCK AND FEED IT TO A CROC

SOMALIAN PIRATES WE

SOMALIAN PIRATES

WEEEEEEE

SOMALIAN PIRATES

WEEEEEE

( FOG HORN BELLOWING )

WE FOUND THEM ADRIFT IN A LIFE BOAT, SIR.

THEY SAY THAT PIRATES TOOK THEIR SHIP BY FORCE.

DAMN PIRATES !

WHAT'S CAUSING THEM TO SUDDENLY BE SO MUCH MORE ACTIVE ?

IS THE CREW OKAY ?

YES, SIR, THEY'RE FRENCH

SO THEY SURRENDERED IMMEDIATELY.

ONCE THE PIRATES BOARDED YOUR SHIP,

HOW DID THEY FORCE YOU OFF ?

ELLES AV AIT LIGHT SABER !

OUI, UN LIGHT SABER !

LE LIGHT SABER TERRIB LE !

( IMITATING SABER BUZZ )

AHH !

SIR, THE PIRATES APPEAR TO HAVE

FORCED THE FRENCH CREW OFF THEIR BOAT WITH A LIGHT SABER.

MY GOD.

THE PIRATES ARE GETTING BETTER EQUIPPED EVERY DAY.

GENTLEMEN, I WANT THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES

ON THE PHONE.

WE CAN NO LONGER FIGHT THE PIRATES ON THE SEAS.

WE HAVE TO TAKE THEM OUT WHERE THEY LIVE.

WHAT DID I TELL YOU, BUTTERS ?

THIS IS THE GOOD LIFE, HUH ?

( GUNSHOTS & CHATTER )

( MEN SPEAKING IN SOMALI )

WHAT'S GOING ON ?

AH, GOOD, A HOSTAGE WILL BRING A FINE RANSOM !

WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL.

( ANNOUNCER ) THIS IS CNN.... N.

BREAKING NEWS OF YET ANOTHER PIRATE CRISIS IN SOMALIA.

THAT PIRATES HAVE CAPTURED AN AMERICAN CHILD

AND ARE DEMANDING 10 MILLION EUROS

FOR HIS SAFE RELEASE.

US NAVY SHIPS HAVE BEEN DEPLOYED

AND THE PIRATE STANDOFF IS ABOUT TO GET UGLY.

WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL,

WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL, KYLE.

YOU CAME ALL THIS WAY TO TRY AND JOIN MY PIRATE CLUB.

NO, FAT ASS, I CAME TO GET MY BROTHER !

WE ALL HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE !

IT ISN'T SAFE !

IT ISN'T SAFE.

THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAID BACK IN THE CAFETERIA, KYLE.

IN THE CAFETERIA YOU SAID SOMALIA WAS AWESOME.

I KNOW, WAS LYING THEN.

OR ARE YOU LYING NOW ?

SO MANY LIES, KYLE, YOU CAN'T EVEN KEEP THEM STRAIGHT !

YOU JUST COULDN'T STAND THAT WE WERE LIVING IN PARADISE

WHILE YOU WERE BACK HOME.

THIS ISN'T PARADISE AND YOU KNOW IT.

THE PEOPLE HERE ARE STARVING AND DYING.

THE WHOLE WORLD HAS USED SOMALIA

AS A DUMPING GROUND FOR TOXIC WASTE.

EVEN THE FISH HERE ARE RADIOACTIVE !

( SCREAMING )

CARTMAN, JUST GIVE ME MY BROTHER

AND LET US GET OUT OF HERE.

YOUR BROTHER IS WITH BUTTERS,

TAKING INVENTORY OUR LATEST PLUNDER, KYLE.

YOU, JUST SIT TIGHT

'TIL WE HEAR ABOUT YOUR RANSOM MONEY.

ONE BOX OF ITALIAN PASSPORTS !

ONE NECKLACE-- GOLD !

THREE CREW MEMBER WATCHES--

EXCUSE ME, CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION ?

OH, SURE, GULEED.

WHY DID YOU AMERICANS COME HERE ?

WELL, 'CAUSE OUR LIVES SUCKED BACK HOME.

WE HAD ALL THESE RULES AND HOMEWORK.

YEAH, HOMEWORK !

AND OUR PARENTS HOLLERED AT US.

YEAH !

SO WE WANTED TO COME HERE AND BE PIRATES !

PIRATES !

BUT THAT'S WHAT I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO BE A PIRATE ?

HUH ?

EVERY DAY I DREAM THAT I CAN GO TO SCHOOL,

LEARN ABOUT THE WORLD.

BUT MY MOTHER, SHE'S DYING OF AIDS

AND THERE IS NO MONEY FOR MEDICINE.

MY FATHER WAS KILLED TRYING TO FIND FOOD FOR US.

DO YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL

EVERY TIME WE TRY TO CAPTURE A BOAT ?

SCARED.

AND NOT JUST SCARED BECAUSE I MIGHT GET KILLED

BUT SCARED BECAUSE IF I DON'T GET SOMETHING OUT OF IT

MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS ARE GOING TO DIE.

I DON'T WANT TO BE A PIRATE.

I DON'T SEE HOW ANYBODY WOULD.

OH, MY GOD.

JEEZ, GUESS WE KINDA GOT PUT IN OUR PLACE, HUH, IKE ?

I FEEL LIKE AN ASSHOLE.

YEAH, ME TOO.

GO ON, WALK THE PLANK, YE' SCURVY DOG !

CARTMAN, KNOCK IT OFF !

THAT'S CAPTAIN CARTMAN, YE' JEWSWOGGLE.

ERIC-- HEY, ERIC !

LISTEN, WE WANNA GO HOME.

WHAT ?!

ME AND IKE, WE BEEN TALKI'' AND... WUL, GUYS,

WE REALLY HAD IT PRETTY GOOD BACK IN AMERICA.

I MEAN, SURE, IT'S EASY TO THINK OUR LIVES

ARE BORING AND FULL OF RULES,

BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE IT WAY WORSE.

THE PIRATES' LIFE ISN'T A LIFE OF FUN AND ADVENTURE.

IT'S A LIFE OF HARDSHIP AND SUFFERING.

WHEN YOU GET DOWN TO IT,

WE WERE PRETTY LUCKY TO HAVE THE LIVES WE DID.

( CRYING )

CLYDE ?!

I HATE IT HERE, I WANNA GO HOMMMME !

YOU GUYS CANNOT LEAVE THE PIRATE CLUB NOW !

HOW CAN YOU NOT WANT TO STAY

IN THIS PARADISE WE'VE CREATED ?!

IN SOMALIA PEOPLE HAVE NO LAWS !

THEY HAVE NO RULES AND THEY NEVER GROW OLD !

THEY NEVER GROW OLD BECAUSE THEY DIE BEFORE THEY'RE 30 !

NOBODY'S GOING ANYWHERE !

I'M THE CAPTAIN OF THIS OUTFIT !

( WHISTLING )

TO ARMS !

( GUNS COCKING )

NOW, IS THERE ANY QUESTION WHO'S IN CHARGE ?!

I HAVE AN ENTIRE PIRATE CREW WILLING TO DO ANYTHING FOR ME !

ALL RIGHT, MEN, REMEMBER, DO NOT HIT THE WHITE ONES !

ME AND MY CREW ARE GONNA GO ON PIRATIN' FOREVER !

( SILENCED GUNSHOTS )

CLEAR.

THE FUCK ?!

The Description of Fatbeard