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[WAGNER'S LOHENGRIN (PRELUDE, ACT III) PLAYING]

[CROWD CHEERING]

[BELL RINGS TWICE]

Sean: IT IS SAFE TO ASSUME THAT PROFESSIONAL WRESTLERS

ARE UNIVERSALLY RECOGNIZED

AS THE GREATEST ATHLETES OF ALL TIME.

SAMMARTINO, BLASSIE, GORGEOUS GEORGE,

GEORGE "THE ANIMAL" STEELE, SUPERFLY SNUKA,

ANDRE THE GIANT, HULK HOGAN.

THESE ARE HEROES OF HISTORY,

SUPERIOR ATHLETES,

SUPERIOR MEN.

GIANTS COME AND GO IN THIS GREAT SPORT OF OURS,

BUT THERE IS ONLY ONE KING--

JIMMY KING.

JIMMY KING

IS THE GREATEST WRESTLER OF ALL TIME.

HE'S UNDEFEATED,

AND HE HOLDS THE RECORD FOR THE LONGEST WINNING STREAK

IN THE HISTORY OF PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING.

KING SAYS, AND I QUOTE...

"PEOPLE ALWAYS SAID I WAS A DREAMER,

"AN IDIOT AND A WASTE OF LIFE,

AND I WILL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING."

HEY, JACKASS.

YOU'RE A WASTE OF LIFE.

WHY DON'T YOU GO AMOUNT TO NOTHING SOMEWHERE ELSE?

AND I TOLD YOU LITTLE PERVERTS

NOT TO PARK YOUR JUNK IN FRONT OF THE SHOP!

WRESTLING IS FOR RETARDS!

OOH, JIMMY KING'S THE GREATEST! EHH...

YOU GUYS ARE AS DUMB AS PAINT.

REALLY DUMB PAINT.

[SLURPS]

GENTLEMEN, I'M SORRY.

LISTEN, JIMMY KING IS THE PEOPLE'S CHAMPION.

HE'S IMMORTAL. HE'S TIMELESS.

HE CAN RAISE THE DEAD.

CAN HE REALLY RAISE THE DEAD?

'CAUSE MY DOG SKIPPER'S BURIED

UNDERNEATH MY SANDBOX.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOUR DOG SKIPPER,

BUT DON'T WORRY, BECAUSE TOMORROW NIGHT,

JIMMY KING IS GONNA WHUP DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE'S ASS,

AND WE'RE GONNA BE THERE,

RIGHT, GORDIE?

[SLURPS]

GORDIE?

[MAN YELLS]

GORDIE?

WHAT DO YOU WANT, BOOB?

PURPLE SUGAR SLUSH, KING SIZE.

THAT'LL BE $1.26.

$1.25. THAT'S ALL I GOT.

THAT'S JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH, NOW, IS IT, YOU LITTLE BOOB?

YOU LITTLE JIMMY THE KING FAN BOOB.

OH, JIMMY KING'S A BIG, FAT LOSER.

HE'S A SISSY IN TIGHTS.

THERE'S A LOT OF GLARE COMING OFF THAT DOME OF YOURS,

SQUIRREL NUTS!

LISTEN, SUNSHINE, I'M GONNA OPEN UP

A FRESH CAN OF WHUP-ASS ON YOU, BOY. YEAH!

BRING IT ON!

AAH!

AAH!

[CROWD CHEERING]

WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA! OW!

TAG ME!

TAG ME!

[CROWD BOOING]

NOW YOU'RE GONNA GET IT.

YOU MESSED WITH THE MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE.

I'M GONNA GET YA, YEAH!

HA HA!

AAH!

BAM! BAM! BAM!

Gordie: KING!

EEK!

AAH!

AAH!

[CROWD CHEERING]

1, 2, 3!

[CROWD CHEERING]

Sean: GORDIE. GORDIE.

GORDIE.

OHH. WHOA, SERIOUS BRAIN-FREEZE.

THAT ICY SUGAR LOCKED UP MY NOG-NOG.

WELL...

WHAT ABOUT ME, GUY? I WAS THIRSTY, TOO.

OH. I'LL GET YOU A REFILL.

NO, DON'T SWEAT IT. THE GUY'S A MORON.

COME ON, I FEEL BAD.

HEY, GORDIE?

YEAH?

WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE YOU HAVE YOUR FINGER IN YOUR BUTT?

BECAUSE I DO.

ALL RIGHT, JERKO, WHAT DO YOU WANT?

I NEED A NEW SUGAR SLUSH.

WHY?

'CAUSE THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS ONE.

SMELL IT.

EWW! EWW!

OH, THAT'S AWFUL.

I KNOW.

SMELLS LIKE...LIKE...

LIKE MY ASS, RIGHT?

YEAH.

MAYBE YOUR ASS. IT'S WEIRD, HUH?

LIKE A BITTER, SOUR ASS!

IT'S LIKE YOU POURED IT RIGHT FROM YOUR BUTT.

OHH! OHH!

I WILL GET YOU ANOTHER ONE ASAP.

THANKS.

IT'S SO BAD.

HOW COULD YOU DRINK THAT?

I STRUGGLED THROUGH MOST OF IT,

BUT THE BUTT-FRUIT JUST KIND OF SETTLED AT THE BOTTOM.

[SIREN WAILS]

[TIRES SCREECH]

[DOOR OPENS]

FREEZE, LOAFER.

COME ON DOWN.

KEEP YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM.

COME ON. YOU KNOW THE DRILL.

YOU GOT ANY STUFF ON YA?

HUH?

WHOA.

WHAT'S THIS?

THAT'S MY NUTS.

LISTEN, PAL,

WOULDN'T YOU RATHER BE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS SEARCH?

DO YOU WANT ME TO GRAB YOUR NUTS?

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. YEAH, YOU, TOO.

COME ON, SWEETHEART. JOIN THE PARTY.

KEEP--KEEP YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM.

DAD, YOU GOT TO CUT THE CRAP WITH THESE SHAKEDOWNS.

OH, YOU'RE GONNA BE A GOOD COP, GORDIE.

IT--IT'LL CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

WELL, LOOK WHAT IT'S DONE FOR YOUR MOM AND YOUR SISTER.

WHAT IS THIS CRAP?

WRESTLING.

PSST, GORDIE...

WRESTLING'S FAKE.

[SHRIEKING] WRESTLING'S NOT FAKE!

[SOFTLY] I LIKE WRESTLING.

ARE YOU GONNA BE A WRESTLER?

[LAUGHING] YOU GOT TROUBLE

WRESTLING YOUR WEE-WEE OUT OF YOUR TROUSERS

TO TAKE A LEAK.

IT'S NOT THAT I HAVE TROUBLE.

[LAUGHING]

SOMETIMES I DON'T SEE THE POINT.

GORDON...

WRESTLING'S A GAME FOR LITTLE BOYS.

POLICE WORK'S FOR MEN.

COME ON, GORDIE. LET'S BOUNCE.

WRESTLING'S FOR DIRTBAGS AND LILY-PICKERS.

YOU'LL BE BACK.

THE BADGE'LL BE WAITIN'!

MY DAD SUCKS, MAN.

AT LEAST YOU GOT ONE.

RIGHT. SORRY.

IT'S JUST THAT HE'S ALWAYS ON MY ASS ABOUT GETTING A JOB.

I MEAN, HE'S MAKING ME TAKE THAT COP EXAM.

DUDE, YOU HAVE A JOB.

I KNOW. TCH.

I MEAN, I SHOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE UP MY MIND

ABOUT WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE.

THAT'S RIGHT.

IT'S LIKE JIMMY KING SAYS,

"THIS IS AMERICA. I CAN BE ANYONE I WANT."

HE ACTUALLY SAYS, "I CAN BEAT UP ANYONE I WANT."

REALLY?

[LAUGHING] YEAH.

BUT WHO CARES, BRO? WHAT'S TONIGHT?

Both: MONDAY NIGHT NITRO!

LIVE, BABY, LIVE, LIVE, BABY, LIVE

THIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME, OK?

IT'S GONNA BE OUT OF CONTROL.

PAGE VS. KING,

AND IT'S NOT A PAY-PER-VIEW, HUH?

OH, YEAH!

HEY, SHIT BOYS. HOW'S THE SHIT WORK?

EXCUSE THE MESS IN THERE. MY AIM'S A LITTLE OFF.

I'VE BEEN USING THE JACKHAMMER.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

THE JACKHAMMER.

ALL DONE. WE DID IT.

GOOD JOB, GORDIE.

YOU, TOO.

A LITTLE TOO MUCH COFFEE FOR ME TODAY, I THINK.

DON'T DO IT.

WHAT?

DON'T "WHAT" ME. YOU KNOW WHAT.

DON'T DO IT.

FRIENDS DON'T DO IT TO FRIENDS.

OK.

IF YOU DO IT,

JIMMY KING WILL GET HURT TONIGHT.

DON'T DO IT.

OK. DON'T WORRY, I WON'T.

[BLOWS NOSE NOISILY]

GORDIE.

NOTHING CAN HURT JIMMY KING.

WHOA! HEY!

[LAUGHING]

GORDIE, STOP IT, PLEASE!

I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS, GORDIE!

AAAAAH!

MAKE IT STOP!

AW, SEAN, I'M SORRY, MAN. I COULDN'T HELP IT.

SEAN, ARE YOU OK, MAN?

SEAN!

COULDN'T HELP IT, HUH?

I CAN'T HELP DELIVERING A SUPLEX TO YOUR FAT GUT!

GET OFF ME!

WELCOME TO EZ TAKE-OUT BURGER.

HOW MAY I HELP YOU?

SEAN WANTS BRITTANY'S TACO.

WITH CHEESE ALL OVER.

STOP.

iPOR FAVOR!

STOP!

[SIGHS] I SHOULD HAVE SMELLED IT WAS YOU.

WHAT DO YOU GUYS WANT?

HI, BRITTANY. I'M SORRY.

CAN I PLEASE HAVE A, UH, UH, UH, UH, UH, UH,

A CHEESEBURGER MAXI-MEAL--

AND THE BRITTANY BARE-ASS BUFFET.

PLEASE!

THE RED-EYE SPECIAL!

PLEASE!

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

HE SAID HE WANTED THE BRITTANY...[MUTTERS]

STOP!

DID YOU JUST SAY--

WE'RE GONNA PULL UP NOW!

WHY?

WHY DON'T YOU JUST ASK HER OUT, MAN?

HOW DOES MY HAIR LOOK?

LOOKING FINESSE?

YOU'RE DRIVING A TRUCK FULL OF ASS JUICE.

I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT YOUR HAIR.

I CANNOT DEAL WITH THESE LOSERS.

I'M GONNA WORK THE CHEESE.

HI, GORDIE.

SEAN.

HI, WENDY.

WHERE'D BRITTANY GO?

SHE SWITCHED TO CHEESE.

SEAN, YOU THINK KING'S GONNA PUT A HURTING

ON DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE?

YES, I MOST CERTAINLY DO.

HEY, BRITTANY, HOW'S THE WEATHER IN THERE?

COLD TODAY, HOT TAMALE?

LEAVE ME ALONE, LOSER!

AU CORVAIR.

WOULD A LOSER HAVE 2 TICKETS TO MONDAY NIGHT NITRO

LIVE FROM CHEYENNE TONIGHT?!

YES!

OH.

BRITTANY, LISTEN TO ME.

LET'S GO OUT AGAIN.

WE'LL GO OUT. WE WON'T TALK ABOUT WRESTLING.

WE WON'T TALK ABOUT JIMMY KING.

WE'LL TALK ABOUT ME AND YOU.

YOU SHOULD GIVE UP ON BRITTANY, MAN.

NO WAY.

SHE'S MY DREAM GIRL, BRO.

COME ON.

WELL, WHAT ABOUT WENDY? SHE DIGS YOU.

WELL, SHE'S TOO MUCH LIKE ONE OF THE GUYS.

THAT'S BAD?

IT'S GAY.

RIGHT.

LOOK WHAT I MADE.

W-W-WICKED.

UH, WICKED.

HA HA, NO.

IT STANDS FOR SOMETHING.

W.W.K.D.

"WHAT WOULD KING DO?"

EVERY TIME I GOT A PROBLEM,

EVERY TIME I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO,

I LOOK DOWN, AND I LOOK AT IT, AND I THINK.

WHAT WOULD KING DO?

MAN, THAT ROCKS.

I MADE 2.

THAT ROCKS HARD, MAN.

AFTERNOON, MRS. MACKENZIE!

READY FOR THAT BIG MATCH TONIGHT IN CHEYENNE?

OH, YES, BOYS. JIMMY KING IS GONNA BITCH-SLAP DIAMOND DALLAS.

YES, HE IS. WE'RE GONNA BE THERE. WE'RE GOING.

GET ME A T-SHIRT. A REALLY TIGHT ONE.

THAT'S GROSS, MRS. MACKENZIE.

[GUN COCKS]

FREEZE!

HEY.

YOUR SISTER SHOT HER FIRST PERP TODAY.

THAT'S NICE, GABBY.

SHE PUT ONE SHOT IN HIS RIGHT BUTTOCK.

JUST DOING HER JOB.

THAT'S GREAT.

SEE YOU GUYS LATER.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

YOU BETTER BE BACK BY 11:00.

YOU GOT A POLICE ADMISSION SEMINAR TOMORROW.

YEAH, DAD, I'VE BEEN GIVING THAT A LOT OF THOUGHT--

I'LL SEE YOU AT 11:00.

AAH!

YEAH!

Gordie: HEY, KID, MOVE YOUR FAT HEAD!

I CAN'T SEE THE FIGHT!

SORRY. UNCLE BILLY SAID THEY WERE GOOD SEATS.

UNCLE BILLY SUCKS.

HEY, UNCLE BILLY LOST HIS RIGHT NUT IN NAM.

KICK HIM IN HIS LEFT NUT WHEN YOU SEE HIM AGAIN.

THESE SEATS BITE!

HEY, IF YOU ONLY HAVE ONE LEFT,

IS IT STILL YOUR LEFT NUT?

TCH, COME ON, MAN, LET'S GET CLOSER.

THE KING'S COMING UP.

1, 2, 3!

[BELL RINGS]

NITRO GIRLS!

NITRO GIRLS DEAD AHEAD.

THERE'S CHAZ, SHE'S THE BEST.

SHE'S SO REAL.

DO NOT CONCUR.

SASHA IS THE BEST OF THE BEST.

GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS

LONG LEGS AND BURGUNDY LIPS

GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS

DANCIN' DOWN ON SUNSET STRIP

HOW YOU DOIN', BOOKER?

HOW YOU DOIN', BOYS?

BILLY, YOU ALL RIGHT?

ALL RIGHT, LOOK, KING'S LATE AGAIN, ALL RIGHT?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I'M SO SICK OF THIS SHIT.

WHAT'S THE FINISH?

THE FINISH, UH...

HE'S GONNA PILE-DRIVE YOU,

THEN HE'LL GET ON THE ROPES,

AND HE'LL CROWN YOU. HE'LL GET THE WIN, AS USUAL.

WHATEVER. I'LL TELL THE KING.

IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU, PAL.

WALK WITH ME, WOULD YOU?

COME HERE.

ALL RIGHT, FORGET WHAT I JUST TOLD YOU.

REMEMBER I TOLD YOU I'D TAKE CARE OF YOU?

YEAH.

TONIGHT'S YOUR NIGHT.

TONIGHT?

TONIGHT.

IT WORKS FOR ME, BRO.

Gene Okerlund: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

HERE WE GO WITH TONIGHT'S MAIN EVENT

FOR THE WCW HEAVYWEIGHT CROWN.

THIS IS KING. PAGE VS. KING!

OH, HELL, YEAH.

PAGE VS. KING!

DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE!

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

[CROWD BOOING]

BOO!

BOO!

BAM!

Mike Tenay: IT'S TIME, FOLKS.

IT'S FINALLY HERE.

KING VS. DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE.

COME ON, DIAMOND DALLAS. TAKE IT LIKE THE PUNK BITCH YOU ARE!

THE KING OF ROCK IS HOLDING COURT TONIGHT.

HE IS THE REIGNING

WCW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD.

PLEASE WELCOME JIMMY KING!

BEHOLD THE KING.

[FANFARE PLAYING]

WHOO!

YEAH, BABY!

ALL NIGHT LONG!

YEAH!

YEAH!

Tenay: HERE COMES JIMMY.

LOOK AT THAT, WITH ALL THE MAJESTY AND FLAIR,

BEFITTING A TRUE KING.

HELLO, CHEYENNE, WYOMING.

WE GONNA RULE SOME ASS TONIGHT?

YEAH!

I WANT TO WELCOME YOU TO THE ROYAL ASS-KICKIN'

OF DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE.

[CHEERING]

YOU WANT TO SEE ME MAKE DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE

ONE OF MY LADIES IN WAITING TONIGHT?

YEAH!

YOU WANT TO SEE ME TAKE DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE

DOWN INTO MY DUNGEON

AND MAKE HIM MY MEDIEVAL PUPPY-DOG BITCH TONIGHT?

[CHEERING]

YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT, 'CAUSE I'M THE...

SING IT, MAN.

♪ 'CAUSE I'M THE KING OF ROCK, THERE IS NONE HIGHER

SUCKER EMCEES SHOULD CALL ME SIRE

TO BURN MY KINGDOM YOU MUST USE FIRE

I DON'T STOP ROCKIN' TILL I RETIRE

I LOVE THAT SHIT!

[CROWD BOOING]

AND LOOK AND LISTEN TO THIS CAPACITY CROWD

AND THE REACTION AS WE WOULD ALL EXPECT

FOR TITUS SINCLAIR, WHO'S IN THE RING.

JIMMY, NICE TO SEE YOU COULD MAKE IT.

BOO!

BOO!

YOU SUCK, SINCLAIR!

FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, TITUS, YOU'RE HOGGIN' MY SPOTLIGHT.

YOUR SPOTLIGHT?

I INVENTED YOU, YOU IDIOT.

THIS IS MINE.

YOU SEEM TO HAVE FORGOTTEN THAT.

GO COUNT YOUR MONEY, YOU MIDGET.

YOU KNOW, JIMMY,

YOU'RE STILL THE SAME DUMB TRAILER-HITCH

I DISCOVERED 14 YEARS AGO.

[SIGHS]

I JUST WANT TO HAVE THIS FINAL MOMENT TOGETHER.

[BELL RINGS]

Tenay: THE BELL SOUNDS,

AND THE BATTLE IS UNDERWAY.

WHAT'S THE DEAL, ELVIS?

YOU AIN'T GOT TO GET HERE ON TIME WITH THE REST OF US?

TRAFFIC, BABY. A LITTLE TRAFFIC.

COME ON, COME ON.

NOT TOO GOOD TODAY, KING.

HERE WE GO.

WHAT DO YOU GOT?

GOOD GOD!

YEAH!

THE KING'S SHOWING US

WHAT HAS MADE HIM THE GREAT CHAMPION HE IS.

READY?

OOH OOH OOH!

GOOD SOUND-EFFECTS.

OK, GIVE ME A TACKLE.

YEAH!

HA!

A DOUBLE NECKBREAKER. BOTH MEN ARE DOWN.

Tony Schiavone: WHAT A VICIOUS MOVE THAT IS.

JIMMY KING GOES FOR THE COVER.

HE'S TRYING TO GET AN EARLY WIN HERE.

OH, HE DIDN'T GET IT.

Jimmy: 3! 3!

YOU DO YOUR JOB, I'LL DO MINE.

OK, PAGEY, HIP-TOSS, BABY.

Tenay: OH, DID YOU SEE THAT ELBOW?

DOWN GOES JIMMY KING.

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

Tenay: JIMMY'S IN TROUBLE.

Schiavone: THIS IS AS VICIOUS

AS WE'VE EVER SEEN DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, PAGE?

GET THE HELL OUT OF MY FACE, YOU IDIOT.

WHAT?

BOSS'S ORDERS, FAT BOY.

AAH!

WHAT?

YEAH! KICK HIS LEATHERY ASS!

DESTROY HIM!

Tenay: AND JIMMY KING IS NOT DONE YET.

OH, A PAIR OF SHOTS FROM KING

HAS DDP ON THE DEFENSIVE.

SEE YA!

MIKE, HE BROKE THE TABLE!

OH, MY GOODNESS!

BAM!

Tenay: AND JIMMY KING DOWN ON THE FLOOR.

NOW TRYING TO GET UP TO A KNEE.

COME ON, FAT BOY.

LET ME HELP YOU BACK IN HERE.

COME ON.

OOH, LOOK, OUT OF NOWHERE,

JIMMY KING WITH A FOREIGN OBJECT

TO THE HEAD OF DDP!

JIMMY KING MOUNTING THE CORNER.

I THINK HE'S GONNA GO UP FOR THE CROWN.

CROWN HIM, KING! CROWN HIM!

PREPARE TO BE VARNISHED!

[CROWD BOOING]

Tenay: NOW HERE'S A MOVE THAT WE'VE SEEN BEFORE.

VERY FAMILIAR. DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE

MOTIONING TO THE CROWD

THAT IT'S TIME FOR THE DIAMOND CUTTER.

OHH!

OH, JIMMY KING CAUGHT HIM!

THAT WILL STOP ANYTHING, INCLUDING THE DIAMOND CUTTER,

I CAN TELL YOU THAT.

YEAH!

BOTH MEN ARE DOWN. WAIT A MINUTE.

HERE COMES PAGE'S GOONS LED BY SID VICIOUS.

THEY ARE SOME OF THE BIGGEST AND MEANEST MEN IN OUR SPORT,

AND THEY'RE ALL COMING OUT NOW TO HELP DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE.

WATCH OUT, KING!

YEAH!

POWER BOMB BY SID VICIOUS ON KING!

IT'S A DOUBLE DIAMOND CUTTER!

NO! NO!

TOSS HIM OUT.

Schiavone: WATCH OUT, NOW. HERE THEY COME, FINALLY.

THE KING'S MEN HAVE COME IN TO BAIL HIM OUT.

THAT'S RIGHT!

AW, YEAH!

Tenay: THE WRESTLERS ARE SURROUNDING JIMMY KING.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.

WAIT A MINUTE.

THEY'RE ALL ATTACKING JIMMY KING!

NO! THEY TURNED ON HIM!

SINCLAIR MUST HAVE GOT TO 'EM.

OH, NO!

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!

DDP MOTIONING TO HIS GOONS

TO HEAD UP TO THE TOP ROPE.

KING!

KING!

KING!

KING!

YOU SEE? THIS IS WHAT YOU GET

WHEN YOU SUCK YOUR BUDDY DOWN THE TOILET.

YOU JINXED HIM!

NO. NO, GOD, NO!

GET OFF OF ME!

THIS ISN'T EVEN A PAY-PER-VIEW!

Tenay: 4 MEN!

THERE'S 4 WRESTLERS ON THE 4 CORNERPOSTS.

OH, MY GOD, A 4-POST MASSACRE.

NO ONE CAN SURVIVE THIS.

NO!

NO!

Tenay: IT'S A 4-POST MASSACRE,

AND THEY ALL COME UP AT THE SAME TIME!

INCREDIBLE!

GET UP. COUNT HIM OUT. COUNT HIM OUT!

COUNT IT, REF.

1, 2, 3.

1, 2, 3.

[BELL RINGS]

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

YOUR WINNER AND NEW

WCW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD,

DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE!

[BOOING]

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...

YOU HAVE WITNESSED THE DEMISE OF JIMMY KING.

HE WILL NEVER, EVER FIGHT FOR THE WCW AGAIN.

LONG LIVE THE NEW KING AND REIGNING CHAMPION

DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE!

YAY!

FEEL THAT, JIMMY.

THAT'S YOUR SPOTLIGHT FADING.

WHY?

WHY?

WHY NOT?

YOU'RE THROUGH.

I'M DONE WITH YOU.

REST IN PEACE.

[SNIFFLING]

HOO.

THESE DAMN ALLERGIES.

YEAH, ME, TOO.

DAMN STUPID ALLERGIES.

[CRYING] UNFAIR, BOGUS ALLERGIES.

UNFAIR, CHEATING, BLIND REF, BOGUS, SINCLAIR ALLERGIES!

DAMN DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE!

THAT'S RIGHT, SEAN, LET IT OUT, MAN!

DAMN IT. DAMN IT! DAMN IT! DAMN IT!

WHOA!

WAAH!

WHOA!

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

OH, MY GOD.

OH, MY GOD.

WE MADE IT!

WE'RE ALIVE!

NO, WE'RE NOT.

WOULD THAT BE RAW SEWAGE I'M SMELLING?

[WHINES] YEAH.

I KIND OF ALWAYS LIKED THAT SMELL.

YEAH, ME, TOO.

KIND OF SMELLS LIKE FRENCH TOAST.

WHAT? FRENCH TOAST DIPPED IN SHIT.

[SIREN]

DAMN IT, JIM, WE'RE FIREMEN, NOT JANITORS.

WELL, WE SURE AS HELL AREN'T GONNA CLEAN THIS UP.

SHIT!

WHOA.

WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF THAT?

THAT TRUCK AND THAT BUSINESS

WERE ALL MY DAD LEFT ME WHEN HE DIED.

IT'S ALL I GOT TO REMEMBER HIM BY.

I'LL BE ABLE TO REMEMBER MY DAD

BY THE EPIC BEATING HE GIVES ME

FOR COMING HOME LATE.

WE GOT NO JOBS, GORDIE.

STATE POLICE, HERE I COME.

I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW MUCH WE SUCK.

EVERYTHING'S CHANGED OVERNIGHT.

YEAH. YEAH, BUT IF JIMMY KING

CAN WIN THE TITLE BACK--

GORDIE.

WHAT?

YOU HEARD WHAT SINCLAIR SAID.

HE KICKED JIMMY KING OUT OF THE WCW,

A LIFETIME BAN.

NO REMATCH.

IT'S--IT'S OVER, GORDIE.

JIMMY KING'S DEAD, OK?

SEAN.

WHAT?

DO YOU BELIEVE THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON?

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE THE REASON FOR THIS, HUH?

ALL RIGHT, DON'T YOU THINK IT'S JUST A LITTLE STRANGE

THAT WE JUST HAPPEN TO BE IN CHEYENNE

THE SAME DAY THAT JIMMY KING

WAS CHEATED OUT OF HIS TITLE

AND BANNED FROM THE WCW FOR LIFE?

SURE.

AND DON'T YOU THINK IT'S JUST A LITTLE STRANGE

THAT WE JUST HAPPEN TO CRASH THE TRUCK

ON THE WAY HOME?

IT'S A LITTLE STRANGE, BUT WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO?

EXACTLY.

WHAT?

WHAT WOULD KING DO?

I DON'T KNOW, GORDIE. WHAT WOULD HE DO?

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT HE'D DO.

HE'D FIGHT TO MAKE IT RIGHT.

WELL, THEN, YOU JUST LET ME KNOW

WHEN HE SHOWS UP AND DOES THAT, OK?

LISTEN, THERE'S A BIG PART OF JIMMY KING INSIDE OF ME,

AND HE'S TELLING ME WE GOT ONE CHOICE.

WE GOT TO FIND JIMMY KING.

NOW, THIS MUST HAVE HAPPENED FOR A REASON.

IT'S GOT TO BE SOME KIND OF TEST.

WE GOT TO FIND THE KING.

WE GOT TO FIND THE KING?

YEAH.

YOU AND ME?

THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON, MAN.

WE GOT TO FIND THE KING.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

HOW FAR IS ATLANTA FROM HERE?

WHOO!

SIR, IT'S COLD.

[HORN HONKS]

JERK!

AH, YEAH.

THANK GOD.

HEY.

WE'RE TRYING TO GET TO ATLANTA.

OH, WELL, WE'RE HEADED TO DAYTONA.

ATLANTA'S ON OUR WAY.

COME ON IN, BOYS.

HALLELUJAH.

KUMBAYA, MY LORD

KUMBAYA

KUMBAYA, MY LORD

KUMBAYA

MICHAEL, ROW YOUR BOAT ASHORE

ALLELUIA

MICHAEL, ROW YOUR BOAT ASHORE

ALLELUIA

HEY, DO YOU GUYS KNOW ANY VAN HALEN?

NO.

NO.

NO.

NO.

[GUITAR PLAYING]

Gordie and Shawn: ♪ RUNNING WITH THE DEVIL

Nuns: ♪ RUNNING WITH THE DEVIL

BREAK IT DOWN, MAMA.

I LIVE MY LIFE LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW

ALL I'VE GOT I HAD TO STEAL

SHE STOLE IT.

AT LEAST I DON'T NEED TO BEG OR BORROW

YES, I'M LIVING AT A PACE THAT KILLS

RUNNING WITH THE DEVIL

RUNNING WITH THE DEVIL

OH, YEAH

Van Halen: ♪ RUNNING WITH THE DEVIL

David Lee Roth: ♪ AAH HA, YEAH

WHOO

Gordie: THANK YOU.

Sean: SEE YOU GUYS.

LATER. YOU CHICKS ROCK!

OK, BRO, LISTEN TO ME.

I KNOW WE JUST GOT ALL THIS RELIGION,

BUT I GOT A SERIOUS QUESTION I HAVE TO ASK YOU,

AND I NEED A SERIOUS ANSWER.

HOW MANY TIMES DID YOU FART IN THAT VAN?

IT WASN'T ME, MAN. SWEAR TO GOD.

ME, NEITHER. SWEAR TO GOD.

OH, MY GOD.

THEY WERE THE FARTING NUNS.

EW.

EW.

Electronic voice: BRING IT ON!

LET'S DO THIS.

[LAUGHING]

[CHEERING]

Electronic voice: I WILL RULE YOU!

[CHEERING]

I'M GONNA BE A WHILE.

ME AND JIMMY KING DON'T LOSE.

YOU'RE DOWN WITH KING, HUH?

BIG JIMMY KING FAN?

YEAH.

YEAH. KING IS KING.

BULLSHIT WHAT HAPPENED.

MAKES ME WANT TO PUKE,

BUT MY DAD SAYS PUKING'S FOR PUSSIES.

I PUKE ALL THE TIME, AND I'M NOT A PUSSY.

LISTEN, ME AND MY ASSOCIATE,

WE'RE ON A QUEST TO FIND KING.

DO YOU KNOW WHERE HIS MANSION IS?

UH, I HEARD HE LIVES IN A CASTLE.

I NEVER SEEN IT, THOUGH.

I COULD PROBABLY FIND IT.

YOU CAN FIND JIMMY KING?

I CAN FIND ANYONE ON THE NET.

I'LL SEARCH THE WEB FOR ANY INFO

ON THE KING'S WHEREABOUTS.

GOOD. SMART ONE.

YOU'RE THE KING! YOU'RE THE KING!

OH, YEAH? I WILL RULE YOU!

DUDE. DUDE, MY DAD'LL HEAR YOU.

SORRY, MAN. I'LL KEEP IT DOWN.

THANKS.

GIVE IT TO YOU 2 TIMES!

2--

SORRY.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

I FOUND A SITE.

"KING, JIMMY.

WIFE, EUGENIA."

HEY, AND YOU'RE IN LUCK.

HERE'S THE ADDRESS.

WOW.

SIR ISAAC, YOU'VE SERVED YOUR KING WELL.

MY LONELINESS IS KILLING ME

I MUST CONFESS I STILL BELIEVE

I STILL BELIEVE

[SINGING INDISTINCTLY]

GIVE ME A SIGN

HIT ME, BABY, ONE MORE TIME

IT'S NOT EXACTLY A CASTLE.

[KNOCKS ON DOOR]

[CLATTER, CAT SCREECHES]

Gordie: HEY. EUGENIA KING?

UH-HUH.

JIMMY KING'S WIFE?

YEAH.

THE QUEEN.

FRONT AND PRESENT.

UH, WE'RE LOOKING FOR THE KING.

IS HE HOME?

WHAT ARE YOU, HIGH?

HE HASN'T BEEN HOME IN 2 YEARS.

ALL I GOT TO REMEMBER HIM BY IS AN ITCHY CROTCH.

YOU EVER SEEN CRABS UP CLOSE?

YOU WANNA SEE?

FANTASTIC.

WAIT, NO.

AHEM, I GOT THIS.

UM, MA'AM, UH...

COULD YOU TELL ME MAYBE WHO HIS ASSOCIATES ARE?

YEAH. THEY'RE ALL SCUMBAGS.

YOU COULD TRY LOUISE.

...BAGS. AND LOUISE IS?

A WHORE. SHE'S A WHORE.

GOOD. WHORES.

SCUMBAGS AND WHORES.

GREAT. THANK YOU.

YOU'VE BEEN A LOT OF HELP.

IF YOU FIND HIM, TELL HIM HE OWES ME CHILD SUPPORT,

ALIMONY, AND MASSIVE DENTAL BILLS.

TELL HIM I HOPE HIS DIDDLY TURNS BLACK

AND FALLS IN THE CRAPPER.

WHOA, WHOA.

Sean: IT'S THE PRINCE.

YOU GUYS LOOKING FOR MY DAD?

YEAH. WE'RE ON A QUEST, MAN. PRINCE JIMMY!

I'M FRANKIE.

ARE YOU GUYS BOUNTY HUNTERS?

'CAUSE, UH, I'LL HELP YOU FIND HIM

IF YOU SPLIT THE REWARD WITH ME.

DO YOU KNOW WHERE WE CAN FIND HIM?

HELL, NO!

I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM FOR 6 MONTHS.

MY MAMA SAYS HE'S GOT TO PAY FOR MY BRACES.

OTHERWISE, THEY'RE GONNA REPOSSESS THEM. HA HA.

NICE.

YEAH.

MY RESEARCH CONFIRMS HE HAS AT LEAST 3 KIDS.

2 ILLEGITIMATE, 2 WIVES,

AND HAS FILED FOR BANKRUPTCY 3 TIMES.

THIS DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.

JIMMY KING WOULDN'T DO THAT KIND OF STUFF.

IT'S A CONSPIRACY. ALL RIGHT?

SLEAZY SINCLAIR,

HE SET UP KING TO MAKE HIM LOSE FACE

IN FRONT OF HIS OWN FAMILY.

OH, AND I FOUND HIS PARENTS.

MAYBE THEY CAN HELP.

KID'S WASTED HIS ENTIRE LIFE.

WRESTLING.

HE COULD HAVE BEEN A DOCTOR.

WELL, AN AMBULANCE DRIVER, AT LEAST.

JIMMY WAS NEVER VERY BRIGHT.

LEFT SCHOOL IN THE 10th GRADE.

I BEG TO DIFFER.

ACCORDING TO HIS AUTHORIZED BIOGRAPHY,

JIMMY KING WORKED VERY HARD IN HIGH SCHOOL,

AND AFTER YOU DIED IN A PLANE CRASH,

HE WENT TO COMMUNITY COLLEGE,

AND HE SUPPORTED YOU WHILE HE HELD 2 JOBS.

I OUGHT TO KICK YOUR ASS, FREAK!

WE SAW HIM LAST WEEK.

HE CAME AND BORROWED OUR MOTOR HOME.

WE HAVEN'T SEEN HIM SINCE.

THE BIG SHIT.

Isaac: YES. JIMMY KING RECEIVED A SPEEDING TICKET

DRIVING A MOTOR HOME.

HE GAVE THEM AN ADDRESS-- ST. FRANCIS MOTOR COURT,

SPACE 14.

GET OFF THE PHONE, YOU PUSSY!

I GOTTA GO. MY DAD SAYS YAKKING ON THE PHONE IS FOR PUSSIES.

OH, MY GOD, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

THAT'S NOT THE KING.

THAT'S JUST SOME WEIRD LADY.

OH, MY GOD.

THAT'S HER.

WHAT?

I MEAN, THAT'S HIM. THAT'S--THAT'S THE KING.

ARE YOU TELLING ME THE KING'S A QUEEN?

NO.

LOOK, THERE'S GOTTA BE AN EXPLANATION.

ALL RIGHT? THERE HAS TO BE. BUT WE CAME ALL THIS WAY.

HE NEEDS US.

YEAH. IT'S ANOTHER PLOT. A RUSE.

KING! JIMMY KING!

[POUNDING]

YEAH, BABY.

JIMMY KING!

King: UH...WHAT?

WHO'S THERE?

[FALSETTO] WHO'S THERE?

Gordie: IT'S US.

[FALSETTO] OH, YOU MUST BE THE NICE BOYS

FROM THE PHARMACY.

JUST LEAVE MY HUSBAND'S MEDICINE ON THE TOP STEP.

I'LL TIP YOU NEXT TIME--

NO, NO, NO. NO PHARMACY.

NO. WE'RE YOU'RE MOST LOYAL SURGEONS.

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?

IT'S US, MAN!

WHY ARE YOU DRESSED LIKE A CHICK?

JUST GIVE ME THE STUFF, OR I'LL CROWN YA!

IT'S HIM!

IT'S HIM!

[BOTH LAUGHING]

JIMMY KING!

WE'RE YOUR BIGGEST FANS.

YOU'RE FANS?

YEAH.

I OUGHTA BREAK YOUR GEEKY NECKS.

OW!

HEY, WE'RE ON A QUEST TO RESTORE YOUR THRONE.

WE BELIEVE IN YOU, JIMMY KING!

PISS OFF!

THERE'S HOPE. THERE'S HOPE.

YOU SEE? HE'S GOT SOME FIGHT LEFT IN HIM.

COULD WE COME IN, MR. KING, FOR 5 MINUTES?

5 MINUTES IS ALL WE ASK OF THE KING.

PLEASE?!

HOW MUCH MONEY YOU GOT?

$30.

SHOW IT TO ME.

PERSONAL APPEARANCE FEE.

$30, 5 MINUTES.

ENTER!

YOU WERE RIGHT.

I TOLD YOU.

THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON.

IT'S A CONSPIRACY.

WE KNOW THIS ISN'T YOU.

YOU'RE OUR KING.

THIS IS JUST A DISGUISE.

I'M HIDING OUT FROM A COUPLE OF PEOPLE.

WE UNDERSTAND. YOU'RE HIDING OUT FROM SINCLAIR.

I AIN'T SCARED OF THAT CIRCUS FREAK.

YOU UNDERSTAND ME?

I MADE THAT DAMN LEAGUE, AND HE KNOWS IT.

I PUT THE DAMN BUTTS IN THE DAMN SEATS.

HE'S DONE EXPLOITING ME,

SO HE PLOTS A MASSA-CREE WITH HIS PACK OF SISSIES

AND KICKS ME OUT FOR GOOD. THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED.

THAT IS SO UNJUST.

IT SUCKS.

NOT LIKE THE REST OF MY LIFE

BEEN A BOWL OF CHERRIES, EITHER.

BUT I JUST TRY AND...

PLAY THE CARDS THAT'S DEALT ME.

KEEP MY CHIN UP.

EVEN THOUGH MY WIFE JUST LEFT ME,

AND MY LITTLE BOY'S CONFINED TO A WHEELCHAIR, AND...

AND MY MOMMY AND DADDY JUST PASSED.

WE MET YOUR WIFE.

AND SHE SAYS THAT YOU LEFT HER.

NOT HOW I REMEMBER IT.

AND YOUR SON'S NOT IN A WHEELCHAIR.

[GASPS]

YOUR PARENTS AREN'T DEAD ANYMORE, EITHER.

GOOD LORD!

I AM BLESSED!

PRAISE HIM, IN ALL HIS MERCY!

PISS OFF! 5 MINUTES ARE UP.

GET OUT.

WAIT.

I SAID GET OUT!

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

CAN WE DO SOMETHING FOR YOU?

WE CAN GO ON A BEER RUN, RIGHT?

WE CAN GO ON A BEER RUN FOR YOU.

BEER IS GOOD. BEER.

GET ME 2 SIXES.

YOU TRY AND SKIP OUT WITH MY MONEY,

I'M GONNA FIND YOU...

"I WILL FIND YOU..."

"I WILL FIND YOU, AND..."

"I WILL RULE YOU!"

YEAH!

GIVE US ONE.

GIVE US A "RULE YOU," PLEASE?

COME ON!

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. GIVE US A "BEGONE."

[LAUGHING] YEAH, PLEASE!

HOW ABOUT THIS?

GO GET MY DAMN BEER, YOU FRIGGIN' MORONS!

HOW ARE WE GONNA GET BACK TO LUSK?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

[SIGHS]

KNOCK, KNOCK.

WHO'S THERE?

DRUNK JIMMY KING IN A DRESS, OK?

WE'RE OUT OF HERE.

WAIT. NO, NO, SEAN. WE CAN'T.

HE NEEDS US NOW MORE THAN EVER.

MY HOPE IS THAT YOU 2 NICE GENTLEMEN

HAVE FIGURED OUT THAT I AIN'T THE FELLA YOU CAME TO SEE.

IT'S BEEN A PLEASURE SETTIN' WITH YOUSE.

THANK YOU FOR GETTING ME 2 BOXES OF BEER.

SHUT THE DOOR ON YOUR WAY OUT.

I KNOW, UH, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.

YOU--YOU NEED TO GET BACK INTO THE RING.

NEVER HAPPEN.

SINCLAIR CREATED AND OWNS MY WHOLE CHARACTER.

IT'S OVER. CHEERS.

SINCLAIR? SO WHAT? YOU'RE THE KING.

YOU CAN BEAT ANYONE.

OOH.

BEAT ANYONE?

YEAH.

Y'ALL KNOW IT'S JUST A SHOW, RIGHT?

BEST SHOW IN THE WORLD.

IT'S LIKE DANCING, YOU KNOW?

IT'S A CIRCUS SHOW WITH DANCING.

RIGHT.

DANCING CLOWNS.

WE GOT YOU.

HONK HONK.

A LITTLE SOAP OPERA THROWN IN.

AND THIS CLOWN JUST GOT FIRED.

THAT'S ALL IT IS. NO MORE WRESTLING, FELLAS.

TCH. RIGHT.

LISTEN TO ME, YOU PAIR OF DUMBSHITS.

I AIN'T NO KING. THERE NEVER WAS NO KING.

THE KING IS A FAKE CREATION, OK?

I AIN'T EVEN A HAS-BEEN. I'M A NEVER-WAS.

YOU GOT IT? STUPID?

NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!

I'M DONE WITH YOU. GET OUT!

COME ON.

GIT.

GET OUT

KNOW WHAT I DON'T GET?

HOW CAN YOU BE PHONY IF WE BELIEVE IN YOU?

WE NEED YOU, KING.

YOUR FANS NEED YOU.

WE NEED YOU TO RISE ABOVE THIS

AND TAKE SINCLAIR DOWN.

I HAVE TO SAY I WOULDN'T MIND

TAKIN' A NICE SWING AT THAT LITTLE TURDBUMP.

THAT'S WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.

WE'LL GET YOU AS MANY SWINGS AS YOU WANT.

YEAH, BUT I'M A LITTLE BANGED UP, YOU KNOW?

I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW.

Gordie: OH, PLEASE!

YOU FOUGHT WITH A BROKEN BACK BEFORE.

YOU WERE PARALYZED, AND YOU HOPPED OUT OF THAT WHEELCHAIR

AND WHUPPED CANYON IN MEMPHIS!

STING BROKE 6 BONES IN YOUR NECK WITH A BAT,

AND WHAT'D YOU DO?

IN 2 WEEKS YOU CAME BACK AND YOU RULED ASS!

COME ON!

COME ON, MAN. THIS IS NOTHIN'!

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?!

WHOA! UHH!

COME ON! THIS IS NOTHIN'!

YOU GOT TO LET GO!

SHOW US SOME OF THAT OLD KING!

LET GO, OR...

OR WHAT?

OR WHAT?!

OR I WILL RULE YOU!

AAH!

AH HA HA--UHH!

AAH!

CROWN US. CROWN US, COME ON.

CROWN US!

PLEASE CROWN US!

YEAH!

Gordie: AW, THAT WAS GREAT, MAN!

YOU HAPPY NOW?

[ROOSTER CROWS]

WAKEY WAKEY, HANDS OFF SNAKY.

GUESS WHAT?

WHAT?

TAKIN' YOU UP ON YOUR OFFER

TO GET ONE GOOD SWING AT TITUS SINCLAIR.

YOU'RE GONNA POUND SINCLAIR?

MM-HMM.

OH, YEAH. I'M DRIVING FIRST LEG.

IT'S NO SURPRISE TO ME

I AM MY OWN WORST ENEMY

♪ 'CAUSE EVERY NOW AND THEN

I KICK THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME

CAN WE FORGET ABOUT THE THINGS I SAID

WHEN I WAS DRUNK? ♪

I DIDN'T MEAN TO CALL YOU THAT

Okerlund: ALSO HERE TONIGHT IN A HARD-CORE MATCH,

SID VICIOUS IS GONNA BE LOCKING UP WITH STING.

PLUS, IN HIS VERY FIRST TITLE DEFENSE,

DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE

FACES NONE OTHER THAN THE DISCO INFERNO.

SHOULD BE INTERESTING.

OUT OF THE WAY!

Sean: EXCUSE US.

SMELLS LIKE POOP IN HERE.

KEEP IT DOWN, KING. WE'RE ALMOST IN POSITION.

WHEN WE HAVE ACCESS TO SINCLAIR,

GORDIE WILL GIVE YOU THE SPECIAL CALL. DO IT.

WHOO!

AY-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI!

SHH! SHH!

AY!

WHEN YOU HEAR THAT, YOU'LL JUMP OUT,

AND WE'LL HAVE OUR MEETING WITH THE MAN.

JUST SIT TIGHT, KING.

WE'LL HAVE YOU BACK ON THAT THRONE IN NO TIME.

COME ON.

[WOMEN CHATTERING]

Woman: WHAT IS THIS THING?

Woman: HERE, GIRL. HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE.

OH, MY GOODNESS.

LOOK AT--

NAKED THINGS.

[WOLF WHISTLE]

OH, THE NAKED, NAKED THINGS.

OW, SHE'S A BRICK HOUSE

ALL THE NAKED THINGS.

NAKED. NAKED.

SHE'S MIGHTY MIGHTY, JUST LETTIN' IT ALL HANG OUT

EXTRA-NAKED.

SHE'S A BRICK HOUSE

OOH.

THE LADY'S STACKED, AND THAT'S A FACT

EXCUSE ME, BOYS.

[NEEDLE SCRATCHES]

CAN I HELP YOU WITH ANYTHING?

UH, NO.

WE WERE JUST CHECKING OUT YOUR BREASTS.

WE'RE CHECKING OUT THE PIPES THAT GO THROUGH THE WALLS.

SEE, THEY'RE ROUND AND LARGE.

WELL, THANKS.

THAT WAS SASHA.

PERHAPS THE NITROEST NITRO GIRL OF THEM ALL.

[SIGHS] COME ON.

MR. PAGE.

GOT 60 SECONDS.

I WANT TO START TIGHT ON THE BELT,

AND THEN REVEAL US PULLIN' BACK, ALL RIGHT?

IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU PUT THE STRAP ON ME, TITUS.

ANYBODY'S BETTER THAN JIMMY KING, EVEN YOU.

SICK OF THAT GUY.

UNGRATEFUL TUB OF LARD, THAT'S WHAT HE WAS.

I KNOW THAT. YOU KNOW THAT.

I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT ALL THESE KIDS DIG ABOUT HIM.

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT THESE KIDS.

THEY'RE MORONS.

THEY LOVE WHO I TELL THEM TO LOVE.

HEY, I'M JIMMY KING.

I WILL RULE YOU!

I WILL REIGN SUPREME!

AS SOON AS I FINISH THESE HERE BEERS.

[LAUGHTER]

FUNNY?

WELL, LET'S ROLL NOW. WE'LL DO IT.

5, 4, 3, 2...

SO...PAGE,

WHAT DO YOU REALLY FEEL ABOUT JIMMY KING?

YO, SNAPPERHEAD, UP HERE.

JIMMY KING, HE DOESN'T KNOW A WRISTLOCK FROM A WRISTWATCH.

AND AS FAR AS BEING IN SHAPE IS CONCERNED,

THAT BOY WAS SO OUT OF SHAPE,

WHEN I WAS IN THE RING WITH HIM,

IT WAS LIKE FIGHTING A HARPOONED WHALE.

OH, THAT'S SWEET, MAN. WHAT A BUM.

JIMMY KING IS NOT A--

I AIN'T NO DAMN BUM!

[CHEERING]

KING'S NOT IN THE SCRIPT!

FOREIGN OBJECT!

FATTY JUST MADE YOU HIS SHITHOUSE BITCH!

OH, YEAH!

WHO ARE YOU GUYS?!

Gordie: WE'RE FANS!

JIMMY KING'S, ASSHOLE!

GET 'EM OFF OF ME!

KING!

[LAUGHTER]

IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?!

[AIR HORN BLOWS]

[CHEERING]

DO YOUR JOB! DO YOUR JOB!

YOU WENT DOWN!

1, 2, 3!

WHOO!

THE WINNER BY PINFALL, JIMMY KING!

Okerlund: IT WOULD APPEAR WE HAVE A NEW WORLD CHAMPION.

HEY, JIMMY KING RULES, BABY!

[SEAN AND GORDIE SHOUTING]

NO! NO!

THAT WAS UNSANCTIONED,

AND PER THE BYLAWS OF THE WCW,

THAT BELT CANNOT BE PASSED.

YOU GIVE ME WHAT'S MINE, YOU SLIMY-ASSED FREAK!

YOU CAN'T WIN BY AMBUSHING YOUR OPPONENT.

HEY, ANY MATCH, ANY TIME, BABY!

YOU HEARD HIM, SINCLAIR! ANY MATCH, ANY TIME!

YOU WANT A MATCH, YOU GOT ONE MATCH.

Gordie: ONE MATCH, YOU NAME IT!

THE STEEL CAGE.

STEEL CAGE?! DONE! WHEN?

HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE TO WIN.

WELL, HE'S NOT GONNA WIN. NO, HE'S GONNA WIN.

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SURVIVE.

YOU SURVIVE, AND YOU GET THIS BELT.

YEAH?

PLUS ONE MILLION DOLLARS!

BUT IF HE LOSES, YOU FORFEIT YOUR CROWN

AND NEVER BE ABLE TO WRESTLE AGAIN.

IT'S A DEAL!

YOU GOT A MATCH, BABY!

HOLD ON, BABY. HOLD THE DAMN PHONE.

Sinclair: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU HEARD IT HERE.

A NEW FIRST.

4 WEEKS FROM TONIGHT, MGM GRAND, PAY-PER-VIEW.

BE THERE!

WE'RE GONNA REIGN SUPREME!

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

THAT'S GOOD! SAVE IT! SAVE IT!

SAVE IT!

TONIGHT, WE REJOICE. WE REJOICE!

WITH THE KING IN HIS MOTOR CASTLE!

PARTY!

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

SASHA. OH, MY GOD.

UH...

I'M GORDIE.

I SAW YOU IN THAT BRAWL TONIGHT.

PRETTY AWESOME.

GOT A BEER?

UH...

DICK!

THANKS.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I GOT YOUR POSTER UP IN MY ROOM.

REALLY?

WHICH ONE?

IS IT...

THIS ONE? OR WAIT...

THAT ONE?

NO, NO, NO, IT'S THIS ONE.

[LAUGHS]

THAT'S MY FAVORITE.

ME, TOO.

YOU'RE REALLY SWEET...

AND...

MASCULINE.

I REALLY LIKE HOW YOU STOOD UP TO THAT CREEP SINCLAIR TONIGHT.

YEAH, WELL, WE DID IT FOR THAT GUY RIGHT THERE.

ISN'T HE THE BEST?

HE'S THE BEST. HE IS. THERE'S NO BETTER.

YOU KNOW, GROWING UP IN CODY, WYOMING,

I LIVED TO WATCH JIMMY KING FIGHT.

YOU'RE FROM CODY? NO WAY. I'M FROM LUSK!

REALLY?

OH, MY GOD.

HA HA.

YOU WANNA DANCE?

JUNGLE BOOGIE

JUNGLE BOOGIE

JUNGLE BOOGIE

JUNGLE BOOGIE

JUNGLE BOOGIE

JUNGLE BOOGIE

THANK YOU.

WHOO!

YEAH!

GET DOWN, GET DOWN

GET DOWN, GET DOWN

DO PEOPLE THINK I'M SEXY?

I THINK YOU'RE SEXY.

MEAN GENE, REALLY, I DO.

GET DOWN, SAY HUUH

TILL YOU FEEL IT, Y'ALL

BUT RIGHT NOW,

I'M GONNA TRAIN FOR THIS FREAKIN' DEATH MATCH, BABY.

A LITTLE PURE PROTEIN...

SEND ME ON MY WAY.

UHH, COME ON

UHH, GET DOWN

GET DOWN

UHH.

UHH-UHH-UHH-UHH UHH-UHH-OHH

DAMN.

NO GODDAMN WAY, BABY!

JUNGLE BOOGIE

GET THE BOOGIE

JUNGLE BOOGIE

UHHUHHUHH

HELP!

JUNGLE BOOGIE

AND GET THE BOOGIE

Sean: UNBELIEVABLE.

OH, MY GOD.

HOW DID YOU BOYS KNOW WHERE TO FIND HIM?

WE'RE IN THE BUSINESS.

OH. FOUND HIM IN DRAINAGE TUNNEL 14.

HE DIDN'T WANNA LEAVE.

WE'LL TAKE CARE OF HIM FROM HERE. THANK YOU.

GOOD LUCK.

DO YOUR MAGIC.

[INSECT BUZZING]

YOU CANNOT RUN AWAY.

YOU GOT A MAJOR FIGHT. YOU GOT MAJOR RESPONSIBILITIES.

LOOK, I GOT NEWS FOR YOU.

I SUCKER-PUNCHED PAGE LAST NIGHT.

IT'LL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. IT WAS A FLUKE!

HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?

WE GOT YOU THIS FAR, DIDN'T WE? HUH?

NOW, WE GOT A FRIEND THAT'S GONNA GET YOU A TRAINER.

TRAINER?!

I DON'T NEED A TRAINER.

I NEED A SAFE HOUSE, BABY,

OR A NEW IDENTITY FROM THE FBI

OR, LIKE, A FAST CAR-- THAT'S WHAT I NEED!

JIMMY KING IS NOT SCARED.

JIMMY KING DOES NOT BACK DOWN.

DON'T YOU GET IT?

SINCLAIR WANTS TO KILL ME,

END MY LIFE.

SO I'M DEAD AND BURIED IN THE GROUND

AND LITTLE, TINY BUGS FEASTIN' ON MY ASS.

THAT'S WHAT HE WANTS.

NO BUGS ARE GONNA FEAST ON YOUR ASS.

YOU'RE GONNA WIN THAT MILLION BUCKS

AND GET YOUR BELT BACK,

BECAUSE THAT'S OUR MISSION.

I'M SCARED, BABY, I'M SCARED.

WE CAN HELP.

SEAN, SING THE SONG.

THE SONG? NO, I DON'T WANNA SING THE SONG.

SING THE SONG FOR MR. KING!

COME ON.

JIMMY KING IS THE BEST WRESTLER

HE'S THE BEST-LER

BETTER THAN ALL THE REST-LER

HE'S GOT CLASS

HE'S REALLY FAST

HE'LL RULE ASS

HE'LL RULE THAT ASS

JIMMY...JIMMY... ♪

LA DA DA

THE KING... ♪

WE'RE STILL KIND OF WORKING ON THAT END PART.

King: WHERE THE HELL YOU TAKING ME?

Sean: IT'S A SURPRISE. DON'T WORRY.

[MAN SCREAMS]

HELLO?

[MAN SCREAMS]

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT, BABY?

COME ON.

[MAN SCREAMING]

[MAN SCREAMING, POUNDING]

[OBJECT SHATTERS]

I GOT 3 WORDS FOR YOU, BABY--NINE-ONE-ONE.

[BUZZ]

Man: STAY.

SAL BANDINI.

WANNA WRESTLE? HA HA HA!

SAL BANDINI?

SIR, IT IS A REAL HONOR.

YI!

UHH! UHH!

TAP OUT, SON.

SO, THIS IS THE FELLA YOU CALLED ABOUT?

YEAH.

I SEEN YOU.

YOU'RE BIG, YOU'RE TOUGH,

BUT YOU DON'T KNOW DIDDLY SHIT ABOUT REAL WRESTLING.

ALWAYS WORRIED, WHAT, ABOUT TV TIME

AND ENDORSEMENTS, RIGHT?

WELL--

STIFLE.

YOU TALK TOO MUCH.

MR. BANDINI, HE'S READY TO LISTEN AND LEARN.

GOOD. I'M JUST FINISHING UP

WITH THE LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL WRESTLING TEAM.

ALL RIGHT, WHACKERS,

GO HOME.

YOU DID REAL GOOD TODAY,

BUT REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD YOU--

APPLY PRESSURE

UNTIL YOU HEAR CARTILAGE SNAP

OR THEY CRAP IN THEIR PANTS.

COME ON, WUSS. MOVE IT.

AND, YOU, WORK ON THAT FOR TOMORROW.

GENTLEMEN...

STEP INTO MY OFFICE.

Sean: LET'S GO, JIMMY. JUST TAKE IT EASY NOW.

Sal: COME ON, JIMMY.

SHOW ME ONE OF YOUR FANCY MOVES, HUH?

YES! OOH!

AAH!

COME ON, KING.

HEY!

THAT'S NOT GOOD.

COME ON, JIMMY. IT'S EMBARRASSING.

OH!

TAP OUT, PUNK.

I SEEN YOU FAVOR THAT LEG.

LESSON ONE--

NEVER REVEAL YOUR WEAKNESSES.

BITE ME, OLD MAN.

GREAT SPIRIT.

WRONG OLD MAN TO BE MESSING WITH.

TAP OUT.

OH!

YOU--YOU KICKED HIM IN THE FACE, KING.

THAT CRAZY OLD BASTARD WAS GOING TO KILL ME.

Gordie: I THINK YOU KILLED HIM.

WHAT?

HOW HARD DID YOU HIT HIM, KING?

HE'S AN OLD MAN.

I GAVE HIM A LITTLE FLICK.

NO. YOU KICKED HIM IN THE FACE.

GEE. SAL?

SAL, YOU ALL RIGHT?

YOU ALL RIGHT--

AHH!

YEOW! HUHH!

OHH...

YOU KNOW, KICKING ME WAS RIGHT.

SEEING IF I WAS OK IS WRONG.

LESSON ONE--

A POSSUM AIN'T DEAD TILL IT'S SCRAPED OFF THE ROAD.

HA HA HA HA!

TREACHERY. IT'S TREACHERY.

DID YOU HAVE TO SQUASH THE POSSUM'S NUTS?

STIFLE.

UHH!

[DOORBELL RINGS]

HI.

[HOW DEEP IS YOUR LOVE PLAYING]

BUENOS NACHOS, SEÑORITA.

GORDIE, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU SPOKE SPANISH.

YEAH. I TOOK IT IN HIGH SCHOOL...

A BUNCH OF TIMES.

ARE YOU FLUENT?

NO.

I FEEL FINE.

I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU.

THANKS.

YEAH. THE FLOWER GUY WAS CLOSED,

SO I PICKED THOSE UP FOR YOU.

GREAT.

COME ON IN.

WOW. CANDLES AND FOOD AND EVERYTHING.

YEAH. I FIGURED, WHY GO OUT?

WE CAN STAY IN.

♪ 'CAUSE WE'RE LIVIN' IN A WORLD OF FOOLS

WHOO!

SO, HOW'S TRAINING GOING?

PRETTY GOOD.

I GOT HIM A COACH, AND HE'S STARTING TO LISTEN,

SO THINGS ARE LOOKING UP.

A COACH? REALLY?

DO I KNOW HIM?

SAL BANDINI. YOU HEARD OF HIM?

NO.

NO, I DON'T THINK I KNOW HIM.

HE'S OLD SCHOOL.

MM-HMM.

YEAH. HE'S A REAL PRO.

I KIND OF BEEN TRAINING ALONGSIDE OF HIM,

SO I'M PICKING UP SOME REALLY...

REALLY AWESOME MOVES.

AWESOME MOVES, HUH?

I'D LOVE YOU TO SHOW ME YOUR AWESOME MOVES.

[SLURPS]

AH.

OK.

SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT, BIG BOY.

OH, I GOT SOME MOVES FOR YOU.

ARE YOU SURE?

I'M SURE.

WAAH!

UHH!

AAH!

UHH.

THAT WAS A SNAPMARE.

AHH.

TAKE ME TO THE BEDROOM.

I MEANT, WHY DON'T WE WRESTLE IN HERE?

BEDROOM MATCH?

I'D LOVE TO WRESTLE YOU IN HERE.

YEAH?

YEAH.

GIVE IT TO ME, BIG BOY.

WHOA!

YEAH.

GRR!

[GROWLS]

GRR!

WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!

I WILL NOW UNVEIL MY...

SECRET WEAPONS.

FOREIGN OBJECTS!

[GRUNTING, BLOWS LANDING]

OH, GOD!

OHH!

"DEAR DAD: I AM FINE.

SEAN AND I ARE HELPING JIMMY KING

RECLAIM HIS LOST GLORY.

KING'S A GOOD MAN WHO JUST SEEMS TO HAVE LOST HIS WAY.

ALSO, DAD, I MET THIS REALLY, REALLY SWEET GIRL.

AND I'M NOT A VIRGIN ANYMORE.

SORRY ABOUT MISSING THE STATE TROOPER'S EXAM.

I'M SURE THERE'S ANOTHER ONE COMING UP

THAT YOU CAN FORCE ME TO TAKE."

"RESPECTFULLY, GORDON."

SWEETIE, I DON'T THINK

KING NEEDS ANY OTHER WRESTLERS.

YEAH?

YEAH.

I THINK IT'S A BAD IDEA.

YOU THINK SO, BOOPIE?

YEAH.

THEN MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T DO IT.

BOOPIE THINKS IT'S A BAD IDEA.

MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T GO THROUGH WITH IT.

I THINK THAT BOOPIE SHOULD KEEP HER MOUTH SHUT, OK?

AND I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD TALK TO BOOPIE LIKE THAT.

King: GUYS, I'M TELLING YOU.

I HAVE A TERRIBLE VIBE ABOUT THIS WHOLE THING.

REALLY, I DO. NO, I DO.

LISTEN, ALL RIGHT?

YOU NEED A POSSE OF GUYS WHO ARE GOING TO SUPPORT YOU.

THERE HE IS. COME ON.

OH, HEY, BIG BILL GOLDBERG.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, BABY?

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE IN TOWN.

YOU'RE LOOKING JACK. YOU'RE LOOKING GOOD.

WHAT'S GOING ON? WHY ARE YOU HERE?

WHAT'S--WHAT'S HAPPENING?

I'M DOING LETTERMAN.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

PREPARING FOR YOUR EXECUTION?

[LAUGHS]

YOU DON'T THINK I HAVE A CHANCE?

GET REAL, JIMMY.

SINCLAIR'S EXTREMELY PISSED OFF,

AND HE'S GOING TO MAKE AN EXAMPLE OUT OF YOU.

FACE IT--YOU'RE A SECOND-RATE WRESTLER

AND A THIRD-RATE MAN.

YOU'RE STILL SORE

ABOUT THAT SPOT I BLEW IN AKRON, AREN'T YOU?

YOU WERE DRUNK.

AW, BILL, I'M SORRY, BABY.

I WAS HAVING TERRIBLE BACK SPASMS THAT DAY.

YOU PUKED ON ME.

THE AUDIENCE LIKED IT.

I WAS YOUR PARTNER.

HEY...

I MADE YOU.

IF IT WASN'T FOR ME, YOU'D BE NOTHING.

YEAH?

OHH!

Sean: WOW.

MR. GOLDBERG, THAT WAS A NICE THROW.

HOW YOU DOING?

WE REPRESENT MR. KING

IN HIS UPCOMING PAY-PER-VIEW.

YOU ARE THE MACK.

YOU ARE IT, MAN.

COME ON. HIS MAJESTY NEEDS YOU IN THE CORNER.

LOOK, GUYS,

I USED TO LOOK UP TO JIMMY JUST LIKE YOU TWO,

BUT THE FACT IS,

HE LET ME DOWN.

I KNOW, I KNOW.

KING LOST HIS WAY,

BUT HE HAS SEEN THE LIGHT.

HE'S A CHANGED MAN.

THE CHANGE IS COMING.

WOULD YOU JUST--PLEASE? FOR A SECOND?

LOOK, WHATEVER'S HAPPENED IN THE PAST IS THE PAST,

BUT, ULTIMATELY, HE'S YOUR FRIEND.

RIGHT? AND YOU CAN'T TURN YOUR BACK ON A FRIEND.

RIGHT?

SORRY, GUYS.

THE FACT IS,

I WORK ALONE.

[SIGHS]

[KUNG FU PLAYING ON TELEVISION]

MASTER, AS I WALK THESE ROADS,

ARE THERE NONE I MAY CALL ON FOR HELP WHEN I NEED HELP?

NONE.

WOULD THIS NOT BE USEFUL?

TO THOSE WHO WOULD DESTROY US.

IN THE PAST,

WHEN WE HAVE RELIED...

THAT'S HIM.

Master: FEEL THE FLOWERS.

THOUGH ONE OR MORE BE UPROOTED,

THE OTHERS STILL LIVE.

SAL BANDINI. WANNA WRESTLE?

HA HA HA!

HUHH!

HUHH!

HA HA HA HA HA HA!

OH.

AAH!

WHO'S YOUR DADDY, BITCH?

WHO SENT YOU?

SINCLAIR.

HE WANTS YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM KING.

YOU TELL YOUR BOSS I'LL TRAIN WHOEVER I WANT.

AAH!

AAH!

HEH HEH HEH!

[SIREN]

I'M SO SORRY, GORDIE.

IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, SASHA.

POOR SAL.

AHEM.

MR. BANDINI IS A TOUGH OLD MAN,

BUT HE'LL HAVE TO STAY HERE FOR A WHILE.

HE'S GOT MULTIPLE INJURIES.

DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY QUESTIONS?

CAN WE SEE HIM?

SURE.

I'M GOING TO GET HIM A BUTTERFINGER.

I HAVE TO USE THE LITTLE GIRLS' ROOM.

CAN I HAVE A BUTTERFINGER TOO?

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

YEAH?

Sasha: IT'S OVER.

IT'S DONE.

NOW CAN I PLEASE GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE?

SASHA, BABY, TAKE IT EASY.

YOU DID GOOD.

TITUS, I'M WASTING MY TIME AT THE HOSPITAL.

THE POOR GUY SHOULD BE IN THE MORGUE

AFTER WHAT YOU GUYS DID.

HEH HEH HEH!

NOW, WHO DO YOU WUV?

I WUV YOU.

NOW, PLEASE, JUST GET ME OUT OF HERE.

BANDINI GUY'S LIKE 100 YEARS OLD, ANYWAY.

105.

BUT TELL THAT TO SATURN AND SID VICIOUS OVER HERE.

MORONS.

BUT YOU DID GREAT,

SO HOW DOES...

HEAD NITRO GIRL SOUND?

MY BALLS ARE IN MY THROAT,

MY PROSTATE IS THE SIZE OF A MELON,

AND I'M CRAPPING TAPIOCA.

I FEEL LIKE A KID AGAIN.

HA HA HA!

DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.

SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN.

LISTEN TO ME.

AND THIS IS THE FINAL LESSON.

ALWAYS ATTACK A MAN'S STRENGTHS.

UH, I THINK HE MEANS WEAKNESSES.

NO, I MEAN STRENGTHS.

NO ONE EVER EXPECTS YOU TO ATTACK

THE STRONGEST PART OF THE FORT.

UP THE MIDDLE--

THAT'S WHERE THE ACTION IS.

AND IT'S THE SAME IN LIFE.

LOOK, I KNOW YOU GOT DEMONS,

BUT DON'T RUN AWAY.

ATTACK THEM HEAD-ON

AS THEY'RE COMING TO YOU FULL SPEED,

BECAUSE THAT, MY FRIEND,

IS LIVING.

I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU, SAL.

HEY, MY FAVORITE.

HA HA! THANK YOU.

Gordie: CAN WE DO ANYTHING FOR YOU?

YEAH. GET OUT OF TOWN.

THIS PLACE IS NO GOOD FOR A WRESTLER.

GET BACK TO BASICS.

I KNOW A PLACE WE CAN DO THAT.

AW, MAN.

THIS TOWN TURNED MY HEAD AROUND.

I FORGOT OUR MISSION, WHAT WAS IMPORTANT.

KNOW WHAT?

I'M GOING TO DO WHAT IT TAKES FROM HERE ON OUT

TO GET THE JOB DONE.

YES, YOU ARE,

AND I AM, TOO.

WE'RE GOING TO GET YOU THAT BELT BACK.

MAN, I DON'T KNOW, BABY.

WHAT?

WHAT?

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?

WHAT DID SAL JUST SAY?

HUH? IT'S ABOUT WHAT'S IN HERE.

DUDE...

YOU JUST CRUSHED MY BUTTERFINGER, BABY.

BUTTERFINGER?

GET IN THE VAN NOW, OK?

Sasha: SORRY.

SORRY. I HAD TO MAKE A CALL.

HOW'S SAL?

HE'S GOING TO MAKE IT.

OH, GOOD.

THAT'S MORE THAN I CAN SAY FOR THE TWO OF US.

WHAT'S GOING ON, GORDIE?

WE'RE GOING BACK TO BASICS

TO FIND OUR HEART.

WELL, CAN I COME?

NO...

BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE ONE.

[SIREN]

AND I'M HEADED OUT WEST, SUCKER

BECAUSE I WANNA BE A COWBOY, BABY

RIDIN' AT NIGHT 'CAUSE I SLEEP ALL DAY

A COWBOY, BABY

I CAN SMELL A PIG FROM A MILE AWAY

I CAN'T BELIEVE I MET GOLDBERG.

THAT'S COOL, YOU KNOW?

HEY, LOOK, I KNOW YOU DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT YOUR FALLOUT...

YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. I DON'T.

LOOK, I JUST...

MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS, ALL RIGHT?

WHERE WE GOING, KING?

THERE'S SOMETHING I GOTTA DO.

[KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK]

HELLO, EUGENIA.

JIMMY KING.

OHH!

YOU ARE A BASTARD!

YAAAAH!

LET ME HELP YOU UP.

I GUESS I DESERVED THAT.

OH, I JUST HAD TO KICK YOU IN THE DIDDLY AGAIN.

OHH!

JESUS!

OH, THE HUMANITY. MAKE IT STOP.

HOW'S YOUR DIDDLY?

HOPE I BROKE IT.

IT'S DEFINITELY BRUISED.

WHAT THE HELL YOU THINKING, COMING BACK HERE?

I'M NOT EXACTLY SURE.

I THINK THAT THE KING IS READY TO BE A MAN.

WELL, HOW DOES IT FEEL?

LIKE RICHARD PETTY RAN A STOCK CAR INTO MY BALLS

GOING 400 MILES AN HOUR.

WELL, LOOK WHAT THE RAT PUKED UP.

OH, JESUS.

YOU MEAN "CAT," SON, DON'T YOU?

I AIN'T YOUR SON.

LOOK, FRANKIE...

I CAME TO SAY I WAS SORRY.

TOO LATE!

JESUS, LOOK AT THAT GRILLE!

I MEAN, NO, SON. HOW YOU DOING? IT'S GOOD TO SEE...

EUGENIA, EUGENIA, PLEASE.

I'M SORRY THAT I TOOK OFF ON YOU

WHEN I SHOULD'VE BEEN TAKING CARE OF YOU ALL THOSE YEARS.

REALLY. I'M REALLY SORRY.

YOU CAN FRY ICE IN HELL, YOU BASTARD!

WHAT'S THE GOOD IN COMING BACK HERE AND SAYING YOU'RE SORRY?

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?

WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

WELL, I'M GONNA GET THAT BELT BACK.

I'M GONNA WIN $1 MILLION.

I'M GONNA PAY OFF ALL MY DEBTS.

I'M GONNA DO THE RIGHT THING BY YOU.

THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO.

AND BY GOD, I'M GONNA GET THAT BOY A DAMN GOOD DENTIST.

King: YO, SEAN.

WYOMING-- WE'RE HOME, BABY.

WHOO!

[HORN HONKS]

WE'RE HOME, BABY-- WYOMING.

NO PLACE LIKE HOME.

YEAH.

HUH? HUH?

I CAN BREATHE OUT HERE.

[SIREN]

APPROACH THE VEHICLE, SON.

HI, DAD.

NO BACK TALK,

NO EXCUSES--

JUST GET IN THE CAR.

[STARTS ENGINE]

WHAT'D HE DO?

NOTHING.

YOU'RE GOING TO BE A COP, LITTLE MISTER--

NO SKIMPY OUTFITS,

NO TOUCHING OTHER MEN.

BUT I'M DESTINED FOR OTHER THINGS.

I'M FOLLOWING MY DREAM.

WELL, YOUR DREAM IS STUPID.

LOOK, SON, JUST BECAUSE IT'S YOUR DREAM

DOESN'T MAKE IT RIGHT OR NOBLE OR WHATEVER.

CHARLIE MANSON WAS FOLLOWING HIS DREAM.

JOE STALIN, MICHAEL BOLTON--

YOU GET MY POINT?

THAT'S A 211, BREAKING AND ENTERING.

GORDIE, COME ON.

WE NEED YOU, BROTHER. LET'S GO.

GORDIE, WE NEED YOU, BABY. I NEED YOU.

I NEED YOU IN MY CORNER, MAN.

I NEED YOU TO HELP ME PICK MY POSSE.

I NEED YOU, MAN. I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO THIS WITHOUT YOU.

REALLY?

YEAH.

YOU DO?

I NEED YOU TO HELP US GO DOWN TO VEGAS AND RULE ASS!

COME ON! LET'S GO! LET'S BEGONE!

I CAN'T.

I GOTTA STUDY FOR THIS COP EXAM.

MY DAD...

[COPS THEME PLAYS]

GORDIE, IT'S YOUR DREAM. IT'S YOUR DREAM.

COME ON.

MY DREAM'S STUPID.

TIME FOR ME TO GET RID OF ALL THIS JUNK.

YOU KNOW, GET RID OF ALL MY CHILDISH THINGS.

TIME FOR ME TO GROW UP.

WHAT, ARE YOU...

WE'VE COME ALL THIS WAY.

WHY ARE YOU GIVING UP ON ME NOW?

I'M SORRY.

I CAN'T.

YOU GUYS BETTER GET OUT OF HERE.

MY DAD'LL SHOOT YOU.

HE WILL.

[ROOSTER CROWS]

King: AHH! OHH!

MMM! OOF!

NEXT, PLEASE.

[BELL RINGS]

WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT

HELL, EVERYBODY KNOWS WRESTLING'S FAKE.

MM-HMM.

WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT

ANYMORE

THAT FEEL FAKE?

[BELL RINGS]

[BELL RINGS]

[BELL RINGS]

Both: WE ARE SATAN'S SIAMESE TWINS!

YOU GUYS AREN'T REALLY SIAMESE TWINS, ARE YOU?

SORRY.

[BELL RINGS]

OKLAHOMA

WHERE THE WIND GOES SWEEPING DOWN THE PLAINS

WHERE THE WAVING WHEAT

SURE SMELLS SWEET

AREN'T THESE THE AUDITIONS FOR OKLAHOMA?

[BELL RINGS]

King: OK, DAWKINS, WHO'S LEFT?

FIRST...

FIREMAN FRED.

I'M FIREMAN FRED,

AND I'M GOING TO HOSE YOU!

GAAH!

YEAH.

Sean: THOSE ARE GOOD.

RIGHT?

NEXT, THIS IS THE CHEWER.

COME ON.

LAST, BUT NOT LEAST, THIS IS KITTY.

HI.

HELLO, DARLIN'. UH...

I'M AFRAID WE REALLY NEED TO TAKE PEOPLE

WHO CAN HELP US IN VEGAS.

MY FRIENDS,

THEY CALL ME PRETTY KITTY.

[LIGHT APPLAUSE]

I MEAN, SHE RELATES WELL. SHE'S--

WHAT'S SHE GOING TO DO, BOOB THEM TO DEATH?

HOW YOU FEELING, BIG GUY?

I FEEL PRETTY GOOD.

GOOD.

HAVEN'T FELT THIS GOOD IN A LONG TIME.

GOOD. KEEP IT UP.

YOU READY FOR VEGAS TOMORROW?

YEAH.

I WISH GORDIE WAS COMING.

YEAH, ME TOO.

[PEOPLE CHEERING]

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

SEE YOU, NOW. BYE-BYE.

HEY, SEAN.

I SAW YOU ON TNT. WHAT WAS NEW YORK LIKE?

IT WAS GOOD. IT WAS FUN.

YOU KNOW, I'M NOT MUCH OF A BIG CITY FELLA.

I MEAN, MY HEART'S RIGHT HERE IN LUSK.

I'LL SEE YOU, OK?

Crowd: KING! KING! KING! KING!

KING! KING!

EXCUSE ME.

HI, WENDY.

HI.

I COULDN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT

HOW YOU WERE ALWAYS REALLY NICE TO ME,

AND I WAS THINKING I SHOULD HAVE BEEN A LOT NICER BACK.

I GOT YOU SOMETHING.

OH. THANK YOU, SEAN.

LIKE IT?

OH...IT'S THE GREATEST.

I HAVE A GIFT FOR YOU, TOO.

OH, YEAH?

MM-HMM.

COME HERE.

[SIREN]

HEY, HEY, WATCH IT!

I REALLY WISH I COULD GO WITH YOU,

BUT I CAN'T.

I'M SORRY.

I FEEL LIKE I LET YOU DOWN.

GORDIE, I UNDERSTAND.

REALLY, I DO.

AND I WANT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING,

NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS,

I JUST CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH

FOR WHAT YOU AND YOUR PARTNER DID FOR ME.

ALL RIGHT?

YEAH.

OK. GOOD LUCK TO YOU NOW.

YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

[CHEERING AND CLAPPING]

Sean: HEY, WAIT, STOP THE CAR!

Wendy: GOOD LUCK, KING! OH!

YOU ALL RIGHT?

GOOD.

YEAH, TOTALLY.

I JUST WANT TO SAY GOOD LUCK

AND MAYBE I'LL SEE YOU AT THE RESTAURANT.

DEFINITELY.

GOOD LUCK.

THANK YOU.

I'LL TOTALLY BE THINKING OF YOU! BYE!

BYE!

[CHEERING]

BABY, I GOT YOUR MONEY

GOT YOUR MONEY

SAY HEY

BABY, I GOT YOUR MONEY

SEXY, SEXY, SEXY

SEXY

LISTEN TO ME VERY CAREFULLY.

IF YOU PLAN TO HAVE ANY FUTURE

IN MY BUSINESS WHATSOEVER,

YOU WILL NOT ALLOW JIMMY KING

TO REACH THAT BELT.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

WHAT?

EXCUSE ME, MR. SINCLAIR,

BUT THEY'RE READY FOR YOU.

THANK YOU.

I WILL KILL YOU IF YOU FUCK THIS UP.

LOOKIN' GOOD, BABY.

THANK YOU.

YOU'RE LOOKIN' GOOD.

AM I?

ARE YOU READY?

UH-HUH. HELL, YEAH.

[CHEERING]

Sinclair: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...

WHY DID YOU DRAG ME HERE?

BECAUSE HE SENT THE TICKETS.

AND WELCOME TO ONE MAN'S SUICIDE!

TONIGHT...THE WCW BELT IS ON THE LINE!

ONE MILLION DOLLARS IS ON THE LINE!

AND ONE MAN'S LIFE...

IS ON THE LINE!

JIMMY KING...

YOU WANT THE BELT?

COME ON DOWN AND GET IT!

IT'S ON TOP...

OF THE CAGE OF DEATH!

WHICH IS ON TOP OF ANOTHER CAGE

WHICH IS YET ON TOP OF ANOTHER CAGE!

3 CAGES...

2 WARRIORS...

ONE BELT!

A TRIPLE CAGE?

COME ON DOWN!

[CLANG]

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME

FOR THE WCW ROYAL BASH MAIN EVENT

FOR THE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WORLD!

[CHEERING]

COMING TO THE RING FIRST FROM MARRIETA, GEORGIA...

OK, BABY. TRIPLE CAGE.

YOU WATCH MY BACK.

KEEP THAT POSSE ON STAND-BY.

JIMMY KING!

WATCH OUT FOR THE PYRO.

WHAT WAS THAT LAST THING?

[FANFARE PLAYING]

WHAT WAS THAT LAST THING?

AAH! OH, MY GOD, I'M ON FIRE!

I'M MELTING! I'M MELTING!

SWEET JESUS, I'M MELTING!

I SAID "WATCH OUT FOR THE PYRO."

AND NOW MAKING HIS ENTRANCE TO THE RING,

DDP...

DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE!

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

[CROWD BOOING]

BAM!

I HEARD SAL WAS JUST TOO BEAT UP

TO MAKE THE TRIP.

AND NOW THE TRIPLE CAGE IS IN PLACE AND READY.

THE CHALLENGER AND CHAMPION ARE READY.

ARE WE READY?

[CHEERING]

Buffer: FOR THE THOUSANDS IN ATTENDANCE

AND THE MILLIONS WATCHING AROUND THE WORLD,

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE ARE...

RRREADY TO RRRU-U-UMBLE!

[DING DING]

[CLICK]

SEE YOU IN HELL.

Tenay: AND THERE'S THE OPENING BELL.

YOU CAN FEEL THE ELECTRICITY AND THE EMOTION

IN THIS GREAT ARENA.

AHH.

COME ON, BABY! LET'S DO THIS! LET'S GO!

[SPITS]

UNH!

YOU CAN'T SPIT!

YEAH, BABY, THAT'S IT!

UNH!

YAAH!

OH, JEEZ. GOD, HIS BACK.

AAH!

OH!

BOO!

[BOOING]

COME ON, KING.

LET ME GIVE YOU A HAND, BUDDY.

HEY!

YOU IDIOT. THAT STUFF DOESN'T WORK.

[CLICK]

WHAT THE--

A DIAMOND UPSIDE DOWN IS A PUSSY!

Tenay: JIMMY KING

POSITIONING THE LADDER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING.

HURRY UP! COME ON!

IT LOOKS LIKE HE'S HEADED UP TO THE SECOND CAGE.

GET HIM DOWN!

WHO ARE THESE 2 GUYS COMING OUT?

IT'S JUVENTUD GUERRERO...

JUVENTUD JUST DROP-KICKED THE LADDER!

OH, JEEZ!

UNH!

BUT WHO'S THAT OTHER MASKED WRESTLER?

AAH!

AAH!

THE CROWN!

Tenay: KING'S GOING FOR THE CROWN!

COME ON, KING!

SMACK HIM AROUND LIKE A TOOTHLESS CRACK WHORE!

YAAH!

BAM!

EVERYBODY OUT HERE NOW!

ALL OF YOU! LET'S GO!

COME ON! COME ON!

Schiavone: 4 MEN ARE COMING OUT!

OF COURSE IT'S DDP's GOONS!

Sean: LOOK OUT, JIMMY!

YAAH!

RAAH!

Sean: YEAH, BABY!

THAT'S IT! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!

LEAVE--

DON'T DO IT, DAD! DON'T!

DON'T DO IT, DAD!

Schiavone: WHY DID HE STOP? WHY DID JIMMY KING STOP?

SH...

HE JUST STOPPED IN HIS TRACKS.

SON?

JUNIOR, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

PAYING YOU BACK!

YEAH!

AAH!

JIMMY KING'S THE RECIPIENT OF A HORRIBLE BEATING

AND IT ALL STARTED WITH HIS OWN SON!

OH. OW.

AAH.

[RUMBLING]

[CHEERING]

YEAH, BABY!

BUT HERE COMES SOME RELIEF!

LOOK, IT'S GOLDBERG!

THE DISCO INFERNO! KIDMAN AND BOOKER T!

[GRUNTING]

THEY'VE LOCKED THE GATE!

THERE'S NO WAY THEY CAN GET THROUGH THE GATE!

MIKE, WHAT IS THIS? WHAT'S THIS RIGHT HERE?

AAH!

OH!

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

UNH!

AAH!

RAAH!

YAAH!

AAH!

GET HIM GOOD!

YOU WANT TO TURN THAT CRAP OFF?

MY SON ALMOST THREW AWAY A CAREER

FOR THAT NONSENSE.

YOUR SON'S STARTING A CAREER

WITH THAT NONSENSE!

PIN HIM! PIN HIM!

COME ON, YOU CAN DO IT!

YEAH!

COME ON, KING!

SON OF A BITCH.

GORDIE?

GET UP AND GET THAT BELT!

THAT'S MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD!

YOU SEE THAT?

HE'S NOT REALLY A COP, THOUGH.

YAAH!

WHOA!

HARPOON HIS ASS!

AAH!

UNH!

YEAH! WHOO!

HEY! THAT'S MY BOY!

HEY, HEY, HEY, NICE SPEAR, KID.

WHO YOU CALLING "KID"?

YOU HEAR ME?

GO IN THERE AND GET UP!

Tenay: JIMMY KING HAS MADE HIS WAY UP TO THE SECOND CAGE!

Gordie: YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO AN ATTORNEY!

IF YOU CANNOT AFFORD AN ATTORNEY--

GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK, BROTHER!

GOOD TO BE BACK, BROTHER!

DID YOU CHECK IT OUT? WHAT DID YOU THINK?

DID YOU LIKE MY DEAL?

YOU'RE SUCH THE PONCH!

GORDIE, YOU LOOK GREAT IN THAT UNIFORM.

AND THE FANS LOVE YOU.

I THINK WE SHOULD GET BACK TOGETHER.

HEY, SASHA--

SEAN!

SASHA, I COULD NEVER FORGIVE YOU

FOR WHAT YOU DID TO SAL.

YOU'RE A MEAN, MEAN LADY.

SASHA...

SHUT UP, SEAN!

SASHA, YOU SHOULDN'T...

STAND SO CLOSE TO THE RING

WHEN THERE'S A LADDER MATCH GOING ON.

YAAH!

UNH!

Schiavone: AND NOW BOTH MEN,

DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE AND JIMMY KING

HAVE MADE IT UP TO THE SECOND CAGE!

YAAH!

OHH!

GAAH!

Schiavone: THIS IS WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT!

THE FURTHER YOU GET UP, THE TOUGHER IT IS,

AND THEY ARE JUST WASTING EACH OTHER!

AAH!

CAN YOU IMAGINE THE INTENSITY?

COME ON, YOU SON OF A...

THIS THING HAS TURNED INTO A HARD-CORE STREET FIGHT!

AAH! AAH!

DDP IS HEADED UP!

HE'S MADE HIS WAY INTO CAGE #3!

UNH!

OH!

AAH! UNH! UNH!

AAH!

OH, HE JUST SENT JIMMY KING DOWN ALL THE WAY TO CAGE #1!

BAM!

UNGH!

IT'S STING! HE NAILS DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, FREAK?!

STING IS HELPING JIMMY KING! CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?

THIS IS A SHOCKER!

JIMMY KING'S ALL RIGHT BY ME.

YOU LOVE JIMMY KING.

I LOVE JIMMY KING.

WE'RE MEN...

AND WE'RE NOT AFRAID TO SAY THAT WE LOVE OTHER MEN.

I LOVE YOU.

ME, TOO, MAN. HIT ME! HIT ME! MY TURN!

OH!

IT'S EVEN! IT'S BACK TO SQUARE ONE!

THEY'RE FIGHTING THEIR WAY UP THE SIDE OF THE CAGE,

AND THEY'RE HEADED TO THE TOP!

[GRUNTING]

KING, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU FIGHTING FOR?

ME!

OOF!

YAAH!

UNH!

AAGGH!

YEAH!

YEAH!

[GASPING]

YOU GOT IT, KING!

YOU GOT IT! COME ON!

AAH!

YAAH!

OOH!

[CHEERING]

Tenay: DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE HAS TAKEN A HORRIBLE FALL!

HE'S DOWN!

[FANFARE PLAYING]

YEAH! YEAH! COME ON, BUDDY!

[CHEERING]

[BELL RINGING]

Tenay: JIMMY KING HAS THE BELT!

HE DID IT! JIMMY KING IS THE CHAMPION!

Schiavone: ALL RIGHT, JIMMY KING!

YEAH!

YEAH, BABY!

YOU DID IT!

YEAH!

YEAH!

YEAH!

YEAH! THAT'S RIGHT!

[LAUGHS]

WHOO-AH!

Schiavone: WHAT A STRUGGLE! WHAT A BATTLE!

AND JIMMY KING HAS OVERCOME ALL THE ODDS, MIKE!

HE'S THE CHAMPION!

YOU SUCK, SINCLAIR!

[SHOUTING]

GET OUTTA HERE!

Woman: YOU DESERVE WHAT YOU GET, SINCLAIR!

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!

I MADE WRESTLING! ME!

I MADE 'EM ALL!

[CHEERING]

YOU DIDN'T MAKE WRESTLING! WE MADE WRESTLING!

UNH! [GASPS]

YEAH, GEEK!

THE PEOPLE, THE FANS MADE WRESTLING!

UNH!

NO! NO!

Man: GET OUTTA HERE, CREEP!

COME ON!

Sinclair: UNH! OW!

[CRYING]

IN THE MOST AMAZING BATTLE EVER WITNESSED,

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

THE UNDISPUTED WCW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD,

JIMMY KING!

[CHEERING]

KING, YOU'VE REGAINED THE HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE,

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE TAG TEAM BELTS?

ANY THOUGHTS ABOUT UNIFICATION?

EXCUSE ME. JIMMY, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU NEED

A TAG TEAM PARTNER.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

BILL, I APPRECIATE IT. REALLY, I DO.

BUT I THINK I ALREADY GOT ME

A TAG TEAM PARTNER OUT HERE SOMEWHERE.

WHERE IS HE?

THERE HE IS. THAT'S HIM RIGHT THERE.

MY NEW TAG TEAM PARTNER.

GORDIE BOGGS, AKA "THE LAW"!

YEAH!

WHOO!

I WILL BUST YOU!

AH, THAT'S IT! THAT'S IT!

RIGHT HERE'S OUR NEW MANAGER,

SEAN "SUGAR DADDY" DAWKINS!

WHOO!

WHOO!

WHOO! YEAH! YEAH!

I LOVE YOU, SEAN!

I LOVE SEAN!

[CHEERING]

YOU SEE, DREAMS CAN COME TRUE.

YEAH, BUT IT WAS A ONE-TIME DEAL.

RIGHT. LIKE YOU'RE REALLY GONNA BE

THE KING'S MANAGER AND GORDIE'S GONNA WRESTLE.

[SHOUTING]

AAH!

[GROANING]

CAN YOU SAY IT NOW?

I'M YOUR BITCH, AND YOU'RE MY DADDY?

[WHIMPERS] OW.

ROLLED RIGHT OFF HIS TONGUE.

THAT SHOULD TEACH YOU TO BE NICE TO KIDS.

YEAH.

[HORN HONKS]

GENTLEMEN...WE GOTTA GO.

SOMEBODY BETTER PUT YOU BACK INTO YOUR PLACE

SINGING

UNH

GOD BLESS AMERICA! HA HA HA!

WE WILL, WE WILL ROCK YOU

WE WILL, WE WILL

ROCK YOU

YOU LIKE SAMOAN BUTT SEX?

THERE'S A LOT OF GLARE

COMING OFF THAT DOME OF YOURS, ANUS-BREATH.

THERE'S A LOT OF GLARE COMING OFF

THAT DOME OF YOURS, BOOGER-FACE!

IT SMELLS LIKE YOU POURED IT RIGHT FROM YOUR BUTT.

SMELLS LIKE YOU POURED IT RIGHT FROM YOUR BUTT.

AAH! OH! AAH! HEY!

I FORGOT THE LINE. YOU GOTTA GIMME THE LINE.

NOW I'M GONNA GET YOU!

AAH!

OH, SHIT, MAN!

MICHAEL GOT HIMSELF A WHORE

SORRY.

THAT WAS QUITE A THROW. HOW YOU--AH.

HEY, THAT'S MY HAND. IT'S BROKEN NOW.

COME ON! THIS IS NOTHING!

YEAH! REMEMBER WHEN MACHO MAN THREW YOU OFF THE RAIL?

HA! GO. START AGAIN.

COME ON! THIS IS NOTHING!

YOU REMEMBER WHEN MACHO MAN THREW YOU OFF THE RAIL

AND YOU LANDED ON THE LADDER? NO, THAT'S BAD.

SAY IT AGAIN ONE MORE TIME.

COME ON! THIS IS NOTHING!

SHUT UP.

YEAH--SORRY.

YEAH!

YOU BROKE 5 RIBS AND DISLOCATED YOUR SHOULDER,

BUT YOU... YOU BROKE--SHUT UP!

YEAH! YOU BROKE 5 RIBS AND DISLOCATED YOUR SHOULDER!

YOU STILL CAME BACK TO WHIP ALL 3!

[BLEEP]

HA HA HA! HE'S WORTHLESS. HE CAN'T DO IT.

Director: CUT!

BREASTS, JUGS, HOOTERS.

I CAN'T STOP LOOKING AT 'EM.

HA HA HA!

YOU'RE TERRIFYING.

[GROANING]

OH, THE HUMANITY!

[WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT PLAYS]

[BLOODSTAINS PLAYS ]

The Description of Ready to Rumble