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Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Eugene Ranks Every Astrological Sign From Best To Worst

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- Hello, and welcome to Rank King Astrology.

I'm your Rank King, Eugene.

Please welcome my special Rank Priestess, Allison.

- Oh, wow.

- Pretty good, right?

- That was really good. - Yes.

- Thank you.

- We are very well-versed in the way of the stars.

And today we are gonna rank all of the astrological signs

from best to worst.

Now for everyone watching, it doesn't matter

if you're into astrology.

You have never seen a zodiac video like this.

This will be one of the only times

you'll see people actually rank all of the signs

from best to worst with no mercy.

We are right.

You are wrong.

Shut up.

(fast music)

(tense, dramatic music)

(pouring)

Ooh, the astrolo-tea is hot today.

So for you to relate to this video,

you should know a few basics about astrology.

One, your sun sign.

That's the sign that you're most commonly associated with.

- Sun you already know.

It's the deepest part of who you are.

- Now you have two other signs that are very important

that factor into your personality.

- Your rising sign or ascendant sign

is kind of what people meet when they first meet you

so it's like you at a party.

Your moon sign is your emotional side.

- Cocktail of different cosmic signs.

Speaking of which, it won't be Rank King

without his favorite drink.

- Oh my God!

- Is it okay if I put the whiskey in the astrology?

You never have to refer to your horoscope ever again

because you can always come back to this video.

Now does this mean that the sign that we rank worst

is, in fact, worse than the other 11 signs?

- No, it does not.

It just means I don't want you around me.

(laughing)

- The first sign in the astrological wheel,

the hard headed ram himself, Aries.

- The baby, the baby of the zodiac.

- They do represent the age zero of like,

infancy to seven, so they are literal children.

Aries are very bad at concealing their feelings,

which is good in some ways.

- Yeah.

- I don't feel like I know many dishonest Aries.

- No, no.

They can just be reactionary.

- They can be little fucking bitches.

Naturally, Aries actually has a pure,

stereotypically masculine energy.

- Each sign, it's in an element.

So we're talking about fire signs right now,

and there's three signs in each element.

So Aries is the cardinal of fire.

- Yes, and cardinal is one of the qualities of sign,

which you have cardinal, mutable, and fixed.

The different karmas you can have between

four different elements and three different qualities

makes 12 signs total.

- Math.

- Math.

So Aries is the cardinal fire.

- Yes.

- Otherwise for me, known as a spark.

The thing is that sparks are sparks.

They go hot and then they kinda die out.

- That's something that I do like about Aries.

Even if they get super riled up,

they can cool down fast and just get back to work

so they don't really hold grudges

which is something that I like.

- Yeah, they're very like go, go, go.

- Yes.

- I feel like in bed Aries might finish too quickly.

I'm just saying.

- I, yeah, that sounds about right.

- They come into a room like the Kool-Aid man.

Oh yeah, here I am, explosions.

Where would you put Aries currently

in your ranking, high priestess?

- Listen, I'm not trying to offend

any Aries that I personally know,

but in general, I rank Aries pretty low.

- Wow, you're already throwing the first sign

towards the end?

- Yeah, I'm right.

You're wrong.

Shut the fuck up.

(laughing)

- Yeah!

Astrology, bitches!

- Okay, let's get out of Aries territory.

- Yeah, gotta get out of this house.

Ooh, this house is on fire.

Taurus. - Taurus.

- To the second sign of the zodiac.

- So we're a little older now.

- Mhmm, the bull.

- We're teens?

- Seven to fourteen, it's like preteen age.

- Oh, we're tweens.

- And inversely from Aries,

they represent the pure feminine form stereotypically.

They are the fixed earth sign, which is,

in my mind, represented by a garden.

- If they're really like feeling

excited about something, they get the job done.

They're workaholics.

They're really productive.

- I feel like Tauruses overall

have a more relaxed way, a lived in way,

in which they move and speak.

- If they were a tea, they'd be chamomile, for sure.

- Yeah.

- Because they calm you down.

- I guarantee you, I think a lot of people out there

have a close Taurus in their lives.

I do think, though, that Tauruses

sometimes can be just on this side of boring.

- It's true. - Just a little.

- You forget about them.

- They're not the sharpest in the tool shed.

Like, they're great, I like hanging out with them,

but I wouldn't like, they wouldn't be getting

a Nobel Prize anytime soon.

I'm not saying Tauruses are the dumbest sign,

but there is a reason they're represented by

a bull, which is essentially a cow.

Cows are not very smart.

Do you put Taurus above or below Aries?

- I'd put Taurus above.

- Mhmm, we just called Aries all babies

and Tauruses really dumb so I think we're on a great roll.

You don't want your auntie's horoscope.

- That's over.

It's 2019, it's canceled.

- Oh my God this whiskey is hitting hard.

Now there are certain signs,

regardless of if you're even into astrology,

that have reputations outside

of the cosmic universe.

- Yeah, oh, it's polarizing

and let me just start off by saying

Kanye West, Trump, two very prominent Geminis.

- I'll add two more.

Keith Habersberger.

Ned Fulmer. - Ooh!

(laughing)

- Oh shit, right at the bottom.

No, listen, I actually like Geminis.

- Oh, me too.

- Yeah they get a lot of, the stereotype

around Gemini is that they're two-faced,

Which is such a Kindergartner way to say something.

- That's stupid, that's your Auntie's horoscope.

- Honestly I think Geminis aren't two-face,

they're like multi-faced.

They're very good at talking a lot of game sometimes

without the follow-through.

- Yes!

- A lot of chatting shit up

but they are repped by the teenagers.

They're like 14-21,

which makes total sense.

- Oh, socially they're the best.

- Love partying with Gemini.

- Social butterfly.

- Emotional maturity is sometimes dicey

because if you think about it,

like teenagers, a lot of emotion

but they don't quite know exactly where to direct it.

Air mutable.

- So that makes sense.

- It's a changing air, it's like electricity.

- Yes.

- Yes, their morphing air, their buzz.

Fantastic friends.

Terrible lovers.

- Yeah I like 'em around me.

I just don' wanna date them.

So you're gonna put them above the other two?

- I am.

(tea pours)

- Cancer is water and cardinal.

- Stream.

- Like a river, like a stream.

So Cancer represents the age group of 21 to 28.

It's kinda like the post-teenage, marrying age.

- [Together] Quarter-life crisis.

- Existential.

- Yeah, so you're getting married

or all your friends are getting married

and I feel like that can translate either way.

Like they can either be very in touch

with other people's and their own

or they can just feel like really manipulative.

- They can be moody,

if they're stressed out about something

they'll take it out on other people

when it's really just poor time management.

- And most Cancers I know,

the emotional aspect isn't that they cry often,

it's that they know how to fake-cry.

There's a big difference.

- Ooh, well I think also Cancer represents

Mother Earth. - Yeah.

- It's where we come from,

it's who we are, it's in us.

- Yeah, it's not a sexuality, it's a sensuality.

- Yeah.

- I feel sensuality if I'm around Cancers.

They'd be good for like a snog and a cuddle.

If any sign is a lot like their symbol,

I'd say Cancers are quite crabby.

So Cancers can be this gentle, adorable crab

eating a cherry or then

you can look at them with their big ass pinchers,

chasing some, like, poor bird down the beach

and then eating it with its weird,

like mouth mandibles.

Think about all the ocean creatures that exist.

You don't really remember the crab

when you're looking at a dolphin.

You got a dolphin!

Who's gonna look at the fucking crab?

I'm gonna put Cancer above Aries,

behind Taurus.

- We have arrived to none other than

- [Together] Leo.

- The Lion.

They are the fixed fire sign.

- They are so fixed!

- It is a sun,

that's what Leos think about themselves.

Leos make sure they're not forgettable.

- That's what drives them in life.

- Every Leo you know says they're Leo

says it with the most like smug smirk.

- Ugh, they love being a Leo.

So good in bed, so attractive,

so funny, life of the party.

- Because of that, they have a

certain amount of, here's the key word,

entitlement.

- We have one in the Try Guys.

- I'm not surprised

because Leos are in the entertainment industry always.

They're super funny, they're spontaneous,

you just like have a good time them

but then they'll take you to a party

and then leave you to be in the center

and be like whoa, whoa, whoa,

look at me, look at me, look at me!

- Literally the sun.

My mom's a Leo.

She probably was fucking shitty as a kid

but now she's a brilliant, charming,

charismatic star-quality, blessed woman.

- I'm gonna put them above Cancer.

- But below Taurus.

- Everyone else, yeah.

- Leos are gonna be very mad in the audience,

'cause they know that they thought

they would be number one,

that's just what Leos like to do.

- Oh they always think they're number one.

- Well guess what, Leo?

- I'm right.

You're wrong.

- [Together] Shut up.

- Virgo, a very highly-populated sign.

- Famous Virgo, Beyonce.

- She's the super-star Virgo

but she's grounded in terms of her personality.

And Virgos are the raising the child era,

the sort of like late-thirties,

where everything has to be done a certain way.

Virgo is interesting because I feel like

out of all the signs Virgo has a lot of diversity

and personalities.

And this is my theory,

Virgo is Earth but they're also mutable

so for me mutable Earth is like clay.

You take life and you mold it the way

you think it should be.

- Kind of controlling.

- A little controlling, that's where you

get the bad side of Virgos

and some other Virgos,

they let themselves be the clay.

So, they let the experience shape them.

- And you do not want to cross a Virgo.

- That is off the board.

- It's like probably the last sign

that I would want to be mad at me.

And they'll argue with you to the death.

They're right, you're wrong, someone needs to shut up.

(laughing)

- The worst thing is a Virgo that fails.

- Ooh, well they'll blame everybody else.

- Virgos are literally just virgins in denial.

- Okay I know we talked a lot of shit

but I like Virgos. - Oh!

- Let's put them underneath Gemini

but I cannot believe Geminis are so high on my list

I'm repulsed by many Geminis.

- We're only half way through the Zodiac.

- Okay, we're only half way through.

- Yeah we're now entering

the second half of the wheel.

What do we start with in the seventh sign?

It is...

- [Together] Libra!

- Libras are an air sign, cardinal.

- That means they're active air,

they're like wind zephyrs.

- Very easy to get along with,

great conversationalists.

- I think Libras really value sharpness.

On the most complete level, enjoy intellectualism.

- We like to look at things from all angles,

from all sides.

Libras can be a little, I think, cold.

Someone once said it's the steel hand

in the velvet glove.

Not very judgemental, I think.

- Oh Allison, all that's so

nice and sweet about Libras

but I gotta lay it down hard.

- Okay, come for me.

- Libras are the fakest sign of the zodiac.

It's just, you know, I just wish

sometimes my Libra friends won't act

like they know about something when

they don't know about it.

But they're the first ones to be like,

yes.

- I mean, I think a Libra fear is not being liked.

- People-pleasing, steel but with a velvet-y finish.

- And definitely bottoms.

(laughing)

But a power bottom.

- Oh, that's right!

Do you think Libra is better than Gemini?

- Yeah I do.

- The Libra has spoken.

She's acted like she wasn't gonna do it

but she did it, she put herself at the top.

- I feel like you might put Capricorn at the top.

Listen, we're not at the top top yet

we still got several signs to go.

- I have got a lot to say about myself

so wait until you get to Capricorn.

We are the king of self-hatred, so.

We've finally come to the other

most hot-button sign of the Zodiac.

- [Together] Scorpio.

- Wow, I'm pouring some tea for this one.

They're very mysterious.

They're into the macabre.

- It's an intellectual routing.

- It is, okay I find them really smart.

- Yeah.

- They're sexy minds, I think.

They see things before you see them.

They're very perceptive.

- Scorpios are fixed water.

Ice, ice baby.

The worst thing about Scorpios

is they're very black and white.

Libra can see all of the gray

and Libra actively considers everything in between.

- And lives in the gray.

- They live in the gray.

Scorpios, they know what black is,

they know what white is.

Everything is definitive.

I think Scorpios are the hardest

people to change their mind on something.

- They hate you or they love you

and they right away put you in that box

and then you're not getting out of that box.

- However, all of that extreme energy,

that intensity translates really well

when it comes to sex.

- They are very sensitive and emotional

and they are very perceptive.

So those are all amazing traits for sex!

- Yeah, in bed!

- And everything is about them,

it's a narcissistic sensitivity.

- They're sensitive like other water signs

but they weaponize sensitivity.

- Yes.

Ugh.

- Like venom.

Also Scorpios all look like penises.

Men and women.

I mean it's the serpentine feel

but I think Scorpios all look vaguely phallic,

they all look kind of penis-like.

Just look at your Scorpio friends.

- I like them.

- Above Libra?

- Yeah.

- (claps) Scorpio is taking the lead?

You love that weaponized sensitivity.

- It's just raw humanity, you know?

- Sagittarius, the sign everyone knows

how to spell and--

- We just say Sag.

- Do you say Sag?

- It's like ugh, too much.

- I mean Sagittarius are often too much.

Sagittarius, represented by the centaur archer

so they're like shifting, changing fire.

They're like, oh my God I'm gonna get real weird.

They're like plasma.

Yeah, they're just like space dust.

I haven't kept a lot of Sagittarius friends,

does that make sense?

- You know, nobody can keep a Sagittarius.

They're really adventurous,

they like to have fun,

they have a lot of energy,

they move partners, they move jobs,

they move where they live,

they like to keep it moving.

They're in the flow.

- I'm envious of their sense of just like,

not giving a shit.

- Yeah.

- I really like that.

And they do strive towards

this idea of like there is no limit.

- And living life to the fullest, I think.

- A Sagittarius is like a horse

that shits in a field and you

point at the shit and say hey horse

is that your shit?

And then it goes (whinnies) I'm a horse

and trots away, hair blowing in the wind.

They're just gonna pretend everything

is fancy free and they're just gonna

go on and be like this is my life I'm space dust,

watch me ride a rainbow.

I would say more in the middle.

I think after Virgo before Taurus.

- Oh, interesting.

You know who we're moving onto now?

- It's you.

Capricorn.

- Capricorn.

Capricorn time.

- [Together] Woo!

- Let's get that tea hot!

- New Year's Eve!

- It's coming, it's coming, it's coming.

Jesus was a Capricorn.

Now Capricorns are a cardinal Earth sign.

You know what that means?

We're mountains,

which means we're stubborn as fuck.

We're giants.

And by giant I mean giant egos.

We're late bloomers and we're

making up for a lot of time, you know?

I didn't date until I was like

in my mid-twenties.

That's a Capricorn thing.

But I still thought I was better than everyone else.

Capricorns are very intense, focused people.

Sometimes it's on things like career,

sometimes it's on things like relationships.

- The ambition comes from wanting to do

so many different things and be so many different people.

- Now I think a lot of Capricorns

are sophisticated, we seem like we like nice things.

We can be pessimistic,

in a way that's just so hard to get around.

Like there's no sunshine that can pierce

through the pessimism of a Capricorn who's depressed.

My God.

- Oh my God, 100%.

- When Capricorns are depressed,

ugh we're just like woe is me,

everything is in decline,

I mean we on the age retirement.

Every Capricorn has a distinct feeling of sadness.

- Yes.

- It just emanates from us,

which isn't always a bad thing.

- No.

- I find it attractive sometimes in people.

- Well then if you channel it they're

some of the funniest people in the Zodiac

and they don't get a lot of credit for that.

- They have a very dark sense of humor.

- Yeah. - Knock, knock.

- Who's there?

- Death.

Where do they go?

- I'm ranking you pretty high up.

Let's see.

I'm gonna put Capricorn before Gemini.

- Really? - Third.

- We're actually entering into the Age of Aquarius again.

- Right now. - Yeah.

- Holy shit.

We just need a little more.

- We need a drink for Aquarius.

- And a little more liquor.

Can have just like a tiny bit?

- I need some too now.

- Yes, Aquar- whoa.

Aquarius is an iconic sign.

Made iconic really by like

the sexual revolution movement in the '60's.

Aquarius is paradise,

right? - Well--

- Yeah, it's what they strive for,

what they live in, this idea of paradise.

- Yeah, 'cause they're a little delusional.

- Super delusional, y'all.

Aquarius is associated not only with revolution

but the idea of change, so uprising.

Which I find exciting a lot of the time.

They're very interesting friends.

- I appreciate their perspective always,

they're really creative and something

I really like about them is that

they see things from a bigger perspective.

They are contrarians.

So they don't like what other people like,

they're not gonna be into mainstream shit.

They're considered weird.

- Some days they're just kind of posers.

- They have the same thing that the Virgo has

is like they're kinda on a pedestal.

So they think that they know you better

than you know yourself.

And that they, like are smarter than you, always.

- They can make people believe things that they say.

I feel like a lot of cult leaders are Aquarius

or a lot of Aquarius people are in cults.

But really, the coolest thing about Aquarius

is that every single Aquarius is an alien

wearing a human mask.

- Yes, oh my God.

They're aliens.

- Exactly, they're aliens.

They look at things like aliens.

- They are, like, don't know how to interact with things.

One of the most awkward signs, I would say.

But they also are very controlling.

They're looking at us like

oh how do I control all these little pieces.

- They're manipulative.

- They're very manipulative.

- So I'm going to have to put them pretty low.

After Sag. - Just under the middle.

- Yes, they're aliens.

- They're aliens.

If you really look at your Aquarius friends,

their heads are shaped like light bulbs.

We have one sign left

and it's about to get

(sparkle sound)

fishy.

(laughing)

- Cheers.

- We're at the end of the zodiac.

- Wow.

- We're at Pisces, the 12th sign.

Water, mutable, they're the ocean baby.

- They hate you but they love you.

That the first thing you know about Pisces.

Even if they bring up things, start fights,

they will always come crawling back.

- If you think of Aries at the beginning

at the Alpha, Pisces is the Omega.

They inhabit everything.

Which is very complicated.

Pisces are at death's door.

The Zodiacs previous to them has just

compiled into one person.

- Always are like oh my God,

you're not listening to me.

It's a really big thing for them.

So they need to be heard.

- You know what Pisces have?

Savior complex.

- Ugh, they're so heavy, it's an

unbearable heaviness of being.

- Heavy, no one can tell me what to do.

- And I regret this and I regret that

and you hurt me then and I don't know.

- I also love you and I love you

but I hate you, ugh.

Pisces are just, they're a mindfuck.

Every Pisces I've met has been thicker than other signs.

- Oh they have a great ass.

- Great ass.

- I wonder if Pisces, in a way

because they are the last sign,

have a certain amount of wisdom with which they speak.

Pisces are very follow-able.

- I like going deep with them.

I appreciate no surface level conversations

with them ever.

That ranks high for me.

- Wait, high enough to be at the top

of your ranking?

- Oh my God!

I think Pisces is number one. - Wow.

Allison, your final rank is number one Pisces

and at the very bottom baby Aries.

However this is not your show.

It's time to close ranks.

I've made some executive decisions

about your ranking, which I fully respect

but it is wrong.

Again, all of these signs are great

in their own way and we're making huge generalizations.

I have ranked as my worst sign,

Cancer. - It is?

- Not that Cancers are the worst but they're at the bottom

because they aren't overly emotional

like a lot of horoscopes say

but they can be super emotionally manipulative.

I don't trust when bad intentions act innocent and sweet.

- Cancer was my second to last.

- Gemini is my second-to-last.

- That's not wrong.

- I'm sorry, I had to think about it a while.

I love my Gemini friends but the

historically problematic Geminis

ruined their sign's reputation.

Plus I'm 100% sure they're gonna complain the most

about this ranking because

they're obsessed with how people view them.

- Third last.

- Pisces.

- Oh my God!

Flopper-oony!

- I actually dropped Pisces lower because

while we respect how deep and multi-faceted they are,

their complexity often turns into,

like crazy complications

and it's extremely difficult

getting along with a moody Pisces.

- Fourth to last?

- It's Capricorn.

- Oh. (laughing)

- It's me.

Okay, look, I know everyone expected me to

place my own sign high but Capricorns

can admittedly be too harsh and way nihilistic

and I know that the Caps watching probably

give the least amount of fucks about their ranking anyway

because life is sad and I'm sad.

Aquarius.

- I've had Aquarians rip my heart out.

- So I enjoy how a cool and forward-thinking

they are but it's sometimes hard to really connect

with an Aquarius on a personal level.

I trust the idea of the sign but I don't

always trust the people.

Because I can't trust you

if you might take over Earth.

- Okay, seventh place.

- Aries, I'm an Aries rising, I think they're

much better people than you say they are

even though they're like a child playing with matches

and will set your house on fire if they're mad.

But I like that my Aries friends are transparent

about all of their feelings.

- Okay, top six.

- I put Taurus.

I know, they're sometimes so boring.

You know I actually rely on my Taurus friends

and they're not really as dumb as they might look.

They stubborn but soft

and I truly believe that if you bond

with a great Taurus, they'll have your back for life.

- Eugene, your list is very much about trust.

- I hate that I put them here.

I had to though, after really thinking about it

but I put Leo.

I fucking despise are narcissistic Leos are

and I bet they are also all complimenting themselves

in the comments but the sheer amount of fun,

charismatic Leos I've met outweighs

their big ass egos.

- I'm totally confused right now.

Oh my God.

- I kept Libra there.

I love Libras.

Libras have a playful, whimsical energy

that is always welcome in my circle.

So they might come across as fake sometimes

but I think they do it out of the goodness

of trying to keep everyone happy and heard.

My number three.

Mine is Scorpio.

Scorpios are controversial

but unlike Cancer or Gemini or Pisces

I don't think that they'd stab me in the back.

They would stab me in the front

and I respect that.

They make their opinions known

beyond a shadow of a doubt.

I can't believe I'm saying this.

Okay, I think I'm going to say my number one,

because my last two signs

are Sagittarius and Virgo,

I think my number one is Virgo.

- Wow!

- My number two is Sagittarius.

Everyone would love to be around

a fun Sagittarius.

They can be high-minded and flighty

but I think they're most aspirational sign.

I mean they dance on moonlight

and shit fucking space glitter.

The reason I ranked Virgo number one,

above Sagittarius is Virgo is

the people's people of the Zodiac.

Even though they have a lot of neurosis,

I feel like I can understand it

and relate to many of their traits.

Their flaws are in ways everyone's flaws.

- I feel like they're a great equalizer.

- Yeah . - Wow, that was.

- Wow, we just,

and we finished the astrolo-tea.

- I need to go to therapy right now.

(laughing)

- So, comment below if you agree,

if you disagree, if you're a very, very angry Cancer.

- [Together] I'm right.

You're wrong.

Shut up.

- Virgos must be celebrating world-wide right now.

- This is the first time Virgos have ever won anything.

(laughing)

(upbeat music)

- Just look at your Scorpio friends.

Look in the mirror Scorpios at home

and you'll be like wow I do kind of look like a giant penis.

The Description of Eugene Ranks Every Astrological Sign From Best To Worst