Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Best of Between The Games (1-30) [AH]

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Jeremy: Can I axe kick your desk? Michael: So we- we got one.

Gavin: You wanna kick my desk?

J: Really bad...

M: You wanna KICK it?

J: I want to put my leg in the air and then HEEL down; I bet it'll go through.

M: Dude, if you chop it in half... FUCKING amazing.

J: Alright. It won't go through, It's not gonna go through. Matt: Will you?

Ryan: Thi- this is a blanket...

*EXODIA OBLITERATE*

Matt: YOU DIDN'T CATCH IT!!

M: Remember- remember when I say it was gonna break?

Ryan: What I- when I was about to say, "blanket of forgiveness for anything that happens," you should have let me finish.

M: Remember when I said it was gonna break?

R: It's uh...

Lindsay: That's a video.

R: Now, you're not-...

G: OH MAI GAWD, HOW DID YOU DO THAT?!

M: That is fucking... insanity. G: OH MAI GAWD!

M: HOW DID YOU THINK THAT WASN'T GONNA HAPPEN?!

M: YOU DIDN'T WANT TO STAND ON IT!

M: YOU WEIGH 150 POUNDS!

M: OF COURSE IT WAS GONNA BREAK!!

M: I PUT A FUCKING HOLE THROUGH THE CENTER OF IT ALREADY-

M: Got it? Jack: Got it.

*BIP*

G: Oooooooh NOOOOOO!

Jack: Oh...

M: You got a new hole!

M: You got a new finger hole.

M: IT WAS WEAKENED; HE KICKED THE WEAKEST SPOT ON THE ENTIRE DESK!

G: I am BLOWN away.

M: IT WAS LIKE FUCKING PAPER! G: Look at that!

J: I would like to re-apply for my black belt.

M: IT WAS LIKE PAPER!

R: That's why I moved this stuff.

M: IT FOLDED IMMEDIATELY!

Jeremy: They listen to ya'... when you get the knife out.

J: I'm gonna kick this fucking pumpkin.

Michael: Yeah... do it!

Gavin: Should we open on that, then? Mica: Are you gonna punt it?!

M: No, he's gonna axe kick it. J: No, I'm gonna axe kick it. Mica: You're gonna axe kick it?

M: Wha- so you're gonna kick i-

J: Okay... let's give myself the good luck first by saying... "It's not gonna go through."

*BROKEN LEG*

J: Wait! One more! One more!

M: AW, that looked like it hurt!

J: One more! One more!

Mica: Oh, my God!

*FUCK YOU DAVID S. PUMPKINS*

G: NO!

M: That is impressive, Jeremy.

J: There it is...

M: That is impressive.

*BIP*

*BIP*

*GLACK*

*BIP*

*GLAOW*

*BIP*

J: Look at that pumpkin!

Matt: So, I decided to make my smiley face.

J: Yeah, I gotta make a bit of a mouth.

G: Oh, God... Mica: Oh, my God!

J: Look at that! LOOK AT THAT PUMPKIN!

M: Look at...Look at that Achievement Hunter logo right there... Look at that!

*MATT FINISHES*

J: Hold on, I gotta make him smile....

G: OW!

G: Alright... think of it as- as your wor-...

*SHABANG*

G: ...your worst enemy.

*IT'S NOT VERY EFFECTIVE*

J: Wow. That noise, though... Matt: I broke the bat?

*MISS*

*BLOCK*

*MISS*

*COUNTER*

*MISS*

*DOUBLE MISS*

*PARRY*

*CRITICAL STRIKE*

COMBO X2

COMBO X3

*SUPER COMBO*

*FINISHING BLOW*

G: Alright, ready?

*BINK*

J: Alright! ALRIGHT! M: There it goes!

M: You can't even go around! It's gone!

M: And THAT is why I just brought the broken one, Jeremy...

M: I told you! J: That's barbed wire!

M: I told you it was gonna happen.

J: DAMNIT!

J: I... am the Order.

R: Don't put your finger on top of there, you'll chop it off.

*SHWICK*

M: EXCELLENT!

R: I do feel like we should go get the knives. (Because what else would Ryan say?)

J: Oh, the throwing knives?

*SPLOOSH*

M: Not bad... not bad.

Matt: That'll play... it'll play.

R: Who wants to fling a knife?!

J: I do! Mica: I do!

J: WHA'JU CALL ME?!

*SPLAT*

M: Don't- hey, don't smash the Jack-O-Lantern.

Auctioneer: Step right up, step right up! Who wants to fling a knife? FLING A KNIFE, WIN A PRIZE!

Trevor: Ryan please just- just get it over with...

R: I can't throw knives anymore, I don't think.

*RYAN CAN'T THROW KNIVES ANYMORE*

M: OH! And I think it went right through! R: Right through!

M: Man, I wondered somebody here were gonna fuck that fence up-...

*RYAN FUCKS THAT FENCE UP*

R: Two through!

R: They're gone!!

Jack: I think...

Jack: ...we can put Little J on the wall using duct tape.

T: That's the 10 we're lookin' for.

Jack: 10... Well, it's really 9 and Sco-...

G: Soon, Jeremy will be like this...

*WEEBLES WOBBLE BUT THEY DON'T FALL DOWN*

Jack: Fuckin' Trev-...

G: So, we should probably get some scissors and some stools.

J: Matt, go... Go get the scissors.

G: I like everyone's story of how they got in Achievement Hunter, but yours... I feel bad about because you were a fan of Achievement Hunter.

J: I was...

G: And now, Achievement Hunter is taping you to the Achievement Hunter Wall™.

J: Aw, key thing was, "was."

Jack: We got our first- first roll done.

G: Oh. Matt: Oh, wow.

J: OH NO, It's got chest hair!

*MATING CALL*

T: Oh, that's the Gorilla Tape, too.

J : AGH!

T: Let me cover up that chest hair... J: No, no, no!

*SQUAWK*

J: NO!

J: Listen I know it's gonna be warm and uncomfortable... but I need someone to get in there and get the zipper up a little bit.

Jack: Gavin, that's all you.

*NSFW*

*NSFL*

J: WHO DID THE DICK?!

*SHIELD YOUR EYES, KIDS*

T: Um... whoops!

*MAD SCIENTIST CACKLING*

J: I wanna be decent!

J: Ay! Hey, I want to show you, uh... my new merch that just came out... check it out!

*BROKEN TRAIN WHISTLE*

J: HI!!!

T: Hi, Kat.

G: "Why is he connected to the wall?"

*$100*

T: You hit Burnie!

J: Take that, Elf on the Shelf™!

G: We'll give you a straw in a sec'.

*$19.99*

J: AGH, MY THUMB!

T: Hold your fingers in!

*PRICELESS*

*JACK DYING*

Berry Face: What the FUCK?!

*HYENA ON ACID*

G: Andy, what are your thoughts?

Andy: WOW!

T: You missed it!

J: Alright, ready? Here we go...

J: FAP!

*CHAOS ENSUES*

J: NAH, MY STUFF! AFTER ALL THAT! Why mine?!

A: How many rolls of duct tape is that? G: It was almost 10, I think.

A: ❂.❂

Jack: Does Heroes and Halfwits know this is happening? T: No. Absolutely not.

Jack: Okay... 'cause what we can do is we can like...

Jack: ...put something over him.

T: Yeah, that won't be suspicious...

Jack: Kinda "shittily."

R: So, how long did that take?

*GROUP TEEHEES*

M: That's pretty funny.

R: Well, it's- there's a human in there.

M: Yeah... Yeah, I see that. I see that.

J: Ryan!

R: Jeremy... You alright, buddy? J: Hey!

J: Hey, buddy!

R: What, uh...

T: So, uh, we found your fridge, Ryan.

R: Oh, there it is! J: No worries, it's still right there.

M: Who mentioned that, by the way? Somebody mentioned that like forever ago; doing that. Like, months ago...

Jack: Geoff said he's gonna be here in 20.

T: Twenty minutes... to hang out.

R: Hey, Mica.

M: Jeremy, do you know where the water is? Mica: What the FUCK?

M: She wasn't gonna check.

J: I- I was like, I- if I didn't leave my phone, when you were like, "Did you leave your sunglasses here," I was gonna go... *SWIPE*

Mica: Wwwwwwhhhyyyyyyyy?

M: We just came in and he was up there.

Jack: Door, door, door! J: Door, door, door!

M: Waiting for Geoff.

M: Praying to God, that- Geoff Ramsay walks in the door, there he is!

M: There it is. Geoff has now noticed.

M: Where Jeremy i- J: Hey, Geoff!

Geoff: Alright...

M: I didn't notice it either, to be fair.

M: Alright, Jack's gonna cut you down.

Jack: No, no, no, he- he's gonna try to get it on his own, first.

*PLOP*

Jack: That was amazing!

T: Look at 'im! Look at 'im!

T: He's comin' for us!

M: That's a fuckin' Halloween costume, man.

Jack: That was so perfect.

M: You look like- you look like a character from Paper Mario... You're in fuckin' two dimensions.

Matt: He's gonna like fold up and fly away.

*WEEBLE FALLS DOWN*

M: There he goes.

G: Wow. We didn't even rip the wall.

G: There we go.

G: Michael's found his new favorite toy.

M: Oh, dude if we film a Let's Watch... Jack: Oh, there's your jacket on the floor.

Jack: I can see it.

M: Where? Oh, down there.

G: You're gonna have to do a little man to get it. Jack: Good luck.

Jack: Ayy! J: Wow!

Jack: Impressive, sir!

*NOT SO IMPRESSIVE*

M: Who put that Kino there?

G: Oh! Jack: Oh!

G: Give it a little nudge and see if it- the momentum keeps... Oh, dude, we should just take it outside on the-

G: Yes!

M: You wanna know how to drift?

G: Dude...

M: HO-LY SHIT!

M: STOP!

*BOOP*

M: Don't drink and drive... But do: Drink and ride!

*ANGRY SEGWAY BEEPING*

M: Shut up, you don't know what you're doing!

M: Come on.

*BIFF*

G: Oh... oh, dear.

*ULTIMATE SPEED*

*IF YOU AIN'T OUTTA CONTROL, YOU AIN'T IN CONTROL*

M: AAAAAAGH!

G: Oh, my God.

M: It can't do it, it's not strong enough.

M: I guess I'll have to walk.

*TOSS* (Not the British kind.)

M: What a fucking thief!

M: I also turned the lights on too so he wastes electricity.

M: Push your fucking chair in, come on!

M: So I'd like- I'm glad everyone joined us here.

*SQUEEK*

M: Hang on... Hang- let's... wait.

M: Oh... God.

M: OH, GOOOOOD!

*SMASH*

G: Did you do that?

*SHRUG*

M: Aww!

M: Ow...

M: DRIFT!

*CRUNCH*

M: I hope they didn't need that stuff.

G: Oh, my God, what was in there?

M: DRIFT!

G: Michael, every video needs a Grand Finale...

G: ...and, uh, we don't know what this is, but it looks like a ramp.

M: We have no idea what this is. It's just like a table... That certainly... certainly should not be fucked with this- in this manner.

Gus: Better than I expected.

Gus: WAIT, I'm not here!

M: Gus, no!

G: That was an amazing Grand Finale!

Gus: I didn't realize that the whole table... tilted like that.

G: Yeah...

G: It was a part of the uh... part of the trick.

Gus: That's cool.

Gus: Victory lap. Well deserved. I would say get back to work, but you are working.

G: Yeah.

M: DAH DAH DAH DANAAAAH! DAT DANAAH NANAT!

Lindsay: Hi, can I get, uh, three Big Mac meals? Then can I get five Mac Juniors? Then THREE Big Macs. And then one Grand Mac. And then can I get a 20-piece nug?

M: I've never had so much McDonald's in my lap at once in the car. They weren't fucking around, right?

M: They had no idea. You're gonna need two hands. I'm gonna need more than that.

M: So now, opening this... Geoff: That's not a great lookin' patty.

M: No, you just shut up and eat it. Don't take it apart and look at it, okay? That's- you're doing McDonald's wrong.

J: Okay, so there... M: So, that's the top. R: Okay. Flip it.

J: Flip it. That's off. Ryan: Flip it and stick it.

R: Look at all that!

G: Oh, careful!

R: Oooo, we're already pretty tall. J: Okay, so that is... HALF.

R: You wanna- you wanna... skewer the... initial part?

G: We might need a temporary skewer.

R: I'm not gonna touch, but... there it is. J: Yeah, yeah. M: Yeah, skew' it.

R: There we go.

M: Alright, that's half of what's going in the Grand Mac!

R: No, the Monster Mac!

M: The Monster Mac! J: The Monster Mac!

M: Well, it's going in the Grand Mac to CREATE the Monster Mac.

R: You gotta flip it, Michael.

J: For it to be upside-down? R: Yeh, there ya' go.

R: Oooooh!

R: Oooooo! J: Ho! Get the bottom one on!

Geoff: Oh, goodness. M: Hang on, hang on, hang on. R: Stab that bitch!

M: We got it. R: There's no flipping it at this point. J: There's no- we gotta skewer it from the bottom.

R: It's just a- it's a Grand Mac down under.

R: All the way. Geoff: It's a... a Monster Mac. M: Send it through. Send it through.

R: Slam it down. M: 'Til we hit table.

J: We're hittin' it. We're hittin' table. M: That's it!

G: That's the Monster Mac!

M: That's the- that's the upside-down Monster Mac. J: Oh, my-! R: You can just flip it.

G: How much of this can you eat?

M: Probably about at least one or two bites.

*MUNCH*

R: There we go. J: Oh, yeah, get in there, pal.

Geoff: How's it taste?

M: Dude, it's good, actually.

M: I mean, it's- it's a Big Mac... how many times over?

*SQUISH*

M: We're losin' it. We're losin' a little bit of the bottom bun, there. G: That's fine. We're losin' it either way.

M: I'm afraid I'm gonna stab myself in the eye, you know what I mean? Like...

M: I want the bun, I don't want the skewer.

M: You got it?

J: Ready? Here I'll- let me get in there.

*MUSH*

M: Dude, we're on a date.

*DUO CHOMP*

M: Move over, Lady and the Tramp.

J: Wow, that is... tasty.

M: It's good, man!

J: I thought- I thought that was gonna be horrific.

M: I think that's about all I can stomach.

J: Ryan, get in the bottom.

M: Bottom- bottom's free.

*OMNOMNOM*

M: Oh, my God, he almost bit my finger. I swear to God! It was so close; I had- I went like *WHOOP*.

Geoff: We'll have a new video, "Ryan bit my finger."

M: He came after it, hard, man.

M: I'm not gonna eat that extra Big Mac, I've decided...

M: I really don't-... I don't-... I-... I don't want it anymore. G: It was optimistic.

M: I don't want it anymore.

T: Hey, everyone, Trevor here...

...and Saint Patrick's Day is right around the corner; the holiday where young people go out wearing green, pinching strangers and getting totally shit-faced.

Well, we thought we'd take a couple of these elements and smash them all together in typical Achievement Hunter fashion to create a new Saint Patrick's Day tradition...

The Slamrock Shake.

T: Let me show you the secret ingredient; the pièce de résistance; the, "Mmm, baby, that tastes good."

T: Lil' Jameson.

T: You guys have your- you got- you guys have your glasses?

R: Did you just go in a say give me everything with-... M: What are you doing?!

T: Alrighty, there's one... then we get a little but of each. J: Why?

R: That's... there's not- clearly not enough volume in that bowl.

T: That's e- Ryan, I didn't think about it, okay?

M: I wasn't really concerned about the volume, it's the fact that it doesn't look like a liquid.

T: It's uh... It's an appetizing BROWN and green color. R: I don't think those are homogenized enough.

M: BROWN?!

T: BROWN!

M: It's BROWN. T: It's BROWN.

R: You didn't even leave room for the alcohol.

M: Oh, come on! Don't do that!

T: You sizzled me a little bit.

M: Come on, why'd you put Red Bull in there? You just ruined the whole god-damn thing.

R: Why is there- you put Red Bull in it? J: I wanna make sure we wake ourselves up a little.

M: I'm gonna take the non-Red Bull one.

Jack: Yeah, where's a non-Red Bull one? J: Right here.

M: This is Last Call Jack right here... This is Last Call Jack is what Ryan is doing right now...

*TREVOR PREPARES FOR IMPENDING DOOM*

T: That's actually not bad. M: That's actually - you've made a delicious drink.

Jack: Are we toasting? Before- oh, did you guys already drink?

*TOAST*

Jack: Here's to Trevor's... dumb name.

M: It's like, "Oh, I made a delicious, minty drink... That I can't taste the alcohol in any way."

J: I'm goin' in. T: You're goin' in?!

T: Alright. Alright, here we go.

M: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, don't- don't- don't fuck up the YouTube jacket.

M: That's fine. T: Alright. Bob for shamrocks.

J: There's somethin' in there and I want it.

M: Well, there's definitely ice.

Lindsay: 3!...

J: I don't know what you're counting down to.

Lindsay: FUCKIN' DRINK!

*JAB*

Jack: Ooooh! R: Awww! M: Oh, my GOD!

L: It's green and green, look at that!

M: It's so THICK!

M: He's- I can see him strawing it, he's just-...

M: Alright, Jeremy, that's amazing. That's possibly the thumbnail. J: I drank... SO MUCH of that.

M: I just saw you-... R: It's WAY lower.

M: He was breathing like a fish, just goin': *FISH IMPRESSION*

Jack: Alright Michael... M: I can't let Jeremy best me like that...

Jack: AW! Show Shifty that.

T: Hey, it's a face!

T: There's hair in it and stuff, too.

T: Here you go. J: Go ahead, Michael! It's fun!

T: "It's fun." R: Is it refreshing? J: It's SUPER refreshing.

M: GET SLAAAAAAMED!

M: YEAAAH!

M: Did you get that one, Larry?

M: GET SLAAAAAAMED!

M: Welcome to McDonald's! You thought the Monster Mac was the beg- it's the END?! It's the beginning!

J: You can't have it your way! M: The beginning of the end!

M: You can't take the Shamrock from me, it's mine!

Jack: "Potentially insane man..."

T: He's back to hiding in the bowl.

T: I don't know what I expected. M: Get outta here!

Lindsay: He's gonna bring this home. T: This tastes a lot better than I expected...

M: I'll tell ya' what, though... I did forget how much alcohol was in there and I'm-...

...I just got a little fucked up. T: Can you feel it? M: Yeah.

T: Well, there you have it... The Slamrock Shake... I guess the slam ended up being people slamming their faces into it, so...

R: That's why it smells like matches, yeah... T: So... make it at home for yourselves.

T: So, Larry is our uh, our resident Lead Editor here at Achievement Hunter.

Matt: Allegedly.

T: He's... earned a lot of Loot Boxes.

Matt: Fuckin'... You know what I hate about him? Never opened one.

T: But, we figured we'd help him out... uh, open up his little Loot Boxes and see what he's got inside.

Matt: He's gonna LOVE IT.

Larry: Hey, Matt Bragg, what's up?

Matt: Hey, so uh... you know that whole thing I did yesterday where it looked like I opened your loot boxes?

Larry: Yeah, where you were an asshole and ate- like ate all of my loo- looties? Yeah.

Matt: I did Photoshop it. T: We- yeah, it was just a Photoshop, it was ju- it was just a prank, bro.

Larry: Okay.

Matt: That's really all I wanted to tell you... just kinda, you know...

T: Alright, that's all we need from Larry. Um...

T: What do you say we open his Loot Boxes, now? Matt: Absolutely, let's do that right now.

Matt: His very first ever. Let's fucking do it.

Matt: What's his first loot box?

Matt: Ooooo! T: Ooh! Bad Luck Larry.

Matt: Oh, but hey! All new items, as it turns out. All new; no dupes there.

Matt: Oh, oh, oh, oh! Legendary! T: Ooo, Larry! Your first yellow!

T: You don't even play him. Matt: Yeah, I know! But, I mean, you got 'im!

Matt: Put a mark on the board! He got a... Pirate Torby.

T: That's two.

Matt: This is Kent's FIRST loot box... Kent: First one.

Matt: Let's see- Oh! He got a purple. Kent: I got a purple!

Andy: What have I done?

Matt: Alright, alright.

Matt: Oh... that's still okay! Andy: Oooh.

Matt: Oh, you got a purple! You're pretty good.

Matt: Uhp! Got a legendary... You wanna mark that... real quick. The last- this is the last loot box.

T: Not even thinkin' about it, Larry. That's how little it means to me.

Matt: Fuckin' done.

*BUSTED*

Larry: 'Sup, fucker!

Larry: So let's find out... disconnected.

Matt: Oh, you're disconnected?

*MATT GOES HAHAHAHA*

Larry: How am I supposed to find out?!

Larry: We'll be performing scheduled maintenance beginning on Tuesday, May 2nd at 7:00 a.m...

...and it's gonna go to approximately 10 or 9 Pacific, which is 11-...

Larry: I LITERALLY CAN'T FIND OUT FOR ANOTHER HOUR!

Larry: THAT IS NOT 214; THAT IS VERY MUCH 6!

Larry: Matt Bragg, wha'd'ya do?!

Matt: Turn around real quick. Turn around. Look at the board. Larry: What?

Matt: "Larry's Yellows." Right there. Larry: Wha-... what?!

Matt: So that's all the legendaries you got. That's 20. Larry: What?!

T: You were very valuable at uh-, in-, for statistical purposes.

Larry: You stared at me the whole ti- it's been there the whole- I didn't even... I was-...

Larry: I don't like you... I don't like you...

Andy: WHYYY?!

Larry: I don't like you...

T: I'll FIRE you.

Larry: Oh, sh-... Duly noted.

Matt: You may not have all those loot boxes... But I know what you do have, now...

Larry: What do I have?

Matt: A video to edit.

Larry: I'm not editing that; go FUCK yourself!

Larry: Fuck yo-...

G: Flinchless Kickie-Doo, where someone stands up that end and punts it as hard as they can, and no one is allowed to flinch.

*PUNT*

*EVERYONE FLINCHES*

J: Oh, my God, that scared the shit outta me!

G: That's really hard not to flinch. Alright. Jeremy's up.

*HOMING ATTACK*

Matt: OH! Shit!

*DOUBLE TAP*

Matt: Ow! Why?! Why are you aiming at me?! T: Same spot.

*TRIPLE THREAT*

Matt: Ow! Gavin!!

*FINAL STRIKE*

Matt: GOD DAMNIT!

*NEVERMIND*

Matt: God-! J: I can't help it!

*MAKE IT STOP*

Matt: GOD!

*R.I.P.*

Matt: GOD!!!

T: I-... I definitely dodged it.

*SNIPED YA'*

G: WOH-HAA!

G: WOH-HAA! (In Slow-Mo)

T: I think I gave him a heart attack. HWOH!

*BOP*

Jack: HOLY SHIET!

*ROCK 'EM*

T: Did you hit 'im?!

*SOCK 'EM*

*SLOW-MO BOP*

T: I just kinda leaned back, like...

*COME ON AND-*

*SLAM*

*JAM*

*DAMN*

*JACK.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING*

T: It was such a noise!

Matt: I felt that-...

T: His no- his nose! It's like flattened to his face! Matt: I felt that behind me.

Jack: It like skips off his mouth... J: BAM!

G: It like JFK'd my head.

Geoff: We're gonna test this out. See how sharp this guy is. Alright, ready?

M: Yeah.

M: Not good. G: Oh!

M: That was better... G: Oh! That wasn't bad. Okay, so...

G: Alright, Michael.

*COMPLETELY WIFFED*

M: Just... completely wiffed.

G: Completely missed, that's a- that's a redo.

*DIDN'T GET IT*

M: Just can't get it.

G: You'll get it, you'll get it.

*SLICE*

M: There we go! G: OH!

G: Amazing... M: That was-... that was good, that was good.

Jack: Alright, ready? Geoff: Mmm-hmm.

Jack: Ooooooooh! Geoff: Oooooooh! M: Wow!

*FRUITALITY*

M: Oh, my God, Gavin... Oh, my God.

M: We're gonna need a zoom and enhance on that one, because that was fucking incredible. Geoff: Ho-ly shit!

M: Gavin... well done. G: WOW! It wasn't 50/50, but the- I- you know, I hit it.

M: Still. Still. R: That's impressive.

Geoff: Where do ya' go from here?

M: You go to the credits.

G: This one's for New Zealand.

G: Oooooh! Geoff: Ayy!! Jack: Ayy!!

J: Ya' ready?!

M: That... was like, that's a lot of fire. J: That's a lot of fire.

M: Oh, yeah, this is not great in there!

*COUGHING*

Jack: Yeah, he's out. He's outta the room.

R: It's still smokin'. Jack: Jeremy, go in there and put your face up against the window.

R: Uh... Uhp! There he is, there he is!

Jack: He just appeared.

Lindsay: Like a terrorist.

M: Get the World Series tickets, Jeremy! The bug bomb bastards took 'em!

Jack: Oh, he's leaving. He's out.

Matt: The mask probably didn't make breathing easier.

J: Someone sent us like 20 smoke grenades.

M: I gotta turn the webcam off!

*ANDY CAN'T BREATH*

*BREACH AND CLEAR*

Geoff: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Geoff: Poor Ashley...

Geoff: OOOOOH SHIT!

M: That's why I didn't give it to you.

*MUFFLED SCREAMING*

Jack: Yeah, it's, uh, it's legit.

Geoff: What are we- is y- are we puttin' this out?

J: Yes.

Geoff: This a video?

M: Absolutely, yeah.

*SOMETHING USELESS FALLS OFF OF THE WALL*

G: AAAAAOUH!

M: What is- what is falling from the ceiling?

J: Dr. Pepper-...

*FUMBLE*

*EXPLOSION*

M: Je-sus.

G: It was like an explosion!

M: Did you hit yourself in the face at one point?

M: It's- it's not on the floor, yet! We're at like, around 12, or so?

M: JESUS CHRIST!

M: You suck.

*PING*

T: Holy shit!

Jack: That is full! That was full and landed right on the computer.

M: Oh, did it spill? Jack: Oh, yeah, a little bit.

M: Oh, it's pretty good, here let me mo-... J: Oh, it's MY Alienware!

M: Well, yeah. M-mi-mine's over there, man.

J: Ooo, that's a hefty amount of water. M: It's down there.

Jack: Nah, that's probably soda of some nature.

Jack: Here ya' go.

G: OOOOUH, MINE!

*HEADBUTT*

M: Oh, my God!

*BIPPITY*

*BOPPITY*

M: (Slow-Mo) Oh, my God!

M: Dude, did you guys both headbutt it?

Andy: Alright, last one. J: One!

J: AAGH, two!

J: Two, GAH, three!

J: It hasn't touched floor!!

Andy: There we go!

M: What is happening?! *TIMBER*

T: God damnit!! God damnit!

Jack: That had to be 10, right? That had to be 10.

G: Was that it? Was that 10?

J: Are you okay?!

J: ARE YOU OKAY?!

T: You did the other- you preffered the ball! J: I'M SORRY!

T: This is the microphone!

G: We knocked the camera over. Uh... we didn't get to 25.

Jack: I don't think-... I also rolled my ankle, too. We might get that on footage.

J: So, we have... bags and bags of marshmallows here... and then a really shit ball microwave.

J: I think we might have reached the... apex of melting.

J: Oh, God...

*SPLAT*

G: Oh, man.

G: It looks... really satisfying, actually.

J: OW, when you like squeeze it, it activates and gets really hot!

J: Want some?

J: Andy...

J: No, Andy! It's- you don't know how long that's been in a microwave, dude!

J: It's really fun, actually.

J: Like, look at that consistency!

J: I want that paper clip.

*SLAP*

R: I don't - I don't think you got it.

R: It's uh...

Gus: Is he making pizza?

R: That's, uh-... that's some science involved, here. Uh, the base ingredient appears to be... stupidity and marshmallow.

J: NANANANANA-NA-NANA... Spider-Man!

*THWIP*

R: Also, THIS one's our building, so [inaudible] THAT way. G: Oh, yeah...

G: You didn't climb Stage 4, you climbed Stage 3.

M: You're not gonna want that jacket, man.

G: Feel the-... feel the heat.

J: UGH!

G: Just like Boston, right? J: Yeah.

*NOPE*

*TRY AGAIN*

M: Hit the ground. G: OOUGH!

*CLOSE*

G: It was close! Clos-ER.

G: OH! Almost! Almost. M: It was close!

M: URRGH!

J: OH! Nailed it!

J: Okay, but- no, no, no, dangerous area, Michael!

G: Alright, be careful when you pull it; pull it slowly.

M: I think I got it.

G: Good enough to climb?

J: Ladies and Gentlemen... there is some sort of Stormtrooper attempting to infiltrate... Stage 5.

G: Man, it's actually properly anchored on there.

J: I can see the gutter bending, but... I don't think that's where it's actually anchored to.

M: Right? Like, it can't be done.

M: I've already got black and blues on my hands.

G: Alright, we'll have to continue- oh, dear!

M: Alright, so, that's a stopping point; here's what we'll do...

J: We'll leave this here... M: Tie it off.

J: That way the building won't go anywhere. G: Yeah. M: To be safe.

G: We basically just made the building more secure. J: *PUTS ON SUNGLASSES* Yeah.

M: I ran into John Mace yesterday, and he went, "Cool, how about the two holes in the roof from the grappling hook last week?" ...and I was like, "THAT was me."

*TWANG*

G: OH!

G: It wasn't graceful... by any means, but it's up there.

M: What a sound.

G: I think I shouldn't be- Ooh! What're these?

M: That- you're getting distracted! Okay? Focus on the grappling hook.

M: You can't combine bouncy balls with grappling hook, yet.

G: Now, correcting the hook with a-... Ayy!

M: Fucking... Christ.

G: That was close.

M: Throwing rubber mallets at a grappling hook stuck in the ceiling.

Jack: Well, the- it's how you're supposed to get it down, I'm pretty sure it was in the uh, manual.

G: Oh, so close! You're gettin' really... really close.

G: OH, AMAZING! M: Perfect. Perfect.

Jack: See, that's how we're supposed to get a grappling hook.

*BANG*

M: IIIIIIIIIT'S TREVOR!

Jack: Oh, you almost got two hooks! If you get two hooks on there, that's it. That's Game Over. T: Got it!

*COLLECTIVE YELLING*

M: BIP BUP BAP BAH BIP BAP!

T: There we go! Jack: It's exactly how it was before.

M: Jesus Christ. I saw it undoing, and I- my life almost ended.

R: About what I expect. M: We're good, we're good. It's just Ryan. Jack: It's okay.

R: Go!

J: Mine went right through the top, there!

M: Fucking hell.

M: Jeremy's got a little spear!

Jack: Hey, nice!

T: You're gonna throw that?! Jack: I'm gonna try. J: No!- Oh, that? Yeah. He's gonna throw that.

*SAMURAI JACK*

Jack: OOOOH! YES!

Jack: It works!... And no one got hurt.

G: Use your meat. T: That's just gonna punch me!

G: But, you're in complete control.

*SNAP*

Jack: There ya' go! See?

T: It wasn't a punch, but it was, uh, a just, like...

G: That was wicked!

T: Do we have more? G: Yeah.

T: Go ahead and stick your hands in there.

T: How am I-? You're gonna have to tighten it... on yourself.

*QUACK*

G: OOOWW!

Geoff: Maybe it wasn't tight enough? G: Oh, shit!

T: Okay, what are you doing? You don't need that.

Geoff: Just, fuckin'... do it the right way, dumbass.

R: Look, you just- you get-... T: You're gonna hurt yourself that way.

Jack: Well, this is how Gavin slits both of his wrists in one go.

R: It's uh, it's an interesting strategy.

T: The face of a boy, lost in-...

G: I need fire.

T: You need FIRE?

R: No, you DON'T need fire!

Lindsay: This is gonna hurt my thumb, but I'll do it for you. Ahh, okay... Ready?

T: Don't hurt yourself, Lindsay!

Lindsay: Hold! Hold! Hold! I can hold longer... Uhp, I'm done!

T: It was all in the s- you were just- it was all in the strength.

T: It's gotta be tight. It's gonna be a little uncomfortable.

R: 'Kay.

T: The thing... So you-...

*RYAN DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK*

T: ...Or that.

T: It flew back and hit him right in the penis.

G: Alright, here we go. T: Yeah.

*PFFFT*

G: AHAHAHHAHOOOW!

T: Break out. Andy: Pop' em out and try to break out of it.

T: You gotta break out!

Andy: God, look at that... Ya' hands! T: Nice!

G: See, it cut me, like, I gave it the beans.

T: Woah!

T: Okay.

T: I gotta go to work, guys!

T: Oh, my God... I need a break.

T: Ouch!

T: Gavin, this has to end!

G: Just type one e-mail.

*TYPE*

*SEND*

T: Oops.

G: I think you just printed it.

T: It's time to break free.

G: Oh! You made it. Well done, Trey'cs.

T: Hoooh, God! Well... that was- you got an e-mail. G: Good effort.

R: Wow.

T: The camera!

J: Little off... M: Little far... It was a little far.

*NOPE*

R: Welp.

G: How did you do THAT? You moved the hole!

G: Now there's a black cock pokin' out of the ceiling.

J: Oh, no! M: It's-

M: Throw it up straight!

*POW*

J: AAAAAGH!

M: And there it goes!

M: *PRICE IS RIGHT FAIL HORN*

J: I got a real good cut in right there.

J: I think if I shake it hard enough, it might just SPLIT in half.

*INDESCRIBABLE DILDO NOISES*

G: Oh! There it is.

J: God!

*NOW THEY'RE THROWING A DILDO AT THE WALL*

*BANGING AND CRASHING*

J: It's still working.

T: -Go up-and-ov'-and-upsie-daisy!

*CRACK*

G: OH! R: Oooooooooo, Trevor!

Jack: Why would you do it again?!

T: So... G: [Inaudible], watch out!

T: Oh!

G: Oh, shit!

M: Sounds like something's happening behind me.

T: Jeremy's in the trash bin.

J: By the way... I would like to point out that... almost all of my weight is on my Adam's Apple.

T: Use your hands, get your hands up there. M: Get your fuckin' throat off of there, man.

J: I can't! I can't it's gonna break!

M: This thing is gonna rip to shreds.

J: Watch out, Gavin! T: Watch out, Gavin!

J: The speed!

J: Oh, God, please-...

G: Don't kill 'im!

*WOOHOO*

T: How's your Apple? M: I went for the shoulder just so he didn't fall out. G: "How's your Apple?"

T: Oh, no, he's comin' after me!

J: Yeeeeaaaaaah.

M: Dude...

T: *♪ PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN THEME ♪*

T: ♪ Now we're sideways. ♪

T: *♪ PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN THEME ♪*

J: ARRR! Down the grass!

Lindsay: Oh, yeah? We're goin'? M: Alright... you want it! J: ARRR! T: I'm gonna break somethin'!

J: ARRR, MATEY! TO VICTORY-!

*SHIPWRECK*

M: That looked... so painful.

T: To victory-...

M: There was no bounce...

Burnie: To Stage 2, Jeeves.

G: Watch the speed bump.

B: The good news is, it's comfortable... that's the best- PART!

B: God damnit!

B: I went to college. I'm just gonna point that out. I just-... I got an education. Lindsay: Yeah, you did.

B: I have marketable skills, Trevor. I don't need to put up with this, right?

B: Alright, well that was great; five stars.

Chris: I'm goin' up those stairs.

T: Oh, okay! M: Are you, really?

B: Hit the stairs, buddy!

J: FUCK! FUCK!

T: Are you okay? G: Are you alright?

T: Oh, my neck! Did you feel that in your neck, too?

G: Jeremy, you ready? J: Mmm-hmm.

G: Jeremy, thoughts?

J: Uh... there's holes... in this.

M: Some in your mouth?

J: Uh, huh.

M: One word. Jack: One word.

Lindsay: Flint. Jack: Flint... steel.

M: Burns? It burns! It's burning your face. Gotcha.

M: Jeremy... Do you want me to pour some Moonshine down one of the straws?

J: Mmm-hmm.

G: He said, "Yes."

M: Okay, ready Jeremy? I'm dribblin' it in.

M: And... here it comes.

J: Mmmmmmm.

J: *MUFFLED AYYYOO*

Lindsay: It smells so bad. Andy: ...God.

J: AGH, IT'S SO BRIGHT!

G: Well, it's gonna get the moisture out.

M: Don't burn his face, that's already happening.

M: Yes, it's- it's sagging. Gravity is takin' it. T: You look like a homeless clown.

Lindsay: What if we do this?... You guys push real quick, and I'll hairspray him, like all over the face, so we try and like, stick- yeah, yeah. G: Oh, like a lacquer, like, to seal it.

M: That might actually work. G: Okay.

Lindsay: Three... Two... One!

Lindsay: Hold, Jeremy, hold! Come on!

M: Dude, this is gonna fuckin' fuse to the table.

J: Alright. G: Alright. Our work is done.

G: Still very moist.

J: Let's see what happens.

*CHAPOW*

M: Well, you fucked that one up.

*WALLOP*

M: I'm so glad I had my hand there. For some reason I knew it was gonna hit my desk.

G: Alright, Michael, your turn.

*PUNT*

*BOUNCE*

G: OH! T: That was so close!

G: Did that go up there, almost? M: It hit the one right next to it.

*KICK*

*WHAM*

*DISASTER*

T: It like, bounced-... Jack: So, you're try- you're trying to hit from over there, into there? M: Tell ya' what, we're giving the ceiling a good old-fashioned shake-up.

T: Over here, into the hole.

*PAP*

Jack: Aww, damn!

*CRUSH*

T: Ooo! M: Ooo! A sizeable hit.

T: That's where all the glass is. M: But, a very cool rock.

*BAP*

*FUCK YOU, CHINA*

M: HOLY SHIT!

Jack: YES!

M: There it goes... In one fell swoop.

Jack: I left the light! I've yet to shatter a light! M: It's not broken, yet!

J: Wait, where's the pink one?

*SMACK*

*WHACK*

M: Not bad. Not bad.

G: Alright, I'll have a go.

*I'M RUNNING OUT OF ONOMATOPOEIA*

T: Goodness. Jack: It's still up!

*THWAP*

*TAP*

*PLAP*

M: Hoh! Caught it! G: Well, now you gotta go again.

*NAH*

M: Damnit!

M: So bad.

G: Alright, we'll- we'll have a lightning round; kick from where you catch it!

*BOOT*

M: AGH, I hit the same fuckin'- I popped it back into place! I hit the one I hit before. T: You fixed it! You fixed it!

J: 'Atta-boy!

*OH, BOY*

M: NOO! THE [CUP?]!

J: You got it, Geoff! Jack: IN THE HOLE!

J: Nailed it!

M: AAAAW, I-...

M: I JUST fixed that!!

*JACK BREAKING AGAIN*

T: GEOFF!!

M: Geoff's- Geoff- Trevor-... Trevor's gonna have a word with you about tearin' this place up.

*BOOSH*

M: It was... really soft.

*ABSOLUTE CORKER*

T: OH!! God damn... M: OH!!

J: Alright... Bounce Castle. M: Jesus Christ, don't rip it before we blow it up, first.

J: Ow!

Jack: Ayy! Come on, Geoffrey! R: Geoff? Come on! M: Come on, Geoff!

*THIS IS A PROFESSIONAL WORKPLACE*

G: Should we get the support room in?

Geoff: Yeah.

G: Count of three! One, two, three! HIT IT!

*TO BE FAIR, THIS TOY -IS- INTENDED FOR CHILDREN*

G: Uhp! Are you kidding- J: BOUNCY CASTLE!

*DEAD*

M: Yeah, he hit the floor.

G: Back to work...

G: So, now we're gonna try and hang the bouncy castle J: Alright.

G: UHP! J: Ugh.

R: Uh... Uh...

G: HUUUHPS!

R: There it is, that's what it needed. G: Oh! There it is.

M: You know what, Gavin? That was the throw of a mastermind. R: It needed you to stop believing.

R: Yeah, alright, pull it. Jack: Okay. You good?

T: Alright, who wants to be the-... the test mouse?

M: It's screaming. Yeah. J: I'll do it.

J: Oh, another great day at work! Are those PayDays?!

J: 'Cause those are my favorite.

M: GOTCHA, BITCH! WE GOTCHU! WE GOTCHU!

Jack: Alright, here we go.

T: His legs are flailing, I think he's trapped.

J: It's like he got- like a guillotine!

G: That's really scary. M: Alright...

M: Just go get that footage. J: Yeah.

J: Alright, now... Hey, look down here. Alright, so it's on that 'X' right there.

T: Not this one, just-... Yeah. J: The red 'X'.

J: Just get- it's right over there. T: It's actually underneath.

Neal: Okay.

J: Go get that red 'X', there.

T: Don't look around! It's right over there, we told you where it was. J: The footage is right on it.

J: It's right on it.

T: I got him!

Steven: Oh, I see it completely, now! Cib: Oh, I see it!

J: Jack threw that up there.

Jack: We got a double!

T: We caught 'em! We caught 'em, right in the hole!

G: That was- I never thought that would actually work!

B: Achievement Hunter put out a rap battle... that was wildly popular.

B: However, Gavin Free thought he could improve on the lyrics... and so, he has modified... the list of lyrics, and now Jeremy's gonna attempt to rap it, on the fly.

J: God!

B: Nailed it.

J: (When I HAPHAPHA-in a year, what you TAPTAPPED in eight!)

M: You know what I like? You know what I like?

M: Burnie walked in... 20 seconds before we shot that video... and he gave the intro like he planned the thing.

J: Rapping is hard, man. Look at my hands.

M: Oh, my God. That's from rapping? G: You shaking from the rapping?

J: Yeah, it's just 'cause you just... go!

T: So, we're gonna go get some zip tie- some bigger zip tie- Gavin, you did a lot of homework.

G: And uh, what are we using it for?

T: Well, you need length, so they can get around body parts... and walls.

J: Wo-hoah! John! S- fancy runnin' into you here!

J: Hey, listen, um... I just wanna say...

J: Sorry for everything. Alright, you know what? It's been a good talk.

G: Oh, Jeremy, go for a dive!

*DIVE*

G: That was nice.

T: Oh, no.

*FLOP*

G: You got so much air!

*SICK FLIP*

T: He flops like a dolphin.

*COWABUNGA*

G: Like a fly on a windscreen.

T: Anyway, moving on.

J: Zip ties. T: Yep.

T: Oh, God.

J: We're still gonna need two.

T: Oh, God, my blood flows-... look at it! G: Alright, cut that one-... cut that one off, we'll start again. J: Alright, let's cut that one off.

T: Where's the emergency scissors?

J: Got it! T: Oh, no...

J: Hold still. T: Oh, God, it hurts!

J: Don't flex it off! T: I'm- well, most- OW!

J: Just, stay! T: Oh, my God.

T: There's an artery there. M: He's sawing with a knife...

G: ...Towards him. J: Yeah, he's fine.

T: Christ!

M: This is the death of Trevor... J: Jack, you wanna help?

Jack: Obviously. M: ...Just so you know.

T: Oh, God, Jack, that's tight. Why?!

Jack: You don't wanna fall.

T: Well... good point. M: Uh, he's tryin' to keep you safe.

T: God... no! J: No, no! M: That's... fucked up.

*THIS SHOULD BE ILLEGAL*

M: I was joking, I was gonna do this... but... I won't actually.

J: There ya' go! T: I'm gonna fuckin' die.

Lindsay: Alright, tell me when. I'm only following instructions.

J: Ready? Three, two, one! T: Just- just-... why don't you just pivot?!

T: Oh, shit-digs!

Lindsay: It's working, it's working!

Jack: No, no, no, move it, Michael, move it!

M: Alright, ready? T: Oh, my God, my arms.

G: Alright, move the couch away so we got a clean shot.

M: Do you see how much shit we have under the couch?!

Lindsay: Yeah, where the fuck is this gonna go?

Jack: Lift it upright! Lindsay: God damnit!

G: What's all that?! M: ...Like 10 of these!

*VICTORY FANFARE*

G: Alright, should we get people from the other room to come in and check?

Larry: Oooooo... fuck. T: Hey, guys. Just hangin' out.

G: Trevor, try and get yourself down.

J: He's gonna rip his upper body off and be fucked.

M: Jesus Christ. T: It's not goin'.

T: Looks a lot worse than it is. G: OH!

J: Oh! Matt: God, dude.

*CHEST BUMP*

Lindsay: Wow. J: That was somethin'.

J: There ya' go, pal.

T: Look at that tension!

J: Well, that's important fo- OH, SHIT! *POP*

Jack: Alright, that's Game Over.

J: Alright, Trevor, come on! Bust your chest out!

J: There ya' go! M: There it is.

G: He's a free man. T: It's still got my chest.

G: Well done, team... Well done, Trey'cs. T: Ow.

T: I got bruises all over.

Geoff: Somebody sent us 500 bouncy balls... Uh... which was a good start. So I, the other day, bought another 2,500.

Geoff: What could we do with 2,500 bouncy balls, all at once? And then it hit me... we could- we could raise them to the ceiling... and then dump them all at once and see what happens.

Geoff: I posted a picture that said, "2,500 reasons to come to work Monday," and everybody thought they were gumballs.

J: Alright, you ready, Alfredo? Alfredo: (Nervously) Yeah.

J: Three, two, one! DROP!

G: Oh, my GOD, ali-!

J: Ho-ly shit!

Geoff: That was less damaging than I thought. T: That was not as bouncy as I would have expected.

R: Yeah.

Geoff: It's 'cause they all de-bounced each other.

Matt: There's still some up there. J: Oh, man!

R: Ready? Here we go. T: Yep! J: Yeah.

J: Oh, my God! Oh, my Go-...

J: Get under it, Ryan!

T: Ow...

Alfredo: AAGH SHIT!

Alfredo: Agh!!

T: It's actually-... Like, it's like- yeah, a terrible hailstorm!

R: Take it up, take it up! We still got more to go!

T: OW!

T: It's like the weirdest massage, ever.

J: Oh, Michael's desk got it bad.

*ROLIE POLIE*

G: It's like Home Alone.

T: Hold on, can- do we have any boards-...

T: Do we have any boards that we can just, like skate on-... G: Oh, yeah!

*SILVER SURFER POSE*

R: Nice recovery.

J: Oh, shit!

J: It did actually kinda work.

Geoff: COWABUNGAAAAA-!

*GROUND POUND*

Geoff: My coccyx!

Geoff: On you mark, get set, go!

J: OH, SHIT!

Geoff: Jesus Christ!

G: Heads up!

*SHWING*

G: That works pretty well.

G: You may remember: "Flinchless Kickie-Doo." Absolute... stonking success.

*FLASHBACKS*

G: This is, "Flinchless Bouncy-Doo."

G: Try not to flinch as always.

Jack: I got both of 'em.

G: DAGH!

*WHOOPS*

J: Nailed the screen.

J: Ow.

M: Damn, dude.

J: OH! M: Oh, my God!

G: Bonus Blast.

G: Uhp! J: NOO! Noo!

M: Several bounces at your own desk. G: It's the wild card.

*TREVOR GETS NAILED*

M: Oh, my God, you nailed Trevor. J: Got 'im.

J: Ooooh, thigh!

J: AAAAOW!

M: Hoh! That one was comin' right at me! Jack: Jeremy... J: God...

J: OH! That was a great one.

J: I can't s-OW!!

J: I can't see; the glasses fogged up, so I can't even see 'em, now.

G: AAAAGH!

M: Technically, he's down.

J: Nailed it. M: Technically he said 'til the first one drops, and he just dropped.

M: Oh, yes! Was that dick?!

J: AAOW!

*HEADSHOT*

*JACK DIES IMMEDIATELY*

M: Oh, my God! That is it... that is it.

J: Ow!

M: I can say this... Jack won; Jeremy lost. Gavin, we just spectated.

M: You are gonna have... a mark, for sure, maybe a lump. J: Right there.

M: Fuckin'... beautiful.

M: J- Make sure you get Jack, he's dead!

Jack: (DYING) That noise it made! Oh, my God.

J: Here we go, ya' ready? G: Yeh. J: Yeah.

G: Uhp! Lindsay: Wow!

J: Straight in. G: Not bad.

Jack: I hit it.

J: That's what happened to the wall.

G: Uhp! Not bad.

J: OOOH, the shelf!

Jack: You good?

G: HUP!

J: Holy shit... Lindsay: It's up.

J: Yeah, wow, that took a heavy impa- you can see the little peg in there. Where it tried.

T: What the hell was that?!

Jack: We put the bowling ball back. J: We put the bowling ball back on the shelf.

G: It's Trevor's turn.

T: Dude... that fell and hit the floor, I felt it in the other room. I was like, "What the hell?!"

Jack: Alright.

T: BAP! Oh, shit! J: Kobe!

G: I better get rid of this knife, I'm not-...

T: Hey, guys, we can store bigger things, now!

T: *LINK IMPRESSION*

Jack: Trevor, why are you so bad?!

Jack: There it is. T: No...

J: Uuugh!

T: Why is this-?!... It's good!

J: Oh, that took that so hard.

G: What does that sound like in the other room?

Matt: Pretty bad.

T: It sounds... just like that, but as if it was next to you.

Alfredo: Was that what it is? G: Little-... Little trampoline... plus bowling ball.

G: It sounds like it's in here.

*GLASS EXPLOSION*

Jack: OH! J: Oh! What was that?!

T: The South Carolina shot glass!

T: Ooo, what is that? It's blood! Lindsay: Aw, it's sauce!

T: It hit me in the neck!

T: This is for Michael's reaction to the... bowling ball fiasco.

M: AW, WHAT THE FUCK?!

M: COME ON!

M: Why?! You're back one day! It's alwa- it's always you!

G: That wasn't- Oh, that was me.

M: 'COURSE IT WAS YOU!

M: COME ON!

M: Did you at least film it?!

J: Yeah. G: Yeah.

M: It's a god damn mess over here.

J: Yeah, I was like I don't even know how to- M: Well, you get on the fucking floor and you clean it up, it's really complicated.

M: *IMPERSONATING GAVIN* "I don't even know where to begin- Oh, YOU should do it. You know how to pi- OH- Oh, you pick it up! Interesting."

M: "I didn't know where to start!"

Geoff: So, we- we've been- we had a bit of an intervention with ya'... Uh...

Geoff: You've got British teeth... British mouth...

Geoff: It's gettin' stinky. M: Brit mouth.

Geoff: So, we wanna- we know that, uh... you don't like doing anything that's boring... or pedestrian... G: That's true.

Geoff: So, we wanna... G: Who wants to just brush their teeth with a brush?

Geoff: CLEANLINESS!

*SQUISH*

Jack: Awww... Geoff missed! M: Aww! Yeah, he kinda- he mostly missed.

Geoff: Alright, we'll try again.

*POW*

Jack: Over!

M: I mean, it went- it went under AND over. T: Oh, my God, I'm fucking deaf.

Geoff: It was loud... Alright, we'll try again.

Geoff: Gavin, maybe stand up a bit? Jack: There might be a hole in the bottom. T: Hold on, hold on.

R: We have- we have... Probably has the structural security.

Geoff: Alright, on your mark, get set...

*KERSPLAT*

M: Oooh, shit!

G: I felt it.

Geoff: We're gonna get those teeth clean, right... HERE!

Geoff: OH, SO CLOSE! So close!

Geoff: Oh, there was like, height and everything was perfect! Jack: You got maybe one more shot!

Geoff: 'Kay, we good? Alright, ready...

Geoff: BRUSH!

*MONEY SHOT*

M: Oh, my God! oh, my God. That was perfect. That was amazing.

Geoff: Let me see, let me see, let me see! M: Call it done.

M: Call it done... Geoff: Fresh breath!

G: Much better. Geoff: Fresh breath! You're clean!

Geoff: Flippy Dick Stick! T: So... Jeremy was throwin' it...

T: I- I haven't done it yet. He was just goin'...

*SLAP*

T: ...And it would stick, but what we're trying to do is get a full rotation... before the stick. J: So, yeah, I think-... me and Jack have both done it from here.

Geoff: Yeah, Flippy Dick Stick.

J: We need to see... One- one flip, and then suction.

J: Ryan, if you get this first try...

*PURE BADASS*

Geoff: OOOOH, SHIET! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! Alfredo: Oh, my God!

T: What is wrong with you?! Alfredo: What the fuck?!

Geoff: Are you serious?!

J: I knew he would! I knew he would! T: Of course- of course he did; he didn't even look!

Geoff: Dude, Ryan... Just walk out the door, man.

T: First try, baby!

G: That was so tragic!

T: Now it's like, pointing right at me. I don't like it at all!

*VERY LOUD SLAP*

T: THAT was a slap!

M: It woulda' broke... that would've been a broken cock. J: That was all suction.

J: That was all the suction cup.

T: It's a little higher... G: Is that higher?

G: I like, that, next to the lamp, there's a triple shine on it!

M: Yeah... yeah. You could tell time. T: Alright... uh...

J: So, that will stay there... uh...

T: Do we wanna leave it there, or do we wanna get higher?

G: How 'bout this, how 'bout this?... When the dick falls, we all take a day off work.

G: So, it's about a month later.

M: There it is. G: Still up there.

M: Haven't had the day off, yet. G: No. J: Watching over the support office for us.

G: It's hard to climb with this-...

Matt: Move it, then!

M: Don't you guys love when Gavin comes in here?

T: Go Flippy Dick Suck...

Matt: That wood is actually-... M: Put it in your mouth.

J: There ya' go!

T: A day off is com-... J: Aww, yes! Aw, yes!

J: Ayyy!!

J: So, anyways, that's uh, the follow-up video.

M: Yeah... who knows why we filmed that... to say, "There it is, and Gavin touched it with his eye."

M: Dude...

M: What's your fuckin' face?!

G: So, this is a-

G: Trevor- Trevor said, "Throw it around the Kino." And as we know, nothing bad has ever come from doing that.

G: Okay, so, AROUND the Kino?

J: Around the Kino.

J: OH!

M: Technically is what you described.

T: That doesn't sound like an object that can break something.

Jack: There ya' go!

M: Give it to that light! Jack: Little harder, though.

Geoff: Trevor, what do you have against the Kinos?

G: Oh! OH!

M: That was a good one.

J: Okay, so, more up angle, AND as hard as I can?

T: Yeah! J: Oh, okay!

M: You should go WITH the ball.

G: OH! T: Told you, Jeremy!

M: I mean, that was pretty good.

Jack: Hoh, shit!

M: That was a HELL of a hit.

G: Damnit, another spinner!

Jack: There ya' go!

M: Anything that happens-... T: OOH, hey- Ouch!

G: Damn good strike.

R: Ceiling, left wall, and then ground, I think... T: And then my leg.

G: AAAAGH!

M: Holy shit, that was close!

Geoff: How did I get hit with a fucking bouncy ball?!

Geoff: The FUCK?! J: "AAAAGH!"

Jack: That was ALL Gavin's shelf, too, that's all of Gavin's stuff.

J: Oh, yeah, right there? M: Mr. Blobby!

G: Sometimes when you're at work, you just get a bit randy...

G: I can't do it!

*SPLOOGE*

J: AAAH!

G: Oh, my-!

T: Uh, alright... toothpaste capsule.

G: Mayo capsule? J: Mayo...

T: So, follow-up on the Mayo capsule...

G: Jeremy, have you seen this?!

T: Look at the Mayo capsule! G: Look at how m-... "capsule!"

J: Oh, NO!

R: What is that from?!

J: Man, I gotta go to the doctor. G: It's the Mayo capsule!

R: Oooooooh... J: I squirted Mayo on the wall.

R: Welp... Sorry, little buddies.

G: Oho! Ohoh, it's so gelatinous!

T: Woah! That's-...

T: Ew.

T: OH! I'm not even in.

T: EW!

T: Oh, God, it's like-... it's like being surrounded by a memory foam...

J: It's gonna come in like this, right? Look at that.

T: It's got a chill to it. Is that the cold one?

G: No, this is the warm one. J: No, that's just my glove.

T: Oh, my God.

T: Oh!... It's heavy! OH- MMM!

Alfredo: Ooo, now we're just IN it.

G: I feel weird even using gloves.

T: Let's get the sleeves on there. J: DEAL!

G: Alright, I think that's worked well. J: Alright, cool.

T: Let's get some ASMR shirt action, like-... get in here close, Larry.

J: Yeah, yeah, get- ready?

*SLOSHING NOISES*

T: Oh, yeah?

Alfredo: Ryan... "That's a noise."

T: Oooooooh, dog! It's cold! It's cold down my back.

J: Okay, well it's not a tank-top anymore, so you gotta-...

J: What was it? T: Oh, God, it splashed in my face!

T: Um...

T: Alright, cool, just want to make sure you're working.

T: Business as usual.

J: We'll clean that up.

Barbara: Trevor, what the FUCK?!

Burnie: Trevor... you used to be such a nice boy...

G: See ya'.

Barbara: Uh... Burnie: What is that, WHAT IS THAT?!

Barbara: What- what is-?! Blaine: You got, fuckin'... chocolate pudding on the camera...

G: Hey, that- that's my boss, there.

Barbara: What is on you?! DUDE! Blaine: Trevor...

Blaine: This is the shit that I would do, like... like my first couple months at RoosterTeeth, you know? You've been working here for like two or three years, why are you still doing this?!

G: And, he also, he came, I think straight from the manager's meeting.

T: New ways to sell old things, Blaine!

Burnie: "New ways to sell old things."

Blaine: What are they- WHAT ARE YOU SELLING?!

T: Pudding Shirt!

Burnie: Pudding Shi- G: It's a Pudding Shirt.

Burnie: I'm glad you said it was pudding 'cause I was really concerned as to what it was until you said specifically that it's- it's pudding.

T: It's the new new. It's new new. Barbara: He looks like the Peanut-Butter baby.

Barbara: Can you slap your-... slap your stomach?

Blaine: He's gonna have a zit sweater... tomorrow. G: We put on the balls just in case he wanted to do some Mo-Cap.

*LARRY GAGGING*

*LARRY PUKING*

Larry: We're good. T: Larry, that looks like the pudding! Don't show it.

T: Burnie, I'm sorry I ruined the podcast... But uh...

T: But, hey... I think we're gonna get a lot of sales out of it...

T: I'm gonna need some privacy, Larry.

T: Yeah...

M: Well, there we go. Thanks for joining us.

{CAPTIONS BROUGHT TO YOU BY SNOZER2}

M: Excellent work, Geoff... Uh, excellent work.

Geoff: I love being away from the office, and comin' back... and you guys are READY to film! WOO!

The Description of Best of Between The Games (1-30) [AH]