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Are you Being ignored by someone you care about?

IF so, you know its one of the most frustrating and difficult situations to deal with especially

when you dont know the reason.

Thats why In this video, Im going to share the top 5 reasons why the person youre

dating or interested in might be ignoring you.

And Im going to tell you exactly what to do about each of them.

So dont go anywhere because were starting in 4 seconds.

hi everyone.

Im dr Antonio Borrello, Welcome to another video.

Im a psychologist and relationship coach and I make weekly dating and relationship

advice videos.

This channel is all about helping you build great relationships so you can grow happy

with the people you love.

So, if youre interested in making your love life the best part of your life, start

now by clicking the subscribe button and the bell notification so you arent missing

anything.

Ohand make sure you watch this video all the way to the end.. because after We talk

about why hes ignoring you, Im going to tell you the four things you absolutely

must NOT do as well..

These are the things that will sabotage your chances of turning things around.

So make sure you watch the whole video and get those too.

Oh, and Im also going to tell you how you can win a $50 Amazon gift card just for leaving

a comment below.

So dont miss that easy money.

Lol

OKon to our topic..

Whats a guy thinking when he ignores you and what you can do about it.

There are so many reason why men.. (and women) resort to ignoring or fading away from a person

they are dating.

And make no mistake about itfeeling ignored is terrible.

Its hurtful, frustrating, and unfortunately its a common situation that people deal

with when in dating relationships.

Everything starts out great….

Hes giving you tons of attention, making plans to see you, hes keeping in touch

on the phone and with textsbasically, things feel perfect.

But then something happens

He stops calling and has become less responsive to you or perhaps he doesnt even respond

to you on the same day.

Hes ignoring you and it feels horrible in the pit of your stomach.

And thats when you start questioning everythingreplaying your interactions over an over

trying to figure out what happened.

was it something you said?

Did they learn something about you that they don't like?

Why is he ignoring you and why is it so difficult to handle?

Well let me explain.

Being ignored is so difficult because it forces us to deal with uncertainty and ambiguity

and the brain does not like uncertainty or ambiguityespecially when we are dealing

with matters of the heart or when we can imagine scenarios in which we are threatened.

Its a phenomenon that has been well researched.

For example a 2005 university study concerned with human decision making found that even

a little bit of ambiguity will activate the amygdalathe region of the brain responsible

for processing emotional reactions and threat responsesThe researchers found that the

amygdalalights upon neuroimaging scans when we deal with ambiguity and uncertainty.

In other words, the more uncertainty and ambiguity, the more the amygdala registers a threat response.

And its so difficult to handle because That part of our brain cant separate physical

threatslike someone coming at you with a knife fromsillythreats like someone

not responding to your text message.

And then youll have people who say things likejust forget about it.. whats the

big deal…. he isnt responding to you or hes ignoring you..

get over it.. but its not so easy, right.

And Trying to talk yourself out of it isnt super effective.

And not only does the uncertainty feel threatening and anxiety provoking, being ignored can have

serious physical side effects too, The silent treatment, even if its brief, also activates

the anterior cingulate cortexthe part of the brain that detects physical pain.

Yes.. you heard that correctly

The initial pain is the same in your brain as physical painand causes physical symptoms

too.

So Yeah.. being ignored hurts.. a lot.

But there is a little bit of good newsbecause this emotional pain is felt in the

same areas of the brain as physical pain, you can take Tylenol or ibuprophen to help

alleviate the pain.

Its true

look it up

OKso we know the feelings of being ignored are real and they are painful.

So why are they doing it?… what are they thinking when ignoring you.

Well, firstyou have to be absolutely sure he is ignoring you?

youve got to be completely certain that you arent over reacting and panicking when

there may be a legitimate and harmless reason for his lack of communication.

When a man doesnt reply to your texts right away, but eventually, he gets back to you

in a few hours or the next day, this isnt such a big deal.

Chances are hes got an explanation and good reason for not getting back to you.

But if someone is leaving you unanswered after days and this behavior is completely unlike

him, then you know youre being ignored.

Now you can start to worry.

So If you feel like your boyfriend or the guy youre interested in is ignoring you,

here are the top 5 reasons and how you can deal with them.

1.They are playing games or playing hard to get.

At the beginning of a relationship, a person may believe they have toplay hard-to-get

in order to sustain your interest.

This kind of behavior is a powerful form of manipulation that sadly, worksespecially

on people with low self-esteem.

But Even if youre self esteem is very robustif youve been with a person for a bit and

they start taking days and days to respond to your messages or answer your calls, it

gets very frustrating.

He wants you to experience that uncertain, panicked response so that youll be more

receptive to him when he does reply.

So what do you do?

Call them out their behavior.

You can say something like this

Youve seemed really distant the past couple of weeksyou havent been calling or texting

and it takes you hours and days to respond to my message with one or two words.

Whats going on, are you ok?”

Try not to be accusatory because that can be met with defensiveness By the way, that

isnt desperate either..

It just lets him know that youve noticed a change in his behavior and gives him an

opportunity to explain.”

2 Hes punishing you When someone is intentionally ignoring you

to punish you, its because he wants you to feel the pain that uncertainty provokes.

He may be motivated by revenge; he feels that youve ignored him, so hes doing the

same.

If youre in the middle of an argument, he might be ignoring you until the situation

calms down, especially if hes uncomfortable with conflict or feels that arguing is counterproductive.

Even so, being ignored when youre angry is incredibly frustrating and not a healthy

way to solve a dispute.

The best relationships are built on communication.

If your partner is unwilling to engage with you to resolve issues and prefers to ignore

you then you should reconsider whether they are mature enough to be in a relationship

with you.

3 Hes not alone.

So this one could be good or bad..

Some people put their phones away when they are visiting with family or friends or when

they are working closely with a colleague.

If thats the case, he probably does the same when hes with you, right.

But if he is a person who is constantly taking calls and texts even when youre together,

then you might question his motives for ignoring your calls or texts.

Is he ignoring you because he is with someone that hes hiding you from?

Here is a real example of a person who was cheating on her boyfriendwhenever she

was spending time with her boyfriend, she would block the other guys number on her phone.

That way she wouldnt risk a text or call coming through and having to explain to her

boyfriend.

And when she was with the other guy, she temporarily blocked her boyfriends number.

Obviously she made these men feel ignored as their calls and text messages went unread

and unresponded to.

So, is he ignoring you because he is up to no good?

If thats the case, be prepared for some kind of elaborate explanation for his disappearance.

4 Hes trying to break up with you.

oftentimes someone youre dating becomes distant because theyre afraid of the confrontation

of breaking up with you.

they would rather fade out of a relationship than end it properly.

So, If you feel him pulling away and making excuses not to see you, then hes using

ignoring you as a break-up method.

Hes hoping that youll eventually get fed up of being ignored and end the relationship

yourself.

Or youll just stop trying and the relationship will fizzle out without any kind of confrontation.

So, what can you do.

Instead of being strung along, tell him that if this isnt working out for him, youll

understand.

Then youll have the opportunity to move on without any doubt or hesitation.

So, if he wants to break up, youve just given him the opportunity.

And if he doesnt want to break up, it gives you an opportunity to communicate about your

needs and expectations,

5 Hes just not that into you This can be a difficult truth to accept.

We often choose to believe that someone is just busy or naturallybadat texting,

which is why they are ignoring us.

But do you really want to be with someone who puts contacting you at the bottom of his

to-do list?

Everyone has bad days but, in the early days of a relationship, theres no reason why

he should be ignoring you.

And if he is, then hes either still playing games and not ready for a long-lasting relationship

or just not that into you….

So, dont be afraid to be vulnerable and find out whats going on.

Look, I understand the need to play it cool and not get too invested..

I mean who wants to be hurt.

So if youve been playing it cool And not showing too much interest, maybe he mistook

that for you being disinterestedand so thats the same vibe hes giving you.

So, take a chance and be vulnerable.. tell him how much you like being with him and that

you want to see him.

If hes on the same page, he will also let his guard down and share his feelings.

But if he doesnt, then you know hes not that into you and you can decide if you

want to continue pursuing the relationship or not.

OK.. now we move on to the things you absolutely must not do.

So keep watching because if you do these things, youre ruining your chances of making things

right again.

1 Dont Keep Calling and Texting If theres a legit reason why hes not

responding as much, over-texting or over-calling just to get an answer will come off as possessive,

insecure, and a little crazy.

Trust ? me, hes seeing your calls and texts….. besides, if he didnt see that youve

been trying to reach him, shouldnt he be concerned and reach out to you?

, so yeah, hes seeing that you reached out.

If he still doesnt respond after a week, you may need to come to grips with the fact

that youve been ghosted.

2.

No begging and pleading.

Regardless of how much it hurts, you cant beg or plead with a person to stay with you.

When you do and when you get rejected, you will only hurt more and feel helpless and

frustrated.

And, begging and pleading will make them cringe and feel sorry for you.

And if they are ignoring you because they cant handle confrontation, they certainly

will move further away if they know youre begging and pleading.. dont do it.

3.

Dont resort to hurtful insults, name calling or picking a fight.

Of course, youre angry, but confrontations or saying something hurtful will be something

that you later regret.

Dont do it.

4.

no Hunting and haunting.

Hunting involves going to places with a high probability of running into an ex-partner.

You do that because Yourre hoping for a sudden and dramatic change of heart after

acoincidentalmeeting.

Haunting refers to stalking behaviors like driving by the ex-partners home or monitoring

their social media sites hoping to see that nothing in their life has changed.

These hunting and haunting behaviors are detrimental to you for several reasons.

First, they require you to spend considerable time and energy thinking about the other person

and what they might be doing.

And when you find evidence that your ex-partner has moved on, youll make unfavorable comparisons

to your life and ruminate about your loss.

Too often, the information you learn is incomplete, and you become more curious.

Again, the focus is on your ex, instead of focusing on things you could do to speed up

your recovery.

Look, i know how frustrating it is to feel like youre being ignored.

Its can be a powerful form of abuse.

But Sometimes it happens in the middle of a heated argument, and temporary Silence can

be healthy.

Especially to avoid exacerbating the situation or to avoid saying something that is later

regretted.

However, deliberately giving someone the silent treatment as a method of control or punishment

is abusive- its not problem solving.

When there is a problem between two people, the only healthy thing is to engage in dialogue

to find solutions.

Silence and distance only generate more problems and, in the end, solve absolutely nothing.

You know I love reading about your situations and getting feedback from you.

So much so, that Ive decided to try something new to encourage you to leave a comment.

So Im going to give away a $50 amazon gift card to one of the first 30 people who leave

a comment suggesting a topic youd like me to talk about in a future video or describing

a situation where you or someone you know dealt with being ignored.

So yeah..

Im going to randomly pick a number from 1-30 and the person whos comment that corresponds

to will get a $50 Amazon card through email.

So take a moment, like this video and leave a comment.. thats all you have to do.

And of course Im going to respond to all of you as well.

Thats it for this video.

Thanks for watching and I look forward to chatting with you below.

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