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Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Dinheiro, Caneta BATMAN e Webseries (ENG SUB)

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NERDS' HAIR SALLOON

JovemNerd.com.br presents: NerdOffice Editing by GavetaFilmes.com.br Subtitles by @fabiopl

Lambda, lambda, lambda, nerds! Welcome to the NerdOffice!

Azaghal! Bearded and bald!

I decided to use this look,

bearded and bald, or bald and bearded, as you wish,

but my wife Andreia, the Portuguese Girl, didn't allow me to!

She threw a fit!

She doesn't like the look because "the beard ends out of the blue".

I replied: "For those who don't have a beard but have hair,"

- "it's the hair that ends out of the blue!" - Of course!

But she insisted.

Agatha tried to help, but failed miserably.

Andreia suggested that I keep just a goatee.

But then Agatha said that goatees are for criminals!

- That's bullying! - Bullying?!

It's home bullying!

I can't be bearded and bald, I can't keep a goatee...

I might as well grow just a moustache!

So, that shot at the beginning of the show...

...could well be the only record of Bearded and Bald Azaghal.

Aw, man! Max Payne Azaghal!

You could just make a depressed face and voilà!

There are so many characters who are bearded and bald...

...and I was deprived of this right!

What look should I adopt now? I have no clue!

Yeah, go ahead and ask them! See what kind of suggestions you'll get!

It's not "This Week's Little Question", but I'd like some feedback on that!

- All right! - Should I wear this wool beard forever?

Is this my look from now on?

Last week we heard on the news that the Brazilian Federal Public Ministry...

...wants to remove a phrase from our Real bills.

- Our money bills. - Yeah.

It is: "May God be praised".

- They want to take it out. - Take it out.

- Brazil is a secular state. - That's their argument.

As such, there cannot be any sort of religious praise.

Religious praise?

- Religious praise? Can we say that?

- Religious praise? Can we say that? - YES! :)

The point is: Brazil is a secular state, and as such, all religions are allowed.

There are no official religions in Brazil anymore.

Even though people think Brazil is a Catholic country, it's not.

Brazil is a secular state, so all religions are allowed,

which I think is an excellent social policy.

After all, nobody should be discriminated.

Exactly! We're free to choose!

But Brazil wasn't always a secular state.

There's still a grudge from when it wasn't.

For instance, in many public offices and schools,

there are crosses on the walls.

But that's the workers' right to expressing themselves.

- Yes, but it's public! - Oh, it's public...

If it were a private school or company,

they can express their religious choices.

I see.

If it's a Catholic school, it shouldn't be considered secular, right?

Yes, of course!

So you're saying that public institutions should embrace all beliefs...

...and not favor just one, right?

In fact, I'm saying they shouldn't embrace any beliefs, or it would be a hell of a mess!

- So they should be religion-free? - Religion-free!

So that's what the Federal Public Ministry wants to do.

They think "May God be praised" is favoring a specific religion.

I don't see any problems with the phrase being on the bill.

Neither do I. Atheists, on the other hand...

But then there was this report that said that...

...if you are religious and don't see a problem in that...

For instance, if a Christian says: "I don't see a problem in that phrase. I believe in God!"

Then, imagine if in the bill this was written: "God does not exist".

That Christian would be bothered by it, right?

Or if this was written: uh...

"Allah be praised".

Yeah! Wouldn't Christians be bothered by that?

When you put yourself in somebody's shoes,

you understand how they feel, and that's what the Public Ministry wants.

The country is supposed to be for all religions, so let's stay out of this!

- By the way, there was a meme about that. - Yeah, it's a solution for the problem!

Using all religious phrases!

"God/Buddah/Allah be praised",

"Lula [former Brazilian president] be praised"!

"Oxossi [African-Brazilian deity] be praised", "Lord Ganesha be praised"...

...and "God does not exist!"

Last but not least! After all, atheists are also God's children!

But they forgot about the Rastafarians!

Oh, but it's impossible to put all religions in the bills!

But hey, I think it's okay.

It's something that doesn't interfere with people's lives or the economy.

- It's just a concept. - I think it's a valid change.

I even think...

Everything has a trade-off.

So, as long as we're changing the bills,

why not make our money look more awesome?

You think our money is not cool?

Our money is lame. Those purple and blue tones are really lame!

And now it's getting bigger! They're copying the euro bills.

The bigger the value is, the bigger the bill is.

- So what, the R$ 50 bill is biger now? - It's gigantic, dammit!

I never noticed that.

Well, I'm the one who keeps the money here.

Anyway, the bigger the value is, the bigger the bill is.

So, that's a problem when I'm counting money!

I'm a guy who likes to feel the money.

I like to touch the money, to pay with a stack of bills, like this...

But the different sizes are good for the visually impaired.

But the new R$ 100 bill and the old R$ 2 bill have practically the same color.

You don't have to be visually impaired to mistake them.

But you can read the number!

But if you're on a money-counting frenzy, you could get confused!

It's impossible to mistake a R$ 100 bill for a R$ 2 bill!

It happens!

My father-in-law once mistook a bill for a napkin and wiped his mouth with it.

Am I wrong? Am I wrong?!

So I propose a cooler bill.

- What would your bill be like? - I don't know!

It's fuckin' easier said than done!

I never said I was going to give a solution to anything.

Let's make cooler bills!

So, let's remove the animals of the current bills and use Brazilian historical figures.

Like Dom Pedro I, "Hammerhand Pete"!

Good! That's good! Hammerhand Pete!

That's awesome!

- I don't know! Something... - Our founding fathers!

I'm just saying I don't like them. I'm not giving a solution.

But there's one solution I'd like to suggest.

Okay, remove "May God be praised".

But make up for it with Illuminati references!

Like the one-dollar bill, man!

We can make Easter eggs out of money!

That's your idea of "awesome"?

It's the gamification of economy!

So Azaghal, right now we're very happy.

That's right. And you are about to be happy, too!

The end of the year is coming...

The end of the world is coming!

Exactly! That's when people become more generous.

That's true!

So our friends at Montegrappa...

Our dear friend Giuseppe!

What, man?

It's so... Please, show them his picture with some Italian music.

That's such a stereotype!

Giuseppe, you have our permission to show a samba dancer every time you talk about Brazil.

Great, great!

But anyway, let's go.

Our dear friend Giuseppe and Montegrappa,

have just released a Batman pen.

A special Batman pen. Not only the pen, but also a kit!

That's right. You're familiar with the Chaos pen. We had a contest with it once.

But! Now they have a licensing contract with DC Comics.

So now they're releasing the Batman pen, the first of a series.

The fact is, Giuseppe sent us an e-mail...

...saying that he's feeling generous.

He wants to give you nerds a Montegrappa Batman Kit!

The only thing Giuseppe is guilty of is being too generous!

Exactly!

And now he's again being generous with you, nerds!

Yeah, that's right!

So here is the deal we made with Giuseppe:

Listen up, it's so cool!

They will make other pens too, not only the Batman one.

- It's the first of a trilogy of pens. - Yeah.

- The next ones will be Superman... - Yeah.

- ...and Mulher Maravilha [Wonder Woman]! - Yeah!

I said one in English and the other in Portuguese.

That's okay!

Now check out this awesome idea for a contest!

You, illustrator, designer, Photoshopper...

- Artist... - 3-D-er...

- Everything! - Magazine cut-and-paster...

Scratch paper scribbler...

If you are able to express your art in graphic form,

- Yeah! - You have a golden opportunity here.

Because this is the idea: You are going to design...

- ...the next Montegrappa pen! - Dude!!!

You can design Superman's pen...

- ...or Wonder Woman's pen! - That's right!

So here's the deal:

You're going to make the best design you can.

- The best possible way. - But it's gotta be cool!

- The competition is heavy! - It's an artists' competition!

This is Jovem Nerd! THIS IS NERD POWER!

You're gonna make your design in 3-D, Photoshop, whatever.

You're going to post it on SkyNerd and you're going to send us the link.

Send it to the email address that is below, on the post about the contest.

You also have to like Montegrappa's Facebook page.

Yes, and by the way, you have to send us the link...

...to your Facebook profile so we can check if you really did it.

All the details are in the post below.

Now, what's most important: we at Jovem Nerd will choose 10 designs.

- The best 10! - Exactly.

And then we're going to send it to Montegrappa's Giuseppe.

And he's going to choose the best design,

which will give its creator the Batman kit!

- Excellent! - Spectacular!

- But there's a plus! - Behold, there's a plus!

I'm so psyched about this contest that I'm kicking the luminaire.

It's okay, it's not going to fall down.

If, and only if, Montegrappa comes to be interested in your design...

Man, I'm beating around the bush!

In producing the pen you designed,

they will deal with you commercially.

That's right. It's a big plus!

It's not like you're going to lose your design to Montegrappa.

Let's say you designed the pen and won the kit.

It's not 100% guaranteed, but they may decide to actually use your design in a pen!

Giuseppe may look at it and say:

"This pen-ah is-a vedy beautiful!"

And say, "This is going to be our pen." How cool would that be!

You and Montegrappa may close a deal and they'll pay you for it!

- Exactly! - Isn't it fucking cool?

- 100% cool! - Holy shit man, awesome!

So if you're an illustrator,

a 3-D or Photoshop guy or girl,

or a designer,

if you have graphic talents for fucking awesome designs,

and can design a Superman or Wonder Woman pen,

this contest is for you!

- Exactly! - It's perfect! It's such a cool contest!

A tip: visit Montegrappa's website, see what their pens look like,

so you can try to do something that will sparkle their interest.

Can you imagine? You can win a Batman pen,

and maybe, in the future, you'll get to design Montegrappa pens!

That's a life of luxury and refinement!

And tradition! It's a hundred-year-old brand!

That's what Montegrappa can do for you!

Excellent!

But pay attention!

You must send your design until December 15th!

December 15th, at 11:59pm!

The results come out on December 19th.

- Let's see who'll be the winner. All right? - This is for you!

Montegrappa Batman Contest!

Let's talk about one of the coolest internet things that are happening nowadays.

Web series.

Oops, got a little mixed up with the pronunciation. Sorry!

- Web series! - Web series, that's right!

Series on the web.

Way to explain that!

Anyways!

We can see the internet is growing side by side with the TV...

...as an entertainment medium.

- It's a media channel! - It's a great channel!

We've seen not only amateurs and semi-pros,

as we said on last week's episode,

but also professional level productions on the web...

...that rival actual TV productions.

It's fucking great to be able to see what we are seeing nowadays.

We live in an era of fucking awesome productions,

with a lot of resources,

made for a medium that is the new TV.

You can subscribe, receive new episodes...

You can watch it whenever you want, share, comment...

- It's great! - You can watch wherever you want, too!

On your cellphone, tablet, computer...

Exactly.

So we'd like to talk about three web series.

The first two are from the MachinimaPrime channel.

Look at that, they are Prime now!

As you know, Halo 4 is out.

Lots of people are into that.

So, they made a live-action Halo 4 series.

Complete with special effects, actors and all. It's really cool!

Especially for those who like the Halo universe.

You get to follow this awesome series for free. Each chapter is 22 minutes long.

They have already published many chapters.

The other one had been in a limbo since 2010.

It's a Battlestar Galactica prequel.

Battlestar Galactica Blood and Chrome!

Yaaay.

For a while no one knew whether it would go to TV or be canceled.

At some point it was greenlit for a pilot.

But then they weren't certain that it would go to TV, so it ended up on the web.

The good thing about it is you don't need to go through any bureaucracy.

Put it on the web! It's so much more simple!

It's cheaper and you don't need so many people.

You don't even need to be linked to a big studio. You can simply do it.

That's the future. It's cool to watch the future.

So you have 10 episodes with a young Adama,

during the first war against the Cylons.

For those who, like me, are BSG fans,

It's great to be able to see a new series,

new scenes, new combats,

new plots in that amazing universe.

But it's a shame that it's blocked for countries that are not the USA.

I have no idea why.

So, in Brazil, it doesn't work. If you try, you'll see this warning.

I've seen a lot of people blame Machinima for that.

I don't think they're to blame.

They're used to working with the web, so...

...they know that localizing web content is a shot in the foot.

That's smells like TV all over it.

Why else aren't other Machinima videos blocked as well, then?

You can watch them from any country!

Only that specific series is blocked!

But anyone who knows their way around the internet...

can use a proxy, or look for it on Paulo Coelho's "video rental shop"...

You know what the internet's like, right?

You know, don't you?

Hey guys, just between you and me,

do you really think that's worth it? Blocking your content? For the love of God!

Nowadays you can monetize your traffic according to different demographics,

you can make money for many different target audiences!

So why block?!

There's also a web series recommended by our consiglieri Marco Gomes.

It's called H+.

It's wicked! It comes in short episodes...

5 minutes each, right?

Yeah! It's in a... dystopian future, can I say that?

No, it's a future that's quite similar to what might actually...

So it's not dystopian? All right, whatever.

It's a normal future,

where people have computerers... I mean, computers, implanted in their heads.

Those computerers are infected by a virus.

The cool thing about it is that it's a believable future.

Yes, because I would certainly implant a computerer in my head!

Yes, you can use it like this, you see people moving their hands like this.

It would be a totally different society.

Nowadays, when you see someone talk to themselves,

you may assume they have a bluetooth device in their ear.

- Imagine if you see someone go like this... - It'd be a society of Rainmen.

But it's cool. People have that Google Glass-like thingie...

- except it's in their heads. - Google Life.

You even have the name of the product!

So they inject that into people, it's really interesting.

Of course, there's controversy about it. There are those who think it's absurd.

There are anti-technology people and all...

It's a very realistic vision of our future.

It's excellent, very cool. It's really worth watching,

even though it's in English. There are Spanish subtitles, but no Portuguese ones.

There are more than 30 episodes already available.

And there's a new one every Wednesday.

Subscribe it, it's awesome!

As long as we're recommending videos, let's talk about a few Brazilian channels.

Yes!

People complain that we only talk about "gringo" stuff.

But there are many awesome Brazilian channels, such as Porta dos Fundos [Backdoor].

Fantastic! Spectacular content!

They keep releasing new episodes, always well directed, produced and funny.

I always watch it. It's really, so cool!

They are very talented people.

We've talked about Fábio Porchat here.

There's also Gregório Duvivier, who made a video about Jovem Nerd once.

Yeah, it's a very cool channel.

There's Jacaré Banguela [Toothless Alligator], too!

They've recently interviewed Brazilian cartoon legend Mauricio de Sousa.

It was a great interview.

They also interviewed us in their "Don't Talk to the Driver" feature.

By the way, Seinfeld plagiarized that format!

We're watching you!

Click the link below to watch our interview!

They're channels with good content,

which is produced daily on the internet!

It's great!

If you find a number of channels that please you,

you'll have good things to watch practically every day!

Custom programming!

And all that on the internet, man!

The internet is here to stay!

I second that!

Well Azaghal, before wrapping up,

as we've mentioned on Nerdcast,

November 25th is coming. It's Brazilian Voluntary Blood Donor Day!

True that!

Just a reminder: involuntary blood donors don't get to have their own day.

- Only voluntary ones! - It would be kind of a sticky situation.

We asked donors to post pictures or videos,

in other words, register somehow this noble act.

An act of solidarity, that's what it is!

It's good to help those who really are in need.

You can save lives!

Here's a clip from nerd blood donors.

Lambda, lambda, lambda!

BLOOD DONOR

Don't forget there's a Facebook app for donors where you can...

...share, comment and encourage people to donate.

People should donate regularly, not only when there's a campaign.

Yes! Be a blood donor, donate every year!

All the time, all the time!

No, not all the time! There must be a gap between donations.

- Yeah, but not every year either. - Yeah, more than once a year!

Whenever you can, donate blood!

So, here are the links. Check them out and help people!

What's This Week's Little Question, Azaghal?

This one's easy!

What phrase should be on Real bills...

...instead of "May God be praised"?

- What phrase should replace it? - Oh, boy!

WHAT WAS HIDDEN IN THE LAST EPISODE?

DAVID BOWIE FROM 'LABYRINTH'

BLUEHAND'S FACE

LOO-KEE!

English subtitles by @fabiopl

What the hell is that, man? You freaked me out!

The Description of Dinheiro, Caneta BATMAN e Webseries (ENG SUB)