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Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Something Is Seriously Wrong: Bill Barr Refused To Publicly Defend Trump On Ukraine

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WELCOME ONE AND ALL, DOWN HERE, UP THERE, OUT THERE, TO "THE

LATE SHOW."

I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN PRETTY HARD

ON THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION, BUT I'M A SUCKER FOR A LOVE STORY,

AND WE JUST FOUND OUT THAT ENIOR WHITE HOUSE POLICY ADVISER, AND

MAN WHO BETRAYS THE CREW IN EVERY SPACE MOVIE, STEPHEN

MILLER, IS GETTING MARRIED.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) WOW.

LOVE IS TRULY BLIND.

( LAUGHTER ) I'D LIKE TO CONGRATULATE THE

HAPPY? COUPLE.

IF YOU WANT TO GET THEM A GIFT, THEY'RE REGISTERED AT... AND IT

JUST SAYS, "SNAKES."

( LAUGHTER ) I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS.

>> Jon: SNAKES, OKAY.

>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.

STEPHEN MILLER MIGHT BE THE ONLY ONE WHO'S HAPPY AT THE WHITE

HOUSE RIGHT NOW.

I'LL CATCH YOU UP ON THE LATEST IN TONIGHT'S INSTALLMENT OF "DON

AND THE GIANT IMPEACH."

( CHEERING ) >> THE BIGGEST LIE EVER

FOISTERED UPON THE AMERICAN PEOPLE.

>> STEPHEN: THE BIG NEWS TODAY IS THAT IT LOOKS LIKE THE HOUSE

COULD WRAP UP IMPEACHMENT BY CHRISTMAS.

( AUDIENCE REACTS ) ( CHEERING )

WELL, IF THAT'S TRUE, THEN I AGREE WITH TRUMP ON ONE THING:

>> WE'RE SAYING MERRY CHRISTMAS AGAIN.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: MERRY CHRISTMAS,

JON.

>> Jon: MERRY CHRISTMAS.

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

>> Stephen: HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU, TOO.

EVER SINCE TRUMP RELEASED THE TRANSCRIPT OF HIS "PERFECT PHONE

CALL," HE'S BEEN LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO HELP CONVINCE US THAT

IT DOESN'T SAY WHAT IT SAYS.

ENTER ATTORNEY GENERAL AND MAN JUST REALIZING HE DIDN'T GET

INVITED ON THE HUNTING TRIP, BILL BARR.

LAST NIGHT, WE LEARNED THAT AFTER THE UKRAINE SCANDAL BROKE,

TRUMP ASKED BARR TO HOLD A NEWS CONFERENCE STATING THAT NO LAWS

WERE BROKEN IN HIS CALL WITH UKRAINE'S PRESIDENT.

MR. BARR DECLINED.

BILL BARR REFUSED TO PUBLICLY DEFEND THE PRESIDENT?

SOMETHING IS SERIOUSLY WRONG.

THAT'S LIKE NICHOLAS CAGE TURNING DOWN A MOVIE ROLE.

( LAUGHTER ) THIS ISN'T THE FIRST TIME THAT

BARR HAS DISTANCED HIMSELF FROM THIS SCANDAL.

WE KNOW FROM THE ROUGH TRANSCRIPT THAT ON TRUMP'S CALL

WITH THE UKRAINIAN PRESIDENT, TRUMP OFFERED ZELENSKY THE

SERVICES OF BARR TO AID THE INVESTIGATIONS OF BIDEN AND HIS

SON, BUT AFTER THE TRANSCRIPT WAS RELEASED, A BARR SPOKESWOMAN

SAID THAT BARR AND TRUMP HAD NEVER DISCUSSED THAT.

YOU KNOW TRUMP DIDN'T LIKE THAT.

(AS TRUMP) "COME ON, BILLY, YOU CAN'T THROW

ME UNDER THE BUS.

FIRST OF ALL, I'M HARD TO THROW.

( LAUGHTER ) THERE'S NOWHERE TO GRIP, AND I'M

GREASED UP LIKE A PRIZE HOG."

( LAUGHTER ) OF COURSE, THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY

TO MAKE SURE A STORY ABOUT TRUMP IS TRUE, AND THAT'S IF HE

RAGE-TWEETS HIS DENIAL: "BILL BARR DID NOT DECLINE MY REQUEST

TO TALK ABOUT UKRAINE.

THE STORY WAS A FAKE 'WASHINGTON POST' CON JOB WITH AN

'ANONYMOUS' SOURCE THAT DOESN'T EXIST.

JUST READ THE TRANSCRIPT.

THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT ALREADY RULED THAT THE CALL WAS GOOD.

WE DON'T HAVE FREEDOM OF THE PRESS!"

I'M NOT SURE WHAT TO MAKE OF THAT LAST SENTENCE.

IS THAT A COMPLAINT?

OR AN EXECUTIVE ORDER?

(AS TRUMP) "WE DON'T HAVE FREEDOM OF THE

PRESS!

WRITE THAT DOWN.

( LAUGHTER ) WHILE WE'RE AT IT, WE'RE ALSO

GETTING RID OF THAT ONE WHERE WE CAN'T COVET OTHER PEOPLE'S

WIVES.

( LAUGHTER ) HAVE YOU SEEN THAT CHICK JARED'S

WITH?

EXACTLY MY TYPE."

>> Jon: OH!

WHOA!

( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Stephen: BASED ON A TRUE STORY.

( LAUGHTER ) TRUMP TWEETED ON, "YEARS AGO,

WHEN MEDIA WAS LEGITIMATE, PEOPLE KNOWN AS 'FACT CHECKERS'

WOULD ALWAYS CALL TO CHECK AND SEE IF A STORY WAS ACCURATE.

NOWADAYS, THEY DON'T USE 'FACT CHECKERS' ANYMORE, THEY JUST

WRITE WHATEVER THEY WANT!" HM, NO ONE USES FACT CHECKERS

ANYMORE.

A BOLD CLAIM.

I WONDER IF IT'S TRUE.

FACT CHECKERS?

>> YEAH.

IT'S TRUE.

LAUGH ALL RIGHT, THAT CHECKS OUT.

TRUMP HELD ANOTHER MAGA-KAG RALLY LAST NIGHT, THIS TIME IN

LOUISIANA, TO SUPPORT REPUBLICAN GUBERNATORIAL CHALLENGER EDDIE

RISPONE, WHO'S TRYING TO TAKE DOWN DEMOCRATIC INCUMBENT...

I'M GOING TO SAY, CLONE OF EDDIE RISPONE?

( LAUGHTER ) WHOEVER TRUMP WAS THERE TO

SUPPORT, HE MADE SURE TO PLAY TO THE CROWD.

>> SO IS THERE ANYPLACE YOU WOULD RATHER BE THAN AT A TRUMP

RALLY, ON A BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL EVENING IN LOUISIANA?

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> STEPHEN: LET'S SEE, PLACES

I'D RATHER BE THAN A TRUMP RALLY?

THE D.M.V., THE DENTIST, SOMEONE ELSE'S CHILD'S CLARINET RECITAL,

A SOVIET GULAG, COVERED IN HONEY AND STAKED TO AN ANTHILL,

SLIDING DOWN A 50-FOOT RAZOR BLADE INTO A BATHTUB OF GIN, AND

IN A CONVERSATION WITH SOMEONE WHO KNOWS A LOT ABOUT BITCOIN.

THE PRESIDENT COULDN'T GO HOME --

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) GO ON!

( PIANO RIFF ) THE PRESIDENT COULDN'T GO HOME

WITHOUT REMINDING EVERYONE OF HOW MANY PEOPLE VOTED FOR HIM IN

2016.

>> DON'T FORGET, IN 2016, PEOPLE CAME FROM THE MOUNTAINS AND THE

VALLEYS AND THE RIVERS AND THE OCEANS.

THEY CAME FROM ALL OVER?

THE DEMOCRATS SAID, WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?

WHERE ARE THESE PEOPLE COMING FROM?

>> STEPHEN: (AS TRUMP) "YES, ALL MY BIGGEST SUPPORTERS

WERE RISING FROM THE OCEANS: THE KRAKEN, GODZILLA, THE LITTLE

MERMAID, BO DEREK, THAT FISH GUY WHO WON THE OSCAR FOR SEX."

"HE DID, RIGHT?

I DIDN'T SEE IT.

I JUST SAW -- BAD SEX ."

( LAUGHTER ) THEN TRUMP HAD SEVERAL GUESTS,

INCLUDING LOUISIANA SENATOR AND NOT THAT JOHN KENNEDY, JOHN

KENNEDY, WHO SAID THIS ABOUT DONALD TRUMP:

>> SPEAKER NANCY PELOSI IS TRYING TO IMPEACH HIM.

(BOOS) I DON'T MEAN ANY DISRESPECT, BUT

IT MUST SUCK TO BE THAT DUMB.

>> STEPHEN: SHHH, HE'S STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO YOU!

( LAUGHTER ) WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) I DON'T UNDERSTAND, JON!

>> Jon: HE WAS TALKING ABOUT HIM.

HE WAS RIGHT THERE!

>> Stephen: TRUMP'S OTHER BIG GUESTS LAST NIGHT WERE

THE GUYS FROM "DUCK DYNASTY:" >> THANK YOU, FELLAS.

TWO GREAT GUYS.

THEY WERE WITH ME RIGHT AT THE BEGINNING.

I SAID WHO ARE THEY, THEY SAID THEY ARE TWO BIG TELEVISION

STARS.

I SAID, WOW, AND I STARTED WATCHING A LITTLE BIT.

A LOT OF WISDOM THERE.

( LAUGHTER ) >> STEPHEN: YEAH, "DUCK DYNASTY"

IS LOADED WITH WISDOM LIKE THIS: >> I'M LIKE ARETHA FRANKLIN.

I DON'T GET NO R-S-P-E-C-T AROUND THIS JOINT.

>> STEPHEN: WOW.

I DON'T KNOW HOW I'D DESCRIBE THAT LEVEL OF WISDOM.

>> IT MUST SUCK TO BE THAT DUMB.

( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: OKAY, THANK YOU,

SENATOR.

THANK YOU.

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