Two-Face: Symmetry. Nothing is more appeasing to the eye.
They must be perfect! Janice!?
Janice: Y-Yes, sir.
Two-Face: When you finish an even dozen,
ship them to Gotham City in EXACTLY... two... WEEKS!!
J.T.: (Whistles) So, this is Gotham City.
Ursa: Yep, and look. There's the Statues of Peace, Justice and Freedom.
J.T.: Hey, what's that down by the docks?
Hmmm, this looks like a job for my alter-ego.
Goon: Eh, good news, Penguin, sir, we found the eggs.
Princess Sorceress: Wow! It's Batman!
Batman: Don't even breathe.
Crimson Magician: Whoa, whoa, whoa! We're not with these guys!
Batman: Then what were you doing here?
Crimson Magician: Whenever two smugglers steal jeweled eggs down by the docks, we get curious.
Batman: Two? Lunar Paladin: Yeah, two. Wait a minute, there were two!
Goon: Floor it! Princess Sorceress: Blast! One got away!
Batman: That car was registered to Mr. Oswald C. Cobblepot.
Crimson Magician: The Penguin? There's somthin' screwy goin' on here.
Princess Sorceress: Hey, Batman. That goon dropped this egg. There's some writing on it.
Batman: It's a statement with a double meaning.
Gordon: Batman, come in. Packages containing jeweled eggs were delivered to Gotham City's elite tonight:
Judge Thompson, Attorney Kim Green, and Ann Stewart.
Ursa: C.M., did you get that? Crimson Magician: Yeah, but how did I tap into Batman’s frequency?
Ursa: Oh, I hacked it off his utility belt.
Princess Sorceress: Hey, Batman. If you could use any help, we'd sure like to pitch... in?
Well, that was very rude.
Crimson Magician: Never mind that, Princess. I think we'd better split up.
P.S., you investigate Judge Thompson's house.
Lunar Paladin, Green's. I'll take care of Stewart's. Alright everyone, fan out!
(Later, at Ann Stewart's House)
Goon: I found the egg, Mr. Penguin, sir, but it's ticking.
Penguin: Well, don't just stand dere, you fool! GET IT!
What's goin' on o'er dere?
Crimson Magician: I'm afraid your friend is a little... tied up at the moment, Penguin.
Princess Sorceress: Crimson Magician, come in. We've got good news and bad news:
The good news is, we found the eggs. Bad news is, they're bombs!
Lunar Paladin: But don't worry. We took care of 'em.
Crimson Magician: Good work, you two. (Thinking) I wonder how Batman’s doing.
(Meanwhile at the Iceberg Lounge, lair of the Penguin)
Penguin: You got somethin' o' mine, detective?
Batman: You mean these? The eggs you stole from the docks?
Penguin: Dose should be MINE!
Batman: Last I checked people still go to jail for stealing.
You're counting your eggs way before they've hatched, Penguin.
Penguin: Oh, I'll show ya how somedin's hatched. ESCAPE hatched, that is!
(Meanwhile, in the outskirts of Gotham City...)
Harvey Dent: Hmm, decisions...
Batman: Head's up, Two-Face!
Princess Sorceress: Fork over those bags! Two-Face: Of course. Here.
Princess Sorceress: IT’S TICKING!!! Two-Face: I’d stay very still, if I were you.
Crimson Magician: I always knew you were two kinds of crazy, Two-Face.
Two-Face: Of course, I am. Harvey Dent: But, at least I’m honest.
I wear both of my faces were everyone can see them. See you on the flip side!
Crimson Magician: GET DOWN, EVERYONE!!!
Batman: I didn’t need your help. Crimson Magician: I know, but I figured you could use it anyway.
Princess Sorceress: Who was that guy? Batman: Two-Face.
Crimson Magician: Man, I still can’t believe he was once District Attorney, Harvey Dent.
Y'know, until the whole... acid throwing... thing.
Lunar Paladin: And I still can't put together what Two-Face and Penguin hafta do with these eggs here.
Batman: I think I know. I'll fill you in on our way to the Statue of Justice.
Princess Sorceress: I didn't know Batman had a helicopter.
Batman: Well, what are you waiting for? You coming?
Crimson Magician: I know you can't see it, but I'm grinning under the bandanna.
Batman: Back when he was D.A., Harvey prosecuted the Penguin for stealing an egg-shaped jewel.
The Penguin's attorney, Green, got the charges dropped be secretly bribing Thompson.
Princess Sorceress: Who was the judge on the case? Batman: Ann Stewart. Crimson Magician: Who served as the Jury Forman.
Batman: Now, years later, out of guilt, these citizens have donated the statues to Gotham.
The two-faced nature of these gifts has driven Harvey mad.
Princess Sorceress: Wow, we should get Commissioner Gordon to pick those guys up.
Batman: Looks like he’s busy at the moment, Princess Sorceress.
Harvey Dent: Batman, you’re just in time to watch me hold justice itself on trial.
Two-Face: Look at her, she's so blind, she can't tell the difference between simple good and evil!
Harvey Dent: Maybe I should help her make up her mind.
Harvey Dent: I'm restoring balance to Gotham! Three statues!?
Two Face: Such an odd number. What say we make it two? After all...
Harvey: There's no justice in Gotham City!
Crimson Magician: Princess! Paladin! Get the Commissioner and Penguin!
Princess Sorceress: We’re on it! Penguin: Get ‘cha hands off a 'me, you sunova...
Crimson Magician: I'll handle this fire. Batman... Two-Face if yours.
Batman: End of the line, Two Face!
Harvey: I don’t think so. There’s always a choice to make.
Two-Face: Catch me… Harvey: Or save your precious… friends.
Princess Sorceress: I’m on it. Crimson Magician: Wait. Let’s let Batman handle it.
Batman: I chose BOTH!
Crimson Magician: Now hold still, Harv. Two-Face: LET GO OF ME!
Harvey: Wha? I'm... I'm whole again. Two-Face is gone!
Crimson Magician: If I could remove the darkness from a Light Elf,
I can remove the evil split personality of a D.A.
Batman: However, he still has to go to jail for endangering lives.
Harvey: It doesn't matter. Justice is finally served, and Penguin and his allies are behind bars.
Penguin: Oh, de indignity!
Harvey: Hmm, good side up. Maybe I can learn to turn the other cheek, when it comes to those statues.
Especially since they're now being paid for by my old friend, Bruce Wayne.
He's not like me and Two-Face. He doesn't have a double life, with a deep, dark secret to hide.
In today's episode, Two-Face put Commissioner Gordon and Penguin in danger, all because he was angry.
Now, it's okay to get angry, but it's NOT OKAY to hurt others because you're angry.
If you find yourself getting angry, calm down.
Taking deep breaths, thinking about a happy memory, exercising, and listening to music,
are all ways of calming down. See you next time!