Ethan: Aw man!
I'm so upset!
I just realized...
I went to this place last night, and this is not relevant at all,
but I got pickled carrots and pickled beans,
and I left them at Mika's house.
Mark: That's really sad. (Sarcastically) Tyler: Aw man. (Sarcastically)
Mark: Welcome back to Markiplier Makes.
This time, we're making pies.
And pies, as we all know are...
part of... American culture specifically,
and they would put mutton in there,
they would put some intestines...
Can uh... whoever is editing this,
maybe it's me.
Editor Mark: It's me.
Mark: Can you put a- can you put a- uh..
Can you put a mouse in this, and just put a lot of blood, and real gory sound effects?
Editor Mark: No.
Mark: Put a mouse in this.
(Mark laughs maniacally) (classic horror movie music plays)
Mark: Alright, I just wanted to...
Mark: That would be a really good joke.
Evolution of pie: came from meat, went to VEGETABLES first -
Not many people know this - Vegetables got their way into their pastries.
You got the carrot cakes, you got your potato cakes...
Ethan: What is your opinion on carrot cake?
Mark: I love it!
Ethan: I think it's good, and everyone gives me shit for it!
Tyler: I like carrot cake.
Mark: Why would everybody? What's wrong with-- carrot cake is delicious!
Ethan: I don't know!! It's so good! Tyler: Listen, carrot cake is delicious.
Ethan: And nobody likes it!
Mark: It's got a really rich, not too sweet taste to it.
Tyler: Especially the cinnamon and the nutmeg to it.
Mark: Oh yeah.. Ethan: It's really good-
'cause I think that most cake is like a little- a little overwhelming-
Mark: Oh, most people who have cake. It's still like, way too sweet.
Ethan: Yeah. Mark: Yeah.
Tyler: They put too much icing on it.
Ethan: Carrot cake is so good.
Mark: Like we did when we made cake.
Ethan: Yeah. Tyler: Yeah.
Ethan: Did we make cake?
Tyler: Yeah. Mark: Yeah, we did.
Mark: Let's cut to the moment where we said, "cake needs to be sweeter than hell."
And like, "everything needs to be overly sugary."
(Mark grunts and moans)
Mark: Gotta put a little more sugar!
Mark: Oh shit, that was too much sugar.
(Mark & Tyler laugh)
(classy music plays)
Mark: And now... (classy music plays)
Tyler says some Random Bullshit. (classy music plays)
Tyler: Hey listen, I had a great dream last night,
Tyler: It was about Mickey Mouse,
and he was chopping up carrots that were screaming.
So we're gonna make some pie,
we're gonna eat some pie,
and we're gonna do this all with knowing...
pies are made with love
and you need to have love to make pie.
Make pie, not love.
Ethan: Uh okay... I don't know.
Ethan: "Sex is great, but you ever have a pie?"
Mark: We have... we have pie crust mix.
We're not gonna use it.
(Spongebob "My leg!" sound effect)
(Ethan groans in dismay)
Mark: We don't need it. None of that.
Mark: Not important... That's fine.
Mark: It's really simple ingredients to make pie crust.
Mark: The important thing that I learned from all my cooking shows that I've seen,
Mark: I'm gonna keep to myself and not tell you guys.
You're on your own.
Fuck you Assholes. I'm going for it. (chuckles)
Ethan: I'm going to wash my hands,
as all good chefs should!
Ethan: (in the distance) I have.
Tyler: I already washed mine.
Mark: Wait, just rub your washed hands on my hands.
Mark: They'll be clean! (Tyler giggles)
Mark: Perfect, that's perfect. Alright, that's great.
Mark: (blows into his bowl loudly)
Ethan: Did you spit in mine?
No, not mine.
Mark: You always assume I'm doing something bad
again- against for you.
That's not true. (giggles)
Ethan: I didn't, oh I don't know why... I don't know why.
Tyler: Oh look at that...
Ethan: Anyone see this?
Mark: It doesn't help that I'm trying to measure the water
when I haven't measured anything else ever in this.
Mark: It's reaching about this consistency
which I don't think is correct.
Ethan: A measuring cup!
Where are the whisks?
Mark: I don't know. Maybe there aren't whisks, I don't know.
Ethan: There are no whisks?
Mark: I don't know.
Ethan: What kind of kitchen are we running?!
I used too much egg...
(Mark & Ethan laugh)
Mark: Did you now?
Ethan: It's just straight yellow, dude.
Maybe if I just add more of other things...
Mark: Hmm. Ethan: .. it'll make it better.
Ethan: Ugh, how much time do we have?
Mark: We have, put-- get the timer up.
Mark: We have... five minutes!
Starting now, go!
Ethan: Mine isn't good... I broke the whisk I think.
Mark: Why did you do that?
Ethan: I didn't mean to.
Mark: What are you talking about?
Mark: You need to develop the glutens.
(Mark slams dough loudly)
Ethan: I don't think this is good.
Mark: It's really yellow.
Tyler: So is mine.
Ethan: I put turmeric in it.
Tyler: How many eggs did you use?
Ethan: Three! Tyler: I put two!
Mark: I put one. Oh, darn it.
Mark: Wow, that looks like squash.
It looks like baby food.
Ethan: This is God awful!
This is really, really bad.
Tyler: Ethan, I think we're both pretty bad boys with the egg.
Ethan: Oh no! How did it get over there?
Mark: Oh my God... Oh my God!
Can I start over?
Mark: No! How much time do we got?
Tyler: Can I have some more flour, Ethan?
Ethan: I have a feeling my pie is gonna be best pie.
Tyler: You've got this Ethan, I believe in you.
Mark: My pie, best pie.
Ethan: Now THAT is a pie crust.
(Mark & Tyler laugh)
Ethan: I've never seen anything quite like this.
Marl: Y'know, me neither. I have not. You are right.
Ethan: I don't know where to go.
Mark: Add more flour, you idiot!
Ethan: Give me the flour. (Mark laughs)
Mark: I'm gonna get so many bits of paper in mine.
(Tyler & Amy giggle)
Tyler: My God!
Ethan: Don't look over here!
Get this out of my way!
(Ethan laughs) (Tyler coughs)
Ethan: What are you doing?
(Mark beats dough violently with a rolling pin)
(Mark continues to abuse dough)
Mark: I've seen this on the, uh, Discovery Channel...
Er, uh, duh...
Bir- Brish Bakin' (Great British Baking Off)
Mark: You gotta fold LAYERS of butter.
Ethan: I've never seen anything like this before.
Tyler: I've never seen that ever.
Mark: You gotta fold layers of butter! That's what it is!
Mark: That's what pastry is!
Mark: Oh... yes.
Mark: (triumphantly) Yes I am!
Mark: Oh God. Ethan: I'm feeling good.
I'm gonna have a hundred layers...
if I do a layer a second.
Ethan: This is mint dough. This dough is really up there.
Mark: "This is mint dough."
Oh God, there's butter leaking everywhere.
It's so buttery and delicious.
Oh God, oh God, oh God!
Amy: Time's up!
Mark: What?! No countdown?!
Mark & Tyler: Alright.
Mark: Pie crust...?
Mark: Did you just taste that? Ethan: Yeah.
Mark: Alright, mine's got a little butter leakage, but I think that's okay.
Ethan: Mine looks good. Mark: Now we need to let these chill.
(timer goes off)
Mark: (menacingly) It was not time's up...
(The X-Files theme plays)
Amy: It said zero!
Amy: I don't know what's happening.
Amy: I swear it said zero. Tyler: We've been cheated of precious seconds.
Ethan: Have a taste.
Mark: I'm okay, thank you.
Mark: I don't want a GIF of this to exist.
Ethan: Well it's about to...
Mark: Why'd you stick your finger in my mouth?
Ethan: For entertainment.
It's good, right?
How about your dough? Does it taste any better?
Mark: If I-- Well I'm not gonna taste my dough.
E c H!
Alright so we need to let 'em--
We need to let 'em chill.
We will now chill, for one hour, to let it chill,
and then we will be back with the
(weird accent) FILLINGSSS!
Mark: Round TWooOOOoo!
Alright, the filling is the most important part of any pie.
Tell them about it.
Ethan: OH~ If you don't have a filling in your pie,
you don't have a pie,
ffffuck-hole! (all laugh)
Mark: Alright so we need to make the filling,
but we only have so much filling.
We've got a lotta apples.
Who wants to make apple pie?
I'll do the apples. (while laughing) I've definitely got enough dough...
to do apples.
Mark: Alright man.
Ethan: I'll go whole hog.
Mark: Imma do apple, raspberry, blueberry pie.
Amy: A pie does call for three pounds of apples.
Tyler: Like I said.
Mark: No, no, no, no, this is like, what, this is like ten pounds?
Okay they're three pounds.
Mark: No! We're not gonna fight over it. Ethan: Apple!
This shit's nuts!
Mark: You didn't core it.
Ethan: I don't know how. Tyler: You didn't put the hole-- Mark: The core--
Ethan: Core me.
Mark: Core me daddy~!
Ethan: Ha ha!
This is so cool.
Make it- uh, eight minutes.
We've got eight minutes to make it.
Can you hurry the hell up?
Ethan: I'm going as fast as I can.
Mark: I'm gonna hand peel these
and we're gonna see which one of us can make it faster, okay?
Ethan: Okay, but you also have to core your apples. Mark: Yeah, I know.
Ethan: I don't think that you think it's as easy as you think it might be.
Mark: Dude, I grew up poor.
Mark: We used to core apples day in, day out. (Ethan scoffs)
Mark: You don't tell me about my heritage!
Tyler: That's how Mark fed his family. Mark: Yeah!
Mark: That's how we made money, selling them. The cores.
Tyler: They just ate the cores that he cored.
Mark: Well, no. That's how my family died from all the cyanide.
Tyler: What? Ethan: The only cores
Ethan: that I do is the nice refreshing taste of... Mark: Cyanide is naturally--
Mark: Shut up! Shut up! Science! Science facts!
Z O O M !
In apple seeds, there's naturally occurring cyanide,
and if you eat enough apple seeds,
you will die
(distorted music plays)
Mark: There's one coming up baby!
Ethan: Third one coming up, baby!
But how many do you have cored?
Mark: All of 'em, in my heart.
Ethan: That's incorrect.
Mark: No, I just can't bring myself to core 'em.
For the memories of my lost family,
who all died from cyanide poisoning.
'Cause I do.
Fourth coming up!
Ethan: Okay, but you don't have any of them cored!
Mark: Yeah, well how long do you think it's gonna take me to core them, huh?
Ethan: A long time!
Mark: What time is it? What time we have?
Call it out every minute.
Please? Thank you. Thank you Amy.
Mark: Amy, thank you!
Tyler: Thank you Amy.
Mark: Thank you. Amy, thank you! You're so helpful.
Mark: Thank you.
Mark: Fifth one coming up baby!
(quietly) Shush, shush! Don't talk about it.
Amy: (while laughing) That's mine!
Ethan: It's okay, it's okay.
Take the ad rev from this video.
Mark: Ethan, did you do something naughty over there?
Ethan: Hehe, nothing, papa!
Mark: He did?
Ethan: I didn't.
Tyler: I feel like we need more time.
Mark: No, we don't need more time!
Everyone always says that we need more time.
We don't need more time!
Mark: We don't need more time.
Mark: Can you-- Tyler, would you be a doll and turn my heat on my stove?
Tyler: What level would you like?
Mark: I would like a medium,
maybe just above medium.
Mark: Oh shit!
I've got seven cores,
and seven whores!
Amy, that's a lie. I don't have any whores,
that was a lie.
(Mark sings opera)
Tyler: I appreciate your singing while you slice.
(Mark continues to sing)
Ethan: I don't know what to do!
Ethan: My mom's calling me.
Mark: Alright, yeah, well you better answer it.
Tyler: Maybe she'll tell you how to make pie.
Ethan: I can't answer it.
Mark: Yeah you can.
Ethan: No, I can't. Mark: Why not?
Ethan: It's impossible.
Mark: Why? Ethan: It's impossible.
Mark: Why? Ethan: It's impossible.
Mark: Why? Ethan: It's just impossible.
Mark: Why? Ethan: It's just simply impossible.
Amy: Four minutes.
Ethan: I just simply cannot.
(classy music plays)
Mark: And now... (classy music plays)
Ethan uses a knife (classy music plays)
improperly... (classy music plays)
Ethan: That's working.
Tyler: You know what-- Ooh!
Mark: Yes, what?
Tyler: You're gonna burn blueberries to the stove top.
Mark: No, I'm just sabotaging you. Why? What? What's up?
Ethan: How much time?
Mark: Enough time.
Mark: I need this!
Mark: I need it! x4 Tyler: Ow!
Ethan: Now I just sit and wait.. Tyler: Here!
Ethan: Popped mine in the microwave.. Mark: No!
Ethan: Should be good.
No! Who did--?!
Why is it on the--?!
Tyler: You accidentally turned it to high!
Mark: Wait! No! No- don't-- No!
What's it-- doing-- The middle's on!
I turned it on, I just didn't know which one--
Mark: doH DoHhH
How much time?
Mark: If I like, breathe on this, it'll go hotter.
(Ethan chomps apple) (Mark breathes heavily in the background)
Mark: Sweet. Tyler: Wait...
Tyler: Are you microwaving your apples? (laughs)
Mark: Wha-- Dude, it's not going.
It just keeps going back and forth.
Amy: Time's up!
Ethan: It just keeps on going. (giggles)
Mark: Alright, utensils down!
(Tyler taps utensil on the pot)
Mark: This is a- this is a prototype Cloak!
Ethan: It's water, it's a test. Mark: It's the only that ever exists of it!
Ethan: It's the water test.
Mark: Alright, now we're done. Tyler: Your heat is still on.
What are you talking about? No, this is a hot surface.
Camera Man: Ethan.
Mark: Sorry no, that's not off.
Ethan: Why is the microwave on? (giggles) Stop!
Mark: We've got our ingredients...
Mark: We've got our ingredients... (Tyler laughs)
Mark: Look, now is time for the coup de grâce.
We gotta make these pies, we gotta get them in the oven,
and then we gotta bake them.
That's how this works, right?
Okay, we're gonna roll these out,
shape 'em to the tin, put our filling in,
and then we've got ourselves a pie.
Alright we have five minutes to get it in, our filling in, and in the oven.
Ethan: Sounds fair. Mark: Sounds fair.
Mark: This asshole took the rolling pin that I got out.
It's only fair, it's only fair.
Ethan: (quietly) Fair is fair. Mark: Fair IS fair.
Mark: Okay. You can have it back now. Tyler: Thank you.
Ethan: I would like it.
Mark: So you can do the windowpane test to see if there's been enough gluten developed.
I can't see through this,
therefore it passes the windowpane test.
Ethan: Wait, are you supposed to see through it?
Mark: No. That's why it's called a windowpane.
Mark: Can't see through that bad boy at all!
Tyler: Can you see my face? I can't.
Ethan: Can you see my face?
Tyler: Are you my-- Ethan: Oopsies.
Mark: Are you my mommy? Are you my daddy?
Mark: Right? You know you.
Ethan: I hate you.
(Mark & Ethan laugh)
Mark: yeah yeah okay...
THIS IS HOT STUFF! Coming through!
You can move your plate of apples, you know that right?
Ethan: Impossible? Mark: The what?
Mark: See I'm using a slotted spatula,
to drain a lot of the juices out of the way.
so that it's not quite so soggy.
Ethan: (quietly) So it doesn't have a soggy...
Mark: F- WHO PUT THE FLOUR THERE?
WHO'S SABOTAGING MY VIEW?
Tyler: Ethan didn't put it back...
Ethan: you fucking snitch... Mark: you fuckin cock... (all laugh)
Mark: so it was you!!!
Ethan: Can I have it next please?. Mark: No.
Ethan: You've already made your pie.
Mark: No I haven't. Ethan: Yeah you have!
Ethan: You got it there!
Mark: Y-yeah well
Ethan: An open faced pie! Mark: An open faced...
Ethan: Do I need to have enough!
For the top?
(Ethan pounds fists into table)
Ethan: Oh that's 'hururael'.
Mark: That's 'hururael'?
Ethan: I haven't eaten anything today, I'm gonna have a stoke.
Mark: There's CHEESE!
Why didn't you have cheese?
Oh, I said you couldn't have cheese. That's right.
MOVE YOUR PLATE AND MOVE OVER!
Ethan: (faintly) I can't, oh my God...
Mark: Can you see me? Big knife coming through.
Ethan: (quietly) Ah you moved the plate.
Mark: Pfft. God, I hate you so much sometimes.
Ethan: You ever just give up completely?
Mark: No never! Ethan: you ever just think-
Ethan: You ever just think there's no hope at all?
Mark: Never give up never!
Mark: How much?
Ethan: Come on slow pokes, I'm already done.
Mark: Why did I do that? That was a terrible id-
Mark: Okay Jesus lover.
Tyler: It's supposed to be a T!
Mark: oh yeah sure, that's a T!
Ethan: If I had more time, if I had five more seconds maybe, this would have been perfect.
Mark: You had five seconds Ethan: No I didn't Mark: yOu HaF-
Mark: You- you pounced around there for 30.
Mark: (as Ethan) YoU EvEr GiVe uP?
GiVE uP oN LiFE-
YoU EvEr JuSt GivE uP BrO?
WhAt uP yO?
Tyler: That was too deep Mark.
Mark: (as Tyler) YoU'd EvER JuST GiVE uP oN KiDnEYs?
aNY ThiNG WiTh a KnEE iN iT?
Tyler: If it has an E.
Mark: iF iT EvEr GoES nn EE
Ethan: your pie looks shitty.
Mark: Your face looks shitty. Ethan: Hey!
Mark: This is pre-oven.
Get out of the way, this is thumbnail material.
Mark: get out of the way!
Flour On ME!
Mark: get out of the way!
Mark: PRE, It's bloodnt
Mark: I call the center rack! Tyler: Ah! Dangit!
Ethan: Don't burn yourself.
Mark: I would never!
Who do you think I am? How do you think I is?
Camera Man: That's a good looking pie Ethan.
Mark: Alright they're going in. You guys determine how long
Two hours-- you didn't even use your apples.
Mark: I made snacks for us, after we were done in celebration.
Mark: So the pies have been baking for a bit.
Mark: I want Tyler to see... this.
Alright why don't you open that oven to see what you're dealing with?
Tyler: OHH... (laughs)
Tyler: I made uh- a fruit cake. Mark: Yeah you did.
Mark: Yeah you did all that flour was...
Tyler: Hey I had to thicken it somehow!
Ethan: Are we taking them out?
Mark: No no no no no, Tyler: That's- that's-
you take 'em out when you're done. Tyler: That's beautiful.
Tyler: I think I'm done.
Mark: you're happy with that? Tyler: Yeah.
Camera man: Can you present it really quick? Let me see that.
Tyler: Smells good.
Mark: You a quitter? huh? Ethan: No I'm not quitting, I'm ready.
Mark: You quitting? You a quitter?
Ethan: that looks so-- (laughs) Mark: oh my God..
Mark: That looks like you cut off someone's face
and put it on your pie (laughs)
Mark: That is horrifying!
Ethan: That's true!
Mark: That's horrible. Ethan: It's a masterpiece.
Mark: Mine smells good because it's got character, love.
You guys didn't love your pies.
Ethan: That's not love? Tyler: Well mine does rose to the challenge.
Mark: Look, listen, I know what love looks like, and that does not look like love.
That looks like a curse.
Tyler: that looks like the opposite of love.
Mark: That's a pie made of human skin.
Tyler: I like- I like the extra thin and thick parts.
Mark: Excuse me.
Ethan: It's kinda like a pizza crust.
Mark: I'm gonna give it just another two seconds.
(Mark smacks lips)
I didn't say the seconds had to be sequential...
Mark: Ahhh that's beautiful.
Tyler: (laughs) Toss it back in the oven!
Ethan: What does it look like on the inside?
Mark: Ooo that's a pretty pie.
Tyler: looks like it was done-
Mark: What are you talkin-- that's a Pretty Pie!
This is a pretty pie!
Tyler: I have to say-
Ethan: It's the prettiest of the bunch.
Tyler: your top is beautiful
Mark: Bring the pies over!
Ethan: Ooo these do look tasty.
Oh we gotta get some forks and knives.
Tyler: Ah I think, I think that's exactly what pies do, they settle.
Mark: (in French accent) The soufflé has fallen!
Ah what a tragedy.
Tyler: Ah it's leathery.
Mark: (in French accent) Leathery is a good texture.
Mark: Okay, before we dig into our delicious-- Tyler: Wait, we need plates.
Ethan: Our delicious PIES!
Mark: Yeah, let's get a nice shot of us all holding up our pies.
for the lovely camera.
It's very hot.
Mark: Arg. Ach.
Ah it's so hot... I got it, take it, get it up, Tyler get it up.
Ah it's so hot!
Here we go! (smiles through the pain)
Okay okay! I think that was good.
Mark: Alright. Ethan: What are we? What are the categories?
Mark: Let's do some initial judgments just before.
Tyler: Appearance? Mark: Appearance.
Mark: What looks like the most appetizing, the one you'd wanna dig into.
Ethan: that pie.
Tyler: I mean that pie (Mark's) is beautiful, I think presentation on that pie is,
but this (Tyler's) shows some fruitiness, which makes me wanna eat it.
That (Ethan's) scares me.
Mark: That- that literally, that terrifies me.
Like if it did the thing in cartoons, where it did the wafty,
and I was like drawn by the smell,
Mark: and then I saw that... Ethan: It does just look like a face.
Ethan: It's so awful.
Mark: Yeah I know that's y'know... Ethan: oh nooo
Mark: Food is very important about how it looks, but man...
Mark: That is the most repulsive thing I've seen.
I gotta say that does look good though, but I would've liked
to have like more of a cross-hatching on that.
Tyler: Like a lattice? Mark: Yeah, this texture looks great,
Mark: but yeah a lattice, even if you couldn't do the interweaving.
just like blah, blah blah, blah, blah, blah.
I think that would've made it look a lot more appealing.
cuz it is just a lot of open space.
Mark: that being said, and this is not just me being greedy,
Mark: this did turn out nicely.
Ethan: It's got a nice crust.
I think these-
Ethan: I think these...
Mark: This side?
Ethan: throw me off a little bit.
Amy: Could you turn it?
Mark: Oh- oh okay I see what you're talking about, yeah.
Now how's it?
Amy: It looks better! Mark: There we go see? Amy: I can see the layers!
Mark: And if you push on it, it poofs steam out.
Ethan: It's like a train. Tyler: yeah... yeah... mine... Mark: CHOO CHOO!
Mark: Here comes da tasty twain! Tyler: Mine doesn't do that.
Ethan: Here comes da tasty twain! (laughs)
Mark: heRE CoMEs dA tASty TWaiN!
If that talks to me before I eat it, I'm gonna be very upset.
Ethan: Aaah it's a face!
Mark: Okay, so on initial appearance. I get the win on that one?
Tyler: Yeah, presentation-wise.
Mark: Yeah, okay so lets go- lets plate it
Mark: You-- whoever wants to go first.
Ethan: I'll go first. Tyler: Okay. Mark: Yeah, kill that thing.
Ethan: A little crusty.
Mark: You wanna make sure you get some tin in there.
Ethan: Make it taste better, who knows?
maybe this tastes really good, I don't think so.
Mark: Probably, maybe?
Oh no, oh no.
Ethan: Hey! that looks okay. Mark: Oh God.
Mark: It looks PRETTY awful, actually. Ethan: No!
Mark: I don't wanna be... Ethan: Take off the tail, that doesn't look that bad.
Mark: That looks like a really dry piece of pie, but it does look--
Ethan: Listen, just take the pie.
Tyler: Just to have other options...
Ethan: What was it again? Tyler: We gotta cut multiple slices.
Mark: This is everything, this is-- Ethan: Except for apples.
Mark: No apples are in here.
Ethan: Oh yeah.
Mark: But they're big chunks so that's what I didn't get,
there are large chunks of apple.
Flaky! It must be the layers.
Tyler: Ooh, that looks good.
Amy: It does look like it's layered! It really does on the top!
Ethan: That's promising!
Mark: That looks pretty good actually, shockingly.
It's a little too crispy.
The outside edges that drooped over, they did- they did crisp up quite a bit.
Ethan: We're about to find out.
Mark: Alright, get outta there. C'mon, begone demon, c'mon, there we go.
Ethan: It doesn't look awful
Mark: It doesn't look AWFUL.
It's a bit thin, it didn't have as much filling as I would've liked,
but I think having more filling would've made it more robust,
and maybe like, kept it from drying out a bit, but that's my plate.
Ethan: It's good.
Mark: Man it smells a bit of Play-Doh.
Ethan: It smells just like Play-Doh.
Mark: Oh wow, someone didn't love this.
Ethan: No love. Mark: This doesn't have any knees in it does it?
Mark: Okay that does look good.
Ethan: Not a very generous piece though!
Mark and I cut out big boys!
Mark: I think by its volume.
Mark: Now this being said right here, the layering does look...
the pastry on the bottom does look good,
but I just wish there was something on the top.
Mark: Okay so from plating,
I gotta give it to Tyler, that's plated super well.
Tyler's is holding its shape, probably that flour.
Mine just didn't have enough volume, and it's gooshing out the sides anyway.
Ethan: See, but the inside doesn't look that bad. (laughs)
Tyler: It's a little thin but it doesn't look bad.
Mark: See where mines overly juicy, yours is the opposite.
Ethan: It's a little too dry.
Mark: It somehow sucked up all of the moisture out of there.
Ethan: I like the tail!
Mark: I don't. Tyler: I really don't...
Ethan: So now it all comes up to taste, this is my category fellas.
Mark: Heh, alright.
Mark: I guess I'll try yours first.
Tyler: Aren't we all three trying it?... Oh God.
Tyler: We need- we need more pieces than one.
Ethan: Take a big heap.
H E A P A S S
Mark: No one gets that joke yet. Ethan: Oh. Little crunchy?
Mark: It's like pita bread?
Mark: The filling's okay,
except the fact it tastes like worse apple?
Mark: But it's not-- Ethan: Well I did microwave them.
Mark: That might be it, it's not,
like, if I had that at a restaurant
I would be so mad, but,
if my friend cooked that for me, I would...
secretly be mad,
but I wouldn't say it to their face,
it's not so bad that I would openly insult them,
you know what I mean?
Ethan: (giggles) Okay, it's almost there because this is-
Ethan: That scenario is what is happening now. Mark: Yeah yeah.
Ethan: Is that I made this for you
Mark: Yeah no, if you just came over to my house and was like,
"I baked you a pie!"
I'd be so happy that you baked me a pie,
but then secretly afterwards, I'd just want you to leave,
cuz I would debate whether it was a trick,
y'know what I mean?
Tyler: And honestly the filling just tastes like mushy apple.
Mark & Ethan: Yeeeaaah...
Tyler: You got it like, spot on with the pita bread,
but it's like a toasted pita bread.
Ethan: Not good pita bread. Tyler: No.
Tyler: Like, I would eat the filling by itself, but it'd just be like--
Ethan: Try the tail now, the tail's really where the flavor comes from.
Tyler: Alright here we go.
(sounds of disgust)
Mark: I gotta try that.
Tyler: It's fine like on first crunch and then... no.
Mark: It kinda turns to ash in your mouth.
Amy: I think you're cursed.
Mark: Oh yeah we're cursed oh yeah, oh no.
Did you change this out for human flesh?
Ethan: I'm hungry.
Mark: Well, there's better pies, just wait.
Ethan: You don't know that yet.
this looks really good, I like the way the--
Mark: I actually got some layers out of that, I'm shocked.
Tyler: Yeah. Ooo that is some good crust.
Ethan: I love how shaky your hand was going up, so nervous.
Tyler: The crust is a bit chewy, but the filling is really good.
It's the right amount of sugar and the right amount of fruit mixture, and you can taste
all the different fruits, and it's really good.
I like your filling a lot.
Ethan: Wow that filling is really, really good. Tyler: Right?
Mark: Yeah? Is it? let me try
Ethan: The crust is a little chewy, once you get under the initial...
Mark: Yeah I can already tell.
Ethan: If you made this pie for me like you did right now, I'd be like--
it's not like-- you got some work to do, but that's a good start.
Tyler: I would be like,
You did great on the filling,
Tyler: but the crust needs work. Mark: Yeah.
Tyler: And like I would just take that crust off and eat that filling straight,
that's really good filling.
Mark: Yeah, you're right, that filling, I somehow got the sweetness right,
cuz it tastes really good.
Ethan: Alright last but not least.
Mark: You've actually made pies before, right?
Tyler: I made one pie
and followed the recipe, it was a caramel-apple pie with a little bit of doctoring,
and I did a lattice crust.
and you and Amy ate it, you both liked it.
Mark: Oh did we? Tyler: Mm-hm.
Mark: I don't remember..
Tyler: You went back for a second slice.
Mark: I bet I did.
Ethan: That's really good. That's really good.
The filling is really good,
It's hard to get...
It's hard to know what the crust is like,
because there's not much there,
but with all the filling on top of it, it's hard to tell what the crust is like.
Mark: He's right, but the filling is good.
Ethan: The filling is really good.
Mark: The filling is quite good.
Not cakey like I thought it was gonna be.
And the crust...
that I do get,
it's a little on the chewy side, but it's not nearly as bad as that.
Tyler: I'm really intrigued by this.
Tyler: Hot. Mark: Yup.
Tyler: Yeah that is really good though.
Ethan: You know what Tyler, I would like a slice of your pie.
Ethan: I'll eat a whole slice. Mark: I'm gonna stick with my pie.
Tyler: I liked your pie.
Ethan: I would not like to stick with my pie.
Mark: Alright, so far as winner goes,
Mark: Overall I gotta say Tyler got this. Ethan: Yeah.
Mark: You didn't win anything.
I can't think of a single redeeming quality about your creation.
Ethan: Scare factor.
Mark: That is true, if it were Halloween,
you'd be winning it.
Mark: So that is it for this Markiplier Makes,
Thank you Ethan, thank you Tyler for being here with us.
And thank you everybody so much for watching.
We don't just have to stop here,
there's other kinds of pies we can make.
We can make pumpkin pie, keylime pie...
we can milk this category for all its worth.
So thank you everybody so much--
We can try meringue!
Tyler: We could try cheesecake which we--
Was it ever determined to be a cake or--
It was determined as a cake right?
Mark: I don't care.
Either way, let us know other things we can make down in the comments below.
Check out all the other 'Markiplier Makes' in the description.
And thank you guys for watching.
And as always, we'll see you in the next video.
Tyler & Ethan: Bye!