- I'm Kristin.
This has been Storytime with Kristin.
It's Kristin time.
Welcome to Ladylike Storytime, with me, Kristin.
All of us on Ladylike have lots of really fun, silly stories
that we tell each other,
and so, we thought it would be really fun
to tell them with you guys.
I decided to kick off the first storytime.
Hopefully, you all like it,
and then we can do some more.
So, if there are other people
you'd like to have tell stories,
let us know in the comments.
So, today I'm gonna tell you a story
that I posted on Twitter about a year and a half ago
that went like slightly viral.
This is a story I like to tell at parties,
usually while drunk,
the story of the most embarrassing moment
I ever had with my dad.
When I was 17, I was looking at colleges,
and I went on a college tour with my dad.
The college tour had a bunch of cute boys and their parents,
and there was a tour guide
who was maybe a woman in her early 20s
and she was taking us across campus.
And we reached this building on campus that looked very old.
And she gestured to the building and said,
"This building is the oldest building on campus.
"It originally housed the school of horology.
"Does anyone know what the study of horology is?"
And it's silent.
And I turn and I look at my dad,
and he's making this face
like he has got a really funny joke right ready to go.
And I'm like, oh no.
And my dad raised his hand,
and he says, "Is horology the study of cheerleading?"
And it's like, (crickets chirping)
Literally, everyone's faces were like,
like who is this old asshole calling people bad things?
I wanted to turn into a different form of matter.
I literally was just like, I can't go to this school now.
I have to pick another school.
The tour guide looks mortified.
She has not been prepared for any of this shit,
so the tour guide says to my dad,
"No, horology is actually the study of clock making."
And so, we move on with the tour,
but I can tell my dad is a little miffed
that nobody got his super funny joke.
But I'm furious.
I'm so mad at my dad for doing this
that when I get home, I immediately tattle on him to my mom.
I was angry, but when I told my mom what happened,
she was furious.
My mom was seven layer dip angry,
furious, angry, mad, pissed,
devastated, a little sad, and then maybe gassy.
My mom turns to my dad and is like,
"What were you thinking?
"Are you insane?
"Are you out of your mind?
"Why would you think this was appropriate?"
And my dad kinda looks at her and is like,
"I don't get what the big deal was.
"I thought it was just a funny joke."
My dad does not apologize
because my dad does not think
that he has done anything wrong.
We end up dropping the subject,
but I never really quite get over it.
It always just kind of hangs out in the back of my mind
as a thing that my dad did
that I was not super happy about.
Fast forward to many years later,
one Christmas, my dad and I are drinking.
My parents have been divorced by then for some time.
And it was just bothering me.
Like, when you're drunk and you're just like,
"I just really need to know the answers to these questions."
And so, I turn to my dad and I'm like,
"I have to know.
"Why did you think it was okay
"for you to make that joke on my college tour?
"What about that did you think was funny?"
And my dad gives me the most confused look
I have ever seen in my entire life, and he says,
"You know, horology, like hurrah hurrah,"
he says making pom pom gestures for emphasis,
And I'm like, "What?
"That is not what anyone thought you said.
"You are the only person who got that joke."
It was like everything that I had ever believed to be true
had just come crashing down
because I thought my dad
had made this horribly offensive joke
and actually it was just a bad joke.
I tried to explain to my dad
what people actually thought he said
and he was like, "What?
"No, no one thought that."
He didn't believe that anyone else
heard it the way I heard it.
He thought that everyone just thought it was a dumb dad joke
and that they just weren't going to
acknowledge its brilliance.
He was just like, "Oh, no one thought that.
"You have a crazy imagination."
And he just sort of continued drinking
and toddled into the kitchen,
and we never talked about it again.
So, this is a story about why you should probably ask people
what they mean when they say things
you think are offensive
'cause it could be that you harbor a grudge about a thing
that really wasn't that big of a deal at the time.
And that concludes the story of the most embarrassing moment
I ever had with my dad
and probably the most disastrous dad joke of all time.