Practice English Speaking&Listening with: 40 and Fancy Free

Difficulty: 0

- Previously on "The Real Housewives of New Jersey"...

- Push, you're gonna walk right down. Good girl.


- You don't turn 40 every day.

We're not working on a budget.

- Where's your mother? - She's abandoned us.

- Marge Senior took a book keeping job in the city.

We barely see her.

- I already told him, say you lose this appeal,

you better fight it until the supreme court,

because I will never forgive you

if you don't fight it till the end.

- "Mrs. Merriam-Webster,

please define 'stalker' for me."

- Wow. - I'm on fire.

Teresa said, "Make fun of Jackie,"

and Jennifer goes in.

- She felt like it was, like, a form of bullying.

- Oh, really?

If anything, I should say she was bullying me.

- What do you think of all the stories

of Teresa out with this guy?

- If it walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck...

- I was just betrayed by my boyfriend and my friend.

- You can't keep damaging other people's lives.

- I'm not gonna sit here with trash.

----ing whore.

- She felt like all four of yous are going at her.

- I gotta go, because, just ----ing, she's evil.

You gotta see it, Teresa.

- If you can't take the truth...

Ah! Sue me.

- As I always say... Hi!

Plastic makes perfect.

- Mirror, mirror on the wall. [laughs]

I don't think I look 40 at all.

- Don't let the minivan fool you,

this mom won't roll over for anyone.

- Behind every strong man

is a stronger Jersey girl.

- If you rub me the wrong way...

Bang! There'll be no more namaste.

[bright instrumental music]

[upbeat music]

- Hey, Christian. - He looks really small.

I'm getting down. - What are you guys doing?

Oh, my God, get down from there! Get down!


- Mom, we're not savage kids.

- All right, tell me a funny joke.

- What's a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu?

- What? - A bullsh--!

- Guys, this conversation

is going somewhere I don't want it to go.

- Frank? - What?

- I need help. - The hell is that?

- It's a faja.

Women wear it to, like, train their waist and stuff.

- I don't know about this.

- Wait, wait, if I lay down... - Holy Christ.

- Frank, don't say God's name in vain.

- I'm sorry. Ay-yi-yi.

[kids giggling]

- Gino... - [laughs]

- Hey, hey!

Easy. - Come on.

- Look at this girl. She's lucky.

Happy birthday to you

- Wow, look at this.

- Happy birthday... - Wow!

- To my little 40-year-old queen

- [chuckles] This is nice. Thank you, honey.

- You feel old? How do you feel?

- I feel very established at 40.

Turning 40,

yeah, I don't like the number part about it,

but I'm exactly where I wanna be.

I've mastered being a mom...

I love you. Give me a kiss. [smooching]

I've mastered being a wife.

I love that I own a business.

I can't even fit everything in this store anymore.

My problem is I wanna order more and more,

'cause obviously, our online has been, like, blowing up.

I mean, even my husband has to admit

that I'm a pretty badass business woman.

I am successful!

Deal with it, bitch!


I feel good about 40.

- Are you excited about your big bash tomorrow?

- Uh-huh.

- Everything's about a vibe... - Okay.

- And I know you want super sexy...

- Yes. - But classy, never trashy.

- He's doing the whole entire party.

He's got the food, he's got the alcohol, the decor.

We just have to write the check.

- Mm.

- But as excited as I am,

I also know that no one's really, like, getting along,

and it's like, I hope it's not the night

where everyone wants to hash it out.

- I hope not, with all the money we're spending.

- It's like a big, hot mess with all my friends right now.

[funky music]

- Love you.

Don't you want to be in bed with your mother?

Obviously, you don't.

- It's not for you.

- Look how cute she is in the morning.

- I know. Here, take a slurp.

- I'm so exhausted. - You should be.

- Come on. Come on... - [screaming]

- You got it.

- Do you wanna see something horrific?

- Holy crap. - Okay, look at that.

You think it's a blood clot? - It's not a blood clot.

- My little muscles are sore. You gotta rub my legs.

'Cause, you know why, later we gotta go

help Marge Senior find an apartment.

- It's unbelievable. - Marge Senior calls me.

"Margaret, I got a letter from my landlord after 20 years."

He claims he has to move in his sister.

She might have to stay her for a while.

- No.

Listen, I don't care how exhausted you are,

we have to find her a place, 'cause I don't think

the two of us could handle your mother in here every day.

- I know.

It should be fun and exciting

to go apartment hunting with Marge Senior,

because I don't get to hang out with her that much.

It's weird when you're with your mother

every single day for many years,

she works for you,

and then, all of a sudden, she's like, "See ya."

It's so typical of Marge Senior.

"Oh, you're tired? You're exhausted?

Well, I gotta find an apartment."

- That's your mom. - Yeah. [laughs]

Not only am I physically drained,

I'm, like, mentally drained after yesterday.

- After four years of having an affair with Joe,

you decide to dignify Jim with a divorce?

- First of all, prostitutes (BLEEP) married men,

and you've ----ed a lot more married men than I have.

So, she goes out in a hysteria.

Who chases after her?

Teresa. - Why?

- I think Teresa is definitely confused

about who her real friends are.

So, you know, we have Melissa's party.

That'll be the first time I'm seeing Teresa

since I huffed out.

I don't even wanna see Teresa now.

- Margaret's really upset.

She cannot understand

how Teresa could take Danielle's side over her.

- Right. I don't know. - You know?

- I think Margaret is a great friend.

Teresa should understand

that Danielle is like this black cloud,

and ruins everything.

- Yeah.

So, on top of that,

Teresa and Jackie aren't getting along.

- You know what I think is bullying?

Her saying that I was cheating.

That's ----ing assassination of character.

That's ----ed up. No, that's ----ed up!

- Jackie has to understand

that people just put that stuff out there.

The cheating rumors? It just looks that way.

- No, I know, listen, I believe Teresa.

But, you know how Teresa is, she's pissed.

So, Teresa didn't want Jackie to come to the obstacle course,

and Jackie didn't like that.

- I want her to calm the (BLEEP) down,

so that I can stop hating her.

- So, I hope that nothing goes down at the birthday party

between the two of them.

- Who knows with Teresa? She--you know, she--

- Sometimes, Teresa just snaps, like, at the weirdest times.

- I'm gonna sit down, talk to Teresa.

She's got so much going on. She's just worried about...

- Well, that's what it is.

- The things that are serious in her life.

I know my sister and her temper...

I just don't want her to do something stupid.

When she's under pressure, she's like a ticking time bomb.

- I feel like you're probably the only one

that can get through to her at this point.

Tell her that she's, like, not thinking straight.

[hip-hop music]

- What are you making, baccala?

- Yes. - Can I try a little bit?

- Yeah.

- Oh, my God, that's absolutely delicious.

[phone jingling]

- This is a free call from an inmate

at Clinton County Correctional Facility.

- Hi, hon. - What's going on, babe?

- Nothing. What's going on? - Same old sh-- here.

- [speaking Italian] - Huh?

- My father's like, "You wanna come over and eat?"

- Yeah.

Did you put in the visiting forms for us?

'Cause the girls wanna come and see you.

- Are you okay?

- You don't know if that's gonna happen.

- All right, can you not say that, Joe?

- The phone calls are just getting very draining.

- Oh, my God.

We don't want him to suffer,

but he's put us through all this,

so he needs to sit there now as long as it takes,

and fight, especially for his daughters.

- You have one minute left.

- All right.

I can't take all this drama.

- [sighs]

- Coming up...

- You should be a little considerate of me sometimes.

I just don't wanna be kicked to the curb.

[dramatic music]

[upbeat rock music]

- I guess we can leave the car here.

Ma, take your keys. - Yeah, I'm gonna lock it.

- Oh, my God, I'm not meant for this.

- It's a small car. Let Joe out.

- [laughs] - Oh, my God.


Let's go to a chiropractor now.

I'm shaking. I can't think.

- He does a lot of complaining, Joe.

Go, Marge Senior. - Oh, thank you.

- Hi, welcome. - Hi, I'm Margaret Kiss.

I have an appointment with Ben. - Pleasure to meet you.

Please have a seat, I'll let him know you're here, thanks.

- Okay. - Thank you.

- Thank you. [both sigh]

- This is nice. - It is.

This is significantly closer to the city.

The ferry is, like...

- It's right down the street. - Right down the street.

- Hi, guys, hi, I'm Ben. - Hi, how are you?

- I'm Joe. - Hi, Ben. Margaret Josephs.

- Margaret, nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.

How are you? - Ben, nice to meet you.

- Hi. Lovely to meet you. Welcome to The Duchess.

- Thank you. - Please, come with me.

- Okay, great. - Sure, thank you.

- Thank you. - Go ahead, Marge Senior.

- Oh, beautiful. - Welcome.

- Oh, I like it, Marge Senior. - I do.

- So, this is our one-bedroom layout.

It's 900 square feet.

Um, $3,350 a month.

- This bedroom is great. - The view is great.

It's a beautiful apartment.

But I feel this is kinda small.

- It is small.

- Sounds like you need more space.

You wanna take a look at another one?

- Sure. - Go, fancy pants.

I'm sure this is gonna be fabulous.

- Oh, yeah, it is fabulous. - Wow.

- What's the square footage?

- This one is 1,600 square feet.

- Now, this bedroom is what I'm talking about.

This is perfect.

- This is a two-bedroom, right?

- This is actually a three-bedroom.

- How much is this one a month?

- This is $5,025 a month. - Okay.

Ma, you don't need something this big.

- Uh, this is good for the shoes.

- "Practical" is not a word in Marge Senior's vocabulary.

Ma, do you really wanna spend on a three-bedroom?

You'll spend all your money,

and then I'll have to kick in a lot.

Let's face it, I'm the parent in this relationship,

meaning I'm the responsible one.

Ben, is there a two-bedroom option that has this vibe?

- So, right now, the only options we have available

are the ones we looked at today.

However, we do have some coming up in the future.

I'd be happy to show you guys then.

- All right, so, we gotta hurry it along a little bit.

- I've saved the best for last.

- Wow. This is so gorgeous.

- You would like to live in here.

- I think so.

- Well, if you have any other questions,

feel free to let me know.

Bye-bye, bye, guys, thank you.

- Nice to meet you, thanks, bye-bye.

- This is beautiful. - I like it.

But I think we just have to look a few other places.

- Could we do it on another day?

Because I have to go to an event

at 5:00 in the city.

- You should be a little considerate of me sometimes.

I take the day off of work to go do the apartments.

I thought we were gonna go out for lunch after this.

You're in the city all the time now, and me--

- Yes, I am in the city all the time.

It's been fun.

It keeps me busy, and it keeps my brain active.

- No, I want your brain active.

I just don't wanna be kicked to the curb.

Marge Senior somehow always thinks

that I have nothing else going on,

and when she needs me, I better drop everything.

Seems quite selfish, but, you know, that's Marge Senior.

- All right.

- All right, Marge Senior, let's go.

- Hopefully, we'll find something soon,

otherwise I'll have to move in with you.

- All right, we're gonna find something soon.

[dynamic music]

- [sighs]

- I'm hungry. - I'm starving.

- How are you? It's so good to see you.

- Oh, how are you? How are you doing?

- I'm good. Right this way... - Good.

- Follow me. - Okay, sure, hon.

They even got the wine ready for us.

- Yeah. - I smell the food.

I'm so hungry. Oh, my God. - Oh, this is great.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

- Um, what'd you do today?

- I went with your mother to Costco.

They started this sale today. - What'd you get?

- Uh, clothes for the kids.

- Oh, good. - Cheers.

- So, you had fun. Cheers, Dad.

- God bless, hon. I'm glad you found a time.

- Oh, Dad, I love spending time with you.

- Oh, yeah, yeah.

- Okay, right off the bat, we'll get that.

- Oh, Dad...

- Listen, this is all healthy.

- It's not, it's fried. - This is vegetables.

- Recently, my dad went for a routine eye exam,

and the doctor found some plaque behind his eye.

Then they find out he had three clogged arteries.

- I'm going to take that.

That's what he should be having.

My dad was very lucky.

His condition is called the widow maker,

because, usually, you don't find out you have it

until you're dead.

You know what, I think that you and Mommy

don't really know what you should eat.

When's the last time you ate a vegetable?

Tell the truth.

It's gotta change.

- I'm gonna go exercise.

- You're full of sh--.

- I gotta go to rehab tomorrow...

- So, because you're going to rehab the next day,

you're gonna have a big plate of pasta and sausage right now?

- I think that's appropriate.

- You d-- [both laugh]

My dad's a pretty tough guy.

He was in the Marines. He was a cop.

He became the chief of police in Paterson.

My dad's been dragged by cars.

My dad's been shot at.

- I'm not gonna cut everything out.

- My brother and I know how he thinks,

because we've been in law enforcement.

My dad might think he's indestructible at this point.

Yes, thank you.

Tell me about the hospital, about your therapy then.

- My doctors are great. I love them.

- Have you seen David? - Yes.

He doesn't stop working. - No.

- Are you comfortable with that?

- I am. - Okay.

- Well, listen, we're building a house.

He says, "I'm building this house for you."

- But the whole thing is just, like--it's--

is there an end to the tunnel?

You gotta understand, his job is first.

It's his calling. I mean, that's his life.

- I'm in no rush.

He's not jerking me around.

- But...where are you going?

- I'm coasting-- Dad, I'm coasting.

- You're--you're too old to coast.

If you're younger, then you could say,

"Well, this is gonna take time.

This will work out."

Listen, time is the most important thing you've got.

- I always looked up to my dad,

and I always felt like he was the example

of what a man should be:

protective of your family, always provided.

He loved his job. It was his first love.

So, quite frankly, I respect David for that,

so I don't know what my dad

is giving me such a hard time about.

I enjoy his company, Dad.

He doesn't give me an ounce of trouble, this guy.

- No, I know.

- At the end of the day, if I look at him and I say,

"You should've gave me a commitment,

and I don't like that I don't have one,"

then I move on.

But I have to say, back in the day,

every boy I ever brought home was afraid of you, Dad.

- I don't know why.

- 'Cause you would clean your gun in front of them?

- Well, that's the "getting to know you" part.

I mean, that was...

- [laughs]

- Coming up...

- You should tell Margaret

and Jackie to keep their mouth shut.

Like, they don't want me snapping,

because it will not be good.

[dramatic music]

[groovy music]

- Gabby, wanna help me make the bulgur?

- Booger? I don't eat boogers. [laughter]

- Not "booger."

"Bulgur," it's, like, a brown rice.

- Can I cook?

- Thank you, I'll see you guys. All right, bye.

- Do you think you can pour it in?

- Yeah. - Hold on one second.


- Jen? - All of it in.

Yes, honey, I'm listening.

- I have to go to the hospital a little earlier, baby.

There's a facial trauma patient that needs surgery.

- Right now?

You may have to check me out, 'cause I may have some trauma.

- You do? Hmm.

- We were doing an obstacle course,

and I literally wiped out.

- Are you in a lot of pain? - No, I'm a little sore.

- I don't think you hurt anything then.

But I'll look at it. - All right.

So, like, you just kinda saut it.

- Now it looks like bulgur.

- Now it looks like bulgur, right?

Here, why don't you take this and put it on the island?

Well, afterwards, we went to Dolores' house...

- Yeah?

- And I was talking to Margaret about

how the obstacle course was something

that I might wanna do with Gabby...

- Right?

- Because of her issues at school.

Gabby, her group of friends just decided

they don't wanna be friends with her anymore,

and they cut her off.

- They were, like, bullying her?

- Yeah. - That's horrible.

- Margaret was like, "Well, do you see how, like,

"when things happen with your daughter, it's not nice.

"How would you feel if somebody put a video

"on social media about Gabby?

"Do you understand where Jackie's coming from?

That she felt bullied?"

- Bullying is a big word.

- To be honest, I think Jackie's

being a little overly sensitive.

- Right.

- Let me bring this over there.

[kids yelling]

Hey, guys, lunch is ready.

I'm gonna put very little for everybody, okay,

so that everybody can just try it.

- So, you were telling me? - I was telling you.

So--you know what, actually,

let's show Gabby the video, and see what she thinks.

I impersonated Jackie... - Sure.

- And she's mad about it.

So, I want your opinion.

[hip-hop music]

- Hello. May I help you with anything?

- Um, yes, I'm meeting a friend.

We're looking for another friend's 40th birthday gift.

- Let me know if you need any help.

- Thank you, thank you.

[whispers] That one's not for me.

- Hi. - Hi.

What's going on? You look great.

- Hi, babes.

I've missed you. - I know, I know.

- This is so nice.

- This is good for the bathroom, by the way.

- Do you think she'd like this? - Let's look around.

- I'm glad that Melissa's finally 40.

- I know, that mere child.

- She can join the ----ing club already. [laughs]

I mean, my 40th was only two years ago,

but, I don't know, I feel old.

- If you feel old, what the (BLEEP) am I?

You know what, I think you're as young or as old as you feel.

- I agree.

- I don't feel an age difference.

Maybe between me and Jennifer a little bit.

She never got out of high school.

- She's like a child.

That video, that's, like, something that, like,

a kid in, like, junior high does.

- "Mrs. Merriam-Webster,

please define 'stalker' for me."

[laughter] - What do you think, Gabs?

- Well, I mean, I wouldn't like it

if someone posted that about me.

If my friend did that to me,

it would, like, hurt my feelings.

[light music]

- From where I was coming from,

it really was supposed to be a joke.

- But, let me ask you this,

do you sense Jennifer feels bad at all?

- When I saw her at the obstacle course,

which was, by the way-- it was freezing.

To be honest, I wish I got cut out of this.

- I know, but it still feels sh---y to be excluded.

- No, of course.

But, with Jennifer,

she's still up Teresa's ass, I'm not gonna lie,

because, you know, Teresa's the popular girl in school to her.

- Teresa does nothing but, like, come for me.

But Jennifer, the kids were friends,

and Evan and Bill really liked each other.

We had a nice relationship,

and, like, that's why this video really burns.

- What do you think I should do?

- If it, like, really hurt her feelings,

you should try to, like, make it right.

I guess you should apologize.

- And even though she calls me tacky and a bragger

and my kids are spoiled?

Listen, Jackie's no victim here.

She said nasty things about me,

and she fueled the fire to Teresa's rumors.

But it's hard to look my daughter in the face

and tell her that I'm not going to apologize.

It's gotten blown out of proportion,

and now I just have to deal with it.

[light instrumental music]

- How is it coming?

- Fast.

- Fast? - Yeah.

- So, when's it gonna be done?

Because I just want it done for summer, for the girls.

- If I get things done for customers

that I didn't grow up with my whole life,

you know I'm gonna get it done for you.

- Wait, how long do I know you?

- 41 years.

- And we used to play football together,

you, your brother, and my brother...

- Yes.

- And then you would always tackle me.

- It was love. [chuckles] - I know.

How come we didn't go to the prom together?

Joe, why didn't I take Tony to my prom?

- I don't know. What's going on?

- I should've took you. - What are you doing?

- He just came to look at the pool.

Do you like it?

- It looks good, but what are you spending here?

- I'm getting the family discount price.

I don't understand why my brother's trying to butt in.

- What would it normally be? - $150 maybe.

- Everyone thinks that I can't afford things.

It's like, "Hello, I work very, very hard."

- But it'll be 50, 60,

so she gets a pretty good break here.

- What are you doing here? - I travel a lot.

I am a "New York Times" bestselling author.

Thank you for being so concerned, but I'm good.

- What kind of stone did you pick, tell your brother.

- Let me guess, marble. - Marble, the best, marble.

- Why couldn't you just do pavers?

- He brought the stone, laid it here.

I'm like, "I like that one."

- This is why I worry about Teresa,

because she doesn't make the right decisions,

not about money and not about friends.

All right, I need a cup of coffee.

- Why don't you two go argue, and I'll take care of this?

- All right. - Tony.

- Oh, bye, Tone, bye. - All right.

- All right, bye. - Yeah. [chuckles]

- All right. [laughter]

- Look at you. Mamma mia.

- Look at me what? I didn't even do anything!

- You want him, huh? - [chuckles]

- Hey! Oh! look who it is.

What's up, old man? - What are you doing here?

- He made a salad. - Salad?

- It's my salad, not yours.

- Okay. [laughs] All right, bye.

That's good. He's on a diet. - Eating healthy.

- Oh, my God, my abs hurt.

- Your abs hurt? Why? 'Cause of the obstacle course you did?

'Cause I heard you had a lot of drama over there.

- So, Margaret ended up calling Danielle a prostitute,

which I thought that was pretty ----ed up.

- Four girls had a problem with Danielle out of five.

You see the percentage here?

Don't be naive. Just watch your back.

- Okay. - She can manipulate you.

- She would never do that. Like, she knows better.

- You're not gonna catch her,

'cause she good at what she does.

Open your eyes wide...

- Yeah, I am.

- 'Cause Melissa's party's coming up.

I don't want any drama.

I know, listen, Margaret's gonna be there.

She's gonna be upset, 'cause you picked

Danielle's side at the obstacle course.

- I didn't pick Danielle's side.

But I do see that Margaret does rag on Danielle a lot,

and then she gets physical.

- You ----ing (BLEEP)!

- Are you kidding me? - Oh, my God.

- Maybe you should just talk to Margaret at the party,

because she respects you, okay?

- Okay, I'll think about it.

- And then Jackie's gonna be there.

- You shouldn't invite her,

because she was running her mouth,

if you have your sister's back.

- I'm stuck in the middle.

But stay away from Jackie.

- Listen, I'm dealing with real sh-- in my life...

- Right.

- All this legal stuff with Joe.

- I can imagine.

- Like, he's going through a lot, I'm going through a lot.

Our daughters are going through so much.

- That's why I'm afraid of you sometimes,

because you have all this pressure on you,

and you just explode.

I don't know how you are able to control this.

- Yeah, well, that's why you should tell Margaret

and Jackie to keep their mouth shut.

Like, they don't want me snapping,

because it will not be good.

[solemn music]

- Coming up... - Look at this.

- Oh, my Go-- are you kidding me?

- Wow.

[upbeat music]

- So, are you ready? - You know me.

I'm always ready for a party.

- [laughs excitedly] - Tipsy Melissa will be here.

- I think the drunk Joe's coming out too then.

- No, you just stay inside. Today, it's about me.

- Where are you going? - We're going out.

You know Joey and Gino's mommy, Melissa?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- Guess how old she turned? - 50?

- Oh, she's not there yet. [laughter]

- Well, she looks young.

- She does look young. - Very good.

- She's pretty. - Nice comeback.

- Is she prettier than Mommy?

[gasps] What?

I'm gonna send you to live there.

[hip-hop music]

- Marge Senior acts like it's her birthday.

She's been gone all day.

What are you doing?

Where was the excitement when I was taking the day off

to go get her a new apartment?

- 'Cause she's a party girl. - I know.

I said, do not cocktail it up. - She will.

- I don't want her falling, breaking cankles.


- Where's the party tonight? - It's somewhere in the city.

So, you wear a nice pair of dark jeans.

- Okay. - I wanna get you skinny jeans.

- Okay, I can't wear the little ankles,

because it doesn't fit around my calves.

- David wears them now. - Dave's got no legs.

Is David coming?

- David's working in Hoboken, so he'll be pretty close.

I'm really hoping that he can make it tonight.

- I hope David comes,

because I'm perfectly okay being a third wheel.

- I know you are, and you're not a third wheel.

We're all equal.

- All right, so, I gotta get everything packed up,

because we're sleeping in the city.

I really do hope, honestly,

that everyone's on their best behavior.

- So, I talked to my sister,

and hopefully, she won't start anything at your party.

- But, unfortunately, I know how they work,

and I know if one of them says something,

they're gonna start arguing.

[light music]

- Melissa didn't invite Danielle.

- Why not?

- Danielle and Margaret got into it.

So now, Tio Joe told me that

Margaret is upset with me,

because she feels like all they do is stick up for Danielle.

If there was one of your friends there,

and four girls were saying negative things towards her,

you would stick up for that girl, right?

- Yeah. If Margaret says anything to you tonight,

all you have to say is, like, "I have your back,

"but when it's four against one,

I'm gonna stick up for her a little bit."

- I love that! 'Cause I wouldn't have said that.

- Yeah, what would you have said? "Oh, I don't know..."

- I don't know, I would've been like,

"That's my ----ing friend.

You gotta problem with it, go (BLEEP) yourself."


[upbeat music]

- Do you remember my 40th?

- Yeah, two years ago.

- Two years ago. Thank you for that.

But I'm not gonna do a party this year.

- What are you doing then?

- I'm thinking I'm gonna invite the girls

and go away on a trip.

I would want you to come, of course,

but you can't take off.

- It's tough.

So, where do you plan to go then?

- I don't know, somewhere in the Caribbean.

Maybe Jamaica. We'll see. - Mmm.

- We could be all "Jamaica, mon."

- Fun. - Fun!

- I want a girls' trip. [giggles]

- When you're old enough.

So, I was thinking about

what you said to me the other day about Jackie,

that maybe it wasn't so nice,

and I should just, you know, tell her I'm sorry.

- Yeah.

- Pretend to be Jackie, and I'm me, okay?

"Hey, Jackie, I just wanted to say I'm sorry,

"but, you know, I was just trying to make a joke.

- No "but."

You have to be sincere, and you have to be like,

"You know, I'm really sorry I hurt your feelings.

I hope you can accept my apology."

- "But" just defends my point of view.

- But are you there to defend yourself,

or are you there to apologize?

- Okay, noted.

It was meant to be funny, though.

[groovy music]

- Gorgeous.

- I'm ready to party!

- Wow, look at this.

- Oh, my Go-- are you kidding me?

- Wow.

- Hi, honey. - Unbelievable.

- I'm not usually one to give anybody the reins,

and let anyone else control a party for me...

Look, Joe, it's so beautiful!

But this year, I said, "You only turn 40 once."

I wanted to be surprised.

My eyes are everywhere!

- Look at the girls and the boys.

- Lawrence Scott absolutely killed it.

- Look, look, in case you got homesick, that's Jersey.

- That's Jersey. - Oh, my God, I love it.

- That's why we picked this venue.

And over here, this is part of your finale...

- Oh, my God.

- So, we'll do a parade later.

- This is so exciting!

[funky music]

Hi, sisters. Hi, Mommy.

Did you ever see anything like this?

- No. - Let's get a cocktail.

- How are you? - Happy birthday.

- Thank you. - How's it going?

- Hi! Oh, my God, you look amazing.

- You look gorgeous. - Thank you.

How's it going, Buddy? - How are you?

Happy birthday. - Thank you.

Come in, have a cocktail, guys.

- Thank you.

- Hi, guys.

Welcome, you gorgeous, pregnant person.

Hi, guys.

- Oh, my God, you're so gorgeous.

- Oh, look at--you're matching. So gorgeous.

- Hi, guys. - Happy birthday.

- Welcome to my 40/going on 20.

- Ooh, where are we going? - This way.

- I'm missing it. - Over here.

- Whoo! Happy birthday! - Oh, my God!

- Sexy! Whoo!

- Your boobies are out for my party!

- Oh, look at--[laughs]

- Before I get drunk, I just wanna tell you

that I love both of you very much.

- We love you so much.

- I have a lot of old friends coming.

You guys are more of my newer friends,

and I love you like I love my old friends.

- That makes me so happy.

- So, is everything okay with you and Jennifer?

- No, I think the problem is

that she really wants to be Teresa's bestie,

and she wants to impress her.

- I agree with that. - No, she does.

- I think Teresa and I,

I know that we will never be best buds.

- Well, I would love nothing more than the two of you guys

to, like, be able to be in a room together.

- That's right, we should be.

The problem with being in a room with Teresa is,

you never know which Teresa you're gonna get.

[tense music]

- Let's go.

Come on, Pop.

[hip-hop music]

- Teresa and I, I don't think we'll ever be, like, friends.

- Come on, Pop.

- Let me just tell you something,

I'll adhere to the fact I've always stood by her,

but she never, you know, validates the way I feel.

- Right, I get it.

It really does look like she stands with Danielle.

- She doesn't know what she did.

I'm over that crap.

- I'm gonna go say hi to everyone.

- Go, go, go. - All right.

- Hi, gorgeous. - We miss you.

- Hi, honey, how are you? - Hi.

Hi, hi, hi, hi. - Hi, how are you?

- You're, what, 40? - Today's my--

- I'm 20 years older than you, bitch.

- No, you're 62! - [shushes]

Don't add two years. [laughs]

- You look pissed off. You in a good mood?

- Not really, I don't know.

- Why? What happened? - I'm fine.

- I can't count the number of times

that my sister said she's fine

and then she explodes.

- Hi! - Ah, you little ho!

- [laughs]

- I just hope she does the right thing tonight,

and doesn't (BLEEP) up this party.

- I'm drunk, and I'm not gonna lie...

- That's good.

- And when I'm drunk, I touch tits.

- I know. - You guys are nuts.

- When your sister's not acting like a crazy bitch,

we get along.

- Yeah, yeah, I love it, I love it!

- I don't have any yet. - Nope.

- Hey, great.

I need a drink. Hi!

- Margaret Senior, thank God you're...

- So glad to see you.

This is Aaron. - Hello, sweetheart.

- Hi, how are you? - This is Donna, Melissa's mom.

- Oh, my God, where's my mother?

Marge Senior, you didn't even come in and say hello to me.

- I was actually looking for Donna.

- She wants to see Donna more than she wants to me.

- Oh, I love this. - I see you every day.

- This isn't new behavior.

When I was a young girl,

Marge Senior, quite the partier cocktailer.

You know, she would go out, and didn't think it would upset me.

And I'd be home with my grandparents,

holding her ----ing ankles, "Don't go, don't go, don't go."

I'm so happy we're here together,

'cause I never get to hang out with you anymore.

- I know, isn't that terrible?

- You don't seem so upset about it.

- [laughs]

- You think you get over your childhood sh--,

but, you know, Marge Senior,

I know she loves me.

When she does things in my adult life

reminds me of my childhood.

I know if I wanna see you,

I can always count on seeing you at a party.

- You're right. I love parties. [both laugh]

- What's going on with you guys?

- I'm building her house.

- With the doctor, right?

- He's building my boyfriend's house.

- Where is he? Is he coming? Dave?

- Oh, is he coming? - He's working.

- Oh... - He has a suit in the car.

He's gonna try to make it. - No, but he's trying.

- Should be fun.

I'm gonna make sure you only have one drink.

- Just one. [laughs]

- Oh, my God, it's the Aydins!

- Oh, my God. - Hello!

- Lord Jesus, I need some plastic surgery. I'm 40.

- You don't need anything, honey.

- I think Jennifer just came.

- Oh, is Jennifer here?

- I saw something red and glittery, so I noticed.

- Have you spoke to her? - No.

I feel like it's clear that she's not sorry she hurt me.

But she shouldn't be making fun of me.

- Jackie needs to lighten up.

- If I was there,

I would've ----ing laughed along with them.

- Somebody posted a stupid video.

What do you care?

In my world, if you make fun of someone,

it's not always mean, Jackie.

In her mind, she seemed funny.

- I think you do need a drink. - A drink.

- I'm so dying for a drink.

- Three shots of tequila... - Three shots of tequila.

- Quick, before her husband comes.

- He'll take away my allowance.

- Here's to Jen. - Bottoms up, mother----er!

I see Jackie's here.

- Did you say hi to her? - [mouths word]

- Neither did I. - Not yet.

- I wanna talk to Margaret,

because I heard she was upset with me.

I mean, this is the thing, like, you know,

she said very hurtful things to Danielle.

- She did.

- To be called a ----ing prostitute, that's ----ed up.

Like, this is what Danielle said, she said,

"I had four of them ganged up on me."

Like, I felt bad for her.

- And I can't make you feel any different, you know?

You're valid in your feelings,

and she's valid in hers, and I'm valid in mine.

Listen... - Yes?

- I kinda had, like, an aha moment.

My daughter's going through some sh--,

and my daughter was like, "If it was done to me,

it would hurt my feelings," and that's that, right?

So, I feel that...

I need to apologize to Jackie...

in a few minutes.

- Okay. [laughs]

You do what you have to do,

but I don't like the ----ing bitch.

The thought of anyone apologizing to Jackie

makes me sick.

She plays it like, "Oh, like, oh, you hurt my feelings,"

but then, she likes to bark out

hurtful things towards other people,

which I think is not right.

- Right, yo tambien.

- [laughs]

No, you know what... - No bueno.

- Let's go get a drink, yes. - Let's go get a drink.

My bitch tonight! My bitch!

I'm definitely not looking forward

to apologizing to Jackie...

- Jen! Jen! Jen! - Hey!

Joey! Tequila, honey.

So, if I need a couple of tequila shots

to take the edge off, so be it.

- What's up, Ramona? You're looking good.

- Look at her, look at the body on this girl.

- 60--damn. - Yeah.

- Are you dating anybody? - I'm always dating, honey.

[laughs] - See, that's the secret!

- This party is ----ing awesome.

I'm having such a good time. - Yes, it is awesome.

- But, um, I need to apologize to Jackie.

- What're you gonna say to her? - Listen, I'm gonna be sincere.

I'm gonna tell her, "I'm sorry."

I don't know why she got so offended,

but she's taking it really personally.

- Why don't you go, no "buts"...

- Yeah, no "buts." - Don't explain.

- Don't say, "I was trying to be funny."

- Go, do it, no "buts"... - All right.

- And then--wait-- wait, Jennifer,

and then cut your tongue off after that last thing.

- No "buts." - Less is more.

[tense music]

What are the odds that Jen's gonna (BLEEP) this apology up?

- Um, good odds.

Sober Jennifer, we're ready apology challenge.

With drunk Jennifer, we can

----ing forget about an apology.

- The building...

- I wanna kinda bang you, but I can't.

- If you were straight, would you bang me?

- Yeah. - I love your earrings.

- Thank you. - They're fabulous.

- You look so good. - Oh, thank you.

- What are the odds that Jen's gonna (BLEEP) this apology up?

[light music]

- Would you mind if I just had a moment with Jackie?

- Not at all. - Okay.

- Good luck.

- Hi. - Hi.

I just--I just wanna say

that I--looking back on it,

like, I know you took it as making fun of you,

but I looked at it as, I'm just impersonating someone.

- Oh, my God, Jennifer, again with the excuses.

- Sometimes when I see people laughing,

it's like the comedic part of me.

I feed off their laughter.

- Apologize and show me that you care about me as a friend.

- I love doing impersonations, I love making people laugh.

And I have to say that people laugh at me too,

and I kind of don't mind being the butt of the joke.


I never meant to hurt you,

and... I'm sorry...

- All right. - Sincerely.

- That's all I wanted to know, 'cause I'm your friend.

I wouldn't be hurt if I didn't ----ing like you.

- See Jackie and Jen are, uh, getting along?

- That's good.

I told Jennifer, "Just go make amends,

and when you do that, don't keep talking."

- All right, listen to me, whether she keeps talking

or she doesn't keep talking,

it's not gonna make a difference with Jackie.

- Why? - Why?

Because Jackie is a female attorney.

They have to have the last word, no matter what.

- I do see what you're saying in Jackie.

- It is what it is.

- Oh, you're not drinking?

- One. - Want a shot?

- Grey Goose? - Did you guys make up?

- We did. - Aw!

- It was, like, one of the most sincere,

loving apologies I ever got.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Can I talk to you?

- Of course. - All right, come on.

[tense music]

- I don't even know what that was about.

I was, like, ready to say hi to her,

and then she ----ing took Margaret and walked away

without even, like, making eye contact with me,

so I don't know what to do at this point.

- I'm really glad that me and Jackie made up...

- It's just, like, weird that she won't even say hi to me.

- But I'm not about to sit here and get in the middle

of her and Teresa's beef,

because I'm not touching that with a ten-foot pole.

Let's go get a drink.

- I heard your feelings are hurt.

So, I wanted to talk to you. - I know, I know.

Last time I was with you, I left in a huff.

- Listen, when you called Danielle a prostitute...

- A prostitute? - I felt bad for her.

- She comes after me to say vile things.

Don't attack me,

and expect not to have a consequence.

- I wouldn't let it bother me. - Teresa...

Jennifer saw a side of her.

One by one, everybody's seeing it.

- I mean, I don't want you to think

that I'm taking Danielle's side 'cause I'm not doing that.

Your friendship means a lot to me, it really does.

- I feel like these are baby steps with Teresa...

- Let's go hang out.

- And I feel like things are going in the right direction.

[upbeat music]

- Who thinks he's banging Dolores?

- Yeah. - Yeah, right?

- I don't wanna accuse the man

of something that he's not already maybe doing.

[laughter] - Hi!

- Hi! - Hi!

- Everyone's very happy and cocktail--

- David here?

- David couldn't make it, actually.

- So he's definitely not coming?

- He's not making it. - Aww.

- I'm very--I know, I'm upset.

It's so annoying everybody's like,

"Is David coming? Is David coming?"

Does David look like he's here?

- Tipsy equals to good blow jobs, just saying.

- Okay.

- He's gonna be sorry he's not here.

- Do you give blow jobs? - Never in my life.

both: What? - You're a liar.

- What?

- I'm lying like a bitch. - Hey.

- Dolores is a little drunk. - You are?

- On tequila! - No, no.

- What are you girls doing?

- Tipsy Melissy, hello, I'm ----ing lit.

Melissa, happy birthday to you.

This ----ing party, it's bougie as (BLEEP).

But you know, I need to ----ing say something right now,

it's nice and all,

but we need to go to ----ing Jamaica.

I put my husband's money where my mouth is.

I'll pay for everything.

[all cheer]

It's my birthday,

because that's how I roll, mother----ers.

- When are we going? Is it your birthday?

- It's my birthday, bitches!

- Aries, everyone's an Aries.

- Aries, Aries, Aries. - Aries.

- Libra. - My mom was a Libra.

- Really? - And Gabriella.

Libra's are really nice people.

I don't get it.

- I gotta say, I'm worried about these two.

I mean, putting them together on such a small island?

- I couldn't be happier to go to Jamaica with all of you.

- I'm hoping that there are no fireworks on this trip,

at least only the good kind.

- Stop the music.

I want everybody's attention.

There she is.

All right-- [shushing]

The day I looked at this woman,

15 years ago,

I feel the same way, with the jitters.

And you look ----ing amazing,

at 40 years old...

- Oh, my God! [cheering]

- But no, honey, I wanna tell you that

I hope I'm 90 and I'm still banging that sh--.

- Oh, my God. - Every ----ing day!


- All right, all right, all right,

I have never felt better. [cheering]

This is Melissa Gorga at its finest.


Now, DJ,

I need you to play some good music,

'cause I want my guests to dance right now.

- Whoo!

- 'Cause we're on display!

In the past ten years, I really do feel like

I've changed so much.

Watching me do my thing

'Cause I'm on display

On display, on display

I mean, this is no longer the girl

that used to spar with her sister-in-law.

We're asking you like this, on our frickin' knees,

to stop hurting us!

Like, I take zero sh--.

No one tells me how to speak to my husband,

not my sister-in-law, not my mother, no one.

You're very big on gender roles.

Like, can you hold your tongue about that stuff?

40-year-old Melissa is no drama, no nonsense,

and incredibly grateful.

I truly feel blessed.

This was so nice. I love my birthday.

Thank you so much. Love you.

- All right, love you too, babe.

- Let's go party. - All right.

- Whoo!

- Drop your booty!


- Next time on "The Real Housewives of New Jersey"...

- Jamaica, mon! - How you doing?

- How you doing? - I'm good.

- If you and Jackie do get into it this weekend,

I'm gonna be so ----ing annoyed.

- We'll see who starts it first.

- Frank said some bad things about me.

What bothered me the most

is that you wouldn't, as my friend, say,

"Actually, you have her wrong."

- Well, honestly, she said today

she just doesn't consider you like a friend.

[tense music]

- To learn more about "The Real Housewives,"

go to

The Description of 40 and Fancy Free