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Practice English Speaking&Listening with: PLEASE DO NOT GOOGLE THIS! - Google Feud #3

Difficulty: 0

P: Hello! Dan and Phil games noogles. D: What up. Hello

P: That's what they call someone that starts working at Google

P: for the first year and they have to wear a little spinny hat. D: Is that- is that a real thing?

P: It's a thing! It's a thing, I would know! D: It's so weird

P: Hey that's our boss you're talking about D: Don't demonetize us P: We love the spinny hats

D: Uh, speaking of which, today we're gonna find out what people use their device for pure evil on on the middle of the night as we

D: continue Google Feud P: Google Fu-ed! What's the last thing you googled?

D: *dramatically picks up phone*

P: *Laughs* You have a nervous glint in your eye! D: I don't

D: Know what- this might be terrible P: I'm gonna look, I'm gonna

D: *Laughs*

P: Really Dan? D: "Euthanasia"? P: We need to move on from that

D: Okay, and *laughs*

P: I was googling- D: I was probably googling the spelling

P: Wait, wait. I was googling- D: Of course

P: OH! Uh... D: Right. P: Varieties of hairy caterpillar *giggle*

D: Dan and Phil- P: I saw this- no, I saw this-

D: Summarized in two Google searches.

P: I saw this mutant caterpillar on the road, look at it, and wanted to see what moth or butterfly it turns into,

P: and look at what it was gonna turn into!

D: Oh that's like the most beautiful-

D: disgusting horror beast that I would still set on fire...

P: I wanna take it home and snuggle it

D: Okay P: Right, we're playing for fun. There's no prize D: There's scale-ies, and there's, like- P: Moth-ies

D: Fluffy-ies... P: Furry-ies...

P:If someone dresses as a giant moth they're a furry cause moths are fluffy. D:I've never seen that but it must be a thing?

P: Lets google it.

D: Do they have their own communities, like do the furries say I'm sorry but I don't want your centipede person like in my-

P: Look. D: "furry moth" okay that's a novelty moth costume P:No!That- that counts! D:thats not a fur suit i would wear that to a FurCon. D:okay.

D: Uh people that take fur suiting seriously- P: *starts laughing* D: -are very offended that a halloween moth costume is constituted that few.

D; I fell like we've gone really off topic here- P: WaIT WAiT wait Wait WAit wait WAIt...

D: for f**K sake.

D: uh okay well this videos only gonna get worse now as if you don't remember that aim of the game is to pick a category

See what people are googling and fill in the blank so let's start with P: lets do it... what is what is the best kind of

P: kind ooooof

P: chocolate D: euthanasia P: no it's gonna be chocolate

I think i've goggled that like five times?! D: okay let's see... P: oh?

D: immediate rekt oh what you thought people cared about chocolate?!-

P: alright. D: It's not even in the top 10.

P: Well i need to google that some more

lets go into the mind of a googler.

D: Sex! oh f**k ok I need a double x that.

P: The best kind of... DOG.

D: oOOOoooOOooooOOOOoOooO. Faith in humanity restored

P: I'm going to keep score, even though it doesn't mean anything

D:Oh right so you-your just proud you guessed some and now your keeping score even though it doesn't mean anything and we're just playing for fun.

P: Come on Dani beat dog D: What is the best.

kind of


Dammit the answer is normal coke fight me. P: coconut oil, weed (24 blazin) bear

P: *laughs* why is bear there for?

D: What is the best kind of bad about bear.

P: *laughs over it again* Polar bear I recon.

D:the best kind of christmas tree, steak, water to drink. P: Dog food!

D: Magnesium to take? P:that's something a lot of people are googling D: I can't believe this fine, right. next round. P: what happens if you microwave...

D: *musical says* your soul!!!! P: I almost said a dog. (me: same) D: *musicaly again cause why not* a caT!

D&P: *Gasp!*

D: What the f**k is wrong with people- P: HOW DID YOU KNOW!! D: -and i'm so glad! write it down.

D: jiminee mister i'm keeping the score. Let's play for who has to take the bins out. P: Alright it's fine. That's the wh-

D: It's snowing in england right now. P: It's snowing and that is a big point of contention between us both.

P: What happens if you microwave a light bulb? My friend did it at university.

[Dan slowly absorbing this information while typing]

D: What? P: Yeah. We ruined the university microwave. We put like- D: Well no sh*t if you wh- in a micro- P: Don't do this.

D: wh- what aspect of a light bulb wouldn't be a disaster? P: The light bulb glows rainbow colors

P: and then it explodes glass everywhere. D: Okay. P: It was quite exciting but then we couldn't make popcorn for the rest of the year.

D: Okay, [mumbles] mine. What happens if you microwave foil?

P: Ooo D: [breaks the table for the 239109th time] Damn it!

D: What? Really? The one thing you're not supposed to microwave other than the cat P: This- this is morbid but i think if people are searching "cat",

P: they might be searching "dog". D: What kind of dog can you fit in a fucking microwave? P: I don't know...

P: Dry ice?

P: What would happen?

[throwback to The Amazing Tour Is Not On Fire 2016] P: Create a wormhole.

Dan: [reading from screen] Um, metal, weed- [sigh] m- f- wh- what's wrong with y- P: What's with all the weed?

P: Spoon. [laughs] D: What would happen if you microwave fire? [about to have a mental breakdown]

D: What does that even mean?

D: What happens if you microwave nothing? Oh my god. P: An egg.

P: I have microwaved the odd spoon and it's very scary when that happens. D: Why?

P: It's if you just like making a hot chocolate you leave the spoon in and it's like- [makes buzzing noises] and you're like-

P: God, I'm dying. What's happening? Have I radiated my brain? D: You think like how does Phil get into all these any dangerous situations?

D: He can't even make a hot chocolate without like creating a tesla hole or something. Okay, right. P: I know. That's what happens.

D: Well, floppy ding-dong. P: Well done on the cat, you sssssickO

D: That's fine. I think i'm gonna go with names. D&P: Peter...

P: [cutely] Me! Me! Rabbit.

P: Who's not searching Peter Rabbit? Hes like the main Peter. D: [hooting]

*Owl and wolf noises*

D: Parker. *noise of failure* What the fuck? P: Yeah take that. He's not relevant anymore. D: Infinity War is coming out in like three weeks. [i can't wait]

P: Oh yeah. He is relevant. D: And Peter Rabbit is a movie that's out now. D&P: Poor Peter. D: And people freaking- okay, go on.

P: Dinklage.

P: Yes! D: Ohhhohoho

P: Thank you Dinklage. Tyrion for the win.

D: Peter Pan *the sound of redemption* (good job Dan :D)

P: Ooh how did I forget Peter Pan? D: [dabs] (i want to disown him)

D: Let's fly away to Neverland. P: Yep. D: [sound effects] Alright.

P: [giggling] Is that the noise he makes when he flies away? D: Yeah the Sonic noise.

P: [sound effects] D: Neverland zone.

P: Peter... Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.

P: A peck of pickled peppers that Peter Piper picked. D: Alright people are gonna make Peter- P: [continues spitting sick rhymes]

P: that Peter Piper picked! D: Well done. P: Yeah, I almost did that... D: Or not.

P: on stage in primary school and everyone clapped 'cause I didn't get it wrong.

D: I'm not a pheasant plucker i'm a pheasant plucker's son and i will keep on plucking pheasants to my pheasant pluckings done P: Don't get us demonetized.

D: Shut the shutter and sit in the shop P: *tries to say it and messes up*

P: [laughing] That was close. That one...

D: [reading from screen] Peter Cushing, Thiel

D: Townsend, Griffin obviously, Herman, Pan bus. P: What's a Peter Pan bus? D: Do you want to know? P: Who gets on a Peter Pan bus?

D: Someone who wants to take children away to Neverland. P: Well that's something about that.

D: Well there we go. Oh dear, Phil.

D: Looks like you're gonna be dredging in the snow with a big- P: I'm not going to be dredging- D: I'll make sure you smash loads of glass and put it in the bin.

P: It's really scary. Sometimes there's other residents in the binroom when you don't know they're gonna be there and then they walk in. D: Have to make awkward conversations.

D: "So about uh.."

P: Bins ay. D: The bins ay... Some nice recycling you got there. P: Stinky one today, Janet. D: Got some cardboard myself.

D&P: Culture. P: Apple... D: Like where, what's his face from Queer Eye. P: Yeah. D: Kimono, whatever his name is.

D: [randomly spouting rhyming words] Komodo. P: Meccano? What's he called? D: Kenco?

P: Kamano. Karano. K- Kamaro. It's Kamaro.

D: Apple..

D: Juice.

D: Whaaat?

P: Like who's gonna be searching for apple juice. Like "Oh I'll go to Google tonight. Apple juice." That's like, why would you google that [laughing while Dan rages]

P: You say like, "Why is apple juice the colour pee". D: Get away from me with your logic. Alright go on then.

P: Apple... D: [singing] Bottom jeans.

D: Boots, with the fur,. P: Tree. D: [continues singing] with the fur.

D: [inaudible pettiness] Oh... why would people just go on Google and google...

D: [weird baby noise] APPLE TREE

P: Where's your sportsmanship, Dan?

D: Where's yours? P: Imagine you at the Olympics. D: You left it up an apple tree I think. P: Alright.

D: Apple...

D: iPhone.

D: [rages] P: Watch, store... How do we forget- D: Fuck

D: [reading from screen] Apple watch, Apple store, Apple TV

D: Apple pie. P: Apple tree. D: Apple ID, Apple Support, apple crisp..?

D: Who's googling "apple crisps"?

D: They are not very nice. I'm sorry. P: They're not. They're kinda bad. D: They're just not like, of all the things, you could turn into crisps, apple crisps are among the worst things I tried.

P: I.. I can't believe i just was not in the right century with my apple tree. I could've had an Apple watch.

D: Yeah, more like 1918, am I right?

P: Next round.

D: Okay, I'm gonna start. What body parts can you..

D: Sniff.

D: Lose.

D: Damn it!

P: Eat?

D: Really? E-

P: You spelt it wrong! D: Oh... I spelt it wrong.


P: Lots of cannibals out there. I remembered it from last time.

D: Are you joking? P: I'm not joking.

D: Sell.


D: There's a lot of cannibals but there's a lot of black market organ sellers. Yeet.

P: Does anyone want my eyes? They don't really work. D: No, yours would be like...

D: You know, you have to pay somebody to remove them.

P: What body part- shave.

P: No! D: rekt, [reading from screen] wrap at the same time.. P: "Live without". That's kind of what you were trying to say. D: Pierce.

P: Crack, cup donate, not live without, donate for money.

D: Right, okay, people are like "I can lose like a lung and a half right?"

D: Culture. P: Alright.

D: Famous celebrity...

D: Couples. P: Aw, that's so easy!

D: [teasing] Ohhh, is it though? P: Ohh..

D: Well, if you get the number 2 answer then there's no problems.

P: People are gross so I think it might be sex tapes.

D: Ohhh, Phil, you dirty person. I'm saying- Damn it! People don't want pets? Who doesn't want famous celebrity pets? P: Haircuts!

D: Ohhh P: No!

D&P: [reading from screen] Birthdays, deaths. D: Death photos... P: Jeez.

D: That's worse than nudes. P: What's wrong with you? D: [continue reading from screen] Murders, deaths-

D: 2016, very specific. Phil: Yep. D: [continues reading] Siblings, snapchat, photographers. D&P: And feuds.

P: I'm sorry about sex tapes. D: The great feud of Dan and Phil 2018 after the Google Feud video.

P: [sound effects and being cute]

P: Questions. Does my boss...

P: Hate me.


D: Like me.

D: [high-pitched hyena laugh and scream]

D: Oh my god. P: How do you always get the top one? D: Just call me Danny Quint 10.

P: Oh my god, you deserve a Google medal on your nose.

D: I deserve for this video to be triple monetized.

P: [doing the velociraptor noise]

P: Care.

P: No! D: No, they don't. OHHHH P: They don't care.

P: They don't care... D: Does my boss...

D: Have a boss.

D: No! Okay right? P: Inception there.

D: I was a Jaden Smith answer. P: Want to fire me, that's what I thought originally.

P: No! D: It is...

P: [reading from screen] Answers? D: Does my boss answers? P: Doesn't make sense...

P: Dude.

D: [reading from screen] Love me, mmm... respect me. P: Appreciate me. D: Daddy!

D: [continues reading] Trust me, value me, not like me, have feelings for me. Jesus, okay, wow, we didn't go around the range of human emotion there fast enough.

D: Questiones. P: Why are my dogs. D: Why are dogs. P: Oh why are dogs.

D: Different.

D: Damn it! Different breeds! I don't know! Shut up!

P: Cute.

D: Good pets.

D: Dammit. P: This could be it. Why are dogs...

P: Brave.

D: Brave?

D: [reading from screen] Noses wet. P: Ohhh. How did I not think of the noses? D: Haram? P: Better than cats.

P: Noses cold, loyal, protective. D: The best pets.

D: Okay! Well, we are asking the wrong questions there. P: Did dogs write that? I don't believe it.

D: I think dogs fill out all those answers. P: I think they must have.

P: Questions. D: Who is the world's richest...

D: Man.


D: [dabs with sound effect] (i'm officially unstanning)

D: Sorry, sorry, I'm ironically dabbing out of just pure ecstasy. P: Woman.

P: I'll take it. D: Who is the world's

D: richest

D: Dog

D: Um... P: It might be their animal. D: Who the fuck is gonna google world's richest animals? P: Me. I'd google that. D: They, they own property, do they? P: Yeah.

D: Busi-. P: That, I don't think that's how you spell it. D: Business man.

D: Shit.

P: Um, celebrity. It's me, it's me.

D: Ohhh P: w0t

D: Animal

D: Dammit.

P: [reading from screen] man, woman. D&P: Family

D: Rapper, actor, person in 2016, author, man 2016, black woman and singer.

D: Was this game made in 2016? P: I think it might have been, yeah. D: And they never change the answers?

P: I think we need to put our brains back into 2016.

D: I'm on tour. It's never ending. I'm on a bus.

P: One more. D: One last one, are you ready? Final round. [singing] It's the final google-

P: [sound effect]

D: Feud.

D: Question. Is it safe to eat raw... P: It's me! It's me! It's me!

P: Chicken.

D: Beef.

P: Meat.

D: Who the fuck isn't searching chicken, beef or meat?

P: I don't know there's a raw- D: I mean, the other one. Right.

D: Fish.

P: No. That's sushi and that's fine. Kind of. You can still get parasites from it if you're wondering.

P: Is it safe to eat raaawwwww (yeehaw boy 2.0)

P: Sewage.

P: No.

D: Dammit! Eggs is number one. Why didn't I say eggs.. [rages for the 30189382th time]

P: Why did I say "sewage"? D: [turned into a demon]

D: I don't know, Phil. P: Of course it's not safe.

P: Of course it's not safe. D: Time to round up these scurry ding-dongs and see which one of us is gonna be taking out

D: the trash all the way to the binroom in the snow. P: But you're already the trash. How can you take yourself out Dan? [ba-dum-tsk]

D: I mean okay well, I, I feel like we've had a friendly game and you just ruin the whole thing by making it really competitive.

D: What is 7,000 add 4,000 add 8,000 add 9,000 add 7,000 add 8,000 add 7,000 add 9,000 add 9,000 add 3,000 add 2,000?

Siri: The answer is 73,000.

P: Oooo good score. D: Good score.

P: 73,000

D: What is 10,000 add 10,000 add 10,000 add 10,000 add 10,000 add 10,000 add 1,000 add 5000?

Siri: That would be 66,000.


P: [singing] You're taking the trash! You are trash! I'm not trash. D: But Phil's so messy...P: You're going to be cold. Yay!

D: He scrapes his plates and it just goes everywhere. There's always bin juice because Phil just pours things into the bin instead of emptying them into the sink first. P: Sorry Dan.

P: That's how the bin crumbles. D: There's gonna be weird yoghurt and shit everywhere.

P: That's how the bin crumbles.

P: Well, that was Google Feud. Haven't played it for a while because the website didn't work but now it's back.

P: I'd like to play it again. Give us a thumbs up if you'd like to play again. Are you just staying down there? D: I'm in a bad mood right now.

P: Alright, well if you want to subscribe, subscribe. Subscribe to my channel and maybe Dan's as well.

D: Forget that shit.

P: Our last video's over there and remember,

P: Don't microwave animals, I'm being serious. What's wrong with you?

D: What, anything that isn't food, you weirdos.

D&P: Bye!

The Description of PLEASE DO NOT GOOGLE THIS! - Google Feud #3