P: Hello! Dan and Phil games noogles. D: What up. Hello
P: That's what they call someone that starts working at Google
P: for the first year and they have to wear a little spinny hat. D: Is that- is that a real thing?
P: It's a thing! It's a thing, I would know! D: It's so weird
P: Hey that's our boss you're talking about D: Don't demonetize us P: We love the spinny hats
D: Uh, speaking of which, today we're gonna find out what people use their device for pure evil on on the middle of the night as we
D: continue Google Feud P: Google Fu-ed! What's the last thing you googled?
D: *dramatically picks up phone*
P: *Laughs* You have a nervous glint in your eye! D: I don't
D: Know what- this might be terrible P: I'm gonna look, I'm gonna
P: Really Dan? D: "Euthanasia"? P: We need to move on from that
D: Okay, and *laughs*
P: I was googling- D: I was probably googling the spelling
P: Wait, wait. I was googling- D: Of course
P: OH! Uh... D: Right. P: Varieties of hairy caterpillar *giggle*
D: Dan and Phil- P: I saw this- no, I saw this-
D: Summarized in two Google searches.
P: I saw this mutant caterpillar on the road, look at it, and wanted to see what moth or butterfly it turns into,
P: and look at what it was gonna turn into!
D: Oh that's like the most beautiful-
D: disgusting horror beast that I would still set on fire...
P: I wanna take it home and snuggle it
D: Okay P: Right, we're playing for fun. There's no prize D: There's scale-ies, and there's, like- P: Moth-ies
D: Fluffy-ies... P: Furry-ies...
P:If someone dresses as a giant moth they're a furry cause moths are fluffy. D:I've never seen that but it must be a thing?
P: Lets google it.
D: Do they have their own communities, like do the furries say I'm sorry but I don't want your centipede person like in my-
P: Look. D: "furry moth" okay that's a novelty moth costume P:No!That- that counts! D:thats not a fur suit i would wear that to a FurCon. D:okay.
D: Uh people that take fur suiting seriously- P: *starts laughing* D: -are very offended that a halloween moth costume is constituted that few.
D; I fell like we've gone really off topic here- P: WaIT WAiT wait Wait WAit wait WAIt...
D: for f**K sake.
D: uh okay well this videos only gonna get worse now as if you don't remember that aim of the game is to pick a category
See what people are googling and fill in the blank so let's start with P: lets do it... what is what is the best kind of
P: kind ooooof
P: chocolate D: euthanasia P: no it's gonna be chocolate
I think i've goggled that like five times?! D: okay let's see... P: oh?
D: immediate rekt oh what you thought people cared about chocolate?!-
P: alright. D: It's not even in the top 10.
P: Well i need to google that some more
lets go into the mind of a googler.
D: Sex! oh f**k ok I need a double x that.
P: The best kind of... DOG.
D: oOOOoooOOooooOOOOoOooO. Faith in humanity restored
P: I'm going to keep score, even though it doesn't mean anything
D:Oh right so you-your just proud you guessed some and now your keeping score even though it doesn't mean anything and we're just playing for fun.
P: Come on Dani beat dog D: What is the best.
Dammit the answer is normal coke fight me. P: coconut oil, weed (24 blazin) bear
P: *laughs* why is bear there for?
D: What is the best kind of bad about bear.
P: *laughs over it again* Polar bear I recon.
D:the best kind of christmas tree, steak, water to drink. P: Dog food!
D: Magnesium to take? P:that's something a lot of people are googling D: I can't believe this fine, right. next round. P: what happens if you microwave...
D: *musical says* your soul!!!! P: I almost said a dog. (me: same) D: *musicaly again cause why not* a caT!
D: What the f**k is wrong with people- P: HOW DID YOU KNOW!! D: -and i'm so glad! write it down.
D: jiminee mister i'm keeping the score. Let's play for who has to take the bins out. P: Alright it's fine. That's the wh-
D: It's snowing in england right now. P: It's snowing and that is a big point of contention between us both.
P: What happens if you microwave a light bulb? My friend did it at university.
[Dan slowly absorbing this information while typing]
D: What? P: Yeah. We ruined the university microwave. We put like- D: Well no sh*t if you wh- in a micro- P: Don't do this.
D: wh- what aspect of a light bulb wouldn't be a disaster? P: The light bulb glows rainbow colors
P: and then it explodes glass everywhere. D: Okay. P: It was quite exciting but then we couldn't make popcorn for the rest of the year.
D: Okay, [mumbles] mine. What happens if you microwave foil?
P: Ooo D: [breaks the table for the 239109th time] Damn it!
D: What? Really? The one thing you're not supposed to microwave other than the cat P: This- this is morbid but i think if people are searching "cat",
P: they might be searching "dog". D: What kind of dog can you fit in a fucking microwave? P: I don't know...
P: Dry ice?
P: What would happen?
[throwback to The Amazing Tour Is Not On Fire 2016] P: Create a wormhole.
Dan: [reading from screen] Um, metal, weed- [sigh] m- f- wh- what's wrong with y- P: What's with all the weed?
P: Spoon. [laughs] D: What would happen if you microwave fire? [about to have a mental breakdown]
D: What does that even mean?
D: What happens if you microwave nothing? Oh my god. P: An egg.
P: I have microwaved the odd spoon and it's very scary when that happens. D: Why?
P: It's if you just like making a hot chocolate you leave the spoon in and it's like- [makes buzzing noises] and you're like-
P: God, I'm dying. What's happening? Have I radiated my brain? D: You think like how does Phil get into all these any dangerous situations?
D: He can't even make a hot chocolate without like creating a tesla hole or something. Okay, right. P: I know. That's what happens.
D: Well, floppy ding-dong. P: Well done on the cat, you sssssickO
D: That's fine. I think i'm gonna go with names. D&P: Peter...
P: [cutely] Me! Me! Rabbit.
P: Who's not searching Peter Rabbit? He’s like the main Peter. D: [hooting]
*Owl and wolf noises*
D: Parker. *noise of failure* What the fuck? P: Yeah take that. He's not relevant anymore. D: Infinity War is coming out in like three weeks. [i can't wait]
P: Oh yeah. He is relevant. D: And Peter Rabbit is a movie that's out now. D&P: Poor Peter. D: And people freaking- okay, go on.
P: Yes! D: Ohhhohoho
P: Thank you Dinklage. Tyrion for the win.
D: Peter Pan *the sound of redemption* (good job Dan :D)
P: Ooh how did I forget Peter Pan? D: [dabs] (i want to disown him)
D: Let's fly away to Neverland. P: Yep. D: [sound effects] Alright.
P: [giggling] Is that the noise he makes when he flies away? D: Yeah the Sonic noise.
P: [sound effects] D: Neverland zone.
P: Peter... Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
P: A peck of pickled peppers that Peter Piper picked. D: Alright people are gonna make Peter- P: [continues spitting sick rhymes]
P: that Peter Piper picked! D: Well done. P: Yeah, I almost did that... D: Or not.
P: on stage in primary school and everyone clapped 'cause I didn't get it wrong.
D: I'm not a pheasant plucker i'm a pheasant plucker's son and i will keep on plucking pheasants to my pheasant pluckings done P: Don't get us demonetized.
D: Shut the shutter and sit in the shop P: *tries to say it and messes up*
P: [laughing] That was close. That one...
D: [reading from screen] Peter Cushing, Thiel
D: Townsend, Griffin obviously, Herman, Pan bus. P: What's a Peter Pan bus? D: Do you want to know? P: Who gets on a Peter Pan bus?
D: Someone who wants to take children away to Neverland. P: Well that's something about that.
D: Well there we go. Oh dear, Phil.
D: Looks like you're gonna be dredging in the snow with a big- P: I'm not going to be dredging- D: I'll make sure you smash loads of glass and put it in the bin.
P: It's really scary. Sometimes there's other residents in the binroom when you don't know they're gonna be there and then they walk in. D: Have to make awkward conversations.
D: "So about uh.."
P: Bins ay. D: The bins ay... Some nice recycling you got there. P: Stinky one today, Janet. D: Got some cardboard myself.
D&P: Culture. P: Apple... D: Like where, what's his face from Queer Eye. P: Yeah. D: Kimono, whatever his name is.
D: [randomly spouting rhyming words] Komodo. P: Meccano? What's he called? D: Kenco?
P: Kamano. Karano. K- Kamaro. It's Kamaro.
P: Like who's gonna be searching for apple juice. Like "Oh I'll go to Google tonight. Apple juice." That's like, why would you google that [laughing while Dan rages]
P: You say like, "Why is apple juice the colour pee". D: Get away from me with your logic. Alright go on then.
P: Apple... D: [singing] Bottom jeans.
D: Boots, with the fur,. P: Tree. D: [continues singing] with the fur.
D: [inaudible pettiness] Oh... why would people just go on Google and google...
D: [weird baby noise] APPLE TREE
P: Where's your sportsmanship, Dan?
D: Where's yours? P: Imagine you at the Olympics. D: You left it up an apple tree I think. P: Alright.
D: [rages] P: Watch, store... How do we forget- D: Fuck
D: [reading from screen] Apple watch, Apple store, Apple TV
D: Apple pie. P: Apple tree. D: Apple ID, Apple Support, apple crisp..?
D: Who's googling "apple crisps"?
D: They are not very nice. I'm sorry. P: They're not. They're kinda bad. D: They're just not like, of all the things, you could turn into crisps, apple crisps are among the worst things I tried.
P: I.. I can't believe i just was not in the right century with my apple tree. I could've had an Apple watch.
D: Yeah, more like 1918, am I right?
P: Next round.
D: Okay, I'm gonna start. What body parts can you..
D: Damn it!
D: Really? E-
P: You spelt it wrong! D: Oh... I spelt it wrong.
P: Lots of cannibals out there. I remembered it from last time.
D: Are you joking? P: I'm not joking.
D: There's a lot of cannibals but there's a lot of black market organ sellers. Yeet.
P: Does anyone want my eyes? They don't really work. D: No, yours would be like...
D: You know, you have to pay somebody to remove them.
P: What body part- shave.
P: No! D: rekt, [reading from screen] wrap at the same time.. P: "Live without". That's kind of what you were trying to say. D: Pierce.
P: Crack, cup donate, not live without, donate for money.
D: Right, okay, people are like "I can lose like a lung and a half right?"
D: Culture. P: Alright.
D: Famous celebrity...
D: Couples. P: Aw, that's so easy!
D: [teasing] Ohhh, is it though? P: Ohh..
D: Well, if you get the number 2 answer then there's no problems.
P: People are gross so I think it might be sex tapes.
D: Ohhh, Phil, you dirty person. I'm saying- Damn it! People don't want pets? Who doesn't want famous celebrity pets? P: Haircuts!
D: Ohhh P: No!
D&P: [reading from screen] Birthdays, deaths. D: Death photos... P: Jeez.
D: That's worse than nudes. P: What's wrong with you? D: [continue reading from screen] Murders, deaths-
D: 2016, very specific. Phil: Yep. D: [continues reading] Siblings, snapchat, photographers. D&P: And feuds.
P: I'm sorry about sex tapes. D: The great feud of Dan and Phil 2018 after the Google Feud video.
P: [sound effects and being cute]
P: Questions. Does my boss...
P: Hate me.
D: OHHHHHHHH P: Yes! D: OHHHHHH
D: Like me.
D: [high-pitched hyena laugh and scream]
D: Oh my god. P: How do you always get the top one? D: Just call me Danny Quint 10.
P: Oh my god, you deserve a Google medal on your nose.
D: I deserve for this video to be triple monetized.
P: [doing the velociraptor noise]
P: No! D: No, they don't. OHHHH P: They don't care.
P: They don't care... D: Does my boss...
D: Have a boss.
D: No! Okay right? P: Inception there.
D: I was a Jaden Smith answer. P: Want to fire me, that's what I thought originally.
P: No! D: It is...
P: [reading from screen] Answers? D: Does my boss answers? P: Doesn't make sense...
D: [reading from screen] Love me, mmm... respect me. P: Appreciate me. D: Daddy!
D: [continues reading] Trust me, value me, not like me, have feelings for me. Jesus, okay, wow, we didn't go around the range of human emotion there fast enough.
D: Questiones. P: Why are my dogs. D: Why are dogs. P: Oh why are dogs.
D: Damn it! Different breeds! I don't know! Shut up!
D: Good pets.
D: Dammit. P: This could be it. Why are dogs...
D: [reading from screen] Noses wet. P: Ohhh. How did I not think of the noses? D: Haram? P: Better than cats.
P: Noses cold, loyal, protective. D: The best pets.
D: Okay! Well, we are asking the wrong questions there. P: Did dogs write that? I don't believe it.
D: I think dogs fill out all those answers. P: I think they must have.
P: Questions. D: Who is the world's richest...
D: [dabs with sound effect] (i'm officially unstanning)
D: Sorry, sorry, I'm ironically dabbing out of just pure ecstasy. P: Woman.
P: I'll take it. D: Who is the world's
D: Um... P: It might be their animal. D: Who the fuck is gonna google world's richest animals? P: Me. I'd google that. D: They, they own property, do they? P: Yeah.
D: Busi-. P: That, I don't think that's how you spell it. D: Business man.
P: Um, celebrity. It's me, it's me.
D: Ohhh P: w0t
P: [reading from screen] man, woman. D&P: Family
D: Rapper, actor, person in 2016, author, man 2016, black woman and singer.
D: Was this game made in 2016? P: I think it might have been, yeah. D: And they never change the answers?
P: I think we need to put our brains back into 2016.
D: I'm on tour. It's never ending. I'm on a bus.
P: One more. D: One last one, are you ready? Final round. [singing] It's the final google-
P: [sound effect]
D: Question. Is it safe to eat raw... P: It's me! It's me! It's me!
D: Who the fuck isn't searching chicken, beef or meat?
P: I don't know there's a raw- D: I mean, the other one. Right.
P: No. That's sushi and that's fine. Kind of. You can still get parasites from it if you're wondering.
P: Is it safe to eat raaawwwww (yeehaw boy 2.0)
D: Dammit! Eggs is number one. Why didn't I say eggs.. [rages for the 30189382th time]
P: Why did I say "sewage"? D: [turned into a demon]
D: I don't know, Phil. P: Of course it's not safe.
P: Of course it's not safe. D: Time to round up these scurry ding-dongs and see which one of us is gonna be taking out
D: the trash all the way to the binroom in the snow. P: But you're already the trash. How can you take yourself out Dan? [ba-dum-tsk]
D: I mean okay well, I, I feel like we've had a friendly game and you just ruin the whole thing by making it really competitive.
D: What is 7,000 add 4,000 add 8,000 add 9,000 add 7,000 add 8,000 add 7,000 add 9,000 add 9,000 add 3,000 add 2,000?
Siri: The answer is 73,000.
P: Oooo good score. D: Good score.
D: What is 10,000 add 10,000 add 10,000 add 10,000 add 10,000 add 10,000 add 1,000 add 5000?
Siri: That would be 66,000.
D: NOOOOO P: Yes!
P: [singing] You're taking the trash! You are trash! I'm not trash. D: But Phil's so messy...P: You're going to be cold. Yay!
D: He scrapes his plates and it just goes everywhere. There's always bin juice because Phil just pours things into the bin instead of emptying them into the sink first. P: Sorry Dan.
P: That's how the bin crumbles. D: There's gonna be weird yoghurt and shit everywhere.
P: That's how the bin crumbles.
P: Well, that was Google Feud. Haven't played it for a while because the website didn't work but now it's back.
P: I'd like to play it again. Give us a thumbs up if you'd like to play again. Are you just staying down there? D: I'm in a bad mood right now.
P: Alright, well if you want to subscribe, subscribe. Subscribe to my channel and maybe Dan's as well.
D: Forget that shit.
P: Our last video's over there and remember,
P: Don't microwave animals, I'm being serious. What's wrong with you?
D: What, anything that isn't food, you weirdos.