Follow US:

Practice English Speaking&Listening with: $500 Subway Footlong Taste Test

(0)
Difficulty: 0

- Today we eat a sandwich that costs more

than a pair of Yeezys.

- Let's talk about that.

(funky electronic music)

(fire crackles)

Good Mythical Morning.

- I have a riddle.

What do a Big Mac, a Crunchwrap Supreme,

a Chick-fil-A sandwich, a Chipotle burrito,

and a McGriddle sandwich all have in common?

- Um.

- They've all seen me naked.

Also we've taken all of those fast food items

and made them expensive, fancy versions.

- Yeah and today we wanna experience a fancified version

of a Subway sub.

Mythical chef Josh and Mythical producer Alex!

- Woo woo!

Hey guys. - Hello.

- We have a challenge for you.

It's to do the air chair for as long as you can right now.

- Okay we'll just wait. - Actually,

your mission if you choose to accept it is

to go out into the wilderness and create a fancy,

$500 foot long cold cut combo Subway sub.

And then bring it back to this very desk.

Do you accept this mission?

- Yes. - Good because--

- Yeah. - That's what this episode

is about. - That's great.

- So go, make the $500 foot long sub

and we'll just wait here for them to bring it back,

ever how long it takes,

it's not like they've already done it and taped it

and edited it and we're just gonna watch it

basically right now in a few seconds.

- Yeah we're just settling in.

It's time for Fancy Fast Food: Subway Edition.

- Welcome to my Subway van.

I rented it from a guy named Jared.

We're doing $500 foot longs this week

and I'm here with you because--

- You have a lot of sandwich experience 'cause you used

to work at Panera Bread Company.

- I did used to work at Panera Bread Company.

- Why'd you get fired?

- So what do you got there?

- So this is the Italian herb and cheese bread.

Everything starts in the bread and then the meats,

my three favorites, you have pepperoni and salami

and the super gray roast beef that looks like it died

probably 35, 40 years ago, provolone cheese,

olives, jalapenos, those are supposed to give a nice,

acidic brininess to it and then simply just red onion,

tomatoes, lettuce, red wine vinaigrette

and the best sauce at Subway.

- Italian. - No, southwest.

- So no mayo?

- There's mayo in the southwest sauce.

- Oh, I get extra mayo.

- You look like a guy who would get extra mayo.

- Yeah (chuckles) I do.

Okay so where am I going?

- You're going to Hollywood!

Remember American Idol, that was a cool show.

But for real we're going to Gwen in Hollywood.

They got the best meats in town.

- [Alex] Oh my God.

- [Josh] Wow.

- I know a lot about meat on account of I've had it

and this is the good stuff.

What do you think of that one?

- I actually think this looks like the thing

we should make roast beef out of.

- It's $90 a pound so as long as it's not extra

for avocado or anything like that,

four pounds should be probably enough.

So $403.20 is more money than I've ever had

in my bank account at one time.

I'm looking here and I'm not seeing

just circles of provolone.

These are square and that's just throwing me

way off my game, I mean, best case scenario,

they have a Boschetto al Tartufo.

- [Josh] Wait what?

What do we have?

- Oh, mama mia, it's the--

- [Together] Boschetto al Tartufo.

- [Alex] It's a circle just how daddy likes.

So I have payment.

- Oh. - Right in here.

- Do you want me to grab it? - Yeah.

- [Josh] Is that in here?

This is embarrassing,

I normally use him to kinda pay for meat.

Do you guys, are you guys cool with all quarters?

- Yeah we can do that. - There's more.

They're warmer when you get down.

We're just gonna call it square then.

- [Alex] Do we all hug now or?

- All right so we got all our meats our on display right?

We got this 80 day dry rib-eye from Gwen

that's really incredible, we got their lavender salumi

and we got their Finocchiona salumi which--

- But here's the thing.

Nobody hugged me over there.

No one cares.

We spent a lot of time with those people

and by that I mean that one girl.

- And then of course we have our cheese

so I got this Boschetto al Tartufo right,

and then we got some Parmigiano-Reggiano.

Gonna put that on our version

of Subway's Italian herb and cheese bread

and then we got this beautiful black winter truffle

that we're gonna use to make that Subway southwest sauce.

- Which I thought was a rock.

- And then we have this beautiful bottle of Madame Rose,

which is actually a sour that we're gonna be using

to make the pickles.

And then we got this beautiful bottle of,

I'll let you pronounce it.

- [Alex] Uh, Clos du Marquis St. Julien Grand Vin, 2014.

- And then we're gonna reduce that

to make our red wine vinaigrette.

- Sure, this is my part of it.

I have red pepper, green boy,

white-o, gold, red, and also a,

I didn't realize this was an onion.

- It's not an onion. - It's not?

- It's a shallot, dude. - And then this is grass.

- Great so let's start this cooking process.

- I do a little bit of this when I'm soiling my meats

and then I do a rub on the side.

- Keep in mind this is a $400 piece of meat though.

- I'm trying to do an even thing here.

It's not great. - I think this is great.

So this is ready to go in the oven.

So now we gotta make our duck egg southwest sauce.

- These are from ducks?

(metal clanging)

- You never wanna crack on that sir.

- [Alex] Duck eggs are tougher than a chicken.

- I found out earlier that you don't know

what mayonnaise is. - That's true.

I think mayonnaise could be sour cream based

which I think is pretty good.

- Close, it's an emulsification of eggs and oil,

the eggs of course serving as the protein or binder.

- Oh it's eggs. - To whip it, it's eggs.

- We're making mayonnaise right now.

- We're making mayonnaise right now, baby.

Do you want to be the pitcher or the catcher,

so to speak? - Let's just say

I'm more of a catcher.

- Need to get this going as fast as you can

and then while I'm doing this, you're gonna drip that oil in

as slowly as possible, okay? - This one?

Oh we could have done this the whole time?

(mixer whirs)

I think we're doing good.

That looks magical, that looks like mayonnaise.

- So I've done this, I've pureed some chipotles

in adobo right there.

Spoon some of that into there.

All right that's a good plop.

Then you're gonna do a quarter a teaspoon,

whatever you think that is.

- No.

- One quarter of a teaspoon. - Big boy or little boy?

- A teaspoon's a little boy, you've drank tea before?

- That'll do. - That's pretty good, man.

There you go. - Oh this is pretty good.

- They sound like Donald Duck to me.

- Like we're murdering him.

- All right so now we gotta make our red wine vinaigrette.

They say you shouldn't cook with any wine

that you wouldn't personally drink.

- Now I'll just pour-- (coughs)

Strong. - Pour it in, man.

- Pour it in? - Pour it in.

- Oh! - You're doing fine.

- So we got our shallots here.

- Two seconds, what's the difference between a shallot

and an onion?

- More flavory!

- Done. - Then we're gonna add

a few cracks of black pepper in there.

- And what are we making right now again?

- We're making the red wine vinaigrette.

- That's right. - Sauce.

We're just gonna go ahead and add a solid two tablespoons

of that guy right in there.

So you're gonna add a little bit of that Balsam Oro

and then we're just gonna pour a little bit

of our reduced red wine right into the pot.

So we're gonna start this going slowly--

- No there's no top!

- What? - There's no top.

- Yeah you're the top. - Oh okay.

The fire stuff is burning me, dude.

- What fire stuff? - The fire wine is burning.

- What do you mean the fire wine, it's not even hot.

You're just scared.

You gotta learn to differentiate between fear and pain.

And now our red wine vinaigrette's done.

- We did it.

- So this dough has been rising for about three hours.

- I been watching my special stories back there.

- Yeah, anything good going on?

- No.

- So you're gonna take that and you're gonna roll it

into our sub loaf shape until it fits

the dimensions of this pan so you want it to be flush

against the side of that.

- I literally did it first time.

Greatest cook to ever live.

- [Josh] We're gonna go ahead and score this,

you know like-- - 10.

I've been waiting for that one.

- Then we're gonna go ahead and we're just gonna rub

a little bit of that truffle oil we already got going

through the bread.

Grate a bunch of Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese,

and then taste these Italian herbs.

- Raw?

- Big time.

How do you feel about that?

- Pretty good.

- Pickles, we gotta make pickles.

And we're actually gonna pickle them

in this Madame Rose Belgian-style wild ale.

- How much? - Just pour it all in the pot.

You're gonna boil it. - This part scares me.

(sizzling)

- You're doing great though.

So all you gotta do is keep your fingers away

from the blade so hold it right up at the top,

you're just gonna grip it really firmly.

- Right here. - Yeah the not, no, not--

- Yeah.

Here we go.

I almost sliced my finger off.

Whoa that was close.

Oh my God.

I'm gonna start to take your lessons way more seriously

starting now. - That's great.

So this is elephant garlic,

this is one large clove of garlic and the best part

about elephant garlic is that it's super mild

so you can just eat a chip straight up.

- It's not.

It tastes just like the regular kind if not worse.

- All right so what we need to do with these pickles

is get 'em covered in salt.

Salt's gonna get in the cell walls of the vegetable

and that's gonna give this really nice--

- Garlic is just in my mouth.

- You're gonna like it when it's all done.

- How long does this have to sit for?

- Two weeks.

- Okay. - And then seal this up.

And we're gonna wait two weeks.

- It reacted badly with the garlic. (groans)

- We're kinda on the home stretch of this one, man.

- Yeah, more sharp stuff, great.

- Go slow and really push into there.

Look at that, that's nice.

We got hot beef flying in.

So we're just gonna cut off the twine.

You wanna try and roll that guy off.

Again are you scared or are you hurt?

- Half. - So we're not just gonna

hit this with a direct flame, we're actually gonna hit it

with pure diffused heat.

Yeah fire it up.

And then, yeah, that's great.

Try and really go on the top, try and hit the exposed fat.

Oh my God. - It's on fire.

- (blows) It's great.

(fire blasts)

(blows)

You're doing awesome. - It's still on fire.

(both blowing)

- All right so now we're just gonna throw it

into our slicer.

- That looks good. - All right man.

Bread is finally done

and now we can start building this sandwich.

So we're gonna go ahead and put down a huge base

of our southwest sauce that's got a lot

of that truffle in it.

We're gonna take literally all of this meat,

this is about what three pounds,

and we're just gonna take that--

- That's exactly three. - Yeah?

So we got all of our meat on there.

We wanna pack it in so like--

- This part's a little erotic for me.

- [Josh] And we got just thousands of salami coins.

- You know what's crazy is I'm still a vegetarian.

- Yes. - Still.

- I've handled a lot of meat,

I just don't put it in my mouth.

- All right now we gotta alternate colors on the tomatoes

and then I always get olives at Subway

so we're going Castelvetranos.

Catch this in your mouth.

- That's unbelievable.

Did you see that?

Look at our pickles. - Yeah.

(sputters)

- It took two weeks and we did it so fast.

So much faster than that. - Oh crap.

- What? - You think they like

their sub toasted?

- Tough.

- We gotta redo it now. - No no no.

- [Josh] This sucks.

- [Alex] This is beautiful.

This is the most beautiful sandwich I've ever seen.

- We just gotta crown it.

- [Alex] Oh my God.

- [Josh] I'm so proud of us.

- I wanna name this thing.

Its name is, three, two, one.

- Carl. - Carl.

- Do you want that hug?

- Yeah.

Thanks.

- No. - Ooh!

- I was coming in-- - Right.

Thanks, man.

- And they made it and they're back!

Okay guys, a freakin' $500

foot long sub.

- It's so big!

- Oh my word.

- [Rhett] What is the other one over there?

- [Link] It's wider in real life than I thought

it would be. - That's the original.

- Just a regular cold cut. - Okay.

- This is just to give you just a point of reference.

- Yeah yeah, exactly.

- It's a little bit bigger than a foot

because Subway's is actually smaller than a foot.

It's just short of 11 inches.

- Is that right? - There was a lawsuit

about that. - There was a lawsuit

about that and so if we get sued for our sandwich

being too big, I'm fine with that.

- A couple lawsuits going on.

- You might be-- - I don't really wanna

taste this. - 18 inches over there

with Carl, I don't know.

- It's 16 exactly. (Rhett chuckles)

- All right, so let's taste this thing.

Slice it open. - All right.

You mind if I-- - Please.

- Get an elbow-- - After you.

It makes sense as far as my participation goes.

- Did you have fun though? - That's a $500 cut.

- [Alex] Yeah I had a blast.

- Oh yeah, okay and you're gonna, yeah--

- Four.

- We each get our own section.

- So is this-- - You could technically

just leave that there 'cause then you can have mine.

- Yeah I'll just take your part.

You wanna look at me while I eat though?

- Yeah, of course. - Let's open this up.

Oh my goodness. - Wow!

- Look at that.

- [Alex] Camera's that way, Josh.

- My cameras are this way, I wanna--

- My two eye cameras. - Oh my goodness.

- There you go Rhett. - Right here.

- You wanna grab that one? - That is very silly.

This is a very silly sandwich.

- It's got so much heft to it.

- Hold on, I know you're trying to sneak that

tomato in there. - Oh come on man.

- It would have messed up the balance if we didn't.

- There's another one. - Your balance is

messed up now. - I'm gonna leave that one.

- All right let's dink it.

I wanna put this thing in my mouth. (chuckles)

- All right.

Three-way dink it.

- And sink it.

Oh man, I got a little mouth but I got big ideas.

- This is nice for us.

It looks good. - Mm.

I did not think that an exorbitantly priced

deli sandwich could be remarkably better

than just the normal, but it absolutely is.

- This is the best beef I've ever had.

- Mission accomplished, boys.

- This comes out to about $500,

that's how the math works out?

- [Josh] $500.77 which I actually--

(Link chuckles)

Took out-- - You failed!

- The truffle-- (laughing)

- You went over.

- I think with Link discarding that tomato,

it's probably-- - Yeah it's probably right

at $500. - Yeah we'll throw that

in the trash. - Well boys,

you did an incredible job.

- Equally, the both of us.

- Alex, you know what, for your hard work.

- Oh, just like old times.

- You can have this, what do you call that one?

It's not Carl.

- This has gotta be like-- - Ephrem.

- Ugly Ted or something.

- Ugly Ted. (chuckles)

- Okay remember that Josh is gonna shave that mustache

for a great charity called No Kid Hungry.

So go ahead and donate to ensure that that stache

will be shaved, it needs to be shaved.

- Mm-hmm. - The link to donate is

in the description and the shaving will happen

on an upcoming LTAT.

- Thank you for liking, commenting and subscribing.

- You guys say you know what time it is.

- Oh we get to.

- On three, one, two--

- [Alex And Josh] You know what time it is.

- Hi I'm Bella and I'm on my lunch break from work

in Burbank, California and it's time

to spin the Wheel of Mythicality.

- Bella in Burbank, right around the corner.

- Lunch break Bella! - I know where that is.

- Click the top link to watch us make

a $143 fancy Subway salad using all of our fancy

Subway scraps in Good Mythical More.

- And to find out where the wheel's gonna land.

Move at the speed of conversation with us.

Subscribe to Ear Biscuits wherever you listen to podcasts.

The Description of $500 Subway Footlong Taste Test