Miles: Why hello and welcome to "A Million Dollars But..."
M: I'm your host for today, Miles Luna, and with me are my friends
M: Kerry "The Man" Shawcross
M: And Gray Haddock
M: Welcome boys
Gray: Ey! Kerry: Thank you
M: Hey, we all do animated stuff right?
M: We got a little theeeme going for today
G: *nod of approval* M: So why don't we just er... you know do some fun goofs that are maybe animated related
M: Oh that's fun to say G: Oh go
M: Animated related
M: No... it's not that fun G: *laughs*
M: I said it a second time and I'm over it now
M: Million dollars BUT
M: Randomly, once per day, one of your thoughts is going to be projected above your head as a thought bubble-
K: *pop* M: That everrrryone can see
M: It can be something as mundane as "Ooo I forgot my car keys"
M: And you see a little bubble of your little stick figure whatever person going "Oh!" and then thinking of keys
M: Or it could be in the middle of a meeting.
"I really want to f**king punch that person"
M: And then you know, we get a nice little fun bubble of you just mercilessly beating a person in the room to a bloody pulp
M: And that could maybe be a little awkward for everyone else at that table
K: Okay, some- sometimes you're talking to people.
K: Maybe you sugarcoat things a little
K: If you send me over a script Miles M: Yeah yeah yeah
K: And I'm like, "Yeah yeah I-I think... I think that line could work". And like over my head is just like
M: It's just you holding a lighter up to the script and watching it burn and then peeing on it K: Yeah
G: But no really, what if it was spoilers?
M: Imagine being at a movie theatre where you've seen the movie before
M: Not only could a potential spoilery thought pop up in your head
"You're blocking the f**king view asshole! Down in front!"
G: And then everyone in the room's pissed off at you
G: It would force you to be that much more open and natural with everybody and just admit-
"Hey we're all human. We all have these thoughts" "We all think about f**king each other sometimes"
M: Yes! G: I was gonna say "Come together"
K: Yeah exactly G: But there we go All: *agrees at the thoughts of "come/cum together"
M: Alright, would you do it? Million dollars?
G: Yeah I would do it K: It's one thought a day, yeah I'd do it
M: I think- K: *points somewhere above* Oh I can see it
M: I think I'd do it and you'd know K: That's- that's what it was
K: Also it was weird. It was just you blowing me
K: I don't know why... that was above your head G: *wheezes*
M: So this is the last time we're all hanging out right? All: Yeah...
K: Million dollars but...
M: That's a lot of money K: It is Miles
G: Very tempting K: It is
K: So every time you get aroused, you have a tentacle that comes out of your pants *squishing noises*
*tentacle boop* K: That is sentient, for the rest of your life
M: Is this thing replacing my doodle? Or...?
K: I would like to be VERY clear right now M: Please do
K: This is NOT your penis M: O- *starts laughing* Okay, good to know
K: This is penis adjacent M: Okay...
K: Shaft? Your friend
G: How do you prescreen potential dates if this is what's going on with you?
K: I feel like you could just throw that around and it would be easier?
M: "Hey do you like calamari? BOY do I have a surprise for you!"
*laughter* K: Yeah but I- That could be his name, Sushi!
K: He helps out with your date.
M: Whats sushi gonna do, tenderly go up and like, brush her hair out of her face?
M: That's COOL, but its gonna leave a slug trail on her face.
K: Well and that's when he comes in with a napkin, cutely dabs it away M: Okay-
K: A little suction gets stuck, hes gotta like pull it off- M: That's kinda cute.
K: He's there to facilitate (G: Okay) the act.
M: I'm hearing right now NOTHING but positives from this scenario, if i'm being completely honest.
G: You're getting out of the car, you've got that one extra bag of groceries that you don't want to go back to the car for-
K: "I'm getting this diet soda in the house right now goddammit" *whipcrack*
M: "Ughhh Jennifer Lawrence Jennifer Lawrence Jennifer Lawrence, help me out!" *cackling laughter*
G: Bonus round.
G: Can you, per extra million dollars, get another tentacle? M: *gasp of excitement*
G: How many would you do, if you- if you were- M: Six.
G: That was FAST K: That's it?? M: Can I just say-
M: Can I just say- cause then its nice and symmetrical,
M: You got your Johnson out there and then you got three on each side-
M: You got Sushi, Sishi, Sashi, Soshi, Suchi..
M: And Steven.
M: And now you've got the whole- the gangs all here, you've got this great presentation!
K: I would have, like, a hula skirt situation. *laughter*
K: Go to the beach, "Ahh shit I forgot my trunks. Don't worry." *gross squishy noise*
M: Fuuuck. K: "I'm all good now!"
G: "By the way, your ass looks GREAT today."
K: So, a million large ones...
K: Would you...have...a little arousal...tentacle buddy?
G: Yeah I- I'm faking like i'm pausing to think- *laughter*
K: Its just for the camera. Absolutely.
M: I'm into some weird shit, i'd do it
M: And let me say, I would like the -six- million.
G: A million dollars.
K: That's alotta money.
M: Fuck you, let him finish! G: It is alot of money!
G: For the rest of your life, any time you have even the slightest disagreement,
G: It must be settled with an anime style fight.
K: Ohhhhh. G: Yeahhh.
M: Alright, here's my question though, what kind of anime fight are we talking here?
M: Are we talking, like, Samurai Champloo
M: Like *schoo* one person looks the other one down, *schoo*, the other one looks the other one down,
M: Theres only one cup of coffee left, *shiing* one move and-
M: Oh he's cut in half now and you win.
M: Are we talking about some Dragon Ball Z ass 13 episode drawn out shit?!
M: Its like "Yo hey Kerry i'm pretty sure -this- is how you spell the word 'yea' "
M: And you go "Uh, i'm sorry, -this- is how you spell the word 'yeah' "
M: And then we look at each other, and for the next thirteen hours go:
G: Yeah, I can already see this is going horribly awry. K: Now Gray..
K: I'm- I'm gonna dip into your personal life for a second G: Sure.
K: You have a two year old kid.
G: And she's learned the word no... *laughter*
K: You have a very sweet daughter, but if she doesn't wanna eat them veggies.. G: Yeah..
K: OR, you find out she's super strong
K: And you come in with a black eye and we're like "Gray are you okay" and you're like "I'm fine"
M: "Shes, turns out, uh, Gohan."
M: "Yeah but i'm just telling everyone I fell into a doorknob."
G: So, I mean, it either occurs that you've gotta become the most polite person ever.
M: OR the most passive aggressive person ever.
K: "Cool fine, YOU get the muffin, i'm going to the hospital now thanks."
M: And then i'll say "You cant go to the hospital, we have another meeting after this!"
K: And i'll say "No I have to go to the hospital, cause now my arms wrong cause you broke it!"
M: Your office is right next to the writers room
M: Say goodbye to that fucking wall cause it's gonna explode about 37 times per day.
K: "Oop, that scripts gonna be late, alright yeah..."
M: I don't think I can do it.. K: My profession...
K: Would not happen if that was true.
G: Oh man I am tempted, but-
G: I- I actually think that might complicate life just a little too much.
M: You think JUST a little? G: Just a little bit, there's other things I wanna do.
M: Well gentlemen, I think we learned a lot about each other, and made a lot of money in the process!
M: So thank you! K: I think we learned TOO much about eachother if i'm being frank.
M: Let's agree to disagree, hopefully not in- G: Not into an anime fight.
M: Yeahhh, about the whole thing
Blaine: Hey guys, thanks for watching Million Dollars, But™
If you enjoyed this episode you're probably going to enjoy our game.
We've got the MDB party game, as well as the expansion packs available at MDBgame.com
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So that you can find out what you, your family, your friends would all do for a million dollars.
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Can you have a great day?