Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Spot On Shorts Victor & Albert's Northern Line Adventure

Normal
(0)
Difficulty: 0

Im sitting on the tube with a bloke named Gordon

Were going via Bank and well terminate at Morden

Travelling for work and travelling for pleasure

We're going down to Oval to enjoy a bit of leisure.

We applaud all the folk that travel back and forth

We Clapham in the South and Clapham in the North

Whether Christian, Sikh or Bhuddist, or Muslim, Jew or Mormon

Well applaud them if theyre posh and well Clapham if theyre common

Your friends I really like but for some I do not care

What about Leicester? Leicester? Square!

What about my friend the chef; He was a vegan gourmet

His menu turned my bum into a Tooting Broadway

Tooting Broadway

We played for your mates footie team which ended in a loss.

I seem to remember that it made Brent Cross

Our side had a family but they werent very good

They wouldnt play again But the Colliers Wood

the Colliers Wood

The Northern Line the Northern Line We ride it all the time

I sometimes travels on my own, Or with a friend of mine

Underground or overground there's plenty to explore

Just mind the gap and stand clear of the closing doors

(Please stand clear of the doors)

At Goodge St that restaurant was serving up pheasant

No - that was at a friends house in Mornington Crescent

You helped that lovely lady and her son came to thanks us

No, that was in a chip shop near Kings Cross St Pancras

I saw a dodgy geezer who had a funny face

I thought I should report him as he looked so out of place.

There was a virus on the tube; I think I very nearly caught it.

I heard a whiny voice saying See it, say it. SORTED!

In some drunken late night loving I very nearly drowned

But luckily his girlfriend had to change at Kentish town

She smothered me in love, she covered me in kisses

But she left the tube of love for National Rail Services

I got off at South Wimbledon with a lady named Sharon

Maybe it wasnt there; it was possibly at Balham

That was Rebecca the trumpet player how could you forget?

How could anybody not remember Tooting Bec!

Tooting Bec.

The Northern, The Northern Line, We ride it all the time

I sometimes travels on my own, Or with a friend of mine

Underground or overground there's plenty to explore

Just mind the gap and stand clear of the closing doors

(Please stand clear of the doors)

I had colonic irrigation which was painful but was thorough

In a pop-up clinic at the market in Borough

I got measured up one tuesday night just after dark

On a park bench in Primrose Hill at Belsize Park

From Embankment then to Kennington I feel I ought to mention

Therell be a few more stops with the northern line extension

At Nine Elms and Vauxhall, life will be enlarged

And Battersea Power Station soon will be recharged.

At a bar in Charing Cross which they really stockwell

Id drunk way too much by the final bell

I shouldve had a wee I was about to explode

By the time we alighted at Tottenham Court Road

I thought Id hold it in all the way to Hendon Central

But by then I knew Id be going really mental

So before Golders Green I got off instead

To find a handy bush on the heath in Hampstead

The Northern, The Northern Line, We ride it all the time

I sometimes travels on my own, Or with a friend of mine

Underground or overground there's plenty to explore

Just mind the gap and stand clear of the closing doors

(Please stand clear of the doors)

At Warren Street I chanced to meet a fellow most irate

Hed been riding on the tube all the way from Highgate

He was wearing a grubby mac and looked like Alf Garnet

His wife was very tall with a very High Barnet

Id been taking the air at Camden Town

Id been feeling strangely high Then I felt really down

I met a nervous fellow who was going my way

After Tufnell Park he jumped off at Archway

I got so delayed when someone pulled the alarm

A drunk had kicked off on the tube at Chalk Farm

And for forty-five minutes there we would remain

Because the drunk in question had been trying to drive the train

And later on an unattended dodgy looking parcel

Had twenty trains backing up to Elephant and Castle

So my fate was to wait; I was already running late

For an appointment at Old Street and one at Moorgate

The Northern, The Northern Line, We ride it all the time

I sometimes travels on my own, Or with a friend of mine

Underground or overground there's plenty to explore

Just mind the gap and stand clear of the closing doors

(Please stand clear of the doors)

At London Bridge (where I fell down) I met a fair lady

She took him on to Woodside Park but then she turned crazy

She set at me with sticks and stones and then she tried to pinch me

I fled from her at greatest speed through West and East Finchley

Ive spotted some celebrities; at Angel; Whitney Huston

I engaged Patrick Stewart when I alighted at Euston

At Waterloo I sat upon a riverside bench

And my day was much improved with a glimpse of Judi Dench

I was on the Edge, Where? When I met a funny bloke

Colin? Dale? I think he said He came from Burnt Oak

He made me really nervous and I wanted to get home

He took the same train as me to Totteridge and Whetstone

But after thirteen stops my tension was released

When he changed at Finchley Central and went on to Mill Hill East

It's been quite a journey But never you fear

its the end of the line And this song...terminates here

The Description of Spot On Shorts Victor & Albert's Northern Line Adventure