Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Spot On Shorts Victor & Albert's Northern Line Adventure
Im sitting on the tube with a bloke named Gordon
Were going via Bank and well terminate at Morden
Travelling for work and travelling for pleasure
We're going down to Oval to enjoy a bit of leisure.
We applaud all the folk that travel back and forth
We Clapham in the South and Clapham in the North
Whether Christian, Sikh or Bhuddist, or Muslim, Jew or Mormon
Well applaud them if theyre posh and well Clapham if theyre common
Your friends I really like but for some I do not care
What about Leicester? Leicester? Square!
What about my friend the chef; He was a vegan gourmet
His menu turned my bum into a Tooting Broadway
Tooting Broadway
We played for your mates footie team which ended in a loss.
I seem to remember that it made Brent Cross
Our side had a family but they werent very good
They wouldnt play again But the Colliers Wood
the Colliers Wood
The Northern Line the Northern Line We ride it all the time
I sometimes travels on my own, Or with a friend of mine
Underground or overground there's plenty to explore
Just mind the gap and stand clear of the closing doors
(Please stand clear of the doors)
At Goodge St that restaurant was serving up pheasant
No - that was at a friends house in Mornington Crescent
You helped that lovely lady and her son came to thanks us
No, that was in a chip shop near Kings Cross St Pancras
I saw a dodgy geezer who had a funny face
I thought I should report him as he looked so out of place.
There was a virus on the tube; I think I very nearly caught it.
I heard a whiny voice saying See it, say it. SORTED!
In some drunken late night loving I very nearly drowned
But luckily his girlfriend had to change at Kentish town
She smothered me in love, she covered me in kisses
But she left the tube of love for National Rail Services
I got off at South Wimbledon with a lady named Sharon
Maybe it wasnt there; it was possibly at Balham
That was Rebecca the trumpet player how could you forget?
How could anybody not remember Tooting Bec!
Tooting Bec.
The Northern, The Northern Line, We ride it all the time
I sometimes travels on my own, Or with a friend of mine
Underground or overground there's plenty to explore
Just mind the gap and stand clear of the closing doors
(Please stand clear of the doors)
I had colonic irrigation which was painful but was thorough
In a pop-up clinic at the market in Borough
I got measured up one tuesday night just after dark
On a park bench in Primrose Hill at Belsize Park
From Embankment then to Kennington I feel I ought to mention
Therell be a few more stops with the northern line extension
At Nine Elms and Vauxhall, life will be enlarged
And Battersea Power Station soon will be recharged.
At a bar in Charing Cross which they really stockwell
Id drunk way too much by the final bell
I shouldve had a wee I was about to explode
By the time we alighted at Tottenham Court Road
I thought Id hold it in all the way to Hendon Central
But by then I knew Id be going really mental
So before Golders Green I got off instead
To find a handy bush on the heath in Hampstead
The Northern, The Northern Line, We ride it all the time
I sometimes travels on my own, Or with a friend of mine
Underground or overground there's plenty to explore
Just mind the gap and stand clear of the closing doors
(Please stand clear of the doors)
At Warren Street I chanced to meet a fellow most irate
Hed been riding on the tube all the way from Highgate
He was wearing a grubby mac and looked like Alf Garnet
His wife was very tall with a very High Barnet
Id been taking the air at Camden Town
Id been feeling strangely high Then I felt really down
I met a nervous fellow who was going my way
After Tufnell Park he jumped off at Archway
I got so delayed when someone pulled the alarm
A drunk had kicked off on the tube at Chalk Farm
And for forty-five minutes there we would remain
Because the drunk in question had been trying to drive the train
And later on an unattended dodgy looking parcel
Had twenty trains backing up to Elephant and Castle
So my fate was to wait; I was already running late
For an appointment at Old Street and one at Moorgate
The Northern, The Northern Line, We ride it all the time
I sometimes travels on my own, Or with a friend of mine
Underground or overground there's plenty to explore
Just mind the gap and stand clear of the closing doors
(Please stand clear of the doors)
At London Bridge (where I fell down) I met a fair lady
She took him on to Woodside Park but then she turned crazy
She set at me with sticks and stones and then she tried to pinch me
I fled from her at greatest speed through West and East Finchley
Ive spotted some celebrities; at Angel; Whitney Huston
I engaged Patrick Stewart when I alighted at Euston
At Waterloo I sat upon a riverside bench
And my day was much improved with a glimpse of Judi Dench
I was on the Edge, Where? When I met a funny bloke
Colin? Dale? I think he said He came from Burnt Oak
He made me really nervous and I wanted to get home
He took the same train as me to Totteridge and Whetstone
But after thirteen stops my tension was released
When he changed at Finchley Central and went on to Mill Hill East
It's been quite a journey But never you fear
its the end of the line And this song...terminates here
