General Kimball? We just got word from the away team.
What's the news?
Well... apparently they found Santa.
Kimball's moving ahead with the the assault.
They should be reaching Alpha any minute.
Then we gotta hurry.
I'm sure there is no end to your questions.
You have... no idea!
Alright, let's not start foaming at the mouth here.
I can foam wherever I want thank you very much!
[Santa clears his throat]
The legacy of my creators is scattered throughout the galaxy.
Their history, their technology,
all left behind for future species to discover.
This planet, the one you've claimed as Chorus,
was one of great importance.
It is here that they kept some of their most valued treasures
What kind of treasures are we talking about?
Like, Indiana Jones' gold mine of treasures?
Or... or is it stupid metaphorical stuff like,
"The real treasure was friendship the whole time!"
My creators bequeathed many gifts and you will find each locked away within a temple.
you triggered the temple arms. With its power, you reactivated combat vehicles, weaponry,
and a myriad of other technological marvels from a time long past.
These are merely a fraction of the gifts left behind by my creators.
So then why'd you turn it off?
I encountered... an anomaly.
The temples on this planet can only be activated by a key wielded by a true warrior.
However, some time ago, one of my temples was meddled with.
I wonder who that could've been.
Probably space pirates.
I was being facetious.
Dude, making up words is not going to help you sound smarter.
The temple was designed to create a defensive barrier around the planet by manipulating gravity.
The meddlers managed to circumvent my security measures and partially activated the temple,
giving them moderate control over the planet's gravitational field.
Tell them how the elves are involved, Santa.
He's talking about the tractor beams.
This act, should have been impossible without the great key.
Which brings me, to you.
I sensed your key's power at the Temple of Arms,
and allowed you to activate it.
But when you did not respond in the voice of my people,
protocol insisted I bring you here for further testing.
Sorry dude. Only language I speak, is American.
Weren't you an alien ambassador?
I never said I was a 'good' ambassador.
But why test us if Tucker already has the sword?
Because my records state that the Great Key of this planet,
has yet to be claimed.
Wait. There's another key?
In case you lock one in your car!
My God. They have thought of everything!
It lies in a mountain temple, to the east.
After the security failure, I had to be sure that the presence of two keys
was not an error in my programming.
It is now clear to me that although your key comes from another world,
it was in fact forged by my creators.
And is therefore, acceptable.
Sweet! Then that means we can go back to our tower and turn it on.
Alien weaponry for everyone!
And you said that was only a fraction of the stuff that's here, right?
Well... not to sound, greedy, but, uhhhhh...
What else you got?
Hmm... there is the Temple of Weather Manipulation,
Bountiful Harvest, Interior Decorating, Procreation, Communication, ...
Wait! What was that last one?
Activating this temple will allow you to send a message to virtually any communication device in the galaxy.
And what was the one before that?
Activating this temple will throw the inhabitants of Chorus into a ravenous sexual frenzy with the intent
to increase a potentially dwindling population.
We... won't be needing that one.
Well... let's not rule anything out!
Yo! Alien dude.
I refuse to call you that.
Look. We actually need to transmit a message to Earth, but there's been a bunch of radio jammers
keeping it from getting out.
You think this temple thing will be strong enough to break through them?
Well then that's it!
We don't need a full-on assault.
We don't even need alien weapons.
We just need to activate that temple and call for hep.
Then let's radio Kimball and get out of here.
Before you leave, I must warn you.
The gifts left behind by my creators are immensely powerful.
If taken by those less worthy, the results could be catastrophic.
Which is why my creators constructed The Purge.
That doesn't sound ominous at all!
As it's bearer, the Great Key will remain bonded to you, and you alone,
until the time of your death.
If you believe the inhabitants of this planet are not ready for my creators' gifts,
then activating The Purge, will cleanse them.
And by 'cleanse' you mean...?
All sentient life on Chorus will be exterminated.
And... where exactly is this thing?
I will also update all previously sent maps with temple locations.
Thanks. Look Carolina we gotta...
What do you mean maps?
The maps that were sent to the temples.
All of the temples?
And that was close.
Argh, they've been here the whole time!
And now, thanks to you,
...we've got all the intel we need.
What are you talking about?
As soon as their shield falls, open fire.
Just leave the Freelancer alive, for me.
You really think four people are enough to stop us?
You're only safe for as long as that shield is up.
And you've got no cover and a failing A.I.
So yeah, I do.
What is he talking about?
the rest of our guys are prepping for your friends at Alpha.
I hope you said something meaningful the last time you saw them,
...'cause you won't be seeing them, again.
Do you... hear something?
See? I told you the front-line's where the action is! Ha-ha!
That's why we didn't want to be here!
This is Colonel Sarge.
We've engaged the enemy
Copy that Red Leader. Good work.
All squads, remember your sectors! We've got multiple towers to take down and numerous...
Aww fuck me.
Take 'em out!
HAH! EH! IT'S A TRAP! Why is it always a trap!
They're cutting off our escape!
Where did they get more men!?
Come on Vanessa, give me a little credit.
I was your right-hand man for years.
You really didn't think I'd see this coming?
I got some news that's gonna make your day.
What if I told you I found a way to kill everyone on Chorus, with the turn of a key?
And what if I told you, I was heading to that key, right now?
I'd say you're gonna need backup.
Take a Pelican. I've got Alpha covered.
When you kill Kimball, go ahead and do it quick.
We were friends after all.
Mayday! Mayday! This is Vanessa Kimball to Armonia! We need immediate ground support!
Please respond! Over!
What the devil is happening out there?
Doyle goddammit pick up the fucking radio!
Ahem. Uh, yes Kimball, what is it?
The whole thing was a setup!
Charon's got way more men than we were led to believe!
They've got a ship and...
They ambushed us!
There there now, I'm sure everything will be fine.
NO!!! It will not be fine!
Forget the capitol, I need you to round up as many troops as you can and send them our way.
No need to keep quiet, just take the pelicans and make sure you're out of range of tractor beams.
Um, yes. Of course.
Doyle, wait! Can you hear me?
I know Kimball needs those reinforcements but we need them first.
I... I... I beg your pardon?
We're pinned down.
I need you to send a squad to the mountains east of our location.
Charon's already on their way there and we 'have' to beat them to it!
Carolina, what are you talking about? Beat them to what?
To a key that's going to end the world.
You're going to have to run that by me again.
Now that we have our own Youtube channel,
I've taken the liberty of reorganizing everything for a streamlined viewing experience.
Just hit subscribe to put it to use.
You're supposed to convince them to subscribe, not put 'em to sleep!
[sighs] I hate him so much.