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you've got to stop doing it unintentionally making the same mistakes

that pushes even scares great men away but it doesn't have to be that way in

this video we're going to talk about the most common ways that women

unintentionally push men away and I'm going to tell you exactly how to turn

things around and keep the man you want don't go anywhere because we're starting

right now hi everyone I'm dr. Antonio burello and I'm a psychologist in a

relationship coach this channel is all about helping you build great

relationships so you can grow happy with people you love if you're interested in

making your love life the best part of your life start now by clicking the

subscribe button and hit the bell notification so you aren't missing

anything okay on to the accidental ways that women scare men are so imagine the

scenario you met this perfect guy he's smart and funny and attractive and very

interested in you you start getting to know one another and you go on a date or

a few and just when you're starting to really like him poof he disappears on

you and leaves you wondering why does every guy like seem to drop off the face

of the earth after a few dates and what can I do to prevent it from happening

again well if you're engaging in one or more

of the following behaviors you're probably sabotaging your chances of

keeping a great guy around for long oh and make sure you watch all the way till

the end because I'm gonna tell you how to turn things around and prevent it

from happening again so without further ado here are the behaviors to look out

for number one you're over communicating and over texting keeping in regular

contact with the person you're dating is usually really sweet it's like you're

sharing your day with someone almost as if they're keeping you company and

making your day more enjoyable that is as long as the communication is balanced

meaning that he's initiating the conversation at least 50% of the time on

the other hand if you're the one that's usually contacting him it won't be long

before he'll begin to start seeing you as insecure and clingy so answer these

questions do you get anxious if he doesn't respond right away does your

heart drop when you realize he hasn't texted back for a while do you start

worrying that something's wrong if so that's a problem and if your

double and triple texting him without a response that adds to your anxiety and

raises the cleanness index tremendously and he will undoubtedly feel your

insecurities and neediness and that becomes very unattractive number two you

are way too available as I've said in other videos one of the most important

traits that men find attractive in women is independence in other words men are

attracted to women who have a full life not to a woman who comes off as needy

and clingy look I understand when you're excited about someone you want to spend

as much time with them as possible but you must make sure that you are keeping

up with the life you had prior to meeting him and you can't stop doing the

things that you were doing before you met him

so making keep plans with your girlfriends and keep your schedule busy

this goes a long way towards helping him to see you as a high-value woman with an

exciting life and when you do that he is going to want to be a part of that life

and when he isn't he's going to feel that too so yeah if you have your own

life men will find that independent sexy it reminds him that he is at the center

of your world so therefore he has to put more effort in to get to spend time with

you so keep active with the friendships and

activities you had before you met him because that's what made you who you are

remember your relationships started because of who you are if you lose your

identity you will likely lose a relationship to number three you

constantly stalk his social media like a private detective have you found

yourself scanning through his old pictures checking his timeline or even

checking out the profile of every single person who liked his latest post does

that sound familiar and you might be thinking yeah but he doesn't know that

I'm looking well he might not know immediately but your behavior is going

to give you away it's gonna show him sooner or later how while it influences

your interactions with him both consciously and subconsciously it has an

impact on your mood on your energy and on your spirit or you might unknowingly

mention or craft a question about a particular friend of his that will let

him know that you've been snooping it's not a good practice and it feeds your

insecurities and jealousy here's another example you find yourself checking to

see when he was last line and then you start worrying about

why he hasn't reached out to you or responded to your last communication I

can't begin to tell you how many times people I've heard saying I've seen that

he's been online but he hasn't responded to my attack it becomes a habit and it

can become an obsession to constantly check to see what they are doing or who

they're communicating with you start analyzing and checking to see if you can

understand his relationships based on his history of liking someone's post and

then you start to feel anxious or even jealous that he liked another woman's

post and you start to make assumptions about things that could be completely

untrue and without a doubt it will manifest in your daily communications

and interactions with him and it will have a negative impact on your new

relationship your fear your anxiety your insecurities about something that you

know very little about will come out and he will notice and it will be a huge

turnoff number four you have commitment or

marriage goals too soon I know it's difficult to not think about the future

when you really like someone but at the same time it's important to cool your

jets and let the relationship evolve naturally and not even consider

committing before you're really gotten to know someone so take that goal out of

your mind because when you make something a goal you start planning and

living in the future and then you're constantly measuring your progress

towards that goal that means that you're not really being present when you're

with him everything you do is unconsciously slanted towards

accomplishing your goal and even worse everything he does that makes you

worried about your goal is going to make you upset and ruin the dynamic between

you two so for the first little while just enjoy the time you spend with each

other as much as you can and let whatever will happen between you happen

otherwise you could wind up unconsciously pushing him away without

even realizing it number five you need constant reassurance of his interest

it's normal to want to know how your significant other feels about you

however constantly asking them how they feel for reassurance is a problem if

this is you then you probably ask multiple times are we good are you

attracted to me are you sure you probably also need to have constant

affection from them such as kisses and whole

hands and stuff this happens when you have this perpetual feeling as though

things are on the cusp of falling apart it happens when you are always on the

lookout for the signs that things are going to go wrong and that the

relationship is about to be over if that's happening it's because it's

difficult for you to believe completely that your partner values you and the

relationship so you need reassurance over and over again that yes everything

is fine yes we are good this insecurity and these many accusations that

something's wrong all take their toll and quickly turn from annoyance to

active resentment this can become overbearing for the other person who

will likely lead to the demise of your relationship number six

being irrationally jealous jealousy in the absence of any real threat is not

sexy it's scary and it makes guys feel like you're gonna pull a fatal

attraction on them and besides being scary irrational jealousy shows buried

insecurities and diminishes attraction rapidly men are attracted to women who

have a sense of inner confidence and are generally secure in themselves if you

show signs of jealousy such as freaking out if he wants a boys night out men

pick up on this incredibly quickly and will run away even faster now the most

important part of the video why does this keep happening to you and how can

you turn things around for most people there are two reasons

number one it happens when you start thinking of this new person as the one

or when you start daydreaming and romanticizing a relationship that

doesn't even exist yet and may never exist so instead of being able to be

present and engaged in this moment you're stuck in the future where you're

assuming so much you're daydreaming and fantasizing of all the amazing times

that you will share and that causes you to elevate the importance of this

relationship a great deal and when you put too much into this outcome you

become too invested in a future that you can't control and that causes anxiety

and number two when you really like someone when you really want someone the

stakes are higher the level of importance you attach to that person is

higher and your level of anxiety and fear of losing that person goes way up

and when that happens any insecurities that you may have about

the relationship about dating that person manifests in the interactions

with him and guess what happens he feels it he notices those insecurities and it

lowers your values in his eyes and makes you seem needy or clingy and

even desperate and then before you know it he's running for the hills that's why

you must stop looking to a relationship to reassure you remember feeling secure

comes from inside of you and if you don't feel worthy if you don't know your

value it won't matter how smart sexy worthy or attractive your partner tells

you that you are it won't stick and you'll need more and more reassurance to

temporarily fill you up again that's why you must strive to feel okay within

yourself you need to love yourself and accept who you are then you can be fully

accepting of the love and affection your partner directs towards you again it

comes from within not from looking to your partner at every turn for

reassurance to prove you're okay but as we discussed before practicing self-love

in the context of a new relationship is often easier said than done when we want

another person we often do things that we think will win their affection and in

doing so we often engage in behaviors that are anything but soft loving the

good news is that like any relationship strengthening your relationship with

yourself and practicing self-love is something that you can learn to do so if

you're interested in learning more about practicing self-love click here to watch

this video now and if you found this video helpful please take a moment to

hit that thumbs up button and don't forget to subscribe if you haven't

already thanks for watching I'll see you in the next video

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