Waylander: I just woke up and the butcher is fucking visious. Penguin: I'm gonna do like this. Run out, Holthe. Motherfucker.
Penguin: Well.. I killed him. But I'm totally dead now so you can't revive me.
Waylander: What? You ain't totally dead? Penguin: I am. Holthe: Yes, he is.
Penguin: I don't have any health left.
Holthe: I can't.... Penguin: So. The spread of the big dynamite bundle, is pretty big.
Holthe: Nooooooo. Penguin. Penguin: That was funny!
Waylander: What the hell? I'm gonna banish him. Holthe: Penguin!!!!
Bob: It is true. We don't like you. We love you!
Ranger: That is why, we are right outside your house. Right now!
Bob: Yeah! Waylander: That would be fucking awesome. We would go to the bar!
Usarte: No, it would not be fucking awesome. I just ordered hot dogs.
Bob: "YOU ARE STAYING IN THE HOUSE!"
Waylander: They are going to watch me eat the hot dogs.
Ranger: Why aren't you guys going to the other place?
Waylander: We are waiting on you to get the fucking bounty, cheesedick.
Ranger: Well. Mr. Dickcheese.
Usarte: With the explosions, it's like some terrible movie.
Usarte: Priceless from Penguins perspective.
Waylander: So I get shot cause of his crimes...Oo, I'm following ranger. Look at that ass!
Waylander: Look at it, chat.
Waylander: It's like two hams in those pants. Get back here! Look at him twerking.
Waylander: Are you smuggling Christmas hams over there, Ranger? Ranger: No.
Penguin: He's the Hamburglar.
Waylander: That's what you are from now on. Ranger: Hamburglar? Waylander: Ranger the Hamburglar!
Ranger: Did that just go through the tower?
Penguin: I heard it come and leave.
Waylander: Oh my god. He heard it come.
Ranger: Bomblance. One is inside.
Penguin: I'm having issues.
Ranger: Why did you go inside? Penguin: No, it's not that. I can't see textures so I'm running into walls.
Waylander: Well, I'm on fire.
Waylander: So much for the melee kill. Penguin: You can still get the melee. Just run at him.
Waylander: You guys are such asshats.
Waylander: I try. I try so hard.
Usarte: Barreltrap, nice!
Waylander: Did he die? Penguin: He died, by your barreltrap.
Waylander: Great minds. See, this is why we worry about playing each other.
Waylander: We do the same dumb shit at the same time.
Waylander: One of these days, Penguin. You and I are going to headshot each other at the same time on a map.
Ranger: He sees you!
Penguin: Someone's on the roof?
Ranger: That's me.
Ranger: I see him.
Penguin: I got him. Through the little gap inbetween.
Dela: Do you think they know already where the boss is?
Penguin: No.... Ranger: No idea.
Dela: I'm assuming yes.
Penguin: Let's assume no. It's easier.
Dela: Guys, they are shooting in....Porco Dio.
Dela: They are shooting in lockbay, you ass.
Dela: So every fucking trap I set up.... Penguin: Is there seriously one in every exit, up here?
Dela: Probably was. Not anymore.
Dela: The last one is there. Can you leave it there, please? Penguin: I will.
Dela: Jesus Christ.
Ranger: And don't go into the water, over there. It's concertina trapped. Dela: Yeah.
Dela: Mr. Hankey the Ch..... FUCKING. What the fuck?!
Dela: What did I say? What did I just fucking say? Ranger: Don't go down there!
Dela: You asshole.
Dela: What did I just say? Just leave the last one. "MHM."
Ranger: OH. You just prestiged. Usarte: Yeah.
Penguin: I did not aim for that one.
Usarte: What now?!
Usarte: Got you some special amm....
Usarte: You ass.
Ranger: What are you doing? Usarte: I'm burning. Penguin: Run away!
Ranger: What in the lords name are you doing? Usarte: He just burned me alive!
Ranger: Fuck, If I only had ammo, I would've killed him.
Penguin: I see him.
Penguin: Got him through the wall, bitch. Easy peasy. Ranger: Thank you, mister! Oh, ammo!
Penguin: They are burning my body, btw.
Penguin: Kill his friend with the knife.
Ranger: Are you kidding me? Penguin: What the fuck was that? His friend didn't even notice that you stabbed him.
Ranger: He just kept running.
Dela: Stop right there, criminal scum! You have violated my daughter.
Dela: Jesus Christ.
Ranger: That's not suspicious at all.
Penguin: How are you still alive?
Shrimp: What the fuck?
Ranger: Super dog incoming!
Shrimp: Oh no.
Penguin: Maybe we can peepee on him.
Penguin: Oh shit, he's here!
Penguin: That was awkward as fuck. He was camping in here. (10 minutes)
Usarte: In the building? Penguin: You just got rekt, dude. You just got fucking rekt.
Penguin: Open the door, please. Holthe: Please.
Holthe: Please, open the door.
Holthe: Oh... I can see it.
Penguin: Pepenu. Di novo. Ranger: He revived his teammate, I think.
Penguin: Pepenu. Di novo.
Penguin: Pepenu. Di novo!