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Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Gutfeld: Trump's like a mafia boss? File that under 'duh'

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GREG: I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT

MEANS.

LET'S MOVE ON.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

THANK YOU.

SO, LIKE A 6-POUND FROZEN BLOCK

OF IN-FLIGHT BATHROOM WASTE

JAMES COMEY'S BOOK DROPPED FROM

THE SKY.

[LAUGHTER]

AND WHEN IT DID THE MEDIA COULD

NOT CONTAIN THEIR EXCITEMENT.

>> THE JAMES COMEY BUT ACTUALLY

CAME OUT EARLY.

>> OH, GOOD EVENING, RACHEL.

I WANT TO SEE HOW THE

INVESTIGATION TURNED OUT.

>> BREAKING NEWS, THEY CAN READ.

GREG: NO ONE SAID ME A BOOK AND

EVERYONE ELSE GOT ONE AND IT

MADE THEM FEEL SO FUNNY INSIDE.

>> COMEY WENT FURTHER THAN YOU

WERE EXPECTING EVEN MORE SO THAN

WHEN HE TALKED ABOUT IN THE

BOOK.

>> HE IS NOT FULLY BACK ON

PRESIDENT TRUMP IN ANY WAY,

SHAPE OR FORM.

>> HE TALKED ABOUT HOW THE AUTO

BODY EXPERIENCE AND IT MUST'VE

BEEN AN OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE.

>> THEY KEEP SAYING THAT SIX

KIDS, THIS AIN'T THE BIBLE.

IT'S A FREAKING BOOK OF GOSSIP

BY A BETTER ASKED.

HERE'S ONE REVELATION.

COMEY SAYS COMPROMISE ABOUT

SOMETHING.

>> I THOUGHT OF NEW YORK MAFIA

SOCIAL CLUB.

THE ITALIAN MAFIA CALLED ITSELF

[INAUDIBLE] AND THEY DRAW A LINE

BETWEEN SOMEONE WHO IS A FRIEND

OF YOURS MEANING SOMEONE OUTSIDE

THE FAMILY AND SOMEONE WHO WAS A

FRIEND OF OURS MEANING AN

OFFICIAL MEMBER OF THE FAMILY

AND THE PRESIDENT-ELECT IS

TRYING TO MAKE A SAME THING AND

THAT MADE IT A THING OF OURS SIX

T-SHIRT RACHEL READ THE ENTIRE

BOOK AUDIENCE.

IT WAS LIKE A BEDTIME STORY FOR

COMMUNIST PARTY CAT LADIES.

[LAUGHTER]

BUT TRUMP IS LIKE A MAFIA BOSS

AND FILE THAT UNDER THE.

ANYONE WHO SAW THE DEBATE KNOWS

THAT.

EVERY DAY HE GOT A HIT ON A

BIBLE.

[LAUGHTER]

THE FACT IS HE IS A BILLIONAIRE

REAL ESTATE DEVELOPER IN NEW

YORK CITY.

YOU THINK HE NEVER HAD TO DEAL

WITH ACTUAL MAFIA BOSSES?

WHY DO YOU THINK HE IS THE WAY

HE IS NOW.

HE IS NOW SORRY, WHEN AMERICA

HEARS COMEY WIND THAT TRUMP IS

LIKE A MAFIA BOSS THEY GO, NO

[BLEEP], SHERLOCK.

[LAUGHTER]

THAT IS WHY WE LIKE HIM.

THINK ABOUT IT.

WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE DEALING

WITH THE LIKES OF NORTH KOREA O

WITH THE LIKES OF NORTH KOREA O-

WITH THE LIKES OF NORTH KOREA OS

WITH THE LIKES OF NORTH KOREA OM

WITH THE LIKES OF NORTH KOREA OO

WITH THE LIKES OF NORTH KOREA OE

WITH THE LIKES OF NORTH KOREA OW

WITH THE LIKES OF NORTH KOREA OO

WITH THE LIKES OF NORTH KOREA OR

WITH THE LIKES OF NORTH KOREA OM

WITH THE LIKES OF NORTH KOREA ON

WITH THE LIKES OF NORTH KOREA OS

WITH THE LIKES OF NORTH KOREA OY

WITH THE LIKES OF NORTH KOREA OU

WITH THE LIKES OF NORTH KOREA OO

WITH THE LIKES OF NORTH KOREA OF

THIS OR SOMEONE WHO REMINDS YOU

OF A GRAD SCHOOL PA POETRY TO

HIS CATS.

[LAUGHTER]

NOW, I DON'T KNOW THAT HE DOES

THAT AND OKAY IF I WERE TRUMP

AND ASKED ABOUT BEING CALLED A

MOB BOSS I MIGHT SAY I'M DEEPLY

FLATTERED AND THEN I WOULD HAND

OUT RED HAT THAT'S A MAFIA

INSTEAD OF [INAUDIBLE] AND WE

HAD THAT MADE.

TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS IF YOU

WANTED BOTTOM LINE, IT COMES

DOWN TO ONE THAT.

THERE'S A CERTAIN KIND OF PERSON

DESIGNED TO BE PRESIDENT FROM

THE GET-GO AND THEY LOOK LIKE

THIS OR THIS OR THIS.

TRUMP IS NOT THEM AND HE IS

TRUMP.

SOMEONE UNACCUSTOMED TO THE

PURITY TEST ALL POLITICIANS CAN

FAKE WHICH IS WHY THE PUBLIC

DOESN'T CARE AND THEY KNOW WHAT

HE IS.

HE MAY BE A MAFIA BOSS BUT HE IS

OUR MAFIA BOSS.

[LAUGHTER]

THEY ARE APPLAUDING FOR THE

MAFIA.

THEY ARE APPLAUDING FOR THE

MAFIA.

WHILE THE MEDIA SPEWS CRAP HOW

DOES AMERICA FEEL ABOUT IT?

ALL OF THIS IS ABOUT BEHAVIOR

PRIOR TO ELECTION DESIGNED TO

UNSEAT A PRESIDENT BASED ON A

EMOTIONAL INJURY THAT OCCURRED

ON NOVEMBER 8, 2016.

WHAT UNITES ANTI- TROOPERS IS

PTSD, PRESIDENT TRUMP STRESS

DISORDER.

[LAUGHTER]

THE MEDIA SAYS TRUMP IS USING

POOR POLICY TO DISTRACT FROM

SCANDAL BUT IT'S THE OPPOSITE.

THE SCANDALS ARE DESIGNED TO

KEEP HIM FROM DOING HIS JOB AND

THAT IS HOW AMERICA

THAT IS HOW I SEE IT.

AND I AM AMERICA.

[LAUGHTER]

YES, I AM.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

I'M KIND OF SHAPE LIKE AMERICA

AND AMERICA WANTED TO KEEP DOING

HIS JOB BECAUSE SO FAR HE'S DONE

WITH CHINA, ISIS, TAXES AND WHAT

A STORY BUT THAT WOULD BE.

FIRST, AN OUTSIDER IS ELECTED TO

DISRUPT THE SYSTEM.

SECOND, HE ACTUALLY DISRUPT THE

SYSTEM, THIRD, THE MEDIA AND

THEIR DEMOCRATIC ENABLERS

WITHOUT FOR THE USE EVERYTHING

IN THEIR POWER TO REMOVE HIM.

NOW THEY SUCCEED THEY WILL

REMOVE ONE OF THE MOST RADICAL

POLITICAL FIGURES IN RECENT

MEMORY USING BEHAVIOR THAT WAS

PRIOR TO THE ELECTION.

ANTI- TRUMP, HAVE YOU THOUGHT

THIS THROUGH?

IF YOU'RE NOT CAREFUL YOU WILL

TURN TRUMP INTO A MASSIVE FOLK

HERO AND 70 MILLION PEOPLE WILL

BE AT YOUR DOORSTEP AND IT WILL

BE TO SEEING YOU GOT A FRIEND.

[LAUGHTER]

LET'S WELCOME TONIGHT'S GUESTS.

MY FAVORITE BUTCHER, SHE CUT

THROUGH THE BOLOGNA.

I ALMOST SAID SOMETHING ELSE.

JEDEDIAH.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

LIKE A WELL OILED STOPPING CART

HE WILL HAVE YOU ROLLING IN THE

AISLES, ACTOR, COMEDIAN JAMIE.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

SHE'S GOT MORE BAGGAGE THAN A

SAMSONITE SALESMAN.

KAT SIMS.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

AND HE HATES CEILING FANS.

MY MASSIVE SIDEKICK TYRUS.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

JEDEDIAH, A LOT HAPPEN THIS WEEK

AND CALL ME, COMEY, COMEY.

WHAT YOU MAKE OF THIS CONTRACT.

>> THE BOOK SOUNDS TERRIBLE.

I DIDN'T GET IT COPIED EITHER

BUT EVERY EXCERPT I READ MADE

HIM LESS AND LESS LIKABLE AS A

PERSON AND THIS GUY -- I MEAN,

HE STOOPED TO THE LOWEST LEVEL.

HE'S TALKING ABOUT TRUMP THAI

AND HIS UNDER EYE CIRCLES LIKE

IS IN A TANNING BED AND IT'S ANY

SHRED OF CREDIBILITY THAT THIS

GUY HAD, WHICH I DON'T KNOW HOW

HE COULD HAVE ANY AFTER NOT

INDICTING HILLARY CLINTON

FRANKLY, BUT ANY SHED THAT

REMAINS HAS BEEN LOST FROM THE

EXCERPT THAT I READ AND, YOU

KNOW, THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE IN

THIS WORLD THAT WANT TO BE IN

FRONT AND CENTER OF THE CAMERA

ALL THE TIME AND THIS GUY IS ONE

OF THEM.

ANY OPPORTUNITY LIKE SOMEONE HAD

HIM A SHOW BECAUSE HE'S BEGGING

FOR IT.

THAT IS WHAT HE WANTS.

GREG: WHAT, TYRUS?

TYRUS: YOU BETTER NOT.

I WARNED YOU ABOUT HILLARY ON

SUNDAY AND IF KOBE GETS ONE I'M

DONE.

I'M OUT.

GREG: HERE'S MY SUNDAY LINEUP.

YOU GOT HILLARY AT 8:00 O'CLOCK

BECAUSE THAT PROVIDES FODDER FOR

"FOX AND FRIENDS" THE NEXT DAY

FOLLOWED BY COMEY AND IT'S

CALLED THE COMEY CONFESSIONAL.

[LAUGHTER]

SORRY, TYRUS.

JAMIE,

JAMIE --

>> WHAT ABOUT THE FREDA FILES?

BECAUSE OF THE THINGS BEFORE --

A GODFATHER, I BELIEVE IT WAS.

GREG: WHAT YOU MAKE OF HIS

RESPONSE?

>> I HONESTLY THOUGHT HE MAY BE

OVERREACTED.

WHY EVEN RESPOND TO --

>> THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

>> YOU'RE WELCOME.

IT IS A TELL-ALL BOOK AND REALLY

DO PEOPLE DO WHAT TELLS BOOK.

IT'S ALL OF IT AND I THOUGHT THE

THING ABOUT I THOUGHT TRUMP

SHOULD HAVE LET IT ROLL OFF THE

SHOULDERS ESPECIALLY THE THING

ABOUT THE STORY THAT WAS IN

THERE RUSSIA AND THE PROSTITUTES

AND I THOUGHT SHOULD MAKE AN

EXCUSE AND SAID IT'S NOT WHAT

EVERYONE THANKS AND I JUST DON'T

SPEAK FLUENT RUSSIAN AND THEY

COMPLETELY MISUNDERSTAND ME.

I WALKED IN IT WAS LIKE WHAT ARE

YOU GUYS DOING AND I SAID

THERE'S A LEAK IN THE STATE.

[LAUGHTER]

GREG: THAT WOULD WORK.

>> I SAID WE SHOULD GET THREE

HOT PLUMBERS NOT THREE HOT

PROSTITUTES.

[LAUGHTER]

THAT'S MY IDEA.

GREG: THAT IS VERY GOOD.

CAT, WHAT YOU MAKE OF THIS BOOK

SEVEN THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH

READING POETRY TO YOUR CAT, GREG

READING POETRY TO YOUR CAT, GRE

GREG, FIRST OF ALL.

GREG: THAT'S WHAT YOU GOT FROM

THIS P7 THAT'S WHAT I GOT FROM

YOUR MONOLOGUE.

GREG: THAT WAS DIRECTED TO

INSULT YOU SEVEN I THOUGHT SO.

I AGREE WITH JEDEDIAH.

SHE MADE COMMENTS ABOUT THE TINY

HANDS AND ARE BE DONE WITH A

TINY HANDS YET THAT'S LIKE THE

BIGGEST HACK JOKE IN THE WORLD

AND I'M SURPRISED THAT THE NEXT

SENTENCE WASN'T WHY DIDN'T THE

CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD THAT'S

HOW HACKETT WAS.

YOU'RE NOT REGINA GEORGE AND YOU

ARE A FORMER FBI DIRECTOR AND

YOU CAN ACT LIKE A GROWN-UP.

HE WANTS TO BE REGINA GEORGE.

GREG: WAS REGINA GEORGE?

SEVEN MEAN GIRL.

GREG: I WAS NOT INTENDING I KNEW

WHO WAS.

>> I WAS AFRAID THE CAMERA WAS

ON ME TO.

>> IT IS.

GREG: TYRUS, WHAT YOU MAKE OF

THE WHOLE -- WHAT IS WRONG WITH

HAVING A MAFIA BOSS IS THE

PRESIDENT?

TYRUS: WELL, AS LONG AS HIS NAME

IS ALFREDO IT'S NOT TOO BAD.

HERE'S THE THING, OBVIOUSLY FROM

THE DAY THEY MET TRUMP AND COMEY

DID NOT LIKE EACH OTHER.

IT'S NOT A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN

AND HE FELT HE WAS FIRED BY

SOMEONE WHO WAS INFERIOR TO HIM

SO THAT THE ANGER COMES FROM.

I AM WILLING TO SUGGEST THAT IF

WE GOT OUR HANDS ON THE BOOK

THAT WASN'T CUT AND PASTED BY

THE LIBERAL MEDIA THAT MIGHT BE

A BETTER READ.

I THINK THEY'RE DOING A

DISSERVICE AND I HAVE NOT SEEN

THE BOOK BUT THEY ARE TAKING

PIECES OUT AND FORMING A

DIFFERENT THING.

I THINK THEY'RE MAKING HIM AND I

THINK THAT DOING A HORRIBLE THE

SERVICE TO COMEY BECAUSE YOU

HAVE NOT READ THE BOOK AND I'M

NOT SAYING HE'S OBVIOUSLY

BETTER.

LISTEN, IF I GOT FIRED BY A GUY

SMALLER THAN ME THAT I COULD

BEAT UP I MIGHT, I MIGHT, I

MIGHT WHEN MY BOOK COMES OUT SAY

SOME TERRIBLE THINGS ABOUT HIS

ANIMAL CHOICES THAT AREN'T REAL.

[LAUGHTER]

ARE THAT HEAP BUT SCHOOLS AROUND

THE OFFICE THAT I TRIP OVER AND

I MIGHT HAVE ISSUES WITH SOME

THINGS THAT I GET IN UNDERSTAND

THAT WE'VE ALL BEEN FIRED AND

The Description of Gutfeld: Trump's like a mafia boss? File that under 'duh'