Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Kimmel vs Cruz - Blobfish Basketball Classic

Difficulty: 0

- After two weeks of talking

I was in Houston to play Texas Senator

Ted Cruz in what we call the Blobfish Basketball Classic.

And just like a blobfish, the game was ugly, sloppy,

and within moments, we were gasping for air.

We played one-on-one.

It took almost an hour to get to 6

points, which would be a lot if this

was a World Cup soccer game.

But it was not.

When we agreed to play to 11, I didn't

realize that meant 11 o'clock.

We edited this, because it went on forever.

You won't be able to tell.

The game was very rough.

There were nothing but fouls the whole game long.

I have bruises all over my body.

He kept poking me with his hooves.

The game went on so long, by the time it was over,

Jay-z and Beyonce had written and produced

an entire new album.

It's been a dream of mine ever since I was a little boy

to play basketball one day against the least popular

member of the US Senate.

And that dream finally came through this weekend.

Here it is-- my on-court interview with Ted Cruz, a.k.a.

the Blobfish Basketball Classic.

GUS JOHNSON: Welcome to the Blobfish Basketball Classic.

Over 6,000 fans in attendance for this game

between Senator Ted Cruz and talk show host Jimmy Kimmel.

Hi, everybody.

I'm Gus Johnson, along with the legend, Isiah Thomas,

one of the 50 greatest players of all time.

And welcome to Texas Southern University.

Let's go to Guillermo in the locker room.

When in the time of your life you

start looking like a blobfish?

I got to say, you and Jimmy are a little bit

obsessed with this fish thing.

I don't know why fish are on your brain so much.

But knock yourself out.


Thank you very much.


From the great state of Texas by way of Canada, at 5 feet 11,

245 pounds, the senator formerly known as Rafael, Ted Cruz.

[music playing]

And now, his challenger.

From Las Vegas, Nevada, the entertainment capital

of the world, at 6 feet 1, 185 pounds,

accompanied by his coach, Rockets Hall-of-Famer Ralph

Sampson, it's Jimmy Kimmel.


It's the final countdown.

It's the final countdown.

MATT THOMAS: And now, ladies and gentlemen,

our referee Bob Delaney.

The Blobfish Basketball Classic rules--

the game goes to 15 points.

And you must win by 2 points.

No shot clock, no time outs.

The loser will donate $5,000 to the winner's charity.


Ted is playing for Generation One.

And they're still not rooting for him.

Jimmy is playing for Texas Children's Hospital.

Senator, we're going to allow you to make the coin toss call.

Hold on.

Let me have a look at that coin.

It's got a head and a tail, just like you, Senator.

There you go.

Call it.


Heads is the call.

Heads it is.

It's heads.

Isiah, how does this match-up break down for you?

I'm calling Kimmel to win this game.

Did you spend more time this week

practicing basketball than trying to get those kids out

of that detention center?


It seems like it.

ISIAH THOMAS: I think he's going to wear the senator down

with his stamina.

GUS JOHNSON: Oh, off the glass and in!

Ted throws off the dribble.

ISIAH THOMAS: Well, you know, he's strong going right.

Here's Kimmel the other way.

Kimmel gets his own rebound at the basket, using his body,

trying to be physical.


Fouled hard by Cruz.

That's a bad boy foul right there.

Let's watch that again in slow motion.

Ted Cruz saying, no fouls in this game.

So he wants to be physical with Jimmy Kimmel.

I'm going to make a rule change.

Whenever you have a change of possession,

just bring it past this free-throw line.

The ref is having mercy on us right now.

You see, this is a good lesson for you

and those kids in that detention center.


TED CRUZ: What about all the kids Obama detained?

Yeah, if there were any, you should have

done something about that too.

GUS JOHNSON: Unfortunately, all that talk can't

get Jimmy Kimmel a bucket.

He needs a bucket.

Still can't get one to fall.


Cruz knocks one down--

a mid-range jump shot.

So Cruz goes up 2-0.

Now Kimmel all day.

And [inaudible].

With his first shot, Jimmy Kimmel is on the board.

ISIAH THOMAS: He finds the rim first.

Oh, Cruz has it right back though, baby.

GUS JOHNSON: War of attrition.

Jimmy Kimmel-- and banks it in.

He's down by 1.

Here we go.

Both players getting loose.

We should have played until 11.


We should have played to 4.

GUS JOHNSON: Senator Cruz driving.

ISIAH THOMAS: Ted Cruz, he's got the sneaky

under-hand right-hand lay-up.

GUS JOHNSON: Sneaky under-hand lay-up.

Let's take a break.

Want to take a break?

We're going to take a time-out.

[buzzer sounds]

I hope you don't have an early flight to catch.

[cheering and applause]


Jimmy's ball.


GUS JOHNSON: Right off the back.

And that's what a time-out will do for you.

GUS JOHNSON: Yeah, a little energy.

How about you?

Did you vote for Hilary or Bernie?

I voted for Hillary.

How'd that work out?


Can I be honest?

You're right, it worked out terribly.

I mean, nothing has ever worked out worse than that worked out.

But I'm glad to see you've forgiven Donald

Trump for all the horrible things he said

about your family, your father.

I commend Ted on putting business first and his balls

on a shelf somewhere.

[cheering and applause]

Speaking of balls, Jimmy, you're a professional comedian.

In eight years, did you ever tell a joke about Obama?

Yes, lots of them.

I even roasted him to his face at the Correspondents Dinner.

I'll tell you this--

Hollywood would do better if they actually listened

to the millions of Americans who were

unhappy with the direction this country was going under Obama.

[crowd booing]

Just so you know, they're not booing.

They're saying, Cru-- oh, no, they're booing actually.

They're booing. Here we go.

Let's play basketball.

GUS JOHNSON: Drive to the left, up, no good.

Gets his own rebound and hits.

Senator Ted Cruz--

3 points away from halftime.

They'll go to 8.

They're playing until 15.

You have to win by 2.

TED CRUZ: I'll tell you what, Jimmy.

Hold on.

I'll give you that shot right there.

If you miss it, NBC has to put "Roseanne" back on air.

GUS JOHNSON: High-arcer off the glass and in for Kimmel.

ISIAH THOMAS: I think Kimmel has found his spot.

And we're level at 5.

TED CRUZ: You and I are both in trouble.

GUS JOHNSON: 5-5, our score.



I'm out of it.

You want to shorten it to 11?


All right, done.

Ted and I have made a compromise.

In the spirit of bipartisanship and life--

And life.

We're going to shorten the game to 11.

[cheering and applause]

And the crowd goes wild.

So halftime will be at 6.

JIMMY KIMMEL: Halftime will be at 6.

One more basket, we go to halftime.

Tied at 5.

JIMMY KIMMEL: Who's harder to defend-- me or Trump?

ISIAH THOMAS: He finally got the hook shot to fall, Gus.

He finally got it to fall.

All right, so Jimmy Kimmel's started to get warm.

He was down early.

But he started hitting that jump shot.

ISIAH THOMAS: I'm just appalled that the way

that they showed up at this game,

just totally out of shape.

MATT THOMAS: Welcome to the second half of the Blobfish

Basketball Classic.

GUS JOHNSON: All right, so here we go.

Jimmy Kimmel gets the ball to start the second half.

This game now will go to 11.

You have to win by 2.

ISIAH THOMAS: It's going to be a long time

before we get to 11, folks.

GUS JOHNSON: There's a long jump shot.

Off the front rim.

Here's Cruz getting to the hole.

He lays it in.

JIMMY KIMMEL: What's going on here?

Did you learn this grabbiness from Trump?

Have you ever talked politics on the court during the game?

Every 30 seconds.

Listen, I appreciate it.

But if you keep touching me like this,

nobody is going to make you a wedding cake.

You know what I'm saying?

Kimmel said trash-talking is going to be part of this game,


He said he was going to try to talk him out of this game.


And Cruz.

ISIAH THOMAS: He could have gone right.

You go right, I go right.

Because I know we both need a breather,

let me ask you a question.

This is a serious question.

Why, when most of the Republicans in the Senate

support coverage for preexisting conditions, don't you?


Jimmy, listen.

The facts matter.

Everyone agrees there will and should be coverage

for preexisting conditions.

The difference is when Obamacare did,

millions of people had their health insurance cancelled

and premiums have skyrocketed.

Let me ask you-- you brought a lot of Democrats here.

Let me ask you, how many of your premiums went up versus down?

Almost everyone's premiums went up.

And so people who are hurting can't afford health insurance.

Look, everyone's going to have emergency coverage.

Everyone agrees that those with preexisting conditions

will get covered.

The question is--

But you don't.

Do you do it through high-risk pool and jack everyone

else's rates, or do you let everyone

here their rates go down?

And you know, Jimmy, millions of people

would have been angry at Obamacare

if it hadn't made the average family

premiums go up $5,000 a year.

Yeah, but that's just not true.

It is true. Those are facts, Jimmy.

Facts matter.

Facts don't matter to your president, by the way.

Well, they don't matter on late night comedy either.

It's called comedy.

It's not the White House.

But we need to give people lower premiums.

What's the score?


All right, we're tied at 7.

I figured this is the closest we're going to get

to a town hall, so, you know.

[cheering and applause]


And he makes it in straight away.

And up and in!

Sealed the victory for the senator.

And I don't think Jimmy Kimmel has any gas remaining.


MATT THOMAS: Jimmy Kimmel!

GUS JOHNSON: Wow, just classic on the line.

And scores!

ISIAH THOMAS: There's no quitting that Jimmy Kimmel.

There's no quitting that Jimmy Kimmel, baby.

GUS JOHNSON: And the 9.


I smell a comeback.

GUS JOHNSON: So here we go.

This game goes to 11.

Cruz gets the rebound--

blocked by Jimmy.

Gets it back, throws it, and he lands it!

Thank goodness this is over!

MATT THOMAS: Senator Cruz wins the game.

And the votes are in.

And the MVP of the Blobfish Basketball Classic

is Jimmy Kimmel.

[cheering and applause]

I don't know how it happened.

But I somehow won MVP.

CROWD: Jimmy! Jimmy!



We raised $14,111, a minimum for Generation One.

We raised $25,204 for Texas Children's Hospital.

TED CRUZ: All right, Jimmy.

Thank you very much.

JIMMY KIMMEL: I want to donate $10,000 to Generation One

and $10,000 to the Texas Children's Hospital.

I'm going to match you and give ten grand

to both charities as well.

You're a good sport.

I still think you're a terrible senator.

Thanks for the game.

Kids, you got to see your daddy win something.

From Houston, Texas, this is Gus Johnson saying so long.

Not the way I was hoping it would go.

But we raised more than $80,000 for Generation One

and Texas Children's Hospital.

And if you don't like Ted Cruz, you don't have

to play basketball against him.

You can vote against him.

As for me, I make one promise.

I will never ever play basketball again.

The Description of Kimmel vs Cruz - Blobfish Basketball Classic