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Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Weird 99 Cent Store Easter Haul

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- ( rooster crows ) - ( animal roars )

Whew!

Welcome to Good Mythical More!

- 10-word story! - Ooh, a new one.

- I... - once...

- had... - a...

- big... - suitcase...

- full... - of...

- other... - Mama...

suitcases.

Then--

That's 10 words, I believe.

Yeah.

I mean, we just told the greatest story of all time.

You know-- you finish it.

You finish it in the comments below.

I once had a suitcases full of other mama's suitcases.

- Is that what it was? - Yep.

- Okay-- - I once had a suitcase full of other mama suitcases!

Wow! You were actually counting.

Well, Chase was giving me signals in the back.

Speaking of that, Chaster Bunny,

why don't you come and bring in our 99-cent haul.

Finish that story in the comments below.

Man, here--

We went to the 99-cent store, y'all.

- We got a haul. - Do the 99!

Do the 99!

Even though our stuff is not just priced at 99.

I've said it before, I'll say it again right now.

I'm so offended every time I see 99 cents only

and know that they no longer hold to their mission

because there's stuff in there that's not only 99 cents.

- Now before we open this-- - Have the courage

to take "only" out of the name.

The reason why you're able--

You're-- why are you so good at guzzling?

Is it that your throat--

Big throat McLaughlin, man.

Small mouth, big throat.

- You're like a bass. - I'm like a backwards cornucopia.

Anatomically like a backwards cornucopia.

If it makes its way through it's like entering--

- It's like a whale. - Yeah.

- It's just so hollow in there. - Exactly, right.

Yeah.

I do the same thing with-- what do they eat?

What do they eat-- the little things they eat?

- Krill. Krill. - Krill.

- Yeah, I eat-- - Yeah.

There's stuff smaller than that.

What's the smaller stuff they eat than that?

- Brine. - Plankton.

- Plankton! - Brine is just salty water.

- They eat a lot of that, too. - I eat plankton.

You should see my insides.

I have just a normal cornucopia digestive system.

I think it's just--

honestly, it's like there are some things

that you're able to get down more easily than I can

and then there are some things that I can get down more easily than you.

- And we all have-- - You did it to me!

You can't say that I don't have what it takes

and you're the one over there making me

make the intricate connection with baby chickens.

That's called entertainment, man.

- I do have what-- - And I like a sunny-side up egg

and you hate a runny egg.

Do I have what it takes?

You have what it takes to not get eggs down.

You know what? I have what it takes.

I don't need you to give it to me, that's the thing.

- We all have within us what it takes. - That's right.

No one can give you what it takes.

- That's true. - But you do have it.

That's a lie that you learn as a child.

So-- all right, so, first off the bat.

- Bye, Chaster Bunny. - Bye.

- Right off the bat. - Oh, look at that.

- I get a hat. - You get a hat.

I get a hat!

Big throat gets a hat and little throat gets a hat.

And then-- I'm not picking this stuff out in any order.

- We're keeping the tags on. - Yeah. We don't know.

- We don't know - So we can prove the value when we eBay all this.

where this is going. We just know it's gonna be good.

Look at that.

It's a-- it's a purple Peep

- in a basket. - Oh!

- That's cute. - That's just something

for grandma's knickknack shelf.

Oh, speaking of which...

- Look at this, Rhett. - Ooh, another knickknack.

A glass bunny!

- Oh, what is he holding? - Whoa!

What does he hold?

He's holding an egg.

That's like a clear Chaster Bunny.

Look at this. It's 2.4 inches tall.

You know the weird thing...

- Says it right there. - ...with doing this every year

is that I start to believe that bunnies lay eggs.

It happens every year.

By the end of the segment I'm a believer.

I betcha they can get a bunny to lay an egg.

They can do all kinds of things with CRISPR now.

- Alligators lay eggs. What's the difference? - Yeah.

Yeah, well, one's a reptile and one's a mammal, but--

What about a platypus?

The great curveball from nature.

Yep, Deep Throat with the curveball.

- That's the difference, that's not you. - It's like a man

who's got a cornucopia inside of him.

What is it? Oh, look at this, Rhett!

Candy powder-filled plastic carrots.

There's no choking hazard involved in this.

Break those open.

It's only 99 cents?

Of course, we don't know.

It could be $1.99, you jerks!

Gotta wait until you get to the register.

You gonna snort it?

I just wanted to get an idea of how much is in there.

About that much.

Just put it on your tongue.

- Last time-- - Oh, gosh!

Last time we did a haul, we took a pregnancy test.

- Take some. - It's good, man.

Here's a little bit.

Just a tad.

Ooh, daddy!

- That's good, isn't it? - That is good.

Probably good for you, too.

Oh, Rhett, this is gonna make your day.

Glitter carrot pick. What?

Glitter carrot pick.

Is this a toothpick?

- Is that-- - It's a huge, freakin' toothpick.

Is that-- is it edible?

It's a-- it's a carrot pick.

Nope, not edible.

What does this mean?

- Glitter carrot pick. - Is it a toothpick?

I mean it says it right there.

I think you--

I think it's-- You plant carrots outside

- Glitter carrot pick. - and you mark where the carrots have been planted.

Until the real carrots come and replace it

and then you just put 'em back-- and put 'em back inside

and wait until next carrot season.

Ooh, and look at this! You can--

- Oh, Rhett. - Oh, now that's how eggs actually happen.

I want you to have that.

Momentum Brands imported this.

Oh, yeah, and look at this one.

It's like it's a repurposed Christmas ornament.

How many inches tall you think that is, Link?

- How many inches tall? - Yeah.

Oh, we're getting into some real fun now.

Yeah, yeah.

- 'Cause it's on-- It says it on there. - Okay.

I want you to guess.

I would say that's 11 inches.

Huh. It's 13.

Lower the bar to exceed expectations.

That's what I always say.

And-- Ooh, we got--

Oh, there's a wind-up toy.

I had a child once who collected wind-up toys.

Link, how tall do you think this guy is?

'Cause it's also on there.

Now, listen, I take back everything I ever said about the 99 cents only store

because they put how tall things are on everything, and then you got a game.

That's worth all the extra money in the world.

How tall you think that is?

- I know exactly. - Four and a half inches.

5.24 inches.

And, finally...

Happy Easter, Rhett!

I want you to have this.

Yep, you've guessed it!

A foam egg.

Is there something inside of it?

- Let's find out. - Nope.

Probably need Chase to come in and break it apart.

Chase, can you help? Can you lend a hand?

What it-- wait.

You're taking off your costume already?

- Chase: I was hot, I was hot. - "I was hot."

It's not a costume. What are you, crazy?

Taking off your skin. Put your skin back on.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Can you break that in half?

Uh, don't.

That was-- that was a mistake.

( spits )

You're gonna have glitter coming out your rear for days.

Yeah, that egg's gonna be nice and sparkly.

Chase, you can give up if you need to.

What are you doing? Just break it open, man.

Hey, how tall is that egg?

I'd say--

You can't do it, can ya?

- I don't think I can do it. - Do you have what it takes?

I have what it takes to do other things.

That's right! Exactly! Join the club, man!

If one of you can tell me how tall that egg is

down to the 100th of an inch,

I will get completely naked right now.

- You both have a guess. - I don't wanna guess.

- 100 inches. - I'm--

I'm not talking about-- I'm talking about the egg.

100 inches.

Yeah, 200 inches.

I don't want you to get naked.

Oh. Oh, I see where this is going.

5.11, that's all you had to say.

5.11 inches, everybody!

Happy Easter!

The Description of Weird 99 Cent Store Easter Haul