Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Legally Blondes

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IZZY: Come on, Annie. Don't be such a slowcoach.

ANNIE: I'm going as fast as I can.

IZZY: Excuse me. So sorry.

Excuse us.

Slow down, Izzy.

We're shopping, not playing a rugby match.

There's less bruising in rugby, Annie.

We're talking summer clearance.

Things can get a bit brutal.

I reckon it's worth it.

Imagine, summer clothes all year round.

No more jumpers and wellies for us.

And I've heard that in LA, we'll only need these to block out the sun.

The sun?

Living in this country, you wouldn't know there was a sun.

(BOTH GIGGLE)

BOTH: (GASPING) Sale!

Blast! Some twit put this on the wrong rail.

It's not half-price.

Blonde rule number one. Pink looks good with anything.

Blonde rule number two.

BOTH: Never pay retail.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Flip.

And wave.

Excuse me.

Yes?

Nigel.

Such a regal name.

But this garment seems to be hung incorrectly.

It was on the half-price rail.

Oh.

I do hope we can make right what is clearly an injustice.

(GIGGLING)

Brilliant! You're a natural barrister, Izzy.

Even I almost bought your argument.

I don't argue, Annie. I persuade.

MR. WOODS: Have you lovelies finished packing?

IZZY: Almost!

Annie, I can't believe we're leaving for cousin Elle's tomorrow.

There. Everything color-coded.

Me, too. This box is labeled...

Pink.

I miss Mum, Izzy.

I can't believe it's been two years since we lost her.

I miss Mum, too, Annie.

I wonder how we'll get on in California.

Things have been so gray in this flat since Mum died.

I hope the sunny climate will help Dad move on.

And up. He'll be running the entire LAU English Department in no time.

Talking behind my back, are we?

No, we're just excited for the move.

Look, I know this move isn't easy.

And I appreciate your support.

It'll be fun. We'll see movie stars,

drink those mocha-latte-ccinos,

and get authentic Beverly Hills nose jobs.

What?

Just joking, Dad.

I'm partial to the English nose I have, thank you very much.

Me, too. On both of you.

And have no fear.

The Woods team will fit in the LA lifestyle like fish fit with chips.

(THIS IS ME PLAYING)

This is my life

I'm on my own

Don't need anyone To guide me down the road

I'm finding out who Yeah, who I wanna be

This is me

This is my life I'm in control

Moving so fast To where I wanna go

I'm shouting out Who, yeah, who do you see?

MR. WOODS: Wow, look at that!

IZZY: These are houses?

Are you sure this is the way to Elle's house?

(CAR HORNS HONKING)

MR. WOODS: Those Yanks love their horns, don't they?

Anyway, girls, I start teaching tomorrow at university

just a mile from Elle's Hollywood Hills mansion.

ANNIE: Wow, Izzy, Beverly Hills

sure is different from back home.

Look at these cars.

Speaking of cars, tell us again

why we shipped in our Mini from across the pond?

What? She's a peach.

(CAR HORN HONKING)

(GIRLS SCREAMING)

ANNIE: Wrong side of the road, Dad! Wrong side of the road!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

All right.

I'll have to try to remember that.

(SIGHS)

MR. WOODS: Here we are, girls!

It's a palace.

Welcome to your new home, girls.

(GIRLS GASPING)

(SQUEALING)

My, this place is awfully pink.

So, it is quite a step up from the old, musty flat back home, eh?

This is a step up from Buckingham Palace.

Best of all, it doesn't cost a penny.

Cousin Elle spends most of her time back in DC, lobbying.

So she's let us, for now, squat here. Take it over.

It's like a dream.

Oh, I suppose I can get used to it.

Do you think you could get used to this?

(GIRLS GASPING)

Elle has quite the view, eh?

IZZY: Can it get any better?

(DOG BARKING)

That sounds like Bruiser.

(BARKING CONTINUES)

(GASPING)

IZZY: Bruiser! Times two.

They're so sweet.

Hello, pretty boys. Hey.

Oh, look. From cousin Elle.

"Dear Isabelle and Annabelle,

"sorry I couldn't be there to greet you,

"but Bruiser's little nephews, Spike and Butch,

"will welcome you with open paws.

"Always blonde, cousin Elle."

Oh, how thoughtful.

Well, I'm sorry, girls, but under no circumstances

are either of you to even consider

returning those dogs.

(ALL CHUCKLE)

We'll walk with the dogs and explore our new hood.

Hood?

And we'll shop for our first-day-of-school ensembles.

Girls, there's something I've been meaning to tell you.

BOTH: It's amazing here, Dad. Love you.

Love you. Bye.

(POP MUSIC PLAYING)

Oh-oh, oh-oh, one, two, three

Annie, look at all these stores!

It's fashion paradise.

It's so different from Kentfield.

That dress is perfect.

Rockin' to my own beat Never stuck on repeat

I'm singing my own song

Beverly Hills isn't very hilly.

(SIGHS) But the sun is sunnier.

The hunks are hunkier.

And the junk food's organic.

(GASPS) Oh, my God, it's Karen!

Who?

The Karen Glass Studio.

I've read about it in the finest couture magazines.

The holy grail of high-end runway apparel.

And now it stands before us, beckoning.

Posh practically summers inside that shop.

Last time I checked, Becksy's shopping budget

was north of ours by about 40 zeroes.

A salesperson's a salesperson, Izzy.

Do what you do best. Persuade.

IZZY: Therefore, Evette...

Such a dynamic name.

...even though the stitching is subpar,

the color is off by at least one shade

from the designer's runway prototype,

I'm still willing to negotiate a reasonable price

on behalf of my sister that would benefit both parties.

I can see you're a very reasonable person.

(CHUCKLING)

You'll have to forgive me, ladies.

We get an awful lot of television celebrities in this store.

BOTH: Oh, oh, we're not...

Oh, no, no. Oh, wait.

Yes, yes, of course.

You're the Riffraff Twins.

Loved the show.

We always say that the world can certainly use a little more riffraff,

but I'm afraid in this store, sadly, you're canceled.

(GASPING)

Come back when you can pay full price like big people.

Well, that went swimmingly.

Like the Titanic.

Evette just did us a favor.

I mean, she's just telling us we can do better.

We're in the greatest fashion shopping postal code in the world.

Somewhere on these hallowed streets

is a school wardrobe that's gonna make the world

stand up and say...

BOTH: Crap!

MR. WOODS: I'm sorry, loves.

You never gave me a chance to tell you. Pac Prep requires uniforms.

This is as scratchy as tweed.

A sack of potatoes has more panache!

And not a thread of pink. It's criminal.

Downright oppressive.

What sort of school are you sending us to?

(HORSES NEIGHING)

IZZY: LA? More like we landed in Oz.

MR. WOODS: This is one of the best schools in the States.

And now, of course, it's an even better school

because you two are attending.

ANNIE: (SCOFFING) Forget it, Dad.

These posh kids look like they just came off an assembly line.

MR. WOODS: Come on, girls, I'm trying hard here.

Let's see some smiles.

BOTH: Anything for you, Dad.

All right. Here we are.

Okay, lovelies. Stiff upper lips.

And let's see some cheery faces, eh?

Give us a kiss. Oh, thank you.

Now, just remember, be your loveable, adorable selves,

and I promise you that, by my watch,

you'll have met your first friend in three, two...

HIGGINS: I'm not here to be your friend.

I'm only here to educate you.

Welcome, ladies, to Pacific Preparatory.

I'm Headmistress Higgins.

I see here that, from past performance,

as well as your father's somewhat limited financial resources,

you've both been admitted on scholarship.

Partial scholarship,

ma'am.

Congratulations, I'm sure.

Here at Pacific Prep, we hold our students to a higher standard,

as well as a strict code of honor.

And such being the case, I will need you to sign these.

Oh, I'm not a barrister.

Yet.

But I'd rather not sign something I can't read.

HIGGINS: Then let me give you the gist of the agreement.

The document merely enumerates the myriad ways

in which students might be tempted to plagiarize,

lie, cheat, and/or steal.

Failure to avoid these temptations results in expulsion.

But how do we know what to avoid

if we can't read the fine print?

The Pacific Preparatory handbook.

Read it, learn it, love it,

and we'll get along just fine.

Now, your signatures, please.

Christopher Lopez!

(EXCLAIMS)

Yes, ma'am?

Please print out the ladies' schedules and show them to their first class.

I'd love to show them around. Come on.

Ms. Chang!

Keep an eye on those two.

The Woods twins? Why, they seem lovely.

They possess the same perky DNA as Elle Woods.

Elle Woods made a mockery of these hallowed halls with her

Fashion Arts elective.

Which you got rid of two years ago.

And her Tai Chi Tuesdays.

Which you might consider reinstating.

You really would benefit.

I finally got this institution back on track,

and I refuse to let the next generation of blonde Woods nymphs

destroy what I've created!

Tai Chi Tuesdays. I'm just saying.

Out!

(BELL RINGS)

Aren't you a little young to be a school administrator?

Oh, yeah, well, I do data entry and IT in the main offices

as my work study.

Work-study?

Well, yeah. On full scholarship at Pac Prep,

you need to work to pay off your tuition.

Ergo, work-study.

It's a good thing we're only partial scholarship, then.

Inputting data makes me nod off.

Not me. I can input data all day long.

You into computers?

I faff around a bit.

Faff?

What Annie means is faff.

It means dabble.

Good to know. Well, here we are.

This is first-period American History.

I'm in the same class,

but I need to swing by the computer lab first.

So here, Izzy.

I'll see you in class, Annie.

(EXCLAIMS)

IZZY: Annie?

Sorry.

Hello? Come on.

(BELL RINGS)

It's an Uber Electronics phone.

My daddy's company isn't even releasing them in stores till next year.

(GIGGLING)

It's a phone, video game console,

MP3 player, PDA, all in one.

(GASPS) It even has HD hologram technology.

Oh!

The coolest thing ever.

I've gotta have one.

Well, I might be able to convince my daddy to get you one.

Whoa. Hottie airlines taxing into the gate.

I'll check us in with the teacher while you find us seats.

Okay.

Oh, my...

Goldilocks make Justin Bear happy.

What are you two going on about?

Hi, Mr. Golden, I'm Izzy, and I was told I'm to check in with you.

Excuse me.

What do you think you are doing?

Um...

Sitting?

In my chair.

Literally, that's my chair. My daddy paid for it.

Oh, I'm sorry. That plaque is beautiful.

You have a lovely seat.

Everyone knows, front row, three across, in every classroom,

my seat.

Do I need to send out a memo to every newbie dweeb that...

Are you, like, a frosted flake or what?

I beg your pardon?

I just told you that's my seat.

Well, this is a bit awkward, considering I've never even met you.

I'm Izzy...

Oh, okay! Am I being Punk'd?

Is this a joke? 'Cause I'm not laughing.

Anyone?

Izzy, I saved you a seat here.

Excuse me.

There's two of them?

(BELL RINGS)

Look, Brad, be a sport.

Sharpen my pencils.

Justin, the sharpener's three feet away.

You know that sound drives me crazy.

(WHIRRING)

(GROANS)

Welcome back.

I am Mr. Golden, your history teacher.

I would like to extend a special welcome to

Annie and Izzy Woods.

Hi.

They're new here to Pac Prep.

Hi there.

And they are...

(COUGHS) Hot.

(ALL LAUGH)

From the UK, Mr. Whitley,

which is actually quite ironic

when you consider how much class time

we have spent discussing

one of their country's greatest upsets.

Would you care to guess what that subject is?

How about you, Annie?

The... The...

The...

IZZY: Don't be shy, Annie. You know the answer.

America, England...

Everybody was upset.

David Beckham joining the Galaxy?

(ALL LAUGH)

No. No, Izzy. No, actually.

(CLEARS THROAT)

We were actually talking about the American Revolution.

Now, does anyone have any thoughts

about what advantages the Patriots had

that allowed them to defeat the English?

Miss Donohugh.

Our forefathers' biggest advantage

was to keep the war well inland,

where Britain's massive navy posed little threat.

My forefathers crossed "the pond" on the Mayflower,

so we know a little bit about this sort of thing.

Yes. Well, thank you.

Uh-huh.

Well, anyone else? Any thoughts?

Yes, Izzy.

Well, we came across recently on Virgin Atlantic.

But I once read this brilliant paper

that claimed that the arrogance of the British military

may well have been the colonists'...

I mean, the Patriots' greatest advantage.

You see, our daft ancestors totally underestimated

the keenness of you Yanks' mostly civilian force,

and so failed to dispatch England's best soldiers.

(MOUTHING)

Well, that's wonderful, Izzy!

Thank you!

Well, now, you see, class, this is exactly the kind of fresh insight

I'm always looking for.

You never told me you thought my colonies paper was brilliant.

And it was. Not my fault you can't speak up.

IZZY: We just find that this dress code

makes us all look like flight attendants.

(LAUGHTER)

Did you really sit in Tiffany's seat? What was it like?

Cold.

Bangers and mash sounds like hurl. Is it?

IZZY AND ANNIE: So-so.

Where'd you get those matching bracelets? They are so high-end.

Donatella... No, Ron Herman.

Covent Garden.

At a flea market.

Who does your hair?

Us.

Well, why wouldn't she wanna do my homework?

GIRL: Who does your nails?

Us.

Just who do those bottle-blonde bimbos think they are?

Actually, the buzz says

their summer-wheat-number-four hair color is natural.

Not a single highlight.

And even more sick, their noses are real.

Come on.

That's a Dr. Feldman number seven if ever I've seen one.

Or two.

JUSTIN: Hey, what's up?

ASHLEY: And Justin is totally digging them.

Are you actually suggesting that those Brit twits

pose a threat to moi?

Well, like, reality check, Tiff.

They seem to be doing pretty well.

Don't think I didn't notice.

As Sun Tzu said,

"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer."

Sun Tzu?

You mean, like, the sushi chef at Nobu?

(WHISPERING) Tiffany. Scram!

Hi. I'm Tiffany. Mind if I join?

If you don't mind sitting with a pair of frosted flakes.

I'm so sorry I was a jerk earlier.

I really think that you got the wrong first impression of me.

(CLEARS THROAT)

It's just I have this vision thing,

see, where I need to sit in that same chair

in every class to see the board.

My vision is, like, 20/one zillion.

I'm really insecure about it. But, well, I was rude.

I'm sorry. Can we, like, rewind?

BOTH: Of course.

I was a bit rude myself.

It's Isabelle, right?

Izzy. And this is...

Annie.

Oh, hi, Chris. Take a seat.

Yes, please. Take a seat.

Over there with your friends.

I think they're waiting for you.

But wait a minute. Chris is really nice.

TIFFANY: Oh, and cute.

Yeah.

TIFFANY: And that's what makes it that much more tragic.

Tragic?

If you want to make it at Pac Prep,

I'd better bring you up to speed

on the dos and the don'ts.

For example,

the saddest members of the FCC.

Don't stare at them!

Financially Challenged Club.

(WHISPERS) Scholarship kids.

Poor unfortunates who wander these halls like cash-strapped ghosts.

I see poor people.

They're so ashamed of their situation.

Well, they give us our space, we give them theirs.

And never the two shall meet.

I mean, why shove our obvious advantages in their faces?

I mean, it's just so disrespectful. Who is that cruel?

Just one tuition check away from hopping on to the...

(WHIMPERS)

Big, yellow, public...

(SQUEALING)

School bus.

I mean, the stories that I have heard about this kind of lifestyle

it's just so...

Middle-class.

Look, we should tell you that...

That we completely understand.

We'll do our best to respect others who have less.

(LAUGHING) Delish, then.

But come on. It's your first day.

Let's talk about something more relevant to humanity, like...

(GASPS) Lip gloss.

(BOTH GIGGLE)

We could've just told her we're on scholarships, I guess.

And commit social suicide on our first day?

We're Elle Woods' cousins.

We have a reputation to uphold.

And think of Dad.

We need to make a go of it here for his sake.

I guess you're right.

But it was really kind of Tiffany

to let us come under her wing like that.

We could've really mucked things up here.

She has got amazing style.

I've only seen shoes like that in magazines.

Look.

They should've just named the whole place Tiffany Prep.

ASHLEY: Pretty cool, huh?

Tiff's dad is the CEO of Uber Electronics.

Uber Electronics?

As in one of the biggest

computer technology companies in the world?

The biggest.

Not a brag, 'cause I'm not like that. Just a fact,

in case you find yourselves in a conversation

about my family's incredible wealth.

(BAD BRITISH ACCENT) Wouldn't want you to not have the 411.

DRIVER: Your car, Miss Donohugh.

Oh! There's our ride.

She drives an aircraft carrier.

You two need a lift?

No, thanks. Our dad's picking us up.

Another time?

Definitely. Like, tomorrow?

Mmm! You are on. Tomorrow, then.

Bag, Charles.

Certain days you wake up

And it's like all the world's...

So I said,

"Hello? What part of 'decaf soy latte' don't you understand?"

(GIRLS LAUGHING)

Hola, Sylvia.

Good morning, Miss Donohugh.

Right after lunch, Ash and I took the time

to stack those trays for you.

We thought you could use a hand.

Mmm-hmm.

Have a beautiful day.

Poor woman. She works so hard.

So sweet of you to help her.

Although, I have to say she didn't look too happy about it.

Well, often, when supporting the less fortunate,

you're only met with scorn.

(GROANING)

Gum? I have pink and green.

Uh-huh, that's right

This is the place to be tonight

Welcome to the party Aw, yeah

Welcome to the party Aw, yeah

This is my party And it's all about me

ANNIE: This must be like

living in the Victoria and Albert Museum.

We actually studied this piece

in our art appreciation class last year.

This is a beautiful reproduction.

Reproduction?

(SCOFFS)

Welcome to the party Aw, yeah

Welcome to the party Aw, yeah

Your estate is amazing.

Stables, pools, helipad, tennis courts.

The only thing missing is...

Two trampolines?

One for me and one for my personal trainer.

Dolph swears that it is the best workout you'll ever have.

You ever been on one?

When I was younger, I, you know...

"Dabbled."

Come on, silly.

I'll teach you a few things.

Nothing too scary.

Let's try something easy like this.

Ooh!

Brilliant, Tiff.

Like this?

Show-off.

Okay, that was pretty good. Try this.

(GASPS)

Wow! Let me try.

Oh, gee, you're pretty good. How about this?

(GASPS) Wow! How about this?

Isn't this fun?

(LAUGHING)

How about this?

(SCREAMS)

(EXCLAIMS)

Tiffany, are you all right?

I'll have my driver take you home.

(TIFFANY GROANS)

MR. GOLDEN: And now, class, your quiz results.

Izzy.

Annie, here's yours.

I did great.

(SIGHS)

ANNIE: Don't worry, Izzy. I'll tutor you.

MR. GOLDEN: The constitution is pure poetry.

And now, each one of you is going to have the chance

to recite this patriotic work of art

up here in front of the entire class,

beginning with the student with the highest grade-point average.

Ladies and gentlemen, all the way from the UK,

Miss Annabelle Woods!

You'll be fine.

MR. GOLDEN: Miss Woods?

(STUTTERING) We... The...

(CLASS LAUGHING)

We the people...

MR. GOLDEN: Okay. Okay.

Everybody, settle down.

Please continue, Miss Woods.

ANNIE: Oh...

Hey, beautiful. Which one are you?

Excuse me?

Which twin? Iggy or Annie?

Iggy.

My friends just call me Izzy.

Yeah. Yeah.

It's that whole, you know, lost in translation thing,

since you speak...

...read The Odyssey again.

We've read it the last two years.

(CLICKING)

You know, because you're from England and you speak...

English.

Obviously.

Yeah.

Hey, nerd, get another irritating habit.

So, where was I?

Oh, you got a date for the silver bells dance?

Hey, shouldn't you be asking Tiffany?

Everybody says you're an item.

Well, some of the time.

Hey, Tiffany Donohugh doesn't own me.

(EXCLAIMS)

You're keeping your enemies really close, if you ask me.

I'm paying them a little visit tomorrow to "study."

The only thing I'm going to "study" is them.

There's gotta be a skeleton in their pink perky closets.

(SIGHS)

You're in a mess

You should see yourself

Listen to you

You sound like someone else

Hi!

Come on in.

We were just getting to the battles of Concord and Lexington.

Mmm, I'd rather hear about the battles

between Armani versus Versace.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(EXCLAIMING)

I barely passed British history.

Now I have to slog through American?

It's too much. I give up.

It's still early in the term. You're a great debater.

You need to use that confidence for the test.

Easy to say when you're getting an A, and I'm barely passing.

MR. WOODS: Tea time.

This is our handsome, scholarly,

and currently less-than-well-dressed dad.

Dad, this is Tiffany.

Hello.

Hi.

I love the apron.

I wish my own father could just relax

and enjoy being common.

(LAUGHS) No offense.

None taken, I think.

(BARKING)

Oops! Nature calls.

Bye-bye, fellows.

Your daughters are awesome.

And they're already so popular.

Well, wish I could take credit. I...

Is that your wife?

Oh, yes.

She's beautiful. I can see where the girls got their good looks. No offense.

Well, that time maybe a little offense.

And I love that painting.

Oh, no. That is Elle Woods.

Oh, yes! Elle Woods. Actually, I've heard of her.

Headmistress Higgins speaks of her often and fondly.

Yes, she is a Pac Prep graduate and a favorite cousin.

This is her house, actually.

I certainly couldn't afford a palace like this on my professor's salary.

Oh, sure.

That's why I'm so glad that Izzy and Annie

have a good friend like you to study with,

because it's very important they work hard to keep their scholarships.

Well, then, it is very lucky that the girls have scholarships.

(LAUGHS)

So, until we meet again,

which I guess will be tomorrow at the alumni dance, hmm?

It promises to be the hottest in years.

Alumni dance?

We actually weren't aware of any school dance.

Are we invited?

Of course.

Oh, my God. You have to come. It's a Pac Prep tradition

on the pool deck of the Queen Mary.

You know, swimming, hot dogs on the grill, fireworks.

(ALL GIGGLE)

It's just all-American beach boy stuff,

which sophisticated British folk might find too common.

Oh, stop it. It sounds amazing.

Okay. So, what's everyone wearing?

I'm just wearing my white Armani bikini.

If you wear a hot bathing suit, I promise...

Yeah.

Okay.

...you are gonna make a splash.

(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)

Welcome to the Pac Prep reunion, ladies.

Thank you.

Maybe you and Chris can play ball, Annie.

Only in LA could you have a pool party on a ship.

Why didn't we move here sooner?

Here's your program.

Thank you.

I wonder what Chris Lopez looks like in swimming trunks.

(GASPS) It's fascinating.

Since when did you care about ships?

Since the brochure came in pink.

Ladies, you must absolutely be Annie and Izzy Woods.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

Is that the way to the pool party?

Actually, Miss Donohugh sent me personally

to direct you ladies to the event.

Right this way.

Really?

She insists upon the VIP entrance.

(BOTH EXCLAIMING)

Okay. Thanks.

Thank you.

(LAUGHING)

He was nice.

(JAZZ MUSIC GROWS LOUDER)

VIP entrances are so dark.

That Tiffany, always looking out for her friends.

(CROWD CHATTERING)

It's as bright as the sun.

I think I hear people swimming.

(BOTH SCREAMING)

(CRASHING)

(PLAYING OFF-KEY)

(GASPING)

BOY: What?

(CROWD MURMURING)

Annie, Izzy,

your faces are almost as pathetic as your scholarship applications.

(ALL GASPING)

HIGGINS: Do you care to explain yourself, ladies?

I'm sure there's a logic to this wholly undignified display.

(STAMMERING)

(SIGHING)

How humiliating. Totally exposed.

In so many ways.

I can't believe Tiffany turned out to be a total snake in the grass.

There's only one thing to do.

BOTH: Pack.

Hello, loves. You're home early.

Hmm. My paternal instinct tells me something's wrong.

BOTH: We have to move.

Pardon?

We're moving back to England.

Everybody at school thinks we're lying gits.

'Cause we are lying gits.

Professor Dad confused.

We just wanted to make friends, and Tiffany made it so easy.

Till she found out we're scholarship students

and ratted on us in front of the entire school.

In our swimming costumes.

Wait. She didn't know you were scholarship students?

ANNIE: No. We kept it a secret.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm afraid I let that one out of the bag myself, girls.

You told her?

Yeah, guilty. Why shouldn't I?

All that matters at Pac Prep is how much money you have

and what kind of car you drive.

If you're not like them, they shun you.

We just wanted to fit in, that's all.

And look where it got you.

For two girls who couldn't be more alike,

you are 100% originals.

Don't let Pac Prep change you. You change Pac Prep.

But first, we have to admit...

We are complete and utter idiots.

Chris, you were nice enough to reach out to us.

We were too blinded by Tiffany's bling.

Can you ever forgive us?

(WHISPERING)

I think we have room for one... Two more.

Annie and Izzy, this is Vivek. That's Marcie.

You two are the most freakishly flaxen human beings

I've ever laid my eyes on.

BOTH: Thank you.

CHRIS: And that's Rainbow in the middle.

I take it your parents were very creative.

No, they're hippies. We live in a yurt in Topanga.

(EXCLAIMS)

Got me in the eyes. Oh, why in the eyes?

(VIVEK LAUGHING)

IZZY: Just be yourself, Chris. Annie's kind of shy.

Izzy, I just... I get so tongue-tied.

Look, if you want to go out with Annie,

find the confidence.

That's what girls go for.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Chris...

Thanks.

Chris, you're so funny.

Okay, help me out. Pretend to be Annie.

Hi, Annie. Okay, just...

In case you haven't noticed, I kind of, like, dig you,

and I think you have

the most eyes ever.

Chris, most beautiful eyes.

(SIGHS)

It's okay.

I know.

The good news is Annie likes you, too, so go for it.

But you hurt her, I break your neck.

All right. Soup's on.

I never knew the Boston Tea Party was all our fault.

Why do we have to learn so much about history?

I mean, what's wrong with the future?

As long as Mr. Golden doesn't make me speak in public, I'm happy.

You know how to get rid of that fear of public speaking, don't you?

Avoid the public?

Transport yourself.

Come on, Annie.

All right, now. Close your eyes.

And open your mind, and go to a moment

that you were happiest in your entire life. Where are you?

ANNIE: I'm in our Kentfield cottage.

It's autumn.

The leaves are just starting to turn.

Having a cup of tea with Dad,

Mum

and Izzy.

When you're feeling the pressure, just go to that happy place.

Thank you. I'll definitely try that next time.

It's a humiliating affliction.

VIVEK: I know what you mean. Every morning, I gotta go through

that big, white gate at Pretentious Prep to take another week's

worth of punishment from those snobs.

It's just so humiliating.

Maybe there's a way we can make it better for all of us.

Yeah, doubtful. Tiffany's turned everyone against us.

Whenever we try and get involved, they just rag on us

for being less fortunate.

There's strength in numbers.

We just have to be ourselves, stick together...

Strength in numbers.

...and refuse to be intimidated.

Well, that sounds good, but I sure don't feel like myself

in that stupid uniform.

Yeah, me, either. They call me Rainbow,

but I'm just another drab blue blazer in the crowd.

Maybe we could change that.

How?

(ORDINARY SUPERSTAR PLAYING)

(ALL LAUGHING)

Hey, you there

You stand out in a crowd

Yes, yes, yes.

Nothin' about you is ordinary

Hey, you there

I hope you feel proud

It seems you settled the score already

I like this one.

You're the hands-down winner

You're the champion

You're the record taker

Record breaker number one

Another day for an ordinary superstar...

Oh, Mutz. These are so sick.

Only Justin has a pair, which, of course, Tiffany bought for him.

These are, like, my dream shoe.

Dream?

$400 for a pair of trainers?

Seems more like a nightmare.

$400?

Hmm.

Again, this was on the sales table,

but it's clearly not on sale.

Flip...

And wave.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Excuse me,

but this material was erroneously placed on the sales table.

Hmm?

So we shouldn't be penalized

for the mistakes made by your employees.

We desperately need this material.

Won't you help us? Ruth?

(GIRLS GIGGLING)

Okay, okay, you win, you win.

I'll give you the sale price. Just stop that hair-twitchy thing.

It's creeping me out.

BOTH: Deal.

You're the hands-down winner

You're the champion

You're the record taker Record breaker number one

Well, uh-oh

Ready, everyone?

Let's show our true colors, shall we?

Let's do this thing.

Another day for an ordinary superstar

We are ordinary superstars

We are ordinary superstars

We are ordinary superstars

We are ordinary superstars

My office. Now.

Article 6.2E does not forbid accessorizing said skirt.

An oversight that will be corrected.

However, article eight, paragraph three

expressly states the uniform shirt

must be monochromatic.

Therefore, I have no choice but to order detention.

With all due respect, Headmistress,

I think you're confusing article eight, paragraph three

with article three, paragraph eight.

Article two.

Tights must be worn in solid colors.

Article seven.

Male students must wear neckties.

Which they are.

Hmm.

I heard the headmistress almost called SWAT.

You didn't get detention?

Why should we?

Technically, we're not breaking any rules.

See, we're dressing around the code.

Okay, I don't know how it works, but it does.

I wanna dress around the code. Hook a sister up!

GIRL: Yeah, me, too.

Fake bag. Fake. Fake. Terribly fake.

I am just so tired of everybody looking to me to set trends.

It's exhausting, you know?

Looks like you're getting a break.

What are you gonna do?

Divide and conquer.

What happened to keeping your enemies close?

Just go get my lunch.

We'll see you after class.

Great.

Okay. Bye.

Wow. Your new outfits look terrific.

BOTH: Thank you.

Do you know who Sylvia's crush is?

BOTH: Mr. Golden?

Mmm-hmm.

Girl has got it bad.

But she can't get up the nerve to talk to him.

BOTH: Well, we've got a cure for that.

Sylvia, if you want to catch a boy's eyes...

I'm all ears.

All it takes is a little flip...

And wave.

Works every time.

What?

Senor Golden.

I couldn't help but overhear your lecture

on the US Constitution.

I have often debated the influence

of the Magna Carta on our Bill of Rights.

(SOUL MUSIC PLAYING)

I'm Gary.

Sylvia.

Yes! Yes!

Where's your dad?

Oh, he was giving a lecture and he warned us he'd be late.

SYLVIA: Brad, I never could have finished in time without you.

No problem.

Hola!

ALL: Hi, Sylvia.

Hey, guys.

What are you all still doing here?

Oh, our lift is late. What about you?

Same here.

(CAR HORN HONKS)

Oh, Pop must be doing the all-night Japanese stock exchange.

Sent the gardener. Hate that.

Well, good night, everybody.

ANNIE: Good night, Brad.

IZZY: See you later.

See you, Brad. What was that about?

IZZY: You can trust us.

ANNIE: We wouldn't dare say anything.

CHRIS: Come on, Sylvia, we're cool with him.

Brad's on scholarship just like you.

ALL: He is?

He always asks to work the late shift with me

to keep it on the down-low.

Nobody knows but me, right?

Yeah, yeah.

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

I got a hot date tonight with a moldy old stiff.

MR. GOLDEN: Sylvia?

All locked up. Ready to go?

We're going to see the mummy exhibit at the city museum.

I'll go warm up the car.

Come on now, baby

Maybe tonight we'll make a little history.

BOTH: Flip and wave always works.

History. Oh, no!

Blast!

I left my history notebook in Mr. Golden's classroom.

Never fear.

Triple-zero key.

It's a master key that unlocks every door in the school.

Come on, I'll let you in.

Is that allowed?

Well, technically, it's only for my work-study,

but, hey, if this key doesn't work, you can't study.

We need those notes.

I need those notes, Annie.

I don't know, guys...

It's cool, Annie.

I'll go. What's the worst that can happen?

Watch your step, Izzy.

I thought you said this was allowed.

Technically allowed, but who wants to explain technicalities to him?

(DOOR CLOSES)

(SHUSHING)

It's not here.

He probably just locked it in his office.

Come on, let's look in there.

Is that it?

Yes!

Mission accomplished.

It was a no-brainer, Annie.

You two make quite the team.

You have no idea.

(CAR HORN HONKING)

Oh, there's Dad. Good night.

Good night.

Girls!

BOTH: Hi, Dad.

How was school today?

BOTH: It was fine.

MR. WOODS: Excellent.

IZZY: 11th Amendment. Paying full price for an Armani

or Prada three-piece.

Immunity of States to foreign suits.

Yes!

Yes! Okay.

Second Amendment.

Picture Annie in a sleeveless top.

Right to bear arms?

Yes!

Oh!

Fourth Amendment.

Annie's shopping at a half-price sale at Harrods.

Searches and seizures!

Yes!

Annie's notes really work.

She is really clever.

Izzy.

You're welcome.

Annie. Izzy, Annie.

Izzy. Izzy!

What's up, backstabber?

I beg your pardon?

I saw you and Chris behind the bleachers at lunch,

exchanging breath mints with no hands.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Drop the act, Izzy!

But I'm not...

Only a troll would steal her sister's boyfriends.

Now, 13th Amendment.

(SIGHS)

Just look how happy Annie is with Chris.

I've done some awful things in my day,

but that is the worst. The lowest of the low.

(CHRIS LAUGHING)

Do you understand now?

I got it. I got it.

In just a few moments, you fortunate people

will be embarking upon an amazing journey...

Hey, don't worry, Izzy.

At least there will still be one Woods sister left

when you flunk the final and lose your scholarship.

What do you mean?

Nothing.

It's just that, well, I overheard Annie saying

that she wasn't gonna let you drag her down with you, is all.

(WHIRRING)

You done with the sharpener?

The test is getting ready to start.

Bye.

MR. GOLDEN: At the count of three,

you may all turn over your test papers and begin.

One, two...

(ALARM RINGING)

No! Not a fire alarm!

Not now!

I just want to get the test over with.

I was about to bring my A-game.

Oh, no!

What?

My bracelet. Annie gave it to me

and I've never taken it off.

It will break her heart if I lose it.

It's probably in the courtyard. Come on, I'll help you find it.

Thanks.

Come on.

All right, kids, false alarm.

Everybody back into the classroom.

We still have time to take that test.

That's not fair, Mr. Golden.

I mean, we prepped hard for this exam,

understanding we'd have a full hour to enjoy it.

Good point.

Tell you what we'll do just this once.

We'll use the rest of the hour to study for the test,

which we'll then take tomorrow in all its glory!

Yes!

Yay!

GIRL: It'll be great.

BOY: That's so cool.

(GROANS)

(BELL RINGS)

Three, two...

One.

(SIGHS)

Please begin.

(PEN CLICKING)

(PEN CLICKING)

Dude, stop with the pen. You're driving me nuts.

(TIMER DINGS)

I can't believe how fast you finished.

Oh, I probably missed some,

but it will still be my best grade yet.

We'll know tomorrow.

This Uber phone is so cool.

Dude, this thing has a GPS system.

Look, we're right there.

Let me see.

Did I say you could touch it?

Hey, Izzy.

If you ever get tired of being treated like that,

we know some less fortunates

who would be fortunate to have you.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I think this has been a learning experience for all of us.

How on earth did you do better than me?

Well, I won't say it's in my genes, but I worked hard for it.

You all scored very well on this test,

and I would like to congratulate those of you

who were able to do it with a little integrity.

Unfortunately,

I'm disappointed

to have to announce we appear to have cheaters in our midst.

(ALL GASP)

(ALL MURMURING)

Miss Woods, Mr. Lopez, please stand.

(MURMURING CONTINUES)

Just the one Miss Woods.

Isabelle.

I'd like you both to recall the honor code you signed

upon enrolling at Pac Prep.

What is the punishment for cheating, Miss Woods?

Expulsion.

Mr. Golden discovered a triple-zero key

broken off in the lock to his office yesterday

after the false fire alarm.

Chris, you are the only person

in this institution trusted with such a key.

If you can produce yours,

I'm sure we can clear the whole matter up.

Yeah, absolutely.

It's right...

Here.

Yours is broken, too.

Pity.

Miss Woods, you and your sister seem to share a great deal.

She's my best friend.

You also share a pair of bracelets?

Yours being slightly more pink?

Yes, ma'am.

But recently I've misplaced it.

Mr. Golden found it in his locked office.

That's it!

The same locked office where the answers to your tests

were stored in his computer.

(BRACELET CLACKS)

The same answers that we found taped beneath your desk.

Oh, Izzy.

It was all my fault. I was the one...

Unfortunately, I have no other option

than to pronounce the two of you...

Wait!

Sorry. I couldn't stop her.

Excuse me. This does not concern you yet.

It does.

Not as a sister, but as a student.

And every student at Pac Prep has certain rights.

"No student may be expelled without a fair hearing

"before a jury of their peers."

Something called the...

"Student Jurors Council."

She's right. I double-checked.

You had some spare time while you were blocking the door?

It's right here in black and white.

"No matter how guilty the accused may seem,

"they do have a right to defend themselves."

Very well, Miss Woods.

If it's a public spectacle you want,

a public spectacle you will get.

Annie, we are so sorry.

Everyone knows about Chris and Izzy.

What?

Well, I guess not everyone.

Just never would have believed they'd cheat to make you look bad.

It is so gross how a guy can break up BFFs.

Even sister BFFs.

IZZY: Annie, wait!

TIFFANY: If you need to talk, we're here for you.

Please stop!

Annie, you don't think we did this, do you?

Let's just say I've heard enough!

Expulsion?

Did you do this so we'd have to move back to England?

I didn't do it, Dad.

Then tell me what happened.

There's nothing to tell. I studied my backside off,

and I scored well on that test!

But since even my own sister doesn't believe me,

I know I'm in massive trouble.

Annie?

Annie, say something.

I don't speak to Benedict Arnolds.

Do you know who he is, Izzy,

or do I need to print up a crib sheet for you?

That was uncalled for, don't you think?

She's never scored higher than me.

She studied hard for that test, Annie.

And she had the best history tutor in the world. You.

Are you certain there might not be a little bit of jealousy

involved here, perhaps?

She stole my score! And the boy I fancy!

Enough!

Look, I know this move has been difficult for the both of you,

but I don't buy Izzy doing either of those things,

and I don't think you do, either.

Izzy is your sister, your built-in best mate.

Talk to her.

Before it's too late.

(IZZY CRYING)

Do you swear you didn't do it?

I swear on my BCBG dress.

The one I found on sale with a pink...

BOTH: Halter neck.

(SNIFFLES)

Yeah, that one.

I've never lied to you, Annie.

I will never lie to you, ever.

Chris, I swear I never...

We don't have to talk about it.

Tiffany thought I was you,

and told me I was a troll for making out with Chris

behind the bleachers.

I know now.

It's fine.

It's not fine because it's not true!

I'm not with Chris! That never happened!

Oh, my gosh. Tiffany was completely tricking us.

She must've known I was me,

pretended I was you to drive a wedge right between us.

What a cow!

But we might be bigger cows for letting her come between us.

Almost.

Annie, I can't fight Higgins without you.

You won't have to.

I'm with you.

Always.

(SNIFFLES)

You sort of owe Chris an apology, too.

Oh, I know. I feel so daft.

Make you a deal.

You get me off the hook, and I'll make sure Chris finally asks you out.

(CHUCKLES)

(FINGERS SNAPPING)

Did you cheat?

Absolutely not.

Then I'm really sorry I thought you did.

For a girl who's right so often,

you sure have been wrong a lot lately.

(CHUCKLES)

But not anymore.

Thanks, everyone, for sticking by us.

Nobody at school is even talking to us.

We're not like that.

If you say you didn't cheat, we believe you.

Even I believed they were guilty

until they told me the rest of the story.

Okay. We have until Friday to prove your innocence.

Everybody know what to do?

ANNIE: Ready?

ALL: Break!

Sony, G, are you ready

To kick out the jams?

We're gonna go rock steady

A purchase, a porcupine A peanut pomegranate

Damn it, yes 'Cause that's how we send it

Down, down Right through the hoop

Got the chief on the horn I got a scoop here

Extra, extra Read all about it

BTK's top billing So shout it

Yeah

Yeah

Yeah

Yeah

We need to see how easy it is

to gain access to your backpack, Chris.

Seems quite secure.

There's only one other student

that I know of with that same backpack.

Tiffany.

Tomorrow, then.

Bag, Charles.

Izzy, do you remember our matching Claire Dejune

designer snappy purses?

They also came with a little key.

And when you lost yours...

We used yours to open mine.

One key opened both purses.

Snappy purse?

ANNIE: So, have you got anything, Vivek?

You'll be happy to know we found nothing.

But we did find a red smudge and we think it could be blood.

Since we're not discussing a homicide...

I admit we're a bit light on evidence

if all we've got is a smudge mark.

But sometimes a great barrister

can make the best of what little there is.

Barrister? How could a dude from Starbucks be any help to us?

A lawyer.

ALL: Oh!

IZZY: Which we don't have.

I was talking about you, Izzy.

There isn't a better barrister in the whole world,

especially once you've been prepped by me

and my crack legal team.

Oh, yeah. All right.

CHRIS: Yeah. Yeah.

(GAVEL BANGING)

HIGGINS: All rise.

I now call the Student Jurors Council hearing into session.

You may be seated.

This is the case of Pacific Prep

versus Woods and Lopez.

The crime, trespassing, breaking and entering, cheating.

Are the accused present?

We are, Headmistress Higgins.

And who shall be defending you, Miss Woods?

I, Isabelle Woods, will be representing

both Mr. Lopez and myself, ma'am,

with co-counsel and advice from my sister,

Miss Annabelle Woods.

And for the prosecution?

Tiffany Donohugh and Justin Whitley,

with the aid of our legal assistant

Ashley Meadows.

We will humbly represent

the student body of Pacific Prep.

Hey, don't get too comfortable.

This won't take long.

(PEOPLE LAUGHING)

(MURMURING)

The prosecution calls Mr. Golden.

Yes, this is the key I found broken off in the lock.

Can you tell me if this half matches?

Why, yes.

As far as you know, Mr. Golden,

how many triple-zero keys are in existence?

Just the one.

And who does this key belong to?

It belongs to Chris Lopez.

Mr. Golden, can you tell me what this is?

This is the cheat sheet

with the answers to my history test on it.

And where did you find it?

I found it taped underneath the desk of Isabelle Woods.

(PEOPLE MURMURING)

Can you point her out, please?

Yes. She's the twin with the ponytail.

Mr. Golden, was there anything else unusual

about your office on the day in question?

Well, the bracelet.

This bracelet?

And you found this where?

On the floor of my office.

Seems like I've seen this bracelet somewhere before.

Annie Woods, you have one

just like this, don't you?

And Izzy Woods, you...

It's mine.

(PEOPLE GASPING)

That's odd. Hmm.

No more questions.

HIGGINS: Isabelle Woods, you may present your case.

(CLEARS THROAT)

A Jansport Hampton X25 backpack.

A high-end model that Mr. Lopez

and one other Pac Prep student uses.

The counsel will note that the prosecution

has one such backpack under their table.

Miss Donohugh, may I see the key to your backpack?

(LAUGHS) Obviously, I object.

This is ridiculous.

Just give her the key, and let's move on.

As I will show,

this brand of backpack comes with a factory key.

Any of which can open any other version

of the same backpack.

(MURMURING)

Proving that anyone with this style of backpack

could've used their key to gain access to Chris'...

I mean, Mr. Lopez's backpack,

stealing his triple-zero key and committing the crime.

TIFFANY: That's my backpack key.

Are you so desperate that you're...

I'm simply stating a fact. Thank you.

Well, whoop-dee-doo!

What, did my little backpack roll itself over

and put the cheat sheet beneath your desk?

Miss Woods, please continue.

The defense is calling Mr. Whitley.

You can call me Justin, babe.

And you can call me Miss Woods.

Mr. Whitley, where were you

right before the fire alarm was mysteriously pulled?

I was in the back of the classroom,

sharpening my pencil.

You done with the sharpener?

Right next to you.

Oh, that's true.

I need to confirm with my co-counsel.

BOTH GIRLS: Oops!

Now what? It's all we've got.

Fingerprint stuff?

Oh, it's so inconclusive. They'll laugh at us.

I'm finished.

We've got nothing convincing.

We might as well just give up.

Thanks for trying to help.

It's such a shame, isn't it?

Beaten by smarmy gits that flounce around

in $400 hand-painted trainers.

ANNIE: Oh, my gosh. Vivek's pictures.

Of course! It makes perfect sense.

Tick-tock, ladies.

If you're ready to end this thing,

I think we are all ready to ask...

For a recess!

You can't!

Par section 4.4B, we are allowed one, ma'am.

Tear this place apart.

We've got to find those photos.

The ones with the little red marks under Mr. Golden's desk.

I got 'em!

ANNIE: (GASPS) There on the floor.

Scuff marks.

Justin's one-of-a-kind, red-sneaker scuff marks.

Look, this is Mr. Golden's paper. It's his morning paper.

It's got the date right in the headline.

This evidence has its own time stamp.

It's the smoking gun.

For safekeeping.

Look.

Maybe they aren't as cool as they are in court.

ANNIE: Let's go.

You're going to have to get Justin to break on the stand, Izzy.

Oh, I'll make him break, all right, like a...

Oh, my pen.

Enjoy public school, Woodsy.

Hello?

(CHATTERING)

Where is she?

(GAVEL BANGS)

HIGGINS: Recess is over.

I call this trial back to session, Miss Woods.

Chop-chop.

(WHISPERING) Where's Izzy?

Annie, you gotta take this over.

Time's running out.

I can't.

Not in front of all these people.

Well?

Miss Woods, if you have nothing more to say,

I presume the defense rests,

and the verdict can be rendered.

Come on, Annie, you have the evidence, now nail 'em.

(SIGHING)

ANNIE: Go to your happy place. Go to your happy place.

Miss Woods?

One moment, please, Headmistress.

I'll get Izzy.

Show you who I am

Show you who I am

For the record, Headmistress,

my co-counsel Annie has...

Taken it, I'm afraid.

She won't be assisting me at the moment.

So, if it pleases the court,

I, Isabelle Woods,

would like to recall Mr. Whitley.

Just one more time. Forgive me, I'm blonde.

(LAUGHING)

Where were you when the fire alarm sounded?

Hello? Can anybody hear me? Hello?

(TOILET FLUSHES)

Are you aware of a fashion trend known as Mutz?

I don't follow fashion.

No need. I'm not that insecure.

Mutz are very expensive trainers.

Sneakers, if you will.

The counsel will note

that Mr. Whitley is wearing a pair at this very moment.

May I see one?

Whatever floats your boat, blondie.

The latest must-have design

comes in a sensational scarlet.

One of the many colors

students have only recently begun to wear

since they learned how to dress around the code.

Because they're hand-painted, this style of shoe

leaves behind a very unique scuff mark.

Chris?

Oh, please. A scuff mark?

That's what we overpay custodians to mop up.

(SIGHING)

(SCREAMING)

Mr. Whitley, have you ever been inside

Mr. Golden's private office?

Never.

Are you sure?

I'm positive.

Well then, can you explain how the exact same scuff marks

came to be on Mr. Golden's floor?

(PEOPLE GASPING)

I object!

What exact same scuff marks?

(COUGHING)

My briefcase. I have tools in my briefcase.

If it pleases the court,

the defense would like to submit photographic evidence...

(WHISPERS) I've got Izzy's briefcase.

Okay.

This is Annie's briefcase.

(STAMMERING) I seem to have misplaced...

Does defense have any more questions for the witness?

He has lacrosse practice.

Perfect!

Mr. Whitley, what position

do you play on the lacrosse team?

What position...

(PANTING)

Coming through! Excuse me!

Headmistress, I submit Miss Woods is making a mockery of...

(DOOR OPENS)

Okay. Okay, I'm back, people!

MAN: What's goin' on?

IZZY: Hi.

Sorry. Okay, okay. I'm back.

I need a moment to consult with my co-counsel.

(MURMURING)

Izzy, where've you been? And you look flushed.

I was. Long story, long story.

What did you do to your hair?

I've been playing you and really mucked it up.

I'm ready to give up my ponytail and hand it all back to you.

Annie, you've got this far.

And you've obviously cured your fear of public speaking.

So keep speaking.

I would like to recall Mr. Golden.

Do you recognize these photos?

Yes. This is my office, and that's my newspaper.

Miss Woods, did you break into Mr. Golden's office

yet again to obtain these photographs?

This is yet another very serious crime.

Uh...

(ANNIE STAMMERING)

(MOUTHING)

(ANNIE CONTINUES STAMMERING)

Yeah, baby

Headmistress, I gave them permission.

Fair access for the accused.

HIGGINS: Continue, Miss Woods.

I would like to re-recall Mr. Whitley.

Have you ever heard of the Uber code?

No idea what you're talking about.

Urban legend perhaps.

There's talk that the designer of Uber Electronics

has an Uber code.

This code would allow him to gain access

to any computer in the school.

So?

What do I know about Uber Electronics?

I...

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Cell phones off, Mr. Whitley.

That's a nice Uber phone, Justin.

(CROWD GASPING)

(STAMMERING) I just got it. I didn't know it was a...

Get to the point, Miss Woods.

This is finally getting interesting.

ANNIE: That Uber phone is brilliant.

But how did you get one,

seeing as they haven't even hit the market yet?

I've got my connections.

Connections like Tiffany Donohugh?

(PEOPLE MURMURING)

Mr. Whitley, I asked you a question.

Did you receive your Uber phone from Tiffany Donohugh?

I have no idea what you're talking about.

She's your connection, but she made you earn that phone, didn't she?

I submit to this court that you never sharpen your own pencil.

Right before the exam, you placed yourself at the pencil sharpener,

so that when Mr. Golden looked for his stopwatch like he always does,

you snuck out!

ANNIE: It was you, Justin, who pulled the fire alarm.

(FIRE ALARM RINGING)

Earlier that day, Tiffany had given you her backpack key,

the same key that would open Chris' backpack.

You used Tiffany's key to unlock Chris' bag

and steal his triple-zero master key.

While we were all outside for the fire drill,

you headed back into Mr. Golden's office.

You used the Uber code that you got from Tiffany

to steal the answers to the history test from his computer,

which you then shrink-copied down to a perfect crib sheet.

And you left a scuff mark.

You broke off Chris' key in the lock to frame him.

While Tiffany whined about the postponed exam,

you taped the cheat sheet beneath Izzy's...

I mean, my desk.

After returning the key to Chris' bag,

you had plenty of time to rejoin Tiffany

and revel in your misdeeds.

Since you had the answers to the test,

you figured you'd use them,

hence your first good grade in a long time, right?

(PEN CLICKING)

(MULTIPLE PENS CLICKING)

Right?

Right?

Enough!

Stop with the clicking already!

Okay, I did it! I did it.

(PEOPLE GASPING)

And Tiffany paid me with an Uber phone.

You're just gonna give it up like that?

Are you some kind of jellyfish?

You let a blonde make you crack?

You are pathetic.

(MURMURING)

Well, so what if I did?

Okay, I did it! But who cares?

'Cause my family owns the very seats

that your pathetic butts are sitting on!

And that goes for you, too, lady.

You got a problem with me?

Well, you can take that up with my daddy's lawyers.

(GAVEL BANGS)

Tiffany Donohugh and Justin Whitley,

for violating the Pac Prep honor code,

you are both expelled!

(PEOPLE GASPING)

You did it!

Are you kidding me? You can't expel me.

I own this school!

Take her away!

(APPLAUSE)

That's justice!

Get your meat hooks off me, sir!

(TIFFANY GASPING)

(TIFFANY YELLING INCOHERENTLY)

And get your freaking hands...

You, Annabelle and Isabelle Woods,

I've got my eye on both of you.

Case dismissed.

MAN: Yes!

(CHEERING)

Annie, that was fantastic!

Daddy! Thanks.

I'm jealous. It was awesome!

You should have seen the look on his face.

Thank you, Annie.

(CHRIS LAUGHING)

Oh, hi.

Hi there.

Look, I'm not much of a dancer,

but you got a date for formal?

I'd love to!

(SOFT DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

This is the best dance ever.

I almost wish Tiffany was here.

I wonder how she's doing.

Oh, I'm sure she's gone to a better place.

What?

(TIFFANY YELLING)

Wait a minute! There must be some kind of mistake.

(GASPS) It reeks of bologna in here!

(SCREAMING)

Somebody let me out!

(SCREAMING)

(CLEARS THROAT) So...

Can I have this dance?

You think too much

Give it up

Let it flow through you

Can you believe those blondes?

Yeah.

Actually, they're the only ones I do believe.

(SCOFFING)

Want to dance?

Are you sure you want to be seen dancing with a scholarship kid?

Takes one to know one.

(PHONE RINGING)

That was you who rang Justin's phone, wasn't it?

I'd just figured it was time

for this school to give blonde a chance.

It's not over, girls. There's a new brunette in charge.

So, you think we should stay?

I think I can be persuaded.

(LAUGHING)

Hold on, hold on

Hold on

(THIS IS ME PLAYING)

This is my life

I'm on my own

Don't need anyone To guide me down the road

I'm finding out who

Yeah, who I wanna be

This is me

This is my life I'm in control

Movin' so fast To where I wanna go

I'm shouting out who Yeah, who do you see?

Yeah, this is me

This is me

Just don't tell me How to live my life

I've got to have control

I live for the fight

And I win every time

This is my life I'm on my own

Don't need anyone To guide me down the road

I'm finding out who Yeah, who I wanna be

This is me

This is my life I'm in control

Movin' so fast To where I wanna go

I'm shouting out who Yeah, who do you see?

Yeah, this is me

Yeah, this is me

Yeah, this is me

Yeah, this is me

Yeah, this is me

Yeah, this is me

(LUCKY GIRL PLAYING)

Mmm, yeah

Mmm, mmm, yeah

Mmm, mmm, yeah

Mmm, mmm, yeah

Mmm, mmm, yeah

Mmm, mmm, yeah

Lucky girl

You've been living in a lucky world

You've been living

Red balloons

On such a sunny afternoon

MAN: And rolling. And action.

This is Annie's briefcase.

There's got to be something in here I can use.

(SIGHING)

Perfect.

Where every moment is like

Exactly how you feel

Someone who knows your love is real

Yeah, you're a lucky girl

L-L-L-Lucky girl

I know that all your wishes can be true

MAN 1: Speed.

MAN 2: A mark.

MAN 3: And action.

We're dressed like this in honor

of the Queen Mary!

(PEOPLE GASPING)

Yes, of course. You see, the Queen Mary was a first-class ocean liner

that later transported our troops during World War II.

Sometimes up to... How many men, Mr. Golden?

Fifteen thousand to a man. In one crossing.

World War II was a time of great sacrifice.

Women didn't wear stockings so nylon could go towards making parachutes.

We've decided to honor the memory of those

who went without by also going without.

God bless America.

ALL: God bless America!

God save the Queen?

ALL: God save the Queen!

(ALL CHEERING)

(IT'S A GIRL'S WORLD PLAYING)

Anything you need you'll get

It's a girl's world

Don't you know Don't you know, baby

Anything is real if you believe it

Everything that you believe

MAN 1: Roll please.

MAN 2: Speed.

MAN 1: Marker.

MAN 3: And here we go. And action.

It's probably back in the classroom.

Thanks. When it's all clear, I'll have a look.

Well, we don't want Annie's heart to be broken.

Speaking of Annie, do you have a date to the winter formal yet?

'Cause I know a certain someone who loves to dress up,

and just so happens to share my DNA.

I'm working on it.

Oh, drill's over.

Come on, I'll race you back to class.

Let's hit those books!

MAN 3: That was great and cut.

Be there for whatever

Anywhere you want is where you're headed

Anything you need, you'll get It's a girl's world

MAN: Okay, we're rolling.

Okay. And here we go, girls. And action.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Ms. Higgins, students, teachers, distinguished alumni,

Chris Lopez and I are guilty.

(MURMURING)

(GAVEL BANGING)

Order.

Guilty of using poor judgment.

We did use the triple-zero key.

And we used it to get into Mr. Golden's office the night before the test,

where I did lose my bracelet. Guilty, guilty, guilty.

Case closed.

But all we did was retrieve my sister's notebook,

hardly a crime worthy of expulsion.

Annie left it in the classroom.

And apparently, Mr. Golden moves left items,

and puts them into his inner office.

For safekeeping.

That's true.

I object.

MAN: Great, cut.

It's a girl's world

Don't you know?

It's a girl's world

Baby, oh, yeah

Girl's world

MAN 1: Speed.

MAN 2: D mark

MAN 3: All right and action.

Mr. Golden, when and where do you like to read your morning paper?

Well, in my private office before class every morning.

And when you're finished reading the paper, what do you do with it?

Oh, well, I'm afraid I usually just throw it on the floor.

And then, after class, I remember,

I come back and pick it up, and put it into the recycling bin.

I'm afraid I'm a little bit sloppy.

That's the truth.

(PEOPLE LAUGHING)

More yelling from the audience?

This isn't some ding, dang puppet show!

(GAVEL BANGS)

HIGGINS: Order!

MAN: Cut!

We can dance all night

Mr. Wellington, are you friends with Mr. Justin Whitley?

Yeah. He's cool, I guess.

Is there something Mr. Whitley finds unpleasant?

Something he asks you to do.

I don't know.

Sharpen his pencils, I guess.

He finds it distasteful. The noise, that is.

Justin seems a little sensitive to noises.

No more questions.

MAN: Cut it! Nice.

(CREW CHATTERING)

MAN 1: Speed.

MAN 2: A mark.

MAN 3: We're rolling, rolling.

Speaking of humiliating afflictions, you should see Rainbow dance.

(ALL LAUGHING)

I am the bee's knees.

Let's see it.

Show it.

CHRIS: Show it.

RAINBOW: Okay, all right.

So dance all night tonight

All night

Don't you feel it? It's so right

We can dance all night tonight

So dance all night tonight

All night

Don't you feel it? It's so right

We can dance all night

Don't you feel it? It's so right

BOTH: Flip, flip and wave. Flip, flip and wave.

(WHOOPING)

MAN: And that's a wrap.

The Description of Legally Blondes