Follow US:

Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Astronaut Ice Cream Taste Test

Difficulty: 0

(rooster crowing)

(title roaring)

(wheel clattering)

- And,

- whoo! - Whoa!

- We get to give a motivational speech,

- Welcome to Good Mythical More.

- to someone who just found out their grandpa was Bigfoot.

(Felicia laughs)

- Listen, listen, first of all, Jane don't panic.

(crowd laughs)

Uh, he's still your grandpa, right?

- Mm-hmm.

If you have a child, it's gonna be larger

than every other kid.

- That's a good thing. - It's gonna have

really big feet. - Yeah.

- You'll have to special, they'll have special shoes,

and, two penises.

- Oh (crowd laughs)

- I'm so sorry.

- Is that-- - It's just what bigfoot have.

- Really?

- Is that how big feet...

- Oh, that's what they meant by big feet.

- Yeah (hands knocking)

(crowd laughs) - Oh.

- Two p- ,two penises (laughs) - Come,

- Coming and going. (pouch thudding)

- Wow, Jane.


(Link chuckles)

I was just gonna tell you that your granddad was

the man who dressed up in a suit.

- Yeah, lets not dispel that. - because Bigfoot isn't real.

- Wow - But you know what?

- We found out something much more important.

- Go with the two penises thing.

(Felicia laughs)

- Yeah, uh, I didn't know that about them.

- I know a lot about the sexuality

of all mythical creatures.

- I think that's sharks, actually.

- You can make up anything (Felicia laughs)

- I think it might just be sharks.

- Uh, snakes.

- No, actually all snakes have,

yes, two penises. - Yeah.

- Well most sharks do.

- Mm, what?

- Do you know what percentage of birds species have penises?

- They have cloacas, which is a hole that they

poop and pee and have

- You see what Rhett did? - have sex in.

- He pivoted the conversation to something

he knew something about.

- Yeah, you don't know anything about sex penis,

I mean shark penis.

- Sex penis. (everyone laughs)

Hey, hey,

- You don't know anything about that.

- Both are true.

- Sex penis (Felicia laughs)

- You know nothing about sex penis.

(everyone laughs)

Shark penis.

- But non-sex penis I'm an expert.

(Felicia laughs)

- Okay Rhett, what percentage of birds don't have a penis?

- 3% of bird species have penises,

and 97% don't have penises.

- They have cloaca.

- Yeah, it's actually like an evolutionary mystery.

- I thought it was cloaca.

- I think - I'm from Alabama.

(male laughs)

- Yeah, I trust Felicia on this.

- That's deeper south than us, girl.

- Yep.

- But their ancestors all had penises.

It was penises everywhere,

and then most of them lost their penises,

and so you know, watch out, watch out birds.

Watch out the 3% of birds that still have penises.

Stand strong!

- We have some (everyone laughs)

astronaut ice cream that we're gonna sample here.

- Yeah. - Okay.

- Um, so, we're gonna come back to this neopolitan,

and we're gonna, - That's, that's fancy.

- We're gonna start off with some cosmic brand,

not a sponsor, ice cream for adventure.

We each get one of these.

- Wait, are these the actual kinds that they take,

or these are just like brands of

- This is people that just

- This is marketing.

- Rip it off? - First of all,

- Okay. - they don't actually,

- I don't know.

- they don't eat any of this.

- They don't eat ice cream?

- Astronauts don't eat. - Nah, nah, nah.

- They don't eat up there at all?

- No, they just wait until they get back.

They got work to do.

- That's not right.

- No, I'm so busy, I just forget to eat.

- Oh, look at that.

- This looks delicious.

- Whoo!

- Oh, it looks good.

I love cookies and cream, mm.

- Now it's just for camping, and stuff.

(paper rustling)

- Yup.

This is for driving around, or at L.A. traffic.

Here we go.

- I mean, it, it doesn't really seem like ice cream

at all, to me.

- Oh, it's good! - It just kinda,

- It's kinda like, you know, that honeycomb stuff

you get in Britain?

The honeycomb candy?

- I've only been once.

- You've only been once?

- Yeah, recently and we didn't eat that.

- What did you do there?

- Speaking of slugs.

We ate at a place called Slug & Lettuce,

which was the worst meal I've ever had in my entire life.

(crowd laughing)

- Um,

- I mean, not surprising, but what,

- No.

- I heard that the candy was good.

- The candy there is really good.

- Is this fall in that category?

- They have this honeycomb, I can't remember the name

of the brand, but it's like a golden spun sugar,

and it's crunchy like this.

This is delicious.

- But, I don't consider this ice cream.

- I mean,

- Well, yeah, 'cause it's dehydrated, man.

- If I was in space I might consider this ice cream.

- There's cream, sugar, skim milk, wheat flour,

so not gluten free, alkalized cocoa, sunflower oil,

chocolate liquor, liqueur, vanilla, sea salt, guar gum,

- Oh guar gum - Now were getting

to the great stuff.

That's the thing that you're tasting.

Guar gum.

- Yep. - Yeah.

- Now don't eat the whole thing,

'cause we have others to sample.

- Okay, bye bye.

- Um, and you know what?

For the sake of preserving these

for the Mythical team to try later,

- Yeah, don't open all three.

- Let's just, let's just, - Yeah.

- let's just all eat from this one.

Ice cream for adventure, number two,

organic double chocolate chip.

- Mm.

- Okay, well.

I mean, - So, who would eat this?

Like what is the occasion that you would eat this?

- It's backpackers.

It's people who want - Break.

- a lightweight - Oh, too much.

- A lightweight meal.

- Oh, you can split that.

- You ever, like, gone out into the

(ice cream snapping)

wilderness looking for a Bigfoot and his two penises

(Felicia laughs)

and, you've got like,

- Ahem, yet

- You want to pack everything that you're eating

on your back, you need things that don't have water content.

- I've only, I've only, I've only hiked once in my life.

(ice cream crunching)

- Where'd you go? - Really?

- I was in Honduras, and I climbed Mount Celaque,

- Okay. - which is like the highest

Mountain in Honduras, and it has a cloud forest at the top,

but we only had one day to do it,

- Oh.

- So we just like ran up top and then came back down,

and I had to - Was that a bad experience?

- I had to poop in the woods,

and I felt the indignity was too much for me

to ever bear again, so I've never hiked, again.

(crowd laughing) - Wow.

- Oh, really? - Yeah.

- What'd you wipe with?

- I mean, I brought toilet paper,

but then you gotta bring the toilet paper with you,

so I brought a bag, I researched--

- Just for a day hike?

- Well, if you gotta go, you gotta go, man!

- I've never taken toilet paper on a day hike.

That's pretty awesome.

- What are you gonna do?

You just like free ball it?

(Rhett laughs)

- I just wait until I get back down. (snickers)

- To wipe? - It's a day hike.

- You just hold it.

- You can't do that to your colon, man.

(female laughs)

- Well, I got lots of problems,

(all laughing)

and that's the least of them.

- Yes, I think he has.

- Holding my poop for, - This,

- Well, he's got two colons.

- (laughs) You got two colons?

- Yeah. - So, we're look,

- He's from Bigfoot. - Oh look, there we go.

Highest peak in Honduras. - So you climbed,

So, what on this, where on this picture did you poop?

- Um, (laughs), probably around midpoint.

Uh, you know, - You were going up,

or coming down? - Eight o'clock?

Eight o'clock, going up.

- Oh, yeah.

- I'm a morning pooper, - Yeah.

- so around eight o'clock (crowd laughs)

and, uh - We on the sunny side?

- Sunny side.

It was sunny, yeah.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You don't wanna go on the dark side. (laughs)

- (laughs) You don't want to go poop on the dark side.

(crowd laughs)

- Well, you always wanna poop down mountain.

- Yeah. - Oh, yeah.

You wanna face, yeah.

- So it's like - You want the gravity not,

you don't want the gravity go under.

Yeah, that just-- - 'Cause it will roll.

- This is good. It's fun.

(crowd laughs)

- Okay, um (pouch thuds)

next we have, (pouch thuds)

ice cream for adventure, number three.

- Are you sure you're not sponsored by them,

'cause we're doing all - mint chocolate chip.

- the different flavors.

Yeah, okay. (laughs)

- Yeah, why are we doing the one brand.

- We just said that so we don't

have to share the money with you.

- Oh, okay. (Rhett laughs)

- No, we're not sponsored by them.

- Yeah.

- Oh, look at that.

- I really like their packaging, not sponsored by.

What, what is the - Break it.

- What is the flavor here?

(ice cream snapping)

- Mint chocolate chip.

- You gonna have that whole thing?


(ice cream snapping)

- I mean, the reason why this isn't a sponsor,

is 'cause I don't like it, and I'm saying that.

(Felicia laughs) (crowd laughs)

- It wouldn't be something, - It's just,

- I would ever want to eat.

- Unless I were in space, I guess.

They get desperate up there.

- It's okay. - It doesn't taste like

you're eating ice cream.

It tastes like you ate ice cream.

(crowd laughs)

You know what I'm saying?

Like, think about it.

When your done eating it, you're like--

- Have you ever had - I just had ice cream.

- Yeah. (laughs)

- What's the, uh, what's the stuff that

tastes like ice cream, but it's not.

It's made out of cream.

- Yogurt.

- No, that's not what I'm thinking about.

- Gellato.

- Semifreddo, Semifreddo!

- Never had that either.

- Never been to Honduras. - Dude.

- No, that's pasta.

- Never pooped on a mountain.

- You've never pooped on a mountain?

You just hold it in the whole time?

- I've pooped in the desert.

- Alright. - Neapolitan.

- You're supposed to bury it six inches.

- Did you?

(package tearing) - Oh yeah.

- Yeah, I've pooped in the desert.

- Oh look, this one has another wrapper.

- Oo!

- This is a different brand.

This is--

- I marked the location with my phone, though,

(crowd laughed)

so I can return to it at anytime.

- Is it like, uh, geocaching with your poop? (laughs)

- I wanna see, if like, a cactus has grown out of it.

(everyone laughs)

- Or a beanstalk.

- That's my poop cactus.

(Felicia and Rhett laughing)

- A beanstalk.

A magic beanstalk.

- Oh, that's a - climbed a poop stalk

to the, oh, look at that guys.

- That's beautiful. - That's a whole,

ice cream sandwich.

- And look, - That's selling itself.

- Let's do it, who wants strawberry?

- I want strawberry.

- There it is.

- Yeah, I'll have strawberry.


- Who wants vanilla.

- I'll take vanilla.

- How's that?

- What does that leave you with?

- Chocolate, chocolate.

- It leaves me with chocolate.

- It's a pale chocolate, though.

That doesn't look good.

- I don't like biting ice cream

- Oh. - When it's bonafide frozen.

- Oo, that's, - This is better.

- It is a little crispier, but the

artificial strawberry flavor is turning me off.

- The interesting thing is, - Really?

I like that - I also don't like

biting this, for like a similar reason.

Something about the texture of it.

- It's very hard, - You don't like biting it?

- It feels, yeah.

It's very hard.

It feels like your gonna, like, chip a tooth.

- It's so satisfying to bite.

- I recommend, just putting it in your mouth,

instead of chewing it, just--

- Let it dissolve.

- Let your saliva just infiltrate it.

- I think the cookie, the cookie really makes this one,

over the other one.

- Mm-hmm.

- Semifreddo, - Okay, thank you.

- Is a class of semi-frozen desserts.

- Desert. - It's so good.

It's like warm ice cream in your mouth,

but it's like the texture of frozen mousse, you know.

It's like an ice cream cake, but warm inside.

- Wow.

- It messes with your brain, man.

- It's an ice cream, I love,

ice cream cakes my favorite cake.

- You gotta have a semifreddo!

That's the fancy, that's where Carvel stole it from.

Not true.

- But it's warm?

- It feels warm in your mouth.

- Semi-frozen,

- Is it like fried ice cream, from Chi-Chis?

- No, no, oh boy.

- Okay, so this is just, - Okay

- Now all of a sudden, we're just eating,

- These are good.

- we're just eating bananas and strawberries.

This isn't ice cream at all.

This is a different theme, guys.

- Oh, we've moved to a different part of the box. (laughs)

- Anybody want this?

- The endless box of frozen items.

- Here.

- There's just gonna be a small child in there.

We're gonna have to eat that small child. (laughs)

(upbeat music) - Probably.

- This is what the astronauts eat.

- Probably, okay.

Do they really eat this?

- Yeah, yeah.

- You don't know.

- Oh.

- It says official.

- I've got a few astronaut friends,

but I'm not at liberty to reveal their names.

Our stories are now wearable.

Check out Post-Apawcalypse,

a mythical storywear collection, now at

The Description of Astronaut Ice Cream Taste Test