Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Deep Cuts: Hasan and Ilana Glazer Discuss Abortion Laws | Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj | Netflix

I, like, learned this, whatever, statistic:

like, less than 25% of the people

in Alabama think this is a good idea.

Because they’re like,

“Abortion is healthcare for women.”

So why is it coming into play?

Because those 25 white men and that one white woman

decide – the governor and the 25, like - eeeh – they’re, like, grinning.

It’s so scary.

I’m like, “Why are you smiling?”

You know what I mean? Um, you are evil. You don’t get to smile.

So...

You know Mitch McConnell smiles, though, right?

I don’t– I don’t think so.

I mean, he works at it.

No. No.

He pulls strings and...

Yeah – yeah!

“What are you interested in that most people aren’t?”

I would say...the Sacramento Kings.

Are you a–

Are you a Kings fan?

Or are you an Aggies fan?

Alright, alright.

So you’re a Warriors fan.

Booooo! Boooo!

I’m joking, I’m joking, I’m joking.

Go Aggies, man. Go Aggies.

Did you just graduate?

That’s great.

Go Berkeley?

This is like a UC fight.

“What is some solid advice that has stuck with you over time?”

Actually the best piece of advice I got was from Tan France.

Uh, and he told me,

he made me try on all these ridiculous outfits,

and I told him I wasn’t feeling confident in them,

and he was like,

“Just be confident and it’ll work.”

So,

maybe one of these days I’m gonna come out in a crop top.

Maybe it’ll work. Alright.

“What is the most unbelievable New York experience

that has ever happened to you?”

Umm...

you know what,

I’ve talked about his a lot before.

I think

I should just bring out

the most quintessential New Yorker

and see what she thinks.

Everyone give it up for Ilana Glazer.

Ilana Glazer!

It’s Ilana Glazer!

Ilana Glazer!

I just got makeup on your hoodie. - Did you?

For when, my pickups?

I got makeup on your hoodie.

Oh nooo.

Yeah.

It’s ruining the rest of the show. The show’s over.

Remember those old R&B videos we would watch

when we were like growing up?

There was always that scene in the video where like

the boyfriend comes home and there’s makeup on the–

Yes! And the girl’s like, “Ughh!”

Or whatever, and it’s, like,

so typical and it’s also like

who’s getting kissed on their clothes?

Right, right, right.

You know what I mean? Like it’s on your

face or body, and then you

wipe it off, or whatever. I don’t know.

- Um, what– - It’s like they wanna get caught,

that’s my thing.

What is your most quintessential New York experience?

Um,

this, okay.

This is like so gross.

And this was, I’m like 30–

sooo gross.

I’m 32. This was maybe like eleven years ago. So like

I’m not the same.

Yes I am!

No, I’m not.

Um,

but I once, okay, me and my friend, um,

were uh-

We went, we had this–

there was this like

country night in South Slope.

And we went to South Slope and we, like, got–

my friend John Mayer,

but his name is Jonathan Mayer it’s not John Mayer,

which sucks.

Ilana’s like,

“I hate people that are problematic.

My friend John Mayer…”

Jonathan. Jonathan Mayer.

Jonathan, Jonathan, Jonathan.

–which sucked for him in college.

But umm, so John and I like went–

we go to country night, and we get so drunk, and we’re like,

so gross, we’re like, we’re

peeing between cars.

And we’re like, you know, smokin’ like in a nook or whatever.

- Ohhh. - We get, like, so–

- we’re such idiots– - Yeah.

And we think we’re invincible because we’re like 21 or whatever.

And um, we go on the train,

and the train is coming every like

45 minutes or whatever?

And so we’re on the train,

and I was like staying over,

and I had my bag with all my shit, and

John is like *gags*

and I was like, “Oh no.”

And he’s like *gags*.

And I was like, “Ohh fuck.”

And we, like, get to the station

and he runs out and pukes all over the platform,

and I run out to help him,

and then the doors close and the train takes off,

and my purse was in the traaaaain!

Sucked.

But it was also fine. I called my mom and I was like, “Mom…”

And she was like,

“You idiot. I thought someone, like, died.

Who cares? We’ll go to the DMV. What are you, an idiot?

Don’t scare me!”

Which is true, it’s like, it’s not that–

- not that, um– - Does Jonathan remember that night?

Yeah. Oh yeah. We laugh about it.

Was it one of those nights

you know like when you go down to the train

and it’s like super balmy, and it’s like, gross?

- Yeah. It was like a summer night. - Ughhhh!

- Balmy. - Ughhhhh.

- And like, yeah. - Piping hot puke.

And you like smelled his puke that night.

- You know what I mean? - Ughhhhhhh!

It was bad.

Um, are you on tour right now?

So, um...no.

But you’re about to go on tour?

Yeah. I just, um, I finished...

I’m like having such a crazy time right now.

Broad City ended.

Which was...

a really good show!

My favorite show.

Um, and then I did this, um, film.

I shot this film that I wrote with my friend.

And we just like have been writing it for so long,

I can’t believe it’s shot now.

And then I’m going on tour and doing a special.

Why is it called “The World is Burning?”

- It’s “The Earth is Burning,” right? - Okay.

- “The Planet is Burning.” - Okay.

Um,

because it is.

And I think it bears repeating,

until anybody gives a shit.

You know what I mean? Like why are we not talking about it all—

- I can curse, right? - Yeah.

Why are we not talking about it all the fucking time?

It’s like, so scary and what? You know?

I just, like–

It’s like–

You know, it’s like hard to–

Sometimes I’m, like, good on Instagram

and then other times I’m, like,

“Peace, Instagram. I can’t right now.”

You know what I mean?

But I’m like, if I’m going to, like, hashtag

shit and, like, post all the time –

like, okay, I gotta do something that I’m like–

bears repeating.

Have you been vocal about

everything that’s going on in Alabama and Georgia?

I haven’t. I’m gonna just be–

- I like haven’t– - Really?

Yeah, no. I’m, like, paralyzed in

fear and depression over it

and I haven’t been, like, totally vocal about it because I’m like

“uuuh…”

I, like, go to post and I’m like, “uuuh….” you know?

I’m just like, this is so scary.

I watched only the first season of Handmaid’s Tale.

After it I couldn’t bear it,

you know what I mean?

And now I’m like…..

...you know.

And, you know, it’s like I say this from this

privileged position of someone who…

I can get an abortion if I need one, and like,

you know, I’m married and we talk about kids.

Like I…

we would figure it out if we did,

- you know what I mean? - Right.

I was a nerd in high school so I didn’t have sex.

So it wasn’t, like, you know what I mean?

It wasn’t, like, an issue.

- And I’m just, like– - Yeah, yeah.

It’s such a– just a thing that happens and people get –

women get – abortions anyway,

even if they’re banned

and this is just making it dangerous

for women who are already alive

versus fetuses who are not yet alive.

I’m like,

you know. It’s just, um, it’s so–

I haven’t been vocal about it yet ‘cause I am just, um,

I’m pretty paralyzed.

But you were pretty vocal about, like, voter registration.

Like, you’ve been very…

Yeah, that’s, like–

Yeah. With voting I’m like,

“I… Why is it so hard? I’m, like… smart.

So, like, why is it hard? Why is hard for me to vote?”

Like, where… I don’t know, like, where–

I– I– I’m, like,

researching and like a part-time job figuring out how to vote,

who I’m voting for, what I’m voting for and

it’s such trash that our system is not like,

“Voting is dope! Here’s how you do it!”

- You know what I mean? - Right, right right.

So I was just, kind of, sharing what I was learning.

So, what’s the move? Like, with everything–

I just wanted to ask you

with everything that’s happening right now–

A lot of times, something awful will happen and I’m–

I’ll hit, like, oh Paypal Yellow Fund –

there we go! Like, that’ll solve something.

What is the move?

Do you think what’s happening right now

in Alabama and Georgia is, like,

part of a larger trend or it’s an isolated incident in those –

I think it’s definitely part of a larger trend.

Uh huh.

Um,

I think the move is definitely –

if you have the money, give it.

Immediately.

Because money works and is, how our, like,

world works. And it’s, like,

“Yeah, I wish I wasn’t, like, sending money for this.”

But this is what the situation is.

So, yeah, that is also the move.

Um, I also think the move is, um…

You know, it’s not like, people–

I, like, learned this, whatever, statistic:

like, less than 25% of the people in Alabama

think this is a good idea.

Because they’re like,

abortion is healthcare for women.

So why is it coming into play?

Because those 25 white men and that one white woman

decide – the governor and the 25, like - eeeh – they’re, like, grinning.

It’s so scary.

I’m like, “Why are you smiling?”

You know what I mean?

Um, you are evil. You don’t get to smile.

So...

You know Mitch McConnell smiles, though, right?

I don’t– I don’t think so.

I mean, he works at it.

No. No.

He pulls strings and...

Yeah – yeah!

I mean, that, yeah,

but he doesn’t have the muscles.

His muscles–

The muscles have atrophied and he can’t–

But, no, I believe the strings are pulled for sure.

But, um, I think the move is to use -

Like, the system that we have in place is just being raped.

But the system is pretty dope,

so I think the move is to focus on the primaries in June.

So that the people–

That we can, like, eventually vote for the people

who will not take away women’s healthcare.

A lot of people’s– yeah.

It sucks.

- It sucks so bad. - As artists,

do you know a lot of people are writing about–

People are publicly posting,

“I’m not gonna shoot my movie in Georgia.”

- “I’m not gonna do this in Alabama. - Yeah.

I’m not gonna bring work there.”

I’m– I– I feel a little conflicted about that.

Well it sucks ‘cause, like, the people of Atlanta are like

stoked and they’re, like, hustlin’ and like, the town –

you know, the city is just groovin’ on making

so much stuff. But,

I have a movie that I’m, like, putting together and

my director, like, sent me this,

you know, before it, like, came out –

I don’t know, before I saw it in the news, she sent me this thing:

“We should move our movie from Atlanta

to New Orleans or just to New York…”

I’m like, “I don’t want to shoot there.”

Like, doing a movie in any place –

or, you know, film and TV is, like,

such a huge advertisement for the city and

for the state that it’s in and

I just don’t want to be there and support it,

but it sucks because like, there are people there –

75% of the people – are down for this

“durr, obvious,

should-be-paid-for-by-the- government healthcare.”

So it like sucks to, like, punish those people

but I guess you have to–

you have to make a move to make a statement.

Yeah, it’s interesting.

You know, like, I know the NBA very actively –

with the bathroom bill stuff –

was just like, “Hey, we’re not gonna,

you know, participate. Or we’re not gonna endorse this.”

Wow. That is so cool.

Yeah. Adam Silver’s a great commissioner.

Eddie, didn’t Adam Silver do that?

Remember with the—

when the Bathroom Bill happened, was it–

it was in North Carolina, right?

The All-Star Game, right?

And they threatened to–

–to pull the All-Star Game.

That is so cool.

Yeah. And so they ended up delaying it, right?

Adam is the commissioner, was like,

“Hey, we don’t stand for this.”

But I’ve oftentimes thought

as artists, do we just bring the work there?

Do we try to change the culture there, from–

‘Cause I know there’s people on the ground

that would, like,

want us to be there.

That would be, like, “I would love for Ilana Glazer to be there.

I would love for Hasan Minhaj to come shoot his show there.”

It would– you know what I mean?

It could be, like, a lightning rod moment.

So, I’m caught between this thing of like,

hey, do you... do you...

Yeah, but then the governor gets to be like,

“All these cool movies are shooting here!”

And it’s like, “No we’re not, bitch. Like, no we’re not.”

Like, you suck. You fucked it up.

And now you don’t get to party.

You know what I mean? Like.

You know? Like…

People who, like, are racist and misogynist

- party poorly. - Right.

- And it’s like– - Uh huh.

[Laughs], “party poorly.”

And I’m like, “You either earn partying with us

by being cool and not fucking women over,

or brown people over, or black people over,

- whatever it is.” - Right.

“Or you don’t get to, like, have the movie there.

- Or whatever.” - So what you’re trying to say…

I think–

I think what you’re trying to say

the NFL throws the worst parties, then?

Yeah. I mean,

if I watched I would be like, “Yeah!” but…

I like their like costumes but I don’t know much beyond…

Cos– you mean the jerseys?

The jerseys?

- Their costumes are great! - No, the shorts.

No, I like the shorts in football, not the jerseys.

- The shorts...? - The, like, tight, shiny-ass,

like, shorts.

I like their shorts ‘cause you, like, see their butts

and like legs and stuff. They’re–

In football,

- don’t they wear, like– - Yeah, they’re like, tights.

They’re not, I mean – sure.

Tights…?

What are – Eddie, what are they?

They’re, like, compression pants that go to your knees, right?

I’m being, like, so technical, like I’m a football player.

- Like 165 pounds. - “Compression!”

They’re compression pants.

- I’m an athlete. You guys get it. - He knows. Yeah, he knows.

Does anyone have a question for Ilana?

This is the funnest part, like, this is why I love doing this.

Thank you.

My favorite thing to do in the city is to, um,

get a little high and take a walk.

Ilana Glazer everybody!