Practice English Speaking&Listening with: PAINTING MYSELF | Passpartout #2

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Bonjour mon petit ami ! ( Hello my little friend )

and welcome back to

"Passpartout, The Starving Artist." Last time I painted

oh, très magnifique portraits of lots of different things.

Do I have to start from beginning?

Please do not tell me this. Do not speak this to my ears!

I... do not have to start from the start because my little starfish man is already here!

You better buy it Mr. Baguette.

Don't worry. *stops being french* "I liked you before you were cool"

*starts being french again* Are you trying to be little hipster?

Are you trying to be a hipster to my ears right now?

I do not want to fucking hear it.

Okay. We are going to draw tiny little face. I am going to draw.

Here we go. Here we go, there we go.

Very nice start!

Very nice indeed...

Yes, here we go.

Here we go.

I am a big fan of the Homer Simpson.

A *big* fan indeeed!

Oh, le petit Homer (Homer with a french accent)

This maybe not so much.

"This here is conformist crap!"

You realize that everything is conformist crap then?!

You realize that your outfit is not as fucking cool as you think it is!?

The FUCK out of my art gallery!

Think I wanna be seein your shit?

ALL UP IN MY FACE?!

Okay...

I'm sorry. Now that that fucking horseshit is gone...

Let's get back to drawing, uhh

le petit Homer !

Uhhh...

There's an ear. Haha!!!

Yesss.

And I have to give him his little, uhhh

bullshit going on over here, um.

*laughs*

"Seems to be just a few fields of color",

George R.R Martin!

Can you fucking get back to writing Game of Thrones? I mean, I don't read it

I watch it, but I know a lot of people are excited about it, Georgie!

WHERE THE FUCK IS IT GEORGIE?

Hey, piece of fucking shit, get out of my face.

There we go!

Really, should-

MY ISSUE...

with drawing is that I start with fucking top layers first,

and then it ends up looking shit.

I should have just done the bottom yellow layer first, but look at my artist go.

Look at my artist in the background you see what they're doing? You see what they're doing?

They're being fucking amazing right now.

Okay, we can always do the eyes again after if it looks shit.

It doesn't look shit!

It looks amazing!

Gonna have to do the hair again, though!

My little homie-o!

Uhhhmmmm.

"Originality ain't worth my dosh!"

Yeah, well my paintings ain't worth your time.

Can you- can you leave? Can you leave?

Ah ha! Yes, mon petit Homer

OI, LOOK AT- TRES MAGNIFIQUE!

Uh, I'm going to call this one...

"Hompson"

Homer Simpson.

Hompson, that's what I'm gonna call it.

Ahh, back to my easel.

Back to my drawing~!

Ummm...

Wait, I wanna draw me.

For a change.

How do you draw a Jack?

A milky base!

A milky round ball base.

164!

What does this one do?

"This artist seems to know their craft."

Yeah, better than you do Steve.

Uhh, I don't know what this is.

*Jack thinking time*

Oh, I got more out of 'em! Yes!

"Bills inbound!"

"Gosh, it's just so unoriginal, isn't it?"

*weird crying occurs*

I'm trying my best!

My parents put me through fucking college.

Okay, that's the start of a little jackaboy.

Cause I'm a little round head!

:D

:)

That's- that's me. All over. Ummm...

We'll- we'll do my eyes.

There we go.

*cute Jack laugh*

Yess. And I'm gonna give myself like-

Oh god, no. Can I erase that??

"Bills paid!"

I have 427 left!

I am AMAZING.

I am amazing! ♪

Ummm.

I want to fix this. That looks shit- Okay, those are my fucking eyes apparently... "I only pay for secondhand art." Then..

If I drew it with my other hand would you appreciate it then? This is my first hand, this is my second hand.

I'll draw it with my foot next time. Maybe then you'll appreciate that shit! GETOUTTA my fucking face.. these people. There's my nose.

Ummmm...

Here's my mouth. "Unoriginal - originality aint worth my dosh!"

You were just here. You just came here five minutes ago! Okay, teeth...

Oh nooo...*laughs* It's ok. It doesn't look like me right now! Look at my guy in the background.

*imitates his guy*

That's ART. That doesn't look like me right now, but it's about to. Shit's about to go off. "Is this is a child's drawing?"

Yes, actually. It is. My child drew that, for you.

And YOU didn't appreciate it. So what, you want me to go back and tell Sophie that...

Somebody- some pretentious nutjob with a fucking stupid beard didn't want her painting.

I mean, she's gonna have to learn the rules of life sooner or later, anyway. There we go. That's a perfect one. And there's my neck.

We'll call this... I got a perfect name for this! Perfect

name!!

Le Jacques...

NooooOOO!

The fuck out here... Septique. *laughs* There we go, Le Jacques Septique!

Oh mon petit septiceye, oh le petit oiseau ( the little Septiceye , oh the little bird ) I dunno what the fuck I'm saying. *cute laugh*

Okay, what am I drawing next? I've fuckin' no idea. Ah- no.

Ah- no... 226... You can go higher, George!

Oh, shit, no you can't.

Ahhhhh-ha-hum...

Okay, I'll take the 220- I coulda got 258 outta him!

But you know what, that was too much. That was too much for me. Can I delete this fucking thing or something?

I don't know- right...

Next on the chopping block. I'm drawing a beach.

Here we go- here we got some sand... *laughs* I fuckin love the chacter animation in the background. *weird noises indicating fast movement*

Ah, yes, and then we are going to have... one of these...

That's the sand, and this is the ocean foam!

The seafoam, the ocean splish splash, I was taking a bath, go fuck yourself.

CAN you guys stop- "effortless," again. Thanks George.

Probably comes across as, uh, an insult, but I'm just going to take it as a compliment because I've low self-esteem.

*inhales deeply* Uhhhhg why's my art not selling?

If I just put a little more time and effort into it, maybe it would.

Do you know what, I don't have to pluh- I don't have to please these pretentious douchebags. These guys are just FUCKS.

Just big old fuck doos! Here we go, that's a sun.

At least it's supposed to be. See, this is what sells it as a sun. "This fella has no energy."

"Boring." How fucking dare you! Do you know who you're talking to? It's Jack. I'm nothing BUT energy. It's all I have!

Just give it to me! I wanna draw some little birds...

*whoop... whoop*

Yeah...

Now, if you came to me and asked if a child drew THIS one, then... yeah.

I'd probably give you that one because THIS...

is a little bit shit. "I liked you before you were cool." Can you stop saying the same fucking things over and over again?

This is an umbrella. Okay, it doesn't look like one, probably because I don't know what I'm doing, but there.

Whatever... Fuck this. We'll call this one, ummmmm... Call this one Tranquility.

I like that.

"Experience Tranquility." I've no idea what else to draw!

Maybe I should draw what I was drawin' the last time. "I only pay for secondhand art." BITCHBITCH

THe fuck outta here! I don't need your shit!

No, one does! No one cares about you, Benjamin! Go home to your cat.

Okay, we're gonna draw Mario again. Well, you know I started fucking to draw video game characters the last time... "Please make something original."

Really wish- this is a blemish on my art career. Really wish I could just get rid of that one.

Maybe I can, I just haven't tried properly... Um, what else comes from Mario? His hat....

Okay, there- there's Mario's hat. "I want to see more focus on the craft." LOOK HOW MUCH COLORS ARE IN THAT!

Somebody was saying, as well that the more time you spend making your drawings...

the better people react to them. So I don't know how true that is- I forget what Mario looks like.

"Bills in-bound?" OHNO

Every artist's worst nightmare: bills!

*laughs* I'm gonna draw some sort of weird like, Rick and Morty or

Southpark... type of dude.

*laughs* Ummmmmm...

Right, and you have tiny a little bit of black hair at the sides...

Yes, so we'll see. I'm spending a little more time on this one,

but I don't know if it's because the game recognizes faces, or that just looks good.

I still have a shit-ton of money left. That's amazing! I can't give you a nose- well I could give you...

I could do that so it kind of looks like there's a nose there? And then maybe I could draw under it... Oh wait.

No, your mustache is brown, isn't it?

Because you have to be some sort of freak like that for some reason. And he's got little notches on his mustache like that.

Yes, and now we do this, watch this! This is how you create depth. See that?

We made a nose from nothing! That is le perfect art! That is how you draw!

You just get in there- depth, shading, shapes. It's all part of my craft.

Can somebody please just buy my pictures? I would really fucking like that. It would help me out a lot if you would buy my picture.

You motherfucker... "Just in it for the cash?"

Well, that's what the game is about, like drawing pictures for cash, so... To some degree, yeah.

You guys did it for the harassment!

Cause that's all I'm getting for it. This is a shadow, by the way.

Going across the top of the cap. Don't know, it might have ruined it.

But... we'll fuckin' roll with it. My guy is doin a hippity hop in the background, and I'm happy! "I wanted more radical colors."

Maggie.

You're fucking bustin' my balls here Maggie!

There! It's a-me, a-Mario!

A-FUCKIN A-WAHOO

He's going to have like a tiny little mouth over here. Ah-uh, let me draw over that again...

But I have to give him teeth.

I like these types of teeth.

They look silly! *laughing*

AW! He looks like a South park character! I love it!

This is fun!

Some of your mustache is coming down into that... I guess. Maybe. That doesn't look right, but whatever! *laughs*

Mario YES! I probably should put some stuff in the background.

I'm gonna call this one Luigi- just to fuck with people. Cause maybe some people don't want to buy a Mario.

Maybe they like Luigi more. I don't know. Do I know the art... critics?

Wait, can I delete these?

Can I do something with these?

Oh, I can trash them! Yes! Yes, that's good.

Oh! GET OUT OF MY fuckin' WAY Maggie! "You made a painting mate, but you didn't make art."

I solicited a reaction out of you. I got *something* out of you. That's worthy of success.

Oh, I downloaded the picture. Oh, ummmm.

"BUY ME FOR CHEAP."

Maybe if I change the name of it, they'll get like...

Really discouraged or something. Okay. I don't know what to draw. I'm hitting the fucking wall here. OK, I'm gonna draw a bear!

"I don't like these colors." Well, maybe you're just dead inside Maggie and you don't like most things.

Did ya ever think about that? Actually we should give a background first.

"This artist seems to know their craft." Thank you Steve, but I'm we're try and leech a bit more out of you for this

Quit while I'm ahead they offer 280 went up to 277 it scared me, okay?

LUIGI SOLD FOR 277 "someone important is planning to visit soon." Oh

No, it might be my mother okay, okay? I'm drawing a bear and it's going to be

adorable

AF FAM

It's already adorable. I love this right. How does the bear look? "not crazy enough" Well?

We can't all be like your father cynthia

Fuck's sake not all of us can leave when you were born and

then like

this

(laughs) he's so fucking cute. I'm gonna give you a little shines in your eyes

Cuz you're like a little button bear

You know what I mean yeah, I don't like your mouth though

It looks weird. I'm gonna have to redo this let me let me redo this

we go oh

That's cute. I don't know what else to add to this um maybe like boop and boop

No

I like thiiiis I'm having fun

"Too dull" again Cynthia we can't all be like your father

Jesus um

Right what else would a bear have?

Would a bear have a smile? No 'cause this is technically his mouth. I don't know what to do now

Let me redo this ... maybe the longer I spend on it, the more people will like me

Maybe? I'll give you a little nose like that, and a little, like, wry smile

Across the side like hey hey yeah, yeah

I'm gonna give you those weird teeth again because I like them so very very much, they add so much personality oh

*French* EN PERSONNALITÉ ( with personnality )

Do you like my little bear?

And Georgie, Georgie put an advise, do you like my tiny little bear?

I don't know. Maybe if I look for bear face I can make it look a little better.

OH mon DIEU I have not even drawn le petit penis!!! ( Oh my God I have not draw the little dick )

How could I have been so silly?

All this time I've been so silly didn't draw Willy

Why why what is wrong with me am I really Jacques? Am I really Le Jacques Septique? I don't know what the fuck this is anymore!

"Sellout."I wish I was, at least then my stuff would actually be selling out

Right now there're not sellin at all. You can just call me a... Not sell

Okay guys you don't need to make the fucking vomit sounds when you show up

It's very disrespectful to me and my craft.

I'll make your ears look even cuter. The ears are my favorite part of this

the only thing that (imitates vomiting noise)

That's what your wife sounded like after you came. (Laughing) Oh no, that's so sad!

Yeah, take that bitch get roasted! Right, this is done. I'm gonna call it the " not so care bear"

Perfect now this one

This one this one this one... needs to be dumped. I can't I can't anymore okay

No one's buying it. Oh, I know what to draw!. Well actually, I know exactly what to draw right now

cause I said I was going to

Okay, let's just do this...Here we go, nice.

Nice... *laughing*

That looked way too good! (laughing)

Fuck. NO, why are dicks always funny. WWHY (laughing)

Oh shit...

Well, you got a little drippy dick!

If it looks like that, you gotta look: see... This is what Steve looked like that time. Making fun of him, fuck that guy

This is kind of the hair you know

Oh shit, that's not good, can I have different brush shapes or something at least?

"I Want carefully crafted paintings!" OH steve you're in for a fucking hum dinger next

Ok I made the balls look stupid. The balls look stupid. I thought that that would actually make them look amazing

What if I do this over it?

No see, still got that circle shape, I don't want it to look too circly

If you know what I mean, you know what I mean dog? You pick up on a button-down. Let's just go with this instead

This always just looks amazing. I got in trouble in school one time for drawing a penis like this

the teacher caught me doing it and she wanted to know what it was and

After she spoke... because she saw me and my friends laughing at it

So she made me go into the principal with it, and then I had to go home and get it signed by my parents.

So you could technically say that my parents signed my dick.

But it was my... it was my school dick

You know there's difference... BUY MY BEAR! Over here, I'm drawing

someone

just like

Someone's like shocked at the penis - they're just like... I forgot to draw their head, but you don't need a head

What do you look like with teeth?

ha ha ha ha ha ha

amazing OOOOOH

That's nice penis

um

What should I call you? Le Petit

Penoit

Le Petit Penois, oh oui, oui, le Petit Penois please buy it please buy it please buy it

337! 360! Oh! I had to get to 361 cuz that's enough for a noscope

Haha, is that my highest selling one so far?

Well something else went higher and I think I ended up paying lower for...I fucked it up or someth- it's fucking funny

Ok I'm a draw more simpsons characters. These guys, Simpsons, are awesome. That was my childhood

Um ok let's draw bars. Just like Bart

Hey, you see that picture. It's just like Bart.

What does Bart looks like? Well first of all you gotta get his hair, right?

There you go, oh

Just like Bart! I went into the store and

I was like hey. Have you got any simpsons paraphernalia?

And some guy showed me this picture, and you know what I said, just like Bart. Like so to... So totally don't have a cow man

It's cool. It's whatever.

Hay Caramba Cowabunga you know oh

Okay, I'm gonna have to put some colors in the background. I probably should have done that first

Just okay, I could ah...

I should just start over. Fuck!

Maybe if I start over the people would be like oh, it's taking a lot of time to do this one

I just need background, I keep forgetting to do the backgrounds because I'm so focused on my craft.

I'm dedicated as fuck

Okay, that's a better head

That's a better head for the part, for the little bartholomew Jay Simpson

okay, and

That's your shirt

perfect

Cowabunga eat my shorts. Is Bart's hair real?

You think that's actually his thing... is that my character scoffing?

My scoffing at myself at my fat Bart

I'm just going to do some clouds

Spray spray Spray, whatever spray there we go.

Okay, you're gonna be called Bort Samsonite.

Come along Bort. I'm sorry were you talking to me? No? My son is also called Bort... HO

Is that the dude from Ratatouille?

Hmm. I see ... No way, you had to come and look at that fucking one!

Excelsior! Not so care Bear by Passpartout

It is only recently that I heard of Passpartout, a quirky young artist with a passion for

Societal and Justice as I walked down the Crime Stricken alley I

embraced the air of struggle before being entrance by the piece of the table entranced sorry I'm new to

newspapers

From a distance I was struck with the energy PWAAAAH

Like that as I approached the piece, my heart fluttered with excitement... Could have been a stroke. I don't know I

I had cheeseburgers for dinner and as I came closer it ushered in a sense of mirth

upon closer inspection the intriguing details of alabaster contrasted by the profusion of Brown

Reminded me of myself when I was covered in shit that one time

The use of Brown Truly shows the primal essence of nature. All in all, Not so care Bear is a good effort

Passpartout has a lot of potential and I can certainly recommend my readers to visit Passpartout in the future.

We did it. We did it y'all we made it! Progress to the next act.

Oh wait... fucking boom?

Away from my alley out the back, no I mean ACTE DEUX

pursuing the craft

All my art, it flutter like a butter... fly?

You have unlocked a new tool.

Do I have a pen now?

Can I write love letters to Chris Pratt and tell him how much I want him to come to my house for my birthday?

I really hope so! Why do I only have 140? OH! I have 1184! I'm a fucking rich bastard.

What is this new thing?

OOOH!

Stabilizers! Stabilising pen! I've more control on the brush- I can actually draw real shit with this!

HOOLLY

FUCK! I can actually take the pen, it is like the art program, almost like using stylus!

Actually, maybe I should get a stylus and do this... No, my art would not be any fucking better.

Anyway, that does it for this episode of Passpartout, this is a super fun game! I really like this a lot!

It's so simplistic

but there's a lot of dicking around to be done with it and that let your creativity flow for whatever little of it is actually inside of me

but some of those were damn good! I liked those teeth that I keep drawing, the little pee pod teeth...

Anyway! THANK YOU guys so much for watching this episode, if you LIKED IT PUNCH that like button IN THE FACE!

LIKE A BOSS!! AND

High fives all around!

But thank you mon petit ami and I will see all you dudes...IN THE NEXT VIDEO!

Tops of the morning in French!

The Description of PAINTING MYSELF | Passpartout #2