he talked about today is what we do with employees to give them to be back in a
way
but they can hear it
they can take it and then they can ship their behavior
anticipate some inexpensive
not make it go away which is not a bolt to make it
get a little bit less
so stuck
to texas is a feedback in only two purposes
who knows what's the purpose to giving feedback
improving here make it better
or
reinforced thank you keep doing what you're doing
and those are the only two reasons to get the back
it's just that you do something that i'm a cop check your motives at the door
so if you're giving feedback for any other reason other than to help someone
improving to something differently or to continue doing what you're doing i'm
going to say
check your motives at the door
i help companies matters hiring process manager harry
and there was a young man who interviewed for training position in a
company
and it was unc joint interviews is a group of several people who were doing
interviews
and he was the most part i can get it
but the people who were interviewing and didn't like it
job but they don't seem to interview isn't feeling great i think the guys
kind of a jerk
and he said to them home so if i need to be on your team and i think i was your
first choice
it's actually
you are arthur
i wouldn't want to be on that team
so check your motives at the door
purpose the feedback i've got shift behavior improve it keep doing what
you're doing
every friday
you buy your wives or girlfriends are mothers flout every single friday for a
year
and she never says anything
what should you do
yeah you should go out and buy yourself a really really nice girl
because this is an appreciated she's not demonstrating it
why keep doing it
same as employees
so talk about how did you guys
till key elements of feedback
attributes
and behavior
attitudes and behaviors not just one
i help organizations manic succession planning to make sure that hypertensive
have a place to go
and as a result by return birds and hundreds and hundreds of performance
appraisals
our favorite you're in class
and everytime i read them but i think the same thing
in any country in any part of the u_s_
i keep up
breakfast children cereal
sugar corn
known trains
just sugar
sure is a really great team player
we've really enjoyed having ur she works really hard and she's had a great year
thanks for confirming
it's unfortunate because they are actually say anything
and your please need guidance
your feedback is their compass
and their god and without it
it's like a little bit like that movie that came out several years ago blair
witch project
who thought up down
fulfill might she took over that film
that would be happy to
is the first film hypocrisy
actress in a bag containing for two years
that's brilliant
over the last day of our relationship
truly i can't get this man
but the movie made a really great point
so when the film it's a group of high school students and their creating a
documentary
and there in the mountains in maryland and they're looking for the blair witch
which is a little like a lot next month
and they go into the words of their camping and they're looking for a lot
less monster and they get lost and they get frustrated
and we want to get the certainly frustrated you may remember
they throw their mapping the river
and now they have no direction and the rest of the movie they walk around the
same ever doing laps and i and then visceral pain
this is a little bit like managing people without feedback
they don't know what to do
right it's like going on a road trip
they're taking their kids to new york to fly that they didn't bring a map
sooner than later they end up in kansas they have no idea how they got
so if you don't get your own place feedback and hopes them in a timely way
being really clear interact
it's the same thing
so accidents
and behaviors
actuator behavior
though i doubt it
attribute
hard to work with
actively
it's elephant behavior
demonstrate being hard to work with give me a couple of examples
your nastier surly
late you don't keep your word
got is a behavior
so if you really want to put a shift their behavior and do something
differently which again is another purpose to feedback you want to give axa
peeps and behaviors
as an example
was working with the manager and a large mutual fund company in new york
and i coach a lot of managers on how to help their or in please improve
so she said to me i have a complete super aggressive
and i just don't know what to do when i didn't feedback sick of really really
defensive and i think that that
and i said well what did you tell
and she said well i i said she's aggressive
as the world as it could be a lot of things that could be persistent it could
be that you call until you get a yet
it could be tenacious it could be a variety of things
someone's going to get defensive if they can't picture what you're talking about
good feedback is like a video camera
the person can see exactly what happened
and they can see it go by
and that enables them to shift their behavior
so good feedback happens in a timely way i'm going to recommend you practice
the twenty-four hour guideline and the one-week role
twenty four-hour guideline in the one report with this means is
someone needs to be able to picture what you're talking about if they can't it's
a missed opportunity
you just need to wait till happens again and if it's a problem it well
also if you wait longer than that to give feedback
they didn't think you hold a press
and that's not the matter to you want to be
so again we're practicing timely feedback
freebie clearance pacific
sector hurts but i think what she does
it demonstrates aggression
just as well as he leaves the meeting and she's upset
she comes back to work after she slammed perhaps print on the phone slammed at
the dentist bends artwork
and creating tension on the team
decreases to sense of hostility and buddy
as well that's what you need to tell
just like any time that i heard a few weeks
crises so we're just talking thingy thing it hope it gets better
answer some of your possibly may be doing this at your company maybe your
bosses or something net great it's not going to get better it's going to stay
in if they weren't going to get worse
and it's not those people who leave the company it's your great people
your people who really
secrets you feedback benefit but compared to market about
so we need to get her courage together
and we need to give feedback
and a couple things
don't wait
for
that upset
to go away don't wait for the defensiveness to go away who should be
really really grateful for it
eleven and everything
really like to give shari murphy practice stupid
vivek stockman hurt ur feelings that's about you not about them
human beings are wired to defend themselves
where the people of little children in the room
with little kids
when you take a little kids to cross the street
they can tell them to do what
look left
and let the right
and that's to keep them safe
when people get feedback and they get defensive it's the same thing it's to
keep us safe
so don't expect them not to get defensive just to wait for it
when they get upset and they cry they carry on and they might
ballot off from if you're still breathing and if you want this is very
very good news
when they stop crying then you have a conversation
you be clear
you be specific
you paint a picture
lastly you offer an alternative way to be
so even the best managers when i see the gift feedback there's something then
it's not the person what happened
they state the consequence but they don't offer another way to do things
higher with the people the benefit of doubt
i really think that if we knew another way to do something we would do it
so what the women with
with being a graphic
here's what i would set
i would have said susie
i've noticed them
when you leave a meeting in europe setback to casting slammed on your
phoning your contends that
and is creating a sense of tension on the team
do you do you know what i'm saying you create a dialogue
is good feed back at the dialogue it's not you barking on your employees if you
have your conversation with
involve them in the past
here's my suggestion
there when you're upset you find another way to dispel that upset for coming back
to the team
suggestion at a requesting willing to do that
she says well it was
we meet
let's take a walk around the block
led to drink
meaner good for you protein spirulina
when you can talk about combat to die really willing to do that
siebert drastic
preferably within twenty four hours but surely within a week
you're clear and your specific
you mention activates and behaviors
so she concedes that clear what happens
u_n_ volunteer process and you give her another way
looking employee retention witnesses have to do with the flavor touch
we know that people leave organizations the number one reason
because there's no place to go and a place to grab
the only way to help him please growing developers to give them opportunities
because them along the way
find your courage
get to know your employees
be directed at them
make a difference with them everyday
by being honest
and they'll be loyal to you and they'll be coming
