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Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Dumber Ways To Die

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(D: Hi) P: Helloooo, Dan and Phil Games

D: STOP. THE. EVERYTHING.

P: Wha-ha-hat?

D: I'm sorry, this is very weird. P: Stop what? What's wrong?

D: I'm wearing color. (DEAR GOD NOOO)

P: Something felt wrong.

D: LOOK.

P: What's going on?

D: It's- P: I checked the channel. You've worn white for like the last seven videos. D: It's on brand on the tour.

P: Right. D: Okay? Like Interactive Introverts, it has branding.

P: So you're reppin' the tour? D: And that's, you know, it's got the stripe on it.

D: *Incoherent mumbling* It's just stuff with stripes.

D: Don't freak out.

P: I'M FREAKING OUT.

D: Don't freak out.

P: I'M FREAKING OUT.

D: Anyway, what are they "Dan and Phil Games?"

P: I quite like that... Can I have this after the tour if you're not gonna wear it anymore?

D: It's gonna have sharpie all over it. P: Ah, true.

P: Dan and Phil Games...

DEATHS

*Cutting head off sound effect*

D: Ya know there's a sharpie mark!

P: Oh, yeah, I already knew that. Let me kill you!

P: *More cutting off head sound effects*

D: you've killed me inside dozens of times. P: *laughs*

P: as we are playing *magic noise* dumb ways to die.. deux!

P: two :D

P: the dumbest death ever.. i was researching

D: yeah? *look of regret*

P: and there's quite a few out there, but the one I liked was "Too Much Pudding" was the headline.

D: That is.. something P: that was a clickbait headline.

D: Who was that from? P: uhh ... 1771 Swedish King ADOLF FREDERICK sat down to eat a large luxurious meal..

P: But.. it was the dessert that ended his life P: as he had FOURTEEN BOWLS D: wow P: of cream filled pastries.

P: *laugh* D: That is.. the most aspirational thing I've ever heard in my entire life.

P: *still laughing* His digestive system just gave up! It was like nOpE D: awww P: after number fourteen!

D: I want to give up, but my digestive system never does

P: no. D: OKAY COOL UM SO this is another game in which you are confronted with situations and you have to react very quickly.

P: yeah. D: It's very stressful and hilarious. Last time we did this, it was a Dan vs Phil.. we're not gonna do it this time

P: no.. but we are gonna play for the only cookie that was in the hotel room. it looks like a good one, guys. D: high stakes people.

P: it is gluten free, artisan, choc chia fudge cookie

D: golly gosh. P: hey my 'fudge' was quite northern, wasn't it?

P: fuDGE :D D: hiiigh stakes there people. P: yeah D: We are playing for the only cookie in this hotel room

P: so we're gonna have- D: we are in Sydney by the way P: we are

P: *(terrible) Aussie accent* g'day

P: We're gonna play three games each D: yeah P: and whoever gets the most points in *weird voice and sassy finger snaps* their round wins the game

D: okay and this is life or death um-- P: yeah

D: so if you ever wanted to look at a little training montage of how you can avoid various accidents that might happen to you in life

D: this video can be helpful

D: I feel like you should go first, Phil, cause I think you need the most help surviving situations in life P: okay I'm gonna- I'm gonna be good at this

P: I've had a lot of peril in my life and I think *giggles* this is gonna be a good proof of how I can avoid it D: *looks around skeptically*

D: suureee, it is Phil

P: here we go

P: plaaay

D: you are gonna immediately be thr- are you ready guys? P: I'm ready, I'm ready!! D: cause this is intense B: DON'T BURN

D: tap to - okay! P: I'm doing it!

D: ROTATE, PHIL! P: I'm rotating!

D: THE SUN IS GONNA ROAST YOU! P: come on!

D: you're gonna- okay, here we go, you are doing it

P: please, please, please, we're not gonna burn! D: you are-- okay, right

P: this is me in the sunlight!

D: literally P: this is what happened

D: wow P: whaat? D: Phil you are not -

D: NOW! P: SWIPE D: you have to swipe up at the right time! P: okay

D: at the right time, at the right time! P: GO!

P: that was good! THAT WAS GOOD!

P: was it?

P: yes!! D: it was, you survived! P: I stayed alive! I still don't understand that one

D: FASTER! P: rotate! D: you have to tune in, Phil, you have to tune in P: oh, alright, here we go, here we go

B: *laugh*

P: oh my god, I wanna watch that D: I think you just had to point it at the correct thing, not spin it P: no, it said 'rotate the satellite'!

D: okay, stay behind the yellow line, Phil, come on P: what the hell D: come on, tap, tap! P: I am!

D: tap more- oh P: oh! oh my god! D: you just got your fricken face shaved off by the Tube

P: I don't know what that meant! D: that is relevant to your life! P: alright, jump across the river!

D: tap to cross the river, here we go P: bump, bump, shlamp, shlimp, clamp

D: not onto the crocodile!!! oh P: NO THAT that was like one of the logs! D: really? dangerous P: yeah

D: okay P: okay

P: okay that was good. D: well done, Phil! This is going well so far

P: what is this?? Rapunzel? D: It's Goldilocks

D: climb the snek- P: wh- wh- what?

P: whattt is that??? *giggles* D: you got eaten by the snake, Phil

D: god, you suck P: I didn't even get a chance!

D: gaaamee overrr!

P: whot? D: and that's the game

P: that's the game D: are you ready? okay- P: wait wait

P: I need to make a note of my score - 386

D: well, it's gonna be easy, because I'm gonna beat your best every time so-! P: Whatever Trevor!

P: Get back in lane, Blane

D: okay, right play again! P: Danny! D: I'm ready

D: I'm on the Yeti! P: Groom it! D: Boom! *sings* wipe away the buuuugs, wipe away the buuuuugs

P: I think you're too slow, I think you're too slow! D: I'm wiping, I'm wiping! Look, shiny! Beautiful!

P: ooh what a shiny beast D: you need a bit of that, bug removal, you kidding me

D: right, what am I doing, I'm pulling, I'm extracting the aliens, here we go P: oohh

D: Aliens extracted! They're beautiful and valid! P: how are you going so fast?

D:They're fine! right P: why is your score already so high? D: faster!

D: swipe to close the windows and doors, okay uuhhh wha-wha-wha-wha

P: oh my god D: I'm swiping, I'm swiping, close the door- Yesss!

P: now you can enjoy a night time drink D: having a nice time, staring at candles, don't look at candlelight too much, it damages your eyes P: alright

D: find the tribe, trace the path uuhhhh- P: you can never do the path

D: there we go, was that the path?

P: noo! *giggles* I like how you foamed at the mouth! D: dart in the back

D: it is this way! P: faster! D: right here we go, here we go P: oooh

D: tap- okay there we go P: was that a kangaroo? D: ooh, I was supposed to dodge at the right time there

P: you didn't D: I got my legs cut off by a capybara

P: oh oh D:okay rotate the lever, there we go, stretch mee P: this is like torture

P: why is he stretching? D: stretch meeeee - imagine if someone did that to Dan and Phil - NoOO

D: Oh my god I paused it, here we go P: it's okay

D: YESS! I am a long boiii!

P: that's what happened to us in the womb! D: that's what Dan and Phil look like live! People aren't expecting that really. P: yeah

D: ski safely, okay here we go I'm tiLTING!!! Mother of gOD oKAY

D: this is HIGhly inTENSE gAMepLAY rIght nowww

P: you'd be rubbish at skiing! D: well, apparently not so- ya mum

D: I'm in a hot tub P: ohh, straight into the bath D. living my best chalet life. I'd love to go on a chalet holiday

P: *kinda sings* two potatoes chilling in a hot tub- D: TOUCH TO JUMP- okay

P: -five feet apart cause they're not dead!

P: and you are dead D: you killed me

P: why?? D: you killed me by doing that, Phil

D: I blame you entirely! P: you got double my score!

D: Do not make the Anthony reference- see I told you! P: I don't know how that happened. D: this is gonna be so easy

P: Danny- 614 D:*whispers* I just peaked

P: we're getting very yellow because the sun is setting over there D: that's fine, I can just make it brighter

B: *singing* aaaaaaaah

P: nice. right D: we're slowly ascending to heaven

P: prepare to feel my pain, laddie-boy

D: literally never say that again P: A!

D: YOU'RE AT SCHOOL P: trace the line D: TRACE THE LINE

P: holy crap D: oh god P: oh my god

D: OH GOD ohhhh GOD P:*laughs* *incoherent mumbling*

D: Phil! He has an English Language degree!

P: what the hell? D: Mother of God! P: shut up, shut up! D: okay P: oh my god more tracing

D: Phil can't tie his laces. P: shi-sa D: I love that Phil's been given all the tracing ones P: yess!

P: I did it! D: you- P: I traced it! D: Phil can't do up his laces, that's a thing about Phil - you wanna know a Phil fact? It's that he can't tie his laces.

P: look- I was never - I can do that

D: That is so easy!

P: Yeah well, just suck it. ; )

P: Right. Next one's gonna be good.

D: Violent. Agressive. Here we go!

P: Hold still D: Hold still! Don't move a muscle!

P: Ah it's making me wanna - move.

*Dan screams ARGH, scaring Phil*

*giggles*

D: HOHOOOOOOO! P: you don't get to do that!! D: You moved!

P: That actually made me jump! D: yeah, alright, this is it! P: Alright, alright, F this!

D: Climb the hair! P: Trace the path! D: Trace the path. P: Oh here we go. D: Oh don't touch the snek! P: Christ!

D: Don't touch the snek! FASTER!

P: I'm in the hole! ; )

D: The hole? It's a window! P: what's with the Yeti?

P: okay. D: Okayyy. Don't think she wanted that. P: Don't sneeze, tap to prevent sneezing.

P: oh! Don't sneeze, don't sneeze!! D: Hold that sneeze! P: *sigh of relief*

P: That's not very satisfying if you hold in a sneeze. D: Orgasm denial. ; )

P: Apparently it's eight sneezes in a row -is the same pressure

D: You are being given the same ones! This is so easy right now! P: Here we go, here we go. Yes, yas, YaaS, YAAAS! D: okay

P: that was good! D: Alright, Phil's had his training montage. P: Straight on the gator's bonns!

D: That means head- P: Yeah, I know, I was on his head! D: *incoherent mumble* right, YOU'RE FISHING!

D: Tap to catch the salmon. P: yeah, okay, I got - I can get some salmon! D: oooooh look at him, he's a little salmon tapper! P: oh my god, oh my god!

D: ooh he loves to tap that salmon! P: ohoo look at the bear! ):

D: Is that a good thing? We just killed a lovely bear! P: It was like --

P: Find! D: Okay here we go!

P: wot? D: You just got slapped, idiot! P: I just got penguin-slapped

D: I don't understand what just happened P: that was so fast

D: *gasp* yOoooOuuuUU - didn't beat my score! :D P: I did!? D: no you didn't P: 750!

D: I THOUGHT THAT SAID 814! P: no it didn't! D: no I got 6- shhhhhhh- P: take the L....Bob

*Dan starting to regret asking for those editing tips*

P: I know the right words to say!

D: Please, delete Phil

P: Second go for Danny boy! D: Alright here we go!

D: I'm taking - I'm capturing the alien

P: What does that mean? D: CAPTURE!!! Selfie with the alien- P: oh my gosh D: one billion likes, Kylie Jenner is quaking, here we go!

D: Right, find the treasure. Tilt to avoid the mines. P: No, you're meant to get the mines!

D: No, I'm NOT! Youuu - pffffff

D: Okay, finally my time to cross the river. P: You'll never do this

P: You're a rubbish river crosser

D: oooooh P: oooooh D: oooooh P: ooooh D: It's a lovely volcano

D: Why is he going to a volcano, that's not very safe? P: I don't know B: complete the ramp

D: Rotate the pieces P: oh that's a new one D: oooh there we go

D: SKATE! P: that is - D: yeah the car exploded P: -too- D: that's a good thing apparently P: that was too easy

D: Here we goooo! Says you Mister satellite one twice

D: oh okay ehh *random noises*

D: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? P: *giggles*

P: no - no time to wait D: give me a freaking second to react! P: Last one!

D: okay P: last one!

P: Tap to walk

P: no

P: looks like you're not safe by the pool D: I got a - uh- hard - series of ones.

D: you got all the same ones that you've had before *poke poke* P: a likely story

D: yeah okay P: Get your finger out my face! It's very threatening D: it's the finger of truth, Phil

D: and you need to deal with it P: *bites*

D: don't know where my hand's been. Wouldn't bite it if I were you. *oof danny boy where have they been? ;)* P: no

P: no horseplay in the pool

P: do you remember those labels? What is horseplay? D: no horseplay!

P: don't pretend to be a horse D: no heavy petting!

P: but light petting, light petting is fine D: furries are not allowed in the pool

D: light petting's okay P: yeah

D: heavy petting -- P: what's heavy petting? Is that like - petting a nipple? Or petting really hard?

D: It's when you have eight dogs at the same time

P: then, that's heavy petting

P: right, last go. I'm gonna break a thousand

P: I'm gonna be the king of this game. D: really? Alright. P: Everyone's gonna call me Safety Lester

D: wait WaIT I have to turn up the light again! P: again? D: We're chasing the sun here

D: It's fine, go

P: It's gonna be dark by the end of this D: awww, I'll take a nice little picture of the-

P: AH avoid the - trace the path!

D: ooh, here we go P: I'M TRACING!!!

D: Why does Phil get all the easy tracing ones, are you kidding me?? P: in the hot springgg

D: I get all the tilty McDoesntEvenWork ones

P: what is this? Alright, aliens!! D: You have to pull the aliens, Phil P: oh, oh my god!

D: read the description P: I'm dragging it!! D: oh dear

D: ooooooooohhh myyyyyyyyy godddddd

D: Are you kidding me? P: soooo close! D: that is so easy!

P: faster faster faster

P: right, wh- whot, uhhh?

P: omg D: tie the rope, Phil P: I'M DOING IT! D: Tie the rope, come on! And the other one, there's TWO!

P: whe-? D: OH MY GOD THERE WAS TWO COLOURS!!!!

P: I didn't see there was two!! D: there was two co- you just killed someone.

P: killed by a jet ski

D: we just left New Zealand

P: LEAP- oh - there we go. Yaaas. I can do this! D: this is sooo easyy

P: What are these animals is what I wanna know D: they are sloth bears

D: woooow

P: oohhh sliced into sashimi D: way to get sliced and diced by the penguin

P: Right, I gotta get this one. Sweep! Rub the screen D: OH sweeep the floooooooor!

P: I'm doing it! D: *sings* rub the screeeeen P: I'm rubbing the screen

D: *sings* you need to rub it fasterrrr

D: that- you-- P: was that it!?!? D: you'll never be an Olympic curler

P: that was terrible

D: *knocking a sweet beat with the table*

D: oh - dear P: I thought I was getting into the groove

P: turned out the groove was a lump

*lIp sMaCK*

D: I have to beat Phil's 750. okay, here we go! P: here we go

D: I'm vaulting!

P: *wrong buzzer noise* D: And I made it!!

D: YESS! P: okay D: that was a successful vault P: you gotta beat my score

D: rub - use two fingers to light the fire, okay here we gooo - yes, easy

P: that was soo easy! D: are you kidding me?? That was a new one, that was a challenging experience, P: okay

D: here we go, faster, faster! swipe, swipe, okay, right, this is only fair that I have to deal with this because you -

D: - had to deal with several repeated ones, so now it's my time P: mine was horrifying

D: oh my score is getting quite high, Phil P: oh my god, oh my god, oh my god

D: *surprised* oOokay, not complaining!

P: that was- that was fine D: that was fine, that's wonderful, I'm having a wonderful time

D: tap to JuMp the ShArk P: oh my gosh D: frickity frACk

D: oh my god, I don't wanna be a snack

D: here we gooooo- and one more - YES!

D: king of skiing! Thank you- oh wait what's Dan's sco-

P: *gasps* how is it- how is your score so high already???

D: I'm stirring, I'm stirringggg P: nooo D: I'm boiling the potttt

D: wooow, I made a burger, Overcooked is quak- oooh my godddd this is amazing! P: oh my god, this is ridiculous

P: tap at zero

P: *giggles* D: *snap* commuting!

P: you've already won! D: *incoherent complaining*

P: how have you already won?

D: oh finally I get to do - oh my god I keep - wait

D: WOOOW! No, okay, fine. P: into the snake

D: fine

D: one life down. It's okay. P: you're still gonna win

D: swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, swipee

D: havin a lovely time with my candle

P: that's you! Dan likes the room to be very cold

D: *sings* dododododoodoo

P: you missed that one D: OH GOD, okay, he died, he died horribly P: *giggles*

P: that was a horrible one D: it's fine, I've lost all momentum, people

P: race to climb D: tap to climb, here we go

D: oh oh okayy- oh, oh god P: oh god D: and then I die instantly

P: right on the crotch

D: *clap* well P: *impressed* over a thousand!!

P: *whiny* but I want the cookie sooo muchhh

P: you don't even like it!

D: you know what the best part is? I didn't even particularly want the cookie

P: *grabs cookie and licks it* licked it now.

D: *deep sigh*

D: you know what, cause I'm a good friend you can have it, Phil P: can I?? D: yeah!

*yay sound effect* P: thank you! *giggles* That is covered in my own saliva

P: so! That was dumb ways to die, hopefully you learned some life lessons D: some valuable skills there

P: -about how to stay alive in this scary world!

D: We're only on tour for another three weeks - P: yeah! D: -so do you think you can survive, Phil?

P: I don't know, maybe not, I mean we're going to some new places!

D: We're - yeah! P: we might get trampled by an Indian elephant!

D: totally! In the middle of Mumbai, that's a thing P: yeah

P: someone actually died by giving laxatives to an elephant and then standing underneath it

P: and then the elephant just pooed all over them D: did that actually happen though? P: no it did!!

P: It did!!

D: and what? They just got crushed by crap? P: It's a sad story! Yeah!

D: that- I don't think that happened P: I think the elephant might have sat on them D: I think that is--

P: some- something relating to an elephant D: *whispers* okay P: and diarrhea D: *whispers* great, wonderful

D: BUT I hope that you enjoyed this! Give us a thumbs up if you did P: thumb it!

D: there is a third one P: yeah D: so maybe we *chuckles* could play this as well

P: if you you'd like to see that D: if- if you've had a bant. there's still plenty of time for us to die while we're on the road P: let us know, yeah

P: you can subscribe by clicking subscribe D:*fingergun* bam P: final tour tickets are below

P: our other channels are down there D: *random singing* P: and remember, if you're climbing someone's hair - avoid the snakes

P: ow! D: *hissing noise*

*Betcha Regret asking for editing help now Dan*

The Description of Dumber Ways To Die