Daddy Owen: Yeah its hot here for a pop. I got a little story. I hope you cannot relate.
Went to the store like a good dad oughta. Gonna buy a gift my little daughter. What
would a little girl like? The guy behind the counter says Hey how bout a bike?
Take the box home. Take a little look. A manual, the size of the fkin phone book. If I find
the writer he is worse than fight, when I am done with him so assembly be required.
I dont even own a ratchet. Well three in the mornin and Im busy buildin.
Screwin and screwin like a drunk Paris Hilton. Uhmmm damn I wish I had a gat. I;m
so pissed off I d like to shoot the cat. Im a dad. Yeah. And Im rad, yeah. Boxer
shorts and plaids. Yeah. The chain goes SNAP! hits me in the crotch. I look like a briss
that just got bopped. Oww! Handle bars are on backwards. How did that happen? Dont
push me man I am close to the edge. Screwinin the screws, tightenin the bolts. I drink a
quart of gin and then a can of Jolt. I think Im all done. I think the bikes complete
and then I realize I forgot the seat. I find the seat. I lose the wheel. Now how the hell
is that going to make my daughter feel? I coulda got a teddy bear or a rubber duck.
Instead I got a bike all *beep, beep, beep* up. Schwinn like my *beep*beep*. *beep* damn
bike doesnt have a seat.
