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Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Brotherhood 2.0: February 16th

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[intro music]

OK, my assignment for the day is to complete my own survey and I have to go really fast, so

I'm just gonna start!

[high-pitched voice] How long have you known Hank and Katherine?

I've known Katherine for about 9 years now which is, by my reckoning, a very long time.

I've known myself for as long as a self knows itself

[high-pitched voice] What do you want from us?

From Katherine, I want nothing more than what she gives.

From me, I want maybe a little bit more self-restraint, and a Nintendo Wii.

[high-pitched voice] What are you doing? Please be as specific as possible.

I'm making a Brotherhood 2.0 video, which is part of the Brotherhood 2.0 project, which is a weird thing

that I'm doing with my brother that involves posting a lot of video blogs on the internet.

I'm also writing ecogeek.org, which is a blog for environmental technologies.

And I'm running my own web design and development business.

And I'm also trying to be a freelance writer. Look!

I'm in this month's edition of Mental Floss.

[high-pitched voice] How long do you think you'll be doing it?

Well, the video blog is another 11 months, yikes.

I'll probably be doing web development for the rest of my life, and I hope to be writing for about that long, too.

[high-pitched voice] What do you want to be doing?

Pretty much exactly what I'm doing, which is really lucky and amazing, and the first time I've ever been able to say that.

[high-pitched voice] What's next in your life?

Hopefully, you know, fame and fortune, but probably contented obscurity.

[high-pitched voice] How ya doin'?

Up to this point, I've kind of lived my life just going with the flow, you know, whichever way,

but now, for the first time in my life, I feel like I've got a paddle.

And I'm beating bad people over the head with it.

[high-pitched voice] What's the best book you read this year?

[gravelly voice] I hate this question!

Um... Serious fiction? The Memory of Whiteness. For funny fiction, Going Postal,

for nonfiction, The Last Child in the Woods.

[high-pitched voice] Describe your perfect day. Oh my God, I have to do this really quick!

Wake up and check my e-mail and discover that I've become famous for something that I did that's really interesting and really cool and I'm really proud of.

Go, have a nice poop.

Go to the beach where it is warm and sunny.

(and Katherine is wearing a bikini)

Go hiking by a cool mountain stream.

Then, for lunch, have something that I've never had before, but which is amazingly good.

Spend some time surfing, which I have never done before but am suddenly extremely good at.

Eat a late dinner at the Red Bird Restaurant in Montana

Walk out the front door and find that everyone I know is having a block party in the alley behind the Florence hotel.

Join them.

[high-pitched voice] Assuming that all things come to an end, how will humans go extinct?

I actually think I'm an optimist when it comes to people going extinct.

I think that we will eventually tire of procreation and find new ways of exsting that don't involve mass slaughters and resource depletions.

[high-pitched voice] How do you feel about kids these days?

Well, there's a lot of cute ones around, and I like them, but they drool a lot, and I really, really, really, really, really don't want to get one myself.

[high-pitched voice] In this space, create your own question and answer it.

This is a question that I never ask because I can never find an answer to it myself:

But!

This year, I can!

What's the best song you heard this year?

Far and away, Weird Al's White and Nerdy.

So much better than anything he's ever done, oh my God!

[high-pitched voice] Embrozzo tastes better than anything else. What does embrozzo taste like?

Uh, like a hot dog with a stick in it dipped in some corn batter and, and like deep fried, and-wait.

Nu- oh.

uh

Never mind.

[high-pitched voice] If you were a cliché, what cliché would you be?

Uh, either absent-minded professor or kid in a candy store.

Which is pretty much how I feel when I'm in the zone on the internet.

So, maybe absent-minded kid in a candy store.

[high-pitched voice] What's your least favorite part of any given day?

Almost invariably getting out of bed.

[high-pitched voice] Do you enjoy science fiction?

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yesyesyesyesyes.

[high-pitched voice] Cheese or chocolate?

Chocolate, because it's more advanced. It's more difficult, it's more new and fresh and complex.

[high-pitched voice] Where would you live if you could live anywhere?

Under the seeeeaaaa....?

[sings] Darling, it's better, down where it's wetter, take it from me-ah!

Or maybe Mars.

Or maybe in a small town in Montana or maybe in a small town in the Southeastern United States.

As long as all my friends were there.

[high-pitched voice] What was your first concert?

The, uh, B-52's.

[high-pitched voice] If you could start a business that would be instantly successful, what would it be?

Definitely a magazine about environmental technologies.

Because, if my business was instantly successful, then that would be really great!

[high-pitched voice] Invisibility or time travel?

Definitely time travel, I don't think anybody said invisibility because time travel is...

You can definitely do everything that you can with invisibility and more.

As long as I don't have any chances of ripping shreds in space-time continuums.

[high-pitched voice] What's wrong with the world?

An under-abundance of Katherines.

So yeah, definitely overpopulation.

Too many people.

But! I really don't want everybody to die, so I'm thinking we should lay the blame someplace else, like

like brains hard-wired for local concern, and a world with global consequences.

That one sounds good.

[high-pitched voice] Can I put this survey on my web page?

Abso-frikkin-lutely!

[swish noises]

Donedonedonedonedonedonedonedonedonedonedonedone Done!

The survey section of this video was only 3 minutes and 27 seconds!

You can time it!

So don't go telling me that I didn't complete the challenge just because this video is longer than 3:30.

I'll see you on Monday!

I have submitted an uncompleted version of this survey to the comments of all the different places where you might find this video.

All of our viewers who made this challenge up for me, I would like to invite you to complete the survey yourselves

In a text-based form, in a video form, in whatever form you like, or not at all.

That's fine, too.

But I wanted to give you the chance, in case you wanted to.

Also, so you could decipher it, if you can't quite understand what that chipmunk is saying.

The Description of Brotherhood 2.0: February 16th