Helga: ARNOLD!
( barking )
HEY, ARNOLD!
( glass shatters )
( girl shrieks )
Helga: HEY, ARNOLD!
ARNOLD!
ARNOLD!
ARNOLD!
[Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
and NICKELODEON]
AR-NOLD!
MOVE IT, FOOTBALL HEAD!
Kids: HEY, ARNOLD!
( bell rings )
ONE FOR YOU, ONE FOR YOU
ONE FOR YOU...
OH, UH, HELLO, HELGA.
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A PICTURE?
IT'LL LAST LONGER.
DWOING!
YEAH.
WHY ISN'T HELGA INVITED
TO RHONDA'S PARTY?
WELL, IT IS A GIRL PARTY.
HELGA'S A GIRL.
SHE IS?
( chewing loudly )
OH, YEAH, I ALWAYS FORGET.
SO, PHOEBE, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO SATURDAY NIGHT?
GOOF ON THE GEEKS
AT THE VIDEO ARCADE?
I'M THINKING OF GOING TO RHONDA'S PARTY.
THEY'RE GOING TO DO MAKEOVERS.
RHONDA'S PARTY?
YOU'RE NOT SERIOUSLY
GOING TO THAT, ARE YOU?
WELL, NO... I MEAN, I KNOW YOU DIDN'T GET
AN INVITATION, AND...
I DIDN'T WANT AN INVITATION.
WHY WOULD I WANT TO GO TO A STUPID GIRLY PARTY?
YEAH, I FIGURED, BUT
I WAS JUST THINKING... IT MIGHT BE INTERESTING.
INTERESTING?
( laughs )
YEAH, RIGHT.
BUT, HELGA...
NO, GO!
GO TO RHONDA'S PARTY
AND HAVE YOUR LITTLE MAKEOVERS.
IT'S NO SNOT OUT OF MY NOSE.
I'VE GOT A MILLION
BETTER THINGS TO DO
ON A SATURDAY NIGHT THAN BE STUCK IN A ROOM
WITH A BUNCH OF SISSY GIRLS.
FINE.
I GOT IT... I GOT IT!
HUH? I DON'T GOT IT.
OKAY, A HUNDRED POINTS FOR ME.
SMACK IT AGAIN.
WAIT A MINUTE.
YOU CAN'T PLAY.
THIS GAME IS BOYS ONLY.
SAYS WHO, PINK BOY?
SAYS, UH... SID.
YEAH, TELL HER, SID.
PLEASE, DON'T HURT ME.
WE'RE HAVING A BOYS ONLY GAME
SINCE ALL THE GIRLS ARE HAVING
A GIRLS ONLY SLUMBER PARTY.
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.
HOW COME YOU'RE NOT AT THE SLUMBER PARTY?
OH, YEAH, I FORGOT.
YOU WEREN'T INVITED BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT GIRL ENOUGH.
( snickering )
SHUT UP!
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
I WAS INVITED, I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO GO.
( chanting ): HELGA'S NOT A GIRL.
HELGA'S NOT A GIRL.
All: HELGA'S NOT A GIRL.
HELGA'S NOT A GIRL.
HELGA'S NOT A GIRL.
HELGA'S NOT A GIRL.
HELGA'S NOT A GIRL.
THAT'S IT...
YOU'RE DEAD.
( screaming )
COME BACK HERE
YOU BIG FLUMMOX!
YOU KNOW, GERALD
I ALMOST FEEL SORRY FOR HER.
THE KEY WORD THERE IS "ALMOST."
"NOT GIRL ENOUGH."
WHAT A BUNCH OF CRAP.
I AM, TOO, A GIRL.
I'M PRETTY, I'M FEMININE, I'M DELICATE...
Man: OH, EXCUSE ME, YOUNG MAN.
I'M A GIRL!
( girls giggling )
AND THEN HELGA GOES "I OUGHT TO DECK YOU, FAT BOY."
( all laughing )
I DON'T SOUND LIKE THAT.
I OUGHT TO DECK THEM ALL.
OUT OF MY WAY... GEEK FACE.
( all laughing )
( belly laughing )
ET TU, PHOEBE?
( all belly laughing )
( mimicking monkey )
( girls laughing )
I'LL SHOW THEM FEMININE.
I'LL SHOW THEM ALL.
THEY'LL BE SORRY THEY EVER MESSED
WITH HELGA G. PATAKI.
( spitting )
HELLO, HELGA, HOW ARE YOU?
OH, FINE, FINE, MRS. JOHANSEN.
JUST PICKING UP MY USUAL MAGAZINES
NOTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY HERE.
( scanner beeping )
( scanner honks )
YO, YOLANDA.
HOW MUCH FOR THIS COPY
OF PRETEEN MISS?
PRETEEN MISS?
YEAH, PRETEEN MISS.
THE ONE WITH THE FEATURE
ON HOW TO MAKE UGLY GIRLS PRETTY?
( laughs nervously )
HOW DID THAT GET IN THERE?
OH, WELL, I MIGHT AS WELL TAKE IT.
I CAN PROBABLY USE IT TO...UH, UH...
LINE MY BIRDCAGE WITH.
YEAH, THAT'S IT.
HMM...
AM I A FIRE ENGINE RED
OR A PEARLY PINK?
Woman: WHAT'S GOING ON IN THERE?
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
I'M FINE, MOTHER.
CAN'T I HAVE
A FEW MOMENTS OF PEACE IN THE BATHROOM?
CRIMINY!
OW, OW, OUCH!
Mother: YOUR FATHER NEEDS TO USE THE BATHROOM NOW.
Helga: OKAY, OKAY!
THERE. SATISFIED?
OH, MY!
HMM... MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE GONE
A BIT LIGHTER ON THE EYE SHADOW.
HEY, YOU GUYS
I JUST SAW HELGA
ON HER WAY TO RHONDA'S PARTY
AND SHE'S ALL DOLLED UP... LIKE A GIRL!
HELGA, LIKE A GIRL?
THIS I GOT TO SEE.
I SAY ALL US GUYS
GO OVER THERE RIGHT NOW
AND CRASH THEIR PARTY.
All: YEAH, LET'S DO IT.
( all talking )
( doorbell rings )
HELGA?
RHONDA, DARLING.
GREAT TO SEE YOU.
SORRY I'M LATE.
SO!
WHAT ARE WE DOING, LADIES?
POLISHING OUR NAILS?
HELGA! YOU LOOK... GREAT.
OH, THIS OLD THING?
JUST SOMETHING I HAD LYING AROUND THE HOUSE.
IT'S ALL THE RAGE THIS SEASON, THOUGH.
( giggles )
I BROUGHT SOME OF MY OLD MAKEUP
IN CASE YOU WANTED ANY TIPS.
NADINE, DEAR, THAT PINK NAIL POLISH
MAKES YOUR FINGERS LOOK AWFULLY STUBBY
DON'T YOU THINK?
I'D SAY YOU'RE REALLY MORE OF A CORAL.
UH, HELGA?
CAN I TALK TO YOU
FOR A MINUTE?
NOT NOW, DEAR.
OH, YES, NADINE YOU'RE DEFINITELY A CORAL.
( crashing )
OKAY, IS EVERYBODY READY FOR FACIALS?
HELGA?
OH, RHONDA
YOU ARE SO...
CHANTAY.
I CAN FEEL MY PORES OPENING ALREADY.
HELGA, CAN I HAVE A WORD WITH YOU?
WELL...
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, LADIES.
I HAVE TO SHARE A PRIVATE MOMENT
WITH ONE OF MY PLAINER ACQUAINTANCES.
HELGA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
GETTING A FACIAL.
YOU NEVER LIKED THIS GIRLY STUFF.
THAT'S THE OLD HELGA.
THE NEW HELGA CAN BE JUST AS BEAUTIFUL AS THE NEXT GIRL.
YEAH, WELL I LIKED THE OLD HELGA BETTER.
AT LEAST SHE WAS HONEST.
SHE'D NEVER PRETEND TO LIKE THIS STUFF
TO FIT IN WITH THE CROWD.
YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS
BECAUSE I'M MORE FEMININE AND WOMANLY.
( slurping )
( burps loudly )
AND NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME
THIS GORGEOUS KISSER'S
GOT A DATE WITH A BOWL OF GUACAMOLE.
( titters )
( sighs )
( gasps )
OKAY, HELGA...
YOU'RE NEXT.
GEE... I AM.
WELL... OKAY.
GIVE ME THE WORKS.
AAH!
STOP!
WHAT'S WRONG!?
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S WRONG.
THIS IS STUPID
THAT'S WHAT'S WRONG.
BUT HELGA, THIS MASK WILL HELP
REDUCE WRINKLES AND SIGNS OF AGING.
WE DON'T HAVE WRINKLES!
UH!
WE DON'T HAVE SIGNS OF AGING.
WE'RE NINE YEARS OLD.
( dog barking )
OH, THIS IS GOING TO BE GREAT.
WHEN THEY SEE ALL OF US IN THE WINDOW
THEY'RE GOING TO SCREAM BLOODY MURDER.
( laughing )
YOU KNOW, HELGA, MAYBE
WE WERE WRONG ABOUT YOU.
MAYBE YOU'RE NOT LIKE THE REST OF US.
YOU'RE RIGHT, RHONDA.
I'M NOT LIKE THE REST OF YOU.
I'M NOT WEARING A MASK.
( girls gasping )
I MEAN, LOOK AT US.
TIN FOIL IN OUR HAIR
GLOP ON OUR FACES
HIGH-HEELED SHOES?
WHY ARE WE WEARING THESE?
( glass breaks )
WE'RE ALREADY TALLER THAN THE BOYS.
BUT HELGA, THIS IS WHAT GIRLS DO.
I MEAN...
WHAT COULD BE
MORE FUN THAN THIS?
YEAH, WHAT, HELGA?
All: YEAH, WHAT?
( crashing )
DID YOU HEAR SOMETHING?
( screaming )
( boys join in )
THE HORROR, THE HORROR!
Helga: COME BACK HERE, YOU CHICKEN BUTTS!
( all screaming )
( groaning )
SHOULD WE GO BACK AND HELP HIM?
ARE YOU KIDDING?
IT'S EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF.
( whimpering )
Helga: WELL, WELL, WELL.
LOOKIE WHAT WE GOT HERE.
( screaming ): HELP!
Helga: WHAT DO YOU THINK?
BURNT COPPER OR CORAL PINK?
( sputtering )
HELP, LET ME GO!
LET ME GO!
( girls laughing )
NOW THIS IS WHAT I CALL A GOOD PARTY.
YOU SAID IT, HELGA.
( crowd yelling )
( banging )
HEY, ARNOLD!
CAREFUL WITH THAT LEVER.
IT SWINGS THE WRECKING BALL.
( barking )
NOW, MOVE IT SLOWLY TOWARD YOU.
THAT'S IT, A LITTLE MORE.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
I ALMOST FORGOT.
Man on tape: I'LL SMASH A VASE, THE RADIO
THOSE LITTLE TEACUPS FROM LIMOGES...GES...
AH, DINO SPUMONI.
BEFORE YOUR TIME.
POW!
ONE OF THE GREATS.
THIS SONG FIRST INSPIRED ME
TO GET INTO DEMOLITIONS.
I ALWAYS PLAY IT WHEN I'M KNOCKING THINGS DOWN.
IT SCARES THE BRICKS.
GO AHEAD.
PULL THE LEVER.
COOL.
YOU'RE A NATURAL.
I OUGHT TO TAKE YOU ON AS AN APPRENTICE.
YOU'D DO THAT FOR ME?
SURE, YOU'VE GOT THE KNACK.
NOW, THE FIRST THING WE GOT TO DO
IS GET YOU A NICKNAME.
COOL, HOW ABOUT "THE TERMINATOR"?
NAH, TOO DRAMATIC.
WAIT, WAIT, I GOT IT.
THE PERFECT NICKNAME FOR YOU--
"BILL."
BILL? THAT'S A NICKNAME?
YEAH, IT'S A GREAT NICKNAME.
COME ON, MEET THE CREW.
( rag squeaking )
HEY, ERNIE, MAN, WHAT'S SHAKING, HUH?
YOU MEAN BESIDES YOUR GUT?
( chuckles )
THIS IS THE KID I BEEN TELLING YOU ABOUT, BILL.
GLAD TO MEET YOU, BILLY.
YOU HERE TO HELP ERNIE
CELEBRATE JOINING THE 500 CLUB?
UH...
YEAH, ARNOLD
I BEEN MEANING TO ASK YOU.
WE GOT A TRADITION HERE.
AT YOUR 500th DEMOLITION
YOUR SON GETS TO SIT IN THE WRECKING RIG WITH YOU.
ONLY, I NEVER MET THE RIGHT WOMAN, SEE.
SO IT'S A LITTLE SHORT NOTICE
FOR ME TO COME UP WITH A SON BY WEDNESDAY.
AND, WELL...
WHAT I MEAN TO SAY, ARNOLD, IS...
I'D LOVE TO.
( grunts )
HI, GRANDMA.
SORRY, NO TIME FOR SMALL TALK, KIDDO.
WE'VE GOT TO SAVE THE CIRCLE THEATER.
WE DO?
THEY WANT TO TEAR IT DOWN AND PUT IN AN 18-SCREEN MULTIPLEX.
ONE OF THOSE SURROUND-SOUND
AIR-CONDITIONED, PLUSH SEAT, BIG SCREEN DEALS.
OH, BOY. SOUNDS...
HUH?
HORRIBLE.
THAT'S RIGHT.
THE CIRCLE THEATER IS THE PLACE
WHERE DINO SPUMONI GOT HIS BIG BREAK.
GRANDPA AND I HAD OUR FIRST DATE THERE.
( audience clapping )
DARLING, YOU LEFT MY HEART
IN PIECES ON THE FLOOR.
SO TELL ME WHY SHOULDN'T I
BREAK SOME THINGS OF YOURS?
THAT SPUMONI...
HE'S THE DREAMIEST.
MM, WOULD YOU LIKE TO DANCE?
I'D LOVE TO.
I'LL SMASH YOUR VASE
THE RADIO, THOSE LITTLE TEACUPS FROM LIMOGES
YOUR WACKY PAINTINGS ON THE WALLS
DARLING, POW! I'LL SMASH THEM ALL!
SO, WILL YOU HELP ME ARNOLD?
YOU BET, GRANDMA.
I'D BE GLAD TO HELP YOU.
YO, BILL, COME HERE.
YOU STILL DOING THAT EXERCISE I TAUGHT YOU?
YUP.
Both: REACH, PULL, REACH, PULL!
( chuckles ) GOOD BOY.
DO THAT EVERY DAY
AND WHEN THE BIG MOMENT COMES
YOU'LL BE READY.
Arnold: THANKS, ERNIE.
THIS IS THE SETUP, YOU SEE.
COOL.
I GOT THE LITTLE LEVER.
( Arnold thinking ): CIRCLE THEATER? OH, NO!
( Ernie cackles )
NOW, WATCH WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I DO THIS.
BOOM! PERFECT!
YOU SEE THAT?
SEE WHAT I DID THERE?
( gulping )
YEAH, I SAW.
WHEN YOU AND I PULL THAT LEVER TOGETHER
IT WILL BE THE PROUDEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
THE DAY I FINALLY JOIN THE 500 CLUB.
WOO-HOO-HOO!
AND YOU'LL BE THERE BY MY SIDE
LIKE THE SON I NEVER HAD.
RIGHT, ARNOLD?
YOU WON'T LET ME DOWN, WILL YOU?
I BEEN LET DOWN A LOT IN MY LIFE.
I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN TAKE ONE MORE DISAPPOINTMENT, SON.
YOU CAN COUNT ON ME, ERNIE.
OH, ARNOLD, I JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU
FOR HELPING ME ON THE BIG CAMPAIGN.
IT'S YOU AND ME, ARNOLD
STANDING TOGETHER, SIDE BY SIDE,
AGAINST THEM ALL.
YOU WON'T LET ME DOWN, WILL YOU?
UH, NO, GRANDMA, YOU CAN COUNT ON ME.
HEY, GRANDPA?
I WAS WONDERING IF I COULD TALK TO YOU.
I'VE KIND OF GOT A PROBLEM.
SHOOT, SHORT MAN.
OW!
GRANDMA IS COUNTING ON ME
TO HELP SAVE THE CIRCLE THEATER.
AND I WANT TO HELP HER.
OF COURSE YOU DO!
IT'S A GREAT CAUSE, NO PROBLEM.
AND ERNIE'S COUNTING ON ME
TO HELP HIM KNOCK DOWN THE CIRCLE THEATER.
HE SAYS I'M LIKE A SON TO HIM.
BESIDES, I GET TO DRIVE A WRECKING BALL.
LIKE I ALWAYS SAY
HOW MANY CHANCES WILL YOU GET
TO DRIVE A WRECKING BALL?
NO PROBLEM.
NO, SEE, I TOLD GRANDMA
I'D HELP SAVE THE SAME BUILDING
I TOLD ERNIE I'D HELP DESTROY.
NOW YOU GOT A PROBLEM.
I KNOW THAT.
BUT WHAT DO I DO?
WELL, THERE'S ONLY ONE THING YOU CAN DO.
UH, WELL, WHAT YOU COULD DO IS...
SHOOT FIRE
TIME FOR MY MEDICATION.
I'LL GET BACK TO YOU.
DON'T CALL ME, I'LL CALL YOU.
I KNOW, I'LL JUST TELL THEM BOTH I WANT OUT.
THEY'RE ADULTS.
THEY'LL UNDERSTAND.
HEY, ARNOLD.
ASK YOUR GRANDMA THERE TO PASS THE POTATOES.
THAT IS UNLESS SHE WANTS TO PRESERVE THEM
FOR ANOTHER 500 YEARS.
HERE, ARNOLD.
TELL YOUR FRIEND I'M SORRY THEY AREN'T MASHED.
BUT HE PROBABLY WANTS TO DO THAT HIMSELF.
FINISHED?
BOOM!
STOP IT!
YOU'D KNOCK DOWN THE STATUE OF LIBERTY
IF IT GOT A GRAY HAIR.
YOU'D SAVE A PILE OF DOG DROPPINGS
IF GEORGE WASHINGTON ONCE STEPPED IN IT.
COME HERE AND SAY THAT, DEMOLITION MAN!
YOU WANT A PIECE OF THIS?
YOU HOME-WRECKER!
THIS IS RIDICULOUS!
( yelling continues )
( door slams )
NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!
YOU'VE UPSET THE BOY.
Ernie: ME? HE'S MAD AT YOU.
Ernie: REACH, PULL. REACH, PULL.
BOOM!
IT'S PROGRESS.
( imagining music )
Grandma: GRANDPA AND I
HAD OUR FIRST DATE HERE.
DINO SPUMONI, OUR FIRST DATE.
Ernie: THIS SONG FIRST INSPIRED ME
TO GO INTO DEMOLITIONS.
DINO SPUMONI.
( dialing phone )
POOKIE, HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?
LISTEN TO REASON JUST ONCE AND COME HOME.
NOPE, I'M GOING TO SAVE THIS BUILDING.
BY YOURSELF?
NO, I'VE GOT ARNOLD WITH ME.
WELL, I DON'T SEE HIM.
HE'LL BE HERE.
( motor rumbling )
THIS BUILDING'S ABOUT TO COME DOWN.
I PARKED MY CARCASS RIGHT HERE
AND I'M NOT MOVING.
WHERE ARE YOU, ARNOLD?
COME 9:00, YOU'LL CHANGE YOUR TUNE
AND I'LL GET MY 500th DEMOLITION.
HURRY UP, BILL.
( rumbling )
( machinery rattles )
WAIT, WAIT, STOP THE SHOW!
Both: ARNOLD, YOU CAME!
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, AS MAYOR OF OUR FAIR CITY
I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE.
I THOUGHT WE RECALLED HER.
BUT FIRST, TO SAY A FEW WORDS ABOUT THE CIRCLE THEATER
LET ME INTRODUCE A MAN WHO NEEDS NO INTRODUCTION
MR. DINO SPUMONI.
DINO SPUMONI!
( crowd cheers )
( gasps )
HOW YOUSE ALL DOING?
I WANT TO THANK A SPECIAL BOY
NAMED ARNOLD
WHO BROUGHT THIS SITUATION
TO MY ATTENTION.
YOU KNOW, THE CIRCLE'S GOT A LOT OF HISTORY FOR ME.
I SANG MY BEST NUMBERS HERE
PUNCHED THE FINEST PHOTOGRAPHERS IN THE WORLD.
POW, RIGHT IN THE KISSER!
THAT'S ANOTHER STORY.
THIS BOY HERE
GOT ME AND THE MAYOR TOGETHER
AND WE REALIZED
WE GOT TO SAVE THIS FINE OLD BUILDING.
I HEREBY DECLARE
THE OLD CIRCLE THEATER
A CITY LANDMARK.
( crowd cheers )
OF COURSE!
THE CIRCLE THEATER!
YOU WERE THE REASON
I WENT INTO DEMOLITIONS.
THAT SONG OF YOURS.
DARLING, YOU LEFT MY HEART
IN PIECES ON THE FLOOR.
TONY, GET ME OUT OF HERE.
LET'S MOVE IT OUT.
( tires screech )
DINO, WAIT, COME BACK!
I WANT YOU TO SIGN MY HEAD.
YOU DID IT, ARNOLD.
YOU SAVED THE THEATER.
I KNEW YOU WOULDN'T LET ME DOWN.
THANKS, ARNOLD.
YOU STOPPED ME FROM MAKING A TERRIBLE MISTAKE.
TEARING DOWN DINO'S THEATER WOULD HAVE BEEN A SACRILEGE.
AND THE NEXT BUILDING I TEAR DOWN
MY REAL 500th
IT'LL BE YOU AND ME, KID.
IN THE END, IT WAS YOU AND ME.
HEY, CRAZY LADY
HE CAME THROUGH FOR ME.
IN YOUR DREAMS.
HE CAME THROUGH FOR ME.
Ernie: ME!
Grandma: ARE YOUR EARS PAINTED ON?
Grandma: I SAID ME!
Ernie: YEAH, MY EARS ARE PAINTED ON.
Grandma: M-E, READ MY LIPS.
DARLING, YOU LEFT MY HEART IN PIECES ON THE FLOOR
SO TELL MY WHY SHOULDN'T I BREAK SOME THINGS OF YOURS?
and NICKELODEON]
[Captioned by The Caption Center WGBH Educational Foundation]
...THOSE LITTLE CUPS FROM LIMOGES...
...DARLING, POW! I'LL SMASH THEM ALL...
CUPID CAN TAKE THE BLAME, I'LL TAKE THE PLACE APART
BUT DON'T WORRY...
I WON'T SMASH YOUR HEART.
NOT ME.
MAYBE SOME OTHER CLOWN
BUT I'M NOT GONNA
SMASH YOUR HEART, BABY.
YOU'RE TALKING TO DINO OVER HERE.
