A few of you know this I actually came into comedy in kind of a
a strange fashion
I finished my Ph.D and then I went into comedy.
Which I don't recommend!
It's a little like spending six years of your life training for the olympics and then going
you know what, I think I'd rather be a glassblower.
But I have found a way to combine the comedy.
with the PhD.
I'm going to give you guys a brief seminar here tonight.
with a favorite comedy topic molecular bonding.
A brief review. There's several different types of molecular bonds.
such as the hydrogen bond pictured here between water and ammonia.
Strong bonds such as the covalent bonds
found in diamonds.
I have a new discovery that I'm calling the supercovalent bond.
Which is the strongest bond in the known universe
that forms between
my roommates body hair and a bar of soap.
We can judge the strength of a bond by the amount of energy it takes to break that bond.
Transition probability.This is tool I used in my
Transition probability diagrams I worked on
Here is the life history of a salmon.
It has a
twenty percent chance of becoming a hatchling.
an 80% shot of ending up as river scum.
Once you reach that hatchling stage only a 5% shot of becoming a juvenile. Not a very promising life history.
But there's actually something with an even
more bleak outlook.
The child star.
It starts off looking pretty good you're a child, you're a star. Hoping to become an adult superstar but you only
10% shot of becoming a superstar.
You have a 20% shot of becoming a porn star.
70% shot of becoming river scum.
It doesn't matter what path you take everyone ends up in rehab.
From there you have a 40% shot of hosting a late night infomercial.
40% shot of becoming a security guard.
And a 20% shot of becoming a politician.
Which of course leads us right back river scum.