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Practice English Speaking&Listening with: DRUNK WAR - GTA 5 Gameplay

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Vodka's kicking in

The fuck's Matt doing?

He's editing

Thank you

Sean's a confident man, who wore a Dragon Ball Z shirt to work today

I wish I had a fucking Dragon Ball Z shirt to wear to this... shit hole (Bruce: No you don't)

I didn't know that could happen

Oh yeah!

I'm gonna spike your vodka with applesauce

It's gonna taste like vodka with apple sauce

Fix your notifications dawg

What're ya talking about?

You got so many

I'd like Joel to play one of these but he like, got butthurt

Joel peace'd out already

"I'm not good at mario maker you guys made fun of me" yeah no shit

Measure of a man, get a man drunk, have him play a video game, make fun of him, piss on his face.

If he whines and runs away, he's a bitch of a human being.

There are only 4 vaginas here so..good luck

'cause they frisk you when you go into the club

They don't know!

And it's not vodka, it's everclear...C'mon

What bouncer is going to probe your asshole to see what's up in there?

Pizza's on the way

You ordered pizza?!

Alright, use your gun

Don't forget the gun

Yeah good luck

Oh! Get in the truck!

Yeah, Oh get in the giant thing!

To your right

Go to your right, to the right

Jump in

Hit "Y"

You'll be invincible

Hold "Y", Hold "Y"

There ya go

Here we go

Take your time

alright, you'll be safe in this

Alright, Ram 'em

Now just, yeah, you can just crush 'em

Go get 'em

Here ya go!

Watch your team

Watch out for the bus too

You died

Oh, how? how?

That was ghost dad

I don't play GTA...

You froze

Oh, he thought about, decided not to get in

(Laughter) And it's gone!

It teleports around

Let me in!

Other side, other side

uh, oh no. uh oh, teleported under the tires

Let's do it bruh

Here we go

uh huh

Here we go

Let's go

Damn this connection's real bad

Yep

Ok, crashed there and teleported forward. (laughter) Space landing

I have yet to see a bad guy

They're over there somewhere

NICE!

*Sick Guitar riff*

This is still GTA I think

Uh huh

I think it's still GTA

This person is getting all the kills for you, he has 40 kills

What tha fuck?

I mean, you might as well just keep your head down at this point

Get the kill!

She's got it

Oh Yeah! It's a kill for you!

Who brought the roll of toilet paper out here?

Look at the death from above

Elyse you're doing it!

She is doing it. Move up.

There! shoot! shoot! shoot! shoot!

Ah fuck, I got fucked there

I got too proud

C'mon Elyse

You're doing it

Jet man...uh...jet man's uhhh, jetting all over the place

Look at this, look at all those kills

Senior Wongs, senior wongs man

Carpet bombin

This is what you do

There's noting to do, if you, honestly, if you just stay down your team has a better chance of winning

Elyse just run up there and..

Wowee wow wow!

Oh my god!

Run up there like your an action hero and you fucking start killing people

A coward dies a thousand deaths, a hero but one

Cowards, a thousand times over!

Well you died already once

Well I did

Watch out, you're getting deep into enemy territory here

Hop over the left

Ohhh

I tried to strafe

How many kills is this?

It's to 5 minutes regardless

UH OH!

Oh god Senior Wongs

He's upside down!!

God, he's stylin right now

Just walk away

Elyse is the best

Look at him, look at him eviscerating human beings

Taking lives, just like the Angelina Jolie movie Taking Lives.

Kill...your target

This is like that scene in Saving Private Ryan

When Ethan Hawke has sex with Angelina Jolie

Oh, I love that scene!

Were you talking about Gattaca?

Nice

Good kill

I won, by no doing of my own

That's not true

Way to go Elyese!

You were crucial

You were part of the ground forces

Out of 13

aahhhh

I'm gonna be the Senior Wong this time

Please be on Senior Wong's team

Was Taking Lives the last time Angelina Jolie did nudity?

She was naked in changeling(?)

Nope

Wasn't she naked in Monster?

That's Halle Berry

Keira Knightley will just do nudity in anything

She will?

She throws it out

She just posed for nude photos to be like "Hey I don't have big boobs"

I have bigger tits than Keira Knightley

What are you proud?

No!

I'm just saying it's a waste

It's a waste?

Waste of what?!

It's a waste of film

Don't go see the Jacket in theaters

Yeah, but I don't want to suck on your nipples

You...you don't?

Pizza's on the way

Did you order pizza?

No

I do a pretty good Keira Knightley impression

Tell Sean to spend his own intern money, unpaid intern money to order us pizza?

"But you can't have love actually" (spot on Keira Knightley impression)

That's really good

Is that Keira Knightley?

Yeah

"These are my breastssss" (Knightley impression)

"But you can't have love actually" (Knightley impression)

Woa! it's like Keira Knightley in stereo

Joel run an ad

No, Joel's not here

Joel went home

He got butthurt and left

"I want to go to the Chinese theater where it loves me" (Joel impression)

Say a Pirates of the Caribbean line

Uh

"Jack!" (Knightley impression)

Wow that's my favorite line

"Jack!" (Knightley impression)

I'm gonna do you a favor dog you wanna graduate on up to the front row here

No

"But you can't have love actually" (Knightley impression)

Are you still drinking alcohol Lawrence?

Yes

"Jack! Get the treasure Jack!" (Knightley impression)

"Got to bend it like Beckham" (knightley impression)

There he goes

There's Senior

Oh, it's a jet!

I can be the hero of the team!

No you can't, 'cause you don't know how to fly

No Lord Eagle! No!

Noooooooo!

Lord Eagle NOOO!

Look at this guy he's pro strateging

hear that guy?

Buzzards in the air

Keira Knightley nipples on the move

"Buzzards in the air" (Knightley impression)

"Buzzards in the air" (Knightley impression)

What's the difference between Keira Knightley and Emma Watson?

Natalie Portman

Nothing

Oh! my friend!

He was my friend!

Look at that sweet drift

Well, he shot out my tires

Adrian Brody

James go back and kill him, what are you doing?

I'm going to the military base

James!

Go back and kill him!

They've got it handled

The views are going down

I'm gonna get another jet

Predators is a cool concept but the more you see of it the stupider you realize it is.

No that's bullshit

James likes God's of Egypt but not Predators

God's of Egypt was truer to what it intended to be

Oh give me a fucking break

Hey James, here's some salt 'cause you're so salty

Are you spitting on me?

It's the salt shaker I keep in my desk because I'm a pig

You put Predators to Predator you put Aliens to Alien

Uh huh, yeah

You put it up mathematically, those movies line up, every way you can possibly imagine it

Lawrence you gotta finish this vodka

Yeah? Alright

No you don't

Yeah you do

Yes he does!

If anybody can finish it it's the guy with the hernia

Yeah, 'bout 2 years

He hasn't changed his outfit once

He has a brand to protect

Turbid, do you sell any T-Shirts yet?

How much is the Turbid brand worth?

If we wanted to buy the Turbid name from you

How much would it cost?

That's about right, yeah

You put Predators against Aliens

Uh huh, yeah

Every mathematical point you can plot out on a sheet of paper, it lines up

And yeah, Aliens is a better film

That's not true, at all

Absolutley it's true

I'm saying mathematically it's true!

Absolutely, mathematically it's true

Aliens is a better film than...

But! You're neglecting...

There's not a lot of math involved...

God damn it!

...With a creative film

THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING!!! YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!

"We're being hunted"

They don't line up

They do

They don't

"Wipe them out"

In what ways don't they?

Because, uh, because Predators begins with the gimmick of predators

Where as Aliens starts with a whole new premise

"Wipe them out"

No it doesn't, Aliens starts with the continuation of Ripley

She has PTSD

"Wipe them

"Aliens is better than Predators" (Knightley impression)

Thanks Keira

Aliens is better than Predators

"I think that Johnny Depp says that Aliens is better than Predators" (Knightley impression)

But I think, if you went into Aliens without seeing Alien, you would not give a shit about Ripley

Or why she...

That's not true, that's not true

Have you ever seen Adrian Brody and Topher Grace?" (Knightley impression)

But mathematically...

Wouldn't it make more sense to start a monster movie where they're just skydiving into a monster movie

No, it's not, it's stupid, it's a gimmick

I'm telling you mathematically...

It's a loose gimmick

This is what I'm saying!

THIS IS WHAT I'M SAYING!

You ask James Cameron, the story goes he walked into a room and he wrote Alien on a whiteboard

With a dollar sign behind it "Aliens"

He knew, he did the fucking math before hand and he knew the money was there

Kill them all

Kill them all, make those ants scream

Nice!

Oh shit! It's over, end of an era

Aliens or Pre.. or Terminator 2?

What? No

Why don't you just say Avatar or Titanic?

There we go

Nice shot Adam

Enemy at the Gates

Gotta lead it, Gotta lead it, BANG!

Oh that's a hit! You hit it!

You got it!

Adam shoot him

Ah, Adam shoot him again!

Hold on!

ADAM!

Ohh Adam

Alright that shit was legit, I can't bag on Adam anymore

Gett'em Adam there it is!

Oh, he's spiraling in

You're good

AHAHA

He's going to crash

BOOM

I'll just wipe it off

What?! Aww loser

"Aww Yeah, yeaaah" (Kid on voicechat)

SHUT UP!

Fix your mic dickbag

FUCK YOU!

Thanks for listening to our movie podcast

Hey if you want more Aliens and Predators you should go...

I'm going to eat some more pizza

We're done!

We don't have pizza

We made it, we made it all the way to the end of the drunk stream

Pizza time

I'm just saying, any human being, you say make a real Predators with a plural, like your task is to follow up James Cameron.

That is the best a non James Cameron human being can do.

The Description of DRUNK WAR - GTA 5 Gameplay