Science has always been fascinated by the question...
...what happens when an immovable object meets an unstoppable force
Well I'm Gaurav Kapur and I thought I’d find out
By taking my old pal the crazy Danny Morrison
To the chaotic Chandni Chowk
We hear ya!
Let the games begin...
I think we should move back cause everyone has stopped to see us
Slow day, slow day today at Chandni Chowk
Should I go get him in the rickshaw? Oh there he is
- Good to see ya - Fucking good to see you
Let’s get you miked before you drink your water
I bought my tissue box just in case
Do you need a make up man or a spot-boy or something
Doesn’t matter, stop the traffic Stopped already
Doesn't it look like I am taking you to a dark alley to kill you
There is also the odd bike that needs to go
- Are all these people with you? - Ya they are brothers
They're all my love children
I have been coming here since late 87
So it's nearly 30 years
All the 20 year old boys here
- Fucking hell. Chop suey - Should we just get out of the way?
You know what to say in Hindi when they want to get ahead
- They say "Excuse me, side please" - Side please
Which is not even Hindi, It's English
But they understand it
- Side please, side please.. - Side please
- Let's go - Let's go
- Side please - Tomatoes
This place is called Parathe Waali Gali
Gali means Gali, small street
You know what Paratha is
-Ya, eating -Paratha
-Bread, bread -The stuff
No bread for me
Like 60 years ago or pre-independence India, like 70 years ago
This thing, entire thing used to be just paratha shops
There was this 80 year old lady who owned...
...one of the last few shops that remained
And she said there were 50 stores here selling the same thing
All the same thing. Just all the bread
And it used to be packed all the time, it was like the center of the city
It was party central and times square All those things put together
Now there's only 3 left
Ok let’s teach you. Tell him what this is?
-Bottle gourd -Bottle gourd
-Bitter gourd -Bitter gourd
I think he wants to buy some of it
-Will you buy Bitter gourd? -No
-This you'll like - Aubergine
You know what it's called in Hindi?
- Baingan - Baingan
Banging, you are banging..banging baby..
We are dancing
Thank you. Now let's get some chicken
Look at that
-Oil in oil -Healthy breakfast
You want a Ladoo? Jalebi?
Those are those sweet balls, aren’t they?
-Sweet balls indeed -I will have sweet testicals
Can I have a Potato & bread please?
-You are doing puri? You will do puri -Ya
I can't do Puri
-So you can't eat any bread? -Wheat. No, wheat and bread no
You can have the sweet ball
That’s you, eh?
-This is -Potato bit of potato
Oh fuck it's yummy
Not that much
Just touch it
-They're not warm. They are boiling -They come straight out of that
-They love you man, here - Yeah yeah, and I love coming
-If you like what you doing... - And its not even the people you’re working with...
...it's the guys...It’s the fans, they love you here
Yeah absolutely and they own the game really and that’s what it’s about too
Understanding that and because of my mother’s teachings and she's into Buddha
She has come here and has been to Mysore and other ashrams and...
...gets right into the whole spiritual side for mum
I’ve had a taste of all of that with her at home
Friday nights used to call it scarlet knee bands because they’ll be on their...
...knees meditating at home and I'll be shagging girlfriends downstairs...
...partying, more mellow. But I get all that and I love this
Because you know the whole thing about the game...
...there's no greater passion than here
And then you have this thing called IPL fucking explode
How grateful are lot of us
That are from such another generation. I played like 25 years ago.
But you are able to create an income through game still like this and have fun
And for me to go into like a different genre, it’s almost like acting
And you just have a fucking ball
And I can just carve it up and be crazy and dress up with you
I tend to now get a little pigeon holed to the high end, high octane madness
And that’s me and I'm not going to change that really cause I love what I do
When I was in Chittagong with the ICC "Welcome back to the Gong! I love it here!"
And calling it the Gong rather than "Welcome back to Chittagong"
Well you know, boring
And this embraces the youth culture. T20 is about the bigger thing
I am what I am and and my sons a crazy... They’re more serious then I because...
...they’re going through adolescence and It’s a bit serious and I'm cool...
...and all that sort of stuff and labeled stuff
Whereas I'm still a bit out there they go "Dad, nutter, idiot"
The wife really is the disciplinarian
I was telling somebody the other day I said
He’ll be tired and we’ll be shooting 12 hours suddenly go "But Danny...
...got to love the fact that there is air conditioning"
And Danny will suddenly go "Gotta love the air conditioning"
-You do -He just suddenly perks up
You have to give yourself an upper cut
Cause suddenly "Oh we’re gonna come back from an ad now"
And everyone’s like uhh... "Fucking smoke it!"
You've got to
Mate I'm always the cheeky wild side and my father was like that
Even though he was around till I was 7 and he is just written off now
He just turned 71 yesterday, April 4th. Massive fool and just nuts
And he's in the hospital with tubes up here and had hernia and part of his belt...
...collapsed and cancerous and they cut out some cancer and because he was...
...a 30 a day man for years
So his lungs are now 25%...
So he may come out of the hospital but he may get through another fucking collapse and...
So anyway long story short I come from that gene pool so that’s a bit crazy
I get told off at times, "Dan, really I mean role modelling, I mean really?"
So then it's fine that I get told off at home as well
Oh you will but that’s the beauty and saying you have never change that
Because others are saying, don’t change that thing
Life’s too short, to not laugh and if you’ve gone a bit over the line
Sorry recording "I’d say, screw it" because you’ve gotta laugh you know
-So this is the sweet no? - So that's the sweet, that's...
- I'll have a little bit - Gramflour
Say it’s the flour, not gonna eat the flour mate
No it’s not the flour. It’s chickpea, it’s lentil
I don’t know how to explain Gramflour
You’ve got to try a bite of potato though cause its...
I do like potato but...
- Don't be brave - I’ll go straight into the potato
Is it really fiery for you?
- No. I mean, I have that with masala dosa - Ah, there you go
So I'll have a masala dosa in the morning and I see Wilkins and them go
"Aaah can’t eat that, Danny what are you eating that stuff for?"
"Well we are in India, embrace it"
I've also noticed one thing about you
-I'm sweating. Am I not? -Yeah, yeah they will do that to you
-That will do that -But it's good to clear the sinus too
I'm breathing cleaner which may not be a good thing in this place
You might smell a few more things but it is a polluted city they talk about
You've just got so many people
Then again hopefully you say man will get his shit together...
...about polluting the environment because of the oil thing being scaled back...
...because of using electricity
What does to something else because that will fuck the environment somewhere...
- else down the track - Of course it will
- Just has to - That’s all we keep doing
We’ve got 7 billion, wait till you get 10 billion on the planet
-It’s gonna be scary -Give China and India another week
- I'm going to ask you a trivia question -Yeah
-Chetan Sharma got his hat-trick against India in the World cup
-Against New Zealand -At Nagpur In my debut
- Yeah - Yeah spooky
- Who were the three he got out? - Now that’s tough that’s tough
-I got you with the upper cut -Yeah, let's have a look
The last one was Ewen Chatfield because Jeff Crowe told Willy Watson and I...
"You two get stuffed, you are 10 and 11, Chats you go at 9"
-And normally Chats would bat at 11
So even us young guns go "No, No..."
-So Chats was number 3, was it Ian Smith? -I've got him
Was Ian Smith involved in?
Are you answering my question with a question?
Yeah, so that's rhetorical
-I remember Smithy, Deepak and Chats -You’ve got 2 out of 3
"Ain’t bad..." bit of Meatloaf, "2 out of 3 ain’t bad"
-So 2 out of 3 -Okay let me give you...
-Oh no Rutherford was Kenny in it -Kenny is in it
Oh, Kenny! Kenny you dog!
-Yeah, yeah we hear ya!
-Keep moving -Getting out of control
I'm gonna get you a 5 minute head massage from this guy
-Oh so this is the head massage place -Will give you a nice head massage
-Let’s go..Ohh f@#$&* -Drop the ball
-Let’s get in here, let’s film all this -I was going to fall into that
-Do it without oil -Want to shave?
-No don’t shave, just massage -Just head, just head
He was asking, "If you want shave" I said, "No"
-Should I put oil? -No oil or we won’t be able to shoot later
He’s had his hands up his ass too. Just been clearing his sphincter
There is a few Indians here just to stop and carry on
Should we sell you like a tour attraction for...
...ten bucks they click a picture with you
Ten rupees one photo, ten rupees one photo
Rip it up
He's rubbed my head so hard he's rubbed my hair off. What the hell!
Danger man he is
-Danny Dengzopa, Dengzoppa the actor -Yeah, Danny Dengzopa
This is what they do in Mumbai in the brothels. Stop it
Thank you brother. Let me give him a tip
-I'll get it -No, no I've got it
See that guy is going to crash into something, isn’t he?
- This is why I wanted to bring you here - Look at the monkey, the cheeky monkey
- Do you want to take one back with you? - I'll take myself. I've got my son.
Ok we're off, eh?
-Come on, come on
-Come on, come on
So, the reason I got you here to show you my old hometown...
... is so that you invite me to see yours down in New Zealand
- Oh! you'll love it - I'll love it
Come to Middle Earth, Middle Earth, Hobbits, you’d love us hobbits
I'm Gandalf, put on a white beard with a little stick saying, "Follow me, follow me"
All the sheep coming after me