Practice English Speaking&Listening with: How Martin Short Self-Treated a Lump Above His 'Ding Dong'

>> James: HAVE YOU EVER HAD ANY NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCES.

>> WELL, I MEAN, BUT-- NO, I-- I THOUGHT I WAS DYING WHEN I WAS

13.

WHEN I WAS 13 I HAD A LUMP ON THE BASE, THE TOP PART OF MY

PENAL.

>> James: ON THE ACTUAL.

>> NO, NOT ON THE THING BUT RIGHT HERE, LIKE ABOVE THE DING

DONG.

AND.

>> IN LAYMAN'S TERMS.

>> I KEEP FORGETTING.

I KEEP FORGETTING.

I'M NOT TALKING TO MEDICAL PEOPLE.

MY LITTLE-- MY WEANER BOY.

AND SO I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

AND I'M 13.

I DIDN'T WANT TO TELL ANYONE.

SO I WENT TO THE MEDICINE CABINET AND GOT A BOTTLE, OF

DETAL.

>> James: NO.

>> AND I WOULD LATER FIND OUT IT IS HOW THEY CLEANED THE FLOORS

OF SCHOOLS AND THEY WOULD PUT LIKE A CAP FULL IN A BIG BUCKET.

SO I JUST PULLED IT ON FULL STRENGTH AND AFTER A WEEK IT WAS

JUST LIKE THIS, A RED, AND YOU KNOW, I CAN'T-- I CAN'T WORK

TODAY, COACH.

I GOT-- AND THEN FINALLY I REALLY THOUGHT I WAS DYING.

I WAS CONVINCED I WAS DYING AND I WENT TO MY FATHER.

AND HE WAS-- I MEAN HE SAID HMMMM.

YOU KNOW, IT WAS LIKE, HE WAS SHOCKED.

AND AS WE SAY IN KARCH DA, HAD HE BEEN A STEAMSTRESS, WE HAVE

SPIT THE PINS OUT.

AND THEN I WENT TO THE DOCTOR AND IT LOOKED LIKE AN AERIAL

VIEW OF VERSEILLE.

>> AND THEN HE GAVE ME CREAM OR SAL OF AND THEN I SAID DO I KEEP

UP WITH THE DETOL.

AND HE WENT WHAT?

THE DETOL.

>> James: DID IT MAKE YOUR-- DID IT IMPROVE THE SIZE?

>> WELL, I THINK.

SO YOU WANT TO TAKE A PEAK.

>> James: SURE.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.