Practice English Speaking&Listening with: Satyricon (1969 Polidoro film) (Rus., Esp., Eng* Sub.)

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Alfredo Bini presents

a film by Gian Luigi Polidoro


Tina Aumont (Circe)

Don Backy (Encolpio)

Mario Carotenuto (Eumolpo)

Franco Fabrizi (Ascilto)

Graziella Granata (Antonia)

Valrie Lagrange (Trifena)

Francesco Pau (Gitone)

Ugo Tognazzi as Trimalchione

Hail Nero!

Composer - Carlo Rustichelli

Installation - Giancarlo Cappelli

Costumes - Veniero Colasanti

Artist - Flavio Mogherini

Operator - Benito Romano Frattari

Scenario - Rodolfo Sonego based on the novel of Petronius Arbiter

Director Gian Luigi Polidoro

Don't worry. Come on.

- Hi, Centurion. This is the road to Baiae? - Yes, go right.

Check them out!

- Password? - Password is "Hail Nero!"

- Not even close. - No?

Do not you know the password?

- No. - So it will not work.



- What is it? - Two unknown persons without documents.


Who are you?

My name Encolpio. My father prefect in Cordoba. And his name is Ascilto.

- Oh, Ascilto. Where are you from? - From Numantia.

Encolpio: From Tarentum! - From Tarentum.

- Your profession? - I'm not understand you, sorry.

- What are you doing? - I am a philosopher, and he is a poet.

Yes, the poet. We are intellectuals, you know.

How and where are you going?

From Rome. We are going to Baiae for vacation.

Do you already have a place to stay or you alone?

I have a letter from Annaeus Mela. He is the senator.

Let's show it!


- There is only half! - Be attentive, you're so sloppy!

Give him the second half! To get!


Annaeus Mela - an important person, one of the emperor.

This is his nephew!

Nephew Annaeus Mela? And no do not accompany you in Italy?

- We were just having fun. - All right, let it go. Go!

Thank you.

Look there, not only attracts attention.

- What is it? - The Praetorians. As if they did not have us!

- Why is there so much protection today? - That same curse!

- Wait! - Come on! Faster!

Hey, you there! Stand!

Follow me.

Why do we always run away? I'm sick and tired of running around!

Do not ask stupid questions! Or do you want to hang me ?!


- Come into this cave! - There ladder.

Come on, come on, come on!

There is a passage.

Go ahead.

Where are you? Where are you going? You can not be here!

- Grandma, help us! For us chase. - Is there another way out?

No, no! There's a woman praying. Men should not be there.

- Why not ?! - This is blasphemy!

- Give her the money. - Okay, go...

Thank you. Bye, Grandma.

Go, but do not stop and do not look !

These men do not have to leave!

- Come on! Jump here! - No, thank you, I hate to jump.

Hello. We came from Rome. You there exists room for us?

No, I'm sorry.

This morning the ship arrived, , and now all the cue ball.

Do you know who you're talking about?

Well, there is one room, but it is quite expensive...

Worth 50 sesterces.

- No there is lice? Zhukov? - No, it's clean and tidy!

I'm sorry!

Hey, you thought how we pay?

You see that window? Tomorrow we leave a note with a thousand thanks...

And smoemsya.

Yes. And the food? What will we eat?

We'll find someone who invite us to dinner.

- But we do not know anyone here. - Oh, what are you boring!

I wash your clothes, and you only I ask a stupid question:

Housing, about food, about money...

Do something! What are you like a girl! Move, finally!

Who's there?

You are still who?

Recently I was with my mistress in the temple of Priapus.

Yes? And what do you want from us?

I - nothing...

But my mistress very upset crime that you have committed.

The great thing! We just happened to be passing by.

You were present at our secret rites.

Do you realize that if we donesm you, you finish your life on the cross?

Let's be clear. In short, that your mistress wants from us?

She wants to see you. And I have to immediately take you to it.

And then?

Then she decides what punishment you deserve.

Yes, but we hasten to Bailly! Right?

Think carefully about your decision,

Since five armed slaves await you on the street.

If you try to run, they chop you into pieces.

Well's see.

So who is your mistress?

Her name Trifena. She is the wife Lehigh wealthy shipowner from Tarentum.

Where is her husband? On the ship?

Fortunately for you, he is traveling. Otherwise, you would have come to an end.

Quick, climb aboard!

Be ready. If necessary, we plunged into the sea.

Yes, but I can not swim...

Where are those bastards ?!

Who I brush up on you to make such a unimaginable and unprecedented crime ?!

- Excuse me, lady! - We are just students!

Scoundrels! I must admit, I feel sorry for you.

What to me, since you have seen me in the temple completely naked,

I devoured fever, I can not overcome.

Be merciful, Ms. Not hurt us.

Do not me you should be afraid of, but the gods!

To your happiness, you are strong and sturdy young people.

Because Priapus revenge can be terrible! - Priapus ?!

You have a lot of trouble, guys. First you will drop all the hair on the body.

Your skin will be smooth and soft. You will start to grow breasts...

And you will become flabby and powerless, like a couple of old fag.

However, if you agree to repent,

God Priapus can close your eyes to your crime.

Repent? How exactly do we need to repent?

I do not know.

All we obey the witch.

Woe to those who go against Priapus!

It is a vengeful god awful!

- Well, stripped naked! - What for?

None of your business. Stop asking questions!

Do not twist!

And that repentance ?!

All stand up.

What are you doing?

Here, drink everything in one gulp!

- What is it? - It satirion, stimulant.

- Stimulator? - Yes.

How do you feel?

What is something burning inside...

Come. Kiss Me!

Get away, pig! I do not see that I am an old woman ?!

Which of the two ready?

You. Go!

Follow me.

- Go, go! - Wait for me.

- Wait. Come here. - Keep your hands to yourself, pig!

- As our hostess? - Not very well, she is still a fever.

- Why did not you call the doctor? - She does not need a doctor.

Wait for me.


How long will it repentance?

Last time it lasted three days and three nights.

So, this happens not for the first time?

We often catch the boys in the temple.

And when they are not too long,

We lie in wait in the street at night soldiers passing by and grab them.

Tell me why your hostess lives on a ship?

She was banished from Carthage. It is in exile.

- Due to the policy? - No, for indecent behavior.

I heard that only she got up.


What is this?

This infusion of poppy, onion and spices. You must drink!

Nice, is not it?



- Kiss me! - No!

- Kiss me! - It's for my mistress!

- Come on! Kiss Me! - No! No!

Encolpio! Where are you? Where are you hiding?

Get out, wretch! I see you!

This will be a lesson to you!

Teach usurp what belongs our hostess!

- Enough! It is not her fault. - And who is to blame? Get up!

- I never will do so not! - Are not you ashamed!

You are to blame! Make me drink this stuff.

Shame on you! Remember, you're not here for fun!

Now I want to see how you will do it with my mistress.

Do? .. What to do?

- Others have already left? - No, he's still with Mrs.

Wait here.

I tell you, I will no longer stand. I can not do this anymore ..!

How can you not understand? - Come here, my beautiful bummer...

- Do not touch me! - Then get out! Send me your friend.

Ouch! My poor head!

- To you... - She hit you?

Struck ?! She nearly bit off my ear! ..

... And broke a vase on my head! Rubbish!

- What does she want? - I dont know! She's a leech!

- Where are you, Encolpio? - I'm here. I am on my way.

- Go. - Encolpio, come here!

- I'm going Ascilto. - Go, go. You'll see.

- Encolpio! - I'm here.

Come closer...


How do I feel bad.

How cold. Feel what cold.

Do you like it?

How nice.

Bite me.


What is gentle.


- I've been drinking. - Drink more.

- Encolpio ready? - So soon? Be patient!

Come on, get up!

Ye gods! I feel squeezed... dizzy.

Drink now will have lunch.

What a cruel fate, satirion again!

Is your husband has no objection to your "small pleasures"?

He was not even angry. And do not worry - he now travels.

How does he know that I was cheating on him?

Remarkable. We again we do this?

This is repentance before God Priapus.

God himself prikazavaet us to do so.

- Let drink. - I'm so tired.

How hot.

- Kiss me. - Enough! I can not do it anymore!

- Kiss me. - I want to sleep. Leave me alone!

Eat the flower, otherwise hair grow on your entire body!

- Get out, vile old hag! - It's an aphrodisiac!

I'm bored.

- I want to sleep. - You really a dormouse?

Yes, I want to sleep.

Please, madam, if you not let us sleep, we die.

I'm tired. Excuse me.

I am too.

I can not believe you all the time sleep!

Repentance must go all night!

Bring them tinctures!

Pinch his nose!

- What is it? - It's for you cheer.

Leave me alone... Leave me !

Then you will drop all the hair!

Why do not you do it with slaves?

Whores! Do it with their slaves!

You'll see, soon you will feel itself like a lion! Just wait.

- Enough, enough! - I love you.

- I feel like a lion... - How many hands...

How many hands you ?!

Tell me what you want to my mistress!

No, I do not want your mistress!

I do not want to fall in love not a single woman in my life!

Where are you running? Vile lecher! Impotent! Slug!

Where are you ?! Coward!

Stay! Traitor! Slacker!

- Ascilto! Ascilto! Help!

- Grab it! - Better to die!

- What are you doing? Resist ?! - Let me...

-Trus! - Let me go!

- Get, disgusting coward! Gladiator!

My beautiful gladiator how I love you!

Put a ladder! Caution .. He also said, cautiously.

Help! They attacked our hostess!

Rascals snuck aboard!

Help! Help! I was raped! My husband!

Help me! Protect me! For help! Rape!

Hey! Who raped you?

Help! For help! Catch them!


My husband, help!

Lord! Sir! What my eyes saw!

Oh, misfortune! Misfortune! Villains boarded...

Let me go! What do you want from me?!

I have not done anything and nothing wrong!

- This pig .. I wanted to rape me! - Be silent, procuress!

Itself made me satirion drink!

These rascals broke into my cabin, when I slept.

I can no longer look you in the eye. One seduced Pudentillu,

And another jumped on me and raped and threatened with death!

How is this possible! Whenever I came back, there is always some kind of a mess!

I know, my dear husband. But, believe me, it's not my fault.

I'm so terribly unlucky... Punish those two bastards!

Oh gods, but she shamelessly lying!

- Shut up! What is your name .. - Ascilto of Tarentum.

- And you? - Encolpio. From Cordoba.

Oh, of Cordova. Beautiful hair.

You look educated.

You do not like cheaters. But sometimes appearances are deceiving.

Get up! Do you mind, my dear...

... If these two nice young men join me for dinner?

Come on, do not be afraid.

You are quite fun. Now it's my turn.


Encolpio! Encolpio!

Where did he run?

Encolpio, where are you?

Where are you running, Encolpio?

Yes, Stand back!

Encolpio, stop! What happened to you?

Enough, enough! Do not be crazy!

What is it you want to do ?!

That'll teach you to respond, when I call you!

Get! That'll teach you not to make me performances!

What a shame! Why such things happen to me ?!

Forget the shame! Thank the gods that we got such a unbiased person!

Otherwise, we would have hanged!

I'd rather die than experience such humiliation...

Look Who's Talking! Dirty whore ready to sleep with all of Rome!

And whose fault is it ?!

When I arrived in Rome, I was a good boy . I wanted to be a poet!

Instead, I met you, dirty cheater!

You made me engaged to 60-year-old woman! Is not it so?

That's right. It is equally true that you are not too resisted, my dear.

And what do you think I could do? Continue to eat mice, huh?


Hey, you two!

Where are you going?

Why do so many men everywhere?

Was committed an attempt on Nero.

- He died? - No, he's still alive, fortunately for you.

- Yes, I just... - Where villa Annaeus Mela?

Go straight.

Behind this hill, near the lake.

Lucky! What fun there every night.

We sticks out here...


Encolpio see what misfortune!

Who is it?

Must be my aunt, wife Annaeus Mela.

Let's go ka. We'd better get out of here.

Oh, my master, give me strength follow you to the grave!

- Stop! What are you doing?! - Leave me! I want to die!

Give me the damn dagger!

Who are you? What are you doing here?

I'm his nephew.

Tell me why you want to kill yourself?

He loved me like no other. No one cared for me the way he did.


Take me with you. I have no one left, I'm so scared.

Do not cry.

Get up.

Tell me, what happened in this house?

Your uncle was accused of involvement in the plot.

And Nero ordered him to commit suicide.

First he cut his veins, but the blood flowed too slowly...

... So hot water is needed.

So did your aunt.

But the slaves, servants... and my aunt. Why did they kill themselves?

Your uncle was very fair and generous man.

No one wanted survive his death.

And I would have the same fate befell if you do not appear.

- Thief! Leave money! - It's yours?

- No, but... - Go away. Get out!

You pristavuchy ugly fagot! Go away!


- So you bite? It is for you! - Thief!

- Take that! - You bastard!

Encolpio! Spare me the bastard! Let me go!

He kicked me in the stomach!

Put this stuff in place, vulture. These are things my uncle!

This is not your uncle's things. All this is yours.

That's all of it?

Yes. Annaeus Mela left no heirs.

And once he his nephew, but now everything is his.

Earth villa, silver - all of it.

- So we are rich! - I'm rich!

Take it and keep a reliable lock.

- Yes, everything shut. - Ok, I will go. I am very sorry.

First of all, we have to take care of the funeral .

Here's another! Deliver me from this!

No. First of all, we have to destroy the testament !

Will? He left a will?

Yes, before his death, he left all his property slaves.

Sorry, but then everything is clear!

It's nephew! Let's find a lawyer and will burn will.

- Where is the will now? - Praetorians go!

Ye gods! What will happen now. Hail Nero!

Praetorian: Open the door! - They'll kill us all.

- It is necessary to escape. - Come on!

No, through the kitchen, there is a secret passage!

No! What are you doing?! No! No!

Surrounded the house! Fast!


What about Ascilto? They could grab it!

Probably caught house was surrounded.

- What do we do now? - Behind me. We were there.

No, indeed! Does anybody find me unhappy!

My uncle died. Emperor stole my inheritance.

- And I lost my best friend! - You've lost everything, but I have gained.

A fine acquisition! I myself a struggle to survive, you know.

When we come to Baiae, we will take a room. And you will teach Greek

And I will prepare food for you, wash your clothes, make your bed ...

I will be at your disposal day and night.

How nice. Come on.

Hello. Should I take care of your horses?

It has died on the way.

Do you have room for me and my slave?

I have a feeling, I know you.

You have been in my hotel before right?


I have a good memory...

Here are just a hair you had shorter.

You are mistaken, sir. I have never had short hair.

So you give us a room or not?

I'm sorry, my hotel is very little it has only 12 rooms, all are busy.

- One of the guests will soon leave for Rome... - Stay out of your own business!

Why do not you want to give us a room? We look suspicious?

If you only knew who my host, you have trembled like a leaf.

Okay. You can take the room 6.

But your slave has to sleep in the stables with the horses.

This is the way of stars:

Those that come, always go back again.

At the time, as a part of heaven goes up, the other - goes down.

We need to imbibe the joy, like tuberose absorb light of the moon,

Before the icy winter comes...

... And will carry us away, as the wind blows the petals.

Tell me, Gitone, where you go to bed tonight?

Do not worry about me, I sleep in the corridor.

We could share a bed. Sleep together, cuddling all night.

Your uncle's body has not cooled down in the grave...

And you dare desecrate his memory?

Why wait? We should enjoy every moment of our lives.

Tell me: what attracts me to you so irresistible?

I have a secret, which you once you learn.

When you're not able to get rid of me .

I want to learn everything your secrets now!

- Come here. - No!

Come here! Do not try to run away from me!

Here you !!!

You want to play hard to get with me ?!

- Let me go! - If you're trying to fool me...

... I'll kill you!

... I swear! - You're hurting me!

- Take your dagger!

You, crispy onion, out of here! I said, get out!

Just look at what a mess you are arranged...

Hey, are you not a brothel! I accept the guests of high society!

Traders, senators... respected people!

I do not care about your senators.

When I was in his room with his slave, I can do whatever I want!

I know I'm your slave!

She was a friend of Annaeus Mela. And I heard talk about it.

What they say about her?

It is said that it is a boy.

- Boy ?! - Yes. A boy dressed as a girl.

Do not pretend you do not know.

- Listen. - Yes?

- Did you see my slave? - I think she went there.

There you are! And what are you doing here?

O Encolpio! These are the people who kindly released room for you.

- Thank you. - It's my pleasure! Sit down please.

We have become friends with your slave.

This is Antonia of Syracuse, former dancer.

And this is her husband Abin, very good man.

They invited me to dinner.

I heard your name before.

To be honest, I'm the biggest The funeral in Rome...

And, consequently, throughout the world. Help yourself, we're almost finished.

- We need to discuss something. - What exactly?

Some rumors about you.

You're going to stay here a long time?

No, we want to relax in Bayyah. Here we are passing through.

We have a small house there.

Rather, it is a villa.

Well, it's obvious. I say so modestly. I love modesty.

I have never been in Bayyah but always heard that it is a fascinating place.

Course. Previously, only patrician family went there.

But now you can find there pimps, thieves... People of any kind!

It's getting ridiculous: all there now live as they want.

Get at least fashion. You can meet there refined young men...

... In women's lush tunics, with long curls down to his shoulders,

... All powdered, with lipstick.

Sometimes we can not even distinguish a man from a woman!

I'm sorry, but I'm tired and go to sleep.

Good idea. So I will not worry about you out.

- Goodnight. Will you come with me? - Yes.

- Where is it? - To sleep.

- You found the bed, huh? - Yes, I'm sleeping with the mistress.

- With Mrs.? - Yes, if you will, she can sleep with me.

I have a spacious bed, it will be very convenient.

As I have to leave, and my wife is afraid of thunderstorms,

I'm glad that she will sleep with this girl.

Gitone, listen, wait a bit: I have to talk to you.

I really want to sleep, let's talk in the morning.

Why do not you go tomorrow ?! A terrible storm begins.

I can not, I have a very important funeral. Unfortunately, the dead can not wait.

Gitone, is that you?

I heard both of you!

Have mercy, madam, I beg you! We already wanted by the police . Do not ruin us!

I think you can imagine that young, well-educated woman feels,

Find in his bed instead of slave girls horny boy.

? The boy .. You know for sure that...

A real male! He did not give me time to scream !

What are you going to do now?

Sell me your servant, and I forget everything.

What is a good buy!

You can play with him, whenever and wherever you want! Whore!!!

Look, I'll be honest and transparent, as spring water.

I would rather you in his bed, but my husband will be jealous.

A slave girl not cause any suspicion.

I'll tell your husband!

Take the money and get out!

Or I'll put in prison, and you and your brother!

Can I at least say goodbye to him? Last time...

You're handsome, young. So many women want you.

It's not fair that you fell in love with the boy.

You're right. I'd better leave, leave now!

Encolpio, wait for me!

I'm with you!

Get out!

Go back to where you spent the night, lustful puppy!

If you banish me, I'll cut my throat right before your eyes!

Enough to break a comedy!

Vile liar! Why did not you tell me that you're a boy ?!

I was wanted by the police. Do not give me no one should know me.

Of course! In the meantime, I'm in love with you!

Do you understand that ?! I'm caught in your trap!

Wait! No, Encolpio.

Well, do not leave me! Pretend I'm your slave.

No, everything has already been decided. In addition, I sold your mistress.

- How much does it pay? - 5 thousand sesterces.

- 5 thousand sesterces? !! - Yes.

So run, until she woke up!

Here I called you, brothers and followers,

To tell, what happens in these places.

Share of sin, which is hidden behind a deceptive beauty and shameful,

... And about them, about these people!

Whose uncontrolled and wild ambition multiplied their wealth!

Deafened by lustful music rushing from the temples of vice...

... This new Sodom, of Babylon, of Sybaris ,

... Where everything is dedicated to the worship of money and sensual pleasures!

But the smell of decay already comes from their pleasure!

For the wrath of God is coming! Floral sink ships!

A lustful music silenced forever!

I'm telling you, take care of yourself.

Reject any temptation, which is flattering society beckons you...

What do you offer us in return?

Society of complete boredom, persecution obscurantism...

... And worship of death. - This is slander!

I am a philosopher Demetrius Carso, and I belong to the great Stoic school.

You just hide behind noble cloth Stoic school.

In fact, you're out of the sect from the East,

Gang of crazy dreamers!

Preaching love and mercy, you spread anarchy and fear!

Calm down, my son. Why contradict the teacher?

This can be dangerous.

All run! Run away from the camp!

Come here!

Hey! Rise up, come on. Well, this is your chance.

- Yes, it's a brothel! - So what?


Encolpio: Get away from me!

What a nice girl! Are you new here?

Get your hands!

What's this guy want? Come on...

Get your hands! Damn! Hit the dirty pig!

Let's look for another way out.

- My bird is tired... - Why did you get in the way?

... She does not sing, it is no longer sings...

... If you love me, you sing .

Hey, soldier, I won a few bucks?

Corinne when passed 3 hours after sunset sun brothel must be closed!

Why is it closed?

Because I write, and you distract me ! Clear?

What exactly is it you write ?!

Yes, whatever I want! Songs, poetry, comedy... You cares?


- Encolpio! - Ascilto!

- How are you? - I thought you were dead.

I was looking for you everywhere!

- They're after me. - Excellent! Nothing changes.

You will not find a hiding place for me and my little slave?

Your slave? Of course. Upstairs in my room.

- Are you really live here? - No! I live alone at the top. Let's go to.

Corinne! Remember: 3rd hour after sunset!

Corinne, who is this handsome young man, whose I have never been here before have not seen?

This neat place, you'll see. Far, Pliny. - Till.

- How good it smells here! - How many times should I repeat it?

I told you many times,

So you do not go here, when you have to go to his room.

You have to walk through the main entrance, all customers.

Behave yourself! I have guests.

- Come on. - Guests at it!

Before you pay for a room, or I'll throw you all out of here !!!

Do you have money?

- I 5000 sesterces. - You see? Expose us to score,

We will pay one month in advance.

Send us into the room better food along with a good house wine.

Do not be angry! Till!

We have experienced so many adventures together .

We risk our lives and limbs. Is lost and re-found each other.

But tell me, why should we spend our lives on all the small stuff?

You're right. And I am very happy, that you said it.

By the way, I started to work seriously .

I have written a lot of things.

Stop making noise, finally, , or I'll call the police!

- It's some drunk here... - Oh, it's you, Scylla! Excellent!

I do not care, or who are drunk. Throw it!

I can not take it anymore!

Know Encolpio, you're right. We have to start from scratch.

We need to change the social circle and to reduce friendship with these intellectuals.

In short, the people deserve to have! - I agree. Where do we find them?

You can attend school Agamemnon, where your uncle taught.

- This is true. - This is a very famous school,

Where you can meet the greatest philosophers and poets of Rome.

All of them come here on vacation.


Here is the wig...

Here we use bit of cinnamon oil.

More minutes and you'll beautiful as Apollo.

All pretty.


Here. You even beautiful Apollo.

- Keep it to you. - Always refer to Zeno.

- Thank you. - See you.

- This fresh chicken? - Of course, just killed!

- Hey! You know who they are? - See which elegant young people.

You notice how people admire us?

Just tune how we look.

Good morning.

Good morning!

Now that you've made I spend all my money,

... Tell me how we 's get going?

Fun, do not worry because of that.

You'll see, even before the onset evening we were invited to dinner.

The fact that the wisest, who lived before us,

Left us undiscovered truths, but truths left to be discovered!

We have proposed a new law on the reorganization of provinces ,

The Emancipation Proclamation, the abolition of duties...

Order to build a new world under the patronage of Rome!

But, I say, who can resist the march of history ?!

What is the arrogant idiot.

The big landowners in the south do it. Their supporters in the Senate...

... Considering the abolition of duties as a threat.

I'm not talking to you!

It's a rhetorical question, he does not need a reply!

Now he's angry...

Enough! It is pointless! Have you ever not know anything about the rhetoric!

There are more pressing problem: issue of pensions for our employees...

Why do you butted with their arguments?

I'm sorry, but why we came here?

Is that new to you? We were going to find someone who would invite us to dinner.

That's the right person.

It is very rich.

- What's his name? - Piso.

- How ?! - Piso!

Oh, my favorite Python! I wondered why fate so hostile to me,

And it gave me pleasure to see you again .

Oh, my dear! But who are you? I can not remember...

And who is this handsome boy? Such a shy...

Can I invite you for dinner? - Of course.

- Yes? Such an honor for me. - No, we can not.

Python: But why ?! - Of course we can!

All forget!

Forget ?! Because of you we are stay hungry!

Do not you see that this old pervert ?

Well, so what ?!

... Your toga so worn and torn , - they say.

But the fact is that at my age I have little interest in worldly things.

My dear young friends, as you know ,

I have lived in this city for two months ...

... In anticipation of the ship, coming out of Egypt with a cargo of gold,

Present many millions of sesterces.

A timeout always lasts so long,

And I asked myself: "What am I going to do with such great wealth?"

I am alone in this world: I have no wife, no sons...

I wish you a long life! But when you die,

As it happens with all the... Who do you leave your riches?

I have been concerned about this problem for a long time.

Not having sons, I leave everything to his disciples !

The best of the students...

Who will be next to me... spiritually in the last years of my life.

Who will be ready after my death...... I eat my dead body.

Eat your corpse ?!

Yes, this is the condition.

Is there in the world anything more stupid these prejudices!

Be sure, we have no prejudices at all .

Perhaps the meat is not too tasty, but if well prepared...

- Maybe a little fish sauce... - Well said!

Do not even too fresh meat quite edible with a drop of fish sauce.

Yes, it's all so... I would like to understand something.

Why do you want to we ate your body?

Perhaps for some deep reason, originating from your philosophies?

No! Most religious than philosophical. In the sense that my atoms,

... And maybe my soul, you will go to ,

... Creating a sort of spiritual continuity.

Listen to talk about all this quietly

... Why do not you invite us to dinner ?

Oh, guys, if you are looking for, where dinner, then you're out of luck,

Because I am here for the same reason.

So, listen, let's be honest. In fact, you're not rich?

I will become to them, when priplyvt ship.

What are you going to do tonight, baby ?

Would you like to take a walk with me?

- Let me touch you! - Hey, chill out! Be patient a little bit!

- Where do you live? - Getting close.

But we walk for half an hour! Go now to me!

Ouch! Help! Bandits!

Do not yell!

- Why did you hit him with a knife? - How such a knife ?!

Search for money! Here they are. Come on!


Oh, my arm!

Do not lose hope, my friends skeptics.

Luck is always in the hands of the gods. You just need to grab it.

You're right!

If the gods angry?

If the gods are angry, it is their own business.

- Corinne! - Leave me alone! What does she want?

- Hey! Who are you talking to? - With one another.

I said a million times, that you did not stick to the whores!

Or I'll spank! Come on, get back to work . Take care of the laundry.

Oh, Jupiter, sending the rain, and you, Juno! You, ruling the destinies of people and gods...

... In the silence of Olympus, listen to songs, liberated quiet at night...

... When sleep deceives us. And you, Selena, White Moon, listen...

Pears are delicious with fish sauce!

Fate will not protect you from the arrows of love.

Love conquers the gods as well as mortals . And your heart burn,

Your blood and flames...

Well, get away!

You pig! I do not have it!

You collect things at once!

Well, piss off, you idiot! Without me, you both will die of hunger!

- Oh well! Where's my knife? - No!

Give my dagger, you little brat! Or I'll strangle you!

- Aah! He's choking me! - Still would! I'll kill you, creation!

Let him go!

- Oh! My ear! - Stop!

- Stop! - Son of a bitch!


Fire! Fire!

The fire Ascilto!

- It is necessary to knock him! - Look, what a mess!

This is my bed, by the way.

Help me! Help! Well give away!

Raise! Throw it out.

Throw it! Throw!

Hey! What are you doing, bastards ?!

What are we to do ?! Untie!

Just look what you've done! Idiots!

Where, in your opinion, I am now going to sleep ?!

Hey, enough!

I'll call the police!

What happened?

I'm sorry, teacher. Just a small incident.

And you still dare to complain that we are too shumim!

- What's the matter ?!

We fought! We Ascilto decided to disband.

No! That he decided to leave. Because of his asshole!

Well, my friends, do not quarrel!

Especially when I prihoshu you with such good news!

The ship sailed ?!

Forget the ship. Better!

How much better?

We are all invited to dinner at Trimalchione !

Guys, guys!

Look at that man. Just two years ago he traded rags,

Now worth three million sesterces.

And there he left us - is Ganymede.

It builds palaces, collapsing even from drafts.

His brother next to him - large landowner.

A woman - his sister, former hairdresser.

And over there - the owner of a large factory spicy sausages.

He sells them worldwide.

All of them were slaves.

And today... one of the most famous of the rich!

And then what a whale?

Where? .. You do not know who this woman is that you are so unfair called them "whale"?

- This is the wife of Trimalchione. - So cute!

And when he comes Trimalchione?

He sits all day in the bathroom.

Nothing funny.

Look who's here.

- Who? - The guy I hit.

Do you see that, with a bandaged hand?

Let's go, Gitone, we'd better get out.

Do not be silly! He did not say anything.

Do not you see, that he came with his wife?


You still prettier!

My dear Savina, hello!

Let's pretend do not see it.

What a failure! He will ruin us all dinner!

What is he looking? He recognized us?

No... I do not think.

Dear friends! Guests of both sexes!

And if there is someone middle floor, the better.

Be ready to welcome the master of the house.

Our infinitely generous Trimalchione!

Glory, glory Trimalchione! Glory, glory, glory!



I'm sorry, I'm sorry for being late,

But the last few days my stomach constantly swells.

And it took me some time to release it.

Wow! As the subtlety of his speech.

This is more nonsense. Listen further.

One moment, what was I saying? Forgotten...

Oh, yeah... My stomach plays with me dirty jokes.

And doctors prescribed me a lot of infusions, so let's hope for the best.

Otherwise, do not be alarmed if you hear a loud sound like a hurricane blew.

It may seem banal to you.

Yes... There's nothing wrong in that, what I'm saying.

No one is born a sealed - without a hole.

And constraints is very dangerous, because gases may get into the brain.

Believe me, I've known many, who died only on,

I do not dare speak loudly on the matter.

So, if someone has a need, is not a problem, do not hesitate to speak loudly!

Good for you, girl! You could not do anything smarter with this stupid mug!

- Hey! You again for your! - What are you psihuesh?

Return to your place and behave yourself!

What a nice girl. I'd like to, you to be my disciple.

What more student? Fuck off!

Behave yourself as well! Did you leave her alone!

That's spoiled my appetite! Damn! - Stop!

Who knows when more we succeed so eat!

If you behave well, we Trimalchione guests every evening.

What does it mean "to behave properly?"

My dear, to be a welcome guest in the homes of the rich , you need to act...

According to their tastes, and above all , learn the art of flattery.

- And how is it? - Watch and learn.

Oh dear, rich Trimalchione and my lord!

More recently, this room stayed in the darkness.

You are missing in our dining room for noble reasons,

Who kindly told us.

Suddenly a bright sunny light illuminated the horizon,

Filling our hearts with joy!

Now answer... Who is the sun ?!

- Trimalchione! Trimalchione! - Yes Yes! Trimalchione!

I was born a slave, rather than stupid.

I know that you suck up to me to receive an invitation for the next evening.

Well, well. You will be my guest daily during the week.

My dearly beloved Trimalchione! Does this mean that we are all invited too?

No way.

What a mess, Trimalchione! All the pigs ran away!

And the boar? Boar! Curse!

Boars - very dangerous animals!

Anyone who has a weapon, defend yourself !

Do not worry, we're here!

Do not worry, my boy.

Trimalchione, you feel bad?

Oh, gods! What happened with me?

Trimalchione, what's wrong?

Do not leave me...

Go! Is not interrupted because of me.

Cut the ! - Cut!

What a fantasy!

Thank Trimalchione! - How wonderful!

- Gifts for all!

How cute!

O almighty Trimalchione, just the clock struck five o'clock.

Heard, my friends? More hour of our life has departed.

Our lives are reduced for one more hour.

And this nonsense I have heard.

How unfair... Sorry.

How unfair that my life passes so quickly...

- a rich man! - Life as slaves,

These dogs, who soul and some do not!

So listen carefully, I will tell you.

Death is always waiting in ambush and overtakes us suddenly!

Thank the gods, this time death passed without noticing me.

But let us not delude ourselves: next time may be the last.

And now, my dear friends, let us eat and drink and enjoy as much as we can.

It is, perhaps, the last days for some of you.

If by chance tomorrow, wake up, we will find that still alive,

We thank the gods, to give us one more day.

So to live the Roman... I'm a Roman.

And I eat.

Trimalchione Hail!

You have already finished? Try using two fingers.

Try to get to it. The ring is yours, if you want. It's yours!

And this is for you! For you!

Here! Grab it! It sapphire!

Take! So you sapphire!

- Crawl, crawl! - Grab it! Grab!

Crawl, grab it with his crooked teeth!

Gitone, choose out immediately!

- I said stop it! - Leave me alone!

Oh! Brat! Why did you bite my ear?

Hey! Here!


Forever woman to moralize!

The same women who, - only we otvernmsya...

Jump into bed our slaves!

- Wise words! - Well said. It's true!

I was a slave, and I myself first started play tricks with his mistress.


Let me hear what kind of noise.

Gods! Now Ceiling collapses!

- Earthquake! - Hurry! Every man for himself!

It's an earthquake!

Now, if you'll forgive me, you will find there small gifts for yourself...

Every small alabaster vase.

- Get out! Do not touch! - It is mine! - I saw it first!

And now, my dear friends, let us kiss face...

Our dear and beloved Trimalchione. Kiss! Kiss him!

See, what a beautiful...


What is this, a joke?

Do not be offended. Try to take it with a sense of humor.

What is the sense of humor! It's bad taste! Plain rude!

- No... Trimalchione: I heard you, you fool!

What you did not like stupid slacker?

You made the wrong choice, You chose the wrong bowl! So what?

Look at your teacher. Is he older than you.

It is never find fault!

- What would you have in a vase? - Pearl.

What do think of themselves these shitty intellectuals?

They think they can criticize us only because we are ill-educated!

Do you? Sami then? Jackals!

Finished eating the corpse of his teacher, for the sake of the inheritance!

True Trimalchione!

We were born slaves, I know, but thanks to its wit...

We have created a factory developed trade...

... Made a fortune!

We feed people, build roads and equip ships to the very edge of the world!

And you, who are you? Third-poetishki, rats!

I Posse, and you will wash away from Earth!

What are you laughing at, whore ?! Crow feeds!

Beware! If not for my respect for Trimalchione,

I would've knocked your teeth!

- What are you so mad at the poor girl? - Shut up, cook!

Do not pretend! I know who you really , and all your illegal business!

And remember: as soon as this party over, you pay dearly!

Shut up, Seleucus! Enough! You were too young...

... And done, no less! Sit down!

Let's forget everything and have a drink! Let's drink!

- Well said, Trimalchione! - Hail Trimalchione!



Where is Gitone?

Washed away. And very rightly so.




- Searching for your girl? - Yes. Have you seen her?

I think it's there. Come on.

Oh! What monster did this ?!

I bequeath to you, Seleucus, 300,000 sesterces and 2,000 sheep...

... Because you're a very good man. - Thank you.

I bequeath a villa in Pompeii my dog Diana, along with slaves,

... Servants, and all the dogs.

- Wow! - Daily of 100 sesterces,

... Which must be spent on accommodation and meals.

- And you left me? - You - nothing.

What's going on? What he says?

It feels bad. Afraid that die, and therefore dictates his will.

I give all my freedom 30,000 slaves.

- You are so kind, Trimalchione. - Because I was a slave...

... And do not forget, in any derogatory position they reside.

You, poet Eumolpo, I bequeath my precious hours.

Thank you.

And six cargo ships with the crews and captains - your two pupils.

Ascilto! He just commanded six ships us!

- What kind of ships? - I dont know.

You seem not very satisfied, Eumolpo.

Thank our benefactor for your generosity!

Unprecedented generosity! Long life to you!

Reptiles! You reptiles!

- Reptiles! - Hail Trimalchione!

I'm bad! Hurry! Oh! Call a doctor!

- I'm here. - No, not you, quack!

- My personal doctor! - I'm here. What happened?

Oh! How bad!

I feel like my life is slipping away!

- How bad! - Hold on, Trimalchione.

Why doctors can not help me? Sons of bitches!

Hey! Wake up, wake up! Do you not see that our Trimalchione dies?

Oh, how ugly death.

I have to leave all of my money, goods and valuables...

... This slave offspring.

I can not eat lunch more than with my friends, oh...

... Or try a delicious dish,

... Or touch...

These, breast my slave... Allow me to once again touch...

Let me touch...

I feel like my life is slipping away...

Do as anything...

So he dies or not?

- He died. He actually died. - We are rich!

How many ships, say, he bequeathed to us before you die?

Six seems to be yes? - Died? Do not be fooled.

It's just a show. - Performance?

- So he's not dead? - No...

Every day he wakes up, eats, drinks, he makes love, gets drunk...

And then it dies, as if every day was the last in his life.

And what will?

Tomorrow he will break it into pieces and make a new .

It has been going on for 12 years.

Days shine like lightning. Do not look upeesh...

And already the night came.

You, Trimalchione, whose daily transferred out of bed in the triclinium,

Today are from the triclinium on his deathbed!

In Kum I saw immortal Sibyl, prisoners in a glass bottle.

I asked her: "What do you want?"

And Sibyl said: "I want to die."

Now we will burn your body and extinguish the remains of wine!

Falernian best wine from your vineyards ! Very tasty...

But before we cut off one of your fingers... as required by tradition.

Goodbye, my friend! Goodbye!

- My Trimalchione! - Why did he leave us?

Now kiss all your favorite Trimalchione. In the queue!

By turns.

Kiss our poor master.

Move forward. Do not hurry... One!

Do not rush, do not rush! Do not push!


You are not seen Ascilto?

I have seen him leave in a great hurry.

I must have gone home.

Home? Why did not he wait for me?

Oh, he son of a bitch!

And take your money, tramp!

And do not come back here, damn martinet!

You spoil my girls!

- Ha! Modesty. - Yes, my modesty!

When I cried, he drew his sword, saying:

"If you're Lucretia, I'll be your Tarquinius!"

What you will answer, dirty lecher ?!

You who do not respect even his own sister!

Let's not empty words. I do not Gitone sister.

Then carefully vbey himself in the head: Gitone my!

What is "mine" or "yours"?

We were friends and shared everything equally for many years.

I want my half!

Even if I have to cut off it's that sword!

No, I do not want to see blood again!

If now should take place murder, that's my throat!

That I must die, because I - reason shattered friendship!

I found a way to put an end to our dispute .

And what?

You and I will go their separate ways. A Gitone go with the one he chooses.


Let Gitone chooses.

And we'll disperse forever.

You stay with him or you go with me?


Cry. To Great.

I fled from justice and almost lost his life in the arena,

To stay at the end of alone.

Who was trampled my heart.

Do not even a woman, and effeminate youth.

Oh, merciless Priapus! As a young man severely punished...


You. Forsaken by female beauty.

A Gitone, he wanders...

Listen carefully! Three dangerous criminals hiding in the city,

Guilty of robbery and other crimes. Their names:

Ascilto of Tarentum, Encolpio from Cordoba and Gitone from Rome.

This modest house, which gave me grocer from Capua.

I may have a little mess, but you know poets...

Are you sure I'm safe here ?

Yes, you can be calm!

Come in, come in. Look out kid!

I will change you completely by doing this that you look like my slave.

No one in the world does not recognize you, even your own mother.

Fate tightened the rope around your neck ...

And you can not either untie or cut it.

In the midst of all the misfortunes that befell me ,

I was fortunate to meet at least with such a good person like you.

Tell me how you can help me, if themselves struggling to make ends meet?

Do not think about such minor things .

Important only our friendship,

Will always be clean and unconditional sense for both of us.

Only superior beings capable of such feelings.

We can sell your delicious hair on the market. Right?

So we can More and dine.

Now I draw the letter "F" on your forehead.

Why are you looking at me?

You tossed in his sleep.

In the dream there is something mysterious... Some kind of magic.

- What do you want? - Nothing! Nothing...

At my age I can do is just watch .

Listen, I do not like how you look at me.

How can you be so selfish ?

She betrayed you! Look it up yourself!

She betrayed you! She lies in bed with another!

Approach I open the future.

Need a gladiator?

Hello, dear...

Sorry, not today. I am invited to dinner...

... So, I am sure that the most important thing - is to learn to die.

You may find it useless art ,

That we can use only once.

But thanks to him, even in the happiest moments of our lives

We can with quiet dignity look at death.

That Ms. looking at you.

Do not you see that it enough to be my mother?

Yes, but she hung precious stones.

What motivates us interrupt your life?

Do not you see how life breaks at the most banal reasons?

Someone hung in front of the door of her lover ,

Another rushes to the roof to escape the wrath of his master.

You look so arrogant, because you think that irresistible?

But being here, you clearly show that trade his favor.

How else can you explain their beautiful hair ,

Your eyebrows, such graceful, your eyes are languishing ..?

In short, may I ask, what you want from me?

If all your charms for sale, then I have a buyer.

Who sent you?

My lady, from a very noble family...

And she is willing to pay for you 500 sesterces.

Thank you! I'm not interested.

It's ridiculous. The young man at your age...

Really? You brought me here to study philosophy...

Or trade me?

Well, because it would not be the first time for you .

You hit the owner!

Poet! Poor old destitute!

You know that you are a slave, and I order you to hang !!!

Dirty old man! Now you're blackmailing me .

Bravo! Finally, before you came!

So go and try not to disappoint this Mrs. ! .. If you still can.


The Fugitive, huh?


I do not want to take them, but I have to do it.

I am a woman, only this year know love.

Take me in your arms... courageous

And accept my inexperienced kisses.

Why are you so cold?

I do not know, I feel bad. I guess I'm sick.

Give him something to drink. Let's see if it gets warm.

What's the matter, my beautiful paralytic?

Perhaps simply roll the fool?

Do not let make a fool of me! I'll show you who I am!

What's wrong with you? You do not like my kisses?

My breath enough fresh?

I'm doing something wrong? I look bad?

Madam, do not taunt me, I am under the influence of terrible magic...

... Curses! I have committed a sacrilege...

And god Priapus angry at me.

What other justification thou hast provided?

The worm, a liar, a dog! Give me the whip!

Worm! Scoffer! Idiot! Deceiver!

Worm! Scoffer! Impotent!

Priapus, why are you so cruel with me?

If you come back to me my strength, I will sacrifice to you chicken...

Or goat, or pig ... - Do not go that far!

... Whole calf! With only a wish...

Hey, if you're willing to offer a goat...

... Or cock, then let's go!

Let's go, let's go! We saved a lot unfortunate people, like you.

Where do we go?

- Antonia! - Antonia Greek woman?

Antonia! We have a customer!

That's nuts.

Oh, poor thing! He drowned.

Poor thing! You will remain impotent for life!

I beg you! Do something!

I'm ready for everything to recover!

You have forgotten his brother. Or all will be in vain.

I will do so you threw it out of my head!

What are you doing? Oh! - Get!

Pig! Libertines! Cheap! Pig! It is for you!

The more you think about it, the more I you beat!

- Do you still think about it? - Enough! I do not think more about it!

You've removed the lizard?

Do not drink too much.

Massage nettles - very useful.

Let the blood run. Let the running, running, even running!

Give me poison, I want to die!

Where did you find another priestess, like this?

Stay calm, relax !



It's me! It Encolpio! Ascilto you recognize me?

I'm your friend, Ascilto!



Where have you been? I am looking for you for three days.

- They killed Ascilto! - I know. Do not worry.

Death constantly hangs over all of us,

And we should take this as a natural course of things.

But I'm worried about Gitone.

- They could grab it, too... - Do not despair,

Because Gitone managed to escape. - Where is he?!

I cut his hair so here it no one will know.

Turn, Gitone. Show me you face.

Now it looks as a boy, is not it?

When beauty is flawless, it has no gender.

Come on, make peace.

I left you, but I am not guilty.

Because you two, he was the strongest. I'm afraid for you.

Let's not talk about it.

Now Ascilto dead and our lives are in danger, too.

We must escape from this cursed city now!

And this is exactly that we're going to do.

- Really? - Come, sailors.

- Where is the baggage? - Here and there.

- I'll take it. - No, I'll take it!

- Where are we? - We sit on the ship...

... My very wealthy friend who sent south to have fun.

I would say that my nephew Gitone,

And he will be able to sleep in my cabin.

- I ?! - You, as before - my slave...

And will sleep in the hold, with servants.

- Come on, move over! - Do not push.

Hey, you! Help me!

- I? - Yes, you are. Get up!

Follow me.

The gods are cruel: first they give us all the joy at once...

... And then taken away from us one after the other. Thank you dear.

In any case, I never liked the Apollo...

Hey, you! Stop!

Catch it!

As you can see, my dear friends, bastard stole my ship.

But, fortunately, we caught him!

Now I will punish him as true, as he deserves!

No! No! Not in front of everyone! Better death!

Undress him and tie to the mast!

No, Lih! This youth not a crook, I swear.

He came on board with me, it is one of my slaves, he even branded.

If he were a slave, it would be a stigma!

See? I had once caught this rogue on your ship!

- He even dared to rape my wife! - Your wife?

- Not true! She raped me! - What are you telling tales, trickster!

You caught again!

And what you had hoped?

Slip into my bed and jump on me, like last time?

Shut up, vile serpent! Dirty whore!

How dare you say like my wife ?!

Her honor will be avenged your blood!


Stay, Lih, enough fooling around!

You know how little I care about my honor.

Although my mentors tried to convince me that love - is a sin,

Their words not found response in my head.

Trifena law. Why love to hide...

... Or punish her, as a crime?

Instead generously offer it as a commodity for exchange.

So that everyone could enjoy it.

Feel how sweet and warm breeze! How calm the sea!

Let's go back to our joyful game.

Do not darken my homecoming senseless tragedy!

So, my friends, this means that we will have one slave less...

... And one attractive guest more. - Thank you, Mr.

Thank you.

How rare such moments perfect harmony.

I'm sorry, gentlemen, I have to go.

Dawned on me inspiration. I have to write it down. It must be written.

Do not lose your head! All rise to the deck!

- This way! - I do not wanna die!

Neptune, save us!

Gitone! Where are you going?! Wait!

- I do not wanna die! - Help!

Eumolpo! Come on!

Get out! Do not bother me, as I write !

- The ship is sinking! - I do not care for it!

Lightning sky covered.

And rain clouds tore off the leash.

How crazy seagulls, they rushed into space.


- I do not wanna die!

O the depth of the sky! Abyss sea and land!

Trifena! Where are you?

I'm not afraid of you, gods! I do not fear any of you!

Gitone! Where are you?!


Gitone! Encolpio!

Hold on to me tight! We must hold fast to each other!

I'm scared!

We will stay together... Until the end! My love!

Translation: Google Translate

The Description of Satyricon (1969 Polidoro film) (Rus., Esp., Eng* Sub.)